I have an amusing text file that reminds me of about 2/3 of the sysops in my area: REAL SYSOPS DON'T EAT QUICHE. BY KARL KEMERAIT ADDITIONS AND REVISIONS BY T BADD * Real Sysops don't say they're getting a hard drive. They already have one. * Real Sysops have 2400 baud. There are a few exceptions. * Real Sysops have a fan on their computer at all times. * Real Sysops turn off their monitor as often as possible. * Real Sysops have their own phone line without 'call-waiting.' * Real Sysops disconnect their computer's speaker. * Real Sysops turn off the ringer on their telephone. * Real Sysops have a clock card. * Real Sysops don't care if you say that you are putting up a board next summer. * Real Sysops avoid 'Chat Mode' as often as possible. * Real Sysops hate it when you call yourself a 'future sysop.' * Real Sysops know that it's not the sysops that make a BBS great; it's the users. * Real Sysops don't post 'new board' messages on every other board in town until their board is actually up and running. * Real Sysops laugh when people say things like 'I have your voice number' or 'I am a Fed.' * Real Sysops know that 'phone' is spelled with 'ph' and 'fun' with 'f'. * Real Sysops don't bother to answer the phone when they're using their computer because they know the guy will have heart failure and hang up. * Real Sysops don't change the name of their board every month. * Real Sysops don't find it amusing when users leave numbers like: CAN-NOT-TELL or *UN-LIS-TED! * Real Sysops don't take their BBS down every five minutes to call a board. * Real Sysops don't post their numbers on every known BBS. * Real Sysops don't leave mail to users begging them to post. * Real Sysops get angry if their boards are crashed. Fortunately, real boards are rarely crashed and Real Sysops make back-ups, anyway. * Real Sysops don't care about "Improper Signoffs." * Real Sysops DON'T think they are God and are better than everyone