'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #389 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Electrifying Discoveries On Alcohol"    !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Anjee                              !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/28/98                                 !!
 !!========================================================================!!

	"You can get the same effect that you get from sticking your
 tongue in a plug than you do when you drink 50% alcohol."

	"Great, I feel like shoving my tongue in a plug now."

        I can't help it, but I really do.  The world practically revolves
 around sex and alcohol, and alcohol isn't something I can easily provide
 for myself, nor am I capable of tolerating the awful taste it leaves in
 my mouth after taking that dreaded shooter glass and even worse -- the
 next morning.  It all seems like the perfect solution for my case, but
 are the after effects as bad as when you drink liquor?  If I so
 violently ram my tongue into the plug in the wall on a regular basis,
 will my liver deteriorate after a while?  I believe scientists should
 conduct a few tests on this, and besides, I think it would look
 incredibly cool to see a few men and women in white coats crouched in
 front of the wall, ready to send electricity waves throughout their
 bodies.

	So, my dad's friend does in fact have some kind of expertise
 when it comes to alcohol, but I don't know if he actually tried it.  I
 forgot to ask him, I suppose.  The conversation itself didn't last all
 that long, as I quickly turned to ranting and raving about the book my
 father had bought me and showing him my sister's talking Elmo.
 Discarding questions such as "does it, too, make you walk all weird,
 feel dizzy and type all nutty on IRC?".  I felt that he would get fed
 up if I dwelled on the subject and pursued my smartassed comments and
 questions about a topic he obviously brought up to last for only a few
 seconds and hopefully extract a few laughs and giggles from it.  And
 besides, I don't believe he has any clue what IRC is.

	I also begun to wonder if Albert Einstein was researching on
 this subject, for obvious reasons. It all seems too coincidental since
 he was a smart dude and alcohol is not the way to come to accurate and
 precise solutions for whatever he would work on.  I think it's his
 hair that gives it away though.  So, possibilities are that he has
 researched on it, however, has refused to discuss and share his new
 discoveries with the world.  A breakthrough such as this would more
 than likely change how bars and clubs, and corner stores and strip
 joints and alcohol stores operated - they may even end up going out
 of business.  Houses would be filled with plugs, which would be
 extremely harmful for babies and toddlers, and other things along
 those lines.

	So all this newfound information has left me curious about it
 all, I am that kind of person. Maybe sticking your tongue in a plug is
 indeed the closest thing to downing a few shooters of 50% alcohol, but
 I feel my questions will forever remain unanswered and ignored. Although,
 if you ever end up testing this, please inform me! I am eager to get some
 answers! In addition, I feel pressured to add that I am not responsible
 for any deaths or handicaps that come as a result to reading this
 t-file.  I feel like I am getting extremely repetitive, so I will now
 disappear for the sake of your mental and physical well-being.

	uh, *BZZZZT*... YAY!#%$ 

 !!========================================================================!!
 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!      #389 - WRITTEN BY: ANJEE - 12/28/98 !!