THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE FOR FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES The ruling passion, be it what it will, the ruling passion conquers reason still. --- Alexander Pope Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie. --- Shakespeare Passion often makes a madman of the cleverest man, and renders the greatest fools clever. --- La Rouchefoucauld She weaves the winding-sheets of souls, and lays them in the urn of everlasting death. --- Pollok ---------------------------------------------------------------------- This guide should not be used by anyone that the GM feels is either to young, to immature, or not a good enough role-player to handle the topics presented here. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- COPYRIGHT (C) 1996 All trademarks of products, company names, logos, phrases, service names, and/or slogans are trademarks of the respective companies, artists, and/or individuals, where applicable. The following guide is the property of its authors, who hereby states that they retain the copyright except for where noted. You may distribute it at will, provided that nothing in the guide, this notice, or any of the credits are altered in any way; and that you do not make a profit from it. This document is not for sale and is made available for private game use only. *** DISCLAIMER *** All contents of this guide are presented for game purposes only. Advice oriented information is not to be taken as legal consultation or legal service, but as suggestions and examples of real-world or hypothetical models. Always consult a lawyer for legal and lawful guidance. The opinions and views contained in this guide reflect those of the individual authors. The opinions, content, and organization of this document are in no way connected with the faculty and staff of any educational institute where this guide was found. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TABLE OF CONTENTS Initial Reactions To This Guide Preface Guide Game Mechanics The Wild-Thing Rules Inter-Species Fertility Conception: What are the odds? Pregnancy In A RPG? When Does The Stork Come? Spells For The Mother Fetal Alcohol Syndrome On The Subject Of A Shapechanging Mother And Child The Baby is Here! What Ya' Got? Sexual Tendency The Bitch Rule The Rack Critical Hit Chart: For Men Only Seduction: More Than Reaction Rolls Seduction For The Professional Non-Weapon Skills Sexualis Morbus (Sexual Diseases) Sexual Insanity? On Sex And Sexuality In The Realms Spells With Zip Clerics Would Use These Spells? A Bard's Sexual Spell-Songs Sexual Psionic Powers Magic Items Your Mom Wouldn't Approve Of Cupid's Chaotic Arrows Protection Of The Worst Kind (For The Male) Houri: Wizard Sub-Class Seducer: Wizard Sub-Class Seductress: Rogue Sub-Class Psiducer: Psionicist Sub-Class "I'm Just A Gigolo..." Gigolo: Bard Sub-Class Getting To Know A Prostitute (Random Generator) Filling The House Of Ill Repute Case: The Blue Tavern (Entertainment And Pleasure) Encounter Non-Player Characters Porno Periodicals Of Humanoids Sexist Quotes Other Tidbits An Abyss Level Adventuring Ideas ESSAY: What If A Character Rapes A NPC? ESSAY: Has Anyone Played A Homosexual Character? Plots For Homosexual Characters A Few Good Stories Special Thanks The INTERET Controversy Of The Guide LAST UPDATE: 01/01/96 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- INITIAL REACTIONS TO THIS GUIDE "I think that saying 'my campaign has no place for sex because my players satisfy their sexual needs elsewhere' is roughly the same as boasting that your campaign has no place for the green color, because when your players want to see green, they go and look at your petunias. Our lives and our characters' lives are different things altogether." --- Luwain "The sex guide is interesting to say the least." "...it's a pretty handy guide to have really." --- Matt "The people in my group love the guide!!!" "Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a wight lich !!!" --- Larry "...let me intrude to tell you that my wife and I really like what you have come up with." "We both have rather chaotic sensual souls as characters." --- Morgan Blackheart "It certainly has some interesting ideas in there." "My friend, who is GM'ing this rather, umm, slutty city, has made good usage from it..." --- Steve "There where nice ideas." "Great Idea & Fun!" "...it looks GREAT !!!" "It looks good & Fun." --- Vinnie "Well, I've read over the pages and it looks GREAT!" --- Mike "It takes perversion to a higher level." --- Brian "I...found it quite enjoyable and reasonable for application to RPGs." "The guide is really good -- I am very impressed with the work..." --- Jason "I have looked it over gleefully..." --- Lonadar "It looks great! We've been pondering the problems of pregnancy...It looks as if your manual will take care of that and lots lots lots more." --- Lisamarie Babik "I also wanted to tell you that your compilation of sex in RPG rules was hilariously funny and extremely FUN." --- Adam "...really wild! I really enjoyed the humor and couldn't resist in printing a copy for myself." "The sex guide did have its moments..." "I am looking forward in hearing from you again." --- The Mage (Nancy) "Reading your guide was real fun and I think using it will be even more fun." --- Mike "I enjoyed your guide, and it will certainly add some spice to my next campaign." --- Mike W. "I just wanted to commend you for the guide... It was great... the imagination of everyone involved was excellent." --- J.J. "Fascinating guide you have here." "You and others have obviously spent a lot of time and effort bringing it to its present incarnation." "I am most impressed, and can't wait to pore over it in more detail." --- Corwin "Interesting and amusing." --- David "I found it really amusing, and while I'm not sure if I will use its materials in my games I find it is really inspiring..." --- Roberto Di Meglio "Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I just looked over the Sex Guide and I must say: FANTASTIC!!! GREAT!!! SUPERB!!!!" --- Alexander "Excellent work, and thorough." --- Scott "I read you guide... Its very good!!! Thanks a lot." --- Carlos "Thank you very much! From the short look I had at the guide just now it looks good and useful. Always nice to see something both amusing and functional." --- Rhonda "...by the way I am greatly impressed -- it will help out with my GMing immensely." --- Sasha "I just wanted to write and tell you I loved it..." "It was amazing." "I didn't realize how much you could actually put into SEX in RPGs." "I plan to be starting an RPG world soon, and I hope to use it." "Thank you very much, and once again, I think you have done a marvelous job!" --- James "Most Excellent!" --- Joe "I really really enjoy the guide to sex!" "I think it is the funniest thing I have read in a long time." "Bravo, good job, two thumbs up." --- Thomas Forlorn "I enjoyed the Guide to Sex. It was worth many a hearty guffaw." --- Robin "You did an excellent job on it." --- Rich "I found the Sex Guide rather humorous." "I don't know if my GM is going to use it but I might find some of the stuff useful, if not entertaining for other players." --- Eric "I appreciate you work and thank you for it." "I use a German role-playing system here. So of course I have to redo the game-specific things. However, this document is a great collection of ideas and I'm going to use a lot of it." --- Donald "I wrote to say THANKS A LOT FOR WRITING/COMPILING/EDITING the guide." "...it's just wonderful, funny to read, useful and well written." "Again, thanks a lot for the guide... just GREAT." --- Jarmas "Thank you for the info in the Sex Guide. It has already proved helpful, because of the pregnancy of one of the elves, the rest of the female characters are mellowing out on the drinking/sex everytime we enter a town. The males are also chilling out, I think they know that they are running a chance for disease now." --- Arden "The Complete Guide to Sex has become my GM's guide." --- Callen "I got the Sex Guide, a friend sent me a copy. I shrugged it off as perverted :) But then scanned through it anyway. My apologies, it is not at all what I expected!" "I am taking my PC's through the realms for a while, then plan to whisk them off to Raven for a laugh. You have given me some great ideas to throw at my poor PC's :)" --- Deanna "I must say that your guide is great! When I showed it to my players they loved it so much that we will start an adventure inspired by it." --- Roberto "This is very interesting and funny to relax with in a game! But all my party wants to know when you will complete them!!" --- The Unnamed "I've been reading your wonderful Guide to Sex, and I found it great!" --- Javier "It was so excellent I had to take it home to read because I would of interrupted the whole computer center with my laughter. My group also loves it, we intend to play a modified game using your rules." --- Fred "I just wanted to say that your book is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen written for RPGs." --- Stephen "It started out as a small simple project, but it splooged into a massive document of infinite knowledge." "Who'd a thought anybody would show an interest." --- Guide Creator ----------------------------------------------------------------------- PREFACE Most everybody has had a character come in contact with a person of the opposite sex, but the encounter was nothing more than the brief statement: "I'll have sex with the fair lass and leave". This leaves out a lot of exciting role playing that can turn into a lot of humorous anecdotes. What if one of the involved people can't "perform"? What about getting a disease? Getting pregnant? Spells? Magic-Items? Classes? But where could a player find a could source of information? On a RPG discussion list (an electronic mail forum for RPGs), a person posted rules for characters to have sex. I though that this was quite clever and a little demented. Well, just having a few sex rules didn't seem to useful except for its comic appeal so I made some diseases and insanities to make it more interesting. I thought I had a pretty nice guide so I requested some help on the list for people to look it over. Well, this caused quite a stir and I realized that the guide was very incomplete as suggestions for more sections started pouring in. Well, over a few months ideas, comments, criticisms, and additions kept coming. I even established a small mailing list to correspond to these people. By far the best thing to come out of this guide was the useful information on pregnancy which was much needed for most RPGs. I saw some successful guides created by another list member, so I asked if I could mimic his organizational style and other key elements like the title, copyright, preface, quoting, etc.. We are both hoping that this style will be used in other works to bring some type of unity to all net-guides. Eventually, this final product was reached. This guide will add a new and often times funny dimension to any campaign. The key is funny. One objective was to try and keep it light and fun. Although some things may be considered perverse, it was created in an jocular fashion. The intent isn't to offend or disgust it is only to enhance the game. This guide is so extensive that there should be something for everybody. And if not, then you can just throw it away (it's not like you had to pay for it or something). I'm sure that companies have plans to publish there own guide . For the most part, the information enclosed will have been play-tested and in a workable form. In others, you may have to make further adjustments to fit the ideas into your campaign. This material is the fruit of labor from a few great people of the Internet. Although some material is my own, it is not all my own. Most of the material was submitted from others, and I merely edited it. Also, many people inspired much of the guide. Plus, they made a considerable amount of suggestions, comments, and criticisms. Acknowledgment to these people is given in the Special Thanks section of this guide. I prefer that this guide is not mass distributed. This is a very extensive supplement that few deserve. Most criticized, mocked, and scorned me and my comrades while creating it. Only people who are helpful, creative, and appreciative deserve to view this guide. Therefore, be wise and selective when distributing it and don't give it to every Tom, Dick, and Conan. For those that do receive this guide, I ask that the material is unchanged. Of course I can't really stop anybody from doing what they want. I just ask that you respect those who made this guide possible because I'm sure that they will continue to make great material for RPGs. The Guide Creator P.S. Much criticism has been aimed at this guide because of its topics. Some feel that characters are forced to roll instead of role-play. Some feel that its contradictory to increase role-playing by adding more tables. I don't think that some rules hamper role-playing. A lot of players don't like bad things to happen to their characters and will prevent these things to happen. Having the rules allows the GM to ensure that the character suffers, but fairly. Of course the player must still role-play, but now he will know what abilities are effected. On the same note, I find that tables give the characters something to work with instead of just saying something is happening. The character still must role-play. It just helps to give the players some direction. Being free to let a character do anything in the name of role-playing isn't right. RPGs have many rules and to criticize rules that others make isn't fair. Why not criticize the combat system, spell casting, and such? You could say that the limitations put on spells hampers role-playing. Why not let characters flourish with dramatic spell-use that isn't encumbered with rules? My point is that some rules are to much, but using certain ones that you like at the right time will enhance role-playing by giving players something to work with. However, I do feel that some rules are encumbersome. I didn't care for the sex rules in this guide and haven't used them, but some people do and that is fine. The conception rules I feel are useful because characters find out if they are pregnant randomly (for females) without the GM deciding. Because when the GM decides, the character assumes (with good reason) that the pregnancy occurred for some dastardly plot reason. There are many types of players around, some like rules others don't. I just put everything in my guides based on what people ask for. I don't limit the guide to just what I want. I just don't use what I like. I make available what people want and suggest. I would like to quote