GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e , I n c o r p o r a t e d Presents: __ __ 888888888 55555555555 _____ ____ _| |__| |_ 888 888 55 // | \ |_ __ _| 888 888 55 || ____ | || | | | | | 888888888 5555555555 || || \ / | || | _| |__| |_ 888 888 5555 \\___// \/\/ |____/ |_ __ _| 888 888 555 |__| |__| 888 888 55 5555 888888888 555555555 "Poetry" and "Why I Hate Poetry" by Grandmaster Ratte' ----- GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime ***** Issue #85 ----- ----- release date: 01-03-01 ***** ISSN 1523-1585 ----- First, a cartoon: Sometimes I Juggle o Sometimes I Don't o O\ o_O/ /| | o o/ \ o / \ - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- - -+- "My Poetry" -+- "No Comment" I HAVE NO COMMENTS, I JUST REPORT THE FACTS. I HAVE NO OPINIONS, I JUST EAT EX-LAX. I HAVE NO VIEWPOINT, I JUST WEAR CASUAL DRESS SLACKS. ----- "Space Invaders" PLEASE CURE ME OF MY... MY... MY SPACE INVADERS ADDICTION! SPACE INVADERS HEY WOW NEAT MAN SPACE INVADERS SELL MY GRANDMA FOR A CHANCE TO PLAY SPACE INVADERS STRANGLE THE LIFE FROM YOUR NECK WITH MY BARE FINGERS FOR AN EXTRA SHIP IN SPACE INVADERS BASTARD CHILDREN WILL NOT SEE THE SUN RISE ON ANOTHER DAY FOR 25 CENTS IN A SPACE INVADERS WHUMP. WHUMP. WHUMP. WHUMP. SPACE INVADERS YOU WILL KNOW THIS SOUND. SPACE INVADERS ----- "The Many Moods of My Penis: A Collection" HERE'S A NEW HAIKU I AM WRITING ABOUT MY PENIS. I HOPE YOU LIKE MY POEM. MY PENIS IS DUMB IT CANNOT THINK AT ALL, NO UNEMPLOYABLE HERE'S ANOTHER, LIKE PART 2 OR SOMETHING: MY PENIS IS NUMB IT CANNOT MOVE AT ALL, NO FLACCID AND USELESS AND PART 3, I AM LIKE ROLLING ON A ROLL, HERE, YES PENIS, PENIS, WOW YOU ARE SO HAPPY TODAY YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE THIS COLLECTION IS CALLED "THE MANY MOOODS OF MY PENIS" BY KPND (C)1994 RATTE' ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY MY WORK AND DO BAD THINGS WITH IT. ----- "Gamer" GAMER rhymes with LAMER. ho ho ho. It also rhymes with LION TAMER. I am the LION TAMER, a SUCKER MAIMER, drinking all the juice from my CARROT STRAINER... - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- - -+- "Why I Hate Poetry" -+- I get nervous hearing bad poetry, I was literally squirming in my chair [when watching a poetry reading] and yelling at the TV, "He said 'harlequin'! That pretentious little shit said 'harlequin'! Put away your damn thesaurus!" I was watching it over at Franken Gibe's and he said, "I want a new peer group." What a rad comment. That's the problem with poetry, and stuff that people decide to group as "high culture" in general, is that it gets lotsa extra things stuck on it. Like people try to dress up a simple concept like, "I dug this chick but then she split, so now I'm sad," with a buncha cliche'd images about beaches and sunsets and big words that you only use for the SAT. 'Cause they think that's the way it's supposed to be done. Or insisting on making things connected to this retro '60s thing, or worse, a beatnik '50s thing like 10 or 20 years before you were even born. And then people are always getting some romanticized notion about "the good old days" and this retro business is just the same old shit. There's some thing really messed up about being barely 20 and wishing desperately you'd been born earlier 'cause some movie or magazines say it was like denial or something. It's 2000, rip off the past, drop bombs in the future, say what you mean, check yerself before you wreck yerself, blah blah blah now let's get out there and win one for the gipper. ----------------------------------------------------------- GwDweb: http://www.GREENY.org/ GwD Publications: http://gwd.mit.edu/ ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/ GwD BBSes: C.H.A.O.S. - http://chaos.GREENY.org/ Snake's Den - http://www.snakeden.org/ E-Mail: gwd@GREENY.org * GwD, Inc. - P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas 79490 * -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Sucker MCs should call me Sire." - Run DMC, "King of Rock" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -+- F Y M -+- GR33NY LIK3S mash3d p0tat03s MORE THAN FIVE YEARS of ABSOLUTE CRAP! /---------------\ copyright (c) MM Grandmaster Ratte' :PRIME THE PUMPS: copyright (c) MM GwD Publications/GwD, Inc. : GwD : All rights reserved \---------------/ GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD85