Have you ever been stimulated by a machine? I found a pneumatic drill vibrated at quite an interesting frequency. Some people say they get turned on in trains. Do you find any machines arousing? Do you have any stories to tell about such encounters? * Peter * Peter, Very interesting topic! A former roommate of mine once told me that he would never have hit it off with his wife if it hadn't been for his MOTORCYCLE. He claimed that when they first met, she liked him only for his bike. Supposedly, she found the motorcycle's vibrations to be very (sexually) stimulating. To this day, I can't help but smile when I see them va-room-ing down the road. Also, the enema-erotics among us have been using machines for years to get their kicks. While the standard enema/douche bag may not be a machine, there have been a number of ENEMA-LIKE MACHINES invented over the years including the colonic irrigator, Equisier's spring-operated apparatus, Juke's apparatus, the mechanical enema table, and the JBL Cascade Internal Bath. While most of these are now antiquated, I have no doubts that all are still in use somewhere. *****kevin**** Dear Kevin: I used to a ride a motorcycle and although I did get kicks out of it they weren't of the erotic variety. However I did have serveral lady friends who enjoyed riding on it - perhaps now I know why! I have also been told by several women that they can get turned on by the vibrations in buses and trains. This seems to apply particularly to women. Comments anyone? Best wishes... Peter Dear Peter, *vBrrrrRRRRatorz!* ...Bruce Dear Peter: I remember taking a train trip from Boston to New York once, and, um... I had a GREAT time!! I remember the feelings being quite enjoyable. Now, I ride the commuter train every day, but it is no big deal. Guess Chicago & Northwestern keeps their tracks in better shape than whatever that line was. Ah darn! Hugs, Lynn I think the trouble started when they went to continuous welded rail. Perhaps they lost half their passengers along with the bumpety-bumpety-bumps! Dear Peter: Maybe so. I do miss the good old days! Huggs, Lynn Dear Lynn There are, of course, some old lines still in operation. Do any other machines have a similar effect for you? Huggs ... Peter Dear Peter: Well, sure, the ones that are manufactured for that purpose . There is something else though. I am a musician and I play the viola. In my section, if I sit towards the back and on the inside, sometimes I end up sitting next to the contrabassoon. Now, there's an experience. I don't know if you ever heard one of those, but it is the lowest instrument in the orchestra, and the vibrations are very slow compared to any other instruments. You can feel it in your chair sometimes when you sit next to one. You never know in this world, do you? Huggs, Lynn Hmmmm ... I wonder what Gerard Hoffnung would have made of that one? . Dear Peter: Well, do you think violas are sexy? Huggs, Lynn It depends who's playing them, Lynn! Huggs .. Peter I've read a story of a woman who discovered that her washing machine was a great source of stimulation claimed to 'ride the corner of the machine' and as it shifted from wash to spin, she really got off on it. I've found that as my orbital sander and small, palm sander, would have great potential as vibrators but have yet to use them for it. I also think that the router is a generator of 'good vibrations' but aren't we getting into a very dangerous area here? Orgasms from power equipment would surely be frowned on by OSHA! Lynn, I prefer the cello but I'll pay more attention to the viola henceforth! This might need referral to one of Howard & Martha's experts, but as talk here about good vibrations, I want to add that there are some rules that I think are valid: 1) Mechanical vibrators, etc should not be used on breasts as the connective tissues are very delicate. Perhaps an application, conservative of course, to the nipples would cause no harm. 2) As with all other activities, any part that is placed within the rectum/ anus, should be nearly sterilized before insertion into any other area. Normal bacterial flora in the colon can be deadly when introduced into other body areas. 