Please add this to the gopher: gopher to: gopher.well.com path: 6. Authors/books/periodicals/zines 20. online zines 55. Unplastic news THANKS!! Keep up the great work!!! ========================== unplastic News #12: Media Puke! August 1994: San Francisco, CA ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo oo oo the unplastic news issue #12 oo oo oo oo August 1994 oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo TTTTTTTTTT HH HH EEEEEE oo oo TT HH HH EE oo oo TT HHHHHH EEEE oo oo TT HH HH EE oo oo TT HH HH EEEEEE oo oo oo oo oo oo UU UU N N PPPPPP L AAAAAA SSSSS TTTTTT II CCCCCC oo oo UU UU NN N PP P L A A SS TT II CC oo oo UU UU N N N PPPPPP L AAAAAA SSSSS TT II CC oo oo UUUUUU N NN PP L A A SS TT II CC oo oo UUUUUU N N PP LLLLL A A SSSSS TT II CCCCCC oo oo oo oo oo oo N N EEEEEE W W SSSSS oo oo NN N EE W W SS oo oo N N N EEEE W W W SSSSS oo oo N N N EE W W W SS oo oo N NN EEEEEE WWWWWWW SSSSS oo oo oo oo ....... the unplastic news ........ oo oo oo oo oo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo The Unplastic News #12: Media Puke a compilation of quotes concerning the vomitous state of modern technological communications. Welcome to the Summer 94 issue of The Unplastic News. We have a World Wide Web site up and running. Check that out at: http://www.well.com/Community/WholeEarth/tt.home/un.html or see us at Our Gopher Site: gopher to: gopher.well.com path: 6. Authors/books/periodicals/zines 20. online zines 55. Unplastic news Don't Take any Wooden nickels! Love, your very wet and furry Editor-In-Cheif: Thaloneous Platypus ================================================================== Contributors: dweezil@orl.mmc.com (Dweezil) Orlando Hash House Harriers pjenning@comix.santa-cruz.ca.us (Peter Jennings) hlr@well.com (Howard Rheingold) anne@lovechunks.com (Anne Rabinowitz) bostic@vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic) rats@well.com (James Donnelly) estesa@FRB.GOV (Alan Estes) amanda@panda.com (Amanda De'Lute) caius@well.com (Caius van Nouhuys) LBSPODIC@usthk.ust.hk (spode) kenney@hsi.com (Brian Kenney) westfort@netcom.com (Mike Westfort) tt1@netcom.com (Todd Tibbetts) amoss@welchlink.welch.jhu.edu (B. Hathrum Duk) schaller@hsi.com (Davie "Boom Boom" Schaller) ================================================================== You don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows. Mr. Dylan ()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==() What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public. Vilhjalmur Stefansson (1879-1962) ()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==() Where the press is free and every man able to read, all is safe. - Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) ____________________________________________________________________ To: /dev/null@python.bostic.com Subject: ASCII art winner of the month! Forwarded-by: Wendell Craig Baker Forwarded-by: eagle@armory.com (Jeff Leroy Davis) Subject: R.I.P Tim Hester ) ( ( ( ( ) () @@ ) (( ( ( ( )( @@ ( )) ) ( ( ( ( ()( /---\ (()( ( _______ ) ) )(@ !O O! )@@ ( ) ) ) < ____) ) ( ( )( ()@ \ o / (@@@@@ ( ()( ) /--| |( o| ( ) ) ((@@(@@ !o! @@@@(@@@@@)() ( | > \___| ) ( @)@@)@ /---\-/---\ )@@@@@()( ) | /---------+ (@@@@)@@@( // /-----\ \\ @@@)@@@@@( . | | \ =========______/|@@@@@@@@@@@@@(@@@ // @ /---\ @ \\ @(@@@(@@@ . . | \ \\=========------\|@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ O @@@ /-\ @@@ O @@(@@)@@ @ . | \ \----+--\-))) @@@@@@@@@@ !! @@@@ % @@@@ !! @@)@@@ .. . | |\______|_)))/ . @@@@@@ !! @@ /---\ @@ !! @@(@@@ @ . . \__========== * . @@ /MM /\O O/\ MM\ @@@@@@@. . | |-\ \ ( . @ !!! !! \-/ !! !!! @@@@@ . | | \ \ ) . . @@@@ !! !! .(. @. .. . | | \ \ ( / .( . \)). ( |O )( O! @@@@ . ) . | | / / ) ( )). (( .) !! ((( !! @@ (. ((. . . | | / / () )) )) .( ( ( ) ). ( !! )( !! ) (( )) .. | |_< / ( ) ( ( ) ) (( ) )).) ((/ | ( | \( )) ((. ). ____<_____\\__\__(___)_))_((_(____))__(_(___.oooO_____Oooo.(_(_)_)((_ O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O "To keep from becoming discouraged because the critics did not appreciate his genius, Paul Cezanne bought a parrot and taught it to scream incessantly, 'Cezanne is a great painter! Cezanne is a great painter!'." Paul Steiner 1964. _Useless_Facts_of_History_ O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one. Abbott Joseph Liebling (1904-1963) ()---o---()---o---()---o---()---o---()---o---()---o---()---o---()---o---() I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx (1890-1977) ()---o---()---o---()---o---()---o---()---o---()---o---()---o---()---o---() The daily press and the telegraph which in a moment spreads inventions over the whole world, fabricate more myths...in a day than could have formerly been done in a century. Karl Marx (1818-1883) ()_____()______()_____()______()______()______()______()______()_____()______() Because television signals originate at a single station and are sent top-down to the masses, tyrants everywhere push TV sets onto their people . . .Television is a tool of tyrants. Its overthrow will be a major force for freedom and individuality, culture and morality. That overthrow is at hand. George Gilder Life After Television !!!!OHYEA!!!!OHYEA!!!!OHYEA!!!!OHYEA!!!!OHYEA!!!!OHYEA!!!!OHYEA!!!!OHYEA!!!! _____________________________________________________________________________ First of all, I don't think anyone could claim to be media literate if he or she didn't understand that one of the principle functions of commercial media is not so much the provision of information or entertainment, but the segmentation and packaging of audiences for delivery and sale to advertisers... It's the audience which is the real product of the media, and not the programs. - Len Masterman }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}ooooo{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ JUST IN CASE YOU HADN'T HEARD -- THE '60S ARE OVER It finally happened -- Bob Dylan has allowed The Times They Are A-Changin' to be used in an advertisement on television. The ad went on the air this month, but it is not the first -- only the most amazing -- example of the commercial use of a rebellious classic. -- Song: The Times They Are A-Changin', Bob Dylan -- Product: Coopers & Lybrand, accountants For an undisclosed sum, Dylan permitted the Big Six firm to use folkie Richie Havens' rendition of his protest anthem. The company cannot use Dylan's name, even when discussing the spot. Copyright 1994 Time Inc. All rights reserved. O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- The times, they have a-changed. Timothy Leary, the '60s LSD guru, was detained Tuesday at the Austin airport for smoking -- a cigarette. Leary, 73, said he wanted to draw attention to people being ``demonized'' by the politically correct. ``We were told by an official that smoke in the airport would get us a citation. So we did look for a policeman to check this out,'' he said. Leary was detained at the airport for about an hour. The offense carries a maximum $500 fine. A court hearing was scheduled for May 18. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\---------///////////////////////////////////// The real danger from advertising is that it helps to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious non-material possessions: the confidence in the existence of meaningful purposes of human activity and respect for the integrity of man. Paul Baran and Paul Sweezy //////////////////////////////---------\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Subject: ascii troll s sS. S, $Ss, SSs$$SSs, s SSs$$SSSSs,Ss. SSs$$SSSS$$ss sSSs$$SSS$$sSSS. s sSSSs$$SSSSS$$sSSs$s, sSSSSs$$SSSSSSS$$sSS$$SS, s sSSSSSSs$$SSSSSSS$$sSSSs$$SSs, sSs$$SSSSs$$SSSSSSS$$sSSSSSS$$SSSSs sSSs$$SSSSSS$$SSSSSS$$sSSSSSSs$$SSSSSS, sSSSS$$SSSSSSSS$SSSSSSS$$sSSSSSSS$$SSSSSSs, sSSSSSs$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs$$SSSSSSSSs SSSSSSS$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS$$SSSSSSSSSS, .SSSSSSSs$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs$$SSSSSSSSSSS, SSSSSSSSS$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS$$SSSSSSSSSSSSS, .SSSSSSSSSs$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS $SSSSSSSSSSS$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS .s$$SSSSSSSSSs$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS' SSs$$SSSSSSSSSS$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS$s SSSSs$$SSSSSSSSS$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS$$sS SSSSSSs$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS$$sSSS `SSSSSSSs$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS$$sSSSSS SSSSSSSSs$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS$$sSSSSSSS' `SSSSSSs$$SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS$$sSSSSSSSS SSSSSs$$SSSSSSS%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%SSSSSS$$sSSSSSS' `SSSSSSSSSSS%,;mmmmmnv%%;;;%%vnmmmmm;,%SSSSSSSSSS' `SSSSSSS.vnnmmvvvvvmmn%%;%%nmmvvvvvmmnnv.SSSSSS' `S%%%%,vnnmmvv' `vmmn%;%nmmv' `vvmmnnv,%%%S' /vmnnnvnnmmmvv, .vnnnv;vnnnv, .vvmmmnnvnnnmv\ ;vm;%%nvnnnnnnnvvvv%;mmmmmmm;%vvvvnnnnnnnvn%%;mv; `vmm;%nvnnmmmmnnv%;mmmmmmmmmmm;%vnnmmmmnnvn%;mmv' `vmmnvnnmmmmnvv%;m%%mmmmm%%m;%vvnmmmmnnvnmmv' \vvvnnnvvv;vvvvvnnnnnnnvvvvv;vvvnnnvvv/ \vvnnn;vvv;vvvvvvvvvvvvv;vvv;nnnvv/ \vvnnnvv;%;%;%;%;%;vvnnnvv/ .,v% \nnnmmmmmmmmmnnn/%v,. .,vvnnnvv%;%;%;%;%;%;%;%vvnnvv,. .,vvnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnvv,. ,vvnnnnnnnnvvvvnnnnnnnnnnnnnnvvvvnnnnnnnnvv, ,vvnnnnnnnnnvvmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmvvnnnnnnnnnvv, .vvnnnnnnnnnn `mmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmm' nnnnnnnnnnvv. .vvnnnnnnnnnn' mmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmm `nnnnnnnnnnvv. vmmvnmmvnmmv' .nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, `vmmnvmmnvmmv `nm%nm%nm%' nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn `%mn%mn%mn' nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnn(*)nnnnnnnnnnnnn .vmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmv, .vnvmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmvnv. .vvnvvvmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmmmvvvnvv. vvnnnnvvvvmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnmmmvvvvvnnnvv .vvnnnnnnnvvvvvvvv' `vvvvvvvnnnnnnnvv. vvnnnnnnnnnnnnnnvv vvnnnnnnnnnnnnnvv .vvnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnv vnnnnnnnnnnnnnnvv. vnmnvnmnvnmnvnmnvnm. .mnvnmnvnmnvnmnvnmv vmmm%mmm%mmm%mmm%mmm mmm%mmm%mmm%mmm%mmm WILLIAMSBURG, Va. (AP) -- Gumby was taken from Scott and Suzanne Dye's front porch on Memorial Day, and the theft caught the media's fancy for about a week, especially after a ransom note was delivered to a radio station. A group calling itself the ``JEHU Revolutionary Front'' sent a ransom demand, along with a snapshot of Gumby bound and blindfolded, demanding that Gov. George Allen donate $5 to a Richmond homeless shelter. The governor declined to meet the ransom demand. Scott Dye said that the 7-foot stuffed toy was returned Wednesday night. ``Now, we're having a party,'' he said. Crystal Manuel, 16, said she saw Gumby sitting outside a tent at a campground over the Memorial Day weekend and asked the boys in the tent if she could have it. ``I love Gumby,'' she said. But when she saw a television report Wednesday evening of Gumby's abduction, she knew she had to return the stuffed toy. ``I wanted Gumby to come home, but I never thought it would happen,'' Mrs. Dye said as Gumby was put back on the front porch. Allen spokeswoman Melissa Herring said that although the ransom demand may have been made in jest, the governor refused to pay ``for several reasons, the first being that a crime was committed when the Gumby doll was stolen, and if he paid the $5 it could cause a copycat incident to occur. And we certainly don't want that to happen.'' Officials at the homeless shelter said they knew nothing about the ransom note. oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The nature documentaries are as absurdly action-packed as the soap operas, where a life's worth of divorce, adultery, and sudden death are crammed into a weeks worth of watching - trying to understand "nature" from watching Wild Kingdom is as tough as trying to understand "life" from watching Dynasty. Bill McKibben The Age of Missing Information oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO * In December, Rory Thompson, 57, was granted a patent for a device that permits viewers to see an ordinary color TV, or computer screen, in three dimensions. Thompson developed the device in Risdon Prison Hospital in Hobart, Australia, where he has lived for ten years. He was declared insane following a 1984 conviction for killing his wife and flushing parts of her body down a toilet. Washington Post, 12-8-93 oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Does someone keep a list of some of the more ludicrous, pin-headed, unenforceable legislation that people try to introduce ? This belongs there. . . > A measure soon to be introduced on Capitol Hill would require that all > network providers, including the Internet and commercial on-line services, > build in the capability to record any person's e-mail and deliver it to > federal law-enforcement authorities. Government agents will need only to > show a person merits investigation, rather than obtain a court order as is > the case for telephone eavesdropping. (Business Week 3/14/94 p.55) oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO EUREKA, Ill. - In a grade school classroom a decade ago, 11-year-old Martha Tennis carved a bust of Ronald Reagan in a bar of Ivory soap and sent it to the president. Now 21, married and working in a nursing home, Martha Schumacher is amazed the her carving is enshrined with presidential jelly beans, yo-yos and a mini-samurai helmet in a new Reagan museum at his alma mater, Eureka College. "Oh gross," she said, when told her sculpture was on display along with