:::. :: :istorted :::' Text File #3 :::. Amphetamine Gobbler ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ :: :igital ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ 13 February 1994 :::' Mongoloid Telecom :::: ::. rection :::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Greetings to all of our LOVELY friends in modem-world! What a swell one we have here... ohhhhh boy. We have been goin' CRAZY... goin' NUTS because ... it's Friiiiiiday! Friday! Aazah! Ok, the first person to identify that will receive many massages from me.. Oh, Christ. So, I guess its ramblin' time... But FIRST! I wanted to say "Yo, whassup" to dat white-boy but still a boy - no, DA boy!- Spirit of Entropy... what wonderful reviews his Modem Wrestling Federation file had on the masses... the masses of molasses... and also a hi-ho to Milton Berle... who didn't like my t-file as much as SOE's but still felt bad... so enjoy the name drop, sugar... its the only one you gonna get! ... er sumthin. Ok, now that this is out of the way I wanted you to all to just enjoy something... this is just for your pure delight: ÜÜÛÛÛÛÜÜ ÜÜÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÜÜÛÜÜßßÜÛÛÛÛܲ²²±±²±ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÜÜÜÛÜÜÛÛßÛÛÛÛßÜÛÛÛÛ²²²²±²±ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÜÜÜÛÜÜÜÛÛßßßÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛßÛÛÛÛ±²²²±²±ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÜÜÜÛÜÜßßßßÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ±²²²²±²±ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÜÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛßÛÛÛ±²²²²±²±ÛÛÛÛÛ ÜÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÞÛÛÛ±²²²±±±ÛÛÛÛÛ ÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ±²²²±±±Û²²²² ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ±²²²±±±Û²²²² ÜÜÜÜÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÜÜÜÜÝÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²±²²±±±±²²²²² ÛÛÛÛßßßßßßßßßßßß ÜÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ±±±±±±°±±±±±±± Ûßßß ÜßÞÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²²±±±±±±°±±°°°°°° ÜÜßß ÜÛ Þ²²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²²²²±±±±±±°°±±°°°°°°° ÜÜÛß ÞÛÝ ÝÛ²²²±²²²²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²²²²²²²²±±±°±°°°°°±±°°°°°°°° ÜÛÛßß ß ß ßÛ°°±±±±²²²²²²²²²²²²²²²²²²±±±±±±±±°°°°°°°°°±±°°°°°°°°° ÞÛß ßß°°°°°°°°±±±±±±±±±±°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°±±ßßßßßßßßßßß ß ßßßß°°°°°°°°°°°°°ßßßßß ßßß Isn't that just a MONSTER? Damn! Ok, let's move to the point of this little eensy-beeny text file. This is going to be a short one. That's all there is to it. I was swirling about the arch-nemesis, shall we say, of our entire way of life - Canton Connection - when I noticed something so silly. But before I get to that, can I just say: "Of course?" That's what I thought when I read THIS on the famed Wall: Will the Girls be table dancing on the tables at the picnic? I think the Tcc Girls are a wild group of modem users:) Geez... what a picnic THAT'LL be! Anyway, I was looking at something on TCC and thought: Jesus, man, that's propaganda! Check it out: Date: Thursday, February 3, 1994 12:01pm /Hello From: Chaos Msg#: 136484 To: ** ALL ** Re: Some Stats for TCC (1 reply) Here are some ineteresting statistics that I have gathered about our system, and how many calls and downloads it has per day. CANTON CONNECTION BBS Average calls per day: 162 Average Downloads per day: 74 Average Meg's Downloaded per day: 22 MEGS Messages per day (Local and Net): 549 These figures are spectacular! Thanks to all the people who make TCC a part of thier life, our average calls per day is at 162! If everyone just spent 1/2 of an hour online, that would be 81 hours of use packed into just 24 hours! Just look at it like "We pack over 3 DAYS worth of use, into one day!" Another nice number is our 74 DOWNLOADS per day. Some times, I have seen that number go as high as 160, from our CD's alone! When we figured the number of MEGABYTES we transfer each day, it came to 22 MEGS. Just look at it like "We fill a whole 20 MEG HARD DRIVE each day!" Messages per day is a really high number. This is due to the amount of mail/messages that we get from out MailLink areas. When you combine the private email with our local forum messages, that adds up to alot of mail! Ohh and BTW, we also handle over 170 TELEGRAMS per day! :) Chaos (R)eply, (E)mail reply, follow (T)hread, (P)revious or (N)ext message? -- Ok, now by reading that, you would assume that TCC has over 500 local messages a day - which would be roughly 5 times that of the Necropolis. Now, a prudent user would stop and think, "Geez, I