'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: =========================================== ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #350 !! #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !! ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: =========================================== ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "The Origin of Euphoria" !! ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> AnonGirl !! ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/16/98 !! !!========================================================================!! "Mom!! I saw the Easter Bunny come and leave our baskets for us last night!" "Sure you did, honey, sure you did." "No I swear! He was there!" "I know, dear." Fact is, the kid really DID see the Easter Bunny last night. Many people have called me insane for the theory I'm about to present, but fuck 'em, cause I believe it. Don't worry, it's very okay not to believe what I'm going to say, because in "reality", it does sound entirely ridiculous. This is really just one of my not-so-intelligent conspiracy theories I made up when I was 16, probably stoned out of my mind. Children are baked. You see, when a child is conceived, there's a certain chemical mixture that occurs inside the womb. Depending on what food and drink the mother consumes, and if she drinks alcohol, does drugs, or smokes cigarettes during her pregnancy, the child can be anywhere from slightly buzzed to baked off of their asses. If Mom eats strange foods and ingests a lot of caffeine, the kid'll be 'kinda feelin it' until age 9 or 10. However, if Mom is a former wild child and takes in all sorts of booze and cigarettes, the kid will be tripping hard until they're about 11 or 12. That's why some kids tend to be more creative and imaginative than others. The kids who lose their buzz by 9 or 10 also lose a good percentage of their imagination. If Mom was a druggie while pregnant, it's a high chance she'll have a Ritalin kid, which are the kids who are so completely wrecked that they can't even control themselves; they can't grip reality. They're pretty much screwed until 13 or 14. "Daddy! There's a monster under my bed! It's going to eat me!" "Har, har, son! What a wild imagination you've got!" "NO DAD SERIOUSLY!#!@! IT'S GONNA GET ME! HE'S REAL!!" The dialogue above is a prime example of the oh-so-common "Bad Trip". Everyone has them, you can't avoid them, not now, and not then. The terrifying feelings of paranoia sink in very well, especially when you're high and alone in a dark place. I've bad tripped several times during classroom video or slide show presentations. But as soon as I made it to the hallway, I'd be fine, just as the kid who's afraid of the monster coming to get him from under his bed is okay once the light is turned on. Most people wish they could return to their childhoods. Really, if we weren't all baked back then, would we really have bought the idea of a jolly fat man in a red suit sliding down our chimneys (even if some of us lived in apartments) and leaving us all these awesome toys under a pine tree covered in *cOoL sPaRkLy ThInGs* and shiney balls?? Or some old lady coming in who collects TEETH from under our pillows? Or a gigantic bunny (which, to me, is terrifying) hiding baskets of chocolate eggs and other candies in our homes? And what about that whole thing about this God guy up in the sky who created everything and lives in the clouds?? What's up with THAT?! I respect religion though, don't get me wrong. Naturally, one's first thought when their buzz is slowly coming down, is 'I need to get more!!'. So, when the buzz starts coming down, we bring it up again by manually filling the emptying holes in our souls with "illegal narcotics" so we can try and go back to our childhoods once again. Unfortunately, with the invention of science, came madmen (they've always been around, but for some odd reason a hell of a lot of them tend to steer towards science.. trust me..). These madmen kept on asking 'What if?' and would increase the dosages and types of drugs around, leaving them addictive, extremely hallucogenic, and even harmful. But that's not the reason why all of these Partnerships and cops are pushing for a Drug-Free America, no, no. Considering the governments don't want the free world to be HAPPY, they must rid the world of these "harmful drugs", to ensure public misery. Canadian cigarette packs (which provide AWESOME filter cardboard), Pixie Sticks and Alice in Wonderland were made for a reason! Okay, so I'm crazy. Shoot me. The next time you're wondering why your childhood memories have become "hazy", think about it. :) !!========================================================================!! !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #350 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 12/16/98 !!