HANGUPS Jack Sprat "You've got to learn to get rid of your hang-ups," Bill said. Bill and I had just returned from a movie. We were sitting outside my house in his car talking. I had cultivated Bill's friendship. I knew he was gay. I don't know where in the hell I stood. I'm eighteen years old and never had sex with anything but my hand. I've always felt more relaxed around men and thought I would be more inclined to first try it with another male. I've had fantasys about doing it with a female, but communication with girls has not been my forte. I've dated them only to find out they tease, get the giggles, put you down and take every advantage of you that they can. I feared a girl might cruely humiliate me and I don't know how I would ever get over it. This was why I was in heavy conversation with Bill. I was revealing to him my many hangups. " I want sex, but I am so self conscious about my body. I even hate to shower at school. You've probably seen me hurriedly towel off and dress, withdrawn, and not talking to anyone. I just don't feel comfortable with anyone seeing me naked. "Yeah," Bill quietly replied. "Shame, guilt, self-conscious and embarrassed." I nodded. "When I was fourteen, I was caught jacking off by my Dad and got a severe scolding. He told my Mom too. They told me it was shame-shame to even erotically feel myself. My Dad said that if he caught me doing it again, he would take me to the doctor for a circumcision. That's how boys were punished for masturbating. They got circumcised. If this happens, they find it very uncomfortable to masturbate without a foreskin. In the gym, I actually thought that all circumcised men had been caught doing things and had been punished by being cut." "I can see why you have hangups," replied Bill. "But you know that circumcision is not for punishment." "Yes", I replied, "But it still did its psychological damage. Dammit! I was taught that I would do nothing to my own body or mess around with anyone else. It was dirty and sinful. But told, after marriage, a beautiful sexual relationship with my spouse would keep us happy for ever." "Shit!", Bill replied. I nodded in agreement. "But it still made me so uptight that I haven't had sex with anyone. My body is screaming for relief. I still don't know if I can handle it, even if I try it with a male." "You've got to get over these negative feelings," Bill replied. "You're missing out on life. There's no reason you can't take care of your sexual needs without guilt. Do you realize that everyone is a sexual person? Nature made it that we all have sexual desires. Religion came along and screwed everything up. Yeah! A lot of people have hangups. Those who don't get over them can be miserable." Bill moved next to me and put his arm around me. I froze. Bill sensed my frigitity. "Boy! You ARE uptight!." Bill said this in a kindly, understanding manner. "I'll tell you what, I'm not a shrink," he said, "But I think I can work with you and help you over this. I'll be real patient, and if you feel I am going too fast, tell me, and I will back off. Do you want to give it a try?" "Please, Bill. I need help." I didn't feel comfortable as Bill stroked my hair and hugged me. He pressed his mouth against my tight lips which I would not open. Bill pulled back, then gently traced his finger over my closed lips. "You've never kissed?" "No." "Do you want to learn?" "Yes!" "Just open your mouth to where it is comfortable, relax, and let me do the rest." I felt Bill's tongue move about my outer lips then move into my mouth. I was squeezed tighter while his tongue entered deeper, exploring all about. There was something about the warmth of his body pressed against mine and his tongue movement that made me start to kiss him back. I became erect. Bill moved his hand down to my crotch, pushed down, and stroked. Through my pants, he gently squeezed my peter from bottom to top checking its size. I knew I couldn't let him take it out. I was too apprehensive and uptight "That's enough for tonight," Bill said softly. "Do you like it so far." "I'm not sure," I replied, but in a way, it did feel good. I left the car erect, hot, and bothered. I went right to bed and masturbated until I passed my last drop of sperm. Fantasies ran through my head. If I could only let things happen. Maybe next time I would relax and let Bill do more. In the meantime, it was real safe if I just jacked myself off. # The next night, sitting in Bills' car, I was more receptive to his kisses. I found myself exploring his mouth with my tongue. I hugged him as we kissed. Bill's hand again ran down to my burning crotch and rubbed my throbbing bulge through my pants. I kind of froze but didn't say "no" as my belt was tugged and flipped open. My top button was unsnapped, my zipper pulled down. My shame and modesty wanted me to tell ask him to stop, but the intense feel of passion overcame my negative thoughts. I gave a start as his hand slipped under the wasteband of my briefs and gently gripped me. I momentarily grabbed his wrist, but after his few strokes I relaxed. His slow exploration was causing an undescribable exotic feeling that made me crave more. I raised my butt so my pants and shorts could be slipped down further. Bill's spittled finger fully explored my whole tip, turning to fire all of the sensuous nerves that my penis held. My penis throbbed, my cum moved upwards from deep within. With gigantic spasms I came in large spurts, hitting my face, my shirt, as well as the ceiling of Bill's car, and partially dripped back down. I was embarrassed by the mess and the damp spots on my clothes. "Don't worry," Bill reassured me. "How was it?" I replied with a with a pleasant moan, also happy that I had actually allowed someone to do it to me. Bill moved my hand to his crotch and closed my fingers around his exposed stiff cock. I grasped his warm, hard, throbbing penis but wasn't really sure what to do. "I don't know how," I muttered. Bill told me to just feel it, explore it, and pump it. Also to rub my spit on its tip, just as he had done to me. I did. It was fun and different to feel and fondle his balls. After a bit, with my jacking and fondling, Bill started to moan and wiggle. His jism shot out covering the both of us. We cleaned ourselves up then hugged and kissed for a long time. Bill asked me if everything had been O.K. He hoped I was getting more pleasure with less trauma. "It feels good," I replied. "But I still have a lot to deal with." "You want to be shown more?" Bill asked. "Yes, Bill." I want you to teach me me everything. I'll do my best