'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #415 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
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  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Picking Your Ass in Public"             !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Anjee                              !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/10/99                                  !!
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        There is always at least one little thing that happens during
 the day, that no matter how minor it may be, is extremely annoying.
 These things happen to every single one of us, and we are always trying
 to find a way around them, attempting to avoid weird looks and crazy
 stares (well, most of us).  A not-so-special outing to the restaurant
 tonight inspired me to write this article, my sister thinks I am a
 psycho, but that's okay.  Because I am!

	Most of you must know how it feels like to be in the middle of a
 fast-food restaurant, getting ready to leave as the place is begining to
 fill up when suddenly, your underpants seemed to have lodged themselves
 in your asscrack.  You desperately try to ignore the violating feeling
 fearing what the others may think.  But why?  I say that you should just
 grab ahold of those uncomfortable panties and yank them right out of
 where they absolutely do not belong.  Every single person (except the
 little kids in Ethiopia, because they just wear torn shirts) does it,
 and you shouldn't feel ashamed for trying to rid yourself of the
 awkward feeling of having fabric that seems to have accomodated itself
 in your asscrack without any previous warnings.

        As to every rule, there is an exception...  like I said earlier,
 I believe it is very okay and normal to want to pull your panties out
 of your ass (or depending on the situation -- grabbing your bra to
 replace it), however, I also believe that this should be done subtlely.
 I was explaining to my sister that it would be totally wrong to
 violently pull those underpants while letting "UGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!@#!@$!"
 sounds escape from your mouth.  That is, unless you like attention -- a
 lot of it.

        There are many people who are afraid that they will be ridiculed
 for doing what I described above, but those who normally point and
 laugh are most often little 7 year old runts, so who cares?  Although
 if you were litterally picking dingleberries from out of your asshairs
 in the middle of the mall, I too, would laugh.  Not only would I laugh,
 I would laugh hysterically and begin rolling on the floor, turn bright
 red and convulse.  Either that or I would quickly make my way to the
 nearest garbage/washrooms to barf.

        In conclusion, everyone has a right to grab their asses, in
 public or in private as long as it is done it a not-so-noticable
 manner, unless you are at home, then it doesn't really matter.  It is
 YOUR right, unlike many other rights -- this one is kind of useful.  So
 go ahead, don't be afraid.

        GO RIGHT AHEAD AND PICK OUT THOSE LITTLE PANTIES!@

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 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!    HOE #415, WRITTEN BY: ANJEE - 1/10/99 !!