GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e , I n c o r p o r a t e d Proudly Presents: TTTTTTTTTT HHH HHH EEEEEEEEEE T TTTT T HHH HHH EEEEEEEEEE __ __ TTTT HHH HHH EEE ____ //\\ //\\ ___ ____ TTTT HHHHHHHHHH EEEEEE // \\ || `|' || | __| _ |_ _| TTTT HHHHHHHHHH EEEEEE /| ||==|| || || ||_ // \\ || TTTT HHH HHH EEE || || || |/ \| ||__ \\ || TTTT HHH HHH EEEEEEEEEE ||__ |/ \| ` ' |___| `\\ \| TTTTTT HHH HHH EEEEEEEEEE |___| ` ' \\_// ' EEEEE tt tt fff ii lll E tt tt ff ff ii ll EEEE V V tt tt ff ll E V V tttttt eeeee xx xx tttttt ffffff iiii ll eeeee EEEEE V V EEEEE tt eee eee xx xx tt ff ii ll eee eee V V E tt ee ee xxx tt ff ii ll ee ee V EEEE RRRRR tt eeeeeee x tt ff ii ll eeeeeee E RR RR tt ee xxx tt ff ii ll ee EEEEE RRRRR tt tt eee eee xx xx tt tt ff ii ll eee eee RR RR ttt eeeee xx xx ttt ffff iiii llll eeeee RR RR ________________________________________________________________ .AKA.AK\ The Lamest Textfile Ever, Also Muthafuckin' Known as GwD#100 /KA.AKA. .AKA.AKA.\ La Feuille Du Texte La Plus Stupide Dans Le Monde, Qui /.AKA.AKA. .AKA.AKA.AK\____S'appelle_Aussi_La_Centieme_Publication_de_GwD____/KA.AKA.AKA. GGGGGG DDDDD 111 000000 000000 GGGGGGGG DDDDDD 1111 00000000 00000000 GGGG GGGG DDD DDD 11111 0000 0000 0000 0000 GGG GGG DDD DDD 111111 000 000 000 000 GGG DDD DDD __ __ 1111 000 000 000 000 GGG DDD DDD _| |__| |_ 1111 000 000 000 000 GGG DDD DDD |_ __ _| 1111 000 00 000 000 00 000 GGG GGGGG DDD DDD | | | | 1111 000 00 000 000 00 000 GGG GGGGG ww w ww DDD DDD _| |__| |_ 1111 000 00 000 000 00 000 GGG GGG ww www ww DDD DDD |_ __ _| 1111 000 000 000 000 GGG GGG ww ww ww ww DDD DDD |__| |__| 1111 000 000 000 000 GGG GGG wwww wwww DDD DDD 1111 000 000 000 000 GGGG GGGG ww ww DDD DDD 1111 0000 0000 0000 0000 GGGGGGGG DDDDDD 1111111111 00000000 00000000 GGGGGG DDDDD 1111111111 000000 000000 ----- GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime ***** Issue #100 ----- ----- release date: 05-25-01 ***** ISSN 1523-1585 ----- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- Well, here it is. #100. Big fucking deal. Other e-zines get past this point within a year. It's taken us eight. Why? Because we're fucking lame, that's why. Anyway, here's the deal with this issue: there's lots of shit in it, it's super-huge. It's complete with nude ASCII-pics and lots of references to BBS stuff that won't mean much to people who weren't there. If you hunt, you might find something that applies to you. Well, it's super huge and won't ever be completely read by most people. Maybe that's due to the lack of a Table of Contents, or maybe that's just because nobody ever reads this stuff regardless of if it's categorized or not. Anyway, check it: ................................................................................ DISCLAIMER: This textfile does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; you may distribute this message freely but you may not make a profit from it; terms are subject to change without notice; illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this message is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; message is provided "as is" without any warranties; reader assumes full responsibility; an equal opportunity message; no shoes, no shirt, no message; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this message could be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician; message are ribbed for your pleasure; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply. ................................................................................ Uhh, we stole that disclaimer from somewhere, but that just about covers it, other than the fact that not all instructions apply to all models. Yeah. --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -= GREENY world DOMINATION - Reflections On an Acronym, Eight Years Later =- Perhaps it's not an acronym at all..."gwd" is a Welsh word meaning "twist" or "turn." Interesting, given the title of our e-zine. ----- "GREENY" by Lobo Licious Who the hell is the GREENY person anyway? We've established that He's not the fellow we originally claimed...so who is He? This, my dr00gs and dr00gettes, is the Question of the Ages. It is said that He was born (or will be born; we are unsure if He yet exists...perhaps our charge is merely to prepare the world for His coming) in or near the 'city' of Gruene, Texas. He will be a Man, yet He will be from Grene, so He shall also be More than a Man. Regardless of the form He takes or the Body he occupies, He *will* be reluctant to rule this planet. Thus, GwD must force Him into figurehead status and rule in His stead as Regents. Such is the Plan of Grene, She who is Most High and Mighty and She who lives to dispense the Lovin'. GREENY loves the world and its environment (why else would His Mother have inspired our organization to Dominate it?) and despises polluters and defilers. The Green Jihad shall come to those who oppose. FEAR THE GREEN JIHAD, BLASPHEMER, LEST YOU FACE ITS WRATH! GREENY hates you. Face it, you're nothing special, and He knows it. You are a worthless pile of slime, as far as He's concerned. Unless you give lots and lots of money to the cause. Then, He will see you as a useful pile of slime. Actually, His opinion of you won't change, but our's will, and since He's a figurehead, He really doesn't matter. Did I say that? GREENY hates me. He thinks I smell funny. GREENY hates GwD and everything for which we stand. Take over the world in His name? "Poppycock!" exlaims GREENY at such a laughable notion. GREENY hates GREENY; He simply does not want to be Emperor and He hates Himself for having such a destiny. GREENY is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and the Omega (He is also everything in the Middle, the Gamma, the Delta, the Epsilon, etc.) He is ALL THINGS, and yet, He is NOTHING. He is NOT the Buddha. He is NOT Jesus. He is NOT "Bob." He is GREENY. GREENY, damn you, GREENY. Nothing more, nothing less. Set your standards low, my friends. Expect little and you will not be disappointed. Thus it is, thus it was, and thus it shall be. Praise be to Grene. Amen. And a-women. ----- "world" by Bob the Master of the World The "world" in "GREENY world Domination" must be understood correctly if the phrase in which it is embedded is to be understood correctly. However, the term is problematic, bearing a number of different meanings. Perhaps "meanings" suggests an ambiguity that does not really exist in the term; "spheres of application," though awkward, may be more appropriate. The basic sense, in which the "world" is equated with Earth, is only one denotation of the term. "World" is also used to mean everything that comes with the ken of human knowledge; consequently, the moon is part of our "world," "world" being here conceived in a fundamentally humanistic sense. Expanding the reference of the term to its logical limits, metaphysics construes the phrase "the world" as denoting the "totality of facts" and "all that is the case," as Wittgenstein puts it in the opening lines of _Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus_. However, the term also has denotations that are far reduced in scope. "World" is often employed as the totality of a particular field or sphere of life. For example, we often speak of the "world of movies," the "world of science," "the world of prisons," "the world of Droogies," and so on. "World" can also refer to the totality of an individual's consciousness, a phrase we commonly attach to those individuals who deviate so drastically from the rest of society that they are said to reside in a "world of their own." Jean-Paul Sartre meditates on the disintegration of the individual world by the intrusion of other consciousnesses in Being and Nothingness: "The appearance of the Other in the world corresponds therefore to a fixed sliding of the whole universe, to a decentralization of the world which undermines the centralization which I am simultaneously effecting." In other words, the presence of the Other forces onto the individual the knowledge that the world is not his world, that it does not exist solely within the confines of his consciousness. Ideology has as its target this "world" of the individual in its attempt to force the individual into its world. Which "world" does GwD wish to Dominate? Well, the very fact that the term is written in lower case would suggest that GwD aims to Dominate the denotations of the term that are smaller in scope. Of course, this suggestion is consonant with the ideological nature of GwD, an organization that has consistently placed thought above action. ----- "DOMINATION" by Seth the Man People have two roles in life, Dominator and submissive... Aww yeah, it's "The End of Death:" Redd (dba Death) has had a false domination over the living for a long time (not forever, but for some time before "modern" society)...It's created all the bad things in the world out of fear...all 'evils' stem from a fear of death... Anyway, GwD will turn this around. Life will Dominate Death. "After Death was lost, humanity entered an eternity of celebration, and much was dominated." And, yay, the word is "lost" and not "destroyed" or "killed" or anything like that...(cuz there's an obvious paradox in "killing", not that I mind paradoxes, we couldn't call ourselves a religion without paradoxes but at any rate, we can't say Death (Redd) died, because there has to be some Redd in reality to balance it all out...yeah. I'm rambling.) Bleah. Anyway, just some thoughts I had on the way to work this morning. I think Domination has always been a part of religion, and that we are probably the first to openly admit it.. Submit to Grene...or even better...Grene is ready for her spanking... oi. That's bad. --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- <- USELESS STATISTICAL NONSENSE ABOUT THIS ISSUE AND GwD IN GENERAL -> 25 = # of hours spent compiling this issue 11379 = # of lines in this issue 65824 = # of words in this issue, as counted by Microsoft Word 480143 = # of characters in this issue, including spaces 324701 = # of characters in this issue, excluding spaces 19 = # gallons of beer consumed by GwD members during the compilation of this issue 8 = # of years the stuff in this issue spans 5 = # of people who contributed logs/archives of stuff for this issue (they are Diamondback, Jaffo, Bob the Master of the World, Ratt Fink, and Lobo Licious) 13 = # of BBSes (some of) this stuff came from (they are CHAOS, The Snake's Den, Demon Roach Underground, Psycho's Chiropractic Institute, Neuorchic's Biker Slut Haven, Off World Colony, Static Line, The Pirate's Cove, Starchy White Boy (SWaB), Club Baby Seal (cbs), / X2 then begin; M := (Y2 - Y1) / (X2 - X1); writeln('Slope = ',M:8:2); B := Y1 - M * X1; writeln('Y-Intercept = ',B:8:2); writeln; writeln; writeln(' As you can see, this program is really useful. Heh.'); writeln; writeln(' copyright (c) 1994 by Lobo and GwD Inc. La-dee-dah. 8-)'); writeln(' ************ GwDwarez, the Wave of the Future! ************'); end; end. ----- "file_id.diz from GwD_2.ZIP" by Seth The Man, 1994 Release number 2 from GwD Incorporated. Give a choice of running certain commands or not in a batch file. Long Live Greeny --- "Documentation for GwD_2.EXE" by Seth The Man, 1994 _________ _______ ______ ///______-_ | \ / \ /// -_| | ___ | / /---/ / /// | | \ | / / / / /// | | | | \/ / / /// ____ __ __ | | | | / / /// / __ \\\\ ____ /// | | | | / / /// \/ || \\\ ///\\\ /// | |__/ | / / \\\_______|| \\\ /// \\\ /// | | _________ / \-----\ \-________| \_\/_/ \_\/_/ |______/ |_______| \_______/ Well here is my ware that I decided to distribute. I have a version of this running in my autoexec.bat to use 50 line mode and to use a faster repeat rate (it helps because I type faster...) because my Dad's can't read anything in 50 line mode, so now it allows me to use it when I get on without having to type all the commands in, and it allows my Dad to not have to call me in from across the house to change to big and slow for him... Anyway, this is my first attempt at writing in C++ and it was compiled on a demo version of Zortech C++ that I got with my C++ book "Learning C++" by Tom Swan. To use this program, just patch in the sample.bat file into any batch that you want to use this in, and stick the executable in a directory that's handy for the batch you are running...usually somewhere in your path, but not always... Be sure and alter the sample batch to run whatever commands you want, the batch file is pretty self-explanatory. Have fun with this ware. If something goes wrong, I didn't do it. You did. Copyright 1994 by GwD Incorporated and STM Enterprises. All rights reserved to 'dat GREEN d00d. ----- "file_id.diz from GwD_3.ZIP" by Lobo Licious, 1994 GwDware Number 3 Find your age as a factor of someone else's. That is, find when you will be a certain part of someone's age. Long Live Greeny! Porno! --- "Documentation for GwD_3.EXE" by Lobo Licious, 1994 ________ _______ ______ ///______-_ | \ / \ /// -_| | ___ | /_/---| | /// | | \ | | | /// | | | | __/ / /// ____ __ __ | | | | |__ | /// / __ \\\\ ____ /// | | | | \ \ /// \/ || \\\ ///\\\ /// | |__/ | | | \\\_______|| \\\ /// \\\ /// | | _________ / \---| | \-________| \_\/_/ \_\/_/ |______/ |_______| \_______/ The Hyper-Rad Age Factor Finder ver. 1.27b GwDware #3 DIRECTIONS: Type GWD_3 in the directory you have the file in (duh). Whenever you are asked for a number (ie. the year, a person's age) enter a number. Self-explanatory. If you enter the age of the oldest person first, the program will still execute, but you won't like what it does 8-). When asked for a factor, pick a number, (like '2'). The program will then express the ages in factors of the number entered and tell the year those factors will be correct. For instance, to find out when you will be exactly half the age of someone else. Entering '2' as the factor would do this. I know it doesn't make much sense, but trust me. Well, this is a really silly program that will tell the year in which two people will be certain factors of each others' ages, or something like that. I wrote this one day when i was really bored, so don't whine about its lameness. GWD_3 was written in Turbo Pascal, and I copied it from my Algebra book. Of course, in the book, the program was in BASIC (woo woo), so I at least had the decency to translate it from a dead language. I also added some stuff, so it's not really plagiarized. Blah. Anyway, have fun with it. (note: GWD_1 was also copied from my Algebra book and converted into TP from BASIC. I am so damn cool.) copyright (c) 1994 by Lobo and GwDwarez, a part of GwD Inc. ************ GwDwarez, the Warez of the Future! ************ --- "GwD_3 Source Code" by Lobo Licious, 1994 program AGE_FACTORS (input, output); uses crt; var ford, chevy, dodge, jeep, olds, vw, bmw : real; begin writeln('GWD_3.EXE'); writeln; write('Enter Current Year: '); readln(ford); write('Enter Age of Older Person: '); readln(dodge); write('Enter Age of Younger Person: '); readln(chevy); write('Enter Factor: '); readln(jeep); if (chevy > dodge) then begin writeln; writeln('Aren`t we silly? The *oldest* person`s age is first. St00pid. Try again.'); writeln; writeln('This has been "GWD_3.EXE", a production of GwDwarez.'); writeln('Copyright 1994 by GwDwarez, a division of GwD Incorporated.'); end; if (chevy = dodge) then begin writeln; writeln('Now, now. Those people are the same age. Try again, d0rk.'); writeln; writeln('This has been "GWD_3.EXE", a production of GwDwarez.'); writeln('Copyright 1994 by GwDwarez, a division of GwD Incorporated.'); end; if dodge > chevy then begin bmw := (dodge - chevy) * (jeep - 1); vw := bmw + dodge - chevy; olds := ford - dodge + vw; writeln; writeln('Year Older Younger'); writeln; writeln(olds:3:0,' ',vw:3:0,' ',bmw:3:0); writeln; writeln('This has been "GWD_3.EXE", a production of GwDwarez.'); writeln('Copyright (c) 1994 by GwDwarez, a division of GwD Incorporated.'); end; end. ----- "GwDPAC Source Code" by Lasher, 1996 uses crt,graph; var Gd, Gm: Integer; x,y:integer; tx,ty:integer; i,j:integer; clm:integer; begin Gd := Detect; InitGraph(Gd, Gm, ' '); if GraphResult <> grOk then Halt(1); x:=getmaxx; y:=getmaxy; clm:=getmaxcolor; settextstyle(defaultfont,horizdir,2); begin for i:=0 to 14 do begin setcolor(red); outtextxy(0+(i*60),y div 2-10,'Redd'); delay(40); end; for i:= 1 to 14 do begin setbkcolor(black); setfillstyle(solidfill,green); PieSlice(20+(I*50),y div 2,10, 355, 100); setcolor(black); outtextxy(30+(I*50),y div 2-60,'GwD'); delay(35); setfillstyle(solidfill,black); PieSlice(20+(I*50),y div 2,10, 355, 100); setbkcolor(black); setfillstyle(solidfill,green); PieSlice(30+(I*50),y div 2,30, 335, 100); setcolor(black); outtextxy(40+(I*50),y div 2-60,'GwD'); delay(35); setfillstyle(solidfill,black); PieSlice(30+(I*50),y div 2,30, 335, 100); outtextxy(50*(I*60),y div 2-10,'Redd'); delay(100); end; for i := 1 to 10 do begin cleardevice; setcolor(green); SetTextJustify(CenterText, CenterText); SetTextStyle(defaultfont, horizdir, i); OutTextXY(320, Y-(i*18), 'Rokks!'); OutTextXY(320, 0+ (i*20) , 'GwD'); end; delay(500); end; closegraph; end. ----- "GwD_AD Source Code" by Lasher and Lobo Licious, 1996 program GwD_ad; uses crt,graph; const Gray50 : FillPatternType = ($AA, $55, $AA, $55, $AA, $55, $AA, $55); var lcv,count,count2,color,x1,y1,lcv2, Gd, Gm, x,y, xm, ym, ri,i,j, clm:integer; angst:string; procedure open_screen; begin clrscr; gotoxy(1,24); textcolor(10); writeln(' G D'); delay(150); writeln(' GG DD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGG DDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGGGGG DDDDDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGGGGGGGG DDDDDDDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG w w w DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGGG GGGGGGGGG w w w w DDDD DDDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG GGGGGGGGG w w DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG GGGG w w DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGGGGGGGG DDDDDDDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGGGGG DDDDDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGGGG DDDDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GGG DDD'); delay(150); writeln(' GG DD'); delay(150); write(' G D'); delay(500); end; procedure decrypt(var anus:string); var i,x:integer; q:char; begin for i:=1 to length(anus)do begin q:=anus[i]; for x:=1 to 5 do q:=pred(q); anus[i]:=q; end; end; procedure legal_stuff; var str:string; begin textcolor(2); str:='%%%L|I%2%Fi{jwynxjrjsy%2%Ktw%Uwtrtyntsfq%Uzwutxjx%Tsq~%2%Fi{jwynxjrjsy%2%L |I'; decrypt(str); writeln(str); str:='%%%%%%%Ymj%Fi{jwynxjrjsy%~tz%ozxy%xf|%nx%f%uwtizhynts%tk%L|I1%Nsh3%|mt% nx'; decrypt(str); writeln(str); str:='%%%%%%%%%xtqjq~%wjxutsxngqj%ktw%nyx%htsyjsy3%%Ymj%fsxn2xy~qj%ufwyx%|jwj'; decrypt(str); writeln(str); str:='%%%%%%%%%%%%%%htiji%g~%Qtgt%fsi%ymj%lwfumnhx%|jwj%htiji%g~%Qfxmjw3'; decrypt(str); writeln(str); str:='%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%L|I%2%htu~wnlmy%-h.%6>>;%g~%L|I1%Nsh3%2%L|I'; decrypt(str); writeln(str); textcolor(7); end; procedure po_box(color:integer); var str:string; begin textcolor(color); gotoxy(30,12); str:='L|I1%Nsh3'; decrypt(str); writeln(str); gotoxy(30,13); str:='U3T3%Gt}%6;58='; decrypt(str); writeln(str); gotoxy(30,14); str:='Qzggthp1%Yj}fx%<>9>5'; decrypt(str); writeln(str); delay(10); end; procedure top(x1,y1:integer); begin randomize; angst:='%%202%L|I%202%ymj%lwjjs~%|twqi%itrnsfynts%yfxp%ktwhj1%nshtwutwfyji%202%L|I% 202'; decrypt(angst); count:=1; gotoxy(x1,y1); for lcv:=1 to length(angst) do begin count:=random(1000)+1; color:=random(15)+1; if color=4 then color:=2; if color=12 then color:=10; textcolor(color); if angst[lcv-1]='G' then write(angst[lcv]) else if count mod 2 = 0 then write(angst[lcv]) else write(upcase(angst[lcv])); end; writeln; end; procedure scroll(var x1,y1:integer); begin top(x1,y1); delay(100); end; procedure open_crap; var str:string; begin clrscr; gotoxy(26,24); textcolor(2); str:='LW88S^%qnp8x%rfxm8i%u5yfy58x'; decrypt(str); write(str); x1:=1; y1:=1; repeat count2:=0; repeat scroll(x1,y1); inc(count2); until count2=15; textcolor(0); gotoxy(1,y1); writeln(angst); inc(y1); until y1=24; end; procedure grrr; begin clrscr; po_box(0); delay(150); po_box(8); delay(150); po_box(7); delay(150); po_box(15); delay(150); po_box(7); delay(150); po_box(8); delay(150); po_box(0); delay(150); po_box(2); delay(150); po_box(10); delay(150); po_box(15); delay(150); po_box(10); delay(150); po_box(2); delay(150); po_box(0); delay(150); po_box(8); delay(150); po_box(7); delay(150); po_box(15); delay(150); po_box(7); delay(150); po_box(8); delay(150); po_box(0); textcolor(7); clrscr; end; procedure cool; var str:string; begin str:='L|I'; decrypt(str); lcv2:=0; Gd := Detect; InitGraph(Gd, Gm, ' '); if GraphResult <> grOk then Halt(1); x:=0; y:=0; ym:=getmaxy; xm:=getmaxx; clm:=getmaxcolor; repeat cleardevice; for j:=1 to 10 do for i:=-1 to 360 do begin if j mod 2 =0 then setcolor(2) else if j mod 2<>0 then setcolor(4); PieSlice(xm div 2,ym div 2,0, i, -i); end; for i := 1 to 10 do begin cleardevice; setcolor(green); SetTextJustify(CenterText, CenterText); SetTextStyle(defaultfont, horizdir, i); OutTextXY(xm div 2, Ym-(i*24),str); OutTextXY(320, 0+ (i*24) ,str); outtextxy(32*10,ym div 2,str); outtextxy(xm-(i*32),ym div 2,str); outtextxy(0+(i*32),ym div 2,str); outtextxy(xm div 2, ym div 2,str); delay(50); end; inc(lcv2); until lcv2=3; cleardevice; for i:= 1 to 200 do begin delay(1); putpixel(xm div 2, ym div 2-1+i,white); putpixel(xm div 2,ym div 2+1-i,white); end; for i := 200 downto 1 do begin delay(1); putpixel(xm div 2,ym div 2-i,black); putpixel(xm div 2,ym div 2+i,black); end; for i:= 1 to 300 do begin putpixel(xm div 2 +i, ym div 2, white); putpixel(xm div 2 - i ,ym div 2,white); end; delay(20); cleardevice; closegraph; end; begin open_screen; open_crap; cool; delay(700); grrr; legal_stuff; gotoxy(1,15); end. ----- "GwD DOS Wallpaper Documentation" here we go again, another creation from the bored mind of Bill Hooper... -=[---------------------------------------------------------]=- °±²Û A Presentation From Those Crazy Guys Û²±° °±²Û At Û²±° °±²Û Bill & Lobo's Hyper Elite Programmers Guild Û²±° °±²Û In Association With Û²±° °±²Û The Greeny world Domination Taskforce Û²±° °±²Û Û²±° °±²Û GwD MS-DOS Wallpaper! Û²±° °±²Û Û²±° °±²Û Programmer : [ Bill Hooper ] Û²±° °±²Û Program : [ GwD DOS Wallpaper ] Û²±° °±²Û Version : 1.0 Û²±° °±²Û Date : 08-15-97 Û²±° °±²Û Type : TSR Û²±° °±²Û OS : works in Win95/98 DOS Û²±° °±²Û mode, as well as DOS Û²±° °±²Û windows Û²±° -=[---------------------------------------------------------]=- [Disclaimer] You are using this program at your own risk. If you received an originally packaged copy, it is most likely virus free. Although we try to keep our computers clean, the possibilities of virii is real. We are not responsible for any virulent code that accompanies this program. This program has undergone basic testing on our own computer systems, or systems that we are familiar with. This program will not, to our knowledge, cause any damage to a standard IBM compatible running MS-DOS 5.0 or later. If this program does cause any damage to your system, it's not our fault. We make no guarantees that this program will function as described on your own computer system. This is something that we do in our spare time, don't expect much. We will do our best, but we aren't close to professional, and are just entering college. Bill and Lobo's Hyper Elite Programmer's Guild, and The Greeny world Domination Taskforce are not responsible for any damages resulting from the use of this program. [Intro] Yep. Here we go again. Another little proggie(well, not another if you haven't been privileged enough to see the first few). This program continues in the tradition of Disk Access, and Number Crap, and all other BLHEPG releases, with a new twist. Unlike most of our programs, this was written outside of Charby's CS class. This program comes to you from Bill Hooper's trip to Asia(India to be specific). [Description] This program gives your DOS screen a small GwD logo in the upper, right hand corner. Due to the magical abilities of the TSR(Terminate Stay Resident), this logo will remain on screen through all DOS applications that use a normal 25X80 ASCII screen. It's a simple program written very quickly and inefficiently. [Instructions] Hmm.. Run the exe (GWDLOGO.EXE). Yeah, that's about all there is to it. At the command prompt, type GWDLOGO. You can't unload this version from memory, wah. If, for some unknown reason, you want to remove the beautiful logo from your screen, reboot the computer if in DOS mode or close the DOS window, if that's what you're using. [Known Bugs, etc..] What this program does is basically write directly to video memory, changing the background attribute of a certain area of the screen in a specified pattern. When the screen scrolls, that background also scrolls. This action creates a problem. To keep the display from screwing up, I have the program reset the attribute of all surrounding characters to a cyan foreground and black background. This is the reason that it's not too pretty when in DOS Edit, or some other ANSI GUI interface program. If you have any good ideas on how to get around this problem, I'd love to hear. This program has undergone cursory testing. There are no guarantees that it will work on your computer system or with all of your computer programs. TSRs are not friendly things to program or play with. If you have any specific questions, email me. [Plans] I might add some new stuff if I ever get a new version out. Dunno. If there's anything that you would like to see in the program, please, don't hesitate to ask.. [Stuff] If you need anything custom programmed, you can contact us. Although it may not be apparent, we really can program worthwhile stuff if we have to. The stuff we release is just for the hell of it. Bill Hooper is an entering freshman at MIT, Lobo is an entering freshman at Texas Tech University. They are both planning to major in Computer and Electronics type subject. We work for cheap depending on the project. We do stuff in HTML, Delphi, C++, Pascal, C++ Builder. We're currently learning Java/JavaScript, Perl, and other things. Dunno. If you're interested, contact us. [Greetz] A special thanks goes out to those that have taken the time to answer my questions on IRC(too many to list). If you like this program, please take the time to help out at least 5 people on IRC, and encourage them to do the same. It really pisses me off when people pull that "holier than thou" shit. Ebonics is silly too. Especially when white people use it(That's personal though). [Contacts] In the current day of the "information super highway", "infobahn", or whatever silly euphemism you want to use for the internet, it's easy to contact us. If you have any nice questions or comments, don't hesitate to drop us a line. Membership in BLHEPG is exactly what it says, Hyper-Elite. There are no members other than Bill and Lobo. Period. If you have any questions or comments about GwD, see their contact section. ----=[Bill and Lobo's Hyper Elite Programmers Guild Contacts]=---- --Name-- --Email-- --Affiliations-- Bill Hooper kn@kisi.com GwD/BLHEPG/GW Lobo Licious lobolicious@cyberdude.com GwD/BLHEPG ----=[Greeny World Domination Taskforce Contacts]=---- --Name-- --Email-- Seth The Man seththeman@cyberdude.com Lobo Licious lobolicious@cyberdude.com wow. this is a long set of docs for a simple program. let that be a lesson of what boredom does to you. copyright GwD 1997 --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -= What They're Saying... =- ...About GwD in general: "This [GwD] is a fine group that I associate with (I haven't ever written for them [uhh, yeah you have], but I know most of the guys who founded it). It's a zany bunch of young, angst-ridden anarchists from a lovely place called Lubbock, Texas" - Kilroy "GwD is the single greatest fighting force ever assembled." - Saddam Hussein "Yea! Greeny world Domination rocks! whee.. fun fun. This textfile group is 'hot'." - Bill Hooper ...About _GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime_ "This [GwD98] is one of the greatest t-files ever." - Grandmaster Ratte' "A collection of text files written by some of my best buddies in Lubbock. If you were into computers during your teen years, this zine will bring back great memories." - NetLegend Jaffo's List'o'links "Some of the finest t-files to date, yet also some of the shittiest...if only they'd choose quality OR quantity to focus on, instead of neither...100 files in eight years is nothing to scream about, especially since more than half of them suck...it sure keeps us guessing, though." - Ratt Fink "cDc who? GwD burst onto the textfile scene in 1993 and has KICKED ASS ever since." - Commodore Schmidlap ...About GwDweb and/or The world Domination PlayStation: "Review Site: The world Domination PlayStation Rating: 4 URL: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2334/ This site has plenty of colour and some good graphics. It is an e-zine known as 'GwD: The American Dream with a Twist of Lime'. A different site to check out." - Webnet Webratings The world Domination PlayStation was given 3 bananas out of 5 by the Worth A Peek Awards The Inkpot Zine List includes GwDweb and gets both our name AND our (main) publication's name correct! [Believe it or not, this is a rarity, even among members of our group.] ...About [Bill Hooper's] Humor List: "I woke up today and had lost my will to live. When i checked my email and saw your awsome list I changed my mind and decided to go harvest wheat instead! Thank You!" - Anonymous List Member "bill, your humor is offending me. I can't take it. I'm going to kill myself and it will be your fault!" - Justin [List Member] "Hey! Just a note to tell you how much I look forward to your lists. Keep up the good work. I take all my lists to my church and share the humor...They don't talk to me much any more." - Jim [List Member] --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -= Cool Stuff 2 =- As promised in GwD50, this is the second installment of Cool Stuff. Man, oh man, it's LOTS OF FUN!!! ----- "Ignorance vs. Thoughtlessness" by Seth The Man I was getting food last night at Schlotzsky's and parked next to a car with an Ani DiFranco sticker. I was looking at the sticker (I'm a big Ani fan) and noticed another one underneath it that said "Ignorance is Typical". I didn't like the tone of that sticker very much and I was thinking about why this was. I think it's kind of a hypocritical. So much is chalked up to ignorance, when really, ignorance is not the root of any problem, it only points to the real problem, thoughtlessness. Lack of Knowledge holds no sin of itself. It is the problem of not wanting to pursue the knowledge needed to create an informed opinion or decision that is the real problem. The attitude of falling back to preset beliefs, without conscious consideration of the issue, through laziness or faith, is what the real problem is. The sticker is as guilty of this mistake as any racist or zealot. ----- Date: 1:34 am Tue Jan 24, 1995 Number : 51 of 53 From: Psychosomatic Illusion Base : Negative Net Exports...sounds To : Kasdfmasdfjaisdfj Refer #: None Subj: immature name calling! Replies: None Stat: Normal Origin : Local Take this! hah! IceHouse! The Red Dog! hah! I called you a BEER! hahahah! im so fucking k33n. hah! hah! hhahahah! p$i ----- "Rat" Rats are soooo much fun! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx __ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx// \ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx((_ )x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_xxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx(o)xxxxxxx rrxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo rrrxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx/|\xx/ rrrrxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx__/x| \ rrr xwxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx rrr wwwxxxxxxxxx .. xwwww... rrr wwwxxxxxxx . www .. rrr wwwww ..... ====... rrr ========= rrr 'rr._ ''rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ----- "Super Villain" by Yancey Slide This isn't finished - in fact, I only just started. But I'm working on poetry now: They call me super-villain But what do they know? Maybe I'm not (so) super. I'll show them all, someday. Show them all I'm not mad Just very angry. I'd have shown them all already If not for interlopers Interfering super-pants. Why should they care If I taint the reservoir? I have a job to do. And who are they To bust up my lab? Damned vigilantes. ----- Date: 11:10 am Tue Feb 27, 1996 Number : 29 of 46 From: Diamondback Base : Private Mail To : Psycho Smurf Refer #: None Subj: Whee! Replies: None Stat: Normal Origin : Local Ok. I'll keep this mass-mail short n' simple. This weekend(Friday 3/1 thru Sunday 3/3) is another netgame party. Rockin' stuff. Things to bring if at all possible: -- 486 with 8M ram or better machines are needed. No 'puters=no games. If you have a keen computer(s), bring 'em. Don't forget your power strip. -- Games. Any network playable games that you think the rest of us might not have, bring it. We may just play it. -- Netcards. If you have some cards or cable, bring it just in case. I already have 12 cards, but more is better. -- Munchies. Cokes. Chips. Whatever. If we all pitch in, we can munch away the whole time we're gaming. This thing may flop, with only 7-8 people, or it may be huge with 16 or more folks. Depends on how many of YOU show up. Heh. Also, as long as I'm into the public announcement thing......March 17th(St. Patty's Day) is a Sunday and is 1/2 price indoor paintball. April 6th is paintball, but with easter eggs filled with small prizes out on the field for you to grab while you play. Heh. I guess that's it. ----- 8888 8888888 888888888888888888888888 8888:::8888888888888888888888888 8888::::::8888888888888888888888888888 88::::::::888:::8888888888888888888888888 88888888::::8:::::::::::88888888888888888888 888 8::888888::::::::::::::::::88888888888 888 88::::88888888::::m::::::::::88888888888 8 888888888888888888:M:::::::::::8888888888888 88888888888888888888::::::::::::M88888888888888 8888888888888888888888:::::::::M8888888888888888 8888888888888888888888:::::::M888888888888888888 8888888888888888::88888::::::M88888888888888888888 88888888888888888:::88888:::::M888888888888888 8888 88888888888888888:::88888::::M::;o*M*o;888888888 88 88888888888888888:::8888:::::M:::::::::::88888888 8 88888888888888888::::88::::::M:;:::::::::::888888888 8888888888888888888:::8::::::M::aAa::::::::M8888888888 8 88 8888888888::88::::8::::M:::::::::::::888888888888888 8888 88 88888888888:::8:::::::::M::::::::::;::88:88888888888888888 8 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MM88MM MMMM "I sure do love them garter belts, aww-haw!" (thus spake Seth The Man, 03/10/01) ----- [Sub: General -- Quoi De Neuf] 49/50: K-MART TRAM-K Name: Kp Neato Dee #14 @3 Date: Sun Apr 23 04:56:43 1995 I'M ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED GOING TO THE K-MART ON UNIVERSITY 'CAUSE IT'S JUST LAME. IT JUST SCREAMS "WE HAVEN'T REMODLED SINCE '79 AND WAL-MART IS DESTROYING US." ALL THE K-MART EMPLOYEES ARE SULLEN AND SHIFTLESS SINCE WAL-MART CAME TO TOWN. AND SEARS EMPLOYEES? FORGET IT. THEY MIGHT AS WELL WORK IN A MUSEUM. AND WHAT IF YOU'RE THE TOY DEPT. GUY AT SEARS? YOU'RE A LEPER, MAN, SINCE TOYS 'R' US BROKE GROUND. YOU CAN'T EVEN HOLD YOUR HEAD UP. THEY SIT AROUND IN THE EMPLOYEE LOUNGE, DRINKING WHISKEY OUT OF A THERMOS BOTTLE ON 15-MINUTE BREAKS THAT STRETCH INTO 2-HOUR BINGE SESSIONS. HEY, I JUST GOT MY NEXT SONG IDEA. AND DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT YOU GUYS TAKE MY BRILLIANT POST IDEAS AND USE 'EM TO SEEM WITTY WITH THE CHICKS. AND I FUCKING HATE YOU FOR IT. FOREVER. HERE'S ANOTHER IDEA: GO DIE. NOW. THANKS. HUGZ :) :) :) :) :) :) :) HUGZ MEEZ GA-GOO NEE TOUCHIE FEEELIEEEZ :) :) :) KPND ----- "Freddy also appeals to minorities. 'There's enormous affection for the character in the black community,' says Harpster. 'It always playes as you would expect along the easter seaboard, in Detroit's large black population. It never played well in the lily-white areas, like Seattle or Kansas. It's basically an urban kind of phenomenon. It didn't do very well in Nebraska.' ... 'Avid moviegoers are the key audience for any movie. They may be blue- collar, they may be black, they may have high-school educations, but filmwise they know their stuff.'" (from pg. 132 of _The Nightmare Never Ends_ by William Schoell and James Spencer, Citadel Press, 1992.) The above, of course, implies that while blue-collar/black/lacking in higher education people "know their stuff" about movies, they are essentially inferior in all other aspects. Way to go, Hollywood! Fine, this implication is a little bit of a stretch...but just a little. ----- "Yeeouch!!!" by Odin Jesse Yeeouch!!! Them pins is pointy! I'm a fuckin' Aries. Hmmm?. Born and raised in the hub city of Temple, Texas but I've been all over the place. From the Great Smoky mountains to Seattle to Georgetown DC, the self proclaimed capital of the weirdest teenagers with the rarest genital gland problems in the free world although all I can think about is New Orleans and those jumbo shrimp. Not the fuckin' Grouper though. Damn thing tastes worse than it looks. Big blank bulging eyes and their damn mouths are constantly open like Leslie Cowan. Not that anything doesn't show a direct relationship between taste and physical appearance. Mushrooms are the ugliest fucking growths you'll ever find and pig's brain brings a proportionately revolting odor into the equation for fun. I suppose it's kind of like when you piss in the sink and turn on the hot water to "clean it off" and it merely magnifies the smell of urine that inevitably leads to your sister getting really pissed and calling you a lazy slob. Not that she wouldn't do it if pissing was a more convenient pastime for women. A guy can piss on anything but not his leg. Wow, a whole damn paragraph out of the way. Small medium or large, free refill available! The color wheel indicates that red and green, the pious colors that emulate the eve of the birth of Jesus, are comparable to the combinations of orange and blue as well as purple and yellow. Ewwwww?. Those colors are yucky, now when you die you go to hell! Green and red indicate the combination of radiator fluid that mixes with the blood flowing from my hand after a near fatal ratchet accident. Whelp? I just opened her up and noticed that yer differential was leaking on yer alternator belt which is causing the problems in yer carburetor's catalytic conversion fuel injection system on that V6 385 drive shaft. By the way, today only buy forty car air fresheners and get the forty-first one free. Free installation if you've got a rear view mirror. I walked eighteen redwoods down to the gym and got on the scale. I weighed 9.477 cinderblocks, looks like I've gained a little. So I got on the treadmill for 1/1x10^478 eons and got so fucking tired I went to buy one of those big jugs of water, you know, the kind that hold 475 mouthfuls of water, but I noticed that I left all my chariot wheels at home and they wouldn't take a check. It's a good thing I ran into that chick last night. She'd be fucked if I hadn't been there to walk her home. A bitch like that has no business out there without a man. She was so excited she barely could even talk to me. I bet she didn't think she'd ever be lucky enough to meet a guy like me. After all, when I was talking about running four miles after every meal and bench pressing 385 she was so impressed she couldn't even look me in the eye. Then when I started talking about the turbo charger and glass packs in my '99 ford F150 XLT she must have thought she was in heaven. She'll be calling me any minute now, just as soon as she finishes washing her hair. This salt doesn't supply Iodide, I wonder if they have any artificially flavored soybean Iodide supplements here. The woman at Taco Bell last night gave me a receipt with my bean burrito. I couldn't imagine a circumstance in which I had to prove that I bought a fuckin' burrito. I'll give her the money, she gives me the burrito, there's no need to bring ink and paper into the transaction. But, in case someone is like, "Man, that's bullshit. Ain't no way you got a burrito the other night." I'll have the documentation ready. It's back at the dorm in the filing folder. Under "B", for burrito. I like that song that goes, "Dunnnn Dun Dun Duh Dunn Duh Dun diggadigga Dun Dun Dunn Duh Dunn", you know the one, right? If I ever end up having a roommate that's a total asshole dickhead dipshit fucker I think I'll buy a bunch of those Nicotrol cigarette patches and put one on his ankle when he's asleep every night. Then I'll get up before he does and take it off. That way I'll get him really addicted and he won't know what's going on and he'll go through withdrawal during the day. Sounds like fun. Man, fuck school. I hate always having to do shit and get up early and always be worried about shit. I'm starting to realize that a college education isn't remotely necessary to get a great job. Some of my happiest memories are of working at Fast Eddy's Pizza with some of the finest degenerates Temple has to offer. I think I'll be a pirate or a caveman or a con artist or a bounty hunter or a male prostitute. Any of those jobs would be a hell of a lot more interesting than a damn engineer. Well, it looks like if we change the torque on the bar supporting the cog we can maximize energy output. Bullshit. I'm going to live in a cave somewhere in Asia and think all the time and eat small animals and piss and shit in the woods. The secret to happiness is to escape from money as early as possible. There isn't anyone in the world that thinks you can live without money. All it does is tie you into the system with all the people you never wanted to be like when you were a child, when you knew a hell of a lot more about happiness than you know now. The sooner you get out the better because the longer you stay in the more dependencies you develop. See, if I were to do it now I'd still have the need for a friend and a musical instrument that I wouldn't have needed if I had escaped ten years ago. If I wait longer I'll simply become weaker and dependent on more worldly things. But, instead of doing something I'm sitting by the damn computer. Somehow nothing lasts forever yet some things never change. I think I hear the arsenic singing to me. Oh of course!! I love John! Oh really? Oh, how cute, yeah I know, I love Kyle, he's so funny. Oh, I know, she's such a total bitch, like totally. Trent is? Oh that's wonderful, I love Trent. Yeah, she's sort of a bitch too. Oh yeah I know, I just saw him at the mall, I love him. He's so cute!! No, no, no, WHAT? You're such a bitch!!! I suppose the only difference I can think of between the word entriphereal and the word naphroscocic is the context in which they'd be used. Entriphereal would be used to describe something pretty or maybe a dream or maybe a cool song or something. Naphroscocic should be used to describe an injury or a disaster or maybe a part of a tractor. They're both very useful, sort of like the word Modescent, which can describe a scary book, or a cool looking car, or the taste of bad food. Considering all three are fuckin' made up I suppose Modescent is my favorite because it's been more widespread. I invented it in high school and used it in reports and essays all the time. I never had a teacher comment about it. They're obviously too embarrassed to admit that they don't know what the hell it means and some high school dumbass does. I think it's very entriphereal of them. In fact, I think I might do something to the naphroscocic converter belt on their car just to piss them off. OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! I JUST SAW THE TEMPERATURE CHANGE ON THE WEATHER CHANNEL!! IT WENT FROM 67 TO 66 DEGREES!! I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN IT CHANGE BEFORE!! HEY EVERYBODY, ITS 66 DEGREES OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!!!! I was born on the exact day that Jesus Christ was crucified for the sins of the world. Good Friday, the most sacrilegious day of the year. I hope that's not some kind of omen. God is probably pissed at me for being born that day, that must be why I haven't gotten my grandma's Range Rover yet. Hmmm? I KNOW!! I'll say the lords prayer one hundred times tonight. He'll have to forgive me then, right? What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning? I'd probably ask him why the hell he's drunk early in the morning. That's an evening thing around here. He must be a damn foreigner, probably one of those freaks from Poland. Ewww?. Whoa? it's 8:30 already? Hey, it's been a nice evening but I really better get going. Alcohol abuse is a disease. But it's the only disease you can get bitched at for having. Dammit Odin! You're an alcoholic! Dammit Odin! You have Lupus! Dammit Odin! You have Leprosy! Dammit Odin! You have Ebola! Dammit Odin! You have the gout! Unfortunately Kevin Johnson won't be joining us this evening as he is at home asleep. I think I'd rather lose and arm than a leg. I'd rather be blind than deaf. I'd rather be ugly than smelly. I'd rather be dead than insane. I'd rather be middle class than aristocracy. I'd rather be annoying than ignorant. I'd rather be unappreciated than talentless. And at the end of the day, even though engineering isn't the most fulfilling of jobs I can always smile and say, "Well, at least I'm not working for you." Hmm? this stuff really doesn't taste too bad. It kinda smells funny, though. Ok, I give up, what is it? OH MY GOD!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!!! THAT'S NOT FUCKIN' FUNNY, MAN!!! