=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Something Original ------------------ He always wanted to make a mark on the world. To affect people. Somehow he always managed to cheer me up when I was feeling blue. In the end, that wasn't enough. My brother and I grew up in the barrio, behind the train station. I remember when we used to put quarters on the tracks and watch the iron horses chasing each other over the tracks, pounding the coins into flattened disks of metal. A fortune in silver. He poked a hole in one and made an amulet once. Miguel kept me out of trouble in those days. Our mother put the fear of God into him in that respect. I was to go nowhere without his watchful eye until I was old enough to lift the groceries by myself, at which time I was deemed "old enough" to watch out for myself. But he kept watching over me anyway, my guardian angel. We got along better than most brothers, though we did have our share of fights. Little things. Insignificant. Pointless. Our mother was so proud. She moved here from Mexico, working hard to support us. She would never let anyone make her feel small, even though she had no schooling. She could speak little English, but she was an intelligent woman. When we did poorly in school she would scold us, and when we did well, praise us. She always stressed the importance of learning English well so that people would not look down on us or think we were stupid. Miguel and I studied hard and learned. I didn't know why, but Miguel became more and more quiet through the years. He studied harder and kept up with all of his work outside of school, but he became more serious about things. He became more critical of himself. It was a stressful time for us all because of it, but he pulled through. He seemed happier and more lighthearted as his high school graduation approached. On the morning of his graduation, our mother kissed Miguel and told him how very proud of him she was. She bundled us into the car to go to the ceremony, and he surprised me by letting me sit in the front. He sat stiffly in the back seat but grinned as if he had a secret. At the concert hall where the ceremony was to occur, we parted: Miguel with the rest of his graduating class, and we in the rows behind. I heard the students joking, laughing, asking each other, "What are YOU going to do on stage?" The school filmed every graduation and every year someone had to do something completely crazy on tape. It was a contest. They still talk about it to this day. He stood and walked forward in the line of graduates. When he was almost due to step up on the stage, he looked back at us and I was surprised to see tears standing in his eyes, where before he had seemed so carefree. When they called his name he stepped up, turned to the camera, and reached into his black graduate's gown. I think everyone was too shocked to move or to try to stop him when he pulled out the sawed-off shotgun and put the barrel under his chin. I was. I couldn't move, though every cell in my body was screaming at me to run to him, to hug him to me and tell him it would be OK, that he didn't have to do this. He looked at us and said he loved us. And said goodbye. -steve =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back = = issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK = = FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids = = FTP.DTO.NET /pub/zines/fuck = = FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK = = WWW *** http://www.sekurity.org/~fuck *** = = http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho = = http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html = = http://www.simunye.com/fuck = = http://www.dis.org/se7en/fuck = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=