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     $$     .d""b. .d""b.                  HOE E'ZINE #1089
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     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$ss$$               "The White Male Speaks"
     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$                          by Nybar
     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$  $$                      06/07/00
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     $$  $$ "TssT" "TssT"

        As some of you doubtless already know, I am a white male.  My fellow
 white males, or at least those among you who live in the United States or
 one of the rich sections of Europe, need read no further.  Opulent Asians
 who were raised as white also need not concern themselves with this essay.
 It is directed solely at the outliers: the remaining 90% of the world.
 So... let us begin.

        Much has been made of the fact that the white man in American
 society strenuously conspired for 400 years to keep all other races and
 sexes at the bottom of the pecking order.  In these enlightened days,
 however, it is in vogue to say that America's race problems are truly
 solved.  The 70s, 80s, and 90s each crowed over having produced truly
 "color-blind" generations.  Furthermore, it is fashionable to aver that
 racial and societal progress is still being made, such that soon every man,
 woman, and child in the US will be completely equal.  Some blacks leaders
 are still hyper-aware of race issues, but they're often shunted aside as
 relics of the past.  Soon Martin Luther King JR's dream of an egalitarian
 society will come about, goes the refrain.

        Well, ladies and gentleman, it now falls to me to inform you that
 all of this high-minded rhetoric is bunk.  Complete hooey.  What's more, it
 is my gleeful duty to confirm all of your worst fears.  You see, as a
 member of the exclusive white-male club, I have a certain insider's
 perspective on this matter that no negroid has ever been privy to.  The
 fact of the matter is, we are still out to destroy you, and we are
 succeeding breezily.  Our machinations have, and are, working to keep the
 status quo intact.  The current condition of sub-saharan Africa represents
 one of our great triumphs, as does the condition of our own, 100% American
 slums.  Another great success of our little club is the condition of
 American prisons.  Also, taken in the context of our evil schema, it should
 be no surprise to anyone that racial profiling continues unabated in the
 White America.  American non-whites, for all their bluster about their
 marginal gains, are excerebrose, adventitious excrescences on the face of
 America, utilized mainly for menial tasks.  And to make us laugh.

        Sure, you may say, all of that being as it is, what about the
 tangible gains non-whites have made?  For example, Tiger Woods gracing the
 cover of 'white' Time Magazine.  Well, this is where our little story gets
 better, my little dumplings.  Most of you non-white readers who are aware
 of the information I've disclosed in the previous paragraph will not be
 surprised at my next little revelation.  This is that the blacks that seem
 to have penetrated the white system are, in fact, working for the whites.
 They're called house niggers, and me and my kind like them a lot.  Hell,
 that Tiger Woods, he might be an ignorant African booboisie, but he sure
 can whack a ball around on a green grass yard.  Besides which, all of the
 time he's spent fellating the cock of white Corporate America has paid off.
 When they jizm into his mouth, you see, the fertile, white fluid festers
 there, eventually deciding to rush to his brain.  Then, miscegenated
 thoughts spring roughshod from his precious little cranium, and we can
 perpetuate whatever sort of bullshit we want.  This essential pattern is
 repeated time and time again.  Black celebrities--hey, I have no problem
 with them.  Black revolution from this angle always gets hoist by its own
 petard; the softies sell out, and the hard-rocks OD on coke.  

        Right about now, I bet you little black n' brown dumplings are
 stewing in your juices.  And, on the flip side, I'd wager that my brethern
 in the White Male club are just as pleased as plums.  Well, I'm going to
 make them just as pleased as prize plumbs on a plate by emanating some more
 epiphanies.  Essentially, our club is very tight-knit.  We don't even have
 room for people with two X chromosomes, dig?  Oh, sure, women have made
 great progress, blah ze blah...let's get right to the meat of the argument.
 They're nothing but frail amphora, and subject to emotional vicissitudes in
 a way that makes them similar to a tug-boat getting knocked about in a
 tempest.  Abortion, the pill...I'm against all of that stuff.  What if one
 of the kids is a white-male?  The woman lives in a world-wide prison,
 subject to the whims of her white-male overlords, anyway, so why not apply
 that dynamic on the microscopic level?  (Of course, I have no objection to
 the under-evolved non-white females killing their zygotes, fetuses and
 embryos.)  Now, don't get me wrong, women have plenty of uses outside of
 bearing our young.  For example, they make excellent cooks, and they wash
 the dishes, too.  And don't forget that mighty negresses can plow the soil
 with the strength and approximate build of oxen.  But, even with all of
 these benefits, women sure as hell are -not- breaking into our exclusive
 club.

        And how is it that we stay so tight-knit?  Well, you know, we've
 just been together so long, it's almost instinct for all of us to repress
 all of you.  Truly, it's only inertia and our superior organization
 keeping us on top.  If all of you, black; brown; tan--fuck it, the whole
 spectrum, got together, you'd have no problem displacing us from our place
 at the top rung of the food-chain.  You could wage war in the streets.
 Hold black female marches. Point when a bunch of white males are in a
 place... heck, if you're Latino or Asian, make abrasive jokes about them in
 a language they don't understand while they're looking on, and laugh.
 Ridicule and marches alone won't topple our regime, of course, but the key
 is for y'all to start being unified and active.  If you keep up the
 pressure long enough, the top 10% is bound to fold like a chair.

        Suckers.  I suppose that some of you, reading the last paragraph,
 were simple enough to actually think that some sort of rainbow coalition
 could actually succeed against our organization.  Well, perhaps I should
 re-phrase that.  Because the truth is, it could, but it's not going to.
 You see, I'm much like a super-villain, revealing my plot to an impotent
 community... except for the fact that this is the real world, and not a
 propaganda story-book designed to make you think you can actually triumph,
 and so evil is going to prevail.  For the historically minded among you, I
 will point out that this is an exact re-enactment of the time when Eddie
 Murphy went incognito to reveal the White Male club, which he easily did,
 exposing to the world our bigoted bus-policies.  Fortunately, though, his
 warning was debuted on Saturday Night Live, a comedy program, causing it
 to be dismissed.  In a like manner, I will be dismissed--because hey, who's
 going to listen to *my* cajoling?  Though I might be a White Male, and as
 such imbued with some authority to speak on this topic, I'm also a silly
 e-zine writer.  I call myself "Nybar."  So you'll comfort yourself, and
 laugh, and then move on, and forget.  Facile defense made steadfast is
 memory.  Meanwhile, I'll stay in my post, nestled like an avian with
 functional wings presiding over a world of crippled, ground-dwelling slugs.
 And so it will remain.

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 [ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu       HOE #1089, BY NYBAR - 6/07/00 ]