________/\ /\____ \_____ \____/ \ / - / - \ - / / /__/ \ / \___/ \______/___/ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rancidium (A quick & easy explosive) - Take a liquid plumber bottle, 1/2 EMPTY... Put in lighter fluid, & put on top plastic wrap to seal it. Pierce plastic wrap & insert a wick (preferably long). Then, set the wick on fire & run.. Basically what you just created is : Chemistry coming up here: - Lighter fluid starts burning - Liquid Plumber becomes active - Internal pressure causes Liquid Lighter misxutre to mix w/ plastic - Plastic blows - Little bits of corrosive-acid laced plastic blow all over & anyone in the path will need some GOOD plastic surgery ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Claus is a Pedophile (Song) Sing to the tune of Santa Claus is coming to town ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- You better not tell You better not sue Thats cause I'm telling you why Santa Claus is a pedophile He gives you gifts To shut you up So you won't sue his ass Santa Claus is a pedophile You sit on his lap He smiles so Gets to bury his bone Santa Claus is a pedophile Ever wonder why he got to be a saint? That's cause he was a priest And priests are pedophiles... (I commited blasphemy! Oh no! Someone shoot me) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Some thoughts on Christmas ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Christmas is the one holidat which makes me physically sick. Think. What is their to celebrate? The birth of Jesus? Mi amigo, that is total bullshit. (Quick history lesson coming up) Way back in the 100 ads, Christianity's main competition among the outskirts of the Roman Empire (where the Roman religion hadn't exactly caught on), was a religion called Mithraism. Mithraism worshipped "Mithras", a prophet who lived in Persia. He was credited with healing the sick, feeding people, prophecy & all the things your typical holy man does. But, with a difference: According to the religion, Mithras was born on December 25th to a virgin. Wow! Sound familar? Anyhow, Mithraism was a pretty damn cool religion, with most celebrations marked by getting drunk & having massive orgies. Of course, Christianity with it's somber, brainwashing, no-sex no-fun no-anything philosiphy couldn't compete that well. So, the Church seniors decided to have a symposium on how to cope with it. So, they decided to celebrate Jesus's birthday every 25th of December, with a somber church service. (Not fun, but with the proper spin put on it, well...). So now you know the truth about Christmas. So now what do you have left? Just lots of commercial bullshit by big corperation$ wanting you to buy their neato 300,000$ new products, the church celebrating a BS holiday, & stupid motherfucks from the Salvation Army begging for money. And the stupid HYPOCRISY of Christmas sickens me.. The theme is supposed to be love & happiness, but all people do is hate & threaten each other over the holiday. Geez... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Top ten names for Nirvana tribute albums ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 10. Nine Inch Nails "Head Like a Hole" 9. Hole "Hole" 8. Pearl Jam "Hey, we're the #1 grunge band now!" 7. Marilyn Manson "Get Your Gunns" 6. KMFDM "Don't Blow Your Top" 5. Dinosaur Jr. "Feel the Pain" 4. Stone Temple Poseurs "Big Empty (Head)" 3. REM "Bang and Blame" 2. Soundgarden "Fresh Tendrils" 1. Jimi Hendrix "Pink Haze (of guts all over the floor" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------