---------------------------------------------------------------------- THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO ALCOHOL FOR FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES BY DESMOND WITH A LOT OF HELP FROM SOME FRIENDS If all be true that I do think, There are five reasons we should drink; Good wine - a friend - or being dry - Or lest we should be by and by - Or any other reason why. --- Henry Aldrich My manner of living is plain and I do not mean to be put out of it. A glass of wine and a bit of mutton are always ready. --- George Washington What harm in drinking can there be, Since punch and life so well agree. --- Blacklock Drunkenness is the vice of a good constitution, or of a bad memory! Of a constitution so treacherously good, that it never bends until it breaks; or of a memory that recollects the pleasures of getting drunk, but forgets the pains of getting sober. --- Colton A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou. --- Omar Khayyam He who drinks one glass of wine a day Will live to die some other way. --- Anon Their wine is the poison of dragons, and the cruel venom of asps. --- Deuteronomy 32:33 We made neere twentie gallons of wine. --- Capt. John Smith ----------------------------------------------------------------------- COPYRIGHT (C) 1994 All trademarks of products, company names, logos, phrases, service names, and/or slogans are trademarks of the respective companies, artists, and/or individuals, where applicable. Material presented in this document is for use with any fantasy role-playing game. However, references to the Player's Guide or Dungeon Master's Guide refers to core books of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons role-playing game. Advanced Dungeons and Dragons is a registered trademark if TSR inc. References to TSR products are not meant to infringe on copyright laws but are to gain support for AD&D products. The following guide is the property of its author, who hereby states that he retains the copyright except for where noted. You may distribute it at will, provided that nothing in the guide, this notice, or any of the credits are altered in any way; and that you do not make a profit from it. This document is not for sale and is made available for private game use only. *** DISCLAIMER *** All contents of this guide are presented for game purposes only. In no way is this guide intended to persuade people of any age to drink alcoholic beverages or to persuade people to reproduce fantasy creations in real life. The author of the guide does not condone the use of alcohol, especially for those under the legal age. Hopefully, information presented in this guide will educated on the dangers of alcohol. In fact, it would be preferred that people use this guide to allow thier fictitious characters to indulge in the use of alcohol in place of them. A character can be thrown in the trash, a person is a lot harder to dispose of. In no way will the author of this guide or the contributors of this guide be held responsible for other persons' actions. Advice oriented information is not to be taken as legal consultation or legal service, but as suggestions and examples of real- world or hypothetical models. Always consult a lawyer for legal and lawful guidance. The opinions and views contained in this guide reflect those of the individual authors. The opinions, content, and organization of this magazine are in no way connected with the faculty and staff of any educational institute where this guide was found. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TABLE OF CONTENTS Initial Reactions To The Guide Preface Introduction To Alcohol Proficiency In Brewing Proficiency In Wine-Making Proficiency In Distilling Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Distilleries When The Still Explodes Effects Of Alcohol Recovery From Intoxication Stimulants for Recovering From Intoxication A More Sinister Side Of Drinking: Alcohol Addiction Alcoholic Diseases Crazy Drunk: A Look At Dipsomania Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Non-Weapon Proficiencies Not A Typical Assortment Of Weapons Getting To Know Your Booze Spells With A Twist Of Lime Lohocla's Tome of Ultimate Chaos Popular & Strange Alcohols Amongst The Worlds Alcohol Drink Additives Extracts From the Net Poison Digest No Guide Is Complete Without Magic-Items (MAGIC-ITEM) La Bouteille Magique de Chandon (Chandon's Amazing Bottle) (MAGIC-ITEM) Dionysus's Chaotic Arrows (MONSTER) What A Cute Rodent (MONSTER) Hey Bartender, There's A Fish In My Drink (MONSTER) Have A Picnic With These Ants (MONSTER) The Best, The Beast (MONSTER) Woof, Woof, Hiccup (MONSTER) A Little Worm Can't Hurt (MONSTER) A Monk's Best Friend and a Life Saver: The Saint Bernard (MONSTER) I Think I Saw a Pink Elephant!!! (MONSTER) A Horse is a Horse of Course: The Clydesdales (MONSTER) What Just Flew in My Drink? An Alcohol Hummingbird (MONSTER) Yo-Ho-Ho and a Bottle of Rum, A New Sea-Side Skeleton (MONSTER) That Lich is a Luch (MONSTER) A Dragon With More Than A Drinking Problem The Guardian Of Alcohol Is A Leprechaun? The Alcohol Deities Holy/Unholy Alcohol Alcohol Organizations Of All Sorts Revenuer: Fighter Kit Non-Player Characters & Their Work Taverns And Bars From Campaigns Taverns And Bars From Novels Story Time Glossary Drinking Songs Some Famous And Not So Famous Quotes On Wine Other Related Reading Materials Special Thanks UPDATED: 07/28/94 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- INITIAL REACTIONS TO THE GUIDE "NO THANKS." --- TSR's DRAGON magazine "It looks GREAT. You are to be commended on a really terrific job. You have outdone yourself. Enough cliches. I really liked it. Thanks." --- Mr. Blackheart "Great stuff. See ya round." --- Mr. Scott "...I think it is not big... it's GREAT." ---Mr. Fernando "I have several requests from our gaming (or gamey depending on how you look at it) group for your work. It's a hit...! Congrats...! --- Mr. Scott ----------------------------------------------------------------------- PREFACE In December '91, I began to make a small informative guide about alcohol based on discussions of the ADND-L list (an electronic mail forum for AD&D). It was a small project that served the purposes of the time. In '92 I worked on other guides with the help of others and they turned into nice guides. I hoped to create a great guide with more useful material than any guide of the past by re-working my initial alcohol stuff, and so The Complete Guide To Alcohol was reborn. I requested some help on the list for people to look it over. Well, this caused quite a stir and I realized that the guide was very incomplete as suggestions for more sections started pouring in. Over a few months, ideas, comments, criticisms, and additions kept coming. I even established a small mailing list to correspond to these people. Eventually, this final product was reached. One objective in making the guide was to make the guide informative. Information is as valuable if not more valuable than just rules. You might just learn a thing or two as well. However, there are plenty of rules in the guide for those who like them. To satisfy all gamers, attempts were made to have an extensive guide filled with stuff. This guide will add a new and often times funny dimension to any campaign. The key is funny. One objective was to try and keep it light and fun. There are real-world problems with alcohol, but AD&D is a fantasy world where the purpose is fun and recreation. This guide is extensive enough that there should be something for everybody. And if not, then you can just throw it away (it's not like you had to pay for it). For the most part, the material enclosed will have been play-tested and in a workable form. In others, you may have to make further adjustments to fit the ideas into your campaign. All rules are optional and whatever is needed by the GM should be used. It is suggested that you at least try to use everything and see how it goes. If it works well then use it, if not get rid of it. I would be interested in knowing the results and any changes you've made. This material is the fruit of my labor with special assistance from a few people of ADND-L. Although most material is my own, it is not all my own. Some material was submitted from others, and I merely edited it. Also, many people inspired much of the guide (especially Vinnie in the beginning). Plus, they made a considerable amount of suggestions, comments, and criticisms (especially Ronald and The Phantom near the end). Acknowledgment to these people is given in the Special Thanks section of this guide. I would acknowledge them at the beginning of the guide, but the acknowledgments are specific and would be confusing if not read after reading the guide. For those that do have a copy, I ask that you drop me a line with your comments whether good or bad. I like to know what people liked and what they hated. Because I plan to make continuous updates, I would appreciate that people do not make the guide available via FTP sites because they tend to accumulate old out-of-date versions. I would appreciate that my name as well as those in the Special Thanks section are not removed, changed, or altered since we are the ones who deserve credit our names should remain with the guide. Of course I can't really stop anybody from doing what they want. I just ask that you respect those who made this guide possible because I'm sure that they will continue to make great material for AD&D. As a final comment, I would like you to know that I am continuing to add new material to this guide and would appreciate any contributions that you could bring. You have a copy and can see which sections could use more development. If there is something missing that you would like to see then make it or let me know what you want. Only through your assistance can this guide continue to grow. Desmond P.S. Much criticism has been aimed at the guides that I create. Some feel that characters are forced to roll instead of role-play. Some feel that its contradictory to increase role-playing by adding more tables. I don't think that some rules hamper role-playing. A lot of players don't like bad things to happen to their characters and will prevent these things to happen. Having the rules on getting drunk and having hangovers allows the GM to ensure that the character suffers, but suffers fairly. Of course the player must still role-play the drunk character, but now he will know what abilities are effected. On the same note, I find that tables like the hangover table gives the characters something to work with instead of just saying he has a hangover. Rolling on the table and finding out you are vomiting can be fun. The character still must role-play (e.g. he feels the urge to puke and runs outside only to find that he upchucks on the captain of the city watch). It just helps to give the players some direction. Being free to let a character do anything in the name of role-playing isn't right for AD&D. AD&D has many rules and to criticize rules that others make isn't fair. Why not criticize the combat system, spell casting, and such (of course some of you do)? You could say that the limitations put on spells hampers role-playing. Why not let characters flourish with dramatic spell-use that isn't encumbered with rules? My point is that some rules are to much, but using certain ones that you like at the right time will enhance role-playing by giving players something to work with. Its your game so do what you want. There are many types of players around, some like rules others don't. I just put everything in my guides based on what people ask for. I don't limit the guide to just what I want. I just don't use what I like. I use what people want and suggest. Another complaint is that there is to much work for the GM to use the rules interactivly. The problem is that the GM will have to look at lots of tables and ask players to roll dice and it breaks the game rhythm, but if he just passes a note or tells a player "the next morning you feel very sick and wake-up with a terrible headache" it is quick and the players have the opportunity of giving good role playing. I feel that there is already a lot of dice rolling in AD&D. To make a statement about saying "dice rolling in a tavern will hamper role- playing" is like saying "to much dice rolling in combat hampers role- playing". I don't think rolling a few dice while in a tavern will impede role-playing. It is not like the dice rolling is an addition to other dice rolling. Most players don't have many opportunities to roll dice while characters visit a tavern. So this minimal amount of dice rolling for alcohol reasons should not restrict role-playing. Besides good GMs can allow the players to assists in examining tables and rolling dice so it goes by quickly. I would like to quote a friend who seems to say it all about people's complaints: "I think all those that complain that the guides are too strict or difficult to roll are a wee too steeped in the judicial side of the game, i.e. following the rules to the letter. I suppose someone ought to mention that what you're doing is creating guides for those who want to have a bit more realism in certain situations, not creating rules that MUST be played. In general, I've found a lot of useful ideas contained in your guides which can be used or abused to make my games more enjoyable. Thanks for collecting all of this stuff." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- INTRODUCTION TO ALCOHOL Beer after wine is not recommended. Wine after beer is praised. --- Anon People of the ancient world began to make alcoholic beverages not because they wanted to become intoxicated, but for more practical reasons. One reason was that there were very few ways in which food could be preserved (with magic being one way, but common people are limited in this regard). The people of those times found that fruit juice soon spoiled, but that fermented juice, or wine, would keep. The alcohol produced by the fermentation stopped the growth of the bacteria which spoiled the juice. They also noticed that persons who drank fermented liquors did not become sick as often as those that drank water or unfermented beverages. This was not because alcoholic drinks themselves were healthful, but many springs and wells were impure and the drinking of the water caused sickness and death. Another factor that made alcohol popular is that the majority of the population was poor and they spent the little money they had on alcoholic drinks to escape from their sad reality. Brewing and wine making are very important to civilization. Beer and ale are the principal beverages of the poor. Wines in great variety are served at the tables of the rich. Many religious establishments use wine during their services. Liquor is one of the products with which the lords pay their debts under the feudal system. Merchant guilds control the beer and wine trades and regulate business practices. Of course, there are some societies who adhere to the principal of total abstinence from alcohol, or "teetotalism". The term "teetotal" was suppose to be used first in one local society which had two classes of members: those abstaining only from spirits, whose names were marked O.P. (old pledge which allows wines and beers which seems necessary to substitute the dangerous, polluted water) on the roll, and those who included wine (i.e. no alcohol of any type) in their pledge. The latter were identified with the letter T for Total. Beer The common word "beer" seems to be derived throughout the known realms from the word "bibere", meaning "to drink". Amongst the various races, the base of the word is the mostly the same but the spelling is somewhat different. Beer is known as "bier" to the dwarves, "biere" to the elves, "bierra" to the gnomes, "bir" to the halflings, and "biru" to those in the Orient. Beer is a beverage obtained by the yeast-caused fermentation of a malted cereal, usually barley malt, to which hops and water have been added. Among the earliest records of its use is a Ancient Baklunish tablet, inscribed with a cuneiform recipe for the "wine of the grain". The origin of beer brewing, however, has not been determined; nor is it known whether bread or beer was invented first. The ancients are thought to have the first to render barley more suitable for brewing by malting, a process in which the barley grains are germinated, developing the enzymes that transform starch into fermentable sugars. Types of Beer Lager is a pale, medium-hop-flavored beer that averages 3.3 to 3.4 percent alcohol by weight and is high in carbonation. Lager is kept for several months at a temperature of about 33 degrees Fahrenheit in order to mellow. One of the problems faced by most brewers of lager is the necessity of storing the beer in a cool, undisturbed place for several months after brewing. The usual solution was the use of underground caves, where such were available or could be made. An extract from the diary of an adventurer: "We've recently discovered a mammoth cave complex that apparently was connected to a long lost Brewery. Our party consists of 8 people. We all carried torches, which were necessary to properly illuminate the dark recesses, and to enable one to find his way out into daylight, should he chance to stray away from the others. After passing through several long cellars, with flagged with stone and roofs arched brick, and lined on either side with rows of huge puncheons, we plunged still deeper into the bowels of the earth, only to find still longer and more numerous arched passages, all lined with the same enormous puncheons, and the puncheons all filled with foaming lager beer, not the typical treasure of our ilk but treasure just the same. The mapper figures the dimensions are 15 feet in width and 12 to 15 feet in height, built of brick and totaling 600 feet of tunnel. With a capacity of close to 100,000 barrels. It really is exciting to discover these caves. I recall one brewery that was named 'Cave Brewery', its cave covered an area of one mile and were three stories deep." The temperature of caves like this one was not always cold enough and in many cases ice had to be used, particularly during the summer months, to assure the proper level for the beer being stored. This was easy enough where ice could be cut from a frozen river or lake and kept for summer needs. Ice could be a very profitable business by clever entrepreneurs. Of course, ice isn't necessary for smart brewers. One master brewer began brewing beer and had his cellar "so near an aceqia, irrigation trench, that the flow of the water kept the brew cold. Another ingenious fellow enslaved a few dozen ice toads to do his bidding in his storage areas. Of course, there are many more monsters that if used properly could be of great service. And one shouldn't have to mention the use of magic. A seasonal dark-brown beer, bock, owes its color to a roasting of the malt, and is heavier and richer in taste than lager. Stout, a very dark beer, is brewed with a combination of roasted and regular malt and has a strong hop taste. Another dark beer, porter, is a mixture of ale and beer which makes a sweet, malty brew, with a 6 to 7 percent alcohol content. Malt liquor is a beer made from a high percentage of fermentable sugars that are largely derived from malt. The resulting beverage has a higher alcohol content (5 to 9 percent by weight) than regular beer. The flavor is mildly fruity and spicy, without a hint of hops. Ale Ale is brewed from the same basic ingredients as lager beer; the difference in flavor is caused in part by a different strain of yeast. Ale yeast ferments at higher temperatures than lager and imparts a distinctive tang and a somewhat higher alcohol content. Also, it is generally brewed with more hops than beer, giving it the tart taste. Ale has a pale color which comes from the use of a light-colored malt, generally barley. Of course, ale is the drink of the dwarf, as they were the first race in recorded history to brew it. Mead Mead is an intoxicating alcoholic beverage made by fermenting honey and water, sometimes with fruit and spices added as flavorings. With beer and ale, mead is one of the oldest of fermented drinks. Mead is favorite drink of the elf. Elves are thought to be the founders of mead and given its sweet nature, they are given the credit. Wine Wine is an alcoholic beverage made from fermented grape juices. Growing grapes for wine is one of the world's most important farming activities, and is a major feature of the economy of many wine-producing countries. Most wines are named after the geological places that they are produced. For example, a very popular sparkling wine throughout the world is Champagne, the small wine community that invented the champagne method for creating fortified wines. Wine had a more practical reason in the beginning than the mere pleasure of drinking. Ancient peoples had little pure water to drink, and they learned that alcohol formed by fermentation protected fruit juice from spoiling. The people who drank this fermented juice, or wine, did not get sick so often as those who drank the impure water. This reason for wine drinking continues down to the present day in many parts of the world. Many people take wine as part of their regular diet and use it instead of water for drinking. Bards have sung the praises of wine throughout the ages. They write of the friendliness of wine. Many clerics write of the intoxicating powers of wine. One such reference is "Look not upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his color in a cup... at the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder". Another reference is "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging". Some gods of wine are also looked on as the god of good living, a lawgiver, and a promoter of civilization. Wine also has come down through the ages as part of religious celebrations. Light Light wines may be either red, white, or rose and also dry, medium, or sweet. For red wine, the grapes are crushed immediately after picking and the stems generally removed. The yeasts present on the skin come in contact with the grape sugars, and fermentation begins naturally. Cultured yeasts, however, are sometimes added. During fermentation the sugars are converted by the yeasts to ethyl alcohol and carbon dioxide. The alcohol extracts color from the skins; the longer the vatting period, the deeper the color. Traditional maturation of red wine takes up to two years in 50-gallon oak casks, during which time the wine is racked - drawn off its lees, or sediment -three or four times into fresh casks to avoid bacterial spoilage. Further aging is usually advisable after bottling. The juice of most grape varieties is colorless. Grapes for white wine are also pressed immediately after picking, and the must starts to ferment. Fermentation can proceed until it is completed, which will make a dry white wine; or it can be stopped to make a sweeter wine. Minimum contact with the air retains the freshness of the grapes. To make rose wines, the fermenting grape juice is left in contact with the skins just long enough for the alcohol to extract the required degree of color. Vinification then proceeds as for white wine. Sparkling The best and most expensive sparkling wines are made by the champagne method, in which cultured yeasts and sugar are added to the base wine, inducing a second fermentation in the bottle. The resulting carbon dioxide is retained in the wine. Other methods, however, such as carbonation, are also practiced. Fortified The alcohol content of fortified wines is raised by adding grape spirits. With port, brandy added during fermentation kills off the yeasts, stopping fermentation, and leaves the desired degree of natural grape sugar in the wine. Sherry is made by adding spirit to the fully fermented wine. Its color, strength, and sweetness are then adjusted to the required style before bottling. Aromatized Aromatized wines are famous for their distinctive odor, called bouquet. It results from the addition of aromatic herbs and spices to the wine. Such wines have an alcoholic content of 15 to 20 percent. Serving Wine Many persons prefer to serve only one wine with a meal, usually a dry wine. When a number of wines are served with a formal dinner, they are served in the following manner. Sherry is served with the appetizer or soup. Any dry white wine goes well with fish or seafood. Meat courses are best accompanied by any dry red wine. A dry white wine should be served with creamed dishes. A sparkling or sweet wine is good for dessert. Bottle Storage Wine bottles should be laid on their side to prevent the corks from drying out and the air getting at the wine. There should be no great fluctuation in temperature: 55-60 degrees Fahrenheit for reds, 50-55 degrees Fahrenheit for whites being ideal. Humidity should be 70 to 80 percent, and the storage place should be free from drafts, light, and vibration. Liquor Distilled Brandy is obtained by distilling wine or a fermented fruit mash, after it has been aged in oak casks. The alcohol content of brandy is 45 to 55 percent. Whiskey is distilled from a fermented mash of corn, rye, barley, or wheat. It is then aged in wooden barrels. Whiskey has an alcohol content ranging from 40 to 54 percent. Whiskey is designated as straight or blended. Straight whiskey is the pure distillate, which is reduced or cut, to the desired alcohol strength with distilled water. Blended whiskey is straight whiskey blended with pure alcohol. Rum is distilled fermented mash of sugar cane or molasses. Compounded Compounded liquors are pure distilled spirits which have been flavored with various seeds, roots, leaves, flowers, or fruits. Gin is made by distilling a mash of rye, corn, or other grain in a special kind of still called a pot still. Juniper berries give the gin flavor. The alcohol content of gin is about 40 percent. Cordial is made by combining some spirit such as brandy with sugar and certain flavorings, Examples of the fruit cordials are apricot, blackberry, cherry, raspberry, and strawberry liqueurs. plant cordials include creme de menthe (flavored with mint), creme de casso (whose flavor is obtained from cascao and vanilla beans), and creme de rose (flavored with vanilla and essential oil of rose petals). ----------------------------------------------------------------------- PROFICIENCY IN BREWING God loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson Introduction The character with the Brewing proficiency is trained in the art of brewing beers and other strong drinks. The character can prepare brewing formulas, select quality ingredients, set up and manage a brewery, control fermentation, and age the finished product. The Process Of Brewing Brewing is the making of fermented alcoholic beverages, such as beer and ale, from cereal grains. The term brewing is usually applied to all the steps in the process of making beer and ale, but actually the operation has two steps, malting and brewing. Malting is the preparation of the grain for the brewing. The grain, usually wheat or barley, is soaked in water for 48 to 76 hours. The water is drained and replaced with fresh water at least once a day. When the grain is soft, it is piled in heaps. Here the grain starts to sprout small root shoots. This is called germination. When the sprouting starts, the grain is spread out to a depth of about ten inches. When the sprouts are about two-thirds the length of the grain, the germination is halted by placing the grain in an oven called a dry kiln. The grain, or malt as brewers call it at this stage, is then baked dark and crisp in temperatures ranging 155 degrees to 220 degrees Fahrenheit. The lower temperatures are used in making light beer, and the higher temperatures for dark beer. Brewing begins after the dry malt is crushed between rollers and mixed with water to form a mash. The mash is made thinner with hot water and brought to a temperature of 145 degrees Fahrenheit. The mash is stirred constantly at this temperate. During this stage of brewing the beer or ale undergoes chemical changes which make the exact temperature very important. The heat is increased slowly to about 160 degrees Fahrenheit. This liquid, called wort, is then drained from the grain, or grist. Hops made from the dried flowers of the hop vine are then added to the wort and the mixture is boiled for one to six hours. One to twelve pounds of hops are mixed with every hundred gallons of wort. The hops keep the beverage from spoiling and also add flavor to it. The boiled wort is cooled and placed in fermenting vats. About five pounds of yeast are added to each one hundred gallons of wort. Most beer is made with bottom fermentation, using a yeast that becomes active at temperatures from 43 degrees to 46 degrees Fahrenheit and stays at the bottom of the fermentation vat. Top fermentation is used for ale, porter, and stout. A yeast is used which becomes active at temperatures from 60 degrees to 68 degrees Fahrenheit. After fermenting several days, the wort is run into a settling vat. The yeast rises to the surface and is skimmed off. The beer is then drawn off and stored in casks and barrels to age before being bottled. Proficiency A normal proficiency check is not made because normal proficiency checks only judge success or failure and not quality. Instead the percentile dice are rolled to decide the quality of the brew (using Table 1). An initial modifier of 6 will guarantee that a brewer will never make a terrible drink. A one time modifier equal to Wisdom is added. Also for each slot given to this proficiency, a modifier equal to Intelligence is added. TABLE 1: Quality Of Brew Die Roll Quality 01-05 Terrible 06-15 Very Poor 16-35 Poor 36-65 Normal 66-85 Good 86-95 