----------------------------------------------------------------------------- úú ú ú ú úú ú ú ú úú úùù ú ù ú .e#, úú ú ù úú ù ú ùù úúú úù ú ù úú ù úùù ùù;;ùùùù:ùù ,aS$$$$`,e#S$$%, ,a#Sý"$#e, .e#Sý"$@s, ,a#Sý"$#e, ùùù:ùù;:ù. .;:ii;:;;i;;: ý$$$$ý&$$$ý `$$S,&$$$$ `$$$…d$$$$ "$$$…$$$$Se,`$$$… :;i;:ii;; iiiIIiiiiIii g,$$$$ ý$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$ggggg "ýSSe, iIiiIIi :::ii:;; ,eS$ý"$$$$$ ý$S, S$$$"$$$$, S$$$`$$$$, $$$$"$$$$, $$$$& ;i:;ii:: ùùù;:ùù &$$$ ù $$$$ ùù`"S$#ý"`ùùù"ýS$ `$&ý"ùù"ýS$#e$$$$#a"ý&$#,$#ý" ùù;ùù:;ùù úúùùú $$$$, $$$$ sc!ú úù ùù ú ù ú úúú ùú `"ý$S ` ùùúú ù ú ùú ùùú úú "$$$Sa,#S$ý ú úú ú ú úú ú ú úú `"ý#$S"` ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I'm afraid I'm falling for you, 'n I'd do about anything to get the hell out alive.. or maybe I would rather settle down with you." Weezer, "Falling For You" Copyright and contact information is located at the bottom of this magazine. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jonas E'Zine Volume 2, Issue 8 :: March 13, 1996 In this issue.. 1. Edicius' Editorial 2. Jonas News and Information - by Tom Sullivan 3. Europe, My Experiences: Part 1 [travel journal] - by Tom Sullivan 4. Angst - the Big Picture [essay] - by Jamesy 5. A Good Walk and a Nice Belt Does a Man Good [story] - by Jeffrey Brayne 6. Cloning - Invasion of the Bodysnatchers [essay] - by Auren Hoffman 7. At the Surface [poem/story] - by Tom Sullivan 8. Simon the Ant [story] - by Jeffrey Brayne 9. Poetry - by Various Writers 10. Reviews - by Tom Sullivan 11. Closing Notes and Copyright Information ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Edicius' Editorial ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today, I met my Grandmother. Before today, I have no memory of a person who should have been a very integral part of my life for the last seventeen years. I met a person whom I last met when I was almost one year old, and before today, I only "knew" about. You see, my grandmother- my father's mother, and the last of any of my grandparents- is a very sour woman. I really don't want to say that, but she is. She's from the old school of thought. She came over from Ireland, and worked for her children. Her husband passed away, and she raised her children on her own. So, when my father met a woman and got married, she didn't like that. She felt that my mother was stealing my father away from her. So, the last time that I saw my grandmother was when I lived in New York City, and I moved out of New York when I was about 10 months old. It's always hurt me. This woman despised my mother. My mother is the nicest and kind-hearted person that I know. But, because my grandmother is stubborn, she couldn't accept the fact that her children would grow up and get married. I wanted to know this woman. I wanted her to know me. I wanted to have some sort of relationship with her.. but she refused to be a part of my life. She refused to be a part of my brother's life, she refused to be a part of my sister's life.. She refused to be a part of my parents life. For what reason? I don't really know. Because my mother married my father, my grandmother believed that she was losing her youngest son. She wouldn't have lost him, but through her actions, she lost him. Over the past few years, she's become older (she's going to be ninety in a few days) and more dependent. She lived in a nursing home in Yonkers (NY), and my Uncle Dennis took care of her, because he lived close by. However, a few years ago, he met a woman and they started dating. He moved in with her, at her house in Brooklyn. She rented out rooms in the house, and had a spare room that his mother could move in to. So, instead of being so far away, he took her in to his home. Now, this is where my grandmother became somewhat, but not much, nicer to my mother. She had a new woman to dislike. A new woman was taking away another son. So, she became somewhat nicer to my mom. They've been able to have conversations on the phone without my grandmother screaming at her. But, they still didn't see each other. My dad does visit her, however. In a few days, she's turning ninety. My Uncle Dennis invited us to his house to have dinner and cake for my grandmother. I went with my parents, my brother & sister, my sister-in-law, and my nephew. I really wanted to have some sort of memory of my grandmother before she passes on. & now I do. It's remarkable. This woman astounded me. We talked for a little while, and it really upset me that I never got a chance to really know her. It really upset me that she could be so mean to my mother, even though my mother would have done so much for her. We talked, but we couldn't really talk. This woman knew absolutely nothing about me.. and that hurt. It really hurt me. I mean, this is the first vivid memory of her that I have. Unfortunately, it might be my last. I hope not, but that's how it might be. I can't believe that one's stubbornness would allow them to miss out on so much. It amazes me, and it hurts me. I really wish that I could have known her, and known about her.. I'm sure that she could tell me some amazing stories- about her childhood in Ireland, or her life in New York City. But years ago, she made a decision. She decided that she didn't want anything to do with our lives. There's nothing that I can do about that now. It was her choice, and she missed out on a lot. I'm glad that I did get a chance to see her, and get to see for myself what she is like, before she passes on. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jonas News and Information :: by Tom Sullivan ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Jonas website (http://www.cybercomm.net/~edi/jonas/) has been redone, again. But, this time, we've added more features. You'll find a lot more up-to-date information and features. There's a Weezer news section, a New Jersey Music information page, stuff that doesn't make the ascii edition. Generally, a lot of stuff. It'll be updated quite regularly, so check it out. & no, this three or five month lapse between issues won't be a common occurrence. Trust me. We have a lot of good poetry this month, check it out. And mark your calendars: April 4, that's our two year birthday. Aww, yeah. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Europe, My Experiences: Part 1 :: by Tom Sullivan ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Each year in the Hague, Netherlands, nearly two hundred high schools from around the world converge on the Congressgabouw for what is called The Hague International Model United Nations (THIMUN, from now on). Now in it's 29th year, THIMUN is a week long conference in which each high school represents a different United Nation-represented country or organization. During the week, there are various debates and speakers, and different topics that different committees cover. My school is one of about twelve in the country that participate in this event, and we have been participating in this for around 25 years. This year we were representing Costa Rica and the United Nations Disaster Relief Office (UNDRO). I was lucky enough to be selected to go on this trip, and it gave me a wonderful opportunity to learn about a different culture, nation, and people. We left the United States on Friday, January 17th on a KLM flight out of JFK Airport (New York) at 11:25 pm. We arrived at Schipol Airport in Amsterdam on the 18th around noon. It took us a little while to get our things together, exchange money, and go through customs. We finally got to the Carlton Beach Hotel in Schevenigen (about 45 - 50 minutes north of Amsterdam) around three that afternoon. We went out, ate dinner, and got a general feel for the city. I attempted to keep a travel journal, but that didn't work. But, I did manage to get a few enteries here and there, and one of the complete ones was for this first day: ----- Day 1, 10:10PM (Netherlands) This day is finally coming to an end. I'm really happy with how the day was. The Netherlands is a great place. We started the day in the air, landed in Amsterdam, and now we're 45 minutes north of there, in Schevenigen. We're staying at the Carlton Beach Hotel. The landing was odd. The pilot told us that there was only a 600 meter visibility. That was evident when we landed and didn't see the runaway until the very last second. Schipol Airport is cool. Really modern and colorful. Nicer atmosphere, too. We took a bus here from the airport. When we're actually here, and on our own, the trip is worthwhile. we've done so much today, it's nuts. I called home, and then we went to the mall. That mall's cool, some interesting CDs in the music store (heavy on dance and techno, which I figured). Prices were too high though, some CDs were 42 - 50 gilders (roughly $US 25). I went to dinner. We went to Applebee's, and I had a hamburger. Real cultural. They were drinking there, and then we went to a bar where they drank some more. I took a walk off by myself and went to the mall again. I looked around, and they had an awesome air hockey table there. Really .. weird. I met up with them, and they bought some more liquor (including "hemp" soda, with hemp extract) and brought it back to the hotel room(s). The rest of the night has been a huge party. We've been jumping from room to room, floor to floor. We met some delegates from St. Louis, they're representing Sudan and the World Health Organization. We invited them to come and hang out with us, but I probably scared them off. ----- That's my only complete journal entry. I have fragments of thoughts here and there, but nothing worth publishing. Anyway, I'll continue with the rest of the trip. On the second day, we were supposed to meet our host families. You see, over the years, my school, Mater Dei, has established a relationship with the Maerlant Lyceum. Over the years, this has become our sister school in the Netherlands, and each year, during THIMUN week, they provide room and board for students from my school. On my delegation, we had twenty one students. They had about fifteen in their delegation, so there was generally one or two students from my school per student from their school. In one or two cases, there were three from my school in the same house. The person that I was rooming with went by the name of Menzo Reinders. I met him at about three in the afternoon. He was a very cool person. I don't know how to really describe him. He was the good looking, suave, and cool one