'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: =========================================== ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #484 !! #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !! ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: =========================================== ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Drivers Education" !! ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Caitlin !! ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 2/10/99 !! !!========================================================================!! Every Monday through Thursday, from 6:30 to 8:30 I experience what most would call "utter torture"... also known as Michigan's Driver Education Program. For two hours, our class sits, awaiting something interesting and new to happen, while trying every possible method to keep themselves, individually, from falling asleep. Now, this class wouldn't be that bad, but our teacher, all 500 lbs of him (literally)... well, _he's_ not a good thing. Everyday we listen to him ramble on horror stories of gruesome deaths, errors in driving, past students that are 'beautiful', and past "preppie" students, that he says are going to Harvard, and other 'top' schools now. And... you can hear the fat in his throat, gurgling around and choking his sentances and words off... I sit and tap my pen, alternate seating positions, play with my hair, or play drum beats of random songs with my feet. I'm a good student because I paid in full and I don't let anything slip out of my mouth, except sometimes a thank you. I just want to scream at him... "GET ON A FUCKING EXERCISE BIKE!" "QUIT EATING MCDONALDS EVERY GODDAMN DAY!" "WHY DON'T YOU _TEACH_?!" But I doubt that any of the students in my class would listen anyways. In between their little hidden clique talks, and under-the- -breath remarks about the teacher, they find time to open their text book and write down word-for-word answers onto the cheap copies of text book dittos made on a zerox machine, clearly from the mid-eighties. I stumble out of class each night, staring straight ahead, wiping my eyes in the hopes of waking up. !!========================================================================!! !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #484, WRITTEN BY: CAITLIN - 2/10/99 !!