The Unplastic News #8: The Psychic Net Godmother Issue An Odd Quote Compilation. January 1993 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 010101101010101100010101110010010010010100100101001111111100101010011001011001 | | O O -=( )=- -=( )=- U U ___/|\___ ___/|\___ LLLLLLLL LL LL LLLLLLLLL L LL LL LL L LLLLLLLL LLLLLL L LL LL LL L LL LL LLLLLLLLL LL LL LL L LLLLLL L LLLLLLL LLLLLLL LLLLLL L LLLLLL LL LL L L L L L L L L LL L L LL LL LL L L L LLLLLL L LLLLLLL LLLLLL L L LL LL LL L LL L L L L LL L L LL LLLLLLLL L L L LLLLL L L LLLLLL L L LLLLLL LL LL LLLLLLLLL LL LL LLLLLLLLL L L LL LL LL LL LL L L LL LLLLLL LL L LL LLLLLLL L L LL LL LL LL LL LL L L LL LL LL LL LL LL L LLL LLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLL Issue # 8 The Psychic Net Godmother Issue "Proof that something wyrdly funky is invading the computer networks." ( this issue: 2,347 Lines Long ) ______________________________________________________________________________ 011011100111010100101001101000001011100101000100101010100111100101010101000110 0\ /0 0\ /0 0 \ / 0 "We don't have to protect the environment-- 0 \ / 0 0 \ / 0 the Second Coming is at hand." 0 \ / 0 0 X 0 0 X 0 0 / \ 0 James Watt 0 / \ 0 0 / \ 0 0 / \ 0 0/ \0 0/ \0 010100111010010101001001000100100010011111100101010010010010101010101011101010 ______________________________________________________________________________ "We are drowning in information but starved for knowledge." John Naisbitt Megatrends {0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0}{0} January 1993 FREE the odd e-mail magazine w/soul ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ C O N T E N T S ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Editorial & Explanation of What You Are Reading The Year In Review A Look Ahead Through The Eyes of Various Seers The Emergence of The Psychic Net Godmother Bizarre Religious Meyham in These End Times Millennium Madness The Usual Non-Sequitur (Nonsectarian?) Quotes Modern Cyber-Dieties Dancing Nude in Phoenix The Unplastic News T-Shirt IS HERE Ritual, Language, Revolution and Things With Mustard Idiots With Power And OH! So Much More!! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++ the unplastic news is available ++++ at the following ftp news stands: ++++ ++++ redspread.css.itd.umich.edu in EFF.journals ++++ ftp.eff.org in pub/journals ++++ quartz.rutgers.edu in pub/journals ++++ ==== or by subscription by sending e-mail to: ==== ==== tibbetts@hsi.com ==== Perspiring Minds Want To Know ==== ============================================================================ Good Morning Viewers! As I write this, 1993 is off to a bang with bombs over Bagdad (again). It is this Deja Voodoo that makes me think back to days gone by. You know, I always seem to get nostalgic and/or nauseous at this time of the year ... when I think back to where we have been and where we are going and it all seems to congeal into one geletinous mass. And speaking of geletinous masses, please enjoy this new issue of Unplastic News. We originally attempted to collect our usual quotes and amass a type of retrospective of the past year. We had hoped to put it into some kind of perspective, but as it turns out we are more confused than we were to begin with. We promptly decided to pass our confusion onto you, the viewer. So, here it is. Issue #8. Quotes, snippetts and chunks of 1992 and beyond. And somewhere in this, somewhere deep, is the pumping of a digital heart. The pounding of a growing force which has yet to be understood. Or maybe that is just the sound of the bombs, because as I write this, 1993 is off to a bang with bombs over... Thalonious Platypus Jr., III Editor-In-Space Kyoto, January 13. 4:13am Embrace the Net WebSpirit! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ || || || || || "All the knowledge in the world is not wisdom." || || || || Albert Einstein || || || || || ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \ / \ Doubt is the beginning of wisdom. / \___________________________________________/ "If you don't like the news, go out and make your own." radio commentator Scoop Nisker OO----------------------------------------------------------------OO || || oOOo THE YEAR 1993 will produce extraordinary events such as the discovery of a cure for AIDS and a miraculous appearance by Jesus Christ... In a recent conversation with a friend, Pope John Paul II admitted to a divine meeting with the Virgin Mary. It was during that sensational encounter that the Pontiff learned of the impending appearance of Christ. John Paul told his friend that the miracle will occur on August 1 and will be witnessed by millions. The SUN January 12, 1993 +-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-=+-= Best Long Term Prediction (Sort Of) >From an article on Sen. Ted Kennedy's Presidential aspirations, by Lloyd Shearer in PARADE's "Intelligence Report" column, 1978: Political prophets are making a long term prediction that Kennedy's running mate in 1984 will be Bill Clinton, a tall, handsom, 31-year-old former Rhodes scolar and Yalie who is currently Arkansas' attorney general, most probably its next governor and one of the most potentially charismatic politicians in the country. ))--((...))--((...))--((...))--((...))--((...))--((...))--((...))--((...)) from the Loss-Of-Religious-Icons department... MCDONALD'S STATUE GOES UP IN FLAMES San Jose Mercury News - Wednesday June 19, 1991 PHOENIX - The kidnapping of a life-size Ronald McDonald statue came to an unhappy end, with the clown left burning in the desert. The 300-pound statue, stolen Sunday from a McDonald's in Mesa, was found in flames by a sheriff's helicopter crew that night. In a phone call claiming responsibility, a man said the robbery was an attempt to get McDonald's to offer better food for vegetarians. ___________________________________________________________________________ THEGODDESSOFTHENETHASTWISTINGFINGERSANDHERVOICEISLIKEAJAVALININTHENIGHTDUDE ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "[The McDonald's Corp. shows] children in commercials that hamburgers grow in hamburger patches and love to be eaten. They don't tell children that hamburgers are ground up cows that have their throats slit by a machete or their brains bashed in by sledge hammers. The original actor to play Ronald McDonald, Jeff Juliano, has evidently discovered the truth - he is now a vegetarian." San Diego RESOURCES for healing, growth and transformation October 1992 _______________________________________________________________________________ WILLTHATBEELECTRODEINSERTIONORNONELECTRODEINSERTINGANDWOULDYOULIKEFRIESWITHTHAT ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Remarkable breakthroughs in gene-splicing that will greatly ease world hunger. Scientists will be able to create giant cows that will provide barrels of milk, ostrich-like chickens capable of laying giant eggs, and pigs the size of hippos. a prediction of Mother Teresa @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ A name changes toys into tools. - Skinny Puppy _______________________________________________________________________________ SOMETIMESINMYBEDATNIGHTILIEAWAKEANDTHINKOFTHETIMEWESPENTINFIJIWITHTHEROBOTPHIL. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ URANUS CONJUNCT NEPTUNE Ponder on This... A Message to the Bay Area House Family A Rave New World On Tuesday, February 2 at 12:12 a. m. PST, the planets Uranus and Neptune will form what is known in astrology and astronomy as a conjunction. A conjunction is when two or more heavenly bodies occupy the same visual area of the sky. When this happens the energies of both planets are intensified and work in unison. The Outer Planets, astrologically speaking, have a deeper, longer lasting effects. Aspects (significant angles formed between two heavenly bodies) involving the outer planets, bring about profound change and events. The last conjunction of outer planets involved Uranus and Pluto and occurred on June 30, 1966. It was the catalyst for the "Summer of Love" in 1967 and Woodstock in 1968. Many of you know that what we are doing here is special. It is not just about having a good time but something much deeper, we are actually learning how to communicate and be with each other in a very special way. _____________________________________________________________________________ THEGENTLEHUMOFTECHNOLOGYLULLSMETOSLEEPONLYTOBEINTERRUPTEDBYTHEFARTINGOFTHEDOG ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? Woody Allen, "Without Feathers" _________________________________________________________________________ SLOTSINTOTABSCONNECTEDTOELECTRODESCONTAININGINFORMATIONTRANSFERREDBYELVIS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ From Martin Konigsberg, replying to a reporter's question about the scandal swirling around Mia Farrow and Konigsberg's son, Woody Allen: "I'm going to be 92 on Christmas Day. Nothing bothers me anymore" **<>--[]--<>**<>--[]--<>**<>--[]--<>**<>--[]--<>**<>--[]--<>**<>--[]--<>**<>--[] In 1993: The discovery of a race of giants in the Brazilian rain forest stuns researchers who say the 17-foot creatures are only part human and have super powers - including the ability to read minds and move objects just by looking at them. Serena Sabak Weekly World News Psychic +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= In October, biologists