that all the girls like. He was really good to me, and the another kid that I was rooming with from my school, Mike, during the week. We went back to his house. But first, we had to drag our luggage over a mile to the bus stop, take it on the bus, and then take it another half mile once we got off the bus. It didn't bother me much. His house was neat. I was up in the attic, and I had a lot of toys to play with to keep myself busy. He had two younger brothers, 6 & 8. His mother worked for the Ministry of Education, and his father was a judge. His family would prove to be very cool, and very receptive to us over the week. They helped me learn a lot about Dutch culture and made my time there very enjoyable. The first night with Menzo, we went out to an Italian restaurant with my delegation and the delegation from the Lyceum. Donatello's; it was an interesting place, nothing too out of the ordinary, when compared to American restaurants. Afterwords, we went out to Club MTV. This was a bar that Menzo, Mike, and I had gone to earlier. It was sponsored by MTV Europe, and had two big screen TVs showing MTV Europe, but they played shitty American dance music the whole time. During the course of the week in the Hague, I would go to this bar every night. Menzo didn't have a curfew, so we could come in whenever we wanted to. The last bus to Menzo's house that left the area where we spent most of our time in was at 12:44am. So, it was either take that bus, or take a cab. I made the bus every night, because I wasn't drinking. But Mike and Menzo took a cab home a few nights. The next day was our first day of actual THIMUN activities. It was extremely boring. It was the first day, a day of lobbying. We were supposed to meet other people, share ideas, and see what I would be working on during my week on the great Disarmament Commission. More or less, I went to one meeting, talked to a few kids about nuclear weapon free zones in the South Asia and Middle East, took a two hour lunch, and left at 3:30. In the morning, we were supposed to meet my MUN (Model United Nation) director between 8:30 and 9 in the lobby. The first day, we ran a bit late with breakfast, and didn't get there until 9:05.. On Wednesday, we came in about 9:15, but that was ok, because our deputy Chairperson and four other people didn't come in until 9:30. That night, we went out to Club MTV, and Jaque's. Jaque's was a cool bar. Really crowded, and once you were in, you were in. They played better music; one night, they played a live version of U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday" and everyone just shut up, and sang along. It was really eerie, but really awesome. The only other bar that I went to more then once was this weird place called the Blue Purple. They had a bunch of pool tables, the only bartender that I came across that didn't speak English, and pretty good techno music. I liked it, but I didn't. It was an ok place. I preferred the Club MTV more, for some reason. As far as the actual THIMUN activities go, it was an interesting time. I didn't participate in any of the debates, although I did raise my placard a few times, but just didn't get called on. It seemed that our chairpeople were biased towards certain countries, but kept calling on South Korea, Seychylles, Afghanastan, and Comoros. So, I kept hearing the same people up at the podium speaking during the debates, proposing resolutions and amendments to the resolutions and striking clauses and blah. It got boring at times, and I fell a sleep a few times. Luckily, I had another person from my delegation there with me, Jill, and she woke me up. Well, we woke each other up .. The rest of the week was the same. Go to THIMUN, go out to a club, watch a lot of people get drunk and stoned, go home, sleep. Repeat. I didn't touch anything while I was over there, I'm a very adamant straight-edge person. It also seemed that some of the people that did get drunk or high wound up doing something that they shouldn't have, and now have things haunting them that they don't want. I also didn't touch anyone, of course, because I'm a loyal sap, and I had, and still have, a girlfriend over here. On Saturday, we went to the bus station with our stuff, and took a bus to Amsterdam. We left our host families, and it was sad. but, I'm writing to Menzo, and I plan on keeping in touch with him. If I do go back next year, I will see everyone again. The Hague, to me, was an odd place. I don't really know how to classify it. It had a lot of really cool shops and stores and it had aspects of a "city" in certain areas. but, everything, besides some restaurants and bars, closed at nine. There is no such thing as a "convenience" store there. However, McDonalds and Burger King were open until 12, and one McDonalds was a 24 hour place. Amsterdam, however, was everything I thought it would be. It was a large city, and the closest thing that I could compare to New York or Philadelphia. Things were always going, round the clock; stores, shows, bars. Whatever you wanted, you could find late at night. There were homeless, and people begging for change. It was an awesome place. There, were stayed in the Barbizon Centre Hotel. It was a fantastic place, but one of the bell