[--------------------------------------------------------------------------] ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #584 `888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8 888 888 888 888 888 "THIS IS BULLSHIT" 888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 888 888 888 888 888 " THIS IS QUAREX 888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 4/21/99 o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ DISCLAIMER - THIS ARTICLE USES THE DEFAULT PRONOUN SHE, SINCE I AM A HETEROSEXUAL TRYING TO SCORE WITH THOUSANDS OF GIRLS. ] "Hmm. You know, I never thought about it before, but that girl is really cute. Damn, she is smart, too. I really do like her. Sigh. . . too bad nothing ever goes my way." "That guy is kinda cute. Maybe in a weird way, but he is kinda cute. . . and he always makes me laugh. I wonder if he has a girlfriend? Oh well. He probably does." So, Quarex, what is the point to this article? Simple. The point is, I am fairly certain that both men and women do indeed want relationships to a roughly equal degree. What they want out of them may be vastly different, but I cannot imagine the basic psychological and physiological need to have and to hold can be all that different between the sexes. Granted, spend a few weeks hanging out with me and you would think that girls want nothing more from guys than to hug them and kiss them on the cheek all the time, but this is not totally about me (only 99% about me). The above scenario represents a situation that is all too entirely possible, at least to normal people, who have lives vaguely similar to those represented on _My So Called Life_. My life is actually more similar to _The Simpsons_, so such situations may still happen, but I am certain to never notice them if they do occur. So, since I have already established that men and women both probably want something at least quasi-meaningful, why are situations like the above allowed to occur without the parties clearly expressing their interest in one another? Just think how much more wonderful the lives of both of the people above would be if, through some stroke of luck, they both suddenly got an incredible amount of guts, and each told the other what they were thinking? Suddenly, brief awkwardness aside, the dating possibility would open up, and it would go from wondering what it would be like if someone liked you, to realizing that someone does like you enough to try dating you. This might be elementary to all of you bastards, since all h0e writers aside from me are easily able to achieve a relationship. But think about it. How often do you think about possibly being together with someone you just know casually, or barely at all? Why not just go fucking tell the person what you are thinking, and hope that he or she is thinking the same thing? Worst case scenario, he or she thinks you are a freak, and stops talking to you. If he or she thinks that way after learning your thoughts, would you really have wanted to think that way about him or her in the first place? In hindsight: NO! So next fucking time you see that guy or girl in your English class who catches your eye and never lets it go, just say "HEY. I LIKE YOU. WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING." OR AT THE VERY LEAST, JUST START KISSING HER AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. SURELY NO MORE THAN FIVE YEARS IN JAIL CAN RESULT FROM THE HARASSMENT SUIT. This should be really applicable to absolutely everyone. I personally have felt this way about ten or so girls since last summer, and even I, the King of Cartoonish Rejection, thought at least two or three of the girls might have had a thing for me, however small. Hell, now I am even going to Prom with one of them*. You might think that means she would at some point have had a thought like the one above--but this is Quarex's life here, remember? Yeah. I suck. So next time you check out some guy or girl in one of your classes, just think to yourself. . . what have I got to fucking lose, huh? FUCK ADDENDUM: * I found out in the time between writing this article and releasing it that the girl who wants to go to Prom with me has, in fact, no interest in dating me. But DO NOT LET THAT DISCOURAGE YOU! *YOU* ARE NOT CURSED! [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #584 - WRITTEN BY: QUAREX - 4/21/99 ]