$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #160 $$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt. $$$$P $$$$ x$$$$ $$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$. $$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$ $$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$' $$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P' $$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %% $$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %% >> "2599 Unlimited" << by -> 2599 (which basically includes Murmur, Mogel, Jamesy, Vanir, Tao, and for some unknown reason Graywolf) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now it is time to expose the plot. In 1747, the mystical treasure of the pirate Stanislaususus was lost at sea. A map was recovered in 1818. It was burned. A small child found the treasure in 1979. How is unimportant. Indiana is the setting. It is stolen from the museum in upstate New York. I have it. No, I don't. Anyway, there is enough destru --- my brakes don't work. I have my mom's car now. It has a neat thing that unlocks the doors by itself. I almost died on the way home from school because I couldn't stop. It was neat. --- i used to wonder a long time ago why all the really good video games had nothing to do with sex. then i figured it out. it's because sex games are really boring. then i played "type o negative: the fighting edition". And I wasn't surprised to find out that when you played as Peter Steele, you always won. And the question of who would win if two Peter Steele's fought is irrelevant. Nobody would be so stupid as to program a game in which that question would be answered, because everybody knows there's only room enough for one Peter Steele. That game's really not about sex. --- i like to watch the goth people who wander by, all sullen and depressed. and i like to ask them, "hey, what's your problem, mister?" "are you all dead inside?" "paper or plastic?" "do you like to eat chicken?" And finally, when they're at my throat, thirsting for the sight of my blood frothing forth from my jugular so they can do that blood drinky thing some of them do or maybe not if they're not that kind of goth, i like to remove their hands gently from my throat and say, "hey hey now you've got something to live for". most of them still don't know what the hell i'm talking about. --- little johnny was used to getting his way. ever since he was little, his mother could never get him to do anything she wanted, and he'd always throw a temper tantrum, even into his early teens. his mother tried bribing him with everything she could think of: toys, food, money, and she was even contemplating drugs because she was a really bad mother and had connections most mothers don't. but anyway, one day they were at the mall and johnny's mom wanted him very badly not to hit the little children as they walked by and he wouldn't and would cry and then draw his arm back powerfully before delivering a crushing blow to the skull of yet another child, relishing the "thwap" noise of his fist striking their delicate cranium, and then crying and whining so his mother would finally shut the fuck up. and then he was about to do it again, much to the disdain of his mother, who tried again and again to get him to stop because she was anal, and then they heard the deepest, most melodious voice either of them had ever heard. and johnny, for the first time in his life, said "ok mom". and kept on walking. and finally johnny's mom had found something to bribe johnny with. from then on, when johnny's mom wanted Johnny to do something, she'd just pop in a type o tape in this cheesy walkman, and put headphones on johnny. it's a good thing johnny was too stupid to get a job and buy a walkman and a type o tape he could use for himself or else his mom would really have been fucked. --- i still insist that black francis is going to hell. the past year's events have reassured me, at least, that he won't be lonely. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- * (c) HoE publications. HoE #160 -- written by 2599 -- 12/17/97 *