a friend, Morgan, who seems to say it all about people's complaints: "I think all those that complain that guides are too strict or difficult to roll are a wee too steeped in the judicial side of the game, i.e. following the rules to the letter. I suppose someone ought to mention that what you're doing is creating guides for those who want to have a bit more realism in certain situations, not creating rules that MUST be played. In general, I've found a lot of useful ideas contained in your guides which can be used or abused to make my games more enjoyable. Thanks for collecting all of this stuff." GUIDE GAME MECHANICS The rules presented are intended for any RPG. Because of the variance between games, the mechanics used in this guide are explained here. The guide uses eight attributes for a character. These attributes are as followed: Physical Strength - physical power. Intelligence - knowledge and wit. Wisdom - judgement and common sense. Constitution - heartiness and "spirit". Charisma - allure, charm, and leadership. Dexterity - prowess and quickness. Luck - fortune and fate. Attractiveness - comeliness and physical looks. Number references to attributes use the 3 to 18 scale which is common among RPGs. Some RPGs use a percentile scale for attributes, if this is desired merely multiple the number listed by 5.56 to get the percentage. Most systems have some system for characters to get out or save themselves from dangerous situations. Systems vary but the following categories are used here: paralyzation, poison, death magic, demon/deity power and other really nasty stuff. rod, staff, wand, and other powerful magic-items (no artifacts). petrifaction, polymorph, and other magics that severely alter the body. breath weapon and other powerful natural attacks. spells, and other common magical effects. Spell levels are only provide as a measure for the spells in this guide. The spell levels don't represent spell levels of any given RPG system. Compare the power of the spells presented in this guide with the level of spells in your game system and adjust the level accordingly. A sub-class is a standard class that provides more specific detail. The sub-class sections have the following info: Introduction/Description/Role - Information. Qualifications - Requirements. Specialty - Another name for the class. Preferred Schools/Barred Schools - For clerics and mages, these are the magic schools. There are a variety of schools in many systems so the most popular ones are used here. Schools are necromancy, alteration, enchantment, invocation, evocation, conjuring/summoning/thaumaturgy, illusion, deviation, abjuration. Chosen Disciplines/Sciences/Devotions - Most psionics in RPGs are broken down into a hierarchy of powers. In this guide devotions are the powers at the bottom. Secondary Skills - Other abilities. Weapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for weapons. Nonweapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for non-weapon abilities. Equipment - Suggested and banned equipment. Special Benefits/Special Hindrances - The mechanics that make the sub-class. Wealth Options - Monetary information. Races - Races allowed. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- THE WILD-THING RULES (There's one in every bunch!) NOTE: These rules are not necessarily suppose to be taking seriously. If anything, they are provided for your amusement. It seems people will make rules for anything. Before throwing this guide a way because of this section, you might want to read the whole guide and then only throw out sections like this one. And if you keep sections like this one, you may want to seek counseling :) There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he/she wants to engage in the act of sex. Unfortunately, most RPG rule books avoid the subject for obvious reasons. A player rolls dice from pottery to dancing, so why not sex. At first glance, it may seem that a character can have sex for quite a long time. This is true for player characters. They have superior attributes and thus can perform better (that's why they're great adventurers). However, an average character would have attributes between 9-12. Using the below rules, an average character (10 or 11 in all attributes) could go a minimum of 10 or 11 minutes (rounds) and might be able to go an additional 10 or 11 minutes if very, very luck (dice deities willing, but don't bet on it). Some GMs may feel that certain races should be more adept at sex than others. Many arguments can be made for every race. The one race that most people feel should have modifiers is the dwarf race. However, since theses rules are based on constitution and since initial character generation gives bonus or penalties to Constitution (dwarves get +1), it is not necessary to give additional modifiers to race. The following is the steps to go through to see if a character can continue having sex: 1) A character can initially last a minimum of rounds equal to his/her Constitution with certain modifiers. Table 1 lists modifiers to Constitution by dexterity (remember: it's how you use it). Table 2 lists modifiers to Constitution by strength (gotta be able to keep up). Table 3 lists modifiers to Constitution by the partner's Charisma (charismatic partners really enhance sex, even if their Attractiveness isn't high). If he/she wishes to continue, then he/she must make Constitution checks (Step 2). 2) After the initial rounds pass, the character must make a Constitution check for each round he/she wishes to continue. Modifiers to this check are from Table 1 and Table 2 And Table 3, plus cumulative modifier of -1. The character also needs to make a time to climax (TTC) check. A 1 on a 1d6 for males and a 1 on a 1d10 for women indicates such an occurrence. An additional TTC roll is made and a result of 1 indicates multiple orgasms (keep rolling while 1s come up). Of course, males could have trouble continuing after this, but the player can make such decisions. 3) A failed check means the character lost interest for whatever reason. NOTE: In most cases it take two to tango, so remember to keep track of all participates. Table 1: Dexterity Modifier A. Score Modifier 03-05 -4 <-- not much fun 06-08 -2 09-12 0 13-15 +2 16-18 +4 <-- someone could get hurt Table 2: Strength Modifier A. Score Modifier 03-05 -4 <-- wears out easily 06-08 -2 09-12 0 13-15 +2 16-18 +4 <-- nasty Table 3: Partner's Charisma Modifier A. Score Modifier 03-05 -4 06-08 -2 09-12 0 13-15 +2 16-18 +4 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- INTER-SPECIES FERTILITY Amongst races, there are four varying breeding relationships listed in Table A. TABLE A: Relationships Relationship Example Identical human vs. human Similar human vs. elf, human vs. halfling Related human/horse vs. centaur, human/elf vs. half-elf Different human vs. eagle, human vs. horse Whether or not two individuals can produce offspring depends on the relationship and conditions given in Table B. TABLE B: Relationships Based on Conditions Relationship: Identical Additional Requir.: None Chance of Fertility: As normal Result: As per race Relationship: Similar Additional Requir.: None Chance of Fertility: As the lesser fertile of the two races Result: Half breed Relationship: Related Additional Requir.: None Chance of Fertility: As the lesser fertile of the two races Result: Produce pure breed of the race the size of the female (see below) Relationship: Different Additional Requir.: Magical or divine intervention Chance of Fertility: 0% (without intervention) or 100% (with) Result: Produce a new race that may be fertile and breed true Size (of the creature you filthy minded churl) may play a part in some crossbreeds. For example, in human/horse/centaur pairings. The result depends, in part, on the physical size of the parents. Consult Table C. TABLE C: Size Relationship Race of Father Race of Mother Race of child Similar Human (Elf) Elf (Human) Half-elf Related Human (Half-elf) Half-elf (Human) Human or Half-elf Related Elf (Half-elf) Half-elf (Elf) Elf or Half-elf Different Human Horse Centaur (with interv.) Different Horse Human None (or a dead woman) Related Human (Centaur) Centaur (Human) Human Related Horse (Centaur) Centaur (Horse) Horse There is one interesting exception, humans and halflings. While they are fertile with each other, such a pairing will only produce one or the other race. This may be because they are so similar that there can be no half breed race. Consult Table Cb. TABLE Cb: Halfling-Human Size Relationship Race of Father Race of Mother Race of child Similar Human Halfling Halfling Similar Halfling Human Halfling or Human For some specific races, the relationships are given on Table D. TABLE D: Specific Races Race Relationship Examples Centaur Similar None Related Horse, Human. Different Most other races Elf Identical Elf (all varieties) Similar Human Related Drider Different Most other races Half-elf Similar None Related Elf, Human Different Most other races Human Similar Elf, Halfling, Ogre, Orc (and variations) Related Centaur, Half-elf, Half-orc, Minotaur, Satyr Different Most other races On the specific case of and elf and a centaur use the following suggested rules: - Elves and centaurs relate as "different", therefore there is no fertility without intervention. - Elves are "similar" to humans who are "related" to centaurs, but this two part relationship still translates into "different". These rules are not complete but hopefully gives the GM a good base to develop specific rules for inter-species breeding. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- CONCEPTION: WHAT ARE THE ODDS? Sure characters screw around, but it never seems like they get anybody pregnant or get pregnant themselves unless on a whim of the GM. UNTIL NOW! Below is a very simple system to make the decision fairly. To start, get the base chance for each character (Table 1) that participated in sex and add the appropriate Constitution modifiers (Table 2). Then roll percentile dice for each person. A successful roll indicates fertility. If both are fertile than conception has occurred. Of course, this assumes that both characters are of compatible race and are at age where conception can occur (GM's judgment), and it is the female's fertile time of the month. Some GM's may allow all races to reproduce offspring. Other GMs may limit which races can breed together. This decision should remain that of individual GMs, but suggestions are given in the previous section. Table 1: Base Chance Base Race Chance Dwarf 22% Elf 13% Gnome 20% Half-Elf 54% Halfling 50% Human 77% NOTE: The maximum age for each race was divided by 100. This number was divided into 100% to get the base chance (fractions rounded). This gives an accurate representation of how fertile an overall race is. If a GM wishes to add more races, all that would be needed is the maximum age of that race. Table 2: Constitution modifiers A. Score Modifier 03-05 -6% 06-08 -4% 09-10 -2% 11-12 +2% 13-15 +4% 16-18 +6% PROTECTION FROM PREGNANCY The base chance can be reduced by half if the popular technique of coitus interruptus (pulling out by the male). The male must make an ability check against (Wisdom+Dexterity)/2 where Wisdom is the willpower required to stop the fun when it gets better and Dexterity is the quickness to accomplish the mission. Only if the check is made will the chance be reduced (even if successful there is always the chance of pregnancy). Natural condoms made of various materials could be commonly used. These include condoms made with vegetable fibers or animal tissue which would be quite rare and expense (around 10 silver pieces). Such condoms would only be effective in preventing pregnancy 25% of the time. Another option would be to lower the chance of pregnancy by 75%. AGE Some may argue that age should play an important role in fertility, but age isn't represented in these rules. However, Constitution plays a role in fertility and Constitution is used here. A character's Constitution fluctuates because of age in most RPGs. Thus, age is taken into consideration because of Constitution changes due to age. To make any more modifiers would be double jeopardy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- PREGNANCY IN A RPG? ------------------- LENGTH OF PREGNANCY With mammals, gestation period is usually dependent on size. Instead of making things complicated, size is not dependant on gestation in these rules but rather maximum age. This will be explained after Table 1. Table 1 lists the length of pregnancy for each race. Also, it lists the duration of each stage of the pregnancy. The length of each stage is given as well. Half-elf pregnancies could last as long as 24 months or as little as 9 months depending on how much human or elf the unborn child is. The number given is for GMs who don't want to bother with complicated inter-racial percentages. TABLE 1: Pregnancy Total Length Duration of Race of Pregnancy Each Stage Elf 24 months 2 months 20 days Gnome 16 months 1 months 24 days Dwarf 15 months 1 months 20 days Halfling 7 months 0 months 24 days Human 9 months 1 month 0 days Half-Elf 12 months 1 months 10 days NOTE: The length of pregnancy was derived from the assumption that an elf's pregnancy lasts 24 months and that the elves life span is 750 years. 750 divided by 24 yields the number 31.25. 31.25 was then divided into the life spans of all races to get the length of pregnancy with the exception of humans. Since human pregnancy in an RPG can have real-world basis, the length is given as 9 months. 14.44 (derived from dividing 130 by 9) could have been used rather than 31.25 but the 31.25 is based on the fantasy elf race and so that number was used for the other fantasy races. GMs may alter the list as they wish. TWINS OR BETTER For those GM's who want to add a little spice to the pregnancy, Table 1b gives the chance of more than one child being born based on race. For example, a human has a 1 in 10 chance of having twins while a dwarf has a 1 in 100,000 chance of having twins. This can also be interrupted as 1 in 10 humans having twin sibling while 1 in 100,000 dwarfs have a twin sibling. These chances are only suggestions and GMs may adjust the table as he sees fit for his campaign. TABLE 1b: Chance of more than one child Race Twin Trip Quad Quint Sex Human 10 100 1,000 10,000 100,000 Halfling 100 1,000 10,000 100,000 1,000,000 Half-Elf 500 5,000 5,000 50,000 500,000 Elf 1,000 10,000 100,000 1,000,000 n/a Gnome 10,000 100,000 1,000,000 n/a n/a Dwarf 100,000 1,000,000 n/a n/a n/a STAGES OF PREGNANCY Each stage of pregnancy is listed below with the effects that the pregnant character will suffer. Refer to the effects section for specifics. Elf pregnancies are quite nice and comfortable. Therefore, GMs may forgo certain unpleasant effects for pregnant elves. 