at China's Northwest University in Xian reported finding a 77-pound slimeball floating on a river in Shaanxi province. According to the scientists, the slimeball, a pure white fungus, gained 22 pounds in the first three days the scientists observed it, and has the ability to move across the ground on its own. Chuck Shepherd NOTW +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= Another Modern Diety (Coca-Cola) is experiencing change: Here is the fact of the week, maybe even the fact of the month. According to probably reliable sources, the Coca-Cola people are experiencing severe marketing anxiety in China. The words "Coca-Cola" translate into Chinese as either (depending on the inflection) "wax-fattened mare" or "bite the wax tadpole". Bite the wax tadpole. There is a sort of rough justice, is there not? The trouble with this fact, as lovely as it is, is that it's hard to get a whole column out of it. I'd like to teach the world to bite a wax tadpole. Coke -- it's the real wax-fattened mare. Not bad, but broad satiric vistas do not open up. -- John Carrol, San Francisco Chronicle ________________________________________________________________________________ VANILLAWAFERS&MINTCHOCALATECHIPCOOKIESSPIKEDWITHSILICONSCHIPSANDGRASSHOPPERPARTS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ You think YOU have marketing difficulties? Consider the case of Frank Purdue, as reported in the New Haven Register yesterday. In an attempt to reach the Hispanic market, the now-famous slogan "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken" was mistakenly translated for publication as "It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate". ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "Al Gore resembled a Vulcan desperately in need of a blow job." Bobcat Goldthwait _______________________________________________________________________________ INTHEMIDDLEOFTHESILENTROOMHESPOKEPARANTEHTICALLYANDTHREFOREIHEARDNOTAWORDHESAID ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Too much information Running through my brain. Too much information Driving me insane The Police ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ "The term wyrd is the original form of today's weird, which means strange or unexplainable. Wyrd had essentially the same meaning more than a thousand years ago in shamanic Europe, but in sacred rather than mundane realms. Wyrd was the unexplainable force - the great mystery underlying all of existence - that was the cornerstone of Anglo-Saxon shamanic practices." Brian Bates (author of The Way of the Wyrd) quoted in Shaman's Drum Spring 1992 __________________________________________________________________________ ITRULYBELIEVEINANARCHYANDONLYWISHONEDAYTOBEABLETOAFFORDIT-BHATHRUMEDUK,PHD ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ In 1993: American auto makers introduce two exciting new products to win back customers lost to the Japanese: A solar-powered throwaway car priced at $500 - and a flying car priced at $18,000. Serena Sabak Weekly World News Psychic __________________________________________________________________________ TESTINGTESTINGTESTOSTERONETESTICLESTESTSIGHTTESTYDRIVINGTESTTESTOFTIMETEST ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ There are those we have talked to who claim that language is a virus and that mis-interpretations will multiply exponentially until all languages merge into one and we will be free. Here is support for that theory. Phrases reinterpreted back into English as seen around Europe: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ In Paris, a boutique advertised "dresses for street walking." A tailor on the Greek island of Rhodes couldn't guarantee he could finish summer suits ordered by tourists. "Becuase is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation," he said. A Rome doctor specialized in "women and other diseases". A Swedish furrier offered coats "made for ladies from their own skin." Sign in Austrian ski resort urging guests "not to preambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension." Sign in Paris hotel: "Please leave your values at the desk." An Acupulco hotel reassured guests about the drinking water: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here." >From a Tokyo hotel: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid." Sign in German campsite warned: "It is strictly forbidden on our camp site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, living together in one tent, unless they are married with each other for that purpose." Sign in Zurich hotel: "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose." A Prague tourist agency urged tourists: "Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages." A Hong Kong dentist advertised tooth extractions "using the latest Methodists." A sign in the zoo in Budapest showed that times are tough in Eastern Europe: "Please do not feed the animals. If you do have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty." An airline in Copenhagen vowed that when you go to the airport, they would "take your bags and send them in all directions." Baltimore Sun ><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< Languages that don't exist but probably should Spawnquatic Urtican Canadian Vatican Elfin Yeti ><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< A 38 year-old man, unidentified in news reports, was hopitalized in Princeton, W. Va., in October with gunshot wounds. He had been drinking beer and reported accidentally shooting himself three times -- as he attempted to clean each of his three guns. He said the first shot didn't hurt, the second "stung a little," and the third "really hurt," prompting him to call an ambulance. Chuck Shepherd NOTW ________________________________________________________________________ JOHNWAYNEWASAFAGIWENTUPTOHISPLACEINBRENTWOODANDHEANSWEREDTHEDOORINADRESS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Nostradamus also foresees: A talented performer who shocks her audiences doing an about-face and shunning fame for a life of serving the starving in Somalia. Most researchers agree the celebrity is none other than the reigning Queen of Sleaze Madonna, who's made millions through flaunting her body and singing about sexual acts. The SUN January 12, 1993 oO-Oo_oO-Oo_oO-Oo_oO-Oo_oO-Oo_oO-Oo_oO-Oo_oO-Oo_oO-Oo_oO-Oo_oO-Oo_oO-Oo_oO -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Left out of Fox TV's Rock The Vote was Madonna's mention of Michael Jackson's video in which Michael Jordan attempted to show Jackson how to play basketball. "Michael," she reminded him, "white men can't jump." The Realist Number 122 ~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/~\/ *************************************************************************** "In The End Days, false prophets will appear, and people will make neat movies about them." Nostradamus' brother Euclid "Jim Jones was a religious leader who called his parishioners 'family'...There was even a Jim Jones nude epic, called Love Camp, in which the megalomaniac leader was a woman who forces her flock to drink poison and make love in front of her while some black queen serenades them with a rock song fittingly called 'The End' ." Dennis Dermody Paper Magazine October 1992 ____________________________________________________________________________ WILLYOUCOMEOVERTOMYHOUSEANDFIXMYTOASTERWITHAPAIROFSCISSORSWHILEITISPLUGGEDIN ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Those like Stephan Hoeller who seek the hand of the Goddess in history will invariably, I suspect, be disapointed. That's just not how She does things. Where was She when they were burning us? Why didn't She stop them? She didn't intervene then because She was in the fire too, burning with us. They tried to kill Her by killing us, but you can't kill the Goddess and you can't kill her people. No, seek Her instead in the Cycle: She moves, after all, from within. Steven W. Posch Forum Gnosis Magazine No. 26 ___________________________________________________________________________ DIVINEDIVIDEDIVIDENDROUNDTHEBENDLENDAHANDHOLDMYHANDHOLDMYGOLDREGINOLDDIVINE ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ These are actual news stories from 1992, compiled by Bill Mandel of the San Francisco Examiner. ------------------------------ Sonoma County viewers who'd paid $30 to see a Madison Square Garden tribute to Bob Dylan on cable TV had their Dylanfest interrupted by 90 minutes of soft-core porn. Only one complained. A San Francisco man dressed as Mickey Mouse on Halloween was beaten on the street by a man who threatened to kill the would-be rodent "if I catch you dressed up like Mickey again." One of the men arrested for looting in the L.A. riots is a $3 million Lotto winner who receives $120,000 a year from the state. A lawyer defended himself against charges of microwaving his ex-girlfriend's kitten by saying he'd put the cat in the oven to keep it out of his way and then accidentally turned the oven on. A Los Angeles man on trial for harrassing ice skater Katarina Witt demanded a jury of nymphomaniacs, atheists and agnostics to compose "a jury of his peers." A Florida wedding reception was interrupted when the bride threw macaroni salad at the groom and he responded with gunfire. At the hospital, the wounded bride insisted on checking in under her