hops was a stalker. He was constantly around the fifth floor, the floor my delegation (including girls) was on. He would always talk to certain girls, and actually invited one of them to go out to dinner with him. & he was about 30. nutjob. In Amsterdam, we did a lot of things. I went to different museums, including the Anne Frank House, the Rijkmuseum (Renoir's "Night Watch" is there), the Torture Museum, the Van Gogh Museum, and the Sex Museum. The Sex Museum is something that you could only find in a place like Amsterdam, and it's right down the street from a Hooters. The Sex Museum was ok. It had a big room with pictures all on the walls, divided into categories: bestiality, fat women, oral sex, and so on .. Other then that, the museum wasn't spectacular. We also took a day trip to Cologne in Germany. There, we went to a really big cathedral. There's an observation tower, about 600 meters high, there. I walked up to the top, and it was an awesome view. Although it was foggy, you could see a few miles across the Rhine River. During World War II, that Cathedral was not bombed, Allied Forces held the church in high regard, and refused to purposely destroy them. So, the Germans used it as their lookout post for Allied Forces. Overall, my thoughts on the Netherlands are very good. I didn't really have any "bad" experiences, just the general feeling of homesickness from time to time. One of my friends also had her pocketbook stolen from a shoestore in Amsterdam. Otherwise, nothing bad happened to myself or anyone else I went there with. So, we were lucky. My general impression of the people there is very good. There were homeless people and panhandlers, but you didn't find very many people who you would really look at "odd", much like you would do walking down the street in New York or Philadelphia. (A few interesting street performers aside, of course.) People over there are a lot more liberal, as well. Generally, I liked the people that I met over there. I had a great time on this trip. I learned a lot about different things. I became closer friends with a few people from my school. Generally, things went excellent. I look forward to possibly returning there one day, and definitely seeing a lot more of Europe in the future. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Angst - The Big Picture :: by Jamesy ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Angst has quickly become a commonly used word in the American language. Many see it as a Generation/X phenomena, stemming from living in an atomic age where nuclear holocaust is a distinct possibility. However, with the fall of The Soviet Union and the end of the Cold War, this threat of global nuclear war has, for the most part, diminished. Yet angst is still flourishing. What, exactly, is angst, and where are its origins? Is angst a positive thing? The definition the Internet newsgroup has placed on angst is, "Any feelings of anxiety, grief, unhappiness, suffering, misery, depression, sadness, and fear." _The Oxford Dictionary_ defines angst as, "Anxiety, anguish, neurotic fear; guilt, remorse." _Webster's 9th Collegiate Dictionary_ has, "A feeling of anxiety, apprehension, or insecurity." Some of these words defining angst are very active emotions, others are very passive. Yet the only word used in all three definitions is anxiety. Whether or not angst should be associated with sadness or misery can be debated. One thing all three of these definitions leaves out is the frustration that is a vital piece of angst. Since none of these definitions fit my conception of angst, I will provide an operational definition of angst for this essay. Angst is the frustration associated with attempting to structure one's personal universe and failing, coming directly in conflict with society because of one's idealistic view of what "should be" instead of what "is." Angst did not originate with Generation/X. It can probably be best associated with the age of the irrational, beginning in the late nineteenth century. As the second scientific revolution was knocking at time's door, a revolution that would destroy any conception we had of absolutes in our world, many thinkers began to come up with philosophies that were not all bright, shiny days and pretty flowers. Friedrich Nietzche was a forerunner of these theories, asking, "What path should the individual take in a world where God is dead?" (Perry, 686) However, like Nietzche, most did not come up with conclusions to their questions. "Nietzche had no constructive proposals for dealing with the disintegration of rational and Christian certainties. Instead, his vitriolic attack on European institutions and values helped to erode the rational foundations of Western Civilization" (Perry, 687). Knowing that angst is not just a product of our generation, we can go back to focusing on what angst exactly is. According to the newsgroup alt.angst, "Above all, True Angst (tm) arises from the notion that life is essentially pointless and absurd, and that our miserable existences count for very little in the grand scheme of things. There are two main categories of Angst: emotional, and intellectual. Emotional Angst encompasses the typical experiences of human suffering. Intellectual