1st Stage - Check for mood swings at 55% chance. - Check for morning sickness (20%). - Lower constitution by 1 because of increased fatigue. 2nd Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 65% chance. - Check for morning sickness (25%). - Lower constitution by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to constitution because of increased fatigue. - Increase in urination output. 3rd Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 75% chance. - Check for morning sickness (30%). - Danger during spell-casting. - Increase in urination output. 4th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance. - Check for morning sickness (10%). - Noticeable weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race. - Food cravings: Friends may be sent on wild treks to find exotic food to curb the pregnant women's cravings. - Lower dexterity by 1 due to loss of agility. - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer a -5%. - +5% chance of spell failure due to discomfort. 5th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance. - Check for morning sickness (05%). - Weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race. - Food cravings. - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to dexterity because of lack of agility. - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an additional -5%. - +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort. 6th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 25% chance. - Weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race. Adjustment to armor size is likely and probably expensive. - Food cravings. - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -3 to dexterity because of lack of agility. - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an added -1d10%. - +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort. 7th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance. - Check for backache. - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -4 to dexterity because of lack of agility. - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times. - +1d6+6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of concentration. 8th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance. - Check for backache. - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -5 to dexterity because of lack of agility. - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times. - +2d6+3% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of concentration. 9th Stage - Check for mood swings for this stage at 55% chance. - Check for backache. - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -6 to dexterity because of lack of agility. - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times. - +3d6+2% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of concentration. - Develops nesting habits (i.e. desire to make a warm, cozy home and prefer not to go anywhere). EFFECTS BACKACHE The formula to check for backache is as followed: 50% - (Strength + Constitution) + 5 for every previous stage of backache. The backache lasts for 2d4 days. If a woman has a backache, she is in great pain. She should get rest and not engage in strenuous activity. If she decides to, the GM may want to impose a 1d4 hit point loss for every turn of strenuous activity to simulate the agony. Usually in the last three stages of pregnancy, backache is constant, so GMs may wish this upon the character. GMs may desire to make a temporarily (until pregnancy is over) drastic reduction of hit points to simulate the constant agony of the woman. MOOD SWINGS (THE BITCH RULE) The following are the steps to develop a moody female: - The female character must roll 1d6 every eight waking hours for an attitude. - The female may reroll if a situation has been unusually stressful (i.e. after melee, during an argument, etc.). - Any person who comes in contact with the female (ex. other player characters) may request a reroll once per day. Only one reroll may happen each day. The reroll represents people who influence the female thereby changing her moods (for better or for worse). - For a roll of 6 on Table 2, roll 1d6 again. A 1 indicates an obsessive behavior. Thus, she becomes obsessive about whatever the party is doing at the moment to the point of not letting anyone or thing in her way of trying to accomplish her goal. TABLE 2: Moods & Attitudes Die Roll Moods & Attitudes 1 happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly 2 self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic 3 pissed off, vengeful, cruel 4 depressed, sullen, feeling inadequate 5 depressed. brooding, pessimistic 6 restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with things, roll 1d6 for obsession check Needless to say, running a character with all of these different attributes which change all of the time tests the player's ability to roll play to a maximum. MORNING SICKNESS Roll d% on Table 3 to get the level of morning sickness. If the woman continues to have morning sickness from a previous stage, then an additional rule on the table isn't necessary. Mild morning sickness consists of 1 to 2 hours of nausea a day. Moderate morning sickness lasts 1d4 hours a day after which check for 1 to 2 hours of nausea with-1 penalty. Chronic morning sickness lasts 2d4 hours a day after which check for 1d4 hours of nausea with -2 penalty. TABLE 3: Level Of Morning Sickness Die Roll Level How Long 01-60 None n/a 61-80 Mild 3 stages 81-98 Moderate 5 stages 99-00 Chronic 9 stages NAUSEA A character has nausea if a constitution ability check is failed. A person with nausea feels like vomiting. The character has difficulty concentrating and therefore has a -05% chance of spell failure for every hour of nausea. Furthermore, she suffers a -1 to dexterity and strength for the duration of nausea. CHARISMA, ATTRACTIVENESS, AND PREGNANCY Some feel that there should be a charisma penalty imposed to a pregnant character. Supposedly, pregnant women find themselves fat, ugly, and undesirable. Thus, they don't give of an aura of coolness, magnetism, leadership, and determination. Not to many will follow a moody, weak woman. This "ugly" state would also be reflected in attractiveness. Others feel that a pregnant character should get a bonus to charisma. Supposedly, pregnant women "glow with motherhood". Being pregnant is the essence of womanhood and many males find this attractive. In fact, a pregnant woman can get people to wait on her beckon call because she seems so helpless. This "natural beauty" can be reflected in attractiveness. Given these completely different views. A GM should make charisma adjustments based on the individual views of those that the pregnant character meets. Thus, one NPC may find her attractive and thus she gains a bonus to attractiveness and charisma. On the other hand, an NPC can find her repulsive and thus she suffers a penalty to attractiveness and charisma. DANGEROUS EFFECTS ON A UNBORN CHILD SPELL-CASTING A pregnant mage or cleric can cause weird things to happen to an unborn child if she casts spells after the 2nd stage of pregnancy. Magic is the ability to shape, control, harness, and utilize natural forces that infuse the world and surround the character. When a mage or cleric uses her magic ability, this force can influence the development of an unborn child. Every time a mage or cleric casts a spell after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to the spell level that an effect has occurred. For example, Roxanne The Mage is in her 3 stage of pregnancy. She casts a 2nd level spell. There is a 2% that the unborn child is effected. The player rolls a 25 on the percentile dice and thus nothing happens to the unborn. Then, Roxanne casts a 3rd level spell. Now there is a 5% (2+3) chance of the unborn child to be effected. But the percentile dice show a 56 and the child is safe. PSIONICS A psionicist shapes, controls, harnesses, and utilizes natural forces that infuse her own being. The essence of a psionicist is mind and body. Since the unborn is in the body, psionic powers that are manifested can greatly effect the unborn child. For every psionic strength point (PSP) used by the psionicist after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to the number of expended PSPs that an effect has occurred. EXTRAPLANAR TRAVEL Each time a pregnant character travels to another plane after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance that an effect has occurred. Going to the elemental planes gives a cumulative 5% chance of an effect occurring. Going to the ethereal plane gives a cumulative 25% chance that an effect has occurred. Going to the astral plane gives a cumulative 50% chance that an effect has occurred because of the strain. The effects of going to the outer planes is relative to alignment. For each difference in alignment there is a cumulative 2% chance that an effect has occurred. Thus, a lawful good character visiting a chaotic evil outer plane will give the unborn child a 12% (lawful -> neutral -> chaotic = 3 or 6%, good -> neutral -> evil = 3 or 6% for a total of 12%) chance of an effect. LEVEL DRAINING Every time the pregnant woman loses a level for whatever reason after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to the number of levels drained multiplied by 10 that an effect has occurred. If an effect does occur, minus 5 to the die roll on the Type of Effect Table for each level drained. MAGICAL AGING If any aging effect is inflicted upon the pregnant woman (such as a Haste spell), the aging effect is split between the mother and child equally. This, of course, may cause immediate labor and birth of the child. Due to increased development rate, the child must make a system shock roll based on its mother's constitution. Failure indicates that an effect occurs. If there is an effect roll on the following table (subtracting the stage of pregnancy, i.e. add 10 if in the 5th stage of pregnancy) to decide if the effect is positive or negative (use appropriate modifiers). TABLE 4: Type of Effect 01-25 Positive; roll on Positive Effects Table 5 26-00 Negative; roll on Negative Effects Table 6 TABLE 5: Positive Effects (ROLL 1d10) 1: Born with infravision which enables child to see up to 60 feet in the dark. If the child's race already has the benefit of infravision than add 20 feet to the range. 2: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. paralyzation, poison, or death magic. 3: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. rod, staff, or wand. 4: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. petrifaction or polymorph. 5: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. breath weapon. 6: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. spell. 7: Born with 10d10 - 5 % magic resistance. 8: Born with a lifetime regeneration ability. The child will be able to naturally (subconsciously) regenerate 1 hit point every turn. 9: Born with a natural (subconscious) ability to "turn" 1 Hit Die undead. Great potential for child to grow up to be a infamous cleric. 10: Born with a psionic wild talent. If the effect was created due to psionics, then two wild talents develop. TABLE 6: Negative Effects (ROLL 1d12) 1: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. paralyzation, poison, or death magic. 2: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. rod, staff, or wand. 3: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. petrifaction or polymorph. 4: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. breath weapon. 5: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. spell. 6: Unborn is mutated into a demon. Possible possessed by the evil intelligence of a demonic creature. The GM should decide what type of demon the child shall be. 7: Radically different coloration of skin. The color change can either be advantageous or disadvantageous to the child, depending on whether the new color will give him/her a camouflage appearance or make him/her a laughing stock. A child's color can change to any other color. The color change is left to the GM and is limited only by the imagination. 8: The child's eyes are much different than normal. Roll 1d6 to determine the types of eyes: 1 = huge and protruding; 2 = small and stalked like a crab's; 3 = large ad turreted, move independently like a chameleon; 4 = appear normal but child has 1d4 additional eyes; 5 = multifaceted like an insect's; 6 = the child appears to have no eyes (any eye sockets are empty, but the child moves and reacts like one with normal vision). 9: The child's eyes appear and function normally except for their color: 1 = solid black; 2 = blank white; 3 = glowing red; 4 = glowing, venomous green; 5 = putrid pink; 6 = opalescent. 10: The skull or head of the child is adorned with unusual outgrowths. While it is possible for a child to attack with these outgrowths (when he/she grows up), this mutation does not give the child an additional attack per round. Roll 1d4 to determine the type of adornment: 1 = antlers, as a small deer, that do 1-2 hp slashing and rendering damage each; 2 = horns, as a small bull, doing 1-3 hp stabbing damage each; 3 = single horn, like a small unicorn horn without magical properties, doing 1-4 hp stabbing damage; 4 = curved horns, like a ram, that can be used to butt an opponent for 1-4 hp damage. 11: The child has a tail. While it is possible to use the tail for attack, this does not give an additional attack per round. Roll 1d4 to determine the type of tail: 1 = short, useless, and non-functioning; 2 = long and prehensile, can be used to hold a shield or other object but cannot be used in attack; 3 = long and segmented, ending in a nonpoisonous stinger that does 1-4 hp damage; 4 = long and whip-like, can be used to inflict 1-2 hp damage. 12: REROLL ----------------------------------------------------------------------- WHEN DOES THE STORK COME? Normally, labor will occur 36+1d4 weeks after conception for humans, elves, and half-elfs. Labor will occur 38-1d4 weeks after conception for dwarves and halflings. MISCARRIAGES When a character suffers over 50% of total hit points in damage, there is a chance that she suffers a miscarriage based on how long she has been pregnant. For the first three stages (1,2,3) the chance of a miscarriage is 50%. For the second three stages (4,5,6) the chance of a miscarriage is 25% The woman has 3d4 hours to get to a cleric for a Cure Critical Wounds to save the child. Of course, the child must make a system shock based on its mother's constitution to survive. In the case of a miscarriage, there is a 25% of hemorrhaging. Hemorrhaging causes 3d6 points of internal damage to the character. For the last three stages (7,8,9) instead of a miscarriage there is a 50% chance for a premature birth. LABOR & BIRTH When a women has her first child, she will be in labor 4d6 hours. Subsequent labors will be for 1d10 hours. The chance for a successful birth is based on the following formula (use mom's stats): success % = System Shock + (2 * Strength). The GM has two options for an unsuccessful birth. Kind GMs can make the mother make a system shock/2. If she succeeds then the child makes a roll to check for failure on the table based on the following formula: (system shock/2) - 1 for each day premature. (NOTE: subtract 10% from the table for each day the child is premature.) This option gives the character and child a second chance. A more sinister GM can require a roll on the table without any second chances. TABLE 7: Failed Birth (Roll 1d%) 01-40 child dies 41-80 mother dies 81-98 both dies 99-00 Both live (one last chance for success) GMs may adjusted the table based on their own campaign. RECOVERY FROM BIRTH The mother must spend 1d6+3 days in recovery. If the character wishes to engage in strenuous activities rather than recover, the GM can implement penalties to abilities (i.e. strength, constitution, dexterity). The bitch rule should remain in effect for an additional 1d4 weeks after birth. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SPELLS FOR THE MOTHER Level 1 Detect Pregnancy Prevent Nausea Summon Midwife Level 2 Assist Labor & Birth Level 6 'Irnar's Poloroidic Pregnancy Detect Pregnancy (Divination) Class: Cleric Level: 1 Sphere: Divination Range: Touch Components: V, S Duration: 1 round/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: None This spell enables the priest to detect pregnancy in any creature. The priest will also know the day of conception, stage of pregnancy, estimated day of birth, and gender of child. Prevent Nausea (Abjuration) Reversible Class: Cleric Level: 1 Sphere: Healing Range: Touch Components: V, S Duration: 6 turns/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: None This spell will prevent the woman from getting nausea for the duration of the spell. The reverse of this spell will cause nausea to the victim, male or female. Summon Midwife (Conjuration/Summoning) Class: Cleric Level: 1 Sphere: Summoning Range: 30 yards Components: V, S Duration: none Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: None This spell will summon the nearest midwife. The midwife will get the summons. She is under no obligation to respond to the summons, but very few midwifes will ignore it unless unfortunate circumstances prevail. Assist Labor & Birth (Necromancy) Class: Cleric Level: 2 Sphere: Healing Range: Touch Components: V, S, M Duration: none Casting Time: 2 Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: None This spell has multiple functions to assist the mother in labor and birth: Epidural - Produces a numbing of the lower back and pelvis to reduce stress on the mother during labor. Push - Assists mother in pushing the child out. Will cut the time of labor by 1d4 hours. Turn Baby - Will position the child correctly during labor for proper birth. The material components of this spell are boiling hot water and towels. 'Irnar's Poloroidic Pregnancy (Necromancy) Class: Mage Level: 6 Range: Touch Components: V, S Duration: permanent Casting Time: 6 Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: Neg. This spell will speed up the pregnancy of a woman from 9 stages to 9 hours (1 hour for each stage left until birth). The pregnant woman must make a system shock when its time to give birth. Success indicates that the birth is successful, failure indicates that child dies and the woman suffers a permanent -1 reduction to constitution. 'Irnar is still researching, but the priestesses of the Mother Goddess are doing their damndest to hunt him down and destroy his research, it is a violation if their creed. Some parental mages have created a few useful cantrips. Below is a list of them. They have a small description and should not need additional explanation. Burp - causes the infant to pass gas. Create Cheerios and Milk - creates a healthy portion of cereal w/ milk. Gallager's Food to Mush - transfers food to edible mush for infants. Turn Toddler - keeps a whinny kid at bay. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME Alcohol has a very bad effect on the developing brain of the fetus. In some areas, the brain may never totally mature. In addition to reduced learning capabilities, a person has little or no sense of "right or wrong". He/she has little sense of time, so that a potential long jail term means little to him/her, and he/she doesn't see the benefits of saving money today to spend next year, or to study today for a test next week. These symptoms can range anywhere from almost unnoticeable to very pronounced, and facial disfigurement (small, misshapen eyes and a flatter nasal area) can even occur. Some Fetal Alcohol Syndrome victims are somewhat socially inept. Not in a "nerdy" manner, but they seem to be unable to have healthy friendships. They are attracted to dangerous elements, such as the other troublemakers (unable to separate right from wrong, etc). They can't seem to resist peer pressure, and if pressured, will drink, steal, etc.. Their work ethic is bad, unable to see the future as imminent. The awful thing is, it's not their fault! Therefore, if a woman drinks at ANY time during pregnancy (even if she doesn't know she's pregnant) and if she consumes even a small amount of alcohol, there is a risk of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The more often she drinks, the greater the risk and the greater the possible effects. The player should roll 1d100 when the baby is born, with a cumulative possibility of having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome of +5% for every time the mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy. If the result is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, then the GM has two options in deciding on the results: 1: The player rolls 1d100 with a cumulative +5% for every time the mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy. Then consult Table 1. 2: The player rolls 1d12 with a cumulative +1 for every time the mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy. Then consult Table 2. Note that the character has all of the symptoms up to and including his/her die roll. That is, if the player rolls a 6 then the character has results 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. Table 1: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results Die Roll Effect 01-03 Intelligence is 4d4. 04-06 Intelligence is 3d4. 07-09 Intelligence is 2d4. 10-12 Intelligence is 1d4. 13-15 Wisdom is 4d4. 16-18 Wisdom is 3d4. 19-21 Wisdom is 2d4. 22-24 Wisdom is 1d4. 25-27 Strength is 4d4. 28-30 Strength is 3d4. 31-33 Strength is 2d4. 34-36 Strength is 1d4. 37-39 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 4d4. 40-42 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 3d4. 43-45 Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 2d4. 46-48 Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 1d4. 49-51 Weak. Constitution is 4d4. 52-54 Weak. Constitution is 3d4. 55-57 Very Weak. Constitution is 2d4. 58-60 Very Weak. Constitution is 1d4. 61-63 Learns at 1/4 speed. 64-66 Learns at 1/2 speed. 67-69 Learns at 3/4 speed. 70-72 Cannot have a lawful alignment. 73-75 Must have a chaotic alignment. 76-78 Must have a neutral alignment. 79-81 Unable to save money, destitute. Always gets rid of money. 82-84 Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things. 85-87 Never able to cast spells. 88-90 2d20+8 % magic resistance. Roll ignoring any result above 87. 91-93 Two problems. Roll twice ignoring any result above 87. 94-96 Three problems. Roll thrice ignoring any result above 87. 97-99 Four problems. Roll four times ignoring any result above 87. 00-00 Five problems. Roll five times ignoring any result above 87. Table 2: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results 1 Intelligence penalized -1d4. 2 Wisdom penalized -1d4. 3 Strength penalized -1d4. 4 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma penalized -1d4. 5 Weaker. Constitution penalized 1d4. 6 Learns at 1/4 speed. 7 Cannot have a lawful alignment. 8 Must have a chaotic alignment. 9 Must have a neutral alignment. 10 Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things. 11 Never able to cast spells. 12 2d20+8 % magic resistance. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ON THE SUBJECT OF A SHAPECHANGING MOTHER AND CHILD When a female who can naturally shapechange has a child, the relationship between mother and child is complex. Specifically, what shapechanging -if any- does the child undergo? There are some rules to remember: Nursing Stage - While the mother is in her natural form, the child is in its natural form. Examples: If a dragon mother is in dragon form, the child also is in dragon form. If a centaur druid mother is in centaur form, the child is in centaur - Until the child is weaned, it "echoes" the form of its mother. This occurs continuously whether or not the mother is actually in the process of nursing the child. Examples: If a dragon mother is in human form, the child also is in human form. If a centaur druid mother is in bear form, the child is in bear form regardless of what its original form was. Weaned Stage - After the child is weaned, it regains its normal form. Examples: If a dragon mother is in any form, the child also is in dragon form. If a centaur druid mother is in any form, the child is in centaur, horse or human form as appropriate. - From weaning until puberty, the child will always remain in its natural form. Adulthood - If the child is not of a shapechanging race, it will never shapechange again. - If the child is of a shapechanging race, it will gain its shapechanging powers with the onset of puberty. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- THE BABY IS HERE! WHAT YA' GOT? CHARACTERISTICS Baby's Sex Probably the most popular topic of a new born child is its sex. Roll percentile dice to determine the race of the child. Generally the probability of having a female is slightly greater than a male. Thus there is a 52% of having a male and a 48% of having as female child. Note that GMs may wish to adjust this number in their campaigns for the various races. Also, the GM may let the character influence the chance one way or the other through magic, divine intervention, etc.. Attributes This system will give you the attributes that the baby will have once he reaches adulthood (which is usually a few years after puberty). Of course, as a child the baby will show potential or problem areas if stats are high or low; especially in areas of intelligence and wisdom. To figure out the attributes, the first step is to average each attribute of the parents which will give you the "genetic" bases. To make the baby a bit different from its parents, a random factor is added to the process. First, add 1d4 to each genetic base and then subtract 1d4 to that number. This means that each of the baby's stats can be up to 3 above or 3 below its parents' average. If the result isn't an integer, there is a 50% chance to round up and a 50% to round down. Example: A baby is to be born, but what will his Strength be? His father's Strength is 17 and his mother's Strength is 14. This averages to 15.5 which becomes the genetic base. Before figuring in the random factor, we know that the baby's Strength will fall between 12.5 - 18.5. On the first 1d4, a 3 is rolled and added to the genetic factor giving us a 18.5. On the second 1d4, a 2 is rolled and subtracted from the 18.5 giving us a Strength 16.5. Well decimals are unacceptable so on the percentile roll, a 23% is rolled causing the Strength to be rounded down to 16. The baby's Strength will be 16 when it reaches adulthood. The same process is followed for the remanding attributes. Note that the baby's attributes must still obey its race's minimum/maximum limits. For example, no human can be born with more than 18 or less than 3 in any attribute. Height To figure out what the baby's adult height will be, the first step is to average the parents height (in inches). Next, add the modifier based on race found on the height table below. Finally, add the adjustment found on the height table if it is a male, subtract the adjustment if it is a female. The result is the baby's adult height in inches. TABLE: Height Race Mod. Adj. Dwarf 1d6 1 Elf 1d6 2.5 Gnome 1d4 1 Half-elf 1d6 1 Halfling 1d8 1 Human 1d10 1 Weight To figure out what the baby's adult weight will be, the first step is to average the parents weight. Next, add the modifier based on race found on the weight table below. Finally, add the adjustment found on the weight table if it is a male, subtract the adjustment if it is a female. The result is the baby's adult weight. TABLE: Weight Race Mod. Adj. Dwarf 2d10 12.5 Elf 2d6 5 Gnome 2d4 2 Half-elf 2d8 12.5 Halfling 2d4 2 Human 2d20 20 Alternative Sexist Height & Weight This system emphasizes the relationship between the sex of the child and the size of the parents. Big men with small wives will have small daughters and strapping sons. Small men with big wives will have large healthy daughters and puny sons. To summarize, this system will have daughter's size favor mothers and son's size favor fathers. Although this system for figuring out height and weight is good, it is given as an alternative. Unless the GM plans the size of the parents ahead of time, a small mother would have a small daughter and a small father would have a small son. This seems reasonable, but if players are looking for player characters out of the baby, having the baby small might not be a good idea. To figure out what the baby's adult height will be, the first step is to calculate height in inches as per your RPG rule book. Take the height of the parent that is the same gender as the child and multiply it by 1.5. Take the height of the other parent of the child and multiply it by 1.5. Add those three numbers then divide by 3. The result is the baby's adult height in inches. To summarize: ht = [calc. ht. + (1.5 x same gender parent) + (.5 x other parent)] / 3 To figure out what the baby's adult weight will be, the first step is to calculate weight in inches as per your RPG rule book. Take the weight of the parent that is the same gender as the child and multiply it by 1.5. Take the weight of the other parent of the child and multiply it by 1.5. Add those three numbers then divide by 3. The result is the baby's adult weight in inches. To summarize: wt = [calc. wt. + (1.5 x same gender parent) + (.5 x other parent)] / 3 Personality Sooner or later, the parents will learn that the baby has a distinct personality. The player should roll on a personality table of his GM RPG rule book. The GM may