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 $$$        [ HOE E-Zine #980 -- 12/18/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$$
 `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

	It's as if you are a piece of paper.  You're blank until someone
 writes on you and gives you direction.  Completely simple and a little
 boy in a man's body that has aged too fast for your mind to keep up.  Why
 don't you analyze this....

	You pretend to care how I feel when you have the energy and if
 not, you manipulate what I say and make a simple excuse for why things
 are going wrong.  Have you ever taken into consideration that it might be
 you?  You don't stare deeply into things and see life in the eyes of a
 creature.  Instead, you glance and don't question.  Your unadorned manner
 isn't enough to survive without shelter, but of course, you are unable to
 recognize that. Why don't you analyze this....

	Crossed out and vomiting on the floor, my body deflates to
 nothing.  I drink my tears and pick the scabs you left.  Not even God can
 hide these blemishes.  You want to be separate from creation so you
 swallow and snort.  Raising your hand for another round of one on one.
 You close my eyes for me, swollen and gapy.  I'm stone-blind with
 hide-bound fists.  I know you love me daddy, but we're over.  Stop
 fucking my innocence.

	The daylight fades into obscurity and I remain blotted out and
 swept under your waves.  I scrambled my heart and toasted my soul for
 you.  Served on a silver platter.  Watched as my brains splattered.
 Everyone who thinks I don't have any right to live, FUCK OFF!  I'm your
 baby, I'm your dish.  Grab a knife and let's dig in.  Tits and ass in my
 daddy's lap, hugging me gently and being sent to bed.  This isn't what I
 believe, it's what I know.  Mommy is down again, but there's still two
 rounds to go.

	One more drink and the family time is over. Walking on a wet floor
 and dead for weeks.  Handicapped and limp feels him with fury before he
 crumbles our world in a hurry.  Love your little boy unconditionally and
 dare to blend his colors.  Abandoned for weeks, checking each other up
 and down.  Thanks for shopping with us, please come back and see us
 again.  Please.  Please.  Please, daddy.  PLEASE.

	He crawls on top and rides her rainbow.  I'm forced to feel the
 pain.  Their story makes my world lonely with rain. Leave mommy alone and
 let me be a little girl again.  Blood stained concrete spells your name,
 but why do we pay for it?  Let me live daddy, FUCK OFF.  Shaking bones
 and jittery hands.  You lost all we had and now you want to return.
 Everything's not alright and I want my strength back.  Your world is
 different from ours.

	FUCK OFF, DADDY. FUCK OFF. Please. Please. Please, daddy. PLEASE.

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #980, BY CANNIBAL BUTTERFLY - 12/18/99 ]