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!! Save the whales, Collect them all!! I saw that fool yesterday and he was all "Sup dog" and I was all "Sup wit you?" and he was like "Wussup then, bitch!" and I was like "Step up nigga" and he was like "I see wussup now, bitch" and I was like "Say nigga, you be trippin" and he was like "It's on then, nigga" and I was like "Arite dog!" and he was like "Wussup then" and I was like "Yeah, that's what I thought" and he was like "Say nigga, Say" and I was like "awright den, it's cool brother" and he was like "Awright homie, peace out" and I was like "That's cool dog". Hey man, Yanni's playing live on the 15th. If I were to make an album I would definitely not put any of that evil devil music on there or any of that loud crap all the punks listen to, or any of that rap shit the thugs listen to, or any of the country shit the hicks listen to, or any of that oldies shit my parents listen to, or any of that blues shit the bums listen to, or any of that techno shit those weirdos listen to, or any of that classical stuff those old people listen to, or any of that other crap. Just twelve tracks of total silence. Hell yeah, that's good music!!! The worst part about being alive is when you stub your toe on the kitchen table. One time my uncle was building a house for his daughter because she was about to get married. Me and my cousin were helping him. I was up on the second floor and I was trying to hammer this support beam to one of the rafters. I accidentally dropped the hammer and it hit my uncle in the back of the head and knocked him out. The bad part about it was at the time he was working at the table saw and when he got knocked out he fell forward on the blade and cut his head off. It was the grossest thing I've ever seen. He was all twitching and shit. My cousin was slightly upset about what happened and he tried to run and tell the rest of the family. However, I knew that if he told my mom I'd probably get grounded and I wanted to go to the movies with my friends that weekend. So I ran after my cousin and poked a _ inch drill bit in the side of his neck to get his attention. He turned to see what I wanted but when I was trying to explain that I didn't want him to tell the family he passed out. I think it was probably because the drill bit was buried about two inches deep into his neck and passed through his carotid artery. Well, I couldn't let mom know about him either so I took them out to the shop and used the sandblaster to tear their bodies into oblivion. I suppose nobody ever found them. And I got to go to the movies with my friends that weekend so I guess the story has a happy ending after all. I read that Jacob Stryver from Ireland has been declared the man with the cleanest urine in the entire world. Something about his kidneys and his eating habits. But, I'd still drink my own before his. If fruit had individual personalities I think that bananas would be the funny ones. Peaches would be the manic-depressive ones. Strawberries would be the sexy ones. Pears would be very intelligent but kind of quiet. Oranges would be really active and you'd never see them very often. Cherries would be egocentric and arrogant. Grapes would be old and grouchy. Blueberries wouldn't be very funny or intelligent but they would think they were. Raspberries would be friendly but humble. And Grapefruit would be tyrannical, bitchy, assholes. A day without sunshine is like night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. If Barbie is so popular why do you have to buy her friends. Ewww? just think about creamed corn. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. I intend to live forever, so far so good. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you. YOU SUCKER!!! FUCKING SUCKER!!! HAHAHAHAHA Find the hidden message in the following crap: Al;kjepowia;dlsfhgjkldfhgoa;oiaoio;igao;isdjglhdnbfoiraurpiourkjbvl;kjshguiooer ptbnvjmcxoasrhoperhrof;lxdkgosayhrejlkvcnx;osjhrlgoisrehjoi;odijgl.bxnlxrjgoias erohglknx,lhjdvl;kgoerijoisrh;dflhkjxlko;isfdboigsrejyoufoundthemessage,aren't youproudofyourselfa;lkjlkbnvoiaserwoiahdlgjz;fdohgohfdlkcxjvbuhguioreptlhgf,mvhx lkgjbhrapijhfgkjxhgjvlcbiudhciuyoitujwrahtcvmhoghosgjxlkjghkcvno;islzrjsdfgosglg kdjhls;xkgflxjkhvbop;lkurj;oslkcvhnbolcfguvjh;isorlzkdsujtrf;olshgdnjxmbhnglicxk tugjpajsdgv. Don't you hate it when you have a really sexy dream and you wake up with a sore asshole and shit stains all over your fingers? Hey man, I'm going down to that one place where those guys go like "Blaaauugh" on that little thing. The finest example of an igloo that I can think of was the one that was in the Inuit museum in Washington, DC. I liked it because it was an actual size replica of a 15th century Aleutian igloo that housed up to eight families. Unfortunately, as is common in public museum the exhibit had been defaced by the time I saw it. There were Coke cans and candy wrappers all over the place and some of the details on the Aleutian mannequins had been stolen. The only other eyesore was the eighteen decapitated infant carcasses rotting in the background. Sometimes I wonder why human bodies have some of the parts that they have. I don't know why men have nipples, appendixes, or kidneys. He went into the kitchen and got that steak knife that he bought at the livestock show and went back into the bedroom and stabbed his wife in the leg. He didn't like her very much. But afterwards he felt bad so he called an ambulance which was slightly delayed as it was destroyed when it was side-swiped by at quadruple-back tractor trailer that was illegally driving on the road in the first place. So he ended up driving her to the hospital himself. She was so impressed by this sudden act of kindness that she accidentally bit her tongue off and began to choke. He drove faster because her condition was somewhat more urgent now. She recovered in seven and a half days and they returned to their house where they were killed in a surprise terrorist bombing raid on the neighborhood. I give my liiiiiiiiiffffeee and sooooouuuuuullll to you my friend, you let me faaauuuullll. Trapped in a gaze where time stands insurrected to a blur. Before this river becomes an ocean, before you pick my heart up off the floor. If I was God you'd sell your soul. Get in the pit and try to love someone. Whoring redeemer embezzles the weak. Come closer, you can do better than me. I ask myself why I'm so hateful. Fucking envy changes everything. Damn! They don't have the new Abba! ----- 10/17: Name: Trojan-Man #4 Date: Wed Dec 07 14:05:53 1994 Call 832-4287.....it's not long distance from lubbock....it won't hurt ya none....when you do it makes a pretty noise on this side....and on top of all that...wehn you do, nothing will happen....theres no board there.....nice concept, eh? Theres no warez, no codez, hell...no files period....I don't even have message basses or onliners....come to think of it, I don't even have BBS software set up.....so call The Non-Existant Board at 832-4287....if yer lucky you might just catch the sysop, Trojan-Man, in Telemate and actually get a connect....and then I'm sure he'll think of something cool to give you...or maybe not, but you'll never know till you call.....so go call it you shmuck....ATA is a good thing. Safer Sex Forever, Trojan-Man Oh yeah....you should prolly not call after like 3 in the afternoon cus thats when I leave sos I won't be here when the people that actually live here get home....cus you know, it's thier computer, thier phone line, thier house and all that, but they don't use it during the day, I don't think they'll mind.... ----- "Interesting Hits that www.GREENY.org Received from 25 March to 30 April 2001" There have, of course, been other interesting hits since GREENY.org went online, but we're too lazy to include them here. 25/Mar/01 12:57: wcs3.norfolk.nipr.mil 25/Mar/01 19:45: apnc101.216.216.211.in-addr.arpa 27/Mar/01 04:44: educfwal.blackpool.gov.uk 27/Mar/01 18:14: jadzia.wellsfargo.com 29/Mar/01 02:35: haymaker.leeds.wwwcache.ja.net 29/Mar/01 02:35: ruddles.leeds.wwwcache.ja.net 29/Mar/01 02:35: magee.leeds.wwwcache.ja.net 29/Mar/01 04:50: nc1.unicc.org 29/Mar/01 04:50: nc2.unicc.org 30/Mar/01 08:52: thor.clf.navy.mil 30/Mar/01 08:52: zeus.clf.navy.mil 30/Mar/01 13:20: vance001.net.gov.bc.ca 03/Apr/01 01:09: cache3-1.ruh.isu.net.sa 03/Apr/01 01:09: cache1-1.ruh.isu.net.sa 03/Apr/01 01:09: cache2-0.ruh.isu.net.sa 03/Apr/01 10:25: unknown-31-159.ama-assn.org 03/Apr/01 19:44: sf-bas01.sf.csfb.com 04/Apr/01 05:19: cache1.grnet.gr 07/Apr/01 12:07: scorpion.usafa.af.mil 09/Apr/01 08:05: sw3ext.eglin.af.mil 10/Apr/01 22:25: cupidon.inria.fr 14/Apr/01 12:49: 1cust173.tnt3.oshawa.on.da.uu.net 17/Apr/01 16:06: mail.wordsearchbible.com 25/Apr/01 13:24: genetics-bh.genetics.com 30/Apr/01 11:49: bastion.cbc.ca ----- "This here's a keyboard-n-shit. A REALLY OLD keyboard" ________________________________________________ | _____________________________ | | [][] _____________________________ [_][_][_] | | [][] [_][_][_] [_][_][_][_] [_][_] [_][_][_] | | | | [][] [][][][][][][][][][][][][][_] [][][][] | | [][] [_][][][][][][][][][][][][][] [][][][] | | [][] [__][][][][][][][][][][][][_] [][][][] | | [][] [___][][][][][][][][][][][__] [__][][] | | [_][______________][_] | |______________________________________________| ----- Date: 1:30 am Thu Jun 22, 1995 Number : 23 of 23 From: Napalm Base : Like, oh mah gah, Buffae! To : Laqueeda Refer #: 12 Subj: Re: 8756 Replies: None Stat: Normal Origin : Local L> nothing but silicone and air. Silicone. Ramblings on silicone. Ya know, if medical science could discover a way to turn the silicone in breast implants into some type of processing device, neural net, et al, then Pamela Anderson would put any Cray to shame. Yeah. Her and Dolly Parton. You could network 'em by nipple clamps and then ask them the meaning of life. The answer would prolly be 42. Think about it.. Models would actually become USEFUL. ----- From: "breed_x" To: "ChaosLAN" Subject: [chaoslan] Announcing ChachScan version 1.0 beta Date: Sun, 3 Dec 2000 15:54:21 -0600 ChaosLAN - http://chaos.greeny.org/~chaoslan ******* Announcing ChachScan version 1.0 beta for public release ********* Please visit http://chachscan.homeip.net for addition information about this software! The newest HalfLife online server scanner is brought to you FREE OF CHARGE by the wonderful folks at the Infiltration Lab software division. Features include: * Downloading of current server list from WON * Separate multithreaded server scan and ping functions * User configurable scan timeout threshold * Server list sorting by name, ip address, ping, player count, or game type * Search current server list by name and/or IP address. Find that server you heard your clansmen talking about! * Server detail window to display players, frag counts, and server variables * Player name search...find your clansmen online! * Launch HalfLife directly from server list screen! Comprehends game type and game directory. * Ability to enable/disable HalfLife console * Integrated enhanced IRC chat client! * Written in C/C++ for improved efficiency and speed. * Stand-alone executable...no bloated install/uninstall software...just two files to download (executable and configuration)! We are certainly looking for beta testers! We are confident that the product is now reasonably stable as a beta product and are in need of steady users who can report any remaining bugs/problems. We would like to urge all member of the ChaosLan list to download the software and give it a test drive. If you are not 100% satisfied with the product, we will refund your money in full (quite easy actually, considering that the thing is FREE!). Seriously, though: If you play online and enjoy playing with your clan members, this can be *the* tool for you. You are encouraged to use the chat functionality whenever playing online. It is recommended that all members of clan [Chach] who play online connect to one of the GamesNet IRC servers and join channel #chach prior to starting an online game. This will allow other members of clan [Chach] to easily find you online and join up with you! Feedback is welcome. Bugs/problems/suggestions/feedback/insults can be reported to jason.plumb@home.com or can be posted to the ChaosLAN list for public discussion. Again, that URL is http://chachscan.homeip.net Enjoy, you friggin CHACH! -breedx ----- ##### | ##### # _ _ #|# _ _ # # | # | ############ # # | # # # # | | # # | | | | # # | | | | # .-. # | #( O )# | | | | ################. .############### | ## _ _|____| ### |_ __| _ ## # | GwD | # # | | | | | | | | # ###################################### # # ##### OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO U __________\|/___\|/_______\/__\|/_______\|/______\/____\|/_____\|/_____________ ----- Date: 2:13 am Sat Dec 23, 1995 Number : 26 of 29 From: Napalm Base : Don't worry, mom will buy us p To : Diamondback Refer #: 18 Subj: Re: This Replies: 1 Stat: Normal Origin : Local D> again(10am-8pm Sat & Sun shifts are _not_ conducive to being militant-b0y. Militancy is cool. When I get my discharge (22 NOV 98) I'm going to start a militia. You can all join! We'll be the cyberhackermilitia, feared by the pulic, the ATF, the FBI, the CIA (Christians In Action?) the US Marshals, the Texas Rangers, the NSA, the DIA, the KGB, Mossad, SF, SAS, GIGN, GSG-9, and all sorts of other alphabet soup agencies! We'll be a scourge! Cheesy lame post! Trying to start posting up! Pathetic attempt! Pathetic attempt! ----- "GwDweb Guestbook Stuff" by lots of people "I want to be Lobo's groupie. Can I?" - liz d. "blarg" - Trojan-Man "Does anyone actually look at this?" Jakyl "Destroy." - Seth The Man "wow, this sux harder than monic. what a jizzed up trick. newaz this 'reakes' of little scholng. pussy" - Mr Melvin ----- Path: news.XXX.XXX! Distribution: world Newsgroups: alt.best.of.internet Subject: ABOI: Bugs From: ironrod@channel1.com (Ironrod) Date: Sat, 18 Nov 1995 20:14:00 -0640 Organization: Channel 1(R) 617-864-0100 Info Lines: 136 * Forwarded by : Ironrod of Spiderloft (ironrod@channel1.com) Forwards removed ... Software Engineering Notes (SEN), a journal of the Association for Computer Machinery, regularly publishes lists of computer horror stories. Some of these are well-known, while others have never been independently verified. This summary gives the SEN volume/issue, and the date of the event, if known. (SEN also reports computer break-ins, embezzlements, etc. Such malicious events are omitted here.) SEN | Description | Date of References| | Event -!--------+--------------------------------------------------+-------- 4/4 | Bug in brake computer system caused recall of | | all El Dorado automobiles | | | 5/1 | Arthritis-therapy microwaves set patient's heart | | pacemaker to 214, resulting in fatal coronary | | | 5/2 | Mariner 18 lost due to missing NOT in program | | | 5/2 | F16 autopilot flipped plane upside down whenever | | it crossed the equator | | | 5/3 | 50 false alerts from NORAD defense system | 1979 | | 6/1 | Many computer system outages at FAA Air Traffic | | Control | | | 6/3 | Air New Zealand crash in Antartica when computer | Nov 1979 | data error detected but crew was not informed | | | 6/5 | Backup computer synchronization problem delayed | | first Shuttle launch | | | 8/3 | NORAD defense radar system mistook the Moon for | | a hostile incoming missile | | | 8/3 | Computer bug showed ghost train near Embarcadero | May 1983 | station on San Francisco Muni | | | 8/3 | Software bug caused F14 to fly off the end of an | | aircraft carrier into the North Sea | | | 8/3 | HMS Sheffield radar system identified incoming | | Argentinian Exocet missile as non-Soviet & thus | | friendly; no alarm was raised and the ship sank | | | 8/5 | F18 computer opened missile retention clamp, | | fired missile and re-closed clamp before missile | | had had enough time to move away from aircraft | | | 8/5 | San Francisco BART doors opened while train was | | at full speed; control system's inter-station | | delay time was too short for TransBay Tunnel | | | 8/5 | United Airlines 767 iced up because fuel-saving | Aug 1983 | computer was over-efficient, causing engines to | | cool down too much on approach to Denver | | | 8/5 | Mariner 1 launch failed due to period instead of | 1962 | comma in FORTRAN program DO statement | | | 8/5 | Computer error caused US naval vessel to open | Jul 1983 | fire 180 degrees off target, in the direction of | | Mexican merchant ship | | | 9/1 | Gemini V splashed down 100 miles off target when | | program used 360 degrees for Earth's rotation in | | 1 day, i.e. ignoring its movement around the Sun | | | 9/1 | Vancouver Stock Exchange Index rose by 50% when | 1983 | 2 years of round-off errors in computer program | | were corrected | | | 9/5 | Viking spacecraft had misaligned antenna due to | | faulty code patch | | | 9/5 | F16 computer deadlocked, confusing left & right | | while plane was inverted | | | 10/1 | Faulty computer modelling of weather led to ill- | 1983 | advised damming of Colorado River, resulting in | | severe flooding during spring thaws | | | 10/2 | "Compatible" teller machines of 2 British banks | Jan 1985 | handled leap years differently, witholding cash | | and confiscating cards during New Year holiday | | | 10/2 | 180 degree heading error caused Soviet test | Dec 1984 | missile to aim for Hamburg instead of the Arctic | | | 10/2 | Faulty automatic dialup on Coke machines tied up | Jan 1985 | phone system in North Carolina municipal offices | | | 10/2 | Department store anti-theft microwave device | Jul 1981 | reprogrammed heart pacemaker, killing its user | | | 10/2 | Autopilot error caused China Airlines 747 to | Feb 1985 | stall near San Francisco | | | 10/3 | Robot killed Japanese auto worker attempting to | Jul 1981 | repair another robot | | | 10/3 | AT&T software bug knocked out all long-distance | 1979 | phone service to Greece | | | 10/3 | Shuttle laser experiment failed because computer | Jun 1985 | data was in nautical miles instead of feet | | | 10/3 | Woman killed daughter & tried suicide after | | computer incorrectly diagnosed incurable disease | | | 10/3 | Federal Reserve inter-bank transaction amounts | | multiplied by 1000 because data input procedures | | were inconsistent between client banks | | | 10/3 | Computer error caused nuclear reactor in Florida | Feb 1980 | to overheat | | | 10/3 | KAL flight 007 strayed, shot down due to heading | Sep 1983 | being mistyped into autopilot | | | 10/3 | 14000 Ford Lincolns recalled because computer in | | air suspension system had overheating problem, | | causing automobile to burst into flames | ----------------------------------------------------------------- paul.kinnaly@channel1.com || http://www.channel1.com/users/paulk/ *CMPQwk 1.42 #613* Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. ----- "Check out that ass!" |V| |-| |-| |-| |-| .