=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= with no caring -------------- someone... something... somewhere must be laughing its ass off. i find myself very frequently thinking about just what the hell we are. it could be that we're a completely natural, but random chemical reaction that just happened to take place on this arbitrary rock in this dark, sparkling void. there could be a divine being, possibly several divine beings who were overflowing with love and creativity, and just had to make a universe out of it. it could be, though, that we are under a microscope being watched by some sick fucker who created this species to bitch and moan and burn up fossil fuels so that he/she/it may learn, and teach its kind about what it is to be disgusting. imagine that any, or all, of these possibilities is true. that still doesn't explain much of anything. we're still a greedy, sloppy, stupid, bitchy, dull, brainwashed species, and we have no clue why. i'm not at all grateful for my existence, and those of the other billions of people on this planet. why should i be when my favorite sitcom got pre-empted for the state of the union address? and why do they have to broadcast it on every channel? politicians suck! they're all dirty and corrupt, or so i've been conditioned to believe. wouldn't matter either way. i need someone distant to hate. kill whitey! you can't oppress me! women's rights! gay rights! animal rights! free tibet! peace in the middle east! no new taxes! oh god these potato chips make me feel fat. i'd blow my brains out if i could find them. so, all of a sudden, a chemical reaction occurs. it spends the next 20 or so years being controlled by an ape or two, who were brainwashed beforehand to believe that certain things are "wrong" - such as pornography, obesity, sugar, and opinionated youth; and that other things are "right", such as standardized education, tolerance, parental supervision, and broccoli. the apes have no idea how to care for this young chemical reaction, although, for their entire existence, they had these universal guidelines to follow. out of all the things they were conditioned to accept, the reasons behind the universal guidelines' existence and common acceptance were never revealed. no one knows how these things start. people may scapegoat time, but i believe they arose more like the bible. tangent: on a beautiful spring night in bethlehem, some drunken men were sitting around a campfire, breaking things over their heads, when a tradition was born: the first to fall asleep would have a nasty trick played on him. and, of course, good ol' joseph the lightweight passes out first, becoming history's first party victim. the other four partygoers plotted out their devious plan.... back then, there wasn't a whole lot else to do besides plot against people, so these four lushes devised a long, and very detailed ploy. in brief, one of the four sedated and fornicated with joe's wife, mary. nine months later, the other three dressed up like idiots and brought shiny rocks and smelly things to the manger where mary, who didn't know what the hell was happening, was giving birth. they claimed to be wise men. the lush who had done the deed dressed in white and said he was a divine messenger sent from the Origin of Everything, more commonly known as God. and so on... anyway, ape 1 and/or ape 2 spend about 20 years guarding their young chemical reaction, making sure that no one gets close enough to implant an opinion in its head not preset by the universal guidelines. they were, however, conditioned to trust public schools. to make a long, and extremely well known story short, we live, we burn fossil fuels, we die, and we pollute this rock with lacquered wooden boxes which hold our corpses. we're planted on this rock. we don't know why, and most of us are perfectly, stupidly happy not knowing. with no caring, we putt along, not minding being completely oblivious, and completely useless. this includes me. i can't deny the fact that i still want, and love, even knowing that it doesn't matter. i'm as human as any of the drones around me, and just as brainwashed. i sometimes have to remind myself to think. it's disgusting just how human i am, and how i can go about my merry business just like everyone else. i'll say i'm not like everyone else. i'm not like anyone else. but i can just as easily talk about trivial bullshit and how important it is to me. i imagine this as my inner unrest-the question i am always asking. but hell if i know the answer, or the question for that matter. i could fall in love with this turmoil. i want to forgive myself for being human, but that seems like an unreasonable request. at the same time i want to believe that i'm not, or that it's not my fault. i realize now that i can't stop myself from feeling, needing, and wanting. i refuse to accept this as a fault i must mend. sarikei =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". 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