Angst is primarily concerned with The Great Sucking Void of Existence." (FAQ, 1) Unfortunately, their definition sounds much more like the definition of nihilism then the definition of angst. Angst is the frustration associated with an idealistic person striving to reach perfection and failing. Although an angstful person may creep towards nihilism in the long run, their idealism still causes them to get blatantly pissed-off when their endeavors do not return success. It is unfortunate that alt.angst is the only real source for the discussion of angst on the Internet, especially since they label angst as more of a nihilistic view of the world than it is. Nihilism is at odds with angst; the angstful ask themselves "why don't things work out this way? why does everything go wrong? what is wrong with me? what is wrong with the world?" while the nihilistic are resolved on these matters, assured that "the world is fucked up. deal with it." The only thing I believe valid about alt.angst's definition of angst is its importance. They state, "We all embrace angst here. It is what defines our existence. After all, what use would life be if everything was easy and there was nothing to worry about? Angst is a necessary element in the growth and development of any human being. It is what builds character; it provides contrast and depth to the human experience. Angst, at its simplest, is that which makes us human." (FAQ, 2) Although their belief might be a little too encompassing, it strengthens my assertion that angst is not about nihilism. Angst is about questioning why things are the way they are and prepares us to later decide what we want to try to do about them. If we did not passionately become worried about the world, our lives, our families, our educations, we would not be as determined to fix what we see as problems. Angst can strengthen idealism, and provide it with the foundation that decisions based on realistic problems can be measured from. And, probably most important, angst provides us with a polar emotion, making the feelings of pride and self-worth all the stronger when they are experienced. -------------------- Works Cited "Angst." _Webster's Collegiate Dictionary_. 9th. "Angst." _The Oxford Dictionary_. Perry, Marvin et al. _Western Civilization: Ideas, Politics &_ _Society_. 5th ed. Geneva: Haughton Mifflin, 1996. "alt.angst: Frequently Asked Questions." Online. Internet. Available www.angst.com/faq.html. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Good Belt and a Nice Walk Does a Man Good :: by Jeffrey Brayne ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- A sweltering cubicle at 100 degrees. All alone, hot, and hungry. What the hell was I thinking. I left a good woman, a beautiful house and a ceiling fan for this. What makes a man leave good for bad? A question I ask myself often. I got home from the gig at about 10:30 and realized I didn't have a key for the place I was staying yet so I walked down to the Globe. I went in and had myself a Guinness, the drink of champions. As I looked around I saw many people who looked like they didn't have the key for their place either. I then sat there until I had figured on someone being home at my new hovel. I shouldn't say hovel, the walls were painted. Anyway... After about 5 Guinness'', my legs felt like walking and my bladder felt like emptying, so I was off. Nothing is more oppressive than a full bladder. It can make you do the craziest things! As I was urinating on the side of a house, I spied a girl I knew who had seduced my fiance more then once. She was driving slowly and peering down the driveways as if looking for something or someone. I think she was looking for me. I was near my new abode and I'm sure she had some idea about where I was co-habitating with my workmates. I didn't want to see her so I ran to the house. I forgot to stop urinating. It created a little mess. Luckily, one of my roommates was home. He and his girl were watching TV. I knocked on the door because it was locked. I didn't have a key, you know. They let me in and I tried to hide my pants by pulling my shirt down. It worked. I ran up the stairs and removed my clothes. It was then that I started thinking about the temperature of this room, my urine stained pants, my lack of company, and oh yes, my missing driver's side window removed carelessly, by someone without a job, at the gig in Scranton last Friday night, but that's another story. It's time for bed now. Good night. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cloning - invasion of the body snatchers, the sequel :: by Auren Hoffman ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Dr. Ian Wilmut of Scotland (if it ain't Scottish it's crap!) decides to clone an adult sheep and play the divine one. A week later it is revealed that another group of researchers have cloned a monkey. By now we all know the story, thought about the consequences of cloning humans, and wondered what type of human would consent to actually being cloned. But we may not have considered who owns these clones. Current US Patent law states that anything that is man made can be patented. This has been interpreted by the US Supreme Court and other courts to allow researches to patent an actual strand of DNA, as long it is isolated. Many scientists have patented human cells and many legal experts believe that patents should apply to human organs. You get where I'm going? Maybe someday someone somewhere will patent a human clone or a slightly altered clone. Goodbye 13th amendment. Slavery officially ended in the Nineteenth Century (in the United States) but the Twenty-First Century may bring us a new dark era of cloning humans, or superhumans, to do man's dirty-work. These clones would be owned lock, stock, and barrel by the patent owner for the duration of the patent (and maybe copyrighted thereafter). Imagine keeping a human clone (like Dolly the sheep) in captivity for the purpose of drug testing. You could build an arsenal of clones who would be forced to take drugs and perform experiments to save the "originals." We might create an entire caste system were there exists free "originals" and slave "clones." Awful. Though the technology is fascinating and its discovery is commendable, "cloning" brings up a host of social implications. Cloning sheep (isn't it weird that "sheep" is the plural for "sheep." I think we should change the English language so that the singular is "shep" but that's another column) or other livestock could be advantageous if the process becomes inexpensive and efficient. We could ensure that every shepherd is raising strong and fat cattle, all looking exactly alike. Of course, a large part of raising cattle is nurture, not nature. If I was a sheep (that accusation has been made before), I'd go crazy if all my friends were my exact duplicate. Scary. Even more scary is the possibility of cloning humans. Of course we all know that cloning sheep isn't much different from cloning Michael Jackson, Madonna, Dennis Rodman, or Bill Clinton. Or any human being. Though the average Jane probably could not afford the process of isolating their DNA and then planting it into the womb of a paid woman carrier, Hollywood celebrities could indeed afford to clone themselves. But what's the use? Would Pee Wee Herman be a good parent to his twin? Imagine growing up as the twin of your father. Your real father is your father's father and your real mother is your father's mother. Faye Dunaway's "my sister, my daughter, my sister, my daughter" line from Chinatown may now have a whole new meaning. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- At the Surface :: by Tom Sullivan ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "you're dumb" do you even realize what you did how you behaved how i felt? did my feelings ever come into play into consideration into your thoughts? They stood outside the convenience store, yelling and fighting. Well, at first there wasn't much yelling, nor fighting. It just kind of sprawled from that first spark, as their friends looked on. They didn't want to get involved, that would be too much of an inconvenience. So, they got their Big Gulps and Doritos, and kept on watching. Making snide remarks, hoping that the two would get their act together so they could go somewhere else. "i'm not comfortable with this situation" shut up you don't even know how good you have it with me us together you can't handle us our relationship you need to fuck and suck whoever whatever whenever you want to, without guilt conscience feelings emotions "being tied down" She was shaken. No one had talked to her like this before. She didn't want to admit it, but he was right. She couldn't admit it. They had gone too far into this discussion to turn back, it was a pride issue now. Maybe less of a pride issue, and more of a "she's dumb" issue, and sometimes didn't know how to do the right thing. It would have made him very happy to know that she actually understood what was going on, and how much he was hurt, but where was _her_ immediate satisfaction in that? "leave me alone" bye yeah whatever uh-huh i've heard that before shut the fuck up She tried to apologize, but it didn't work. Nothing worked. She was using the same tired lines over and over again. Yada yada yada. He didn't want to hear it. It's not that he didn't care about her anymore, it's just that he refused to believe that she was feeling any remorse. She couldn't, he thought, attempt to rectify it now. "you're not fit to drive" oh now you care? now you don't want to lose me? now you're afraid and you realize what you've done? too late. It's weird how one doesn't show their true inner-self until extreme circumstances arrive. How was she to know that he wasn't ahomicidall maniac? They never got to a point in which that side of him could come out. Heck, how was _he_ to know that he wasn't ahomicidall maniac? Certain things develop over years. But, here she was, trying .. "bitch" dumb whore get out of my face call me when you understand other people's emotions and when you learn how to handle yourself and when you admit to yourself that you really do have problems .. but he didn't want to hear it. She tried before, and she'll "try" again, but it didn't matter to him. It didn't matter to him because, at the surface, it didn't matter to her. How is he to know how she acts when he's not around? She could be leading him on over the months that they're together. She could lie and cheat and steal behind his back, but in his eyes, she'll always be an angel. red white blue red white blue flash flash .. but maybe, it's better that he thinks that she's an angel. When memories are all that you have to live by, it's best to think of the good things. & if he doesn't know what she did behind him, then he doesn't really know the bad things? Kind of ironic, isn't it? As long as she's good to him to his face, and he never finds out about her lies, they're both happy, at the surface. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Simon the Ant :: by Jeffrey Brayne ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Part Two: Simon Has a Blast! ---------------------------- Simon picks up his chick after school one day. They decide to go for a ride in his car. It is a 1974 Chevy Nova. She says, "Drive really fast Simon! I love it when you drive fast." He does as instructed by his chick. They are cruising North of Route 29 at about 108 MPH! They are having fun. After a short while, the fun wears off. She says, "Oh Simon, why don't we pick up some beer. I love to drive around and drink beer!" So they did. He bought a 12 pack and then continued driving on Route 29. They drank. They were drunk. She then says, "Oh Simon, do you still have that dynamite in the back seat of you '74 Nova?" "I SURE DO!" answers Simon. He reaches around back and grabs a stick. He hands the stick to her. She says she wants to light andd throw it out the window. Simon agrees that it would be a good idea. She lights the dynamite and throws it. She forgot to roll the window down. I heard today that they might live. I also heard there's a '74 Nova for sale for parts, $50 OBO. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Poetry :: by Various Writers ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- shredded nights - by Eerie i have yet to find another hole to fall into another weakness to plague sitting around black shot cells they drive me mad & green threads of blistering lights & yellow flashes blink blink blink fucking sun doesn't set back not that i still have any sympathy for the night go on repetitive movements fuck you again & again & again every god damn night you make me so fucking sick -------------------- iron crests - by Eerie slowly fading smell of boredom & the chants from paraplegic fairies hung on each wall to give a sense of rapture as sand hurts my skin under a cardboard colored sky -------------------- Nice - by Jeffrey Brayne sometimes generic is good sometimes generic is fine sometimes generic is all that you want and more. what would life be without genericism? the world is androgynous and envious of shame shame that allows us to continue our facade of tyranny against the unsuspectings gratuitous lies that envelope our beings without conscience without truth. -------------------- new years, 1996-97 - by Tom Sullivan your warm breath against my cheek on a cold winter night amongst the swarm of the masses of celebrants in a holiday that'll seem small once we're together. as the ball drops and couples get together- to ring in the new year, i want to celebrate it with you and only you. my arm around your shivering shoulder partying until the break of dawn with goofy hats and jazz bands and friends all having a good time just slip away with me and forget everyone else spending this night together will secure what will be the greatest year of our lives if we're together. -------------------- "untitled" by belial what is this reality? a silly computer with no mind, no thoughts? is it something higher? no. do i create my own reality? my own way of being... my own time, my own future? no. do i need to get more in touch? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reviews :: by Tom Sullivan ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- In Concert ---------- Mighty Mighty Bosstones/King Chango/The Shods - Stone Pony (Asbury Park, NJ), December 6, 1996 My CD copy of the Bosstone's _Don't Know How To Party_ skips somewhere during "Issachar", and it really fucks it up. On this night, the Bosstones didn't miss a beat, as they brought their ska sounds to an extremely receptive Jersey audience. I saw the Bosstones a few months ago, when they came around with the Warped Tour, and I thought they were perfect then. I knew that this time they would be even better. I looked forward to hearing a full set from them, and not the 45 minute-abridged Warped Tour version. The Bosstones were supported by the Boston-area band, The Shods. The Shods' guitarist, whose name I really can't remember, toured with the Bosstones on their last tour, in Nate Albert's place. The Shods were ok. They played a slow pop-ska-minus horns set that lasted about 30 minutes. They did do a number that Dickey Barret of the Bosstones wrote and sung, with the full Bosstone's horn section. That was a pretty good song. Next up, was the latin-ska band, King Chango. They were really impressive. This was the first show that they were doing with the Bosstones, even the first time that Dickey even saw them. They did a great set, turning out terrific ska beats with Spanish/Latin undertones. They got the ground dancing, and they seemed to have a terrific time. Soon after, the