-^-. _|_|_ .-^-. | \.-~ ~-./ | | / \ | | |..--~~~~~~~--..| | \_-~ ~-_/ / \ / \ | | | H | | H | | .-H-. | i / V \ ; \ | | / \________/ \________/ ----- G D GG DD GGG DDD GGGGG DDDDD GGGGGGGG DDDDDDDD GGGGGGGGGGG DDDDDDDDDD GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG w w w DDDD DDDDD GGGGGG GGGGGGGGG w w w w DDDD DDDDDD GGGGG GGGGGGGGG w w DDDD DDDDD GGGGG GGGG w w DDDD DDDDD GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD GGGGGGGGGGG DDDDDDDDDD GGGGGGGG DDDDDDDD GGGGG DDDDD GGG DDD GG DD G D The Official List of All Crap Published by GwD Publications/GwD, Inc. Since 1993 version 2.6 ________________________________________________________________________________ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/| GwD Publications |\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\| as of 01-03-01 |/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime" -+- ISSN 1523-1585 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ## Title Author(s) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 01 A summary of what GwD is. Lobo and STM 02 The Story of Greeny Lobo 03 Official Stuff Lobo and STM 04 War: A Costly Way to Solve a Problem Lobo 05 Rex et son ami Louis Lobo 06 Quotes Vol. I Lobo and STM 07 'Poor' School Districts Lobo 08 The Price: Chapter I The Lizard King 09 Sue of St. Louis Lobo 10 Spanky's Claim to Fame Spanky McDougal 11 Censorship: The School Play Lobo and Spanky McDougal 12 Faith No More: The Real Thing (lyrics) 13 Quotes Vol. II Sir Flea 14 Drunk In Mexico, Part I Zippy 15 Welcome to School 101 Lobo 16 Quotes Vol ]|[ Aracnia 17 Rage Against the Machine (lyrics) 18 Why Drugs Should Be Legalized Lobo 19 Droogan Poetry Poetic Droogs 20 Issue #1 of the GwD Task Force Newsletter Lobo, STM, Zen, & Trojan-Man 21 What fastjack 22 One Hand Clapping, Part I: The Beginning Spanky McDougal 23 One Hand Clapping, Part II: Reunion Spanky McDougal 24 Shakespeare Silliness, Part the First Lobo 25 Return to School 101 Lobo 26 Great Expectations Fable Lobo 27 Rex et son ami Louis, Le Prochain Chapitre: La rentre de les deux chouette hommes Lobo 28 Literal Dribblings Seth Sometimes 29 DroogSpeak: What We Say and Hear Diamondback 30 The Anti-GREENY! Lobo and SS 31 Cow Stompin' SS 32 BBSes Sir Flea 33 Silliness Begets More Silliness Zen and Aracnia 34 Drive By Water Gunnings: A Practical Approach Bill Hooper 35 Literary Publications by S & S SS and Lasher 36 The Plot Spanky McDougal 37 The Yuletide Caper Unknown 38 |\|3\x/Zzzf!@5h Ray Westbrook 39 Campaign Against Art Seeks to Stifle Dissent Charles Marowitz 40 Issue #2 of the GwD Task Force Newsletter SS and Lobo 41 the mogtronix instant inside-joke maker 2000 mogel 42 Bob Larson Parts 1 & 2 Kenneth L. Smith 43 Bob Larson Parts 3 & 4 Kenneth L. Smith 44 Bob Larson Parts 5 & 6 Kenneth L. Smith 45 Bob Larson Parts 7 & 8 Kenneth L. Smith 46 Bob Larson Parts 9 & 10 Kenneth L. Smith 47 Bob Larson Parts 11 & 12 Kenneth L. Smith 48 Bob Larson Parts 13 & 14 Kenneth L. Smith 49 Jack Schitt Unknown 50 The k-rad 3/Y+3 50th File GwD, Inc. 51 Only Tomorrow Lobo and Bob tMotW 52 UFOS and the ATF K2 and Carson 53 Cybersex 53b Getting Sued Is Bad GwD, Inc. 54 Stupid Girls Rainne 55 Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Doo and Press Release... Yancey Slide & STM 56 Enter the Trailer Park Queen Trailer Park Queen 57 PUBLIC ENEMY #1: CIA Unknown 58 Confessions of an Insurance Adjuster Antone P. Braga 59 The Deluded Ravings of a Madman The Mad Screamer 60 _The Book of Keylime_ LL/STM 61 Commentary on Just a Bunch of Stuff... Sir Flea 62 The Greeny Files (Chapter 1) Priest 63 Untitled? Lobo Licious 64 The GwD Guide to Being a Perfect Boyfriend Snotty 65 Whine Purpldrgn 66 The GwD STAR WARS Special Many a Person 67 Make Room for Millennium Baby Ron Callari 68 FUCK ALL FORMS OF WIRELESS COMMUNICATION Otis and Priest 69 In Anticipation of Shoes slave daphne 70 _The Droogist Manifesto_ Lobo/STM 71 The Ride Franken Gibe 72 Satan, Sodomy, and the Governor's School Charles Zeps 73 Hanoi Jane Unknown Author(s) 74 Shakespeare Silliness, Part Deux Yancey Slide/Lobo 75 The Beat of a Different Drummer Priest 76 Pinocchio (Oil Painting by Jaisini): A Review Yustas Kotz-Gottlieb 77 A Semester in Russia, Part 1 Yancey Slide 78 A Semester in Russia, Part 2 Yancey Slide 79 The Passion that Kills Otis 80 The Significance of 05-25-00 Kilroy 81 mute. Kp Neato Dee 82 Going Postal Franken Gibe 83 A Semester in Russia, Part 3 Yancey Slide 84 Medical Applications of Selective Laser Sintering Otis 85 My Poetry and Why I Hate Poetry Grandmaster Ratte' 86 Chach! Oscar the Pornographer 87 Send 'Em Packing: Reasoning for Congressional... Otis 88 The Drug Project www.thedrugproject.org 89 When Not Working Kp Neato Dee 90 Am I Old School Yet? Jaffo 91 Fuckin' HOEs Lobo Licious 92 Language Acquisition: Philosophical Variations... Bob tMotW 93 OPEN THEM EYES! Kp Neato Dee 94 Evaluating Some Premises of Hill's Argument... Otis 95 Ubermensch and Raskolnikov Bob tMotW 96 A Look at Hardin's Attacks on Contemporary... Otis 97 Dreams G. Ratte' & F. Gibe 98 Sickness 99 ICC for You and Me... Yancey Slide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * GwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWS * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Name Subject -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NEWS Announces Release of GwD 24-30 NEWS2 Announces Release of GwD 31-32 NEWS3 Announces Release of GwD 33-35 NEWS4 Announces Release of GwD 36-37 NEWS5 Announces Release of GwD 38-40 NEWS6 Announces Release of GwD 41-50 NEWS7 Announces Release of GwD 51-52 NEWS8 Announces Release of GwD 53-57 NEWS9 Announces Release of GwD 58-61 NEWS10 Announces Release of GwD 62-65 & GwDfyod NEWS11 Announces Release of GwD 66-67 NEWS12 Announces Release of GwD 68-75 NEWS13 Announces Release of GwD 76-79 NEWS14 Announces Release of GwD 80-99 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Special Releases - SpEsHuL rUhLeEsEz - 5p3zhu\_ R3/3@53zzZ - Special Releases * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Name Title Author(s) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GwD&1996 GwD and 1996 Lobo Licious GwD-FPQ Frequently Posed Queries Lobo Licious GwaDFest98 GwaDFest98 Invitation GwD, Inc. GwDfyod GwD: Five Years of Domination GwD, Inc. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Other Stuff -+- oThEr StUfF -+- 0+43R 5+uFF -+- OtHeR sTuFf -+- Other Stuff * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Name Title -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- gwdfiles.txt [this list] Official List of GwD Crap http://www.greeny.org/catalog/ GwDCatalog+ vol.1 issue 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 129 releases total by GwD Publications...and that's just the beginning. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----- Date: 4:39 pm Thu Sep 7, 1995 Number : 37 of 51 From: Captain Harlock Base : "DB's taxes" backwards is "Sex To : All Refer #: None Subj: alkjfdang Replies: 1 Stat: Normal Origin : Local Speaking of religions, my new hobby is calling the Dianetics/Scientology(TM) information hotline 1-800-FOR-TRUTH (call it yourself!) and asking them perfectly logical questions that they don't like to answer. Questions like: Who is Xenu? Who is Paulette Cooper, and why was "Operation Freakout" launched against her? How can a religion have "trade secrets?" Was L. Ron Hubbard committed to a mental hospital (Oak Knell Naval Hospital to be exact) after his discharge from the Navy? Did L. Ron Hubbard's third wife attempt to divorce him on the grounds that he was insane? Who was the first clear? If clears have such phenomenal superhuman abilities, why haven't they taken over the planet yet? And others. I've got a huge list of Frequently Unanswered Questions (FUQ, not FAQ) to ask them, but they won't answer. Consider my most recent exchange: Clam: Dianetics, may I help you? Me: Yes. I was wondering if you could answer me a few questions about Scientology. Clam: Certainly. Me: Who is Paulette Cooper? Clam: I don't know. I've never heard that name. What are you talking about? Me: Well then, who is Xenu? Clam: I don't know. What does that have to do with anything? Me: Isn't Dianetics part of Scientology? Clam: Of course. Me: Then who is Xenu? Isn't he part of Scientology beliefs? Clam: I've never heard of it. It doesn't concern me. Me: So you've never taken the OT III course material, because he's mentioned in there quite frequently. Clam: I don't see what that has to do with you. Excuse me, I have to answer another call. Me: Oh, so you don't want to answer my perfectly logical questions, like L. Ron Hubbard(TM) said you should. ElRon, God of Scamitology, is frequently quoted as telling all his people to answer any and all questions people have, for only then will Scientology be doing its mission. Clearly, they don't want to follow his advice anymore. ["DB's taxes" backwards is "Sex at DB's"] [37/51] : ----- Date: Wed, 06 Jan 99 07:54:20 -0500 To: lobo@GREENY.org From: issn@loc.gov Subject: ISSN Assignment Thank you for requesting the International Standard Serial Number (ISSN). We have made the following ISSN assignment: Title: GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime ISSN: 1523-1585 Sincerely, ISSN Cataloger, US ISSN Center issn@loc.gov ----- "DRU Log to Show that We're More 3/Y+3 than YOU." - contributed by Ratt Fink BROTHERS AND SISTERS! ___ ______ | || \ | ||___ \ | || \ | | || | | ___________ | || | | ___________ / ______| | || | | / ______| | / | || | | | / | \_______ | ||___/ | | \_______ | | | || / | | \____________| |___||______/ \____________| A S S A U L T T E L E C O M Entry: THRASH Generallyuselessbutit'shereanyways NOTICE: This BBS may contain explicit descriptions of or may advocate one or more of the following: nudity, satanism, suicide, sodomy, incest, bestiality, sadomasochism, adultery, murder, morbid violence, bad grammar, or any deviate sexual conduct in a violent context, or the use of illegal drugs or alcohol. But then again, it may not. Who knows. This BBS is a private system. Only private citizens who are not involved in government, law enforcement, or private investigative activities may be permitted to use this system unless they completely and honestly divulge their status to the sysop upon first entering the system. No users of this BBS are authorized to divulge information gained from this system to any government agency or employee. All information contained herein is the property of and copyrighted by the sysop, unless prior copyrights are specified. This BBS system is a Common Carrier. The computer it operates on is also a Publisher. -SysOp Feds: Don't waste your time, there are no c0dez or waReZz on here anyways.... Welcome to the future: no future Entering meat-processing plant... ___ |\ ___ |\/| /\ | /___) /\ ^ ___ | | | > /___ | | < > |\ | / \ < > /_\ / |___| |/ /_____ | | \/ | \| // \\ \/ / \ (_____ | | | \ | U N D E R G R O U N D cDc _ _ ((___)) [ x x ] cDc \ / cDc (' ') (U) '..and none but the Bovine survived the onslaught' -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc- cDc communications -cDc- BASE SYSTEM -cDc- --------------------------- HAVE A NICE DAY ----------------------- ------------ --------- -------- ------ ---- -- - - - - xXx FUCK SHIT UP xXx - - - - - - - -- --- ------- -------- ------------ ------------------------ ......82 megs............300/1200/2400 baud......86400 seconds per day..... Prince of Monochrome SysButthead : Grandmaster Ratte' Enter account #, new user pass, or '?' for user list. Account #] 458 Finger something to mess with Roach ________________ |DOA : Ratt Fink |Fetus # : 458 |Security level : 00000000 [Worthless Leech] |Genital Scan(tm): Penis |Last date on : 03/25/94 Impressive box, huh? |Caller # : 22572 |Last user : THE NIGHTSTALKER |Total/New msgs : 15143/112 |Post/Call ratio : 142/190 (100%) |________________: Hit something to get on with Roach.. DEMON ROACH UNDERGROUND: a CULT System ---------- Thrax - Roach From Hell(!) sez-------------------------------------- If you're not weaselin' now you'll be weaselin' later, ---------- End quote ---------------------------------------------------------- [xXx] User's InsipidMessage [xXx] DANGER MOUSE says: I'm trying to think, therefore I think I'm trying to be me. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx --FASTER, FINK! KILL! KILL! KILL! No mail, huh... what'd you expect? HA! [T:100][DRU:Main] ? --Fetal commands [] DEMON ROACH UNDERGROUND [] .______|_____________________|______. |[C] Wail to chat :[D] Set display | |[F] Feed Ratte :[I] Roach info | |[N] Roach news :[O] Outta here...| |[U] Fetus list :[Y] Yo stats | |[Z] Nothing :[@] Disclaimer | | Check back in a day or so | | for access | |___________________________________| [T:99][DRU:Main] I Demon Roach Underground BBS info. file: Formerly TACNBBS, The Marauding Camel First on-line: September 27, 1985 on 64k Apple II+ w/10 megs, 300/1200 baud. cDc base as of: July, 1986 Last update: July 16, 1991 The system currently runs on: o Apple IIgs w/1792k RAM o Three 3.5" 800k drives o Two 5.25" 140k drives o Seagate 85 meg SCSI hard drive o Supra 3/12/2400/MNP5/V.42bis modem o System Saver IIgs fan/power unit o GBBS Pro 1.2/1.3j/2.1 (ProDOS) BBS software o SuperTAC 6.4 xfer system The board emphasis here is on the message bases and text files, having currently 41 sub-board areas and well over 2000 t-files. Discussion is encouraged on any topic at all, from public education to dead animal worship, telecom, and graphic violence. This is a basic explination of the board...any questions, ask the sysop. It's basically up to you, I provide the place, you do what you want with it. Any suggestions/insults, there's a place in the message base for them and all are considered. If I think it's a good idea, I'll try to implement it. 'bout it for now. GM Ratte' [T:98][DRU:Main] N {New Scan Deleted cuz it was too long. - RF} [T:45][DRU:Main] O --Go away and do something meaningful with your life. Fuck off? Fine... nobody wants you here anyway. So like... later, FINK... Come whimpering back soon like the dog you are.... Wasted 56 mins, 14 secs which could have been used more constructively by others more worthy than you. Demon Roach Underground was brought to you by the number 5 and the letter D. :-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-: ..And with a hideous scream of perverse pleasure, the Demon Roach is engulfed in the flames of his Abyss...as The Unholy One, Bob, Son of Elsie the Hell Spawned and Ruler of All Regurgitating Vertibrates, looks on with amusement at his disciple's work for The Cause and chews his cud... :-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-: Demon Roach Underground (c)1985-1994 Swamp Ratte (c)1986-1994 cDc communications Improve your life...call these boards: Cool Beans!...............415/648-PUNK Blitzkrieg................502/499-8933 Ripco II..................312/528-5020 Condemned Reality.........618/397-7702 The Works.................617/861-8976 Finitopia.................916/673-8412 Moody Loners w/Handguns...415/221-8608 Lunatic Labs..............213/655-0691 ...ACTION is power...