=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Crime and Punishment -------------------- James is a 22 year old black male. He works 6 days a week at a local health care facility, taking care of mentally retarded adults. On his days off, James likes to play basketball. One day, the weather is so nice that James decides to walk to the court. While taking a shortcut through the city park, 3 police officers confront James and arrest him. It seems that several minutes earlier, a woman was victimized by a purse snatcher. Though she's not entirely sure, the woman positively identifies James anyway. RESULT: Although they aren't entirely convinced, the jury convicts James anyway. He is currently serving the 3rd year of his 5 year sentence. Walter is the CEO of a large airline. For several years, he has been falsifying reports and purchasing black market equipment in order to save money. One day, his luck ran out and one of US-Global's plane's crashes, killing 128 people. The families of the victim's file a class action lawsuit against US-Global. Walter has the best team of lawyers that money can buy. The plaintiff's have the best lawyer minimum wage can buy. RESULT: US-Global is found at fault and Walter is forced to pay fines of $60 Million, almost 2% of US-Globals $2.5 Billion dollar profit last year. Stacy is a 16 year old heroin addict. She turned to drugs when she was 13 to escape the turmoil of her parents divorce. Her father routinely beat her mother and Stacy was forced to watch this since she was 2 years old. One day, Stacy is buying some crank when the DEA bursts into the room. Stacy is caught in the crossfire and a bullet strikes her spinal cord, paralyzing her from the waist down. RESULT: Stacy is sentenced to 5 years for heroin possession. She is released after 3 1/2 years for good behavior. Homeless and unable to get a job due to her paralysis, Stacy eventually commits suicide by slicing her wrists with an old tin can. Her obituary consist of 4 lines. 2 more than the number of people that show up at her funeral. Julio is a small town drug dealer. He began dealing to help pay his college tuition and eventually dropped out because there was more money to be had in narcotics than in accounting. One day, while selling heroin to a young girl named Stacy, Julio is raided by several DEA agents. Julio manages to kill three agents before running out of bullets and surrendering. RESULT: Julio is let out on $75,000 bail put up by his suppliers. He then leaves the country and goes to South America where he works his way up through the ranks until he raises to the head of operations of a new branch of the Fernandez drug cartel aimed at hooking European pre-teens on narcotics. Michael volunteers for several charitable organizations. He also coaches the local soccer team and is president of the PTA. At the urging of several friends, Michael runs for mayor of his town. Realizing how popular he is within the community, no one runs against him. Michael is elected unanimously and immediately institutes a war to free his community of drugs. One evening, several members of the local branch of the Fernandez drug cartel come to Michael's home and make it clear that if he doesn't end his little turn war, his family will suffer. Michael promptly has them arrested and is hailed a local hero. RESULT: All but one of the drug dealers are let off on technicalities. 3 days later, Michael and his 8 year old daughter Anna are killed in a gang land style shooting. Bill is an elected official. He regularly cheats on his wife, using his position of power to intimidate women and coerce them into bed. He also abuses alcohol and participates in illegal business investment schemes. One day a South American gentleman offers to provide Bill with a large sum of money in exchange for a bit of Bill's political influence. RESULT: Bill uses the money obtained from Senor Fernandez to run a largely successful media blitz. He is eventually elected to the president of the United States of America. Senor Fernandez is quite happy with his investment. Crime Pays. Anyone who tells you otherwise, wasn't a good criminal. -InVerse inverse@mos.com =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". 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