here 1984 fourth grade picture and a note apologizing that she didn't have enough soap to carve Nancy Reagan. =+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+ That's something that [English philosopher] David Hume pointed out a couple of centuries ago. In his work on political theory, he describes the paradox that, in any society, the population submits to the rulers, even though force is always in the hands of the governed. Ultimately the governors, the rulers, can only rule if they control opinion - no matter how many guns they have. This is true of the most despotic societies and the most free, he wrote. If the general population won't accept things, the rulers are finished. Noam Chomsky The Prosperous Few and the Restless Many ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. (AP) -- ``Star Trek'' creator Gene Roddenberry got his final wish -- his ashes flew on a space shuttle sometime after his death in 1991. NASA confirmed Thursday what his widow, Majel Barrett Roddenberry, divulged at a local Space Congress banquet Tuesday night -- that Roddenberry's ashes flew on a shuttle and were returned several days later to Earth aboard the spaceship. ``It is true,'' NASA spokesman Brian Welch said Thursday morning. ``It was approved as a personal effect'' of an astronaut, he said. Mrs. Roddenberry, an actress who appeared in the original and subsequent ``Star Trek'' series, said her husband ``would have given anything to have been able, just once, to go into that great galaxy he dreamed about, where so few men have gone before.'' Roddenberry died of a heart attack in October 1991 at age 70. O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~O In a consumer society there are inevitably two kinds of slaves: the prisoners of addiction and the prisoners of envy. Ivan Illich (b.1926) ******************************************************************************* No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. Henry Louis Mencken (1800-1956) ***wubba**********wubba***wubba**********wubba***wubba**********wubba*********** After 2 1/2 years of looking, the Visible Human Project at the National Library of Medicine (NLM) in Bethesda, Md., settled recently on the cadavers of a 38-year-old man and a 59-year-old woman to represent the online human body. Using digitized photography, computerized tomography, and magnetic resonance imaging in 1 mm sections of the cadavers, the project will build a 42-gigabyte, three-dimensional image database of the two for distribution over the Internet. Project planners hope to combine the imaging data with other types of information -- journal articles, for example -- using interlinked information structures. According to project officer Michael J. Ackerman at NLM, investigators had some difficulty finding the "average" man and woman between the ages of 20 and 60 that they needed: two individuals who were healthy but had died suddenly without physical trauma. It seems that far more men than women die in this way, usually from drug overdoses, he says. The pair, who will, in a sense, represent the first human beings in cyberspace, are called "Adam" and "Eve" by project workers. The Scientist, Vol:8, #10, May 16, 1994 ========================================== | ,dP""8a "888888b, d8b "888b ,888" | | 88b " 888 d88 dPY8b 88Y8b,8888 | | `"Y8888a 888ad8P'dPaaY8b 88 Y88P888 | | a, Y88 888 dP Y8b 88 YP 888 | | `"8ad8P'a888a a88a;*a888aa88a a888a | | ;*;;;;*;;;*;;;*,, | | _,---'':::';*;;;*;;;*;;*d;, | | .-' ::::::::::';*;;*;dII; | | .' ,<<<,. :::::::::::::::ffffff`. | | / ,<<<<<<<<,::::::::::::::::fffffI,\ | | .,<<<<<<<<<;,::::::::::fffKKIP | | | ``<<<<<<>>>>;,::::fffKKIPf ' | | \ `mYMMV?;;;;;;;\>>>>>>>>>,YIIPP"` / | | `. "":;;;;;;;;;i>>>>>>>>>>>>>, ,' | | `-._``":;;;sP'`"?>>>>>=========. | | `---..._______...|<[Hormel | | | `=========' | =====================================(FL)=] "If you grew up with television, and you add all of your tube time together, you will have spent roughly 10 years watching television by the time you're 70. You also will have spent about 23 years sleeping. That means that nearly a quarter of your waking time was in front of the set." The Hartford Courant. O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O -- Song: Teach Your Children, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young -- Product: Fruit of the Loom underwear For $1.5 million, Fruit of the Loom used 30 seconds of the song, with writer Nash himself rerecording it. ''I'm not that precious about my music. We're not talking Mozart here,'' he said. Copyright 1994 Time Inc. All rights reserved. O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O Advertising is legalized lying. Herbert George Wells (1866-1946) ()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==() The _Toronto Globe and Mail_ reported in October on the religious importance of Pepsi-Cola in the town of San Juan Chamula, in southern Mexico. Practicing a blend of Christianity and worship of Mayan gods, many parishioners believe their leaders' doctrine that because Pepsi has more bubbles than Coca-Cola, it is closer to the sun and therefore more powerful. Bottles of Pepsi appear among holy artifacts inside local churches, and some leaders believe the cola has healing powers. (Coca- Cola officials say the dominance is due purely to Pepsi's payment of kickbacks to the leaders.) -from "News of the Weird", _Washington City Paper_, 1/6/94. ()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==() "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." Lynn Lavner ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]------[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ Since we must restrict our conversation to what we have in common, our global-village campfires are not as productive as the old tribal ones. We can find subjects of interest to all only by *erasing* content, paring away information - the things that interest me may not interest, or even be comprehensible, to you. A couple of years ago, for instance, Britain was rife with rumors that McDonald's was sending money to the Irish Republican Army. It turned out that CNN had reported that the hamburger giant had set up individual retirement accounts for its employees. This was a mix-up between two of the nations on earth that have the most in common, including a language - the only solution is to simplify. Bill McKibben The Age Of Missing Information ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]------[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ They say it's the responsibility of the media to look at government -- especially the president -- with a microscope. I don't argue with that, but when they use a proctoscope, it's going too far. - Richard Milhous Nixon (1913 - 1994) Television is to news as bumperstickers are to philosophy. - Richard Milhous Nixon (1913 - 1994) >>>>----------------------------------------------------------------<<<<< Ad for Peters Light & Creamy Ice Cream now airing in Australia: A woman is confiding to the camera: "I feel so guilty--I suck in my stomach in the gym. I feel guilty because I don't like sensitive men. And...I faked it with Kevin last night. And this is my second bowl of ice cream. Well, at least I don't have to feel guilty about that." The phone rings... "Hello? Kevin? Yeah, you were great." Advertising Age, January 17, 1994, page I-8. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>yuk<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< You know, sometimes a magazine can change your life, like MAD Magazine, or Rolling Stone before the cigarette ads, or the Co-Evolution Quarterly, or Scientific American, or for God's sake, even the New Yorker, but so far, MONDO 2000 and WIRED just make me want to keep mine the way it is... ericl@miles.esd.sgi.com (Eric Linstadt) xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX > hayden@krypton.mankato.msus.edu (Robert A. Hayden) writes: > >It is documented that your brain will live for a minute or two after your >heart stops pumping until it uses up its air and expires. Do you think >that if you had your head chopped off, you would live for a little bit >and see things before you died? What would it be like to breathe without >lungs or to try to move an arm than doesn't exist? One of my summer jobs was working in the graphic arts department supporting a major teaching hospital. One day my boss and her ex-husband, a high-up in some research animal lab, got into an argument over this question. They conducted a survey of various professors, and reported back that you can expect seven seconds of conciousness before all the blood drains from your brain. )))---~~~~~~~~~>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>_________<<<<<<<<<<<<<<~~~~~~~~___(((((( Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. Ambrose Gwinett Bierce (1843-1914) _The Devil's Dictionary_, 1911 ()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==() >From Dallas Morning News, May 15, 1994, Weathervane column: Workers at The Science Place in Fair Park were perplexed by several inquiries in the days before Tuesday's solar eclipse. Some callers found the timing inconvenient and wanted to know why the museum hadn't scheduled the event for a weekend so more people could attend. Others wondered if there was a rain date for eclipse-watching activities. Texas' next major solar eclipse should be more accomodating - May 20, 2012, comes on a Sunday. -------------===========OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO================------------- Famed scientist Carl Sagan apparently didn't cotton to Apple Computer Inc.'s having borrowed his name for a new computer. After receiving a complaint from Sagan, Apple changed the internal code name of an upcoming model from "Carl Sagan" to "Butt-Head Astronomer," the San Francisco Chronical reports. The scientist asked the company to stop using his name after an article about the new model appeared in MacWeek magazine, the newspaper said. The Butt-Head Astronomer - referred to as BHA for short- is one of three Apple models that will use the PowerPC microprocessor, which was developed by an alliance of Apple, Motorola Inc, and IBM Corp. -------------===========OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO================------------- ascii Mona ::';t)/!||||(//L+)'(-\\/ddjWWW#######WmKK(\!(/-|J=/\\t/!-/\!_L\)! :|-!/(!-)\L\)/!\5(!.!LWW###################WK/|!\\\\/!;\/\T\/((\- :|!'//\//(-!t\Y/\L!m#####M####################WLt\\!)\/J-//)/;t\, :--/-.\.\/\.!)///m######K#######################WK!/!-( )-!,|/\T ://,\--`--!-/\(q#######DD##########################L\\\\-!!//!\\, :-.-!\'!!\-\/:W########N############################W,).'-.-/\-'; :!.\!-!-!`!-!W#######P|+~**@@@#######################W/,/'\-/,\7- :--`,-- -/.:W###*P!' \`Z8#####################;,\\`,\,\ :`.'.'\`-.-d##5'- -- '-:V@##########W#########_\-!-\\- :`, -,.'/,G##K- ' - )7KM###################\-----/ :- '- --:##@; -!ZZ###################W! \'!-' : '-.`- G###|. `,D8K###################|/-.-/, :-' ,-//###@) -)ZWMW##################\` _\ :- ' .:Yd###! `-!(K5K##################|(/L|, : - :\G###Z- ` ! -;55ZZ#################)(4)' : . -!W####!\ ` ' !-tVG################XNVZ- : tt####@-. 666 ` ')(W################D)8@| : )8#####\ .-`-/KW#################KD#| : ||Z####W!- .::,\.. -,;\bZKK######8#K#########(#8| : KN8#####( ,:!/GG_ d4KW8ZKW#WWK#W#88#######W##########WK#- : )/8K###K#W#WP~~~T4( dW##7'___L#M####MM8W###W############bM8| :\!48#K####8##W*###WY; WRob+~~######*ff/\NM8###############WW#| :.\\KW###W#,~t' !*~!', -M@) `~`,),' '.`K#################@KW| :.'8M###### -'..j/Z'' @//- ,,\\+\' :|W######M###########8| ::\#8#K###D \!` !:Z8###8@#####8W#W###8M| :q8W5###### `!- `-)8##################M8; :8WZ8#M####- / . .\tK############@######ZJ! :#W#@K###W#| // \\tW@###@K##W##W###K###Wm; :##8#M#8###P- -=/, /;D8W##############@###W##| :#8###M@####\- , _)jJ; -((WKK#####W####W##K######K| :###W@K##K##); `\..KW##WK )X)KW#M##W###MW##@#W######8#| :#K#W####@#@@/;- ~M####M\ ,.\\=)D8W##W###W##########8W##@| :####MW######(`\\' PPK((.:|/!-\-/)8XN@WMK#######W##MK#@#####| :##8##MK#W#@#b!--\)L_. .(ZLWbW#\'- ,-N|/KM#######W###@########W#| :##KW###K#W###/- !``~~Yff*N5f -' -.\))KK#######MK##W###M8W#W###| :#W###K@K######J-- .._dd/;)/- !//)NK#8W##########8########M#K| :##8W#K###W#####W!. `YY\)\\)\7(-)4dW#8#@###K#W#######8########| :M####8##K#KW###W#/, '-\\//)88W#M#@#K##M###@##M#8##@#W#8#M| :ZW#W#M#K##########m -)!/LtWW#W##@#W#####KW#######W###K###| :K##W#####W#M#8#####KL .-//dD##8W#K######8##########MK###W##M#| :tN#W##W#W#M##########bb4dKW#@##W##K####MK####8###########W#####| :)NM#8W##@###@##############@##@##8##K#W####M##K##K#@###8##M####| :(tMM###W##M8####@####@###@#########@####8W##8W################M| :tNZ##K###W####@#####8###/4N##8#W##W##M#8#MK#M8#K######W########| :M/K@8###M@###M##########|!t*Z#N####8##M8Z@ZZ#M###@#W#####K###W#| :WVd4M######@############D,\`(+KKZD#8WK#5@84VZ#WM############W##| :K5WM8#8W#W########8######,,-!/))ZK5@K4)@+(/XV/Z###@###W###M####| :+8WN@##@K##W###W#########b.-.\!||\X(5)Z/7\\\t5/K########W######| :8M8###@###@##8#########KDbt! !.-!t`(-\\!.\/.