Humor: "Real" Guides

The theory holds that the concept of "Real" in the BBS Scene rose from the bestselling book "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche", published in the early 1980's. The audacity of this title, along with the easy copy-cat books that surrounded it, are probably what led to a massive rush of textfiles dedicated to listing or describing examples of "Real" Pirates, "Real" Phreakers, "Real" Users, and a host of other modem personalities.

In some cases, the action gets extremely metaphysical, with a Guide to Real Pirate's Guides, and Guides to types that no-one outside of the author probably knew existed.

Description of the Textfile
808-elit.txt 5817
How to Be Elite, by 808 State (1991)
anarch.hum 5680
Anarchists: What a bunch of Pussies! By Mr. Curious
anarchy.hum 3125
How to be an Anarchist (Probably should be REAL ANARCHISTS...)
anklebyt.txt 11102
The Real Anklebyter's Guide
bangers.txt 3093
The Real Guide to Headbangers Volume 2: By Night Hawk and Night Ranger
compnerd.hum 3930
How to be a Computer Nerd (Also known as "REAL NERDS")
engineer.txt 1548
Real Engineers
k00ld00d.txt 5069
The History of Real K-K00l D00Ds by The Edge
killnerd.hum 5680
Spotting and Killing Nerds by John Smith and Sorcerer's Apprentice
kooldoo4.txt 8409
K-K00L D00Ds Volume 4, by The Radioactive Snail
lechhate.hum 6307
What Leeches Hate about AE Sysops
leechdic.hum 8997
The Leech Dictionary, by the Blue Buccaneer
leechus.hum 7259
A Lengthy Comparison of Real Users and Real Leeches
losers.hum 4250
Real Losers Guide Volume 1, by The Enforcer
mel-prog.txt 7805
The Story of a REAL Real Programmer: Mel
melvins.gph 3328
Real Computer Melvins
pirates.txt 13730
A Couple of Real Pirates Guides
pirates2.txt 6066
The Real Pirates Guide Volume III V.2 Written by the Whip
power.txt 7472
The Power User Guide to Power Users
pyros.hum 4145
The Real Pyros Guide by The Locksmith
quiche.txt 3588
Real Programmers Don't Eat Quiche 1809
Real Programmers Don't Eat Quiche
real_p.rog 26141
Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal, by Ed Post, Tektronix
real_pro.pas 24993
Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL, by Ed Post, Tektronix
real_pro.spe 6437
Real Porgrammers Don't Write Specs
realcpnk.txt 11780
The Men from Mongo present Real Cyberpunks (September 24, 1991)
realduh.txt 2300
The Real Deversi Dial Users Guide
realeng.sof 3393
Real Software Engineers Don't Read Dumps
realgame.hum 5398
A Guide to Real Gamers, by Fritz Mertens
realhomo.hum 5065
The Guide to Real Homosexuals/Lesbians. I Suspect Fake.
realluze.hum 3709
The Real Luzer's Guide, by Jimmy the Phreak 9262
Real Programmers Write in Fortran
realmen.txt 24689
Real Programmers Don't Write Pascal
realops.txt 5248
The Real operator's Guide 25241
Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL
realphre.hum 6209
Real Phreaker's Guide Volume I, by Taran King
realpir.hum 4039
Your Guide to Real Pirates Guides
realpir.txt 9344
The Real Pirate's Guide, by Ctrl-Reset
realpira.hum 6529
The Real Pirate's Guide, by Rabid Rasta
realprgr.txt 3807
Another Real Progammers Guide
realpro.hum 8713
Real Programmers Don't use Fortran!
realprog.txt 2178
Real Programmers
realrokr.txt 2202
A Real Rocker's Guide, by The Rocker
realscie.hum 3529
Real Computer Scientists Don't Write Code
realsoft.hum 3434
Real Software Engineers Don't Read Dumps
realsoft.txt 9977
Real Software Engineers Don't Read Dumps
realsurf.txt 2454
The Code of being a Real Surfer
realsys.txt 2136
Real Sysops Don't Eat Quiche by Karl Kemerait and T. Badd
realteac.hum 12156
Real Computer Teachers, by The Joker
realuser.txt 3043
Real Sysops and Unreal Board Crashers, and Real BBS Users, by The Master Watchman
realwork.hum 5001
Real Works Users, by Jason Scott
rpg.001 7552
The Real Pirate's Guide
rpg1.txt 6858
Being a Real Pirate.
rpg2.txt 7738
Real Pirate's Guide, 2nd Edition
rpg3.txt 3302
Real Pirate's Guide, 3rd Edition
ruggies.hum 5155
The Real Ruggie's Guide
skimboar.hum 4192
A Guide to Real Skimboarders
skinstud.hum 7733
Real Skins Versus Real Studs
some.humor? 6362
Collection of Really Weird News Stories from 1976
squid.hum 6850
The True Definition of a Squid
ticool.txt 5016
The Real "Cool Dudes" Guide, by Red Phantom
unrealus.hum 3594
The Unreal User and the Real User, by Floppie Freddie

There are 62 files for a total of 430,968 bytes.