QUARK AND KIRA It had been a long day for Quark. A busy day. An acquisative day. A profitable day. An ordinary day. Quark looked forward with anticipation now that the bar had been closed for the night, the money of all the currencies of the quadrant counted and locked away in the vault, the subspace calls made all over the quadrant to further various business dealings, legal and otherwise; well, it was time for the holosuites. "Business Before Pleasure" was one of the most important Rules of Acquisition. He entered the holosuite and said, "Computer, activate program Quark-KN1." Around him the holosuite changed to a replica of the DSN "interrogation chamber" as it looked during the time when the Cardassians ran the station. Then a holodeck simulation of Kira appeared. "QUARK! You miserable son of a troll!" Holodeck-Kira shouted as he grabbed him by the ear and tied him to an X-shaped flogging frame with the swift, efficent motions of a Cardassian interrogator. Holodeck-Kira stripped Quark exposing his bare backside and buttocks and pulled the ropes tying him to the frame tighter until the holodeck safety override kicked in. Then she took what the Cardassians call the Strap of Inquiry -- a bullwhip -- from the wall and hit Quark full on the backside with it. Waiting a half minute to let the pain from the first stroke sink in, as Quark shouted "Thank you, Mistress Kira!" and then she hit him again, this time on the buttocks as Quark squealed in pleasure. The simulation hit him so hard as to leave him just short of unconciousness or internal damage -- the safety overrides again. After the third stroke, Quark could feel his cum rising inside him. After the fourth stroke, the cum began to dribble out of his penis, average for a Ferengi but short and very thick by human or Bajoran standards. He ejaculated again after the fifth and sixth stroke, but ran out of cum after the seventh. Nontheless, Holodeck-Kira continued until she had delivered thirteen strokes. "That was for collaborating with the Cardassians!" Kira said as she came up to him and spat in his face. "Mistress Kira, I love you, you are so beautiful in your uniform.." *slap* "You are a filthy piece of collaborationist shit!" Holodeck-Kira shouted, and slapped him again. "Now what are you?" Holodeck-Kira demanded. "I'm a filthy piece of collaborationist shit." "LOUDER!" "I'M A FILTHY PIECE OF COLLABORATIONIST SHIT." Another slap full on the face - "That goes, I'm a filthy piece of collaborationist shit MISTRESS! Now say it!" "I'm a filthy piece of collaborationist shit MISTRESS!" A kick in the groin - "LOUDER!" "I'M A FILTHY PIECE OF COLLABORATIONIST SHIT, MISTRESS!" Holodeck-Kira then said, "Well, that covers your punishment for being a collaborator, now this is because you cheat your customers!" she said as she walked over to the wall and picked up a shockrod of Klingon design, activated it, and poised it right under Quark's genitals ... * * * * * * * * * * * * * Security Chief Odo was also keeping unusually late hours this night - he couldn't get to sleep. Normally he would have had his computer bug Quark's phone calls and replay them for him in the morning, but tonight he couldn't sleep because he wanted to find out how the bugs in the holosuites he had had planted were working. Of course, Odo couldn't use the holosuites himself -- he wouldn't set one foot in Quark's establishment other than to deliver a threat or good news (Odo's definition of good news -- something that would get Quark upset, scared, and hopefully both). So Odo bribed Quark's nephew Nog to plant the bugs -- all it took was a single strip of latinum. It was easy to do, given the way Rom and Nog were treated by their brother and uncle. Odo was hoping that his bug would catch Quark renting an adult holosuite program to Jake Sisko -- an act which he had been warned about, and which hopefully would inspire Commander Sisko to kick Quark off the station. But when Odo saw what Quark was doing in the holosuite, he was shocked. He was a student of the sexual behavior of the various species he had encountered on DSN, and knew about sado-masochism -- it was normative behavior for most Klingons and indulged in by a lot of Cardassians and humans -- but this ... "Major Kira Nerys," he said into his com badge. A sleepy Kira responded, "Odo! It's after 0300, this had better be good!" Odo smiled. "Believe me, it is." * * * * * * * * * * * * * Meanwhile, the session continued. After shocking Quark in the balls for cheating his customers, Holodeck-Kira grabbed Quark's head and looked in his face and said, "Where do the most sensual, desirable women in the galaxy come from?" Quark replied, "Cardassia." The truth, as far as Quark was concerned -- the tall, strong, powerful, Dominant women of Cardassia, averaging a head taller than he was, skilled in the methods of inflicting pain, were the most beautiful he had ever encountered. Holodeck-Kira grabbed Quark in the genitals "Try again!" At this time, the real Kira and Odo walked in. Real-life Kira said, "Freeze program!" Unexpectedly, Quark turned and looked to see the real Kira and Odo glaring at him. "Uhh, Odo, Major Kira, what a pleasant surprise!" Quark said. Kira shouted, "I would whip your ass right now, except that it would turn you on. I'm going to do something that will hit you right in your greedy liquid helium pump that Ferengi have where everyone else has a heart." Quark buzzed with anticipation. The REAL Kira was going to be Dominant with him! The thrill of a lifetime! His eyes gleamed as Kira said, "Jadzia told me this joke she remembered a human tell Curzon. Did you hear the one about the sadist and the masochist that broke up? The masochist was yelling, "Whip me, beat me!" and the sadist said "NOOOOO!" Kira continued, "We have a tape of your sick little session in the holosuites tonight. I'm going to make a copy of it, and send it to the Grand Nagus." Quark buckled. Male domination and female subjection was as basic a part of the Ferengi Way Of Life as what they called acquisition, or what the rest of the galaxy called rapacious greed. For a Ferengi man to go into business or even take business advice from a woman was an imprisonable offence, and for a man to subject himself sexually to a Dominant Female was a capital crime "not fit to be named among the acquisative." Of course the Bajoran Provisional Government would not extradite Quark for something that was not a crime on Bajor -- a pity, Kira thought -- but he would be in exile for life and there would be no more business dealings for him which involved fellow Ferengi. "Kira, Major Kira, lovely Mistress Kira -- please, don't, have mercy on this pathetic troll..." "Quark, I'm going to hit you where you live. I'm going to let you buy this tape. The price: one thousand bars of gold pressed latinum, in the form of a contribution to the Bajoran War Orphans Fund." Kira's favorite charity, having been one herself. "Major, please, all I was having was a little fun --" "Fun? Quark, you're sick. One thousand bars of gold pressed latinum. The offer is open for another five seconds. Four. Three. Two. On--" "OK, Major!" Quark opened his pocket, took the credit voucher device he carried everywhere, and transferred 1000 bars of gold pressed latinum, backed by the assets into his vault, to the Bajoran War Orphans Fund, and printed it out and gave it to Kira. She had succeeded -- she had hit him where he lived. A thousand bars of gold pressed latinum! As Kira turned to walk away, she looked at the frozen holodeck version of herself. "She is right," real Kira said. "You are a collaborationist, a cheat -- and a sneaky little troll."