(along with money and big guns)...stay free... "I can't be wrong... I'm elite!" .ooM GBBS Pro (C)1986-90 L&L Productions V2.1 ----- From: dfrandy6256@msn.com Subject: EVER SEE A WHORE GARGLE WITH CUM? Date: Tue, 08 May 2001 21:03:55 -0400 (EDT) To: GwD@GREENY.org ALL THE RAUNCHIEST SEX PICS YOU WILL EVER SEE ONLINE! SIMPLY THE BEST VALUE ADULT SITE ON THE NET! 3 day trial! Goto Over 200,000+ FREE HARDCORE PORN MOVIES!!! HIDDEN CAMERAS!!! - LIVE and EXCLUSIVE! SEE ALL THE HARDCORE SEX ACTION! 3 day trial! Goto 100+ GIGS OF LARGE, CRISP IMAGES ONLINE! ALL NEW steaming images added every day FREE ACCESS TO THE XXX PINKLABEL EDITION!! 3 day trial! Goto Over 45000+ SEARCHABLE EROTIC STORIES !!! 100% Fully Interactive Sex Game INSTANT ACCESS To COCK-HUNGRY TEENS! 3 day trial! Goto FULLY INTERACTIVE CARTOONS!! AMAZING XXX MOVIE ARCHIVES!! SIMPLY THE BEST VALUE ADULT SITE ON THE NET!! 3 day trial! Goto remove lisalips289482@orgio.com ******** ----- From: Yustas61@aol.com Date: Tue, 9 May 2000 23:32:36 EDT Subject: Re: Pinocchio (Oil painting by Jaisini) Jaisini, an artist of a new time and... To: GwD@greeny.org In a message dated 5/9/00 10:02:51 PM Eastern Daylight Time, GwD@GREENY.org writes: << Am I correct in understanding that you wish for this piece to be published in my e-zine, GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime (which can be found at http://gwd.mit.edu/)? If so, I appreciate the submission and will gladly publish it in our upcoming release (May 25, 2000 or thereabouts) if you will do me the favor of directing me to a web address where I can see the painting you have reviewed. If published, your copyright information will remain intact on the piece. >> Dear Editor: It's a pleasure to contribute to your site with my essay. At the moment the artist's site is uploading with the corresponding images. It may take some time before I will be able to direct you to Jaisini's site with Gleitzeit art. I am sorry for inconvenience. Please feel free to use written material. Sincerely, Yustas Kotz-Gottlieb, New York From: Yustas61@aol.com Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 22:34:34 EST Subject: You are contacted because your comments were published or going to be published To: gwd@greeny.org You are contacted because your comments were published or going to be published at http://members.aol.com/JaisiniArt/home.html The official Paul Jaisini art site. Yustas Kotz-Gottlieb New York This action is taken on behalf of Gleitzeit, Jaisini to bring high aesthetics to people. Jaisini Gleitzeit Supermodernity ----- "El Nino" [We don't remember if this has been published before or not, so here it is.] From: Chili Licious, wait, I mean Lobo Con Queso Date: 12/10/97 Time: 3:38:36 PM Remote Name: 207.43.174.87 Comments now now, el nino's busy in the tropics right now. and he won't be here at all -- EVER, unless a certain guy who's name begins with a "seth" and ends with a "the man" GETS OFF HIS ASS AND WRITES A GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING PRESS RELEASE SO WE CAN FINALLY RELEASE GwD FILES. i tell you, that man is unreliable. too bad he's so sexy. whoops, sorry. i forgot that you don't like us to use our gay innuendos out in the open. help! help! THEY'RE AFTER ME!!!! make 'em leave me be! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! woo-hoo! Lobo Licious'li Con Queso in the muthafuckin' haaa-yuse. sheeeee-it. i just need some warez. and k0d3z. and porno flick bitches. what does it all mean? i mean, first they want you then they don't then they do then they don't then they kick you in the crotch and that's that. and i'm just talking about my parents. today, i'm here to tell you about donkeys, specifically little plastic ones that are anatomically correct. ask chico cuba or bob TMoTW what i'm talking about. "behind every strong woman, you'll find a strong man." - wu-tang clan grrr. angst. revolution. From: Lobo Liciousli Con Queso Date: 12/15/97 Time: 10:49:20 PM Remote Name: 207.43.174.76 Comments yo yo, listen up. el nino ain't no fuckin' storm. it's a full-fledged PHENOMENON, and we, the GwD High Council, CONTROL IT through the use of our massive orbitting zepellin's. how do they work? none of your damn business. GwD - It's not just a movement anymore. (It's a movement that controls a weather phenomenon.) From: Lobo Licious Date: 12/27/97 Time: 1:07:45 AM Remote Name: 207.43.174.67 Comments that's it. now it's on. FOR THE LAST TIME, EL NINO IS NOT A STORM. IT IS A FULL-FLEDGED PHENOMENON. and it's not a little boy. it's named after JESUS friggin' CHRIST. he is THE little boy. he died for our sins, or so i hear. anyway, enough of that stuff. we control El Nino with our zepellins (i don't care if it's spelled right). you'd be able to read ALL about it if Seth the Man would get off his FUCKING FAT ASS and WRITE A FUCKING PRESS RELEASE so we can finish gwd55 and RELEASE FUCKING TEXT FILES. ----- "A Nightmare" by Jaffo (09-22-00) I just had a nightmare. A genuine jump-out-of-bed, turn-all-the-lights-on, bench-clearing nightmare. I was aware that by some magic, I had traveled in my sleep to a house in West Virginia. It was present day, but in my dream-state, I knew the history of the place, as if some invisible tour guide was telling me about it as I walked through in my pajamas. I started in the back yard, listening to a tale of how the evidence was found. It was 1905. The Indians came upon the place on October 3rd or 4th, the records are not clear. The found a house burnt, but not badly burnt, a woman's body smouldering in the back yard under the bushes. The fire started there and spread to the rest of the house. No one knows where the husband went, or why he killed her. In the dream, I'm standing in the yard of this old house, running my fingers through the soil where the body was. And in my dream, I am afraid. It's the fear of walking into a haunted house, all alone, with no one around for miles. I couldn't see the ghosts, but I could feel them. They were all around me, waiting to jump out at any moment and yell, "Boo!" Hiding, not to spare my feelings, but because they know, the longer they wait, the greater my fear. I stood in the back yard of this haunted house and felt somewhat safe. It was a normal back yard. Picket fence, sky and trees. A wide open space, not the dark of night but the gray hours before dawn. I could see beyond the fence to fields and a city beyond. I knew I wouldn't be trapped here, even if a ghost did pop out of the ground. Then I turn and walk inside. Every detail was vivid and distinct. The rusty creak of the back door. The strange wooden clatter as it slammed behind me. The squeak of the boards under my feet. And the furniture doesn't looked like it was burned in 1905. It looks like it was burned yesterday. Not completely. Just enough to show you it was burned. The fire went out before it could do any real damage. The house is cinged, but otherwise pristine. I walk through slowly and I know it's present-day. This place is a tourist attraction now. I see a sign and a little plaque, and a shiny commercial toilet in the back. Just another tourist trap somewhere in West Virginia. During the day, this place would be filled with suburban travelers and screaming kids. But no one ever comes here at night. In all the years since the Indians found the place, no one has ever come here at night. My fear increases as I walk through the house. Through the den and the parlour and the kitchen full of rusty things. I walk back to the bedroom and I know I'm being watched. I'm too scared to walk down the hall. That's where the ghosts are. In the bedroom, waiting for me. I turn around and run out the front door, seeking the comfort of 20th century life. I look to the city, and it's too far. It's too far to run, over thistles and rocks in bare feet. I can see office buildings and parked cars, but they're too far away. And I didn't hear the front door slam behind me... And then Michael wakes up, jumps out of bed, turns on all the lights and says, "Wow! That was really creepy. I should write this down before the feeling goes away." ----- From: newID@texas.co.jp Date: 3/21/99 8:37:35 AM Pacific Daylight Time Subject: Fast Start Program "updated" Seven Steps to the "New" You package To: GwD@GREENY.org *** This offer will expire March 24, 1999 *** Read Carefully . . . . "Seven Steps to the New You" - How To Create A New Identity It's true, in as little as seven days you can have a new name, credit file, social security number, picture ID, and be able to apply for any major credit card !!! You get the benefits of a fresh new identity in just seven steps and seven days. Sound too good to be true? >>> Fact from Fiction <<< * The Picture ID you can get is NOT a FAKE ID, it is a valid state ID like any other ID. * The Credit Card you can choose to get is NOT a fake card, it's valid just like any other. * This information is for REAL and should not be taken as a joke. * There is no law against having two names. Think you've seen this offer before? Think again, new U.S. laws now allow us to reveal these secrets previously available only to the select few in this country. Have you heard enough? Are you ready for us to release this information to you? We want EVERYONE to be able to afford this information but YOU MUST ACT NOW! This offer expires Monday March 24th!!! Don't lose your opportunity for a second chance, get your confidential identity package NOW, before it's too late!!! We have no control of how long this information will be available, SO ACT NOW!!! Our Regular Price: $59.95 Limited Time Offer - ONLY $24.95 !!! Order By Mail (Must be postmarked by 3/24/99) The Fast Start Program 1393 West 9000 South Suite 171 West Jordan, Utah 84088 USA Order By Fax (Must be faxed by 3/24/99) (Visa, MasterCard, American Express) (801) 255-8872 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Do not send your order after 3/24/99, it will NOT be accepted. Sorry, there will be no exceptions!!! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< For rush/priority shipping, include a self-addressed envelope. Please PRINT your address so we do not get it wrong and cause a delay in the delivery of your order. >>> Mail-in Order Form <<< Name: Address: City: State: Zip: Credit Card# Exp. Date: [ ] Check - mail orders only [ ] Money Order - mail orders only Disclaimer: The seller of this information will not be held legally responsible for what the buyer might choose to use this information. Auth - BTXL01 Offer by: Network Innovations Inc, a division of Worldwide Ecommerce Services Corp ----- "Stupid C.H.A.O.S. Shit" 33/50....... dslfjdlfljf Name........ Seth The Man #1 Date........ Thu Apr 18 18:32:13 1996 RE: Don't know... BY: Lucky Seven #30 Lobo's been busy with school n' stuff, but that's no excuse. I know where he lives, I say we go lynch him...or better yet, Saturday is prom night, so I say we go piss on his tuxedo and poke his date. yeah. [4] [Sub #3] Read:(1-50,^33),? : 34/50....... jsfkdl;a;jklasfd Name........ Lucky Seven #30 Date........ Fri Apr 19 04:02:37 1996 RE: dslfjdlfljf BY: Seth The Man #1 well...I don't know Lobo too well....but i think that he might laugh about pissing on his tux but he'd probably get pretty pissed off about poking his date...So do you know who he's going with is she pretty or just pokeable..? 35/50....... dslfjldsjf Name........ Seth The Man #1 Date........ Fri Apr 19 12:31:45 1996 RE: jsfkdl;a;jklasfd BY: Lucky Seven #30 poke poke. 40/50....... ahh Name........ The Red Dragon #9 Date........ Sat Apr 20 18:52:08 1996 RE: Don't know... BY: Lucky Seven #30 Well. Lobo moved to New York. He is now opposing the DOG POUND and their song about New York, because he himself has become a gangsta rap artist. He is currently dating a Korean woman that is attending Columbia University 41/50....... well... Name........ Lucky Seven #30 Date........ Mon Apr 22 02:15:08 1996 RE: ahh BY: The Red Dragon #9 > Well. Lobo moved to New York. He is now opposing the DOG POUND and their > about New York, because he himself has become a gangsta rap artist. Heis > currently dating a Korean woman that is attending Columbia University now if that was true...I'd have to celebrate...but i don't think that he's stupid enough to oppose the _DOGG_ Pound or flattering enough to date someone from columia university...cause snoop would tear him up and well the second part is just hilarious... 46/50....... aww yeah, Name........ Lobo #2 Date........ Mon Apr 22 13:14:07 1996 RE: ahh BY: The Red Dragon #9 G-Funk-Dog. > Well. Lobo moved to New York. He is now opposing the DOG POUND and their > about New York, because he himself has become a gangsta rap artist. Heis > currently dating a Korean woman that is attending Columbia University G-Funk-Error: you're wrong. yeah. i ain't moved to New Yoke yet, neee-gro. i just been there fo a while pimpin the bitches. i be back fo a few weeks n' shit. yih. she doesn't go to columbia yet, and i'm not dating her. 47/50....... Name........ Lobo #2 Date........ Mon Apr 22 13:16:10 1996 RE: well... BY: Lucky Seven #30 > now if that was true...I'd have to celebrate...but i don't think that he's > stupid enough to oppose the _DOGG_ Pound or flattering enough to date some > from columia university...cause snoop would tear him up and well the secon > part is just hilarious... awww sheeeit. what da hell's up wit dat shit, neee-gro? best recognize foo'. i'll bust a cap in yo' ass, beeeyotch. and why is columbia so hilarious, dork-boy? ----- @ @ / \ { _____} / \ / | \___/*******\___/ | \ ( I / ~ ' ~ \ I ) \ | | 0 0 | | / \ | A | / \__ _______ __/ \_____________/ _-------* *-------_ / /--- VAX ---\ \ / / ( System ) \ \ { ( ( Gremlin! ) ) } \ \ | | / / \ \ | | / / **** | | **** //|\\ \_____________/ //|\\ * '*** ***' * ***. .*** ***. .