%%% %%% %%%% %%% %% %%%%% %%%% %%%% %% %%%% %% %% %% %% %%% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% % %% %% %% %%%% %% %% %% %% %%%% %% %%% %%%%% // // //// ////// ////// // \\ \ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ // /// // //////// ////// ////// // \\\\ \\\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ /// /// // // // // // // [ Mind Warp - Volume #0, Issue #3, File #003 ] [ "School Phun #1" by Raven ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Lame School 'Phun' [Raven/EoS] Another list of stupid things to do at school, there must be at least a hundred different text files that cover the topic. A special thanx to PlasticMan for the idea of #2, Hershey Kisses for #7, and to Big Bernie for the ideas for #1 and #9... 1. If you witness a fight, run into the crowd and yell at the top of your lungs "GUN!". it's great to see the people run.. usually even the people in the fight will take off. 2. If you happen to come across someone who's recently been dropping acid tell him something pleasant like "Aw, d00d, there're ants crawling all over you!!" or "Ahhhhhhhh!!! the room is filling up with snakes!!!" or anything that will scare the hell out of someone who can't reason and will believe everything that you happen to tell them. 3. Go to your local supermarket, and buy a pad-lock and some ground beef . Now, goto school on a friday or the day be for a holiday, and find an unused locker, throw the meat in it, and put the padlock on it. By next Monday there'll be a quite unpleasant smell, that will be sure to disrupt the school, and hopefully get you out of class (if it doesn't, then your friends will hate you). 4. Simple, but effective: Pull a fire alarm. But please, use enough sense to wear a glove or use a stick, or something, so #1 you don't leave finger prints, and #2 all fire alarms nowadays have a dye that comes out of the alarm when you pull it, thus marking the person who did pull it. 5. For those really religious, christian teachers : When it comes time to hand in your homework, hand in a sheet of paper that is nothing but pentagrams, "satan loves you" written backwords, lot's of 666's, and some broken crosses and anything satanic you can think of. 6. If you have a teacher who is constantly late, when you're in the class room, and the teacher isn't, go press the intercom pager button, thingy, and wait for the secratary to respond, then, when she does, have a girl in your class scream "SECURITY!!!" and you can get a security guard sent to your class, if you time it right, then you can get the teacher and the security guard to come into the room at the same time. Do this daily then do it on and off, like do it 2 days, then don't do it, do another day, then don't do it, make an irregular pattern, then, after a while of this, when they actually stop responding to these calls, just go and kill your teacher one day, it won't matter how loud she screams for security! hahahaha! 7. Near the beginning of a new semester, when you get into a new class, and the teacher is assigning new books to each student, there are usually a lot of extra books lying on her desk, when she isn't looking, steal as many as you can fit into your bag. Then take the books to a local used book store. They'll buy em back for $10-$20 a piece. 8. Become great friends with all the school faculty, especially security guards and janitors. #1: Janitors are just plain cool, #2: if you become friends with the security guards, and you get into a fight with someone, they can help you in one of two ways: if you're kickin the kid's ass, they'll take their time getting over to the fight, and let you kick his ass a little longer, or, if you're getting your ass kicked, they'll run over, and maybe pound on him a little for you. 9. If your school is currently offering free condoms, go get a couple, and unroll them. Then get a big ass loogie in your mouth, and spit it into the condom. Find a busy hallway, or even better, a crowded lunch table, and fling the condom in. It'll take about 2 seconds for someone to realize what it is, but when they do, you can believe the area will be empty in another 2 seconds. Loogies and cum are very hard to tell apart from each other when you're glancing at it for a second. 10. If you know someone who has openly declared themselves as a 'homophobe', stalk them, and when they go into the bathroom, get a bunch of your friends together, and go into the bathroom behind him. Go to the urinal next to his, while a friend goes to the one on the other side, and have the rest of your friends kind of create a semi-circle around the dude. then while he's peeing, both you and your friend, will both blatanly start staring at his penis, with a wide grin on your face, while the others all stare at him with the same big grin, when he turns around to run, he'll be greeted by a bunch of other smiling faces. hahahaha that'll scare the shit outta the little ignorant mofo. 11. Turn your school's air conditioning into the world's biggest bong. Buy as much pot as you can afford, I mean a LOT of pot, and go to the boiler room of your school. Most schools have centralized A/C, so look for one of the major A/C ventilation ducts. Find something that can hold the burning pot, but will let still the smoke out of it and let it burn properly (it should be big, cuz you shoulda gotten enough pot. If you're a poor mofo, then go steal some, or kill a dealer or something.) Now, set the container with the pot in it, in the air duct, now, light it up, and when the fire alarms go off, and everyone leaves the building, just have all your friends stay in the bathroom or something, and get real close to the A/C... ============================================================================== Call Arsonist's Arsenal BBS the Mind Warp WHQ - (301) 208-0847 ==============================================================================