=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The World Has Turned -------------------- And left me here, just where I was before you appeared. The words of a not-so-heard of and not-so-popular Weezer song ring through my head. It's late now, by societies standards. Late night NBC programs are bieng broadcast over my television, giving off nearly the only light in my darkened room. Things are changing so fast. Physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. There is a fine line between what remains constant and what is always changing. I am trying to iron out this line in my life, the process is not at all easy. Physically, I find that I am spending more and more time poised in front of my laptop. I find myself on this box at odd hours of the night, rambling off my thoughts once again for the masses. Excercise is at a minimal. It seems as if I fear the light of day. Friends I used to spend a great deal of time with have been reprioritized to fit my nocturnal computer-user schedule. Even at night they are shunned. They rant because they cannot contact me, maybe I'm trying to tell them something. Nonetheless, physically I am changing. I am becoming the master of my own activities. Whether this is for the good of all remains to be seen. Mentally, I am making giant gains. I have increased my stature in the hacking community tremendously. Also, I am actively partaking in a course on Signalling System 7 and am foraging ahead into the wonderful world of the telephone network. I find myself reading at least a book a week, and enjoying doing so. For once, I feel as if I am a mental giant in my own world. No one will be able to force me to think of myself as inferior, a world of knowledge exsists. And, I have acquired the key to it. I will not let it slip away. Emotionally, much is changing. The one that I felt I should pity-date no longer has feelings for me. I'm not sure if this makes me uneasy, or if these makes me liberated. It's a tough decision to make. One that I have sought after for quite awhile is right there for the snatching, perhaps. It'll take a tremendous leap of courage to approach her, but I believe the advance can be made. The other her doesn't know about the one I desire, and possibly still thinks I value hers as one of the highest relationships in my life. Indeed, she is quite a valued friend, but does not hold the power she once held over my heart. The spell of the old wizard that so enthralled me has once again come to be. I need to get a plan worked out, and I need to make a decision before someone, including myself, gets hurt. Socially, things are staying pretty much the same. Though, my increasing ability to stay in front of my computer for long periods of time has cut-down on the amount of hours I spend attached to the phone partaking in conversations with my friends. Somehow, I don't miss them. I see myself fading back into the world of machines, and it scares me. The thing I need to work on is changing my view of the world, and the people that inhabit it. It will take a strong center, but I feel I can accomplish any goal I set my mind to. Achieving social perfection is just activity to be checked off. Spiritually, things are back on track. I nearly was re-attracted into the Occult, but I believe I choose wisely and rejected its dogma. Though some choose not to believe in my gods, I am once again affirming my faith as a Catholic. But, just because I'm a religious person doesn't mean that I don't take responsiblity for my life and how it goes, my life is of my making. It's just nice to know that the big guy upstairs is looking over my shoulder and giving me a pat on the back when I feel alone. So, here I am again. Dark ringlets forming under my eyes. Coke cans discarded on the floor. Disks littering my desks. About to flip a coin, as some other writers do, to check to see if this will ever be released. Heads it is, mailto jericho@dimensional.com... -DropComm =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". 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