wish the player to roll on the table once the baby reaches childhood, reaches puberty, and finally reaches adulthood. Of course, once adulthood is reached, the "baby" may be considered a PC rather than a NPC if the player desires to pursue this avenue. Thus, the player develops the character as desired. It should be emphasized here that role-playing personality is only relevant if the baby is intended as an NPC. Babies who are to become PCs shouldn't roll this so the player may have absolute freedom in creating the character. "DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL" SYNDROME A female child should has a percentage chance (60 + her Charisma - father's Wisdom) of charming her father. The charmed father will always think of his daughter as pure and innocent. He will always protect her and blame everybody else for anything that happens to her even if it is obviously her fault. THE FIRST BORN When these baby rules were being developed, GM Mizar and one of his players started to roll up the baby's stats and due to a sequence of unbelievably lucky rolls they created a wonder girl: P. Strength: 18 Intelligence: 15 Dexterity: 17 Wisdom: 16 Constitution: 18 Charisma: 12 Attractiveness: 17 Luck: 14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SEXUAL TENDENCY Some GMs may like totally random factors in a character's generation thus this sexual tendency optional rule is presented. Roll 1d100 on Table 1 to get the sexual tendency of the character using the appropriate social class modifier from Table 2. The reason for the social class modifier: the upper classes have more access to culturally-accepted sexual information and are under strict "moral" guardianship. TABLE 1: Sexual Tendencies Die Roll Tendency 01-80 heterosexual 81-90 bisexual 91-00 homosexual TABLE 2: Modifiers Due To Social Class Social Level Modifiers Lower Lower Class 0 Middle Lower Class 0 Upper Lower Class 0 Lower Middle Class -1% Middle Middle Class -2% Upper Middle Class -3% Lower Upper Class -5% Middle Upper Class -7% Upper Upper Class -9% ----------------------------------------------------------------------- THE BITCH RULE The Bitch Rule is an option that makes a female PC or NPC very moody. GMs may make this a requirement for all females. Other alternatives are making it an insanity, disease, or curse. The Bitch Rule works best for chaotic characters because they seem to have what it takes to work. The following are the steps to develop a moody female: - The female character must roll 1d6 every eight waking hours for an attitude. - The female may reroll if a situation has been unusually stressful (i.e. after melee, during an argument, etc.). - Any person who comes in contact with the female (ex. other player characters) may request a reroll once per day. Only one reroll may happen each day. The reroll represents people who influence the female thereby changing her moods (for better or for worse). - For a roll of 6 on the table, roll 1d6 again. A 1 indicates an obsessive behavior. Thus, she becomes obsessive about whatever the party is doing at the moment to the point of not letting anyone or thing in her way of trying to accomplish her goal. TABLE: Moods & Attitudes Die Roll Moods & Attitudes 1 happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly 2 self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic 3 pissed off, vengeful, cruel 4 playful, energetic, daring, foolhardy, practical joker 5 vain, proud, lazy, bored, omnipotent feeling 6 restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with things, roll 1d6 for obsession check Needless to say, running a character with all of these different attributes which change all of the time tests the player's ability to role play to a maximum. The Bitch Rule initiated in Salina, a chaotic neutral human. Because of her great contribution to the game, a profile of her is below. Salina - 9th level mage Physical Appearance: Salina is 5' 6" brunette with grey eyes. She has remarkable stats (all above 10, INT 17, DEX 18) (honest, that's the way she rolled it...). She is a real "babe". The longer you are in her presence, however, the more you realize that her charisma is not quite up to her atractiveness. Family & Childhood: Her mother died in childbirth. Her father is a rich/feared/respected merchant/trader/smuggler who bought his title and measures affection in monetary terms. To increase Salina's value, she was educated by private tutors and given anything money could buy. She discovered books and power as a substitute for friends and affection. Reasons to Adventure: * Boredom; looking for a thrill * Companionship (though she would never agmit it to herself) * To gain greater powers and a sense of self away from Daddy * To get away from Daddy's immediate grasp so he doesn't marry her off to secure a trade agreement or something General: She lives whim to whim. She has chronic PMS mood swings (aka The Bitch Rule). She is self serving. All of her likes and dis-likes are subject to change at any time, though a respect for books and talent and an attraction to jewelry are pretty consistent. She tends to dislike being dirty and loathes stupid people unless they have something she needs from them. She is a sort-of female Q (from Star Trek TNG). The party puts up with her often dangerous moods because she is a really good mage. Adventure examples: Has a casual but regular relationship with 'Irnar (a NPC mage who "pops" in every now and again to stir up trouble with the characters). She keeps the relationship for what she can get out of him and because he learned some pretty INCREDIBLE moves after being abducted by a goddess of love. 'Irnar is totally into the physical aspect of a relation and since Salina is a mage with the best atractiveness in my campaign, she wins out. Salina has been known to disappear (teleported by 'Irnar) during the middle of her night watch and reappear with melting snow in her hair. Or completely soaked with water, or in one case with grass stains and rope burns. The party has yet to find out what she does on her little side trips. One time she disappeared for three days then reappeared with no explanations, but she was in such a good mood that the party counted their blessings and did not press the questions. Besides, they desperately needed her since they were about to do battle with an Orcish army. One time, another mage in the party got Salina mad at him, so he cast a Globe of Invulnerability around him for protection. Salina, recognizing the spell promptly threw a dagger +2 at him as a "subtle way of saying "get out of my face" and continued on her way without losing hardly a beat. Another time the party had to pay a toll of one magic item each to a very old black dragon (I was sorta hoping they'd try to fight the thing) and Salina, in her helpful, cheery mood promptly offered the other mage to the dragon saying "If you let us pass, I'll give him to you" (note: said with a disgustingly cheery voice). The other mage had to do some quick talking to get out of that one. He did get some help from the good cleric who was "appalled" that Salina could do such a thing. The party encountered a pool of whimsy healing water once. Salina got mad at one of the party members for being stupid, and promptly pushed him in. (The party at the time did not know the effects of the water.) Well, the fighter immediately got healed of all of his hit points, got a whimsy (I don't recall what it was) and drowned because he was wearing metal armour. Two members of the party finally fished him out, but they had a dickens of a time resuscitating him. The episode ended by everyone having a pool fight and pushing someone else in. (All went in except Salina.) In another adventure, the party was right in the middle of battling an awesome mage (Le Morte by name) and Salina suddenly got bored and sat down to do her nails. The party, without a mage to help them out, really got whomped on, had to give in to Le Morte's demands, and lost a Horn of Dwarf Summoning they had spent several months (real time) trying to get in order to call the Dwarves to battle against the impending evil of a powerful anti-paladin (Sheol) who is still trying to take over all of the land. Well. There you have some of the endearing characteristics of Salina. The party she runs around with may not like her all that much, but with players like her, the GM's job of making things difficult for all the players is made a little easier. ("With characters like her," quipped the Cleric named Candice Preach, "who needs adventure?") This background is brought to you by Morgan the Slightly Chaotic ----------------------------------------------------------------------- THE RACK CRITICAL HIT CHART: FOR MEN ONLY Female characters are cursed with The Bitch Rule, so how can the males be equally punished. Well, at long last, it's here. The Rack Critical Hit Chart. "Rack" is a term that refers to a shot to the groin. As most guys will tell you, a hit to the body or face is invulnerably more welcome and less devastating than a blast to the crotch. The rack can either be a called shot to the groin, part of a normal critical hit chart, or (to get more use of it) if the attacker rolls five higher than the necessary to hit roll (modified or natural), it is now considered to be a rack. The rack chart is as follows: 0-70 Man drops weapon, clutches privates, and loses next 1d4 rounds of initiative. 71-80 Man is blinded by tears and cannot defend or attack for the next 1d6 rounds. 81-90 Man is stunned for one round and then goes into a berserker rage for 1d10 rounds. Rules for berserk rage applies. 91-95 Man's voice is permanently altered to 1d4 octaves higher, dropping his charisma by 1d4. Also stunned for 1d4 rounds. 96-98 Man is permanently rendered impotent. Stunned for 1d6 rounds. 99 Man loses consciousness for 1d10 rounds. (System shock roll can be made at -50%, if successful, man is only unconscious for 1d4 rounds.) 00 Man goes into shock, no save, and dies. All men within a viewing distance must make a constitution save at -5 or they clutch themselves and remain stunned for 1 round. NOTE: GM's may enforce the rule that any time a man sees another man getting racked he must make a constitution check to see if he is stunned for one round. Exception, see 00. FINAL NOTE: Due to the amount of protection a male will go through to protect his "family treasure", his AC for his privates is 2 better than his overall AC. He also gets +2 to his dexterity at any attempt to dodge. SEDUCTION: MORE THAN REACTION ROLLS This is a simple yet effective way to handle a seduction. It is far more fun than making endless reaction checks and it certainly keeps players on their feet. The following are the steps for seducing: - When the character first comes in contact with someone he/she wants to seduce, a normal reaction roll is made. If the reaction of the victim is friendly, then a seduction may take place. - The preliminary moves are made (i.e. role playing) and attribute checks are made. The seducer makes a Charisma check with modifiers from Table 1. The victim makes an Intelligence check (to see if he/she is dumb enough to fall for it) with modifiers from Table 1. If the seducer beats the victim's roll by 4 or more, he/she is doing well and may continue. - The GM decides how many more checks should be made with suitable pluses or minuses to the attribute rolls (take into account how well the player is role playing). Usually no more than three more successful checks are necessary. Failed checks mean that the victim of the seduction lost interest, but the seducer can try again with the Charisma check halved (its not easy to get back up on that horse after being shot down). TABLE 1: Attribute Modifiers Moves Made Seducer Victim Drunkenly -2 +2 Sleazy/Raunchy -1 +1 Aggressive +1 -1 Gentleman/Lady +2 -2 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SEDUCTION FOR THE PROFESSIONAL Certain characters (see the sub-classes in this guide) have a special benefit of seduction. This ability that differs from the seduction rules above is described here. Note that these rules are not gender specific but are given as if the Seducer is a woman. The Seducer has a special power of seduction. Seduction is an ability which is used against individual males of the same or similar race as the Seducer. The Seducer's percentage chance of seducing is given by the following formula: Seducer's level -------------------------- X 100 victim's level + modifiers TABLE 1: CUMULATIVE MODIFIERS; IF VICTIM IS... Fighter +3 Elf/Half-elf +1 * +1 for each Rogue +3 Dwarf/Gnome/Halfling +2 outsider Mage +4 Orc/Half-orc -1 (see below) Cleric +5 TABLE 2: CUMULATIVE VICTIM'S WISDOM MODIFIER 1 -6 08-14 0 2 -4 15 +1 3 -3 16 +2 4 -2 17 +3 05-07 -1 18 +4 TABLE 3: OPTIONAL SEDUCER'S STATE OF DRESS MODIFIER Heavily clothed +1 Scantily/Provocatively clad -1 Nude -2 (The latter state will not be terribly practical under most circumstances, and might well lead to arrest for indecent exposure.) A seduced person will drop his weapons, become oblivious to his surroundings, and attempt to engage the Seducer in a passionate embrace. In such a state he is extremely vulnerable (especially to kiss spells which are very popular amongst Seducers). However, if the Seducer does not attempt to use a spell on a seduced victim, he is allowed to make his save vs. spell. If this is successful, then he realizes what has happened in which case the seduction is broken and he cannot be immediately seduced again. Breaking the seduction, however, does not affect the success of the spell being used. Seduction cannot be used in combat and cannot work against other females except those that are homosexuals. The presence of other individuals in close proximity (within ten feet, or obviously watching) will reduce the chance of success of the seduction attempt. For each outsider present, add 1 to the modifier. Seduction lasts for a number of turns equal to five times the Seducer's level, or until broken. It can be broken in a number of ways, i.e. if the Seducer attempts to use a kiss spell as above, or if she resists his attentions (the victim is allowed his save vs. spell each time she does so), or if the victim is attacked. In the latter case, the seduction is instantly broken. Seduction can only be used on a single individual at a time; a Seducer may use the ability a number of times per day equal to her level. EXAMPLE OF THE USE OF SEDUCTION: Lirona the Seducer (3rd level, human) is attempting to seduce Thad Leaf the thief (5th level, human). The scene is the Golden Griffon Inn. There are a number of other people present but no one is paying any particular attention to the pair. Lirona's chance of seducing Thad is equal to 3 (her level) X 100 divided by 5 (Thad's level) +3 (modified for a thief), i.e. 300 / 8 = 37.5%. Lirona rolls 30. Success! Thad is taken in by her charms. however, a bar is no place for a romantic liaison. Eagerly he accompanies her upstairs to her room, his arm around her slim waist, not suspecting the fate that awaits him when he gets there...!!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- NON-WEAPON SKILLS # of Slots Relevant Check Skill Required Ability Modifier Contortion 1 Dexterity 0 Massage 1 Intelligence 0 Seduction 1 Charisma 0 Sexual Endurance 1 Constitution 0 Sexual Knowledge 1 Intelligence 0 Skilled Perversion 1 see below see below Contortion - A character with this skill is able to contort his body and limbs into extraordinary positions. Massage - A character with this skill is a master of massaging. The character has a great knowledge of stroking, kneading, and striking certain muscular parts of the body. It is used to improve circulation, sooth the nerves, and stimulate the digestive organs. Massage is also useful in increasing the tone of muscles after a long illness. Thus, the character gains knowledge of anatomy and is able to use his hands skillfully in stroking motions on certain muscles and nerves. A male who gives massage is called a masseur; a female is known as a masseuse. A skill check isn't necessary unless it is critical for the massage to be good (ex. soothing a savage before picking his pockets). This skill also allows the character the ability to strike pressure points on an opponent. A successful "to hit" and skill check indicates that the victim suffers a -2 on his/her "to hit" rolls for 1d4 rounds (due to pain and sudden muscle cramps). Seduction - A character with this skill is better at seducing people than the average person. Thus, he/she gets a +2 bonus when seducing somebody (see the seduction rules below) if the skill check is made. Sexual Endurance - A character with this skill is able to perform continual sexual activity longer then most before becoming subject to fatigue and exhaustion. When a character makes constitution ability checks during sex, he/she makes a skill check. If a successful skill check is made, then the cumulative modifier to constitution is cancelled. Sexual Knowledge - A character with this skill has a knowledgeable understanding of sex. Thus, he/she gets a bonus of +1 to constitution ability checks during sex if a successful skill check is made. This knowledge is allows the character to know proper "etiquette" when it comes to sex. Knowledge of sexual customs, preferences, pleasures, and dislikes, and so forth of people he/she comes in contact with. Skilled Perversion - This skill actually gives the character a number of skills. Unfortunately (to normal people), these skills allow the character to master the art of perversion. The skill of voyeurism allows the character on a successful Charisma check to ogle a person of the opposite gender and make lewd, suggestive comments equal to the prose of bards. If the check is made by 2, the character can successfully peep in windows to look at sexy people without being caught. The skill of cleavage allows the character on a successful Wisdom check to accurately determine the direction and distance to the nearest female with a minimum bust size of 36 and/or minimum cup size of D. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SEXUALIS MORBUS (SEXUAL DISEASES) This system does not attempt a specific treatment of a subject which is beyond its scope and purpose. What is done, however, is to give general categories of disease and maladies and their game effects. CHANCE OF CONTRACTING A DISEASE To contract a sexual disease, the character must be having sex with somebody who already is inflicted with a disease. The base chance for contracting a natural disease is 1% per round of sexual activity. The base chance for contracting a magical disease is 2% per round of sexual activity. Modifiers are as followed: Constitution of character 1-3 +4 13-15 -2 4-6 +2 16-18 -4 protected intercourse / 2 (cuts the chance in half) unprotected intercourse X 2 (doubles the chance) Thus, Rath (con. 14) becomes intimate with a person that has a natural sexual disease unfortunately he prefers not to use protection (like a sheep-skin condom). He participates in 18 rounds of sex. His chance of getting a disease is 32% (18-2 X 2). He rolls a 28 on the percentile dice. Thus, our hero now is infected with a sexual disease. If only he used protection, his chance of contracting a disease would have been a mere 8%. A lesson to be learned. The use of Protection From Disease and Cure Disease spells are of course very useful for preventing and curing disease. RANDOM DETERMINATION OF WHO IS DISEASED The GM should decide of the person a character has sex with is infested with a disease, but if he wants to decide randomly, this system is provided. The chance of a prostitute having a disease is already established if Getting To Know A Prostitute (Random Generator) section of the guide is used. Therefore, the system is provided for non-prostitute people. Also, this system doesn't handle whether diseases are natural or magical because some GM's may have magically rich campaigns ands others may not so odds may vary. The base chance of having a disease is depend on the size of the settlement (the theory is that more diseases are found in bigger settlements where more people interrelate): Thorp, Dorf 10 Hamlet 25 Village, Wych 30 Town 35 City 40 Modifiers to the base chance are by social level (the theory is that more disease are transmitted amongst the lower classes because there are dirtier and less careful): Lower Lower Class +20 NOTE: not all settlements Middle Lower Class +15 have these many variations Upper Lower Class +10 of social level. The GM Lower Middle Class +5 should be aware of what Middle Middle Class 0 social levels are around. Upper Middle Class -5 Lower Upper Class -10 Middle Upper Class -15 Upper Upper Class -20 Thus, a lower lower class citizen of a city would have a 60% chance of having a disease maybe because she sleeps around to get extra food money. In a near by hamlet, an upper upper class citizen would have a 5% chance maybe because he has a private mistress to engage in sexual activity when he is up to it. While in the city, a citizen of equal status has a 20% chance maybe because he parties a lot with the rich and he screws just as much. At first glance at this system, a person might assume that in a city 9,000 roughly 40% (3,600) of the population are sexually diseased. The first item to note is that this system includes only those that ENGAGE in sexual activity. This eliminates a large amount of the city including children, elderly, etc.. We'll say that half the city engages in sexual activity, which seems like a lot. Social level is another important aspect that must be included. Thus in this example, let us assume that all social levels exist and there population is equal: Total Sexual Chance Total Of Social Level Pop. Active Of Dis. Diseased Lower Lower Class 1,000 500 * 60% = 300 Middle Lower Class 1,000 500 * 55% = 275 Upper Lower Class 1,000 500 * 50% = 250 Lower Middle Class 1,000 500 * 45% = 225 Middle Middle Class 1,000 500 * 40% = 200 Upper Middle Class 1,000 500 * 35% = 175 Lower Upper Class 1,000 500 * 30% = 150 Middle Upper Class 1,000 500 * 25% = 125 Upper Upper Class 1,000 500 * 20% = 100 ----- 1800 Thus, 1,800 people of 4,500 people who have sex of 9,000 people that live in the city are infected with a sexual disease. This is a lot, but we're assuming that those that participate in sexual activity do this with more than one person. The thing to keep in mind is that this system is to calculate individual persons, not mass population. When the dice starts rolling, the results usually don't go with the odds. NATURAL Natural sexual diseases might not seem as bad as magical, but they are as terrible. After choosing the desired disease on Table 1, the GM should roll 1d8 to decide occurrence and 1d8 to decide the severity of the disease. Table 1: Natural Diseases Occurrence Severity Name Acute Chronic Mild Severe Terminal E.S.S. 1-4 5-8 1-3 4-5 6-8 Gonorrhea 1-6 7-8 1-5 6-7 8 Insania 1-4 5-8 X X X Prurire 1-7 8 1-6 7-8 X Segmen Neus 1-4 5-8 1-3 4-5 6-8 Syphilis X 1-8 1-5 6-7 8 Tuna 1 2-8 1-8 X X Occurrence determines whether the disease is a single (acute) attack or whether the disease will recur periodically once contracted (chronic). Chronic maladies will affect the character periodically, if they occur at the same time as any other malady (disease, disorder, or parasitic infestation), the severity of both will be increased. Thus, if two chronic maladies are contracted, the character is not likely to survive another disease attack. Severity refers to the seriousness of the disease, disorder, or parasitic infestation and determines the period of disability (recover time or length of illness which terminates in the character's demise) and the effects of the malady. MILD: During the period of affliction the character is unable to perform strenuous activities. Roll once on Table 2 for additional effects. Some treatment may be determined by the GM to allow a shortening of the period of illness. A normal period is 1-3 weeks. SEVERE: A severe malady will lower the character's hit points to 50% of normal and make him/her totally disabled for 1-2 weeks, plus a further 1-2 weeks of time during which the malady is in the mild state as the character recovers. Roll twice on Table 2 for additional effects. TERMINAL: The malady will cause death (or loss of the body part or function) in 1-12 days (longer periods are stated hereafter in the discussion of the various maladies). Roll thrice on Table 2 for additional effects. Table 2: Additional Effects Die Roll Effect 1 Burning during urination 2 Constant pain; -1d4 to attack rolls 3 Gradual brain rot; -1 intelligence and -1 wisdom 4 Hyperactivity; double movement rate, -2 initiative bonus 5 Loss of voice; no verbal spells, singing, etc. 6 Uncontrollable vomiting; -1 constitution per day 7 Sluggishness; half movement rate, +2 initiative penalty 8 10% chance per hour of a spasm which causes dropping of held items Description Enlarged Scrotum Syndrome (E.S.S.) - This disease is only contracted in males. The effect is that the male's testicles become quite enlarged (max. of two feet in diameter each). The victim's movement is quartered. Constitution is halved. The pain is awful and its really embarrassing to be seen. There is a 15% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again. Gonorrhea - An infectious disease of the genitourinary tract, rectum, and cervix, caused by the gonococcus, transmitted by sexual intercourse, and characterized by acute purulent urethritis with dysuria (Hey, its from Webster's Dictionary). There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again. Insania - This disease causes the inflicted to gain a sexual insanity disorder (GM's choice; see below). The period of affliction lasts 4d6 months. There is a 10% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again. Prurire - "The Itch" as it is better known is quite an uncomfortable but not lethal experience. The period of affliction is 1d4 weeks. There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again. Segmen Neus - This disease is named after a disgusting perverse ogre who was always pestering female species. The effects of the disease are as followed: * -2 to comeliness each day (gradual disfigurement) * -1 to intelligence each day (gradual stupidity) * right leg goes bad making movement decrease by 90% * unable to participate in any sexual activity There is a 75% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again. Syphilis - A chronic infectious venereal disease caused by a spirochete (Webster's Dictionary is so laborious). There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again. Tuna - This disease only manifests itself in female characters. It causes the victim to reek of the smell of fish. Going unnoticed is quite impossible. In fact, if cats are around they will follow the victim. There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease again. MAGICAL It is unknown how these magical diseases came about. Some sages say they're from war, some say that a rip in magical fields caused them, others say that creatures having sex with certain magical beings cause weird things. Whatever the reason, magical diseases aren't pretty. Magical diseases don't have an occurrence or severity. They last until dispelled by cure disease, wish, etc.. The GM can pick or roll (2d8) on Table 3. Some may feel that the these diseases cause to much damage. A first level character can have sex with somebody infected with acid secretion and most likely be killed during the encounter. This is true, but the important thing to remember is that these diseases are magical and are not necessarily that common in society. Table 3: Magical Diseases Die Roll Disease 2 Acidic Secretion 3 Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.) 4 Fiery Secretion 5 Mummy Crotch Rot 6 Orgasmatic Flight 7 Orgasmatic Monster Summoning 8 Orgasmatic Polymorph 9 Poison Secretion 10 Sexual Audible Glamer 11 Sexual Chill Touch 12 Sexual Clairvoyance 13 Sexual Invisibility 14 Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope 15+ REROLL Description Acidic Secretion - The sexual partner receives 2d8 points of damage on any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter. Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.) - This magical disease only affects females. Males should reroll on the magical disease table. Females with this disease suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule. Fiery Secretion - The sexual partner receives 2d6 points of damage on any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter. Mummy Crotch Rot - This disease is fatal in 1-6 months. For each month the rot progresses, the victim permanently loses two points of charisma. The disease can be cured only with a cure disease spell. Cure wounds and regenerate spells have no effect on a person inflicted with mummy crotch rot. Orgasmatic Monster Summoning - Within one round of an orgasm, summoned monsters appear. There are seven stages of this disease. Each stage is relative to the number of months the inflicted has had the disease. Thus in the first month, the disease would be in the first stage. In the first stage, 2d4 1st-level monsters appear (selected by the GM, from encounter tables). In the second stage, 1d6 2nd-level monsters appear. In the third stage, 1d4 3rd-level monsters appear. In the forth stage, 1d3 4th-level monsters appear. In the fifth stage, 1d2 5th-level monsters appear. In the sixth stage, 1d3 6th-level monsters appear. In the seventh stage, 1d2 7th-level monsters appear. The disease becomes terminal after the 7th stage. The summoned creatures attack whomever happens to be there for a number of rounds equal to the stage number + 10. Orgasmatic Flight - Upon an orgasm, the inflicted levitates if able (not tied down, etc). Then, he/she takes off in a random direction for 1d20 rounds. Upon coming into contact with a solid object (ex. wall), he/she takes off in another random direction. The GM may assign damage if necessary. Orgasmatic Polymorph - Upon an orgasm, the inflicted polymorphs into another creature, save those that are noncoporeal, from as small as wren to as large as a hippopotamus. Furthermore the victim gains its physical mode of locomotion and breathing as well. No system shock is required. This affect does not give the new form's other abilities, nor does it run the risk of changing personality and mentality. The duration of the polymorph is 1 turn per constitution point. Poison Secretion - The sexual partner receives damage (save vs. poison) on any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter . Roll (1d20) on the following table to decide damage: Die Fail Succ. Roll Onset In Save Save 01-03 10-30 min. 15 0 04-06 02-12 hours 20 10 07-09 01-04 hours 20 10 10-11 02-12 min. 20 01-03 12-13 02-05 min. 25 02-08 14-15 02-12 min. 30 15 16-17 01-02 min. 30 02-12 18 01-04 min. Death 20 19 Immediate Death 0 20 Immediate Death 20 Sexual Audible Glamer - Any time the inflicted engages in sexual activity, he/she has uncontrollable desires to yell, scream, etc. This yell becomes louder as the sexual encounter continues. The volume is based upon the round of sex. During the second round, the volume is that of one person. The ratio is two rounds for one person's volume. Thus, the noise increase to the equivalent of two men during the forth round, the noise of three men during the sixth, and so on. Sexual Chill Touch - On the tenth round of a sexual encounter, the inflicted causes a chill touch to his/her partner. The partner will take 1d10 points of damage due to the absolute cold. Further, the victim must save vs. paralysis or be utterly unable to move. This paralysis lasts until dispelled in some manner. (This could be real embarrassing to a government official paralyzed in a sleazy establishment.) Sexual Clairvoyance - The inflicted sees in his/her mind some unknown locale (chosen by the GM) at random times throughout a sexual encounter. Sexual Invisibility - The inflicted slowly turns invisible when having sex. This transformation begins on the second round and will end when the sexual encounter is finished. At this point, the inflicted will be totally invisible. The duration of invisibility is equal to the amount of rounds of the sexual encounter. (This could be beneficial when a quick an discreet exit is required.) Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope - A person with this disease either becomes inflicted with lycanthrope or becomes a carrier of the dreaded disease. The chances to get the disease are as followed: 50% - constitution - 5 becoming inflicted 50% + constitution - 5 becoming a carrier 10% neither The type of lycanthrope can be rolled (1d6) on the following table: 1 Werebear 4 Wearboar 2 Werefox 5 Wererat 3 Werewolf 6 Weretiger ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SEXUAL INSANITY ? A character can be struck by insanity due to a curse, psionic attack, disease, etc.. The GM must make sure the role of the insane character is role-played correctly. Naturally, these insanities are not clinically correct. They are designed to conform to game terms and situations. Their inclusion is to fill an area of the game where a condition exists and no adequate explanation is otherwise given. The GM can pick the desired insanity or roll (1d30) on Table 1. Table 1: Insanities Die Roll Insanity 1 Bitchamania 2 Coprophilia 3 Exhibitionism 4 Fetishism 5 Foulmouthia 6 Geroniophilla 7 Innecrophilia 8 Masochism 9 Mirusmania 10 Necrophilia 11 Nymphomania 12 Pedophilia 13 Periculuphilia 14 Pigmalionism 15 Sadism 16 Sexaphobia 17 Unus-????mania 18 Uridpsomania 19 Voyeurism 20 Zoophilia 21+ REROLL Description Bitchamania - This insanity can only manifest itself within females. Males should reroll for another insanity. Females with this insanity suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule. Coprophilia - This bizarre insanity causes the character to have an uncontrollable desire to eat the lees (the sediment of a liquid) of the sexual partner. If the partner is diseased (hopefully a sexual one), then the insane person's chance of contacting the disease is doubled and should be checked after each feast. Exhibitionism - This insanity causes the victim to have a fascination of being observed while nude or having sex. The more who witness the person the better. The person must exhibit himself/herself a minimum of 1d10+4 times a week. A few examples are to have sex in a public places, flash people, streak, etc.. Fetishism - The victim has a fascination and desire to have sex only if a specific object is in his/her possession or if possible the object is used in the act (like rods, rings, balls). Foulmouthia - The victim has an uncontrollable desire to say something perverse when he/she sees somebody of the opposite sex. When the victim sees such a person, he/she must make a Wisdom check with a -3 modifier. Failure and the victim says something profane. If the player can't think of anything, he/she can roll on the Sexist Quotes table found later in this guide. Geroniophilla - This insanity causes the character to strongly desire sex with older people (a minimum of 1d4 times per week). The older person must be at least be twice the character's age and is 50% of the time a three times the character's age (if possible). Innecrophilia - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive fascination with the undead. This obsession extends to the point of engaging in sexual intercourse with undead creatures when the opportunity arises. When coming across undead the afflicted character is 75% likely not to cause harm to the undead. Furthermore, he/she is 50% likely to rape unintelligent undead or seduce (to the point of begging) intelligent undead. The GM and players can see the dangers of a character desiring the likes of a vampire. Masochism - This insanity causes the character to like to be hurt by the partner (normally a sadistic one), using the same ways as the sadism. In other words, he/she likes to be on the receiving end of physical pain during sexual encounters. Mirusmania - This insanity causes the victim to desire to have weird sex (although some characters may already do weird things). Some examples are during fly, jump spells; while polymorphed or ethereal; in strange places like a dungeon, temple, tree; under the influence of transmute flesh to spells. The GM and player should flesh out this insanity for good role-playing purposes. Necrophilia - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive fascination with death and corpses. This obsession extends to the point of engaging in sexual intercourse with a corpse. The afflicted character is 50% likely to attempt a sexual act with a corpse of the opposite sex when such an opportunity arises. Thus, a character adventuring in catacombs may sneak away from the party for a quick interlude with the dead. This insanity could reach a point where the character keeps a supply of dead handy to serve his/her purposes. Nymphomania - Sex! Sex! Sex! This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex (lots of sex). The afflicted will furtively attempt to seduce a person of the opposite sex, whenever the opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such opportunities. The afflicted must have sex a minimum of 1d10+10 times per week. Not getting the minimum weekly requirement causes the person to gain an accumulative +1 to constitution, but lose an accumulative -1 to intelligence and an accumulative -1 to wisdom until relief presents itself. Other problems could be continuous dissatisfaction, inability to prioritize, egotistic view that everyone wants it, patronizing view that all need to be defiled by sex because they are naturally evil, or that he/she is doing people a "favor". He/she will not go to the extent of rape or molesting, but hiring prostitutes is not above the insanity. Pedophilia - This insanity causes the character to strongly desire sex with younger people (a minimum of 1d4 times per week). The younger person must be at least be half the character's age and is 50% of the time a fourth of the character's age. Of course this insanity can cause a lot of trouble with governmental laws on statutory rape. Periculuphilia - This strange insanity causes the inflicted to have a desire for sex only in dangerous situations and places. When in such a situation, the character is 50% likely to go into a sexual frenzy in which he/she must have sex immediately, preferably with a close sexual partner. Thus, a character will usually have such a partner along with him/her when adventuring. Note the afflicted must have this dangerous sex a minimum of 1d4+1 times per week. Not getting the minimum weekly requirement causes the person to gain an accumulative +1 to constitution, but lose an accumulative -1 to intelligence and an accumulative -1 to wisdom until relief presents itself. Some examples of dangerous situations and places would be when he/she is surrounded by a few dragons, in front of a angry lich, or maybe in any battle he/she is involved in. Pigmalionism - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive fascination with statues because they are cold, have hard muscles, nice form, unemotional, etc.. This obsession extends to the point of engaging in sexual intercourse with a statue (if physically possible). The afflicted character is 50% likely to attempt a sexual act with a statue when such an opportunity arises. Thus, a character adventuring in temple may sneak away from the party for a quick interlude with the a lovely statue. This insanity could reach a point where the character collects statues to serve his/her purposes. The ideal partner would be a golem or enchanted statue. Sadism - The victim of this insanity has a desire to physically hurt the person which he/she is having sex with. This attack can be done by various strange ways like whipping, kicking, chaining the partner, etc.. This insanity could reach a point where the character, under a orgasm, kills the engaged person. Sexaphobia - This insanity gives the victim a fear of having sex and will avoid having sex at all costs. Reasons for this fear may be divine retribution, superiority complex (nobody is good enough), etc. Sexual Phobia - If played properly, a sexual phobia can give a character a good amount of extra depth, however, played incorrectly can be disastrous. A phobia is a fear of something. The phobias presented here fears that are related to sex in some way. There are two tables for this section, Male and Female. If the character is homosexual or bisexual, then go to the appropriate sex 90% of the time and the opposite sex of the character the remaining 10% of the time. If a character rolls an impossibility (a male rolls a strictly female phobia), then reroll on the table appropriate to the character's sex. TABLE: Female Sexual Phobias Die Female Roll Sexual Phobias Fear of 01-03 Agaraphobia Sexual Abuse 04-06 Algophobia Sexual Pain 07-12 Androphobia Men 13-14 Anuptophobia Being single 15-17 Aphenphobia Physical Contact 18-22 Coitophobia Sex 23-24 Coitus More Ferarum Doggy-style sex 25-29 Coitus Oralis Oral sex 30-35 Cypridophobia Venerial Diseases 36-38 Dyspareunia Painful vaginal sex 39-41 Esodophobia Virginity 42-44 Gamophobia Marriage 45-47 Gymnophobia Naked bodies 48-50 Hedonophobia Pleasure 51 Heterophobia Heterosexuals 52-57 Homphobia Homosexuals 58-60 Ithyphallophobia Erect penises 61-63 Maieusiophobia Childbirth 64-65 Malaxophobia Flirting 66-67 Medectophobia Contour of a penis which is visible through clothing 68-69 Menophobia Menstration 70-74 Merinthophobia Being bound 75-77 Necrophobia Sex with the dead 78-79 Oneirogmophobia Wet dreams 80-82 Paraphobia Sexual Perversions 83-84 Phallophobia Male genitalia 85-87 Primeisodophobia Losing one's virginity 88-90 Proctophobia Rectal intercourse 91 Sarmassophobia Foreplay 92-93 Sexophobia Opposite Sex 94 Spermophobia Semen 95-96 Teratophobia Bearing a monster 97-100 Virgivitiphobia Rape TABLE: Male Sexual Phobias Die Male Roll Sexual Phobias Fear of 01-03 Agrophobia Sexual Abuse 04-06 Algophobia Sexual Pain 07-09 Anuptophobia Being single 10-11 Aphenophobia Physical Contact 12-14 Coitophobia Sex 15-17 Coitus Oralis Oral sex 18-20 Cyprianophobia Prostitutes 21-23 Cypridophobia Venerial Disease 24-25 Ejacuphobia Ejaculation 26-28 Esodophobia Virginity 29-31 Eurotophobia Female Genetalia 32-37 Gamophobia Marriage 38-39 Gymnophobia Naked Bodies 40-44 Gynophobia Women 45-48 Hedonophobia Pleasure 49-53 Malaxophobia Flirting 54-59 Medomalacophobia Losing an erection 60-62 Merinthophobia Being bound 63-67 Necrophobia Sex with the dead 68-71 Oneirogmophobia Wet dreams 72-76 Paraphobia Sexual perversions 77-80 Parenthenophobia Young girls, usually virgins 81-85 Penis Captivas Having one's penis held tightly be vaginal muscles 86-89 Primeisodophobia Losing one's virginity 90-92 Proctophobia Rectal intercourse 93-95 Sarmassophobia Foreplay 96-97 Sexophobia Opposite sex 98-100 Venustaphobia Beautiful women Unus-????mania - This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire and obsession, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex with a particular type of creature. The afflicted will furtively attempt to seduce this type of creature (still of the opposite sex), whenever the opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such opportunities. He/she will not desire to have sex with any other, even his/her own species; and will actually reek at the thought. When he/she has sex with such a creature, he/she likes the creature to do weird things relative to the creature's abilities and talents (see example below). Of course some creatures maybe harder to get a hold of then others. The table below is small and simplistic, GMs may add any creatures he wants. Roll (1d20) on the following table to get the type of creature that is desired: Mania Roll Name (????) Type of Creature 1 Daemon Demons * 2 Dimidiuselfe Half-elves 3 Divus Dieties, Demigods, etc 4 Draco Dragons * 5 Druidae Druids 6 Elfe Elves * 7 Giant Giants * 8 Gnome Gnomes 9 Gobla Goblins 10 Gole Golems * 11 Halfline Halflings 12 Homo Humans * 13 Lycanthrope Lycanthropes * 14 Magus Mages 15 Nanus Dwarfs * 16 Nequam Rogues 17 Ogra Ogres 18 Pugna Fighters 19 Sacerdos Clerics 20 Vates Bards * can be specific type Example: A person with unus-sacerdosmania insanity will have a desire to have sex