\!ZdG###W#MW###G###| :~~~~~`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'~` '' ' ` ` ' ' ` ``~`~`~`~~~~'~~~~' Fired Worker Spices Up Woody Woodpecker Film CHARLESTON, W.Va. - A disgruntled employee added part of an R-rated movie about a prostitute to the end of at least 500 copies of a Woody Woodpecker video, forcing 20,000 copies to be recalled. UAV Corp. of Fort Mill, S.C., took back copies of the 30-minute tape, "Woody Woodpecker and Friends No. 3015," last month after complaints, company President Jerry Pettus said Friday. The fired video production worker added a two-minute scene from the 1991 movie "Whore," staring Theresa Russell as a woman who turns to prostitution after a bad marriage. ()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==()=={ oOo }==() During the last period of our friendship [Damian] had said that we had been given a god to worship who represented only one arbitrarily separated half of the world (it was the official, sanctioned, luminous world), but that we ought to be able to worship the whole world; this meant that we would either have to have a god who was also a devil or institute a cult of the devil or institute a cult of the devil alongside the cult of god. Hermann Hesse Demian //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// >Subj: NUCLEAR TERRORISM >Date: 94-05-08 19:59:45 EDT >From: >Posted on: America Online > >I am a former limo driver, confidant of Soviet State Security >agents posted to NYC, with Special Task of providing the >logistical support for the deployment of tactical nuclear strike in >the event of WWIII. I had made an indiscretion that was nearly >fatal. Now I spend my time in hiding and slipping assassination >attempts. Am looking to fictionalize my story so as to shore up >weak financial position. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Today [1988] fifty corporations own most of the output of daily newspapers and most of the sales and audience in magazines, broadcasting, books, and movies. The fifty men and women who head these corporations would fit in a large room. They constitute a new Private Ministry of Information and culture. Americans, like most people, get images of the world from their newspapers, magazines, radio, television, books, and movies. The mass media become the authority at any given moment for what is true and what is false, what is reality and what is fantasy, what is important and what is trivial. There is no greater force in shaping the public mind; even brute force triumphs only by creating an accepting attitude toward the brutes. - Ben Bagdikon _Media Monopoly_ }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Despite the fact that more accidents happen in the home than elsewhere, increasing efficiency of communication and of controlling human behavior can, instead of liberating us into the air like birds, fix us to the ground like toadstools. All information will come in by super-realistic television and other electronic devices as yet in the planning stage or barely imagined. In one way this will enable the individual to extend himself anywhere without moving his body - even to distant regions of space. But this will be a new kind of individual -an individual with a colossal external nervous system reaching out and out into infinity. And this electronic nervous system will be so interconnected that all individuals plugged in will tend to share the same thoughts, the same feelings, and the same experiences. There may be specialized types, just as there are specialized cells and organs in our bodies. For the tendency will be for all individuals to coalesce into a single bioelectronic body. Alan Watts The book: on the taboo against knowing who you are 1966 }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ "He'd never been a morning person, ever. Morning was that awful thing that happened every day before noon, something to avoid if possible, endure if not." Mercedes Lackey's "Summoned to Journey" p. 248 "Men. Can't live with 'em, and you can't get a new operating system." p. 202 ************************************************************************* GENERATIONAL ICONS Kids respond to Beavis and Butthead on AOL From: Steven and Debbie Baumrucker Date: Thu, 20 Jan 1994 04:05:20 GMT I thought the readers of alt.best.of.internet would be interested in the following quotes from the kids area on the Disney board on AOL. Somehow they got on the topic of Beavis and Butthead. I wish we'd had a public forum like this when we were kids. The bathroom wall had a limited (though devoted) audience. All spelling and punctuation are as originally posted. OO------------------OO Subj: Re:Don't blame Beavis >From LeighM3271 Blaming Beavis and Butt-head for voilence in America totally wrong because 50 years ago Elvis was blamed for things because the way he danced. Now the same people who supported Elvis are apposed to Beavis and Butt-head. OO------------------OO Subj: It does suck From: Rooster523 Beavis and Buthead is the most stooped show on t.v. OO------------------OO Subj: Beavis and Butthead From: Bilfo FIRE should be put back in the show, it's boring without it. OO------------------OO Subj: Beavis and Butthead From: ABSHS I THINK THEY ARE A PERFECT DISCRIBTION OF WHAT OUR SOCIETY IS TURNING INTO. AND I LOVE IT. OO------------------OO Subj: beavis and butthead From: AlliMack I think that Beavis and Butthead are making a bat influence on kids today. After all we are the leaders of the future. OO------------------OO ******************************************************************************* In regard to propaganda the early advocates of universal literacy and a free press envisaged only two possibilities: the propaganda might be true, or it might be false. They did not foresee what in fact has happened, above all in our Western capitalist democracies -- the development of a vast mass communications industry, concerned in the main neither with the true nor the false, but with the unreal, the more or less totally irrelevant. In a word, they failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions. In their propaganda today's dictators rely for the most part on repetition, suppression and rationalization -- the repetition of catchwords which they wish to be accepted as true, the suppression of facts which they wish to be ignored, the arousal and rationalization of passions which may be used in the interests of the Party or the State. As the art and science of manipulation come to be better understood, the dictators of the future will doubtless learn to combine these techniques with the non-stop distractions which, in the West, are now threatening to drown in a sea of irrelevance the rational propaganda essential to the maintenance of individual liberty and the survival of democratic institutions. Aldous Huxley, 1958 (1894-1963) _Brave New World Revisited_ )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))************************((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Apparently two Chinese nationals working for a software company in Denver were caught stealing code being developed for communication. They had been given $500,000 by the Chinese govt to set up a company owned by the Chinese govt. while they still worked for the Denver company. A raid on their homes indicate they had set up an elaborate computer system and had copies of the material being developed by their Denver employers. Supposedly this involves national network computer security, but not the Clipper Chip. The story seems to have implications beyond commercial theft. Werner Uhrig )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))************************((((((((((((((((((((((((((( I do not without a certain inner resistance and resentment accept a system of marketing in which all the decisions have been taken out of both the shopkeeper and the customer and put under the remote control of the market researcher and the packaging expert, the advertising agency and the wholesale distributor. Those who have grown up in this packaged world accept such external controls and compulsions as normal. Their loss of choice, their loss of taste; they do not even notice for they have never known anything different. - Lewis Mumford (1895-1990) from his autobiography /////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike. - Emile Henry Gauvreay \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\//////////////////////////////////////////// Mother is the dead heart of the family, spending father's earnings on consumer goods to enhance the environment in which he eats, sleeps, and watches television. Germaine Greer (b.1939) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Forwarded-by: Eric Allman From: "Bret A. Marquis" The American Psychiatric Association cites "Disorder of Written Expression" as code 315.2 in its _Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders_. According to an op-ed piece in this morning's _New York Times_, its symptoms include "poor use of grammar or punctuation, sloppy paragraph organization, awful spelling. ..." Now they think they can stop the Internet by having us all declared insane. O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O -- Song: Revolution, the Beatles -- Product: Nike athletic shoes Michael Jackson owned the rights to the Lennon and McCartney composition, Capitol Records owned the original masters, and so for $500,000 Nike was allowed to use the actual voices of the Beatles. Copyright 1994 Time Inc. All rights reserved. O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O The price of freedom of religion or of speech or of the press is that we must put up with, and even pay for, a good deal of rubbish. - Justice Robert Houghwout Jackson (1892-1954) (*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*) For reasons I can scarcely explain it is now my most dire fear that the FISH are out to get us. They manifest themselves in our homes in those oh, so innocent looking little bowls of water, and just swim and stare at us. I don't trust them. They upset me. B. Hathrum Duk (*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*)--(*) What someone doesn't want you to publish is journalism; all else is publicity. - anonymous =============================================================================== 98% of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other 2% have to generate their own sex and violence. - Franklin P. Jones @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket. - George Orwell (1903-1950) ************************ _\/ \/_ \ __ / \_/__\_/ | \__/ | |______| | | |______| / \ / \ _/ \_ ASCII art by: Jennifer Jeannette Clark Jule of MariMUSE JULE@PC2.pc.maricopa.edu O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O The other day, I walked over to my kitchen sink to drink some water. When I put my head to the nosle, I noticed that in front of me was the back of a Joy bottle (the soap company) . So I began to read the back. After scanning, I found: AVOID ACCIDENTS: Keep joy out of the reach of children. If Joy gets in your eyes, rinse thououghly with water. If swallowed, drink a glass of water to dilute. This is a true fact. Go look for yourself! =|8<)= ----Yeroc (yeroc@crl.com) --||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||----------------- All over the place, from the popular culture to the propaganda system, there is constant pressure to make people feel that they are helpless, that the only role they can have is to ratify decisions and to consume. - Avram Noam Chomsky (b.1928) --||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||----------------- Some people may think that leaders of the free press would perhaps accomplish more if their claims of constitutional right were less expansive. I do not agree with this. I say it is their duty to fight like tigers right down the line and not give an inch. This is the way our freedoms have been preserved in the past, and it is the way they will be preserved in the future. - Harold R. Medina (1888-?) U.S. Senior Circuit Judge )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( If you can persuade your customer to tattoo your name on their chest, they probably will not switch brands. - an Indiana University professor re: Harley-Davidson owners )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( The junk merchant does not sell his product to the consumer, he sells the consumer to the product. He does not improve and simplify his merchandise. He degrades and simplifies the client. - William Seward Burroughs (b.1914) _Naked Lunch_, 1959 )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ELECTRONIC EAVESDROPPING A measure soon to be introduced on Capitol Hill would require that all network providers, including the Internet and commercial on-line services, build in the capability to record any person's e-mail and deliver it to federal law-enforcement authorities. Government agents will need only to show a person merits investigation, rather than obtain a court order as is the case for telephone eavesdropping. (Business Week 3/14/94 p.55) }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]][[[[[[[[[[{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Newspapers should have no friends. - Joseph Pulitzer (1847-1911) }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]][[[[[[[[[[{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ The bigger the information media, the less courage and freedom they allow. Bigness means weakness. - Eric Sevareid }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]][[[[[[[[[[{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ There are some things the general public does not need to know and shouldn't. I believe democracy flouriches when the government can take legitimate steps to keep its secrets and when the press can decide whether to print what it knows. Katherine Meyer Graham (b.1917) owner of _Washington Post_ >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--------oOo------------<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Everything you read in the newspapers is absolutely true except for that rare story of which you happen to have firsthand knowledge. - Erwin Knoll (b.1931) O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O -- Song: Born to Be Wild, Steppenwolf -- Product: The Ford Mercury Cougar With a yuppie, his leather jacket, and his Cougar, the ad was part of a campaign that also used Proud Mary and the Beatles' Help. In three years the average age of Cougar buyers fell from 44 to 35. Copyright 1994 Time Inc. All rights reserved. O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. - Stephen Butler Leacock (1869-1944) Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, especially if the goods