new married name. Mississippi State football coach Jackie Sherrill defended the castration of a bull in front of his football team (which was about to play the Texas Longhorns) as "motivational and educational." A Chicago high school teacher punished truants by making them listen to Frank Sinatra records. The CIA classified as "secret" the report of its Openness Task Force. The 1982 National Father's Day Association's Father of the Year went to jail for failing to pay child support. Joseph Hazelwood, captain of the ill-fated oil tanker Exxon Valdez, was hired by New York Maritime College to teach students how to stand watch on a tanker's bridge. A young couple trading oral sex on a British train continued their frolic when a family entered the compartment and sat down. Then the amorous pair performed "full sexual intercourse" in front of passengers who boarded later. It wasn't until the lovers lit up post-coital cigarettes that witnesses admonished them and rang for the conductor. YVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYVYV ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New Sects Developing in The End Days !! >From the Wall Street Journal, Dec. 10, 1985 "Antarctic Life Proves Hard Even for Those Who Love Their Work" ... How boring is life in the Antarctic? People in one group wintering at the South Pole in the 1960s watched the film "Cat Ballou" 87 times. People in another, after tiring of the westerns, Disney features and pornographic films on hand, spliced the movies together into their own production and adopted a vocabulary based on their creation that was so strange that relief crews arriving in the spring could barely understand them. WMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWM ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Title: Felton & Fowler's Best, Worst & Most Unusual Author: Felton, Bruce and Mark Fowler Publisher: Gramercy Publishing Co. Worst Editing of a Film: A movie theater manager in South Korea decided that the running time of The Sound of Music was too long, so he shortened it by cutting out all the songs. Most Unusual Cannon: The Canadian National Research Council has come up with a pneumatic cannon capable of firing dead chickens at speeds of up to 620 miles per hour. It will accommodate either the standard caliber four-pound chicken for testing aircraft windshields, or the larger eight-pound bird for testing tail assemblies. Most Unusual Hotel: Hotel La Parra is located off the coast of Spain and boasts a truly unique view, since the entire hotel is 49 feet underwater. Getting there is half the fun, as there are no boats serving the hotel. Guests must swim there, with their gear sealed in waterproof bags. La Parra can accommodate up to twelve guests at a time and is said to be quite comfortable. ______________________________________________________________________ 1234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ We are unlikely to get much respite from the onslaught of personal, national, and world upheaval that have characterized the early 1990s. Take a deep breath, relax and get centered. In all likelihood, even bigger changes lie ahead. The revolution has really just begun. Almost any careful reading of the news compels a singular conclusion - the years leading to the Millennium are likely to be even more turbulent and momentous than the years behind. As the outer world continues to shift wildly, the extraordinary personal transformations that people are experiencing will also intensify, for both the good and the bad. Steven McFadden "1993: A Pivotal Year" Earth Star (Dec92/Jan93) ________________________________________________________________________ LJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A horrifying earthly visitation by Satan himself, who will perform several acts of untold horror simply to prove he's still a force to be reckoned with in the overall scheme of things. a prediction of Pope John Paul II ^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/ "What luck for rulers that men do not think." Adolf Hitler ^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/^\/ Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. -- Abraham Lincoln ___________________________________________________________________________ DIVINEDIVIDEDIVIDENDROUNDTHEBENDLENDAHANDHOLDMYHANDHOLDMYGOLDREGINOLDDIVINE ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Satan has certainly been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years." Anton Szandor LaVey The Satanic Bible v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Bizarre End-Of-The-Century Rituals Emerging ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ OWATONNA, Minn (AP) {found in a neswpaper from Buffalo, NY} Roy Colette and his brother-in-law have been exchanging the same pair of pants as a Christmas present for 11 years - and each time the package gets harder to open. This year the pants came wrapped in a car mashed into a 3-foot cube. The trousers are in the glove compartment of a 1974 Gremlin. Now Collette's plotting his revenge--if he can get them out. It all started when Collette received a pair of moleskin trousers from his brother-in-law, Larry Kunkel of Bensenville, Ill. Kunkel's mother had given her son the britches when he was a college student. He wore them a few times, but they froze stiff in cold weather and he didn't like them. So he gave them to Collette. Collette, who called the moleskins "miserable", wore them three times, then wrapped them up and gave them back to Kunkel for Christmas the next year. The friendly exchange continued routinely until Collette twisted the pants tightly, stuffed them into a 3-foot-long, 1-inch wide tube and gave them back to Kunkel. The next Christmas, Kunkel compressed the pants into a 7-inch square, wrapped them with wire and gave the "bale" to Collette. Not to be outdone, the next year Collette put the pants into a 2-foot-square crate filled with stones, nailed it shut, banded it with steel and gave the trusty trousers back to Kunkel. The brothers agreed to end the caper if the trousers were damaged. But they were as careful as they were clever. Kunkel had the pants mounted inside an insulated window that had a 20-year guarantee and shipped them off to Collette. Collette broke the glass, recovered the trousers, stuffed them into a 5-inch coffee can and soldered it shut. The can was put in a 5-gallon container filled with concrete and reinforcing rods and given to Kunkel the following Christmas. Two years ago, Kunkel installed the pants in a 225-pound homemade steel ashtray made from 8-inch steel casings and etched Collette's name on the side. Collette had trouble retrieving the treasured trousers, but succeeded without burning them with a cutting torch. Last Christmas, Collette found a 600-pound safe and hauled it to Viracon Inc. in Owatonna, where the shipping department decorated it with red and green stripes, put the pants inside and welded the safe shut. The safe was then shipped to Kunkel, who is the plant manager for Viracon's outlet in Bensenville. Last week, the pants were trucked to Owatonna, 55 miles south of Minneapolis, in a drab green, 3-foot cube that once was a car with 95,000 miles on it. A note attached to the 2,000-pound scrunched car advised Collette that the pants were inside the glove compartment. "This will take some planning," Collette said. "I will definitely get them out. I'm confident." But he's waiting until January to think about how to recover the bothersome britches. "Wait until next year," he warned. "I'm on the offensive again." }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Another Dude Who Gives Out Presents ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ From: bostic@vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic) To: /dev/null@vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Mailing List) Subject: Santa Manual Subject: First Chirch of Santaism Organization: Founder, First Chirch of Santaism [From the "Santa Manual" distributed by Western Temporary Services, providers of 3000 Santas to department stores and malls nationwide.] Santa Do's: - Santa should watch parents for signals. Santa should never promise anything. - Santa should always speak of himself as "Santa" or "Santa Claus"; Santa should never say "I". - Santa should use the "Santa lift" to pick up children (Santa extends leg; the child stands between Santa's knees and sits on the extended leg; Santa pulls leg back to sitting position). This avoids quick movements and saves Santa's back. - Santa should use the term "folks" when referring to family, because of all the non-traditional families that exist. Santa Don'ts: - Santa should omit the loud, booming "Ho ho ho's", because they often frighten small children. - Santa should avoid short, jerky, nervous movements. - Santa should never show his mood. Santa must forget things that upset him, because children will pick up on his mood. - Santa should never be out of character when he is in costume. - Santa should avoid references to the religious aspects of Christmas. Religion is a personal matter; don't run the risk of offending parents or confusing children. Stick to the universal aspects of Christmas. Sometimes children will ask Santa difficult questions. Santa needs to be prepared to answer them in ways that won't put the child's folks in