$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #190 $$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt. $$$$P $$$$ x$$$$ $$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$. $$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$ $$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$' $$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P' $$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %% $$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %% >> "Hume Tickles Me" << by -> MoonBagel ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would like to introduce this paper by stating three things quite simply. First, this is quite possibly the stupidest move I have ever made in my "scholastic career." Second, this class landed at bad time for me -- it managed to conveniently coincide with a fun-filled period of existential angst. ("Katie, you have more angst than anyone I know" -- my mother over Christmas Eve dinner, December 24, 1997). Finally, this is the first time in well over a year I have felt truly inspired. With these things in mind, I proceed: While I have tremendously enjoyed being a part of this class, occasionally contributing a little insight or any of a number of inane comments and listening to those of others, I feel compelled to admit that I do not have any impenetrable, or even defendable, opinions regarding the vast majority of the topics we have covered in this class. There were concepts and excerpts which did touch me profoundly. I was doing some final reviewing on the afternoon of the 13th, and it was those pieces that stuck out in my mind above all others, and those which stick with me as I type this paper. The prompt given for this final was "Explain your point of view concerning major philosophical issues studied in this class." I intend to do so. I realize fully that what follows is not what was intended when the assignment was given, but as I started to type the original draft of my paper, I realized this was going to be yet another entry in the long line of BS papers I have written for a huge number of classes over the course of the past few years. It occurred to me that this was NOT what I needed to be writing to fulfill what I consider to be goal of this final. If nothing else, this assignment begged brutal honesty, and that is what I offer as opposed to my usual steady stream of bullshit. I cannot begin to verbalize the adrenaline rush I felt when I realized this was my big, bright, shiny, sparkling, glowing chance to write honestly and feel completely justified. Regardless of my grade, I will come away feeling fulfilled, knowing that on this occasion I was not just playing a game with my teacher and that I wrote something that I can take pride in. At the beginning of the semester we read Plato's Apology. It floored me, as does most any writing that involves a person standing up, unfailing, for something that is Right or Just. One thing that bothers me most about the generation I am a part of is that the vast majority of us have nothing we are willing to stand up for. To see that strength elsewhere is immensely reassuring to me when I wonder if there is any hope that we will ever even resemble virtuous people. Reading that passage over is a large part of the reason I decided to complete this assignment as I am. While a final paper for one class in high school is fairly insubstantial compared with Socrates dying for his personal belief system, I keep in mind the Emperor Marcus Aurelius stating and restating that our Virtue is something we should prize, and we should never tarnish it by doing anything that is not right. My little duct-taped copy of The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius is another thing that affected me deeply throughout this semester. I plan on purchasing the book very soon after turning in my class copy, and along with that, my journal will keep me in touch with what I initially felt when I read his words. Attitude is everything -- if a task or an obstacle is set in your path, a negative attitude will not help you to continue your journey. I often recall what Aurelius wrote about Maximus in the fifteenth entry of Book 1 -- "no man could ever think that he was despised by him." I believe I could be a truly content person if, in old age, I could look back on my life and be assured that no man ever thought himself despised by me. I typed out the first entry in Book 2 and keep it in my room as a reminder that in every day of my life, I will meet people with unimaginable differences, and I must learn to deal constructively, and hopefully kindly, with each. I do not have to agree with someone to respect them, or to simply tolerate them. I was reminded that sadly, people are generally compelled to grasp at the most insignificant, fleeting, insubstantial abstracts in their lives and become ardently attached to their accumulated material wealth. I was simultaneously reminded that I am capable of transcending that... well, perhaps I will not be able to transcend it entirely (as I am human), but I can keep at the forefront of my waking thoughts the importance of family, Love, Virtue, and Honor. As I age, and even in my youth, I will bear in mind that death is a part of the life cycle and is inevitable; I should not fear death, rather, I should accept its inevitably and move forward with my life through the time in which I do have control. The simplicity of life is important -- too much is lost in the overbearing spectacle some men shape their lives into. Nature does not oppose itself, as that is unnatural. The idea that we ultimately are the same material as the soil, an oak tree, or the star Alpha Centauri is quite humbling. Each creature is born of the death of another. I was very impressed by Immanuel Kant's astoundingly logical discussions involving the hypothetical and categorical imperatives and sense of duty. They appear to be workable and effective in practice -- virtually every mentally stable person can agree on such categorical imperatives as "murder is wrong." Though it has been said that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions," I prefer Kant's "without the principles of good will this may become evil indeed." There is a huge gap between intentionally killing someone and accidentally killing someone, one that is certainly worthy of note. If it provides nothing else, taking the time to ask whether a decision is one you would be comfortable fully shouldering the blame for and if you would be comfortable if that decision was echoed throughout the world gives you time to thoroughly think through a choice. Differentiating between profound concerns and relatively trivial ones through the hypotheticals and categoricals is also valuable. Plato's Cave struck me, as well. It can takes one's previously infallible sense of what is real, and flip it around, kick it and poke at it a little, and leave you with a new, perhaps unsettling, perspective. It gives a profound twist to the phrase, "food for thought." After I first read this allegory on one of the first days of this semester in my Language Arts class, the concept of our lives being controlled by puppeteers manipulating shadows proceeded to dance about in my head for the rest of the day, and a number of days after. Whether this is taken in a political sense or a more religious one, the perspective it provides is invaluable. The next time I see "fish" spelled "ghoti" I will be reminded of Russell and Wittgenstein, and