Bosstones took the stage to the loud cry of "Mighty Mighty - Bosstones" from the audience. They entered with the lights darkened and a giant bulldog banner behind the drumset, and took off to a roaring new song called "Noise Brigade." Over the next hour and a half, they kept the crowd dancing and having a great time by playing a great mix of old and new songs. They gave us old favorites, such as the near-hit "Someday I Suppose", "Holy Smoke" "Hell of a Hat" and "Toxic Toast", and "The Bartender's Song." During "Toxic Toast", they were joined by their bus driver on the keyboard, and the guitarist from The Shods. They also debuted a large amount of new songs to the crowd, all of which are on the Bosstones upcoming release, due out on March 11. Overall, this was a very exciting night of Ska music on the Jersey Shore. This is the third time in a year that the Bosstones have come to the Pony, and each time they blew the roof off the place. The Bosstones are always welcome in New Jersey. ---------- CDs ---- Lisa Meri (I'm Not Gonna Say I Told You So) Lisa Meri plays a mixture of jazz, rock, and pop. She has a really good voice, and is a good pianist.. but, she just doesn't do anything for me with this 5 song EP. It's a good effort, and I don't want to classify her as another female artist with a piano (read: Tori Amos, Fiona Apple), but I may come off as doing so. Meri's sometimes hoarse and sometimes raspy voice and piano don't really create a good harmony on this album, except on the final track, "Can I, Could I be your Friend". (Lisa Meri, PO Box 932, Cambridge MA 02140) ---------- Demos ----- Hated Youth (Rejected) This six song demo spotlights a promising hardcore band from Illinois. However, the second side of my copy of this demo is really screwed up, and it only plays one of the three songs that are supposed to be on that side. & it plays that one song in double time, so it's really distorted. Anyway, the three songs that I could hear, "Hated", "I Wanna Kill You", and "IAM" are really good. The drummer in this band is terrific, but you can't hear the bassist that well on "Hated". The guitarist is a good for the style, he's fast and loud. The vocals are the same, fast and loud and screeching. Brett Noble, the drummer, really impresses me on this demo. He's really good. Overall, this seems to be a good band. With a better recording, and more "refinement" in their music, Hated Youth will be a good band. ($3 ppd, Hated Youth, 4213 23rd Ave, Moline IL 61265 :: blkczr@aol.com) ----- Dread Fabric (s/t, Jailbait Records) "The basic ethos of the band is that on stage you either put on a good show and sound good or if Johnny Soundman dicks you, break shit (we're a very intellectually based band)." A really loud and fast punk band from New Jersey. I don't know how to describe them. They're good on this demo. Really fast, and really loud. I don't know how to describe much further. The tape starts out with "Shoot the Meltdown" and goes into "Riot". Both of these songs are really good. The rest of this side is really good, although the tape cuts off right at the beginning of the last song on Side A. Side B is pretty good, too. My favorite song is "Black Hammer". The album ends with "Azul!"; did I mention that both Fitz (lead singer) and Chris (bass) are both card carrying Communists, as well as Native American Rights Activists? Needless to say, this is a very politically charged band. This is a good band. Fast punk chords, coupled with a good drummer and bassist give way to a good band in the rising New Jersey punk scene. (DF Fitz, 2 Forman CT, Englishtown NJ, 07726-2905) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Contact & Copyright Information ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jonas e'Zine Volume 2, Issue 8 is Copyright (c) 1997 by Jonas Productions, all rights reserved. Copyrights to stories, articles, artwork, and photographs are property of their creators, unless otherwise noted. The contents of this publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the express written consent of the copyright owner. Jonas may be freely distributed as long as this notice remains in place. Means of contacting Jonas Productions: email - edi@cybercomm.net (edicius/main address) marc@netlabs.net (belial) www - http://www.cybercomm.net/~edi/jonas/index.html ftp - ftp.etext.org /pub/Zines/Jonas mail - Jonas e'Zine / c/o Tom Sullivan / 8 Mills Avenue / Port Monmouth, NJ 07758-1114 irc - look for edi on the EfNet IRC channel #jonas Miscelaneous information: Thanks to; Belial, Mindcrime, Grey Hawk, Pat, James, Steve, Kristen, and Brianne. Also, Abbott Promotions, Hated Youth, and Dread Fabric. I also need to thank every who has helped me along the way. Thanks for everything. CDs that I was listening to right before the release of this issue: Reel Big Fish, "Turn the Radio Off" / Suicide Machines, "Destruction by Definition" / Skankin' Pickle, "The Green Album" / Rocket From the Crypt, "Scream Dracula Scream" / & Weston, "Got Beat Up" Jonas reviews all 'zines, cds, demos, movies, or anything else that is sent to them. Send it to our address listed above. We promise we will review it. ---eof-----------------------------------------------------------------eof---