OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO oOOOO OOOO. OOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" .OOOOOO OOOOOo OOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO oOOOOOOO OOOOOOO. OOOO oOOOO OOOO .OOOO OOOO OOOOOOOOo OOOO OOOO" OOOO oOOOO OOOO OOOO "OOOO. OOOO OOOOo .OOOO' OOOO .OOOO" OOOO OOOO OOOOoOOOO "OOOO. oOOOO OOOO oOOOOOOO..OOOO OOOO "OOOOOOO OOOOoOOOO" OOOO .OOOO"""OOOOOOOO OOOO OOOOOO "OOOOOOO' OOOO oOOOO ""OOOO OOOO "OOOO OOOOOO |---------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | There Ain't No Justice | | | | #82 | | | |---------------------------------------------------------------------------| - Free & Dominate - by Dirk Gently /////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ "FREE" \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\//////////////////////////////////// I lay there, as I have for some time now, nothing has changed in the time I've been here. I can see and hear the world pass me by, but I can not move to do anything about it. I can not speak, nor do anything on my own. Tubes bring food into my body, tubes push the air of life into my lungs, and machines keep my heart beating. I see the ceiling most of the time, occasional a nurse will close my eyes and I will "sleep". Though I can't open my eyes on my own, they open themselves. Then, after they've been open for a while, I regain a sort of consciousness. Some times the nurse will come in and sit my bed up and turn on the TV, and some drab programs will flash by my line of sight, and I will lay there, as I always do. The days that hurt me are the days my mom comes to see me. She talks with me, GOD! How I want to talk back to her, but I can't. After a while she starts to cry, she always does. I can feel the tears in my eyes, but none come, they never do. My mom will cry until she has to leave and then say, "I love you...." I love you too mom, I love you very much. How I hurt. My physical pain does not exist, but mentally I'm torn apart. "He's not shown any improvement, he's brain is dammed beyond repair, he is brain dead." came the words as my consciousness came back again. "What is your decision?" I could just make out a doctor talking to my mother. My mother looked at me, those eyes, so wet with the tears of her pain. Why could I not cry for her. My mother signed a paper, and broke down crying. The doctor went of to the side of my bed, and I heard a click. What could he be doing. Then at once I knew. I no longer heard the ping of the heart monitor, the air pump no longer pumped the blessed air into my lungs. I heard my lungs force themselves to work, my heart struggled to beat long enough, long enough for what? "I love you mom." the words came from my mouth with purpose and pride, "Thank you..." my mom smiled back at me her eyes sad to see me go but happy to know I was happy. "...I'm free..." those last words were something I've waited to hear for so long. I realized then that I not been truly alive, I was just holding onto a flame that should have gone out long ago, I'm free. The last thing I heard was my heart beat, one last strong time, and then I was a peace, so was my mother, and that's all that matters. /////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ "DOMINATE" \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\//////////////////////////////////// The sky was dark and dreary. I felt the oppression of my labors upon me, how could I have been such a fool al this time. "Easy" I say to no one. I always fall for that face, no matter what happens. I am the ultimate fool. I can still see her looking at me, that face that could change my life, though never for the better. I often wonder what I see, or what I think when she's around, but of course I don't think, my will is her's to command. But once I leave and get into the trouble I always seem to bee in I realize what a stupid idea that what I'm doing is, but of course then it's too late. Then I'll go to her and say something like "I can't believe that you sent me into that!" or "What are you crazy, I could have been killed". But of course I never say any of these thing, she just looks at me and I think how selfish I've been and how much I just want to help her again, "Not this time." I swear to any god that may be listening, "Not again!". But these are fools words, I know that will happen. "There you are, I was hopping you would be here soon." comes that dulcet voice, I knew she was near, I could 'feel' her. "Come in from the rain before you get sick." She beckons, she sounds so sweat, so alone, so in need.... no I can't fall again. But alas I go in the door, she holds my hand as she leads me into the house. "Hold me." How can I resist her request, I hold her, her body warms mine, my aches and pains fade away, along with my will. I know already that I am her's. "You've been hurt so, let me heal you." She says taking off my shirt. "Your wounds run deep this time, but I'm sure I can help you." she says making it sound like I owe her something. As she binds my wounds I let my mind go to a better place, a place I hope I will one day find happiness in. "You will heal fine, as always my pet. Now easy my needs." She says with a longing look, "Satisfy the fire that is my desire." she smiles with her little rhyme. She reaches over and unbuckles my paints, as easily as she unbuckles my will. What follows can only be described as my total giving of my essence to her. She takes my will then my body. I don't want to give, but I must. "I love you." she says as she drops off her what little remains of her garments. "I love you." I say as I pull out my gun, "But I must do this." She looks at me, as if she had not seen the gun, but she knows it there. She stands and raises her arms up, "Do what you must." Pulling on the trigger is like pulling solid steel. I begin to doubt my own strength, but at last I win, the hammer pulls back then slams forward with a satisfying BANG. "I love you." she gets out in a guttural blood chocked voice as she slides to the floor. "I love you" I say, almost said to see her lying there dead. "I hope to find that place I dream of." My final words to the world as I pull the trigger one last time, this time the barrel points towards me. Funny that I find it easier to pull the trigger when the barrel is pointed at me.......... THE END? ú ùþ ú ÛÛÛÛÛÜÜÜÜþÜÜÜÜ ú ù ú ±±±±ÛÛÛßÛ²ÝÛÝÛÛÝþ Üú ±±±±²²²²²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÜþúÝ ù ±±²²²²ÛÛßßÛßÝÛÛÛÛÛÝÜúþ ²²²²²Ûß þúßÞþßþþÜùþ ²²²²Ûß ú ù ²²²ÛÝ ²²²ÛÜ Phoenix Modernz Systems: 908/830-TANJ ±²²²ÛÝ The Syndicate: 908/506-6892 ±±²²²ÛÜÜÜ Another Bloody BBS: 61/3-754-3599 ±±±²²²²²²ÛÜ Yellow Submarine: 404/552-5336 ÛÛ±±±±±±²²²Û Urban Discipline / VaS World HQ : 313/464-1470 ÛÛ±±±±±±²²²Û Earth's Dreamlands: 313/558-5024 ±±±²²²²²²ÛÜ RipCo ][: 312/528-5020 ±±²²²ÛÜÜÜ fActioN/DownGrade Evolution 205/995-0794 ±²²²ÛÝ ²²²ÛÜ ²²²ÛÝ ÕÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͸ ²²²²Ûß ú ù ³ TANJ Mailing Address ³ ²²²²²Ûß þúßÞþßþþÜùþ ³ PO Box 174 ³ ±±²²²²ÛÛßßÛßÝÛÛÛÛÛÝÜúþ ³ Seaside Hts, NJ ³ ±±±±²²²²²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÜþúÝ ù ³ 08751 ³ ±±±±ÛÛÛßÛ²ÝÛÝÛÛÝþ Üú ÔÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ; ÛÛÛÛÛÜÜÜÜþÜÜÜÜ ú ù ú