Very Good 96-00 Excellent Thus, our hero Rath (Intelligence: 15, Wisdom: 8) has three non-weapon proficiency slots allocated to brewing because he hopes to be a master brewer some day and retire from the life of adventuring. He decides to whip up a batch of malt liquor beer. After completing the brewing process, it is time to sample the quality of Rath Malt Liquor Beer. He rolls a mere 13 on the percentile dice, which would normally produce a poor (13+6=19) quality brew. However, due to Rath's experience, Intelligence (3*15=45), and Wisdom (8); he gains a modifier of 53. Therefore, the quality of Rath's beer is good (72). ----------------------------------------------------------------------- PROFICIENCY IN WINE-MAKING Bier is Menschenwerk, Wein is von Gott! Beer is made by men, wine by God! --- Martin Luther Introduction The character with the Wine-Making proficiency is trained in the art of fermenting fruits and making the various wines from them. The character can prepare wine formulas, select quality ingredients, set up and manage a winery, control fermentation, and age the finished product. The Process Of Wine-Making Wine is the fermented juice of the grape or some other fruit. Some fruit juice ferments easily because it already contains sugar. The more widely used fruits are the grape, apple, cherry, and blackberry. The quality and quantity of fruits depend on geographical geological, and climatic conditions in the vineyards, and on the grape variety and methods of cultivation. Some of these factors may be governed by local laws. The crop is harvested in the autumn when the grapes contain the optimum balance of sugar and acidity. Wine falls into two general groups, dry and sweet, depending on the taste and the percentage of sugar remaining or after fermentation. Wine grapes are crushed, but not enough to crush the seeds. The must, or juice from the crushing, is run into vats which hold from 25 to 100 barrels. The juice is then allowed to ferment the length of time needed for the type of wine wanted. The first must that flows from the crushed fruit makes the choicest wines, and is drawn of first. When the fermentation has gone on to the stage desired, the wine is drawn off into casks called tuns. It remains in these casks until it is suitable for drinking. It is in this stage that the chemical changes take place which fix the bouquet, or flavor or aroma, of the wine. Dry wines are made by allowing most of the sugar to turn into alcohol. The sweetness of sweet wines comes from the sugar allowed to remain in the wine. Proficiency A normal proficiency check is not made because normal proficiency checks only judge success or failure and not quality. Instead the percentile dice are rolled to decide the quality of the wine (using Table 1). An initial modifier of 6 will guarantee that a wine maker will never make a terrible wine. A one time modifier equal to Wisdom is added. For each slot given to this proficiency, a modifier equal to Intelligence is added. TABLE 1: Quality Of Wine Die Roll Quality 01-05 Terrible 06-15 Very Poor 16-35 Poor 36-65 Normal 66-85 Good 86-95 Very Good 96-00 Excellent Thus, our hero Roxanna (Intelligence: 15, Wisdom: 8) has three non-weapon proficiency slots allocated to wine making because she hopes to be a master wine maker some day and retire from the life of adventuring. She decides to whip up a batch of light, sweet, red, apple wine (one of her favorites). After completing the wine making process, it is time to sample the quality of Roxanna Apple Dimple' Wine. She rolls a mere 13 on the percentile dice, which would normally produce a poor (13+6=19) quality wine. However, due to Roxanna's experience, Intelligence (3*15=45), and Wisdom (8); she gains a modifier of 53. Therefore, the quality of her wine is good (72). ----------------------------------------------------------------------- PROFICIENCY IN DISTILLING Introduction The character with the Distilling proficiency is trained in the art of distilling hard liquor. The character can prepare distilling formulas, select quality ingredients, set up and manage a distillery, control fermentation, and age the finished product. The Process Of Distilling Distillation is the process in which a complex mixture or substance is broken up into relatively pure or individual components by being heated until the components vaporize one by one and are made to condense individually. The next section of this guide deals extensively with the process. Proficiency Two proficiency checks are made. The first is a normal 1d20 check. Success or failure is irrelevant. The still will explode on a natural roll of 20. The second check is not a normal proficiency check because normal proficiency checks only judge success or failure and not quality. Instead the percentile dice are rolled to decide the quality of the brew (using Table 1). An initial modifier of 6 will guarantee that a brewer will never make a terrible drink. A one time modifier equal to Wisdom is added. Also for each slot given to this proficiency, a modifier equal to Intelligence is added. TABLE 1: Quality Of Liquor Die Roll Quality 01-05 Terrible 06-15 Very Poor 16-35 Poor 36-65 Normal 66-85 Good 86-95 Very Good 96-00 Excellent Thus, our hero Rath (Intelligence: 15, Wisdom: 8) has three non-weapon proficiency slots allocated to distilling because he hopes to be a master illegal distiller some day and retire from the life of adventuring. He decides to whip up a batch of whiskey. After completing the distilling process, it is time to sample the quality of Rath Daniels Whiskey. He rolls a mere 13 on the percentile dice, which would normally produce a poor (13+6=19) quality brew. However, due to Rath's experience, Intelligence (3*15=45), and Wisdom (8); he gains a modifier of 53. Therefore, the quality of Rath's whiskey is good (72). ----------------------------------------------------------------------- EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT DISTILLERIES *** IMPORTANT NOTE *** It is a federal felony to actually use this information to build your own still and produce alcohol. The information presented here is simply for informative, educational and game-use only. In no way is this document meant to persuade people to actually produce illegal alcohol. It is ill advised to do so, but if you must there are legal ways to do so. It is possible, in special cases, to get a permit to build an experimental still, work on solar power, or power an alcohol gassed automobile. If you decide you want more information, look in the library under fuel alcohol, distillery, or wine making. Have fun but please use discretion. The following is a large excerpt from a discussion about distilleries with Jesse Duke, Master Bootlegger. Jesse is considered one of the finest moonshiners in the land. Although he operated illegally, many law enforcers overlooked his operations for just a sip of his elixir while others hunted him down because he was considered the prize catch. Now retired, Jesse lives of the riches of his successful career. His love now is telling tales for all who will listen of his many adventures. Many sages have regarded him as an expert on distillation. Unfortunately, nobody can get Jesse to put his knowledge on paper. At least we can listen to him... "So you want to know about a still do you? Well, I suppose I'm the expert around these parts. Your not with the law are you? Of course, I'm in retirement now and don't distill, except for medicinal reasons. A still is a very old, very simple concept. It has been postulated that perhaps the reason that people actually started farming was in order to produce an excess of grain from which to produce alcohol. At any rate beer is made simply from fermenting most any grain starch. Whiskey, hard liquor, or other distilled drinks are made by removing water from the base material. If you distill beer you have whiskey, wine wields brandy, potato mash wields vodka. The technology to do this is available among almost any people's that are capable of speech it seems. All that is required is a source of heat, a cooking vessel, and some sort of cooling element. The principle of the distillery, or still for short, is that water boils (i.e. becomes vapor) at 100 degrees Celsius (212 Fahrenheit). Alcohol (ethyl alcohol that is) on the other hand boils at about 73 degrees Celsius (170 Fahrenheit). If a liquid contains both water and alcohol and is heated to a temperature somewhere between these boiling points then it is possible to drive off the alcohol and leave the water behind. Now all that is left to do is capture these intoxicating vapors to increase the percentage of joy in the drink. How is this done? The absolute simplest way is to place a freshly fermented, malted drink (beer in the raw) into a container and heat it. Seal the container except for a single tube/pipe/etc. leading away and into a tub of water. At the other end, allow the tube to empty into a cup or jug that has been set in a bed of ice. This is not the safest, or easiest still to run, it is the simplest. Constant care must be taken of the temperature, as there are no safe guards against overheating the beer (thus boiling off a good bit of water too) or an explosion. This can be caused by the careless who don't clean the equipment properly. A build up in the tubing can cause the pot to build up steam, and the you can say "Good night!" The basic workings of the still are as follows. The pot is the containment vessel for the crude fermented beverage. A heat source is applied to the bottom of this to drive vapor out of the top vent pipe. This then leads more or less directly to the worm. The worm is a coil of tubing which acts to cool the vapor back into a liquid, which will hopefully be noticeably more intoxicating than the original material. A pressure gauge and/or valve can be added to the pot as a safety measure. A thermometer/rheostat can also be added to the pot to more closely control the temperature for optimum performance. However as hundreds of years of backwoods moonshining can attest, there is no need for such extravagances to produce good quality liquor. The worm can be made from almost anything. At one point car radiators were popular, however due to their less than clean nature, this is HIGHLY unrecommendable. The lead used in soldiering at the manufacturer can also easily react with alcohol to produce lead nitrates and other nasties that can permanently relieve you of the necessity of sight. More common, and safer is a quarter inch diameter copper tube, wound into a coil, and submersed in a barrel or bathtub of cold, slowly running water. A heat source should be diffuse if possible, a common trick was to place the pot on a piece of slate, then use a wood fire to heat the slate. This produced an even, slow heat that tended to prevent scorching of the grain sediment and eventually leaving a burnt taste to the end product. Improvements are constantly being made to this basic design. One of the most revolutionary, and important additions is that of the thumper keg. When this is added to a still, it halves the distilling time and doubles the final proof of the beverage. The thumper keg is nothing more than a second pot which is not directly heated. Hot vapors from the real pot are piped over into the bottom of the thumper keg. The vapors then percolate through the thumper keg's hold of new crude alcohol. As it cools the vapor, water is drawn from the vapor. As the thumper keg's liquid warms, more alcohol is vaporized. Thus, when the vapors finally leave the top of the thumper keg, they have essentially been processed twice. Before the advent of the thumper keg, the crude mash would first be run for "singlings". These singlings would be run through the still a second time to produce the final whiskey. Now it was possible to produce a high quality, high alcohol content liquor on the very first run. An additional attachment was invented long before the thumper keg, but is attached after it in the normal sequence of the still. This is the dry box. Simply said, it is a air-sealed box that takes the vapors from the thumper keg (or the pot, if a thumper keg is not used) and sends the vapors out the other side. In the mean time, the vapors have cooled slightly and water has condensed on the inside of the box. (Please note that this box is empty, thus "dry", except for the vapors passing through it.) The box is so angled that any water condensing inside runs through a pipe back to the thumper keg or pot. There should be three pipes attached to this dry box. One leads out of the box towards the worm, one leads out of the box into the thumper keg, and one from the thumper keg to the dry box. The reason there are two pipes between the dry box and thumper keg is to prevent a back log of liquid and a build up of pressure in the dry box. The pipe meant for the return of water to the thumper keg should be visibly lower to gravity than the pipe meant primarily for transportation of steam/alcohol vapor. Water from the dry box can be alternatively bled out onto the ground, or into a nearby stream, but it may still contain some alcohol, and for this reason it is often simply cycled back into the still. The worm is probably the most important piece of the still, as far as final quality goes. All the careful care in the world can be put into making sure that the pot doesn't get too hot, the still can be clean as a whistle every time you run it, and if the worm is nothing more than gunky, disgusting, rusty piece of metal, your liquor will suck. Besides, that's not how they did it in the good old days, right? They used wooden kegs for the pot and thumper keg, and chances are that they used a can in place of a coil. A can is a sort of sleeve that has an input opening in one side for the vapor, and an output port for the leaving liquor. Basically it looked like a very thick walled can without the top or bottom. This allowed the cooling water to flow over a lot of surface area. It isn't easy to make something like this. It would involve a good bit of soldering with plumbers solder (i.e. no lead) and two large, closely matched cans. Perhaps a better way is to use copper tubing, coiled and submerged in a contained of water. (The can has to be submerged in cold water too by the way.) This coil of copper tubing is what is most commonly referred to as the worm. That is the basics of the hardware. There are other nifty little adaptations that can be added but each requires a bit more technology than the last, so we'll keep it simple. Next is needed the knowledge of how to actually take field corn and produce drinkable white lightening from it. The true artists will insist that it be done with grain, and grain alone, while the pragmatist will say that adding sugar really doesn't affect taste that much and greatly increases the yield. You can decide for yourself whether sugar should be used or not. First you need starter