'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: =========================================== ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #362 !! #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !! ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: =========================================== ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Manic Depression" !! ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Phairgirl !! ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/19/98 !! !!========================================================================!! you know-- you've known for a long time-- that you have a clear perception of reality. nothing matters in this world. you realized long ago that there's no explanation that could ever convince you that there is a god... that there is any kind of higher being. you've seen life. and you know that you control your own destiny. so this is why you hate yourself. nothing changes. the world is still full of the same shit that has always existed. people don't change. you run into the same assholes everywhere you go. you don't change. you're still the same worthless nothing floating in a world of worthless everything, and it all matters, maybe too much. and the next day, suddenly everything is too slow. you can't move fast enough. everything is funny. everything YOU DO is funny. you're unstoppable. you're CONVINCED that the gorgeous long-haired guy online wants you just as much as you want him. you make a complete ass out of yourself, but it's a wonderful thing. you are a MINOR GOD! then you hear him talking to a different girl and not replying as quickly to your messages. no longer are you perfect; suddenly, all you do is wrong. you find yourself right back where you began. you cry over meaningless messages sent by friends in jest. you agonize over the easiest tasks and torture yourself over your stupidity. and when the day ends, and you try to create dreams for yourself as you fall asleep, suddenly the world is a little brighter. you know what's wrong with you. you know there's medication out there for people like you, people who can't handle daily life for no reason at all. but your fucking lame-ass job doesn't have benefits, and you can't get benefits until you're promoted. but you can't get promoted if you keep acting this way. day number three begins, and once again, you can't seem to stop yourself. you're hot shit, baby. everything you do is cool. everything you say is cool. everyone else is a wasted, watered-down pile of nothing. you shout insults at innocent passers-by because they pissed you off for looking at you cockeyed. they throw their pepsi at you, and you're back to self-loathing and the neverending feeling of wanting to die. welcome to my world. how sexy am i now, fucker? !!========================================================================!! !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #362, WRITTEN BY: PHAIRGIRL - 12/19/98 !!