*** '*************' '*************' ----- From TheeInterNet@HotMail.com Tue Aug 12 13:23:52 1997 Date: Tue, 12 Aug 1997 01:06:19 -0500 (CDT) From: TheeInterNet@HotMail.com To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com Subject: mediated capital spectacular enemy Thee InterNet is not a collection of machines, but a social relation among people, *mediated* by nothing. Thee InterNet is *capital* to such a degree of accumulation that it becomes a machine. Thee InterNet which eliminates all geographical distance reproduces distance internally as *spectacular* separation. InterNet theory is now the *enemy* of all InterNet ideology and knows it. ----- From: "Priest" To: Chaoslan@listbot.com Subject: [chaoslan] bob tmotw is gay Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2001 01:08:21 ChaosLAN - http://chaos.greeny.org/~chaoslan Recently, Da_Toolman came to me and complained about the lack of traffic on the LAN. So, I am bringing forth a topic that should be debatable by all. Is Bob the Master of the World gay? Most would right away say, of course not, look at what a pervert he is! I mean, my God, he talks about circle jerks all the time. Therein lay the first clue. Overcompensation. He is so scared of admitting his true feelings, that he wants to be overly boisterously heterosexual to make up for it. Next clue: Most of you have witnessed the afore-mentioned circle jerks. Have any of you ever taken the time to notice the look of pure ecstasy that he has in his eyes when Oscar the Pornographer takes him from behind? For those of you who have noticed, then you have probably already wondered. Please comment on this topic and for Bob tMotW, don't hate me for bringing you out of the closet. Albeit with a gimp gag in your mouth... priest ----- ***** ******* ** ***** ********************* ***** ******************************************** ********************************************** ** * ****************************** *** **************** **************** **************** ************** ************** * * ************* * * ************ * **** *** * **************** **** ** **** ******************************************************** Have a Nice Day. ----- Date: Mon, 23 Mar 1998 17:16:28 -0500 From: matt Subject: The TechnoSurrealist Manifesto To: For Immediate Release, March 23, 1998 Technorealism Is Dead! Long Live TechoSurrealism! Disinformation, the Subculture Search Engine, Presents The 'TechnoSurrealist Manifesto,' by R.U. Sirius Treatise Heralds New Disinfo.com Feature: 'A REVOLTING! Fireside Chat with R.U. Sirius' The Technorealism Conference held at Harvard on March 19, 1998 prompted spirited debate near and far, here and there, hither and thither. Now, in answer to the Technorealism "manifesto" (www.technorealism.org), REVOLTING! executive editor R.U. Sirius has penned the 'TechoSurrealist Manifesto,' available for mass consumption at Disinformation (www.disinfo.com). Surely a rant to stand alongside The Gettysburg Address, JFK's Berlin Wall speech and that "Give me liberty or give me death" thing that the other guy said, the TechnoSurrealist Manifesto skewers the Technorealism group's screed with a considerably less "modest" proposal featuring hefty doses of satirical mischief and revolutionary mayhem. While existing perfectly well as a standalone document (much like The Bible!), the 'TechnoSurrealist Manifesto' also marks the debut of the newest feature on Disinformation, 'A REVOLTING! Fireside Chat with R.U. Sirius.' Is he Sirius? Is he for (sur)real? You'll just have to read it to find out. R.U. Sirius is best known as co-founder and original Editor-In-Chief of Mondo 2000, the first cyberculture magazine. His current website, REVOLTING! (www.revolting.com) opened in mid-July 1997 to instant acclaim and controversy. A regular columnist for Wired News, 21C, and EYE-COM, he also coauthored 'Design For Dying' with the legendary Dr. Timothy Leary (HarperEdge, June 1997). Disinformation, the subculture search engine, is located at http://www.disinfo.com. Editor Richard Metzger is also the host of The Infinity Factory webcast talk show on Pseudo Network at http://pseudo.com. Disinformation is currently preparing for the opening of its online media store, details of which will be announced shortly. Disinformation is part of the RSUB Network (http://www.rsub.com), a division of Razorfish. For more information on Disinformation, contact Matt Debenham at RLM: (212) 741-5106 x14, or e-mail matt@yeahwhatever.com. ----- Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2001 02:10:14 +0000 From: PC Privacy Subject: 23 Fired from Microsoft for Surfing Habits! Protect your Privacy today! To: gwd@greeny.org Did you know... that your computer is spying on you? Did you know for example that every click you make on Windows 98 Start Menu is logged and stored permanently on a hidden encrypted database within your own computer? And did you know there is a program that can protect you one click? http://microcomputers.at/pcprivacy Deleting "internet cache and history", will not protect you...your PC is keeping frightening records of both your online and off-line activity. Any of the Web Pages, Pictures, Movies, Videos, Sounds, E-mail and Everything Else you or anyone else have ever viewed could easily be recovered - even many yearslater! How would you feel if somebody snooped this information out of your computer and made it public? Do your children or their friends use your computers? What have they downloaded and tried to delete? Act now! And stop these files coming "back from the dead" to haunt you! http://microcomputers.at/pcprivacy You deserve a far more rewarding and safer Internet experience! Start to enjoy the benefits of a truly clean and faster "Like New" PC! Download today with no risk, guaranteed. http://microcomputers.at/pcprivacy All over America people are losing there jobs, going to prison, or worse! click on the site below to take a look for yourself, what have you got to lose? mabye a lot more than you think http://microcomputers.at/pcprivacy [GwD does not endorse this software, nor do we make any claims about the reality of the allegations made above. We merely think it's funny that we get e-mails like this.] ----- Date: Thu, 3 Dec 1998 00:43:22 -0500 (EST) From: "HOE E'zine" To: The HOE Mailing List: ; Subject: HOE #300 RELEASED! THE BEGINNING OF MY ONSLAUGHT HAS JUST BEGUN. THE HOE PAGE NOW FEATURES A BBS, NEW WRITER BIOS, AND OTHER FEATURES. I HAVE CAPTURED MOST OF YOUR PATHETIC "FREEDOM FIGHTERS" AND THEY, TOO, WILL BE HOSTAGES. Here's their latest release of revolutionary-flavored t-files (12/3/98): Issue #299-305 "POETRY EXPLOSION 2!" by Various Artists "Meet The Writers" by The HOE Staff "The BIG-ASS Story" by Various Artists "Christian Science" by Ramsey String "Harlan Ellison Responds in an Out of Context and Pointless Manner to an Equally Out of Context and Pointless Usenet Capture" by Squinky "Space People" by Aster "Rise of The Mogels, The Final Chapter" by Trilobyte AS ALWAYS, THE HOE URL IS http://www.dto.net/hoe/ AND WE HAVE FIXED THE FTP ARCHIVE WHICH IS ftp://ftp.dto.net/pub/ -- DO NOT BE STEPPIN'. PEACE OUT. -ZV ----- "Part of a 'Legend of the Red Dragon' Log" Theiving Skills Training -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The old man sits down at a table with you. "Do you know how to play the shell game?" he asks you. Without waiting for an answer, he goes on. "I'll move these shells around really fast while you try to watch which one the gold is under." You watch closely as the old man gets ready to start. Theiving Skills Training - The Shell Game -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Watch the shells closely! /ÄÄÄÄÄ\ /ÄÄÄÄÄ\ /ÄÄÄÄÄ\ / \ / \ / \ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÀÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÙ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ The old man looks at you expentantly. "Well, which one is it in?" You tell him [1,2,3]: 2 $ Theiving Skills Training -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The old man sighs discontently. "The gold was under the first shell. That's the problem with you young folks. You can't concentrate on anything, you're always on the move. You won't even settle down long enough to play a game." Other Options -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- (1) The Village of the Phoenix (2) Travel To Barak's House (3) Skill Training Center (4) The Dragon's Claw Tavern (5) The Arena Of Lords. (6) Lets Have Fun w/Math! (7) Journey to the Castle of L.O.R.D. (8) Free World (9) Kanen's Lotto Hut Whats your pleasure? : [Q] : ----- Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2001 23:59:44 +0800 From: Christine Hall To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com; stm@greeny.org Subject: LOBO.SNAKEDEN.ORG Hello, I visited lobo.snakeden.org and I noticed that you are not listed on some search engines. I am sure you can increase the number of people who visit lobo.snakeden.org . Do you know TrafficMagnet? TrafficMagnet is a unique technology that automatically submits your web site to over 300,000+ search engines and directories every month. This is a very low-cost and effective way of advertising your site. To check our prices and submit lobo.snakeden.org to 300,000+ search engines, go to TrafficMagnet.net I would love to hear from you. Best Regards, Christine Hall Sales & Marketing www.TrafficMagnet.net [as you can see above, both Seth and Lobo received this e-mail. Interesting, since Seth has nothing whatsoever to do with maintenance of lobo.snakeden.org.] ----- 46/50: . Name: Franken Gibe #1 Date: 7:16 pm Mon Dec 19, 1994 Hi. The topic I was interested very much in pursuing is the topic concerning the obselescence of the Bulletin Board System. I think this is wrong and I am sad about it very much. For instance, take this Bulletin Board System, for example, entitled The Kingdom of Shit Bulletin Board System (or BBS for short). It is a vital communications nexus and it is very popular among the young and the old alike. It does not matter that it is not part of the so-called "Information Superhighway" that is being so widely talked of in today's mass media journals and such. It does not matter because it is a good place, and fun, to be, with friends, I think, and very personal, unlike The Internet which is big and large, with thousands of so-called "users." Perhaps you yourself would care to contribute to this very important topic right here on this Bulletin Board System. That would be very good! Thank you. The "Sysop." ----- From: Seth Thornberry To: "'lobolicious@cyberdude.com'" Subject: bull shit Date: Fri, 24 Oct 1997 18:42:01 -0500 Green ninja boots are the shit. ----- ############################################################## ## ## ## Bill's K-K00l Karakter Konverter ## ## ## #####[ Programmed By: Bill Hooper - 1994 ]#################### -[Disclaimer]- You are using this program at your own risk. I claim no responsibility for any damage that is inflicted on you computed or any data. If this file is in its original state, it is free of virii, destructive code, etc... -[Introduction]- This is a VERY simple program that was written in a matter of approx. two hours, which was mostly typing. I had no real use for this program, though boredom can cause people to do strange things. The only use I could think of might be in BBS ads, if you happen to like weird text.. -[How To Use This Program]- I seriously doubt anyone will have trouble comprehending the simple commands in this program. This is due to the fact that there are no command line switches, and no real commands required. When the program asks you for the name of the input file, enter the path name of the file you want to konvert. The full path is not necessary for files in the same directory as the program. The output file is the name of the file that will contain the konverted text. If any of these entries are invalid the program will tell you so, and terminate execution. -[Possible Errors]- The only errors I could think of would be the presence of extended ASCII in the input file. The program will just leave it out in the konverted file. Can't think of any others, though if you find any, please e-mail me. -[Conclusion]- I would appreciate e-mail regaring this program, and any suggestions that you might have. If you are going to e-mail me to tell me how much this program sucked and how it wasn't worth the 5 seconds to DL, va te faire encouler. I can be reached at the following BBSs with some regularity. [Static Line] [Sysop: Acid Reptile] [Phone: (806)747-0802] [The Steel Zoo] [Sysop: Ramslammer] [Phone: (806)792-6377] Oh ya, almost forgot, you can't get rid of the little tag at the end of the file (unless you delete it), yet. [This program will be available at http://www.GREENY.org/warez/warez.html as soon as we get around to it.] ----- Date: Wed, 26 Nov 1997 00:23:34 -0500 (EST) From: Doomed to Obscurity Productions Subject: To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com Hi. This letter is for everyone on the Doomed to Obscurity mailing list, because as you might have seen or heard, Doomed to Obscurity has undergone major evolution. We now present to you DTO.NET central, at http://www.dto.net DTO began in the summer of 1995 as a text-based e-mail zine conceived by a handful of latent geeks from the Philadelphia, Chicago, and downstate Illinois areas. Since then, 23 monthly issues have brought rave reviews and high acclaim from a very small pocket of the online community. Because we believe that what we offer should be shared with as many people as we can reach, the text 'zine was converted into a web zine, with positive response. Now, we're taking the concept one step further. The types of writing that you have come to identify as DTO staples are still right here, divided into editorial, fiction, humor, and music sites. Instead of monthly releases, DTO.NET central will be updated at least weekly. Additionally, the site has been designed to encourage interaction between readers and writers. DTO should no longer feel like a production released by a few geeks from who knows where. As before, you'll still receive a monthly text release of DTO containing all the articles featured on the website in the past month, in ASCII text format. This means there's no *real* change for you on this list -- the purpose of this mail is just to inform you of the improved website and that DTO will now be releasing weekly articles there. Check out the site. Hopefully, both the aesthetics and the content of the site will be appealing - after all, this is our goal. We think we're doing a pretty damn fine job of achieving that goal, but let us know what you think about the change. We'd appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks for being a DTO reader. You should expect the long overdue DTO #24 in your mailbox this weekend. Have a good vacation. - Mogel [dto@op.net] ----- "Eagles are FUN!" /T /I / |/ | .-~/ T\ Y I |/ / _ /T | \I | I Y.-~/ I l /I T\ | | l | T / __ | \l \l \I l __l l \ ` _. | \ ~-l `\ `\ \ \\ ~\ \ `. .-~ | \ ~-. "-. ` \ ^._ ^. "-. / \ | .--~-._ ~- ` _ ~-_.-"-." ._ /._ ." ./ >--. ~-. ._ ~>-" "\\ 7 7 ] ^.___~"--._ ~-{ .-~ . `\ Y . / | <__ ~"-. ~ /_/ \ \I Y : | ^-.__ ~(_/ \ >._: | l______ ^--.,___.-~" /_/ ! `-.~"--l_ / ~"-. (_/ . ~( /' "~"--,Y -=b-. _) (_/ . \ : / l c"~o \ \ / `. . .^ \_.-~"~--. ) (_/ . ` / / ! )/ / / _. '. .': / ' ~(_/ . / _ ` .-<_ /_/ . ' .-~" `. / \ \ ,z=. ~( / ' : | K "-.~-.______// "-,. l I/ \_ __{--->._(==. //( \ < ~"~" // /' /\ \ \ ,v=. (( .^. / /\ " }__ //===- ` / / ' ' "-.,__ {---(==- .^ ' : T ~" ll -Row / . . . : | :! \\ (_/ / | | j-" ~^ ~-<_(_.