to try to handle it." # I was becoming more relaxed and looking forward to more of Bill's teachings. I trusted Bill and appreciated his patience. I thought I'd never be able to let any one play in my crotch, but it was O.K. when Bill did it. I was also getting more comfortable playing with Bill, feeling him and jacking him off. Bill really appreciated this. The three day Labor Day holiday was approaching. Bill suggested we go to Lake Tahoe and take a room where he would show me more. He said that I would be very knowledgable when we returned and he thought my final hangups would be gone. I would, however, have to agree to let him show me everything if I wanted to reach a final breakthrough. I wasn't exactly sure what he had in mind. I had mild apprehensions of being alone with him for several days. However, he had been an understanding friend and teacher so far. I agreed to make the trip. # It was a nice drive to the lake. Bill had reserved a room with a lake view. The room had one double bed. As soon as the door was closed and our suitcases unpacked, Bill said that we should shower. I started to undress and also saw that Bill was removing his clothes. "Oh! You're going to shower first?" "No," Bill replied. We are going to shower together. I'd never seen Bill completely nude before. He was smooth, slim, cut, and had a nice shaped tight butt. I became semi-erect. Bill saw my erection but temporarily ignored it. I stood under the shower as he washed my hair, my neck, my shoulders and back. Finishing, he soaped his hands real good and reached for my crotch. My balls rolled through his slippery fingers, sliding with the soapy lubricant. He gently slipped back my foreskin and softly washed away the bits of smegma that had formed under my tip. He had me turn around, spread my legs and lean against the shower wall. His warm soapy hand delved into my crack, moving up and down as he cleansed me. A finger pressed against my asshole, gently washing its topside. He moved to my outer butt, washing each cheek then kneeded both. I'd never let Bill mess around with my butt before. This felt real good. We stepped from the shower. Bill asked me to dry him off. He got erect as I toweled his crotch and ass. I got erect too. Then it was his turn to dry me. He carefully and slowly ran the towel up and down my hard dick, then over each ball. He had me turn around and dug deeply into my crack, pushing against my asshole to make sure all the water was removed. "Now, we'll go to the other room," said Bill. I want you to lay on the bed and present yourself. "Present myself?" I didn't know what was wanted but I lay naked and submissively on the bed, drawing my legs up, spreading them wide. Bill sat besides me, fondled and jacked me, then slipped my penis into his mouth. This was the first time I'd had my cock sucked. The sensation was wild. Bill moved to a 69 position. His hard red-tipped cock was right at my face. "Will you suck me?," Bill asked. I slipped his tip into my mouth then slid it back so I could feel it deeper in my throat. I found his cock pleasant and satisfying. I kept licking, sucking and jacking. The finale was when his warm sperm filled my mouth. I rolled it about, savoring its taste, then swallowed it which gave me a sense of love and satisfaction. Both spent, we snuggled our naked bodies against one another and napped. # When I awoke, I was hard again. I wanted more. Bill stirred. I put my leg over his, then took his had and guided it downward. Again, I experienced complete ecstasy as Bill fondled me. I wanted this feeling forever. I never wanted to say no. Bill turned me over and had me get up on all fours. He had me pull my legs up as far as possible and to spread as wide as possible and to crouch as low as possible. This left my butt fully exposed for easy access to whatever what was going to happen. I felt a bit embarrassed in this position, feeling Bill's staring inspection of my asshole and dangling balls. It was exciting and erotic too. My balls were gently grasped and pulled downward. I wasn't ready for what happened next. Bill tugged my balls while he licked my asshole. This drove me bananas. I clawed the sheets. He licked for a real long time, jacking my prick with his other hand. I emitted a startled erotic gasp as my body spasmed with most intense pleasure as my sperm spotted the bed sheets. I wanted to drop down to prone position and rest, but Bill told me to stay as I was, my butt and asshole still staring him in the face. Bill opened a jar of vaseline. Swishing his finger around, he pulled out a large glob. His greased finger started to move up my asshole. His first knuckle passed, then his second. His finger was all the way in and tickling around. It started to rub over an area that made me want to piss and come at the same time. I could only stand so much of this. It was too intense. Clear fluid had dripped from my dick. Bill said this was prostate fluid and it was my prostate that made me go bonkers, then Bill continued his work. My asshole was stretched wider. Two fingers had been lubed and were slowly twisting up me. After they moved about for awhile, Bill asked me if I could tighten down. I tried to clamp my asshole but nothing happened. My asshole was fully relaxed and limp. I could no longer flex. Bill removed his fingers and pushed his prick against my asshole. I knew I was going to get butt fucked. My already limp asshole stretched even wider as his prick squeezed in.. It hurt a little, but not so much that I had to ask him to stop. It kept sliding until I felt crotch hairs rubbing my butt cheeks. Slow stroking followed, moving all of the way in, then pulling all of the way out, again pressing open my asshole muscles for full re- entry. Feeling a prick slip against my muscle walls, then stuffing me as it delved deeper, was really a turn on. It was a big finale when Bill started to cum and rammed his large hot piston rapidly back and forth, my butt stinging from his pelvis slaps. When everything was over, I was really spent and relaxed with a very satisfied feeling that I'd never experienced. . The next morning, Bill said we would review all we had done, plus a little more. This day, along with everything else, I licked Bill's asshole and fucked his butt until I was exhausted. Driving back to San Francisco, I snuggled to Bill all of the way. I felt reborn. I now understood the full meaning and feeling of sex. On this trip I had lost my virginity and now felt fulfilled. My hangups were gone. I knew that I could now find a male lover and live happily ever after. The End