with clerics. When having sex with cleric, he/she might want the cleric to pray. A person with unus-pugnamania will only have sex with fighters and might want the fighter to punch, scratch, and wrestle during sex. A person with unus-vatesmania will only have sex with bards and might want the bard to sing during sex. Uridpsomania - This bizarre insanity causes the character to have the desire to drink the urine of his/her partner. Check for an unhealthy disease each time he/she drinks. Voyeurism - The person affected by this insanity only has pleasure from observing the other's sexual organs or people having sex, especially in secret. Zoophilia - This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire and obsession, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex with a particular type of normal animal. The afflicted will furtively attempt to seduce this type of animal (still of the opposite sex), whenever the opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such opportunities. He/she will not desire to have sex with any other, even his/her own species; and will actually reek at the thought. The table below is small and simplistic, GMs may add any animals he wants. Roll (1d20) on the following table to get the type of creature that is desired: Roll Animal Roll Animal 1 dog 11 mule 2 horse 12 wolverine 3 pig 13 rhinoceros 4 cat 14 hippopotamus 5 monkey 15 boar 6 bear 16 bull 7 elephant 17 buffalo 8 skunk 18 goat 9 camel 19 sheep 10 lion 20 roll twice -ignore this ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ON SEX AND SEXUALITY IN THE REALMS "In general, there is a continent in the Realms is marked by sexual equality; females and males are equally educated, respected, valued, and eligible for all roles in society. This applies just as well to southern lands, in which men often have several wives while women have only one husband, although the Northerners and Southerners often misunderstand each others' social structures. This is typical of a widespread phenomenon throughout the Realms: in matters of courtship, marriage, sex, and reproduction, as in most matters, there is enough adventuring and trade that people are familiar with many foreign customs; nevertheless, most people consider their own customs to be civilized and proper, while all other customs are unjust and barbarian. There is a strong emphasis placed on the importance of marriage throughout the Realms, although courtship, marriage ceremonies, and family structures vary considerably. Marriage may be conducted by clerics of almost every church, and the marriages of all faiths are considered equally valid and binding. While sex is generally considered more blessed after marriage, there is very little social stigma in the lands of Faerun placed on premarital sex between consenting hetero-sexual adults. The prevailing attitude seems to be that a young woman and young man will choose (or be chosen for) one another, and that the same mutual feelings that would inspire them to have sex will lead them to want to be married. Of course, this ideal is often not satisfied. Trysts, whether tragic or comically gone awry, are a favorite subject of bards. Rape is all too common, and is strongly condemned by agents of Good, Chaos, and Law, as violations of personal rights, individual autonomy, and stable social order, respectively. Two variations in particular of this ideal face strong societal disapproval: interracial and homosexual relations. Interracial marriages are tacitly considered inferior. The elf who marries a human is considered to have married beneath her station; her spouse will die while she is still young, and her half-elven children will face great discrimination and will never fully be able to participate in their elven heritage. Similarly, half-orcs are considered somehow even more tainted than orcs, possibly because of the unspoken assumption that they are not only half-breed, but the half-breed offspring of rape. On a related note, although it is common knowledge that many people and beasts of the Realms owe their existence to crossbreeding of different species, we do not presently have an adequate explanation for why some species can crossbreed with others and some can not, nor why some crossbreeds, like mules, are sterile, and others, like half-elves, are not. Homosexual couples are almost unheard of in the Realms, and then they are a matter of scorn. Elm's scribe, is widely rumored to be Elm's lover, and the arrangement is only tolerated because of Elm's unapproachable high status and legendary eccentricity. Otherwise, homo- sexuality is only discussed in malicious gossip and histories of family scandals. Homosexuals are, however, rumored to be found in disproportionatly high numbers among certain groups, such as adventurers, who have often been driven to adventure because they couldn't quite fit into normal society, and the priesthoods of faiths which require celibacy, since the priests never need to explain their lack of interest in conventional marriage. Of course, most people believe homosexuality to be more common in groups they with which they have formed rivalries or are actively hostile. Organized groups are said to have formed in large cities, but their memberships and activities are highly guarded secrets. Little scholarly data are known about the actual frequency of homosexuals in the Realms, or about their relative distribution among men, among women, and among the various races, nations, and occupations. Sexual matters are not in the explicit portfolio of any major god in the Realms, although strong cases might be made for the bewitching goddess of beauty, and the sado-masochistically appealing goddess of pain. A small cult has begun to grow praising the name of the Lord of Sex and Carnality, whom I take to be either a new lesser power or else a more explicitly sexual aspect of a more established god. The use of magic in sex has been extremely limited, due in part to people's understandable reluctance to let mages or clerics experiment on their sexual organs or psyches. The spells listed above should be considered extremely rare. After all, only homosexuals and virulent homo-phoebes would be likely to have spent their lives researching spells concerning alternative sexualities, and even if such people are not as uncommon as we think, they are certainly difficult to discover. Most of the other known spells either use people's sexual desire as a weapon against them, or show a marked obsession with artificially enhancing the spellcaster's own sexual pleasure. Unfortunately, rare are sexual spells designed to help others overcome sexual dysfunctions or to enhance others' sexual pleasure, and it is this sage's humble opinion that the most fruitful sexual research lies in this direction." - Respectfully compiled by Spelling of Amn, Scholar, Sage, and Priest of Deneir, for the Preservation of Knowledge and Augmentation of Wisdom in the Realms - Reproduced for his Compatriot, Rick Dechance SPELLS WITH ZIP All spells are listed for magic-users, but most can be easily adjusted for clerical use and should be changed if need be. Spell levels are only provide as a measure for the spells in this guide. The spell levels don't represent spell levels of any given RPG system. Compare the power of the spells presented in this guide with the level of spells in your game system and adjust the level accordingly. Also, some may feel that certain spells are to powerful for the level given. Before making such judgements, a person should examine other spells of the same level and the level above. Level 0 - Cantrip Arousal Delay Orgasm Know Sexual Preference Mordenkainen's Lubrication Mount Pillow Talk Slap Sterility Sexual Attraction Tweak/Goose Unbutton/Unlace Wet Dream Level 1 Annihilator's Penis of Power! Blown Kiss Change Sexual Preference Charm Man I Davenet's Seduction Divine Sexual Orientation Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss Ecstasy Fascination Flash Freudian Thoughts Fyltar's Pheromonal Force Impotence Kiss of Charm Kiss Of Sleeping Kiss Of Wounding Masturbation Power Word, Rut PMS Reverse Sexual Orientation Revulsion Seduce Undead Seduction I Skank Level 2 Chastity Constant Orgasm Contraception Dance of Charm Homophobia Jealously Layla's Good Morning Kiss Kiss Of Weakness Neville's Wandering Hand Pornographic Glamer Protection From Intoxication Sexify/Enhance Comeliness Sleep Theft Transfer Charm Vampiric Kiss Voyeur Level 3 Kiss Of Slavery Kiss of Intoxication Leomund's Tiny Brothel Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes Sex Slave Stanza's Diseased Kiss Obsession Prowess Level 4 Angel's Negation Become Phantasmal Lover Bybig's Bitch Slap Layla's Morning After Kiss Layla's Seductive Impersonation Layla's Sexy Kiss of Insanity Lovesickness Power Word, Strip Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Disease Level 5 Embarrassing Fetish Layla's Beautification Reverse Gender Orientation Stanza's Certain Enchanted Kiss... Level 6 Conjure Succubus/Incubus Prismatic Dildo Sex Change Level 7 Impregnate Layla's Seductive Shapechange Level 8 Kiss Of The Nereid Power Word, Castrate Level 9 Heartbreaker Kiss Of Death Stanza's Kiss of Immortal Despair Summon Cissaldan Arousal (Enchantment) Reversible Level: Cantrip Range: Touch Components: V, S, M Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: creature touched Save: Neg. This spell creates a state of extreme horniness in the affected creature, including both biological and physiological effects, although said horniness is not directed towards anyone or anything in particular. The reverse of this spell, Disinterest, completely snuffs out any lust the recipient might be feeling. The material component for this spell is a sprig of mistletoe. Contraception (Abjuration) Level: Cantrip Range: Touch Components: S, M Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Save: None An alternative to the Sterility Cantrip for GMs that don't like 100% protection. This cantrip significantly decreases the probability of fertilization following coitus. This cantrip is cast after sexual activity. In some cases this may not be Lawful, and in some may not be considered Good. The cantrip is also not entirely perfect, offering only 95% certainty, according to the following table: Roll % Result 01-95 no fertilization 96 no fertilization anyway 97 one zygote 98 two zygotes (possibly identical) 99 1d6 zygotes 00 both partners pregnant (magic gone awry) The material component for this spell is a red cape or a red riding hood. Delay Orgasm (All Schools) Level: Cantrip Range: 10 yards Components: V, S Duration: 1 round/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: Neg. This cantrip delays any orgasm by 1 round per level of the caster. Thus, if the TTC indicates an orgasm, it doesn't go into effect until +1 round/level. Know Sexual Preference (Divination) Reversible Level: Cantrip Range: 10 yards Components: V, S Duration: 1 round/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature per 2 rounds Save: Neg. This cantrip enables the wizard to read the aura of a creature. The caster must remain stationary and concentrate on the subject for two full rounds. A creature is allowed a save vs. spell and, if successful, the caster learns nothing about the particular creature from the casting. Certain magical devices negate this cantrip. The reverse, undetectable sexual alignment, conceals the sexual preference of a creature for 24 hours - even from a know sexual preference cantrip. Mordenkainen's Lubrication (Conjuration) Level: Cantrip Range: 1 feet Components: V, S Duration: 10 minutes/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 10" X 3" (rumor has it that Mordenkainen needed this large amount of coverage) Save: None This cantrip covers an organic surface with a slippery layer of a greasy nature. Mount (Conjuration/Summoning) Level: Cantrip Range: 10 yards Components: V, S Duration: 2 hours/level Casting Time: 1 turn Area of Effect: 1 mount Save: None By means of this cantrip, the caster conjures a very attractive person of the opposite sex to serve him/her. The person serves willingly and well, but at the expiration of the cantrip duration it disappears, returning to its own place. The mount does not come with any gear or clothes. The mount can't do anything but perform basic sexual acts. This cantrip was created by conjurer apprentices to practice their art. It is only a cantrip because the conjured being, only serves one purpose (a fun purpose, but not a practical purpose). Pillow Talk (Alteration) Level: Cantrip Range: 10 feet Components: V, S Duration: 1 turn/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 pillow Save: None When this cantrip is cast, the wizard imbues the chosen pillow with an enchanted mouth. The mouthed pillow will only speak about sexual topics. The wizard has the option at cast time to decide the level of vargarity. The level varies from perverse smut to intellectual discussions on sexual techniques. Slap (All Schools) Level: Cantrip Range: 10 feet Components: V, S Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Save: Neg. Explanation: The victim of this spell feels a forceful slap across the cheek. Creatures must save vs. spell or be distracted for one segment, dazed by the blow (lose concentration of spells, etc.). Sterility (All Schools) Level: Cantrip Range: 10 feet Components: V, S Duration: 30 minutes/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Save: None This cantrip is the mages' form of birth control. It is 100% accurate and can be performed on anybody who consents to it prior to sexual activity. Clerics have high level spells to accomplish this, but only mages have such a simplistic form of birth control. Sexual Attraction (All Schools) Reversible Level: Cantrip Range: 10 feet Components: V, S Duration: 30 minutes/level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Save: None This cantrip causes the recipient to gain a +1 modifier for every three levels of the mage to charisma with respect to having sex. Thus, this spell won't effect any other aspects of charisma; only sex. Most mages cast the cantrip on his/her partner, so the partner is more desirable thus making it easier for the mage to perform. The reverse of this cantrip is Sexual Disgust. The modifier is -1 for every three levels of the mage rather than +1. Tweak/Goose (All Schools) Level: Cantrip Range: 10 feet Components: V, S Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Save: Special This cantrip causes the victim to feel the sensation of being "tweaked" or "goosed" as if by an unseen forefinger and thumb. The portion of the body being tweaked must be seen by the caster and be uncovered by armor. Victim's who are spellcasters must either save vs. spell or make an Intelligence check to avoid