only read about 5 messages a week on here from the local subs. They must be getting around 544 MailLink messages." BUT! Note that Chaos did NOT separate local from echo in the stats. And why is that? Well, let's just find out. Taking a peak into the MailLink logfiles, we can discover that: 02/05/94 05:45:10 MAILLINK ACTIVE Version 2, Revision 6 02/05/94 07:34:18 MAILLINK DIALING Dialing on Line (hex) 08 02/05/94 07:35:22 MAILLINK CONNECTION @ 38400 Our system connects to (UPD) 02/05/94 07:40:46 MAILLINK PACKET RECEIVED 496101 bytes in 258 seconds, 1922 avg. CPS 02/05/94 07:40:54 MAILLINK PACKET FOUND Packet from (UPD) inprocess, 496101 bytes 02/05/94 07:41:02 MAILLINK PACKET BUILT Sending to (UPD), 7 msgs, 6106 bytes 02/05/94 07:41:14 MAILLINK PACKET SENT Sent to (UPD) a 6106 byte packet 02/05/94 07:41:16 MAILLINK CONNECTION ENDS Connection ended normally for (UPD), 345 seconds total 02/05/94 09:09:56 MAILLINK PACKET ENDS 554 msgs processed in packet 02/05/94 19:13:10 MAILLINK ACTIVE Version 2, Revision 6 02/06/94 00:27:06 MAILLINK DIALING Dialing on Line (hex) 07 02/06/94 00:28:56 MAILLINK TIMEOUT ML: 6 A:0 B:0 C:0 02/06/94 00:30:20 MAILLINK DIALING Dialing on Line (hex) 08 02/06/94 00:31:24 MAILLINK CONNECTION @ 38400 Our system connects to (UPD) 02/06/94 00:33:06 MAILLINK PACKET RECEIVED 172504 bytes in 69 seconds, 2500 avg. CPS 02/06/94 00:33:22 MAILLINK PACKET BUILT Sending to (UPD), 6 msgs, 6423 bytes 02/06/94 00:33:24 MAILLINK PACKET FOUND Packet from (UPD) inprocess, 172504 bytes 02/06/94 00:33:38 MAILLINK PACKET SENT Sent to (UPD) a 6423 byte packet 02/06/94 00:33:38 MAILLINK CONNECTION ENDS Connection ended normally for (UPD), 129 seconds total 02/06/94 00:59:42 MAILLINK PACKET ENDS 164 msgs processed in packet Now, look closely. There were 164 messages in the latest packet. PLUS... the 554 that is also listed up there. Now, I'm no math wizard, but that's a lot more than the 549 that Chaos quoted! So, we can deduce that TCC has a NEGATIVE amount of local messages a day, on the average. Do you SEE what it has come to? Oh God- I beg for the days of honesty... and truth... and justice... free love... cheap bud.. Then I thought: well, geez. Sorc posts whenever there is a NEW record in posts ... isn't that propaganda? Maybe. But when Sorc does it, it is with a more pride issue .... rather than a subversive form of convincing people that tons of local messages are posted a day! BUT! One lone vigilante ... who we all know and love but not by this handle ... stood up amount the herds of common cattle and spoke the voice of truth: A user known as Falstaff asked: "How many LOCAL messages, though?" Just look at the double-talk answer he gets! E-mail, MailLink, local, ahh... huh? Date: Sunday, February 6, 1994 8:40am /Hello From: Chaos Msg#: 138229 To: Falstaff Re: Some Stats for TCC (Reply to #137416, Reply to #136484) FA>Subj: Activity FA> Just our of curiosity, how many messages a day (average) does this FA>BBS create locally? Just wondering. I assume you mean how many our OUR LOCAL users write messages. Well, that would be easy to figure. Its close to 120 message created locally. EMAIL takes a good part of that, plus the local foums have about 10 or 15 a day if you read them all. So , yes, I would say that 115 - 120 message per day WRITTEN on Tcc (not inclunding Newtwork). Chaos :) (R)eply, (E)mail reply, follow (T)hread, (P)revious or (N)ext message? Oh, so there are 10 - 15 messages posted on ALL the local forums.. BUT BUT BUT 120 messages a DAY WRITTEN ON TCC! WOW! 120! Whatever. I think we all can see through this idiocy. Thank you, boys... and have a good one. PROLOGUE -------- This file was written from 4:30am to 4:45am after a night of homosexuality, bisexuality, occultism, black hairdressers and raving dwarves with lead pipes. You can imagine how hard it was. HEY!- Don't give up yet! Coming soon: More TCC exposes! More fun! And PLUS .... the story of Bill, the lovable guy that is just bubbling with excitement and intrigue! Remember - submissions are accepted. Send 'em in. Stand up and say: "Hey... I'm better than everyone else. I write for DDE." `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`' Distorted Digital Erection February 1994 Text File #3 DDE is fully supported on the Necropolis BBS 216.966.8970 - subterranean telecom - All TEXT! vaginal yeast infections are worse, much worse.. Submissions are accepted. Send your t-file submission to Sorc, on the Necropolis. If using a new account, (I)nclude the file with the New User Application. CHECK for MORE Distorted Digital Erection in the NEAR future! TCC in CHECK! ... and assorted tales of erect rodentia!... `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`' -eof-