^-~" ----- From: j4636@mailcity.com Date: Mon, 17 May 1999 17:14:02 +0100 Subject: Is this you To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com Are you BRITISH , or do you know a Brit whom you would like to help? If you are from UK, and now working in another country, there is probably money of yours stagnating in UK which you could be accessing and improving. We are talking about your Frozen Pension Funds New laws allow you the freedom to help yourself. You can now escape from former employers, hold on your benefits, where you are only receiving part of the growth on your funds. They are quite legally entitled to restrict the amount passed on to you and pocket the difference. Click our web site to obtain a free update and a full review of your latest options http://3634119887/www.35546778.net/ [Yet again, GwD makes no claims as to the validity of the claims above, or the effectiveness of the service listed. We just want to know why people think we're stinky-ass Brits. Uhh, and I'm lazy, so any other stuff that appears to be "advertised" in this issue is not endorsed by GwD, nor are any claims whatsoever made about whether it works as described. These are just a sampling of the weird e-mails received by your run-of-the-mill pseudo-religious/quasi- political organization.] ----- "Swordfish" SWORDFISH ARE FUN!!!! /| / | /| / | / | / \ / / ____---~~~~ ~~~~~-------_______ / | ____________----~~~ O \ ~~~~~----_____----~~ | ~~~~~~~--_____ ) _____ | __--~~~ / _____----~~~~~~------ \ ~~~~~~----_\ \____________--------~~~~~ \ | \ \ \ | \| \| ----- 50/50: . Name: Franken Gibe #1 Date: 1:31 pm Tue Jan 18, 1994 sigh. Say NO to co-dependence. Say NO to emotional entanglement and manipulation. Say NO to martyrdom disguised as victimization. Say NO to people who refuse to say NO, but wrap a noose of indifferent maybe's around yer neck and hang you high. Say NO to Bobbitry. Say NO to the hell that's other people. Say NO to the dissipation effected by the DIS. Say FUCK IT to the dime-store Victorianism that is unrequited love. Say YEAH to forgetting about it. ----- Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2000 22:15:09 -0600 From: Robert Gowdey Subject: sup To: lobo@GREENY.org This is Robert Gowdey The Red Dragon just dropping a msg lates ----- Numb : 24/40 Subj : Re: duh-duh-dumb From : Grandmaster Ratte' (#1) Date : 01/14/95 03:58:17 AM Zippy done said: ZI> we still gotta hafta feel needed/wanted etc. That makes us ZI> vulnerable and weak and worthless and we suck. Yeah, true. And it sucks. I mean, i understand that and all, but... I've been thinking about priorities and what's real and stuff. People NEED food and water and shelter. And toothpaste. ANYTHING people get beyond that, social or material or whatever, is like a blessing/gift and oughta be appreciated for the fuzzy, neato thing that it is. Say, earlier Friday night... this band i was supposed to record cancelled so I'm out some bucks 'till they can get their crap together and reschedule. Some girl doesn't like me. And I have the fucking AUDACITY to feel down about this... this FLUFF, 'cause big-fun-social-or-romantic things going on aren't just LEAPING at me. Well PLEASE excuse the world, Mr. Brat. Sheez. I should be down on my knees thanking some greater power that I've gone somewhere earlier and been warmly greeted by people I like and respect. that's somethin' hella cool right there. S. Ratte' ----- From: noogie@onramp.net (Jaffo) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: What Would Castro Do? Organization: Crossroads Entertainment In alt.religion.kibology, on Tue, 12 May 1998 03:46:51 GMT, The Barrels said: :The year is 1998. : :Suppose, for an instant, that Christ is driving north on a highway at :twenty-five miles an hour, in a 1989, grey escort lx. He's wearing a :skin-tight shirt and leather pants, along with a small, pink, :triangular patch which reads 'bisexuals are people, too'. : :Fidel Castro meets Christ to his left, travelling at ninety miles an :hour, in a 1998, red dodge viper. At least four but no more than six :women of slight promiscuity adorn his presence. : :The question which was posed to me is this: 'If Christ were to say :one thing to Castro, and then Castro one thing to Christ, what would :these things be?' CHRIST: Status report? CASTRO: On schedule. Jaffo ----- goat blowers anonymous.(215)750-0392.up to 28.8k phor phast warez! admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery staff.black francis(sysop).mogel(co-sysop).spiff(co-sysop).godd(mascot) largest t-file oriented board in pennsylvania.over 150 guitar tabs online large online collection of live virii.virii source.virii creation.anti-virus five-hundred megs of t-files.demos.bbs support.programming.virii.sound hogs of entropy whq.really elite doodz whq.people in society suck whq cult of the dead cow global domination fdo.vaginal and anal secretions distro brotherhood of gods and retards distro.ganja magazine distro.ace distro fucked up college kids distro.underground experts united distro.moose distro state of unbeing distro.greeny world domination distro.image writing distro mighty illicit liquid kollectors distro.computer abuse for better living distro immortal programming distro.cia member board.bonsainet.eat at joes ----- "What Do You Think?" - Reprinted from _The Solipsist: San Antonio's News & Literary Journal_ (December 2000) Should America Intervene in Israeli-Palestinian Disputes? Joseph Stalin: Why seek out warring nations when there is so much killing to be done in homeland? Adolph Hitler: It will all be of little consequence once my followers are able to raise me from the dead. Bwa ha ha. Mao Tse-Tung: War is the highest form of struggle for resolving contradictions, when they have developed to a certain stage, between classes, nations, states, or political groups, and it has existed ever since the emergence of private property and classes. Kill them all. Pol Pot: Once I fashioned a pair of underwear by weaving some human intestines together around my loins.... What was the question? Jennifer Love Hewitt: Eww! Arabs' balls are salty! ----- Date: 4:19 pm Mon May 8, 1995 Number : 48 of 51 From: Napalm Base : 007 was a w@r3z d00d To : Prince Locksly Refer #: 32 Subj: Re: Luke Replies: None Stat: Normal Origin : Local PL> Good shall always triumph over evil That's a naive assumption based on wishful thinking rather than experience or observation. Good triumphs sometimes, and evil triumphs sometimes. It's all just part of the ever-changing balance of the world. Good/Bad, Light/Dark, Yin/Yang, Hodge/Podge... Blah/Bleah, Woof/Meow, what have you. ----- "BATGIRL" @@ @@ @@@@@ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@:::@ @@@@@@@@@ @:::@@@@ @@:::::::@ @:::::::@ @:::::::@@ @:::::::::@ @:::::::@ @:::::::::@ @:::::::::::@ @:::::::::@ @:::::::::::@ @:::::::::::::@@ @@:::::::::::@@ @@:::::::::::::@ @:::::::::::::::@@@@@@@@@@@:::::::::::::::@@@@@@@@@@@:::::::::::::::@ @:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@ @:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@ @:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@ @::::::::::::@@@@:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@@@@::::::::::::@ @::::::::::@ @:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@ @::::::::::@ @::::::::@ @:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@ @::::::::@ @@::::::@ @:::::::::::::::::@:::::::::::::::::@ @::::::@@ @@::::@ @::::::::::::::::@ @::::::::::::::::@ @::::@@ @@:@ @::::::::::::::::@ @::::::::::::::::@ @::@ @@ @:::::::::::::::@ @:::::::::::::::@ @@ @ @@::::::::::::@@ @@::::::::::::@@ @ @@::::::::@@ @@::::::::@@ @@@::@@@ @@@::@@@ @@ @@ ----- From: lori69aaaaaaaa@edf.fr To: gwd@greeny.org Subject: DO YOU NEED TO GET OFF? Date: Sat, 24 Mar 01 16:05:38 Eastern Standard Time DO YOU NEED TO GET OFF? GOTO http://3429235685/harold001/ IF YOUR ANSWER IS YES TO SATISFY YOUR URGE!! WATCH HOT TEENS MASTERBATE DO ANYTHING YOU WANT AND CAN IMAGE! WATCH HOT EUROPEAN TEENS DO IT LIVE!! GET INSTANT ACCESS TO http://3429235685/harold001/ THE BEST HARDCORE SEX ACTION ON THE PLANET GUARANTEED!! THIS SITE IS VERY HARDCORE SO YOU MUST BE OVER 18 ----- - "Ads for a Defunct BBS" by Zippy - "Commercial firms enable subscribers using a computer and a telephone to send a message to electronic bulletin boards; a person can thus post on the bulletin board a message that is open to all subscribers. This has led to so-called electronic debates on religious matters. A Christian might be drawn into such debates and may spend many hours with an apostate thinker who may have been disfellowshipped from the congregation. The direction at 2 John 9-11 underscores Paul's fatherly counsel about avoiding bad associations." --_The WatchTower_ magazine, August 1, 1994, p17. /--------------------\ |>==<| \--------------------/ Metro line 806.###.#### SysOp 0 * Zippy SysOp 1 * Poppy ----- /\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\ \ >=club.baby.seal<= / \ ------806.###.####------ / | This ain't no BBS where | / Jesus is Lord \ /________________________________\ /-----------------------------------------------------------------------------\ |Je$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ai| |n'tJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u/----\LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| |sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| |ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| cl |LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| |$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| ub |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| |ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$A/-----------/ ba \-----------\'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| |sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLor³PCBoard15.21 by ChiaNetR0kkz|e$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| |ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$A\-----------\ se /-----------/'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| |sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| al |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| |ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| 80 |LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| |sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| 6# |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| |ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| ## |LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| |sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| ## |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| |ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| ## |LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| |sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| |ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u\----/LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| |Je$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ai| \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------/ ----- "The Donkey and the Elephant" a "parable" by Priest (Pre-Election 2000) The question put to me sounds rather complicated. "Considering the current topics of debate by the two presidential candidates, which form of organization of government do you believe is more apt to provide needed leadership in these topics?" In essence, what I plan to do is this-I will use planned actions for issues by both candidates to show which form of organization will be the most effective in the years to come for America. I think that sounds much easier to follow, with no slight of hand, or exaggeration on my part; we will leave that to the candidates! First, the possible forms of organization for the government of the United States of America. "A confederacy is a union of states, which retain all sovereignty. The authority of the central government is derived from the states which can, at will, redefine its authority." (Patterson, The American Democracy, pg. 60) This basically says that in a confederacy, the states keep all the power of government and no power rests at the national level; in other words, no central government. A unitary system, by way of contrast, is the complete opposite. "In a unitary system, all regional and local governing units are subject to national authority. The people are citizens or subjects only of the national government and the other governments derive their authority from the national government, which can, in theory at least, abolish them or redefine their authority." (Patterson, The American Democracy, pg. 60) That seems pretty cut and dry in that all power rests with the central government and the local or state government retains no power except what the national government deigns to dole out. And finally, we come to federalism, which is a blending of the two. Patterson, once again, states the following, "Federalism is the division of sovereignty, or ultimate governing authority, between a national government and regional (that is, state) governments. Each directly governs the people and derives its power from them. (Patterson, The American Democracy, pg. 59) With that taken care of, we move on to the candidates and their platforms. Since the donkey strikes first on the alphabet, we will discuss Al Gore first. The only issue we will discuss is education and the reason is this: with what Gore wants to accomplish, only one form is usable, therefore rendering the other two useless. Gore wants to raise enormous amounts of money and use it to hire more teachers and in doing so, lower the number of students per classroom. "Gore will finish the job of hiring one hundred thousand qualified teachers to lower class sizes in the early grades...Gore's plan will provide funding to help raise teacher salaries in school districts that commit to improving teacher quality." (The Official Gore-Lieberman 2000 Website) Since Education is something that is currently handled at the state level, and since Gore's new funding would be provided from a national standpoint, then clearly a separation of power is needed. Since neither is currently handled from just one level or the other, then to change one or the other would be most unbeneficial. From Gore's platform, only federalism will do the job. Unitarianism, and especially confederacy are simply not up to the task. George W. Bush makes our task even easier. When concerning his plans for the environment, he openly states his need for federalism. "As President, Governor Bush will maintain a strong federal environmental role but will return significant authority to states and local governments." (The Official Bush-Cheney 2000 Website) Governor Bush believes that the state governments have a greater ability to enforce standards set by the national government. However, without a strong national governmental role, the states would not be required to enforce said standards. One could not function without the other. Once again, Unitarianism and Confederacy would not be up to the task. Although it is too late to make a long story short, I will try to briefly summarize. Of the three types of governments possible for the United States, Unitarianism, Confederacy, and Federalism, only Federalism is the best and therefore most likely choice for the future of America. By the simple examination of only one of each of the candidates' platform issues, we see that each candidate requires strength at both the state and national level. Only Federalism has the necessary separation of powers. Federalism, the choice of a new millennium. ----- #XXXX\\ #/---` ###XXX// - \\\-##= - \\\ ##XX///-` ` -- \\##- \ \\ ###XX//- = \ #/ - - \\ ###XX//- # #= = = || ###XX |##- / #X- ==|| ##XX /(((#\ /(()))))))))))|/ ##X| | #-/ | | ||=====\\) ##X| | #-/ | | ||------ \) #|| | #- | | || | | \|| | | | | || | | || | | | | || | | || | | | | ||_______/) || | | | | ||=====//) || | | | | || || | | | | || \| | | | | |/ ===| | | |==== =============== ----- 50/50: . Name: Franken Gibe #1 Date: 7:00 pm Fri Dec 30, 1994 I was looking at the Zlog because IT IS NECESSARY TO TRY TO FILL THE VACANT YAWN AT THE DEAD CENTER OF MY LIFE, and discovered to my delighted melancholy, or melancholic delight, that on July 19th, 1994, there were fifty-three posts executed on the / Name: Number Crap Programmer: Lobo Desc: Register another program, and get this invaluable util for FREE! Ver: .01 Name: K-RAD CL0CK Programmer: Lobo Desc: Another FREE util with registration.. Ver: .01 Name: Disk Access Programmer: Bill Hooper Desc: Protect access to your computer with more than a password program, but allow people to have access disk to enter your system... Multiple return values allow batch file calling with variable results. Supports 99 users.. Reccomended for security conscious people. Ver: .01, .05, .1 Name: The F___ing Censor Programmer: Bill Hooper Desc: Thinking of taking text files to school, but afraid of getting in trouble for the language present? If you said yes, this program is for you! Quickly and easily dashes out all words specified in a updatable data file! A must for any person who wishes to spread the knowledge, without the punishment.. Ver: .01 Name: The Quick Label Programmer: Bill Hooper Desc: Do you find yourself repeatedly typing long headers and footers on textfiles of yours? Do you incessantly hit Ctrl-Ins And Shift-Ins, cutting and pasteing your text file group headers? This program is for you! The Quick Label Will Swiftly Add either a header or footer, loaded from an external file, to a specified text file! Works great, less filling!(uhh..ya) Ver: .01 Name: Multi Encrypt Programmer: Bill Hooper Desc: Not Released Yet... Offers A simple encryption, capable of foiling amature hacker/crackers.. Ver: N/A Name: Warez Writer Programmer: Bill Hooper Desc: C0/\/\/3r+ Y0|_|r +3x+ F!l35 +0 +h!5 \/\/@r3z +3x+ Q|_|!c/