are worthless. - Sinclair Lewis (1885-1951) O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O -- Song: Satisfaction, the Rolling Stones -- Product: Snickers candy bars Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, the songwriters, and ABKCO, the owner of the rights to the song, were made an irresistible offer in 1991: $4 million, with $2.8 million going to the composers. Copyright 1994 Time Inc. All rights reserved. O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O Writing for television is a debilitating exercise. How can you inspire an audience to their best when every fourteen minutes someone interrupts to tell them that they're unfit to live with? The ultimate purpose of commercial television is to convince the viewer that he smells bad. - Solomon Short >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--------oOo------------<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< The problem is not that television presents us with entertainining subject matter, but that all subject matter is presented as entertaining. - Neil Postman >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--------oOo------------<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< The trouble with us in America isn't that the poetry of life has turned to prose, but that it has turned to advertising copy. - Louis Kronenberger (b.1904) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--------oOo------------<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Sanely applied advertising could remake the world. - Stuart Chase (1888-?) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--------oOo------------<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver. - Ambrose Gwinett Bierce (1843-1914) _The Devil's Dictionary_, 1911 O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O -- Song: Turn! Turn! Turn!, the Byrds -- Product: TIME the weekly newsmagazine Folk legend Pete Seeger set words from the Book of Ecclesiastes to music, and the Byrds' version became a huge early hippie hit. In the ad it segued into ''Hi, I'm Nancy, an operator here at Time.'' Copyright 1994 Time Inc. All rights reserved. O====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====o====O More ASCII art that slurped into our transum.... ___________ ____ __ __ ______/ \__// \__/____\ / V \ _/ \_/ : //____\\ / \ /| : : .. / \ / \ | | :: :: \ / (_ _ _ _) | | :| || \ \______/ | \_ _/ | | | || || |\ / | | | | | \| || || | / | \ <<-+ ARE A +->> | | | | | || || | / /_\ \ | | | | | ___ || ___ || | / / \ | | | | \_-_/ \_-_/ | ____ |/__/ \ | | | | _\_--_/ \ / | | | | /____ / _____ | | | | ______ / \ / /, , ,\| |/ , ,\ \______\_________/ / , , ` , , \ / , , ` ` , \ \ ` ` ` / \ ' ` ' , , , / \__________/\__________/ Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community. - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--------oOo------------<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< In 1975, a Senate intelligence committee found that the CIA owned outright more than 200 wire services, newspapers, magazine, and book publishing complexes and subsidized many more.... - Professor Patricia Cayo Sexton _The War on Labor and the Left. Understanding America's Unique Conservatism_ oooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO()OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo COMPUTERS WERE LEFT OUTSIDE: Rows of government-owned computers were stored outside at the Sandia National Laboratory in Albuquerque, N.M., says a report from the Department of Energy's internal watchdog. The report, dated March 1, includes photographs showing rows of personal computers and other electronic equipment placed on wooden pallets. Nothing covered any of the equipment, much of which was ruined. oooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO()OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo Advertising promotes that divine discontent which makes people strive to improve their economic status. - Ralph S. Butler oooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO()OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo >From European Elan, No 209. 13-19 May, 1994. CYBERFLOP HORROR Bologna, Italy A record 35,000 people were attracted to this year's Bologna Erotica Festival. Excitement was at a fever pitch following news that it would be the pioneering showcase for the eroticism of the future -- cybersex. This is simulated sex, using computer screens and electronic probes. Unfortunately, on the night, the cybersex suits kept blowing up. One of the lady demonstrators, Milly, told the audience not only that she felt nothing pleasant, but also that she feared the machine could harm her. To stop the resulting exodus of the audience from the room, Milly, in despair, tore off her cybersuit and adopted a good old- fashioned tactic: she bared her breasts. The Norwegian inventor of the electronic sex machine, Stahl Stenslie, said the technology was still at an experimental stage -- and Milly had "moved around too much." He claimed that his device would enable any two people in the world to make love from a distance, provided they each had a Macintosh computer, a modem and access to a telephone line. The cybersex machine was not a porn accessory, but was intended to alleviate "profound social problems": for instance, "to aid the disabled and those in prison." oooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO()OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo From: Ian Chai Subject: More signs of the times ------------------------------------ These are actual signs seen across the USA: In a florida maternity ward: "No children allowed" In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home." In a toy department: "Five santa clauses, no waiting." On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship." On military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel." On a display of "You're my one and only" valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs." In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan" On an Indiana shopping mall marquee: Archery tournament. Ears pierced. In the window of a general store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come right here?" In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends" In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves." In front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car." oooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO()OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo That's All Fols. Thanks for tuning in and watch for Unplastic News #13 SOON!!! (really) Watch our Web page for Updates!!!!!!!!!!! We love you (especially when you wiggle). TP =================================================================== PS--->> I have attached a few ASCII stereograms for your amusement. I think printing them out works the best. -->> TP To: /dev/null@python.bostic.com Subject: ASCII art meets a '90s trend Forwarded-by: chris@das.harvard.edu Forwarded-by: landis@odi.com FOR THOSE WHO don't know how to view these, you put them approx. a foot from your eyes, defocus on the X's until they split into 2 pairs, then keep going until the two in the middle meet, forming what looks like 3 X's. In that focus mode, look at the text. You should see various 3-D images pop up. It works on-screen or printed out. X X X$Y.GHu>K@i>g@yX$Y.GHu>K@i>g@yX$Y.GHu>K@i>g@yX$Y.GHu>K@i>g@yX$Y.GHu>K@i>g@yX$Y. &O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@y !NW|IBOxmr{li^7!NW|IBOxmr{l^7!NW|IBOoxmr{l^7!NW|IBOoxmr{l^7!N|IBbOoxmr{l^7!N|IB \=>k0]JwpQ:GxaZ\=>k0]JwpQ:GxZ\=>k0]JwppQ:GxZ\=>k0]JwppQ:GxZ=>k00]JwppQ:GxZ=>k00 s\ezsHE>{(a.K|Qs\ezsHE>{(a.K|s\ezsHE>{((a.K|s\ezsHE>{((a.Ks\eezsHE>{((a.Ks\eezs bCp)N{dE:kPaN_xbCp)N{dE:kPaN_xbp)N{dE:kPaaN_xbp)N{dE:kPaN_xbbp)N{dE:kPaN_xbbp)N u6',9nS$e:WO8!2'dEz#49Nti>O8!2'dEz#49Nti>O!2'dEz#499Nti>O!2'dE#4999Nti>O!2'dE#4999Nti>O +Xi&Sluv_lQnc<)+Xi&Sluv_lQnc<)+Xi&Suv_lQnc<)++Xi&SuvlQncc<)++Xi&SuvlQncc<)++Xi& ^CX!zO<1:{$]j+,^CX!zO<1:{$]j+,^CX!zO1:{$]j+,^CCX!zO:{$$]j+,^CCX!zO:{$$]j+,^CCX! U^CXYJC@=.ohaN/U^CXYJC@=.ohaN/U^CXYJC@.ohaN/U^CCXJC@..ohaN/U^CCXJC@..ohaN/U^CCX |qz{pQZgT!Vk4)2|qz{pQZgT!Vk4)2|qz{pQZgTVk4)2|qzZpQZZgTVk4)2|qzZpQZZgTVk4)2|qzZp _h]NoPA^ohY6kt-_h]NoPA^ohY6kt-_h]NoPA^oh6kt-_X]NoPPA^oh6kt-_X]NoPPA^oh6kt-_X]No &gxq>K0Yz?DU&w`&gxq>K0Yz?DU&w`&gxq>K0Yz?U&w`~gxq>K0YYz?U&w`~gxq>K0YYz?U&w`~gxq> y&otUb_$U.Od-&Ky&otUb_$U.Od-&Ky&otUb_$UOd-a&y&otUb_$UUOd-a&y&otUb_$UUOd-a&y&otU (Y*Cxm.7pI2O@yf(Y*Cxm.7pI2O@yf(Y*Cxm.pI2Oo@yfY*Cxm.pI22Oo@yfY*Cxm.pI22Oo@yfY*Cx w@!v;@1>/0%B_0Iw@!v;@1>/0%B_0Iw@!v;@>/00%B_0Iw!v;@>/00%BB_0Iw!v;@>/00%BB_0Iw!v; "/0aRK|MV3d)&7("/0aRK|MV3d)&7("/0aK|MVV3d)&7("/0K|MVV3d)&&7("/0K|MVV3d)&&7("/0K Qnk$evW85:WL%zCQnk$evW85:WL%zCQnkevWW85:WL%zCQnkeWW85:WL%zzCQnkeWW85:WL%zzCQnke T)2Gt!bsS9gileagildeagildeagildeagildeaK@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y. &O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@y !NW|IBOxmr{li^7!NW|IBOxmr{li^7!NW|IBOxmr{l^7!NW||IBxmr{l^^7!NW||IBxmr{l^^7!NW|| \=>k0]JwpQ:GxaZ\=>k0]JwpQ:GxaZ\=>k0]JwpQ:xaZ\=>k00JwpQ:xaaZ\=>k00JwpQ:xaaZ\=>k0 s\ezsHE>{(a.K|Qs\ezsHE>{(a.K|Qs\ezsHE>{(aK|Qs\ezsHE>{(aK||Qs\ezsHE>{(aK||Qs\ezs bCp)N{dE:kPaN_xbCp)N{dE:kPaN_xbCp)N{dE:kPN_xbCp)N{dE:kPN__xbCp)N{dE:kPN__xbCp)N u6' 9nS$e:WO8!2'dEz#49Nti>O8!2'dEz#49Nti>8!2'ddEz#4Nti>8!2'ddEz##4Nti8!2'dddEz##4Nti8!2 +Xi&Sluv_lQnc<)+Xi&Sluv_lQnc<)+X&Sluv_lQQnc<+X&Sluv_lQQQncK0Yz?DU&w`&gxq>K0Yz?DU&w`&gq>K0Yz?DU&w`&ggqK0YYzDU&w`&ggqK0YYzzDU&w`&ggqK0 y&otUb_$U.Od-&Ky&otUb_$U.Od-&Ky&tUb_$U.Od-&KKy&tb_$$U.O-&KKy&tb_$$UU.O-&KKy&tb_ (Y*Cxm.7pI2O@yf(Y*Cxm.7pI2O@yf(YCxm.7pI2O@@yf(YCm.77pI2O@yf(YCm.77ppI2O@yf(YCm. w@!v;@1>/0%B_0Iw@!v;@1>/0%B_0Iw@v;@1>/0%%B_0Iw@v@1>>/0%%B_0w@v@1>>//0%%B_0w@v@1 "/0aRK|MV3d)&7("/0aRK|MV3d)&7("/0RK|MVV3d)&7("/0R|MVVV3d)&7("0R|MVVVV3d)&7("0R| Qnk$evW85:WL%zCQnk$evW85:WL%zCQnk$evW85:WL%zCQnk$eW855:WL%zCQnk$eW855:WL%zCQnk$ T)2Gt!bsSSSSSK@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y. &O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$]J+hI20&O@yno$]JJ+hI20&O@yno$]JJ+hI20&O@yn !NW|IBOxmr{li^7!NW|IBOxmr{li^7!NW|IBOxm{li^7!NW|IBOxm{li^77!NW|IBOxm{li^77!NW|I \=>k0]JwpQ:GxaZ\=>k0]JwpQ:GxaZ\=>k0]JpQ:GxaZ\=>k0]JpQ:GxaZ\==>k0]JpQ:GxaZ\==>k0 s\ezsHE>{(a.K|Qs\ezsHE>{(a.K|Qs\ezsE>{(a.K|Qs\ezsE>{(a.K|Qs\ezzsE>{(a.K|Qs\ezzs bCp)N{dE:kPaN_xbCp)N{dE:kPaN_xbCpN{dE:kPaN_xbCpN{dE:kPaN_xbCpN{ddE:kPaN_xbCpN{d u6',9nS$e:WO8!2'dEz#49Nti>O8!2'dEz#49Nt>O8!2'Ez#499Nt>O8!2'Ez#99Nt>>O8!2'EEz#99Nt>>O8!2 +Xi&Sluv_lQnc<)+Xi&Sluv_lQnc<)Xi&SluvlQnc<<)Xi&SluvlQn<<)Xii&SluvlQQn<<)Xii&Slu ^CX!zO<1:{$]j+,^CX!zO<1:{$]j+,CX!zO<1:$]jj+,CX!zO<1:$]j+,CCX!zO<1:$$]j+,CCX!zO< U^CXYJC@=.ohaN/U^CXYJC@=.ohaN/^CXYJC@=.ohaN/^CXYJC@=.ohaN/^CXYJC@=..ohaN/^CXYJC |qz{pQZgT!Vk4)2|qz{pQZgT!Vk4)2qz{pQZgT!Vk4)2qz{pQZgT!Vk4)2qz{pQZgT!!Vk4)2qz{pQZ _h]NoPA^ohY6kt-_h]NoPA^ohY6kt-h]NoPA^ohY6kt-h]NoPA^ohY6kt-h]NoPA^ohhY6kt-h]NoPA &gxq>K0Yz?DU&w`&gxq>K0Yz?DU&w`gxq>K0Yz?DU&w`gxq>K0Yz?DU&w`gxq>K0Yz??DU&w`gxq>K0 y&otUb_$U.Od-&Ky&otUb_$U.Od-&K&otUb_$U.Od-&K&otUb_$U.Od-&K&otUb_$UU.Od-&K&otUb_ (Y*Cxm.7pI2O@yf(Y*Cxm.7pI2O@yf(*Cxm.7I2OO@yf(*Cxm.7I2OO@f(**Cxm.77I2OO@f(**Cxm. w@!v;@1>/0%B_0Iw@!v;@1>/0%B_0Iw@v;@1>/%B_00Iw@v;@1>/%B00Iww@v;@11>/%B00Iww@v;@1 "/0aRK|MV3d)&7("/0aRK|MV3d)&7("/0aK|MV3d&7("/0aK|MV3d&7(("/0aK||MV3d&7(("/0aK|| Qnk$evW85:WL%zCQnk$evW85:WL%zCQnk$eW85:WL%zQnk$eW85::WL%zQnk$eeW85::WL%zQnk$eeW T)2Gt!bsgildea<'d!>mgildea<'d!>mgildea<'d!>mS>gildeamS>gildeamS>gil E6STQn#PA&{h9jKE6STQn#PA&{h9jKE6STQn#PA&{h9jKE6STQn#PA&{h9jKE6STQn#PA&{h9jKE6ST O O +$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y.GHu>K@i>g@y+$Y. &O@yno$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$$]J+hI2g0&O@yno$$]J+hI2g0O@yno$$]J+hI2g0O !NW|IBOxmr{li^7!NW|IBOOxmr{li^7!NW|IBOOxmr{li^7!NW|IBOOxmr{li^7NW|IBOOxmr{li^7N \=>k0]JwpQ:GxaZ\=>k0]JJwpQ:GxaZ\=>k0]JJwpQ:GxaZ\=>k0]JJwpQ:GxaZ=>k0]JJwpQ:GxaZ= s\ezsHE>{(a.K|Qs\ezsHEE>{(.K|Qs\ezsHEE>{(.K|Qs\ezsHEE>{(.K||Qs\zsHEE>{(.K||Qs\z bCp)N{dE:kPaN_xbCp)N{ddE:kaN_xbCp)N{ddE:kaN_xbCp)N{ddE:kaN__xbC)N{ddE:kaN__xbC) u6',9nS$e:WO8!2'dEz#49Nti>O8!22'dE#49Ni>O8!22'dE#49Ni>O8!22'dE##49NNi>O!22'dE##49NNi>O! +Xi&Sluv_lQnc<)+Xi&Sluuv_lnc<)Xi&Sluuv_lnc<)Xi&Sluuv_lnnc<))Xi&luuv_lnnc<))Xi&l ^CX!zO<1:{$]j+,^CX!zO<<1:{]j+,CX!zO<<1:{]j+,CX!zO<<1:{]]j+,,CX!O<<1:{]]j+,,CX!O U^CXYJC@=.ohaN/U^CXYJCC@=.haN/^CXYCC@=.haN/^CXYCC@==.haaN/^^CXYC@==.haaN/^^CXYC |qz{pQZgT!Vk4)2|qz{pQZZgT!k4)2qz{pZZgT!k4)2qz{pZZgTT!k44)2qqz{pZgTT!k44)2qqz{pZ _h]NoPA^ohY6kt-_h]NoPAA^oh6kt-h]NoAA^oh6kt-h]NoAA^ooh6kkt-hh]NoA^ooh6kkt-hh]NoA &gxq>K0Yz?DU&w`&gxq>K00Yz?U&w`gxq>00YzU&w`gxq>000YzzU&ww`gxxq>00YzzU&ww`gxxq>00 y&otUb_$U.Od-&Ky&otUb__$U.d-&K&otU__$Ud-&K&otU___$UUd-&&K&ootU__$UUd-&&K&ootU__ (Y*Cxm.7pI2O@yf(Y*Cxm..7pIO@yfY*Cx..7pO@yfY*Cx...7ppO@yyfY**Cx..7ppO@yyfY**Cx.. w@!v;@1>/0%B_0Iw@!v;@11>/0B_0I@!v;11>/B_0I@!v;111>//B_00I@!!v;11>//B_00I@!!v;11 "/0aRK|MV3d)&7("/0aRK||MV3)&7(/0aR||MV)&7(/0aR|||MVV)&77(/00aR||MVV)&77(/00aR|| Qnk$evW85:WL%zCQnk$evWW85:L%zCnk$eWW85L%zCnk$eWWW855L%zzCnkk$eWW855L%zzCnkk$eWW T)2Gt!bsSS<+pA2ddAZ'!>S<+pA2ddAZZ'!>>S<++pA2dAZZ'!>>S<++pA2d E6STQn#PA&{h9jKE6STQn##PA&h9jK6STQn##PA&h9jK6STQn##PA&hh9jKK6STn##PA&hh9jKK6STn tQ*kp12_81:sx9:tQ*kp122_81sx9:Q*kp122_81sx9:Q*kp122_81ssx9::Q*k122_81ssx9::Q*k1 7x)JO8>gil9dea<7x)JO8>>gildea>gildea>gilddea<>gilddea<#IJo4a.''hmvL]>#IJo4a.''hmvL]>#IJo4a.''hmvL]>>#IJ4a.''hmvL]>>#IJ4 <]6{pE2ct16o(]*<]6{pE22ct1o(]*<]6{pE22ct1o(]*<]6{pE22ct1o(]]*<]{pE22ct1o(]]*<]{ s$1jO|eV_<)RG\%s$1jO|eeV_<)RG\%s$1jO|eeV_<)RG\%s$1jO|eeV_<)RG\%$1jO|eeV_<)RG\%$ ^s|5rO$mzOHA"CX^s|5rO$$mzOHA"CX^s|5rO$$mzOHA"CX^s|5rO$$mzOHA"CXs|5rO$$mzOHA"CXs Mj'd!z'0QB{tir7Mj'd!z''0QB{tir7Mj'd!z''0QB{tir7Mj'd!z''0QB{tir7j'd!z''0QB{tir7j @IvCHaVwL!Rw0)n@IvCHaVwL!Rw0)n@IvCHaVwL!Rw0)n@IvCHaVwL!Rw0)n@IvCHaVwL!Rw0)n@IvC ?8=VgXE"/`Ez#\1?8=VgXE"/`Ez#\1?8=VgXE"/`Ez#\1?8=VgXE"/`Ez#\1?8=VgXE"/`Ez#\1?8=V He was a postal worker. She sold lingerie by mail order. When they fucked, it was like napalm defoliating a jungle. On Thursdays, they went bowling. --The Elder Dan (briefly crisper)