3) Vibrators are like training wheels. They have their use, they're great fun, but you can't come to rely on them as they in no way match the capabilities of any human partner. Wish I could just plug myself in and go for hours! Dear Jim Does that mean that washing machines will now be delivered in plain brown delivery trucks? Perhaps the weekly wash can be fun after all! How about the Launderette as a place to take a date? It's supposed to be a good pick-up place! Perhaps now we know why! Best wishes .... Peter Well Peter, I think we need to down-size them a bit too. I suggested to my wife that she might enjoy the spin cycle but she demonstrated that she is 4" too short! Surely you could improvize in some way. Couldn't she stand on the laundry basket or something? It could make all the difference. If it becomes too much fun, she'll never come up and all of our clothes will be tattered from excessive wash & spin. I am thinking about introducing the top of my hand whilst holding the Black & Decker (B&D!) Palm Finshing Sander. Whe I do cabinet work with this thing my hand is numb afterwards. A report will follow, if this takes place! Well, don't any of the women here have any favorites?? If that fails, get a pneumatic drill. If you can stand the noise, it certainly vibrates enough, as I can state from personal experience. Black and Decker can't compare with a full sized compressor and a concrete busting hammer. (No, no JAP jokes at this stage, please!) My favorite is still the shower massage. It leaves room for any number of alternatives. Dear Kathy I know that shower massages are very popular. There's a design of shower that offers all-round pulsating jets of water that must be a lot of fun. Do you enjoy jacuzzis? I've had mixed reports of their erotic potential. Peter Peter: I LOVE jacuzzis, especially when there aren't a lot of children running around the complex. I may be an exhibitionist, but even I have my limits. I hadn't heard about the all-round pulser jets, but Mr. W. says he has. Surprise, surprise, I learn something new about my new husband everyday! Kathy I once baptised 47 naked people in a jacuzzi once. Also did a marriage, sang a hymm or two, and a burial at sea. A dead bottle of Jack Danials as i recall. course i wasnt too sober at the time, but when I woke up the next morning (with not one, but 2 women I didnt know!) I was cluching a damp hotel Bible and a world class hangover. Arent engineering conventions fun??? The night wasnt much in the way of erotic, but it sure made a good war story. Art How did you end up with *two* women at an *engineering* convention? That sounds plain greedy to me, considering the ratio of male to female engineers! That is what I never could figure out either! The real problem comes when I try to remember if I did anything with them. For the life of me I simply cant recall. The opportunity of a lifetime and I sleep through it! SIGH!!!!! Art My wife wants to experiment with a vibrator. She's trying hard to overcome negative feelings and inhibitions, the few that she has left, but she doesn't think that she's ready to go buy one herself. So . . . what *I* need to know is what kind to get her? Anyone have any advice on brands, models, features or anything like that? Thanks in advance. . . Richard T. Dear Richard You may like to look at the file VIBRAT.THR in DL8. There is some discussion there. It is generally considered that battery versions are to be avoided. The mains ones are very popular. There is a more powerful feel to the vibration. Good Vibrations (see the DL for the address) is a store specializing in vibrators. They recommend the Hitachi Magic Wand. It is rather large and a little bit noisy, but very effective. They also offer a range of attachments, not made by Hitachi but compatible. There is another type that is much smaller and quieter. By the way, don't assume its just for your wife! You too can enjoy a vibrator. I found the Hitachi to be very effective: I didn't like the smaller type so much. One thing I found to be very intense was to have the vibrator applied while wearing a rubber. The rubber seemed to spread the vibration around in some way. The Hitachi is also powerful enough to be effective even through clothing, and that too can help to spread the vibration. Best wishes ..... Peter Don't get one shaped like a penis. Get a regular vibrator with all the attatchments. She will love it.....as will you! Thanks for the advice. Everyone seems to think the Hitachi Magic Wand is *it*. Since I live in Canada, I hope I canfdind one--with all the attachments. Perhaps i can order one from California, but sometimes exporters can be a little sktish about exporting things like that. . . Richard T. You can probably find the Hitachi in a departments store. The attachments you could probably order separately from Good Vibrations. I didn't know they made attachments for the magic wand. Who'd have thought they could improve on perfection. Buzzing along, Kathy Actually I'vealready ordered the Magic Wand and one attachment over the phone from Good Vibrations. The lady wanted to know if there was anything else I wanted. I had to answer that there might be, but that I didn't know what there was to want. Can hardly wait to see the catalog! . . Richard Perfection, eh? My wife is apparently in for a treat. Maybe I should be jealous . . . Richard T. Do let us know the results! Oh Richard, please don't be. My husband tells me that it's delightful for him, too. Just try it, for both of you. (smile) Kathy