stock. Take 10% of whatever amount of corn your going to work with and place it in a warm damp spot for about a week. Perhaps you will keep it in jars behind the stoves (don't allow the seeds to become submerged, they can drown believe it or not) in a burlap sack buried in a manure pile (please, please wash them VERY well) or whatever. After they have sprouted with 3-4 inch growths (and preferably before the leaves break free of their casings) grind them up. For small batches a sharp knife and cutting may work. Larger batches may require a meat grinder or something. This will act as an enzyme to start breaking starch down into sugar. Next thing that needs done (and should be down simultaneously with making the starter) is to grind up the other 90% of your corn. You might try buying ready round corn meal, maybe use that meat grinder again, perhaps soak the corn in water then try to grind them up. Whatever works for you. Then mix the ground corn with water to make a mix that won't quite hold a spoon straight up. About a gallon of mashed corn to three gallons of water, or less if you have already soaked the corn in water prior to grinding. Now heat this grain/water till it is almost boiling, keep it simmering for 10 to 30 minutes. Then let it slowly cool, when you can comfortably put a finger in it, mix in the starter. Stir this around for another 20 to 30 minutes. Keep it warm during this time. If you desire (and it is a good idea to do this) yeast can be added at this point. Best thing to do is get brewer's yeast at a store that sells supplies for making wine, and then culturing the yeast in sugar water as per instructions with the package (if any). Otherwise you can use regular baker's yeast, or not use any, and trust wild yeast to do the work (keep your fingers crossed here). Watch the mix carefully, as without sensitive equipment it is hard to tell when the yeast have stopped working. The yeast will form a foam or crust as they work. As they finish, the foam will break up and disappear. The proper time to run it through the still is when the foam is pretty well gone, but not totally, there should be a film of it left with some holes poking through. Wait to long and you will have wood alcohol rather than grain, it is not possible, no matter who tells you different to return wood alcohol back to grain alcohol. I cannot possibly emphasize enough the number of injuries and fatalities occurring from attempts to "purify" wood alcohol. Run it too early and you won't get a good yield of anything but corn starch and water. It is better to run it too early, trust me. The next major thing to know is how to know when to stop collecting the distillate. One easy way is to collect a small amount of the end product, splash it on the pot, and light it with a match or lighter. It should burst into blue flame. If it doesn't, there is too much water in it. Either turn down the heat on the pot if you are just starting, or stop collecting if its been going a while. By this time you have as much of the alcohol as you'll be able to get. Another, better way, is too watch the distillate as it pours out of the worm. It will sputter at first, slowly develop into a ready stream (hopefully), then at a certain point it will sputter a bit again, and then the twist to the stream will change very slightly as the content changes from mostly grain alcohol to mostly water. These are very hard changes to catch, and it takes practice to learn. It is however the most accurate means by which to gauge the distillate without high tech equipment. That is about all there is to it. There are many, many other details that have been discovered in the many years of distilling, but these are the basics needed to build a simple still. Now, don't go off half-cocked kid. Distilling is illegal in this country without an official permit from the High Court. And of course, permits are only issued to the rich merchants that can put some gold pieces in important people's pockets. But of course, you young adventuring types try everything at least once, more until you get a sword in your face." -- Jesse Duke Master Bootlegger ----------------------------------------------------------------------- WHEN THE STILL EXPLODES When a non-proficient character distills, a GM should decide if a still explodes or not mainly based on campaign use (i.e. plot use, serves a purpose to an adventure, etc.). If the GM wants to leave it up to chance, a still will explode on a roll of 15-20 on a 1d20. A proficient character will have an exploding still on a roll of 20 on a 1d20. An exploding still does a lot of damage to creatures and things that are near it. Most of the damage comes from the force of the blast and from the intense heat of the steam. A smaller amount comes from the shrapnel created by the still itself flying apart. Once a still explodes, a creature in the area of effect (see Table A, Distance) suffers damage if not sufficiently protected. Only half the damage is received if a saving throw vs. breath weapon is successful. TABLE A: Heat Damage Distance Damage 00' - 01'11" 4d10+10 02' - 05'11" 3d10+10 06' - 11'11" 2d10+10 12' - 16' 1d10+10 The heat damage is not the only danger. Anyone in the vicinity could easily take shrapnel damage from the pieces of the still flying about. Typically, stills are of wood or metal. A wooden still tends to produce more shrapnel. A metal still tends to split rather than truly shatter. Once a still explodes, a creature in the area of effect (see Table B, Distance) suffers shrapnel damage if not sufficiently protected. Only half the damage is received if a save vs. breath weapon is successful. TABLE B: Shrapnel Damage Distance Wood Damage Metal Damage 00' - 01'11" 4d4+5 4d4+1 02' - 05'11" 3d4+5 3d4+1 06' - 11'11" 2d4+5 2d4+1 12' - 16' 1d4+5 1d4+1 The GM should note that the information provided here is for a still with a pot of 40-80 gallon capacity. This would make about 1-2 gallons or 5-10 bottles of liquor in a run with a maximum of about 8-10 runs in a day. Of course, fermenting time must be taken into consideration. Generally, fermenting time is a week or more depending on fermenting material, starting yeast, starter mash, temperature, and other factors. For different sizes of stills, the GM should adjust the damage and make the area of effect larger. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL "Drink hardy me 'lads for tomorrow we die!" --- Anonymous In wine's intoxication lays the truth! --- Anon After consuming a serving of alcohol, a character must make a constitution check with the following penalties: Beer -1 Ale -2 Wine -3 Mead -4 Liquor -5 The penalties accumulate with each check per state of intoxication. For example, after Rath drinks his third ale he must make his constitution check with a -6 penalty. If Rath moves into a state of slight intoxication (see below) due to a failed constitution check, his ale penalty is reset back to -2. Of course, the penalty will continue to get worse as he drinks in this state and reset to -2 when he goes into a moderate state of intoxication. NOTE: Serving sizes vary depending on type. For example, a typical serving size of liquor is around 2 fluid ounces. Beer, ale, and mead have a serving size around 16 to 20 fluid ounces. While a serving size for wine is around 10 to 14 ounces. The serving size is decided by the DM. If a character fails his/her constitution check, his/her state of intoxication moves up. There are three states: slight, moderate, great. The state an intoxicated person is in will have the following effects: Intoxication Table: Effect State of Intoxication on Slight Moderate Great Morale +1 +2 +3 Intelligence -1 -3 -6 Wisdom -1 -4 -7 Dexterity 0 -2 -5 Charisma 0 -1 -4 Attack Dice 0 -1 -5 Hit Points 0 +1 +3 % of Spell Failure 25 50 100 NOTES ON INTOXICATION TABLE Morale pertains only to non-player characters. Intelligence, Wisdom, Dexterity, and Charisma indicate the number of points the various characteristics are lowered temporarily due to intoxication. Remember to check the PHB to see the effects of attribute lose. Attack dice refers to adjustments to THAC0 and saving throws. An opponents saving throws vs. magical attacks made by an intoxicated character is raised by the same number. Hit points are increased due to the effects of the alcohol on the intoxicate person. He/she can physically withstand more punishment. OPTIONAL RULE: Make the hit point adjustments +10% and +30%, rather than +1 and +3. % of Spell Failure refers to the chance that a spell that is cast will fail. A mage or cleric has difficulty with somatic and verbal components due to his/her inebriation. When in a great state of intoxication, the mage/cleric has complete memory loss of the spell and must relearn the spell upon recuperation. Being in a state of great intoxication is dangerous. When a character is in this state, he/she no longer continues to make a constitution check. Instead he/she must make a saving throw vs. poison. A cumulative penalty of -1 goes into effect as the character continues to drink. If a character fails his/her saving throw, he/she passes out. With each saving throw a character has a cumulative 5% of permanently lowering his/her constitution by 1 point. Example For example, Rath has just missed his constitution check from his last glass of ale and is now in a state of great intoxication. He orders another glass and drinks it. He makes his save vs. poison and has a 5% chance of lowering his constitution, which doesn't happen. He orders another glass and gulps it down. He makes his save vs. poison and now has a 10% chance of lowering his constitution, which doesn't happen. He orders yet another glass and gulps it down. This time he misses his save and passes out. Now he has 15% chance of lowering his constitution, which unfortunately happens. Rath is now passed out and has a permanent deduction of 1 from his constitution. Another victim of drunkenness. Optional Wisdom Rule As a person continues to drink, he/she tends to consume more and more alcohol without really noticing it. Thus, the consumer must begin making a Wisdom check after each drink once he/she reaches a state of slight intoxication. A successful check allows the consumer to quit drinking if he/she desires. A failed check indicates that a person will attempt to have another drink if possible (i.e. has money, alcohol is available, etc.). A friendly, non-hostile person around the drinker who wants to prevent him/her from continuing to drink can attempt to by making a successful Charisma check. Success indicates that the person talked the drinker into stopping. However, a failed check makes the drinker angry and no further attempts can be made by the less that charismatic person. Optional Weight Rule A person that weighs more tends to handle alcohol better than one who weighs less. Since most creatures' weights aren't known, the best indication of weight would be size. Thus, the penalties/bonuses are relative to size. The following penalties/bonuses can be assigned to the constitution check that is made after consuming a serving of alcohol: Tiny -4 Small -2 Man 0 Large +2 Huge +4 Gargantuan +6 Optional Drunk Disposition Rule Once a person enters a state of great intoxication, his/her disposition has a tendency to change. The DM has a few options in how to handle this. Option one, the player chooses from the table which disposition he/she wishes the character to have. Option two, the player rolls once on the table for the character and makes this the disposition the character will always have when drunk. Option three, the player rolls on the table each time the character is drunk. The effects to disposition are optional. Some DMs may not wish to use the effects because it may cause game imbalance. TABLE: Disposition Roll Disposition Effect 1 animated, excited, alert +1d4 to save vs. passing out 2 sleepy, "Zzzzzz" -1d4 to save vs. passing out 3 show-off, foolhardy, challenging +1d4 morale 4 melancholy, annoying -1d4 morale 5 chatty, know-it-all +1d4 intelligence 6 quiet, content, stupefied -1d4 intelligence 7 happy, everything seems good +1d4 wisdom 8 mean, cranky, annoyed -1d4 wisdom 9 humorous, amusing, comical +1d4 charisma 10 egotistical, cocky, bragging -1d4 charisma 11 clumsy, clutz, "Oops" -1d4 dexterity 12 horny, aroused see boo-hag effect Optional Boo-Hag Effect The effect of being drunk (i.e. in a state of great intoxication) makes the character more susceptible to seduction. This effect is better known as the "boo-hag" effect. In other words, the appearance and charisma of a person of the opposite sex no longer matters. This is represented by a-1d4+1 to any seduction rolls made by the character when a person is trying to seduce him/her. Note that the character is also 50% more likely to attempt seduction of other people. Optional/Alternative Intelligence Loss Rule A DM may opt to make a character lose a point of intelligence rather than constitution when a save vs. poison is failed. A more vindictive DM may opt to make the character lose the constitution point and then make him/her roll another constitution check. Failure indicates that the character loses a point of intelligence. The main reason for this is because prolonged use of alcohol kills brain cells. Alternative Percentage Loss Some feel that the percent chance of losing a point of intelligence or constitution is to drastic. A night of hard drinking shouldn't do a person in. Rather, extended periods of serious boozing should do such severe damage to the character. Therefore, when a character is in a state of great intoxication, he/she no longer continues to make a constitution check. Instead he/she must make a saving throw vs. poison. A cumulative penalty of -1 goes into effect as the character continues to drink. If a character fails his/her saving throw, he/she passes out. With each saving throw a character has a cumulative .1% of permanently lowering his/her constitution by 1 point. This cumulative percent is cumulative throughout the character's life. Alternative Alcohol Penalties Some campaigns may consider the penalties for the various alcoholic drinks to be incorrect. An alternative is provided for those who wish it. Thus, after consuming a serving of alcohol, a character must make a constitution check with the following penalties: Beer -1 Ale -2 Liquor -2 Wine -3 Mead -3 Alcohol And Races People have suggested that certain races like dwarves and elves should have bonuses or penalties when drinking alcohol because they would naturally have more or less of a tolerance. Well, technically this could be and is true. Table 8 on page 20 of the Player's Handbook lists racial ability adjustments during character creation. Dwarves receive a +1 to constitution and elves receive a -1 to constitution. Furthermore, demihumans like dwarves have bonuses to poison saves and poison saves play an important role in these rules. Therefore, since alcohol checks are based on constitution and adjustments to constitution are made during character creation and certain races get bonuses to poison saves, there is no need for any additional adjustments. However, DMs may still give bonuses and penalties to races if he/she wishes. Paladins Nice DMs may allow a paladin to have +1 bonus to constitution when consuming alcohol because they have a great immunity to such "evil" like alcohol. On the other hand, the DM may induce a -1 penalty to constitution because such poisonous toxins like alcohol are dangerous to the purity of a paladin. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- RECOVERY FROM INTOXICATION Wine, a turn-coat; first a friend, and then an enemy. --- Thomas Fuller Wine prepares the heart for love, Unless you take too much. --- Ovid Time is the only cure for intoxication, although certain stimulants might shorten the recovery time. Note that a person may only be affected by stimulants once. Recovery From Intoxication: Intoxication Recovery Stimulant Multiplier Level Time Mild Medium Strong Slight 1-4 hours x .80 x .65 x .50 Moderate 4-8 hours x .85 x .70 x .55 Great 8-14 hours x .90 x .75 x .55 Comatose 14-20 hours x .95 x .80 x .60 As a person recovers, his/her statistics that are affected begin to go back to normal. For example, a comatose person's recovery time is 19 hours and his/her stats are based on this. Five hours later, he/she moves into a state of great intoxication and his/her stats are relative to this state, and so on. Having A Hangover Although the victim's statistics will slowly return to normal, he will suffer unpleasant after-effects that are known in the drunks' world as a hangover. After a person finally gets down to a state of slight intoxication, he/she rolls on Table 1 (1d100) and receives a hangover effect. TABLE 1: Hangover Effects Table Die Roll Effect 01 blinding headache, vomiting, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs 02 blinding headache, vomiting, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs 03 blinding headache, vomiting, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs 04 blinding headache, vomiting, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs 05 blinding headache, vomiting, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs 06 blinding headache, vomiting, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs 07 blinding headache, the squats, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs 08 blinding headache, the squats, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs 09 blinding headache, the squats, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs 10 blinding headache, the squats, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs 11 blinding headache, the squats, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs 12 blinding headache, the squats, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs 13 blinding headache, nausea, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs 14 blinding headache, nausea, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs 15 blinding headache, nausea, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs 16 blinding headache, nausea, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs 17 blinding headache, nausea, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs 18 blinding headache, nausea, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs 19 blinding headache, the squats, trembling 20 blinding headache, vomiting, trembling 21 blinding headache, nausea, trembling 22 blinding headache, the squats 23 blinding headache, vomiting 24 blinding headache, nausea 25 blinding headache, trembling 26 blinding headache 27 headache, vomiting, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs 28 headache, vomiting, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs 29 headache, vomiting, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs 30 headache, vomiting, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs 31 headache, vomiting, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs 32 headache, vomiting, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs 33 headache, the squats, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs 34 headache, the squats, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs 35 headache, the squats, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs 36 headache, the squats, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs 37 headache, the squats, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs 38 headache, the squats, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs 39 headache, nausea, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs 40 headache, nausea, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs 41 headache, nausea, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs 42 headache, nausea, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs 43 headache, nausea, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs 44 headache, nausea, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs 45 headache, the squats, trembling 46 headache, vomiting, trembling 47 headache, nausea, trembling 48 headache, the squats 49 headache, vomiting 50 headache, trembling 51 headache, nausea 52 headache 53 vomiting, trembling 54 nausea, trembling 55 the squats, trembling 56 vomiting 57 nausea 58 the squats 59 trembling 60 vomiting, the squats, trembling 61 vomiting, the squats 62 nausea, the squats, trembling 63 nausea, the squats 64 -4 to DEX and CON for 1d10 hrs 65 -4 to WIS and INT for 1d10 hrs 66 trembling, loss of appetite for 2d6 hrs 67 loss of appetite for 5d4 hrs 68 disgusting taste in mouth for 24 hrs 69 cheerful energy 70 DM SHOULD COME UP WITH A DASTARDLY EFFECT 71 NO BAD EFFECTS (This time!) 72-00 REROLL NOTES ON HANGOVER TABLE Blinding Headache: For 1d4+1 hours. -4 to hit, -3 to armor class, +25% chance of spell failure for mages and clerics, -25% to all thieves skills. Headache: For 1d4+1 hours. -2 to hit, -1 to armor class, +10% chance of spell failure for mages and clerics, -10% to all thieves skills. Vomiting: Roll percentile dice (01-50: 1d12 hours, 51-00: 1d6 hours). Constitution check every turn. Failure means PC vomits which takes 1d4+1 rounds. Strenuous activity (includes combat and spellcasting) will also require a constitution check to avoid being ill. Nausea: Roll percentile dice (01-50: 1d12 hours, 51-00: 1d6 hours). The PC feels like vomiting. The PC has difficulty concentrating and therefore has a +05% chance of spell failure for every hour of nausea. Furthermore, he/she suffers a -1 to dexterity and strength for the duration of nausea. "The Squats": Roll percentile dice (01-50: 1d20 hours, 51-00: 1d10 hours). Constitution check at -2 every turn. Failure means PC will defecate within 1d4 rounds. The PC must find a suitable place and remove armor, clothing, etc. within that time or soil themselves (YECH!). Trembling: For 1d4-1 hours. -1 to hit, -2 to dexterity. Loss Of Appetite: Character will not eat. Also, character has dry mouth thus being very thirsty. Example For example, our hero Rath has found himself in a state of great intoxication partying until four in the morning in his favorite establishment, The Golden Griffon Inn. Unfortunately, he is suppose to go adventuring at sunrise (6:00 AM), so he takes a strong stimulant in hopes to recovery. Recovery time was 14 hours for Rath, but now it is 7.70 hours (14 x .55), and his stats go from the great intoxication state to the moderate intoxication state. Well, Rath can't even move out of bed until 1:00 PM. But since he got little sleep and feels quite sick, Rath sleeps until 5:00 PM. When he awakens, he finds that he has a headache (which will last 3 hours). Also, he starts vomiting (which will last until at least 10:00 PM). He will suffer -2 to dexterity and constitution for the next 4 hours. And to top it off, Rath finds out that his adventuring party has left town without him and he is left with nothing to do but go party again tonight. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- STIMULANTS FOR RECOVERING FROM INTOXICATION Mild Cure Light Wounds - 1st level clerical spell Slow Poison - 2nd level clerical spell Potion of Healing Scroll of Protection from Poison Healing Proficiency Herbalism Proficiency Medium Cure Disease - 3rd level clerical spell Cure Serious Wounds - 4th level clerical spell Potion of Sweet Water Periapt of Proof Against Poison Strong Neutralize Poison - 4th level clerical spell Cure Critical Wounds - 5th level clerical spell Potion of Extra-Healing Potion of Vitality Special Heal - 6th level clerical spell Restoration - 7th level clerical spell Regenerate - 7th level clerical spell Elixir of Health Notes 1. Special stimulants cure the intoxicated character, no recovery time is required. 2. Multiple spells or potions (use the rule of mixing potions) applied on intoxicated characters lower the stimulant multiplier by 5% per dose (spell). 3. If more than one type of stimulant is used, the strongest one is considered. 4. Healing and herbalism proficiencies can be used once a day, but if both are used in the same character then treat as medium stimulant. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A MORE SINISTER SIDE OF DRINKING: ALCOHOL ADDICTION Wine has drowned more men than the sea. --- Anon Nothing is better to fight alcoholism than a moderate use of wine. --- Jean Louis Faure The nervous system in the body has an inhibitory effect when the body is in a state of extreme emotion. It's part of the human body's ability to stay in a normal state: "homeostasis". This is what makes cliff-divers like cliff diving: the nervous system inhibits the abnormal state of fear, essentially by simulating the reaction opposite to fear: ecstasy. A classical example of this is a slightly depressed person who takes stimulant drugs. His nervous system increases his depression to counteract the abnormal stimulation, so that he needs to take stimulants even to feel how people normally feel. Now, when he's off drugs, he will be very depressed. This explains some withdrawal symptoms. Under the effect of any strong drug (e.g. alcohol), the nervous system naturally tries to counter that effect. When the drug wears off, the "downer" that is experienced occurs because the nervous system is still producing that opposite emotion. If a human uses drugs too much, then his/her nervous system gets into the habit of countering that drug's effect, so he/she starts to need to take the drug all the time to avoid the awful downers. Eventually, drug addicts need more and more of their drug of choice in order to have the effect they had the first time they tried it. A person may enjoy having a drink of alcohol, but he/she may unfortunately become a victim of it. To represent the progression and regression of alcohol addiction; two levels, amount level and drinking level are used. Each time a person drinks and goes into a state of intoxication (slight, moderate, great), he/she must make a save vs. poison (with modifiers; see below) or go up one amount level (Table 1). Each time a person reaches a state of great intoxication he/she must make a save vs. poison (with modifiers; see below) or go up one drinking level (Table 2). To make drinking even more dangerous, the DM can make a character that has an 8 for an amount level and/or a 5 for drinking level roll on the Hangover Table. The effects rolled will last until the levels are lowered. Table 1: Amount Level Level Effect 0 never drinks 1 needs to drink one time every week 2 needs to drink two times every week 3 needs to drink three times every week 4 needs to drink four times every week 5 needs to drink five times every week 6 needs to drink six times every week 7 needs to drink seven times every week 8 needs to drink eight times every week Table 2: Drinking Level Level Effect 0 never drinks 1 will always take at least one drink 2 will drink until at least slightly intoxicated 3 will drink until at least moderately intoxicated 4 will drink until greatly intoxicated 5 will drink until passed out Humans, elves, gnomes, and half-elves gain their normal bonus to poison save due to Constitution (PHB, page 15). Dwarves and halflings use the same bonuses that they get against magical attacks due to their race (PHB, pages 20-23). Additional modifiers to the poison save for all races are based on Wisdom (Table 3). Also, the DM may wish to add modifiers based on circumstances and situations, some examples are given in Table 4. Table 3: Wisdom Modifier A. Score Modifier 01-03 +4 04-06 +2 07-12 0 13-15 -2 16-18 -4 Table 4: DM Modifiers Mod. Circumstance +8 friend, family member, or comrade died +5 lost beloved item (e.g. family heirloom, magical item) +3 gambling debts, considerable misfortune +1 unlucky times A person can reduce his/her or her addiction in a number of ways. A Neutralize Poison spell will rid the need to drink, thus the amount level becomes 0. For every week a person is restrained from drinking (i.e. clinic, forceful friends, etc.), both the amount level and drinking level are reduced by 1. Some DMs may allow the character to make a Wisdom check once a week. Success indicates that the character has enough willpower to lower his/her amount level and drink level by 1. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ALCOHOLIC DISEASES This system does not attempt a specific treatment of a subject which is beyond its scope and purpose. What is done, however, is to give general categories of disease and maladies and their game effects. In some cases, the disease can't convert into game effects, so role- playing must substitute. There are many ways a DM may go about giving a character a disease: - When a character's Amount Level is 8 and Drinking Level is 5, he must make a save vs. poison or contract a disease. - When a character's Amount Level is 8 or Drinking Level is 5, he must make a save vs. poison or contract a disease. - When a character becomes comatose due to alcohol use, he must save vs. poison or contract a disease. TABLE A: Diseases (1d12) Roll Disease 1 Acne Rosacea 2 Alcohol Amblyopia 3 Alcoholic Hepatitis 4 Alcoholic Myopathy 5 Alcoholic Polyneuropathy 6 Central Pontine Myelinolysis 7 Cirrhosis 8 Delirium Tremens 9 Marchiafava-Bignami Disease 10 Rhinophyma 11 Korsakoff's Psychosis 12 Wernicke's Encephalopathy Acne Rosacea - A facial skin condition usually characterized by a flushed appearance and often accompanied by puffiness and a "spider- web" effect of broken capillaries. Alcohol Amblyopia - A rare disorder of the eye, alcohol ambloyopia is typically due to long-term alcohol use. The disease begins slowly with a slight vision impairment (-1 penalty to THAC0) that becomes progressively worse (additional -1 per week until -4 is reached). The typical complaint is a painless blurring of vision over a period of several weeks (2d4) with reduced sharpness for both near and distant objects. Generally, changes are symmetrical in both eyes and, if not treated adequately, may be followed by optic nerve degeneration. Treatment consists of vitamins and minerals or cure disease magics. Alcoholic Hepatitis - A disease of the liver characterized by inflammation and necrosis, alcoholic hepatitis is accompanied by jaundice (which causes the character's skin to turn a reddish-yellow color), fever, and abnormal accumulation of fluid in the abdominal cavity. Alcoholic hyaline, a clear glassy substance, is often found in livers of patients with alcoholic hepatitis. Alcoholic Myopathy - Alcoholic Myopathy is an alcoholic muscle disease. A character with this disease suffers from severe muscle cramps that vary in frequency or by muscle pain and swelling. This results in a lose of 1d4 to Strength and movement is two-thirds normal. Alcoholic Polyneuropathy - A disease of the nervous system. It develops slowly over months and years affecting first and most severely the lower legs, where numbness and pain may develop. Other problems are muscle wasting (-1d4 to Strength), tenderness of the calves of the legs, and signs of impaired motor function (-1d4 to Dexterity). Central Pontine Myelinolysis - A rare disease of unknown origin that occurs in a group of brain nerve fibers known as the pons. The principal symptoms are a progressive weakness in the muscles extending from the lowest part of the brain to the spinal cord (a successful called shot to the back causes triple damage), an inability to swallow, and the absence of the gag reflex. After 2d4 weeks, the character becomes drowsy (unable to adventure). After another 1d4 weeks, the character becomes comatose. Cirrhosis - From an ancient word kirrhos orange-colored - the color of a cirrhosis liver. Cirrhosis is a chronic inflammatory disease of the liver in which functioning liver cells are replaced by scar tissue. The main cause of cirrhosis is long-term alcohol use. The onset of cirrhosis is associated with such nonspecific complaints as weakness and fatigue. As the disease progresses, some of the associated effects may include: - Jaundice which causes the character's skin to turn a reddish- yellow color. - Swelling of the character's legs. - Uncontrolled bleeding due to a decrease in clotting factors in the blood. If the character receives an open wound that cause bleeding, he/she will loses -1 hit points per round for 3d4 rounds. - Increased sensitivity to drugs which results in a -1 modifier to any Constitution checks made for drug or alcohol use. Delirium Tremens - The D.T.'s. One of the most dramatic and serious conditions associated with alcoholism, delirium tremens' symptoms include: - Vivid and frequently terrifying auditory, visual, and tactical hallucinations (25% per day of having one). - Profound confusion (-1d4 to intelligence). - Disorientation. - Severe agitation. - Restlessness and insomnia which can be bad for mages. - Fever. - Abnormally rapid heartbeat. Marchiafava-Bignami Disease - The disease causes agitation, confusion (-1d4 to intelligence), hallucinations (25% per day of having one), memory disturbances, and disorientation. Rhinophyma - A skin condition of the nose characterized by swelling, redness and, often, broken capillaries. Rhinophyma is considered by religious organizations as their deity's punishment to drunks. Korsakoff's Psychosis - Korsakoff's psychosis is primarily a mental disorder characterized by confusion, memory failure and a tendency to recite imaginary occurrences. Other symptoms include disorientation in time, emotional apathy and loss of insight, which prevents the character from becoming aware of the disability. Characters are often moderately cheerful and non-comprehending. Wernicke's Encephalopathy - This disease is characterized by an acute confusion state (-1d4 to Intelligence), loss of balance (-1d4 to Dexterity, disorders of the eye nerves (extreme blinking), and high risk of heart failure (10% chance of death to do heart failure). There is a cumulative +3% per day of Wernicke's encephalopathy developing into Korsakoff's psychosis. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- CRAZY DRUNK: A LOOK AT DIPSOMANIA When the wine is in the wit is out. --- Thomas Becon Presented here are two ways a DM can introduce Dipsomania into a campaign. The first is an insanity which can be introduced via mind- affecting magic or psionic powers. The second is a disease which can be introduced via a spell or normal disease transmitting ways. Dipsomania Insanity This mild insanity form manifests itself periodically. About once per week, or whenever near large quantities of alcoholic beverages, the afflicted will begin drinking excessive quantities of ale, beer, wine, or like spirituous liquors. Such drinking will continue until the character passes out. It is 50% likely that the dipsomania will continue when he/she awakens if anywhere near alcohol, 10% likely otherwise (in which case the individual will seek to find drink and become violent if denied). Dipsomaniac Virus Technically, this is not a monster, but rather a disease composed of tiny organisms that require alcohol to maintain their bodily functions. They will most likely be encountered by Player Characters in infested sources of alcohol (seedy bars suddenly lose character). If this alcohol is drunk, then the character is infected with the virus. As with many diseases, these microorganisms enter the body and feed and reproduce there. However, unlike most diseases, these require a high level of alcohol in the blood to survive. It is unlikely that most characters will be quite as obliging in this regard as the disease requires. So, the virus improvises; it begins to take over cells and converts them into producers of alcohol, fermenting blood sugar in order to keep the blood-alcohol level high. This has two negative effects upon the character: raising his appetite by depleting his blood sugar level, and keeping him perpetually intoxicated, whether he drinks or no. A simple cure disease spell will end the condition; however, it is likely that no one will suspect that a mere disease is the problem in the first place! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME Wine is the most healthful and hygienic of all beverages. --- Louis Pasteur The blood of the vineyard shall mingle with mine. --- Oliver W. Holmes His eyes shall be red with wine, and his teeth white with milk. --- Genesis 49:12 In water one sees one's own face, but in wine beholds the heart of another. --- Anon Alcohol has a very bad effect on the developing brain of the fetus. In some areas, the brain may never totally mature. In addition to reduced learning capabilities, a person has little or no sense of "right or wrong". He/she has little sense of time, so that a potential long jail term means little to him/her, and he/she doesn't see the benefits of saving money today to spend next year, or to study today for a test next week. These symptoms can range anywhere from almost unnoticeable to very pronounced, and facial disfigurement (small, misshapen eyes and a flatter nasal area) can even occur. Some Fetal Alcohol Syndrome victims are somewhat socially inept. Not in a "nerdy" manner, but they seem to be unable to have healthy friendships. They are attracted to dangerous elements, such as the other troublemakers (unable to separate right from wrong, etc). They can't seem to resist peer pressure, and if pressured, will drink, steal, etc.. Their work ethic is bad, unable to see the future as imminent. The awful thing is, it's not their fault! Therefore, if a woman drinks at ANY time during pregnancy (even if she doesn't know she's pregnant) and if she consumes even a small amount of alcohol, there is a risk of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The more often she drinks, the greater the risk and the greater the possible effects. The player should roll 1d100 when the baby is born, with a cumulative possibility of having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome of +5% for every time the mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy. If the result is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, then the DM has two options in deciding on the results: 1: The player rolls 1d100 with a cumulative +5% for every time the mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy. Then consult Table 1. 2: The player rolls 1d12 with a cumulative +1 for every time the mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during the pregnancy. Then consult Table 2. Note that the character has all of the symptoms up to and including his/her die roll. That is, if the player rolls a 6 then the character has results 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6. Table 1: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results Die Roll Effect 01-03 Intelligence is 4d4. 04-06 Intelligence is 3d4. 07-09 Intelligence is 2d4. 10-12 Intelligence is 1d4. 13-15 Wisdom is 4d4. 16-18 Wisdom is 3d4. 19-21 Wisdom is 2d4. 22-24 Wisdom is 1d4. 25-27 Strength is 4d4. 28-30 Strength is 3d4. 31-33 Strength is 2d4. 34-36 Strength is 1d4. 37-39 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 4d4. 40-42 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 3d4. 43-45 Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 2d4. 46-48 Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 1d4. 49-51 Weak. Constitution is 4d4. 52-54 Weak. Constitution is 3d4. 55-57 Very Weak. Constitution is 2d4. 58-60 Very Weak. Constitution is 1d4. 61-63 Learns at 1/4 speed. 64-66 Learns at 1/2 speed. 67-69 Learns at 3/4 speed. 70-72 Cannot have a lawful alignment. 73-75 Must have a chaotic alignment. 76-78 Must have a neutral alignment. 79-81 Unable to save money, destitute. Always gets rid of money. 82-84 Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things. 85-87 Never able to cast spells. 88-90 2d20+8 % magic resistance. Roll ignoring any result above 87. 91-93 Two problems. Roll twice ignoring any result above 87. 94-96 Three problems. Roll thrice ignoring any result above 87. 97-99 Four problems. Roll four times ignoring any result above 87. 00-00 Five problems. Roll five times ignoring any result above 87. Table 2: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results 1 Intelligence penalized -1d4. 2 Wisdom penalized -1d4. 3 Strength penalized -1d4. 4 Some facial disfigurement. Charisma penalized -1d4. 5 Weaker. Constitution penalized 1d4. 6 Learns at 1/4 speed. 7 Cannot have a lawful alignment. 8 Must have a chaotic alignment. 9 Must have a neutral alignment. 10 Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things. 11 Never able to cast spells. 12 2d20+8 % magic resistance. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- NON-WEAPON PROFICIENCIES Back of this wine is the Vintner, And back through the years, his skill; And back of it all are the vines in the sun, And the rain and the Master's will. --- Anon You cannot know wine by the barrel. --- Herbert Predentum The varieties of the wine and the names of its grapes are beyond number. --- Virgil All non-weapon proficiencies presented here are general. Thus all classes make take a proficiency without any penalties. Of course, DMs may want to limit them to a particular class. # of Slots Relevant Check Proficiency Required Ability Modifier Bartending 2(3) Special Special Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover 1 Intelligence -4 Drinking (Boozing) 1 Special Special Drinking Skills/Tricks 1 Dexterity Special Toasting 1 Intelligence -2 Wine Pouring 1 Wisdom 0 Wine Tasting 1 Wisdom 0 Bartending - A character with this proficiency has a great knowledge of mixed drinks and can make a perfect mixed drink on a successful Wisdom check. Note that the mixed drink must be known (i.e. ingredients, preparation, etc.). The DM may require an Intelligence to see if the character is familiar with the drink. Wine is the drink of the rich, but a small tavern having a large supply of wine in stock isn't practical or economical. Thus, a bartender has the skill to mix wines together to make an entirely different wine. The bartender has the ability to mix wines to make them look and/or taste a certain way. The maximum number of wines the bartender can mix together is two with one more wine added for every wisdom point over 12 (ex. a bartender with a 14 wisdom can mix a maximum of 4 wines together). Whether it be a dreadful odor, an unwholesome sticky taste, or a fantastic texture, the bartender can attain this on a successful Wisdom check. If the bartender fails the check while trying to do this, he/she gets the exact opposite result (i.e. good tasting wine becomes bad tasting wine). Bartenders have the uncanny ability to raise morale. This ability is another benefit bestowed from this proficiency. On a successful Charisma check, the character can raise the morale of those he/she serves by +2. DMs should make sure characters don't abuse this ability. A character shouldn't be able to hand a beer to a soldier in a middle of a battle in hopes to raise his morale. It is intended to be used in a tavern setting. Also, DMs should require that the player role-plays the situation. Just stating that the character wishes to raise morale isn't enough. A lot of people go to taverns when depressed, and the bartender has a tendency to raise their spirits. A bartender can bring a person out of a non-magical depression on a successful Charisma check with a positive modifier equal to the character's level. A bartender can bring a person out of a magical depression on a successful Charisma check with a modifier of -1 for very level under 8th. A lot of taverns, bars, and inns have a tendency to doctor drinks to make them more potent or make them less potent than they should be. Usually it is making drinks less potent which is the tendency, better known as watering them down. Sometimes a bartender may wish to make drinks more potent to cause certain patrons to get really inebriated. Why would a bartender want to make a drink more potent? Well many people, like thieves or adventurers, would like certain people in a drunken state so their job (whatever it may be) can be easier and a few coins to a bartender is a small price to pay to make sure a person is drunk. The key to doctoring drinks is making the customer not notice a change. A successful Wisdom roll indicates that nobody will notice a change in the drink. Failure indicates that a customer may notice a change. The customer must make a successful Intelligence check to notice a change. A more seedier skill of this proficiency allows him to mix other liquids together to make them taste like a wine. The bartender must have knowledge of the wine's taste that he/she wishes to duplicate, almost to perfection, and gets a -3 to his/her roll if he/she has the wine with him/her. On a successful Wisdom check, the character creates a fake of the original wine. This ability can be counteracted with a successful Wine Tasting proficiency check. Another skill of this proficiency is the ability to make alcohol drink additives (discussed elsewhere in the guide). A character needs to make a Intelligence check with a -3 modifier. Failure indicates that the additive is worthless and the process must start over (i.e. get new ingredients, etc.). Another skill of this proficiency is the ability to slide drinking containers down a bar or another flat surface like a table. A character needs to make a Dexterity check. If successful, the character slides a drinking container down the bar and can even make it spin around a 90 degree angle (only once). If the check fails, the glass slips, spills its contents, and will probably break. If the player devotes a third slot to this proficiency, the character gains the skills of the Wine Pouring and the Wine Tasting non-weapon proficiencies. Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover A person with this proficiency has the uncanny knack for concealing his/her unattractive alcoholic problems of drunkenness and hangovers. The character must make a proficiency check after moving into a new state of intoxication. A successful proficiency check indicates that the character seems to be at the previous state of intoxication. The character still suffers the penalties for the new state of intoxication, but it will appear at face value that he/she is at the previous state. For example, Rath (who is proficient in this), just went into a state of slight intoxication. His stats are adjusted accordingly. He makes his proficiency check. So it seems at face value that Rath is not intoxicated, although he is slightly intoxication. Of course, if he would need to use an ability like intelligence (intelligence attribute check), then his -1 intelligence penalty will manifest itself. If a character has a hangover and makes a successful proficiency check, he/she can suppress 1 or 2 (DM's option) of the hangover effects. For example, Rath has a hangover. He rolls a 13 on the hangover effects table. The effects are blinding headache, the squats, and trembling. He suppresses "the squats" effect, but still suffers from a blinding headache and trembling. If he only suffered from one effect like vomiting, then he wouldn't have any hangover problems. NOTE: All checks are made at the current intelligence (i.e. with modifiers from being intoxicated). Another benefit of this proficiency is the ability to hide the fact that the character has an alcohol addiction problem. An intelligence check is made when a character is not drunk or hungover. If successful, the character disguises his/her alcohol addiction from people. The character is so nonchalant that people don't realize that he/she has a problem. Drinking (Boozing) A person with this proficiency has a great love of alcohol. He/she has the skill to consume more alcohol then most people without suffering the ill effects as bad. Also, the character can tell the quality of any alcoholic drink by taste. This knowledge goes deeper than just general quality knowledge. He/she can know interesting facts about alcohol drinks if a successful intelligence check is made. For example, he/she may know the year it was made, what race created it, its value, specific ingredients, etc.. When consuming a serving of alcohol, the character now gets a bonus for his/her constitution checks. Thus, the penalties for constitution checks are as followed: Beer +5 A 20 on the constitution check Ale +4 always fails. Wine +3 Mead +2 Liquor +1 When the character is in a state of great intoxication, he/she doesn't receive a penalty when he/she saves vs. poison. With each saving throw a character has a cumulative 2% instead of 5% of permanently lowering his/her constitution by 1 point. Unfortunately, this proficiency has an evil side to it. The character's alcohol addiction can never be at 0 for amount and drinking levels. Furthermore, the character suffers a -1 penalty to poison saves for alcohol addiction checks. Drinking Skills/Tricks This proficiency bestows many benefits to the character although they tend to have any enlightened value. "The Chug", "The Gulp", "The Neck" are all names for the ability to consume a single serving of alcoholic beverage in a seconds. A proficiency check (cumulative -1 penalty per serving) is required when competing against another person. If both make the check, the person with the highest score loses. If both fail the check, neither wins because they either choke, spit up the booze, etc.. Of course, if one fails the check and the other makes the check, then the winner is the successful one. "Fire Breather" is the ability to spit alcohol, through a flame, and hit a target. The spitter must have a flame source of at least candle power and the target must be within 9 feet. The spitter must make a successful proficiency check with a penalty based on range between him and the target. Success indicates a hit and the target suffers burn damage based on range. Failure indicates a miss unless a 20 is rolled. A 20 indicates that the flame back tracks into the characters mouth and cause 1d6 points of burn damage. Range Damage (*) Check Mod. 0' to 3' 2d6 -2 3' to 6' 1d6 -3 6' to 9' 1d4 -4 (*) save vs. Breath Weapon for half damage. Dexterity bonus apply. "The Big Belch" is the incredible and slightly disgusting ability to produce long-lasting burps while drinking alcohol. A character can burp continuously for 1d10+10 rounds after having only one serving of any alcoholic beverage. If the character makes a successful proficiency check, he/she gains an additional 1d10+10 rounds to the burp. "The Mouth Catcher" is the ability to throw a small object into the air and catch it in his/her mouth. Typical small objects are a nuts, popcorn, pretzels, etc.. The character can throw the object up to 5 feet into the air and catch it without requiring a check. A proficiency check is required if the character tries for over 5 feet. The check requires a modifier of -1 for every additional foot the character wants. A failed check indicates that the small object misses the character's mouth. Roll on the following table to see where the object lands: Roll Effect 1 Lands in character's nose. 2 Pokes character in left eye. Can't see through eye for 1d6 turns. 3 Pokes character in right eye. Can't see through eye for 1d6 turns. 4 Bounces off head and hits nearest person. 5 Bounces off head and lands in character's drink. 6 Bounces off head and lands in nearest drink other than character's drink. DMs should modify effects that would not apply to a given situation. "Bottle Cap Flick" is the ability to take a bottle cap and flick it at a target. A proficiency check is required if the character aims for a target over 5 feet away. The check requires a modifier of -1 for every additional foot the target is away. A successful check indicates that the bottle cap hits the intended target. A failed check indicates that the bottle cap misses the target a number of feet equal to the number of points the check was missed. Thus, if the check was missed by 4 points, then the bottle cap lands four feet from it's target. The direction the bottle cap is randomly determined by the DM. Toasting The term "toast" comes from the fact that, in days of old, beer was often consumed in front of the fireplace, where bread was being toasted at the same time. To add nutrition and flavor (?) bits of the toast would be thrown in the about-to-be-drunk beer and then a "toast" would be made. In any case the custom of toasting one's drinking companions goes back many centuries and only the skilled make toasts that are remembered for centuries. Proficiency in toasting includes the skills of reciting above average to excellent toasts and judging the quality of toasts. It also indicates that the character has a repertoire of toasts memorized for toasting at any time. A character may wish to create a new toast to be used later or immediately. A successful proficiency check indicates that the toast is of excellent quality. Failure indicates an above average toast, which is still better than a toast of a commoner. After a successful proficiency check and toast, a character with the Etiquette proficiency gains a -2 to all etiquette proficiency checks in that situation. The excellent toast demonstrates that the character is a person of high class, whether he is or not, and thus the toastees are more relaxed and less cautious of the character's true economical and social class. Here are two examples of toasts: Drink to fair woman, who, I think, Is most entitles to it; For if anything drives men to drink, She certainly can do it. Here's to a long life and a merry one, A quick death and easy one A pretty girl and a true one A cold beer - and another one. Players and/or DMs are encourages to read Toasts and Anecdotes by Paul William Kearney (Clode pub. 1923, written in 1896) and Toasts, the Complete Book of the Best Toasts, Sentiments, Blessings, Curses, and Graces (Delacorte Press, c1981) for a great source of toasts to be used in the campaign to take full advantage of this proficiency. Some clever people have made careers out of creating toasts for less than imaginative kings and other nobles. Sitting around making up toasts is quite a cushy job. Wine Pouring With this proficiency the bearer can entertain any other person with his flare in pouring wines. He can make even the dullest, worst tasting wines look good to the common person. On a roll of 5 or below, the pourer does his act with so much flare a few coins could be tossed his way. If he fails, he spills the wine. On a roll of 16+ (unless 16+ is a succeed) he pours the wine over himself. On a roll of 20 he pours the wine over himself and destroys any paper or object that can be destroyed by liquid. Wine Tasting Less powerful than the Drinking (Boozing) proficiency but also less evil, this proficiency is for a more elite, upper class person. This is the ability to appreciate and judge the quality of wines. On a successful roll, the character can identify the kind of wine he is drinking and the quality: terrible, very poor, poor, normal, good, very good, excellent. On a roll of 4 or less, the character can name the year of the vintage, and recognize the vineyard. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- NOT A TYPICAL ASSORTMENT OF WEAPONS A paradox exists to those who enjoy intoxicating beverages that must attend places that serve intoxicating beverages: how can a person enter combat when the person's combat weapons were checked at the door. The solution would be to use a combat weapon that isn't considered a weapon but rather a common item. Thus, this section provides information for items that might not be considered weapons by most people. Characters of any class who would become proficient in any of these weapons would be indeed unique. A Fighter who swings a tankard rather than a long sword would be a sight to see. One item mentioned later is the Maltov Cocktail, a grenade filled alcohol that is lit and then tossed at its target. A grenade weapon specialization and a few cocktails would come in very handy against drunken adventurers and the undead (hard to tell them apart). While on the subject of weapons, DM's should note that the preferred weapon by tavern owners and employees who must keep the peace is the crossbow which is usually kept behind the bar (cocked in the more rowdier establishments). Weight Speed Damage Item (lb.) Size Type Factor S-M L Bottle, small 1 S B 4 1d4+1 1d3 Bottle, large 2 S B 4 1d6 1d3 Bottle, broken 1-2 S P 2 1d4 1d3 Sling bullet, olive 1/4 S B - - - Swizzle stick 1/4 S P 2 1d3 1d2 Tankard 1 S B 4 1d6 1d3 Casket, small 4 gal L B 10 1d6 1d4 Keg 5 gal L B 10 1d6+1 1d4+1 Casket medium 6 gal L B 10 1d8 1d6 Casket, large 8 gal L B 10 1d10 1d8 Barrel, small 16 gal L B 12 2d8+2 1d6+2 Barrel, medium 24 gal L B 12 3d6+2 3d4+2 Barrel, large 32 gal L B 12 5d6+4 5d4+4 Table 30 (V)L B 15 4d6 3d6 Bottle, small: The bottle can hold .5 gallon of liquid but the purpose is not to be a container. Bottle, large: The bottle can hold 1 gallon of liquid but the purpose is not to be a container. Bottle, broken: Whether large or small, this bottle works the same as a piercing weapon. A person with a normal bottle can make a broken quite easy by breaking it (of course the bottle must fail a saving throw). Sling bullet, olive: The olive does no damage when used, but a successful called shot (-4 attack modifier) to a target's eye will temporarily blind him/her. Thereafter, the victim gets +4 to hit. Swizzle stick: A swizzle stick is six inches in length and thin. It is mainly used to stir drinks but in the hands of a clever person, can be used as am effective weapon. Tankard: A tankard is a large drinking cup usually with a handle and a hinged cover. Many people who wield a tankard as a weapon like to have a finely crafted tankard with magnificent artwork on it. Of course, a good, old, solid tankard would work just as easily. Containers: The various containers (Casket, small; Keg; Casket medium; Casket, large; Barrel, small; Barrel, medium; Barrel, large) that contain alcohol can make very effective missile type boulder weapons. The stats given for the containers assume that the container is at least half-full of liquid at the time of tossing. Strength bonuses apply. DMs must make sure that the character is capable of lifting the container and if so, be able to toss it to the required distance. Table: This table is any large, wooden round thing that has 4 wooden "legs" and a smooth surface. It is wielded by picking it up over your head and throwing it in any certain direction. Hence the weight, it is very hard to pick up. If it is thrown at a person with 19 strength and over, that person smashed the table to bits before it hit (unless surprised or didn't know the table was coming). Any sharp object is stuck in the surface and any blunt object bounces off. After taking about 2d6 points of damage in the same general spot it will smash into bits in the next throw. The Use of Alcohol as a Weapon The use of high-proof spirits can be a really effect weapon; especially in a room illuminated by torches and candles. SPLASH! FOOM! AAUUUGH! HA, HA, HA!. Put simply, flaming alcohol burns for two rounds, causing 2d6 points of damage in the first round and 1d6 points in the second round. Any container filled with alcohol can be used as a grenade-like weapon. When created for the purpose of using it as a weapon, it is referred to as a Maltov Cocktail. Lit alcohol used in a grenade-like missile can be considered the same as lit oil. Of course, the alcohol must have a high alcohol content to be flammable. For more information on grenade-like weapons can be found on page 100 of the Player's Handbook and page 62 of the Dungeon Master's Guide. If the player wishes to create a Maltov Cocktail, the grenade-like stats for such a weapon are: Type of Missile: Alcohol (Lit) Type Amount: 16 oz. Area of Effect: 3' diameter Damage from Direct Hit: 2d6/1d6 hp Splash Damage: 1d6/2 hp Alcohol causes damage only when it is lit. Thus, the character must light the grenade (which must have some type of "fuse", i.e. cloth sticking out, etc.). The lighting of the flask will result in a +4 to the initiative (this is in addition to the +2 speed factor and any range modifiers). This also assumes that the character has an available source of fire close at hand. Most characters will light a cloth that is wrapped around the grenade so that the alcohol will not light prematurely, but allow the alcohol to burst into flame when the container is broken. Of course, those that desire an open connection to the alcohol may do so. In this case, vindictive DMs may have a percent chance equal to the character's initiative multiplied by 5 that the fire will get into the alcohol causing the character to drop it which would cause damage to him, for example. Another option of a character is that a character could make two separate attacks: the first to throw the alcohol on thew target, the second to throw fire on the target to light the alcohol. This is a much safer way, but harder way. In any case, most proficient characters opt to wrap a cloth around the grenade and light it before throwing it because this is the safest way. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- GETTING TO KNOW YOUR BOOZE The cheapness of wine seems to be a cause, not of drunkenness, but of sobriety. --- Adam Smith I rather like the bad wine, one gets so bored with the good. --- Mr. Mountchesney The best wine comes out of an old vessel. --- Robert Burton So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine. --- Proverbs 3:10 There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he purchases, finds, is offered, loots, or steals some form of alcoholic beverage. Unfortunately, the description is boring and makes the substance as common as water. In actuality, alcohol comes in many forms from many places and is made by many people. To illustrate this diversity, the DM can follow the below steps to give his alcohol a kick. The DM does not have to obey the rolls. He may change what information he once, how he wants. The steps and charts are only guidelines to assist a DM in flavoring a campaign with a belt of some juice. STEPS 1. Roll on table 1 to decide the type of alcohol. 2. Roll on the appropriate Made-By Table to decide who made the beverage. If HUMANOID is rolled then roll on table 2F to decide what creature did make it. If SPECIAL is rolled the DM must choose; preferably an intriguing, exciting, and unique race. 3. If the alcohol is beer, then roll on table 3 to decide what type of beer it is. If the alcohol is wine, then roll on table 4 to decide what type of wine. For light wine, roll on table 4A, 4B, and 4C to decide what the color, taste, and flavor of the wine is. No sub-tables are provided for fortified, sparkling, and aromatized wines. Most specifics on these types of wines are named after real-world geographical locations and would take away from the fantasy world. For example, Sparkling wines could be broken down to Champagne, Astispumante, Burgundy, Moselle, Saumur, and Catawba (to name a few). But these are named for geographic locations on Earth. If DMs wish to have drinks like these in their campaign, they should name it after a place and then give a description of the drink to the players using the real world counterpart. If the alcohol is liquor, then roll on table 5 to decide what type of liquor it is. If the liquor is brandy, roll on table 5C to decide what type of brandy it is. If the liquor is whiskey, flip a coin to decide if the whiskey is straight or blended. If the liquor is coridial, the DM should decide what flavored this spirit because the options are limitless. 4. Roll on table 6 to decide the quality of the beverage. Price is fixed to quality. Suggested prices aren't given because they will vary in different societies and civilizations. Thus, the DM should decide the price for a normal drink. A multiplier is given due to quality to adjusted the price of equal worth. By doing so, it would be easy to figure the price for almost any size of container. For example, if a gallon of normal wine sells for 20 silver pieces; then a gallon of excellent wine would sell for 2000 silver pieces (20 SP * 100). Thus, any size container can be determined for a particular alcoholic drink. One could also figure out what a small bottle (.5 gal.), or flask, of alcohol would cost from any size. If a large casket of wine cost 1000 silver pieces; then a small bottle of the same wine would cost 62.50 silver pieces, a large bottle would be 125 silver pieces, etc.. 5. If a human made the alcohol, roll on table 7 to decide where the it came from. If a race other than human made the alcohol, roll on table 8 to decide where it came from. NOTE: These tables must be created by the DM to suit his/her particular campaign world. The race tables in the World of Greyhawk books work very nicely for that world. 7. Table 9 is optional in deciding the container size. It is recommended that you decide what the size is because size is depend on the environment. For example, if an adventurer walks into a bar, chances are there are no tuns of wine for sale but a large bottle is readily available. TABLE 1: Type Of Alcohol 01-20 Beer 21-40 Ale 41-60 Mead 61-80 Wine 81-00 Liquor MADE-BY TABLES TABLE 2A: Beer Made By 01-40 Human 41-65 Dwarf 66-75 Humanoid 76-85 Halfling 86-95 Gnome 96-99 Elf 00 Special TABLE 2B: Ale Made By 01-40 Dwarf 41-65 Gnome 66-75 Halfling 76-85 Human 86-95 Elf 96-99 Humanoid 00 Special TABLE 2C: Mead Made By 01-40 Elf 41-65 Human 66-75 Halfling 76-85 Gnome 86-95 Dwarf 96-99 Humanoid 00 Special TABLE 2D: Wine Made By 01-40 Elf 41-65 Human 66-75 Halfling 76-85 Gnome 86-95 Dwarf 96-99 Humanoid 00 Special TABLE 2E: Liquor Made By 01-40 Humanoid 41-65 Human 66-75 Dwarf 76-85 Gnome 86-95 Halfling 96-99 Elf 00 Special SUB-TABLE 2F: Humanoid 01-10 Bugbear 11-20 Gnoll 21-30 Goblin 31-40 Giant 41-50 Half-orc 51-60 Hobgoblin 61-70 Lizard Man 71-80 Ogre 81-90 Orc 91-00 Troll SPECIFIC TABLES TABLE 3: Type of Beer ROLL TYPE DESCRIPTION 01-20 Lager pale, medium-hop-flavored beer 21-40 Bock heavy, rich, dark-brown beer 41-60 Stout very dark beer 61-80 Porter mixture of ale and beer 81-00 Malt Liquor fruity, spicy, highly-alcoholic beer TABLE 4: Type of Wine 01-39 Light 40-59 Fortified 60-79 Sparkling 80-00 Aromatized TABLE 4A: Color of Wine 01-33 Red 34-67 White 68-00 Rose TABLE 4B: Taste of Wine 01-40 Sweet 41-75 Medium 76-00 Dry TABLE 4C: Flavor of Wine 01-03 Apple 04-06 Apricot 07-09 Ashberry 10-12 Banana 13-15 Blackberry 16-18 Blueberry 19-21 Cantaloupe 22-24 Cherry 25-27 Cranberry 28-30 Dandelion 31-33 Date 34-36 Elderberry 37-39 Elfberry 40-42 Fig 43-45 Grape, blue 46-48 Grape, green 49-51 Grape, red 52-54 Grape, purple 55-57 Grape, white 58-60 Potato 61-63 Peach 64-66 Pear 67-69 Plum 70-72 Prune 73-75 Raspberry 76-78 Strawberry 79-81 Watermelon 82-84 Wildberry 85-00 choose (preferably a grape type) TABLE 5: Type of Liquor 01-20 Brandy 21-40 Whiskey 41-60 Rum 61-80 Gin 81-00 Cordial (Liqueur) TABLE 5A: Type of Brandy 01-19 Cognac 20-29 Armagnac 30-39 Apple Jack 40-49 Kirsch (Cherry) 50-59 Mirabelle (Plum) 60-69 Slivovitz 70-74 Absinthe 75-79 Benedictine 80-00 ROLL ON TABLE 4C for the flavor of the brandy TABLE 6: Quality ROLL TYPE PRICE MULTIPLIER 01-05 Terrible .01 06-15 Very Poor .1 16-35 Poor .5 36-65 Normal 1 66-85 Good 10 86-95 Very Good 50 96-00 Excellent 100 TABLE 9: Size of Container Bottle, small .5 gallon Bottle, large 1 gallon Jug, small 2 gallons Jug, large 3 gallons Casket, small 4 gallons Keg 5 gallons Casket medium 6 gallons Casket, large 8 gallons Barrel, small 16 gallons Barrel, medium 24 gallons Barrel, large 32 gallons Tun 250 gallons ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SPELLS WITH A TWIST OF LIME Brave men and good wine last a short time! --- Anon ------------------------------------ Mages Cantrip Ferment Grape Know Vintage Know Quality Level 1 Alter Taste Analyze Drink Cure Hangover Intoxicate Morrison's Next Whiskey Bar Simple Distillation Level 2 Bucca's Noxious Exhalation Continual Drunkenness Create Alcohol Sidney's Excellent Alcohol Sidney's Flash Fermentation Level 3 Gorann's Rapid Intoxication Leomund's Tiny Tavern Mask Inebriation Niiraloth's Random Sobriety Level 4 Become Phantasmal Lover Ni-Gar's Panty Peeler Level 5 Cloud of Intoxication Malar's Alcohol Detonation Transmute Matter To Alcohol Level 9 Cloud of Great Intoxication FAE Clerics Level 1 Speak with the Intoxicated Level 2 Create Alcohol (see mage spell) Cure Drunkenness Lower Alcohol Addiction Resist Intoxication Speed Fermentation Level 4 Protection from Intoxication Level 6 Transmute Water to Wine Zone of Tolerance ------------------------------------ Mages Ferment Grape (Evocation) Level: Cantrip Type: Useful Range: Touch Components: S Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 1/2 segment Area of Effect: 1 grape Saving Throw: None By use of this spell an apprentice can convert the contents of a grape into fermented wine. It will not change the skin of the grape so it will keep its shape. Used by apprentices tired of the same old food from a teacher who do not approve of alcohol. Could also be good in an emergency for use against alcohol sensitive monsters. Know Vintage (Divination) Level: Cantrip Type: Useful Range: Touch Components: S, M Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 1/2 segment Area of Effect: Equivalent of one bottle or less Saving Throw: None By use of this spell an apprentice or wizard is able to tell what vintage (year) of one bottle of wine/champagne. It is also possible to tell, with a 10% chance of failure, the vineyard or winery where the wine came from. This spell is very useful for those who are not sure about a particular bottle of wine. A small drop of wine from the bottle is necessary to cast the spell. Know Quality (Divination) Level: Cantrip Type: Useful Range: Touch Components: S, M Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 1/2 segment Area of Effect: Equivalent of one bottle or less Saving Throw: None By casting this spell an apprentice or wizard is able to tell what quality of wine/champagne he/she is drinking. This spell will let the caster know by quickly flashing a color, on the surface of the drink, corresponding to the level of quality. It will also warn of possible poison or spoilage. The color black means pour or bad quality. The color blue means god or average quality. A light blue means very good and white means excellent. If the flash is black and red, look for possible poisons. This spell was developed by apprentices who were tired of getting pour quality wines with dinner. They also didn't want to keep being ripped off in pubs. Alter Taste (Alteration) Reversible Level: 1 Range: Touch Components: S Duration: 1 turn / level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 pint / level Saving Throw: None This spell allows the mage to give an alcoholic flavor (taste) to any liquid. It does not turn the liquid to alcohol. It merely gives it the taste of beer, ale, wine, mead, or liquor. Also, it only changes the flavor and not its appearance. Now a mage can buy a glass of water (cheap), cast this spell, and enjoy an alcohol flavored drink without suffering the negative effects of swigging the real thing. A mage could also improve the flavor of a drink. For example, cheap beer can now taste like elegant wine, but the alcohol level is that of beer. A bad-tasting potion can now taste quite nice as well. The flavor (cider, ale, wine, etc.) is chosen by the caster. However, there is always a 100 - 10 per level percent chance of the spell screwing up. In this case the DM chooses the taste. Note that since the component is only somatic the spell can be cast easily unnoticed. The reverse of this spell allows the caster to remove the alcoholic flavor of a drink, but without removing the alcohol itself. It can also be used to restore it's normal taste to a previously altered drink. Analyze Drink (Divination) Level: 1 Range: Touch Components: S Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 3 Area of Effect: 1 drink Saving Throw: None This spell requires the caster to sip a drink of any sort. The spell will then analyze all the components of the drink and make them known to the caster. The various liquids which make up the drink are revealed specifically, as well as the proportions in which they are extant. Specific brews, vintages, or brands (if applicable) are known exactly, and any dilution of the drink with water is also revealed. Since the casting requires actually tasting the drink, it is not really useful in safely identifying poisons (although the caster will instantly know what kind of poison that just hit him!). Cure Hangover (Abjuration) Reversible Level: 1 Range: Touch Components: V, S Duration: Special Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Saving Throw: None This spell enables the wizard to relieve a person of intoxication. Once cast a person does not need to recover from intoxication or suffer the effects of recovery. Note: It may be difficult for wizards to cast this cantrip upon himself if intoxicated given the chance for spell failure. The reverse of this spell is Cause Hangover. The mage must make a successful attack roll to touch a person in combat. If successful, the victim gets a hangover. Roll on Table 1, Hangover Effects Table, to get the effects of the hangover. Intoxicate (Enchantment) Reversible Level: 1 Range: 100 feet Components: V, S, M Duration: special Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Saving Throw: Neg. This spell allows the mage to increase a person's intoxication state by one. Thus, a sober person would become slightly intoxicated, a moderately intoxicated person would become greatly intoxicated, and so on. The reverse of this spell will decrease a person's intoxication state by one. The material component is a pint of pure alcohol. Morrison's Next Whiskey Bar (or Tavern Locator) (Divination) Level: 1 Range: 1 mile per level Components: V, S Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 5 Area of Effect: Special Saving Throw: None This spell is used by a mage who is looking for a good place to have a blast and get blasted. The spell seeks out all establishments within range and instantly gives the caster a mental impression of the best place, with regards to its location, name, general appearance, and taste of the mage. The spell determines which is the "best" location by considering the following factors, in descending order of importance: strength and quality of drinks served, wildness factor, size of bar, and inexpensiveness. If there is no such location (at all) within spell range, the caster must save vs. death magic or fall into a 1d4 round coma, and emerges from it weeping but unharmed. Simple Distillation (Alteration