how they had far to much time on their hands. They made reasonable points -- it is impossible to know precisely what another person is attempting to express when you speak with them. However, I feel that is one of the beauties of speech and language. The vagueness of some words and the intricacies of others smack me around on a daily basis. The Metaphysical unit of this course intrigued me the most by far. Until I was about thirteen years old, my various religious education teachers at St. Therese were thoroughly convinced that I would become a nun one day -- "she sure knows her religion!" Apparently I was getting to know the Catholic Church a little too intimately for the tastes of some. After my teachers tired of my incessant questioning and I was shouted at on more than once occasion to "Stop asking questions! You shouldn't be questioning your religion. You are supposed to have faith!" From that point on, direct participation in organized religion left me with a repugnant taste in my mouth. I still remain fascinated by it, however -- the culture surrounding some of our world's long-standing faiths, as well as the dogma that is at their roots. I am not able to make these dogmas my own, however. I have remained a devout agnostic since I was thirteen years old, through threats of "you're going to go to hell!" and friends' not-always-subtle attempts to convince me to convert to their various faiths, from Aquinas's proofs of the existence of God to Anselm's ontological argument and Aristotle's unmoved mover. I have no fact-based, logical argument prepared for when I state my disagreement with their conclusions and explanations. All I can say is that I feel spirituality should be and, in fact, is an intensely personal experience, and not a choice that results from incessant exterior pressure. I simply cannot believe in God by playing the statistics -- 75% odds that a belief in God will save my soul from suffering eternal damnation or simply not waste my time is not a compelling reason to believe. Hume tickled me. I am not sure how else I could express Hume's effect on me. He tickled me. While he made strong points which are worthy of consideration, I an incapable of taking him seriously. Perhaps he was not taking his ideas seriously, either. Maybe he merely did not exist. Perhaps the Hume argument is worth utilizing the next time I want to hear a band or artist that is performing at the numerous establishments in Kansas City/Weston/Westport/Lawerence areas that serve alcohol, and therefore will not allow a minor through their doors -- "I don't exist! You can't prove I exist! Just try to keep me out." Unfortunately, I will probably be sobered somewhat when Big Mr. Door Man uses physical force to remove me from the premises. Ah well -- it looked good in theory. Hume's tickling kept my thoughts careening about inside my head for a number of days. It is entirely possible that I do not exist! Hume created opportunities for brainstorms I never dreamt I would be part of. I thought for well over a week about Hume's arguments and realized that I am not able to craft a reasonable rebuttal. His statements, as ridiculous as they may read, stand. Sure, I still think I exist -- but what evidence do I, personally, need to accept that "fact"? For the time being, I will trust in my senses to guide me. I learned a great deal about Marxism which my thoroughly Americanized, "Communism = EVIL!" mind had not been exposed to previously. I still maintain that Marxism is a lovely system, in theory. If the evolution of his dialectical materialism had been allowed to progress normally, perhaps we could have had 45+ years of peace instead of the nuclear arms race and Star Wars. I can relate to the problem of man's alienation from his work when he has little control over it, and recognize the maddening exploitation in the primal communal, slave, feudal, and capitalist societies. Perhaps if they had not been so greedy... but, ah! there is the problem. It seems to be impossible to implement a man-made system and have it work to the point where it can fulfill the boldest idealists' dreams. Human drives are indestructible, and it is those most natural of tendencies which cause the most mechanical and artificial of systems to crumble. In the end it was Tolstoy's My Confession who affected me most intensely. He too suffered an existential crisis: "My life came to a standstill....The truth was that life was meaningless. It was as though I had been living and walking along, and had come to an abyss, where I saw clearly that there was nothing ahead but perdition.... "...I did not know myself what it was I wanted: I was afraid of life, strove to get away from it, and, at the same time, expected something from it." In many cases I found his words to be intensely familiar. He lived a seemingly perfect life -- he had money, an education, respect. I have many advantages -- I am well-liked by most (so far as I know), I have a supportive and close family, and that elusive “potential.” Regardless, I do not have all the answers, nor will I pretend to. I must take my time to be pensive and ponder. About those issues which I have neglected to discuss in this paper, well, all I have to offer is a “maybe next time?” coupled with a shrug. I expect to have to re-read all of my books in the near future to exercise my newly-gained philosophical perspective. My summer will be filled going over and over the Meditations, and perhaps reading The Apology once again, to give me strength in the face of apathy, indifference, and ignorance. A large block of time will be spent creeping around bookstores in search of writings by Nietzsche, Hume, Marx, Kierkegaard, Sartre, and especially Tolstoy. When I read Sophie's World again, it will be an entirely different experience than when I first read it. I have perspective! I may not have been able to make the most out of this course while I was a part of it, and I am saddened that I could not bring myself to take full advantage of it, but I refuse to let my mind atrophy further by letting that which I did ingest drift away. This paper will remain with me in the future, and will, in all likelihood, suffer through revisions at the mercy of my confused, questing adolescent brain. Hey, just think -- you could be holding a burst of brilliance in your hand. After dozens of revisions, this could be my masterpiece. Or maybe it won't be. At any rate: Though my continued reading will not appear on a progress report, nor will it be fit for mention on a college application, that which I have learned and will learn will know no confines, and that, ultimately, is what is truly important. What is my point of view concerning major philosophical issues studied in this class? It is still evolving. "I don't know." That is my honest answer. --- Comments from my teacher: [ What on earth is wrong with this? It's insightful, honest, covers at least 80% of what we talked about, is beautifully written and shows a keen understanding of major issues. I'm proud of you for finally turning something in to me that shows your "potential" as "actuality." Most of what you've done this term has seemed sort of "last minute." I'm sure this was, too, but your intellect has allowed you to burst the bubble of indifference. Maybe a hair short, and with an unnecessary apologetic opening -- excellent work. 275/300 -- A] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- * (c) HoE publications. HoE #190 -- written by MoonBagel -- 1/19/98 *