a difficult situation or cause any damage to Santa's image. The following are some of the questions that Santa might be asked, followed by acceptable. Question: Santa, I just saw you at another store. Answer: That was one of my Helpers. You know, Santa needs Helpers. [Real Answer: That's right, I can travel faster than light and move back and forth through Time.] Question: Why didn't you bring me what I asked you for last year? Answer: I was at the North Pole last year, and it must have been one of my Helpers who saw you. I'll try to get the matter straightened out this year. [Real Answer: Because you were bad.] Question: Santa, can you bring me a baby brother? Answer: OK, my fine young lady, you want a baby brother. Well, that's clear out of my department. I bring gifts. You'll have to talk to your folks about a baby brother. [Real Answer: Come back and see me in a few years and I'll give you your own baby.] Question: I want a horse for Christmas. Answer: You like horses, don't you? Is there anything else you would like for Christmas? [Real Answer: Tell you what, put on these spurs and you can ride me like a horse any time you want to.] It is absolutely necessary that Santa be neat and clean in appearance. For this reason, we ask you, as responsible adults, to bathe every day, to use a good deodorant and to use mouthwash. Smoking is not permitted, as children will smell smoke on your breath. Also, the beard is flammable. -- Matthew S. "Opie" Warren warren-matthew@yale.edu _____________________________________________________________________________ MYDOCTORWILLTALKTOYOURLAWYERANDTHEYWILLDOLUNCHANDTHEYWILLFALLINLOVEANDADOPTME ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ And By All Means, Don't Act Like The Racist Santa of 1992: A little kid lands on Santa's lap and they end up looking through a coloring book with Santa saying something along the lines of how the kid should just color in whatever he wants Santa to bring. The kid colors in a monkey. The child was black and Santa asked, "Do you know what a monkey is? Look in the mirror and see." paraphrased by an anonymous reader ============================================================================= Nothing is sexier than the naked mind- nothing more seductive than the inventive imagination. Michael Grosso The Journal of Divine Eroticism Ecstasy Vol.II Number 1 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Ram Dass, author of Compassion in Action, appeared at Saks 5th Avenue in Beverly Hills, extolling the benefits of spiritual health, a positive inner spirit and La Prarie's Age Management Serum. The Realist Number 122 ____________________________________________________________________________ IFYOUTHINGWOODSTOCKWASBIGJUSTWAITTILLYOUSEEMYSISTERSBIRTHDAYPARTYATMCDONALDS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ In the late sixties, for instance, a group of four hundred "hippies" converged on a mountain top near Boulder, Colorado, to await the imminent collision of the asteroid Icarus with the planet Earth. The Chicago Tribune headline shouted, "We're Safe! Icarus Misses Earth, but Hippies Stay Put." Countdown to the Millennium Stanley Young _____________________________________________________________________________ FORDAYSATATIMEHENRYWOULDSTRIPHIMSELFNAKEDTAPEPINSTOHISBODYANDROLLINBUBBLEPACK ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ These are The End Times! (maybe) The Jehovah's Witnesses continue to forecast the exact date of the End [of the world], and have struck out thrice more, in 1874, 1914, and 1975, with no appreciable loss of church membership. Countdown to the Millennium Stanley Young Xx>< An Informed Prediction: ======================= "A woman priest is as impossible as for me to have a baby. In the year Two Million, there will still be a Catholic Church and there will still be an all-male clergy." Auxillary Bishop Austin B. Vaughn of New York ______________________________________________________________________________ ILOVETHEREFOREIAMINLOVEWITHLOVEANDLOVEININLOVEWITHMYLOVEOFLOVEFORITSLOVELINESS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "My child and My children, the pages are turning fast in the Apocalypse. Have you listened to My councel in the past, My children? Are you making an effort to study the Book of life and love, your Bible?" Roses The Messages of Our Lady and Our Lord to Veronica Lueken ______________________________________________________________________________ IHAVEJUSTRECENTLYREALIZEDTHATEVERYTHINGINTHEWORLDISPOISONOUSHAZARDOUSORBORING. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Everything you've learned in school as "obvious" becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no solids in the universe. There's not even a suggestion of a solid. There are no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no straight lines. R. Buckminster Fuller oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0oO0o0Oo0Oo0O ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ He had that rare weird electricity about him -- that extremely wild and heavy presence that you only see in a person who has abandoned all hope of ever behaving "normally." Hunter S. Thompson "Fear and Loathing '72" o0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0O "For the record, we're hackers who believe information should be free. All information. The world is full of phunky electronic gadgets and networks and we want to share our information with the hacker community." -- Restricted Data Transmissions "They are satisfying their own appetite to know something that is not theirs to know." -- Assistant District Attorney, Don Ingraham "The notion that how things work is a big secret is simply wrong." -- Hacking/Cracking conference on The WELL from Phrack #41 December 31, 1992 phrack@stormking.com ______________________________________________________________________________ WHATDOYOUSMELL?ANORANGE.WHATDOYOUSEE?ANORANGE.WHATCOLORISIT?ORANGEORANGEORANGE ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Implicit in the process of modeling is the separation of the subject from the object, of the map from the territory. Problems arise when the model comes to be regarded as more real than the modeled, and this is more likely to happen when, as in our current relationship with the natural world, the feedback loop is dismantled. Ted Schultz Gnosis #26 ______________________________________________________________________________ YOUREMINDMEOFAMAN.WHATMAN?AMANWITHPOWER.WHATPOWER?VOODOO.WHODO?YOUDO.DOWHAT??? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I'm a man of the past and I'm living in the present and I'm walking in the future. Peter Tosh song: "Mystic Man" IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary" =+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+ A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. William James _______________________________________________________________________________ AMANAPLANACANALPANAMA * AMANAPLANACANALPANAMA * AMANAPLANACANALPANAMA ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A Brain-Computer interface is a staple of science fiction writing. In it's earliest incarnations no mechanism was thought necessary, as the technology seemed so far fetched that no explanation was likely. As more became known about the brain however, the possibility has become more real and the science fiction more technically sophisticated. Recently, the cyberpunk movement has adopted the idea of "jacking in", sliding "biosoft" chips into slots implanted in the skull (Gibson, W. 1984). Although such biosofts are still science fiction, there have been several recent steps toward interfacing the brain and computers. Chief among these are techniques for stimulating and recording from areas of the brain with permanently implanted electrodes and using conscious control of EEG to control computers. Some preliminary work is being done on synapsing neurons on silicon transformers and on growing neurons into neural networks on top of computer chips. Andrew Wright On Designing a Brain-Computer Interface: After all, computers were once science fiction, too. JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ "Storm the reality studio and retake the universe." William S. Burroughs +--------------------------------------------------+ |"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch." | | --Lily Tomlin | +--------------------------------------------------+ In 1993: An amazing new "behavior control" implant makes it possible to quit bad habits like smoking, drinking, cursing and procrastinating - without any effort whatsoever. Serena Sabak Weekly World News Psychic &^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^% "In the early 1980s, when I first talked with certain young computer wizards about their dreams of immersing themselves in simulated realities, it didn't occur to me that they would foment a technological and cultural revolution in the 1990s." Howard Rheingold VIRTUAL REALITY _______________________________________________________________________________ AMANOFLAMANCHAFORLUNCHAATTHISHERERESTARAUNTANDALLYOUCANDOISPRAYTOTHEFECALBUDDHA ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are headed. _______________________________________________________________________________ ANDITHOUGHTITWASTOUGHWHENWEWERELIVINGONTHATDESERTISLAND.ORWASITADESSERTISLAND?? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Infinite Intelligence in your subconscious mind knows all and sees all. Call upon It and you will receive an answer. It knows only the answer. Joseph Murphy The Amazing Laws of Cosmic Mind Power 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Article 5424 in sci.virtual-worlds (moderated): From: tolman@asylum.cs.utah.edu ( Kenneth Tolman ) Date: 14 Nov 92 ****** DIRECT NEURAL - ELECTRONIC INTERFACING ********* >> Can someone tell me if there's any work being done at the moment on direct >> hardware - wetware interfacing techniques? By this I mean methods by which >> Virtual Reality environments may be manipulated directly by, say, an EEG >> interpreter converting stimuli received from skull electrodes; or more >> surgically invasive equipment a la Known Space-like 'drouds' or 'jacks'. Here at the University of Utah there is a bioengineering project which involves direct implantation of stimulating electrodes in the visual cortex. I went to a lecture on it, and suprisingly the researchers have little or no awareness of virtual reality, they are interested in providing sight to the blind. _______________________________________________________________________________ THEENDOFHISTORYISUPONUSANDWEWILLRISEABOVEALLTHEHYPEANDBULLSHITANDEGGNOGWILLFLOW ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ We treat time as though it were linear, one thing leading to another. But Einstein showed that past, present, and future need have no fixed status. In theory, at least, it is possible to perceive them in varying order - future before present, for instance. Mysteries of the Unknown Time-Life Books Visions and Prophecies ___________________________________________________________________________ YOUCANTTELLMETHATYOUAREACTUALLYREADINGALLTHESESENTENCES.YOUGOTTABEKIDDING!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ We're just a biological speculation sitting here vibrating and we don't know what we're vibrating about. And the animal instinct in me makes me wanna defend me. It makes me wanna live when it's time to die. Y'all see my point. I don't mean to come on strong but I am concerned. Funkadelic ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I see the eigenvalue in thine eye, I hear the tender tensor in thy sigh. Bernoulli would have been content to die Had he but known such a-squared cos 2(phi)! Stanislaw Lem "Cyberiad" ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( In 1992: In the first half of this year the chemical factory Cindu exploded causing several deaths and a chaos. It was confirmed yesterday that a simple typing error led to this tragic accident. Apparently the computerized chemical processing installation was fed with data in which a comma was placed at a wrong digit, causing the wrong amount of chemicals to be mixed in the installation. This led to an enormous explosion and the closure of the factory. from RISKS digest ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) "...at the core of traditional Chinese philosophy is the notion of a universe in flux, a continuing, eternal creative act. What is, is becoming. What may be, may be. The future is not fact but potential, and anyone who seeks to know the future is obliged also to seek the proper way to shape it.." Mysteries of the Unknown Time-Life Books Visions and Prophecies _____________________________________________________________________________________ DANCETILLYOUDROP-DROPTILLYOUPOP-POPTILLYOUPRANCE-PRANCETILLYOULANCE-LANCETILLYOUDANCE ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ President Bush made these comments during a campaign stop on August 27, 1988 at O'Hare airport. He spoke with Robert Sherman, chief spokesman for American Atheists: RS: "Mr. President, what will you do to win the votes of Americans who are Atheists?" GB: "I guess I'm pretty weak in the atheist community. Faith in God is pretty important to me." RS: "Surely you recognize the equal citizenship and patriotism of Americans who are atheists?" GB: "No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God." UPI reported on May 8, 1989 that various atheist organizations were still angry over the remarks. The exchange appeared in the Boulder Daily Camera on Monday Feb 27, 1989. _____________________________________________________________________________________ IVEBEENWORKINGONTHERAILROADALLTHELIVELONGDAY,WELLNOTTHEWHOLEDAY-SOIWASLATEGIMMEABREAK ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ In 1993: President George Bush makes a shocking farewell speech shortly before Clinton's inauguration in which he will admit to three years of extensive negotiations with space aliens. Serena Sabak Weekly World News Psychic _____________________________________________________________________________________ IVEBEENWORKINGONTHERAILROADALLTHELIVELONGDAY,WELLNOTTHEWHOLEDAY-SOIWASLATEGIMMEABREAK ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ alt.alien.visitors #11512 From: mt@space.mit.edu (Mary Terhune) Date: Wed Dec 02 10:19:36 MST 1992 Organization: MIT Center for Space Research Re: Finding a Guru Someone asked about finding a Guru. I have found such a realized Guru, Her name is Gurumayi also known as Chidvilasananda. She is the successor to Baba Muktananda and the Siddha Yoga Lineage. She resides at her Ashram in South Fallsburg, NY 914-434-2000. I have known her for 6 years and you can know her greatness just by being in her Presence. Best, Mary ______________________________________________________________________________ I'MNOTSUREWHATCAUGHTMYATTENTIONFIRST:THEBUZZING,THESMELLOFSMOKE,ORTHEBLOODYAXE ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >From the random and haphazard ways we function now, the future may see each of us as a musician playing the keys of a magic synthesizer. What may be commanded from our fleshy instrument is not just sound, but all the qualities of human experience. Bruce Eisner Ecstasy: The MDMA Story /?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_/?\_ "We were supposed to use drugs to expand our minds, not to escape reality!" Robby Krieger {[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]} You can't yawn while you sleep. {[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]}{[]} We Gave B. Hathrume Duk the assignment of analyzing the name JESUS and these are the acronyms he came up with: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Jailed, Escaped, Slain, Undead Savior Joplin's Excellent Song Urges Stoners Jack Egged Susan's Upset Stomache Jonah Entertains Sailing Under Stormclouds Jeweled Emperor Stops Unconscionable Satanists Jumping Every Second Undoes Stress Jello Energy Stuns Underwear Sucker Jets Envelope Sunshine Using Swoops Jim Eats Shrooms Using Spoons Javelins Emit Strange Unknown Sounds Japannese Espouse Simple Unending Sushi Jackals Enter Synagogue Upsetting Servants Jerimia Engulfed Sammy's Ugly Sister Jack-o-lanturns Editing Software Under Supervision ~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~ NEW! Lucky Money A Real, Legal U.S. Dollar Bill [with Jesus' picture on it] YES! It's real, it's legal, it's printed in the U.S.A. Mint and you could spend it, but you will never want to, because the very day you receive your Genuine, U.S. Jesus Dollar Bill will be the beginning of the LUCKIEST days of your life! Write To: Rev. Harris Dept. WN4 6329 Mallory Drive Richmond, VA 23226 (each bill costs $5.00) $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ In Dante's Hell, the Devil is in ice, not fire. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< In April, a Franciscan friar, the Rev. Bede Frrara, handed out coupons in Somerville, Mass., offering his parishioners "50 percent off" of the penance for whatever sins they confess. He said he thought his parishioners needed a boost because of economic woes in the area and so offered them the opportunity to atone for a sin by, for example, doing only 15 Hail Marys instead of 30. Chuck Shepherd NOTW ><><><><><><>><><><><><><>><><><><><><>><><><><><><>><><><><><><>><><><><><><> Jiles Hamilton, Georgia alien and spirit channeler, has this to say: "Aliens are actually more fun to work with than spirits because they don't run off at the mouth. With spirits, it's talk, talk, talk. You can't get then to shut up." San Francisco Cronicle December 13, 1992 %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Many famous people have said interesting things upon their deathbeds. W.C. Fields supposedly said, "I'd rather be in Philadelphia," but no one knows if he was kidding or not. HARPOON Magazine ___________________________________________________________________________ WELLHELLODALIWELLHELLODALIITSSONICETOHAVEYOUBACKWHEREYOUBELONGWELLHELLODALI ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Who was it that said (on their deathbed), "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Unplastic Prediction: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ John Lennon's Widdow will marry Cher's old husband and become Yoko Ono-Bono. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another Prediction for the Last Decade of This Millennium: "Society is losing its middle ground," says Crystal Cross, owner of Primeval Body piercing studio in Los Angeles. "You're either gonna be weird, radical, and really left, or weird and conservative and really right." Pick a side, and dress (or pierce) accordingly. Julie Caniglia Utne Reader No. 55 /*************************\ ********************* Yubba Dubba Diety ************************************* \*************************/ Bumper Sticker I saw on January 11, 1993: Ready Or Not Jesus Is Coming ************************************************************************************* >From The Someone-Up-There-Is-Watching File: On December 7, 1906, one Christopher Timms slipped on Mount Elie de Beaumont, a 10,200-foot peak in New Zealand. He skidded, bounced, plummeted 7,500 feet down the ice face into a crevasse. His climbing companion was killed, but Timms lived. With bruises, a concussion and injuries to one hand. Longest fall ever survived by a mountain climber, according to the record books. The Grab Bag Examiner/Chronicle December 1992 _=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\|_=\| Idiot, n.: A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. :;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:; And what of that "twenty year curse" that has claimed the lives (by illness or assassination) of seven presidents elected at twenty-year intervals, from Harrison in 1840 to Kennedy in 1960. How did Ronnie escape this curse? :;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:; In the 90s, TV will D I E !!!! Two Hundred frightened viewers have called consumer-safety offices in Holland to report incidents of exploding TV sets. One senior citizen was rescued from her smoke-filled apartment when her TV burst into flames, and a housewife claims she had not even turned on her set when it exploded, causing almost $22,000 in damage. Officials have not determined the cause of this sudden outbreak, although some seem to think the problem may be caused by remote controls. The Examiner }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} "I look back with some satisfaction on what an idiot I was when I was 25, but when I do that, I'm assuming I'm no longer an idiot." Andy Rooney *************************************************************************** The WebSpirit does not eat peanut butter. ************************************************************************** Celebrate The Reptiles Of Your Mind ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ After police pulled over Kevin Temple, 35, in a routine traffic stop in Bronson, Fla., in October, a police dog sniffing the trunk became agitated. In the trunk and back seat, officers found the following live animals: 48 rattlesnakes, a Gila monster, 45 non-poisonous snakes, 67 scorpions, several tarantulas and small lizards, and a parrot. Temple said they were just pets. Chuck Shepherd NOTW *************************************************************************** The empires of the future are the empires of the mind. Sir Winston Churchill Speech at Harvard, 6 Sept. 1943 }}}]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} In 1982 while employed at a audio/video/record store in New York City I discovered that by staring at a live TV show while in a meditative state that I could cause the TV camera lens at the TV studio to glow. I worked facing a bank of sets all day long and by experimenting with some Zen meditation techniques I discovered that the people on TV were reacting to the fluctuations in my mental state. The effect looks like a bright spot of light in the camera lens directed at the person. Since 1983 I've been using the effect to wreak havoc in the incipient mind of the media/state. I have learned to control the effect so that I can induce more eye blinking, more stammering, etc. by changing the brightness and location of the spot of light which I cause to appear in the broadcasting TV camera. In 1991 I decided to create an experiment which would be verifiable to the public at large, so that I might prove the existence of the phenomenon to the skeptical community. So, I came up with the Thursday test. Every Thursday I illuminate the cameras of the CBS Evening News. Watchers of the show can do various things to prove the veracity of my claims. They can count the number of times Dan Rather blinks on Thursday as compared with Friday or Wednesday. They can measure the reflected luminosity of the spot of light on Dan's eyeballs or they can count the number of mis-speaks. I've been zapping all presidential TV appearances since late 1983. If you watch the first 1984 Reagan debate you will notice my efforts. I've zapped all of the presidential and vice-presidential debates this year. Millions of people know about this phenomenon and harbor knowledge of it through a "cult of secrecy." There is no real conspiracy in the public, it is just that people do not tell others of this story unless provoked. There have been quite a few pop songs written in homage; these usually use innuendo to refer to the phenomenon. My intent on Internet is to inform the public of this process. My intent is infinite and immaculate in its beautifully chaotic intentions. Wreaking havoc with light. Photonic agents of bliss infiltrating the minds of commerce and conspiracy. Jeff Harrington IdEAL ORDER idealord@dorsai.com *********************************************************************** Wedding guests in Morocco throw raisins. <>..<>""<>..<>""<>..<>""<>..<>""<>..<>""<>..<>""<>..<>""<>..<>""<>..<>""<> Comments on a Tim Leary prediction presentation: "You have to go out of your mind to use your mind," he exclaims at one point, and a number of us cheer hopefully, wondering just how much "experimenting" he allows himself these days. He sees virtual reality as a key breakthrough in consciousness expansion and human communication, and he predicts than within two or three years, no one will simply give lectures, which appeal only to the so-called "left brain;" they will give full-blown multi-media presentations that will appeal to both the logical and the creative functions of the brain. *Everyone* will do this, he says; it will be *the* way to give seminars. Leary's penchant for prediction has always fascinated me. I'm reminded of one of his earlier predictions, that reliable life extension techniques would be available during his lifetime. These predictions haven't got much time to be fulfilled. From: Scotto To: LERI-L@iscsvax.uni.edu |\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/ |/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\ The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. Andrew S. Tanenbaum }}}}}}}}}}}}}---------++++++===={{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ [In the 60's] there was madness in any direction, at any hour ... You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was `right', that we were winning ... And that, I think, was the handle -- the sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply `prevail'. There was no point in fighting -- on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave .... So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost __see__ the high-water mark -- the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back. Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face -- for ever. George Orwell Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) It is only because miners sweat their guts out that superior persons can remain superior. again George Orwell **^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^**^** Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear. If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming. Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny. If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you. I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad. One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late. If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun." As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!! To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. thanks David Leslie dleslie@usc.edu *8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8 96.37% of all statistics are made up. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ DLEIBOLD@VM1.YorkU.CA (David Leibold) wrote: > In the current issue of that mad magasine [sic] of Christendom, {The > Door}, one of their "Truth is Stranger than Fiction" items shows an ad > which claims "The Virgin Mary Speaks to America TODAY / Toll Free > Message 800-882-MARY". (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away. J.D.Salinger (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) John Lennon's assasin, Mark David Chapman, told investigators he shot Lennon in 1980 to play out th role of Holden Caulfield the troubled adolescent hero of J.D. Salinger's "Catcher in the Rye." Robert John Bardo, the stalker who killed actress Rebecca Schaeffer in 1989, told a psychiatrist he carried a copy of the book to emulate Lennon's killer when he shot her. I personally carry a picture of Robert Bardo, but I am not sure who I am going to kill yet. B. Hathrume Duk I carry a picture of B. Hathrume Duk singing with John & Yoko (in the give peace a chance film) and I once wanted to kill my dentist. Thaloneous Platypus oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo What garlic is to food, insanity is to art. oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo "rock and roll is what grandparents listen to...." fraser clark llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll "The Beatles ruined everything" Tim Leary llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll From: bostic@vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic) To: /dev/null@vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Mailing List) Subject: A kinder, gentler Cosa Nostra >From a list of quotes, allegedly from real-live talk shows, submitted to a *New York* magazine competition, as reprinted in the Dec. 11 San Francisco Chronicle: I think you'll find that many of us in the organized crime community are increasingly sensitive to environmental and social issues, and more willing to reach out to those who have traditionally been excluded from participation. Of course, no context was given, nor was any indication given whether the competition was *really* for *actual* quotes, although some of the other quotes have the ring of reality: For those of us out here in the trenches, on the front lines, so to speak, how much makeup to wear to a business meeting can be crucial. Other quotes, many of which also have the ring of truth: And then I realized I had become addicted to my co-dependency group. -- There must have been some real reason you shot all those people. Tell me, was it anger? -- I've never denied the murders. Now I just want to put all that behind me. |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| "In order to know the material of which an idea is made, one needs only to let fall upon it a drop of strong acid." Eugene Zamiatin |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Ruth I McKay: misc.forsale strange sale 30 May 92 19:39 pak3@ellis.uchicago.edu (Philip Klatte) writes: I am looking to sell my soul. It has been of great use to me and I don't want to part with it but I am graduating from college and have to cut back on possesions. I have had some attractive offers, so I will accept only serious offers. Features include: Strong morals/ethics (sorry, these can't be turned off) Inner strength (hardly used) All original packaging and manuals (not real impressive... :-( ) I am not fooling around. Please reply via E-mail. Philip pak3@midway.uchicago.edu PS Exchanges are not out of the question. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AP 12/28 13:27 EST V0071 Copyright 1992. The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. MANILA, Philippines (AP) -- Religious cultists convinced that flat tires were the key to salvation deflated tires on scores of buses and cars Monday, paralyzing traffic throughout the city. Police arrested 32 people. Terrified motorists abandoned their vehicles and fled for cover as armed police chased the cultists, who swarmed through the stalled traffic deflating more tires. Other cultists flagged down buses and then let the air out before drivers could stop them. The mass deflating, which appeared to have been well planned, began during the evening rush hour and created massive traffic jams. Hours later, traffic was still at a standstill on major thoroughfares. It was unclear what purpose the cultists thought was served by the bizarre strategy. When pressed for an explanation, they said only that cult leader Alelio Bernaldez Pen told them it was God's will. "This is God's order to let out air," said Honora Dimagila, 44, who was arrested Monday. "Air is from God. This is the solution to the crisis in our country." ============================================================================== That Damn Hundredth Monkey Story Again: "There were these Japanese scientists in the '50s who left potatoes every day for these wild monkeys on Koshima Island and then watched what they did. One of these monkeys learned to wash the potatoes and began teaching this to the others. Then, when a certain number had learned, maybe a hundred - scientists call this a 'critical mass' - an amazing thing happened. Suddenly, all the monkeys knew how to wash potatoes, even monkeys on other islands hundreds of miles away! Scientists consider this to be conclusive proof of a telepathic 'group mind'." Ted Schultz The Fringes of Reason "When a myth is shared by large numbers of people, it becomes a reality." Lawrence Blair Ron Amundson on the whole Hundredth Monkey phenomenon: I would express Blair's thought somewhat differently: "Convince enough people of a lie, and it becomes truth." I suggest that someone who accepts this view of truth is not to be trusted as a source of knowledge. He may, of course, be a marvelous source of fantasy, rumor, and pseudoscientific best-sellers. ________________________________________________________________________________ abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzwhydotheynotputthesedamnkeyboardsinalphabeticalorder ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ On The US Role In Current Events: Why do we have to be the Barney Miller of the world? Eric Mielke ================================================================================ Hint from an installation manual we received with a new phone. 1. Never install telephone wiring during a lightning storm. ______________________________________________________________________________ "Suppose you buy a robot. When you get it home, you discover that it does nothing useful. It cannot even maintain its balance. It makes irritating, high pitched noises, moves its limbs about haphazardly, and leaks. And you discover that, for some reason, it is illegal to turn it off. So you are stuck with this useless machine. . .I know someone who is very much like that robot: my daughter, Robin." James W. Kalat Intro to Psychology Second Edition ______________________________________________________________________________ This was in Ann Landers in today's paper. I thought it was classic: Dear Ann-- On April 30 of this year, the LA riots were in full swing. I was with a couple of friends and we got carried away with all the excitement. One guy suggested that we join the rest of the crowd and loot a Korean dry cleaners. The scene was incredible. There were about 20 people grabbing as much stuff as they could before the store was set on fire. That's when I saw this great leather coat hanging not two yards from me. I went to grab it and at the very same moment, ``Wanda'' reached for it, too. She was beautiful, and she really wanted that coat, so I made her a deal. She could have it if she would let me take her to dinner. We hit it off right away and I knew that night we were perfect for each other. We plan to be married next April. The problem is this: Many out-of-town family members will want to know how we met. Should we tell them the truth? Should we lie? We aren't convicted criminals. We both work and have no police records. Reply to "Pair steal more than each other's hearts": What a charming way to meet people! Here I've been suggesting church and temple affairs, volunteer groups and night school classes. You say you have no criminal record? Too bad. You SHOULD, because what you did was clearly criminal. Do you have any idea how hard those Koreans worked to open their shops? Overnight, everything they had was gone, thanks to animals like you. As for your question, sorry, pal, I'm fresh out of cover stories. Ann L. ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` IN 1992: Down in DC, prize chinese panda Ling-Ling died at the age of 23. Although an autopsy hasn't been performed yet, many scientists have pointed out that her death closely followed intestinal pains that struck the panda after the announcement of President Bush's pardoning of the Iran Contra villains. B. Hathrume Duk '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' Date: Thu, 10 Dec 1992 18:15:13 -0800 From: Randy Tinkerman To: sfraves@soda.berkeley.edu (San Francisco Rave List) Regarding the suggestion to have groups of senders continuously pouring out the good vibe during raves (and any other time for since we all live.)... At Leary's Castalia experiments/retreats/rituals held at Zihuantanejo/ Millbrook/Hyperspace, at least one of the neo-pagans/avatars/zombies was in ritual meditative retreat, in the "zoned-off" ritual center, meditating for the welfare/enlightenment/sanity of the entire group. At least one AT ALL TIMES. (Obviously, it must've worked. Heh) @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "On yet another related note, the australian group Tlot Tlot ask people to bring plastic toys to their concerts..." Francois Dion CISM@ERE.UMontreal.CA [=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=] There are COMPUTER PEOPLE called PLASTICS They come from XNEON, which is considered an asteroid of MARS AGR1PPA 2.01 - NEW & IMPROVED (Fixes Bugs from Version 2.00) (A Book of The Mentally Disturbed -- Even FUNNIER than the original!) Text by US@phantom.com Etching by THOSE_PEOPLE@phantom.com (C)1992 THE POWER COMPUTER (In My Mind Since 1979) [=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=] customer, "waiter, there's a fly in my soup!" waiter, "thats ok, no extra charge for the fly." customer, "WOW! thanks" announcer, "Government mind control techneques [sic] as applied by the food service industry. A sad but all to true reality of life." U56673@UICVM.UIC.EDU MNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMNMN "This true story was sent to me earlier by Alekz Vermont, antoher Johns Hopkins person only here temporarily." an annonymous unplastic editor I was making pesto in a blender -- one of the models where the jar screws into a metal base which has the blades and bearings built into it, and this base then sits on top of the drive unit. Well, the blender was screaming away on high speed when I suddenly noticed that the jar was unscrewing itself from the base. I dashed across the kitchen and reached for it, just as the whole thing let go. The jar toppled off before I could grab it, pesto exploded everywhere, and the base flew straight up off the drive unit, blades still spinning, right smack into the palm of my outstretched hand. So there I was standing in the kitchen with my hand bleeding copiously and a heavy horizontal band of pesto all around the walls of the kitchen and across the front of my shirt. I was all alone in my house way out in the mountain boonies, but I knew I needed stitches (at least 25 years later, I still have the scar). I wrapped my hand up in a towel and I drove 15 miles of dark mountain roads to the emergency room. When I walked into the ER, the almost-a-doctor on duty sized me up, and as he unwrapped the bloody towel from my hand he said "My gawd, you smell REALLY DELICIOUS!" >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Frisbeetarianism, n.: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'` 1992 In REVIEW by B. Hathrume Duk Pierre Cuillford, creator of the Smurfs died of a heart attack at the age of 64. Queen Elizabeth II dubbed 1992 as an "annus horribilis." Time magazine in turn dubbed 1992 as "annus terrificus." In 1992, scientists announced that the overpopulation is on the rise in a way much worse than they had earlier surmised. The population of the planet is expected to double to 10 billion by 2050. Two baby buffalo are on the loose in the suburbs south of Baltimore. The two buffaloes are about four months old and each weigh about 400 lbs. Top speeds up to 35 mph. Together: Wayne and Garth Not: Chuck and Di Masters and Johnson (husband and wife team who authored the famous sex manual) Woody and Mia Jim and Tammy Fae Bakker A man called the police to tell them he was robbed during a drug deal. A man determined to make "America's Funniest Home Videos" dressed up as a cave man and tried to sit on Santa's lap at a mall only to be arrested for tresspassing and indecent exposure. And just to put a capper on to 1992, Todd Bridges from "Different Strokes" was arrested for posession of speed and a 9mm pistol. (--) (--) (--) (--) (--) (--) (--) (--) (--) (--) (--) Of all the things in this universe, said Albert Einstein, the most difficult to understand is the income tax. ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| "We will...have to recognize that the transformation of consciousness and personality, whether by yoga or LSD, is basically a religious problem... By now we should have learned that prohibition simply passes control [of such substances] to criminals and incompetent manufacturers, and their use is forced into clandestine circumstances where the psychiatrist and the minister cannot even be asked to advise." Alan Watts In The New Republic """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" Copyright 1992 by UPI. Reposted with permission from the ClariNet Electronic Newspaper newsgroup clari.news.top, et al. For more info on ClariNet, write to info@clarinet.com or phone 1-800-USE-NETS. NEW YORK (UPI) -- The American Civil Liberties Union Wednesday named a number of government officials and private individuals, including Oliver North and Washington State Gov. Booth Gardner, as ``1992 Arts Censors of the Year.'' The watchdog organization cited those chosen as having ``shown exceptional disregard for the First Amendment values of freedom of speech.'' ``All of the people and groups that we've named today, and many others like them, are trying to impose their ideological, moral and religious standards on a very diverse population,'' said Marjorie Heins, director of the ACLU's Arts Censorship Project. She noted that several of those named as arts censors ``are public officials who have used the weight and authority of their offices to wage campaigns against musicians, painters, sculptors and writers.'' The others, she said, ``are private individuals and pressure groups who have advocated censorship in an effort to impose their morality and cultural tastes on the rest of society.'' Those listed were: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ -- Anne-Imelda Radice, acting chairwoman of the National Endowment for the Arts, ``who stated in testimony before Congress that she would veto any grants for sexually explicit art or other projects that deal with 'difficult subject matter.''' -- The Duval County, Fla., public school district, ``which has censored more than 60 books over the years, and which, this past year, purged the county's school libraries of titles by Stephen King and African-American poet Nikki Giovani, not to mention the classic fairy tale 'Snow White' banned because of 'graphic violence.''' -- Omaha, Neb., City Councilman Steve Exon, and members of Omaha for Decency, a private organization, ``who together organized a private sting operation resulting in prosecutions against four local record stores for selling 2 Live Crew's 'Sports Weekend' album to teenagers.'' -- The Maryland State Legislature's Frederick County delegation, which reversed its plans to seek $500,000 in state funding for a local arts center ``after the museum displayed a satiric, anti-Persian Gulf War painting.'' -- The Washington State Legislature and Gov. Booth Gardner, who passed a law imposing a mandatory labeling sytem, with criminal penalties, for musical recordings deemed ``erotic'' by a state court. -- Former Marine colonel Oliver North and Florida attorney Jack Thompson, ``who led a campaign of harassment against musicians and record companies over Ice-T's song 'Cop Killer,' and other music with messages they dislike.'' -- Legal scholar Catharine MacKinnon and writer Andrea Dworkin, ``for drafting and advocating legislation that would allow lawsuits to ban sexually oriented entertainment, and to allow victims of sexual crimes to collect damages from the producers and distributors of such entertainment.'' -- The Rev. Donald Wildmon, head of the American Family Association, ``for a lifetime of disservice to the fundamental values of the Bill of Rights in his pursuit of one overarching goal: the restructuring of American law to reflect his own moral code.'' Collect by: Carl Kadie -- kadie@cs.uiuc.edu -- University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign [=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=] All true wisdom is found on T-shirts. [=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=] "You must *become* the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi [=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=] [=] [=] [=] Well, That's All Folks! Send Us [=] [=] Your Suggestions [=] [=] Stay Tuned! For The Theme of [=] [=] The Next Issue [=] [=] [=] [=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=]-[=] [=] [=] [=] ORDER YOUR UNPLASTIC T-SHIRT __ [=] [=] () [=] [=] T O D A Y <> [=] [=] To Order QUALITY shirt: /\ [=] [=] Send Check or Money Order for $11 /..\ [=] [=] (includes postage & handling in U.S.A) / II \ [=] [=] TO: _____/ OO \_____ [=] [=] The Unplastic News /++++++++++++++++++\ [=] [=] c/o Todd Tibbetts |__________________| [=] [=] 306 Meyers Drive | | [=] [=] Rocky Hill, CT 06067 _| |_ [=] [=] Orders outside the u.S.a. will be subject to [=] [=] a higer shipping fee depending on where we gotta [=] [=] send it. In e-mail, tell us where you're from and [=] [=] we will tell you how much extra we need. Thanks ! [=] [=] [=] [=] Allow 6 Weeks For Delivery in U.S.A. [=] [=] [=] [=] The shirt is Black and White with a groovie Myan god [=] [=] juggling the continents ! [=] [=] [=] [=] Make out checks to Todd C. Tibbetts [=] [=] [=] [=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=][=] Extra Special Thanks To: Jesse Montrose <76646.3302@compuserve.com> Keith Bostic Tina LaVour kenney@hsi.com schaller@hsi.com Eric Mielke warren-matthew@yale.edu phrack@stormking.com Amy Beth Sawyer Andrew.S.Wright@williams.edu tolman@asylum.cs.utah.edu Nexus/Lexus Info-Banks mt@space.mit.edu idealord@dorsai.com Stacey Dorman MOORE7004@iscsvax.uni.edu LERI-L@iscsvax.uni.edu dleslie@usc.edu DLEIBOLD@VM1.YorkU.CA pak3@ellis.uchicago.edu rmt@well.sf.ca.us Christine Lugoffer sfraves@soda.berkeley.edu ne-raves@gnu.ai.mit.edu Kara Mullane Chaplin Snap-Cracker Paris-in-Springtime Penis-pump Bonaventure McCord Alexandra Rabbit-cage aux Merde de la Vingt et Une CISM@ERE.UMontreal.CA U56673@UICVM.UIC.EDU info@clarinet.com kadie@cs.uiuc.edu phantom.com (MindVox People) Megan Stanley ____________________________________________________________________________________ !@#~`$%^&*()_+}{-=][|\"':;<,>.?/!@#~`$%^&*()_+}{-=][|\"':;<,>.?/!@#~`$%^&*()_+}{-=][ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ II II II "Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, II II what *can* you believe?!" II II II II Bullwinkle J. Moose [Jay Ward] II II II ____________________________________________________________________________________ !@#~`$%^&*()_+}{-=][|\"':;<,>.?/!@#~`$%^&*()_+}{-=][|\"':;<,>.?/!@#~`$%^&*()_+}{-=][ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." Ralph Waldo Emerson