...and there'll be songs to sing in a dog-eared fake book. Hey, Bif Naked. What -- Ever. \ /\ / \/ \/ 235 0008052055 , _ || ' What is < \, =||= \\ the color /-|| || || of pain (( || || || is it \/\\ \\, \\ democrat or republican? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - axl rose, can you say anagram? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - dedicated to author Epcot Fitzgerald Hello there, I'm prime anarchist, and I'll be your sewer guide through this, the music industry as it stands. One forNicATION, indistinguishable, under gold, with Faberge, and just us for all. Jenifer Love Hewit. Pinky swearing Marie Osmond that she'll go on the Screamer for her 21st (did you say 27th?) alcohol-free birthday party. Um, can you say affected??? The 597 words you can't hear on CD. "Earlier in the day, eight arrests had been made at a much smaller demonstration outside city hall as protestors denounced the Army's School of the Americas and blocked traffic by lying down in the street. The 597 words you can't hear on TV. "The school, at Fort Benning, GA, has long been the subject of complaints that it trains Latin American soldiers in combat methods often used in human rights abuses to protect dictatorships. The demonstrators opting for non-violent civil disobedience, were accomodated by the police, who made fast arrests." --NYTimes 1Aug00 pg a17 The 597 words you can't hear in a movie. Federal law provides for a $432,964 fine for tampering with the smoke detector in this lavatory. The 597 words you can't hear in print. BP Amoco - Beyond Petroleum Beaucoup prices, Boistrous and petty, Badly polluted, Barely positioned, British privy, bogus pride, Bush plummets, Butthead proliferates. Prime Anarchist will levy a $7 surcharge against anyone insisting on choosing the word "lavatory" verbally or in print Hasbro +1/8 Seagrams -7/16 TRIVIA QWESTION -=- Which band members have sued each other more times in their 40 year histories. Jefferson Airplane/Starship/Volunteer/Balin Kantner or John CreedenceClearwater/UpAroundTheBend/Revival Fogarty or does it even matter? Delta Airlines - Ready when you are. Home of the world's smallest #1 plastic bottle of spring water. 8 ounces of pure Amerikan TruthInAdvertising abuse. "The sensor-activated video screen jumps to life when you assume the position at the urinal." [i'm not making this up] -- adbusters aug/sep 2000 p 16 You are watching ENN. (Elevator News Network) "He says he remembers your bra hanging from the cockpit." --flight attendant on her cellphone waiting in Cincinnati for the plane to get cleaned. (not making THIS up either!) Mary is her name. I've never stayed on a plane between flights before. Quite the experience. Now Mary's complaining about having had to clean up baby barf. Quite a caste system we've built here, huh? "We don't clean THAT," she says motioning first to the girl in charge of carpet sweepering the floor and changing the garbage bags, then motioning finally to the guy who's replacing the sodas and springwaters, sandwiches and bags of peanut. I've concluded once and for all that the purpose of any airline is to sell books and magazines. I'm on my first one hour plane delay in a very long time. There are more book stores in here than people, methinks. Noah, of ark fame is a complete typographical misprint. Just thought I'd better tell you. It's rather how Wisconsin people pronounce "No." Noah. No. I'm prime anarchist, and I said all that. #'s http://www.mp3.com/stations/marcos_ampstuff http://www.freshpoetry.com/slamamerica http://www.hoe.nu/twbs/twbs03.txt http://www.dkp-ml.dk/mp3/folk.htm http://www.webzine2000.com http://www.slaminatrix.com http://www.dsl.org/copyleft http://linux1285.dn.net/napster http://www.playwrightstheater.com http://www.subrevolt.com/index2.html http://www.ravenswoodinc.com/edit.htm http://musicdish.com/genome/index.php3 http://www.bbzzz.com/musings/sysop.html http://www.contentbiz.com/sample.cfm?contentID=617 http://www.objector.org/before-you-enlist/myths.html http://www.ardmoreite.com/stories/070198/liv_salsa.html http://www.phoaks.com/phoaks2/newsgroups/comp/society/cu-digest http://www.hpoo.com L E T U S The shutdown of Napster has been brought to you by the RIAA, original sponsors of HR 2911. HR 2911 would have added a tax on blank tapes and recording equipment. The proceeds would have went to the record companies in the "war on piracy". Just wanted to let you know. Patrick (662) Hey - just saw 231, one of the funnier ones I've seen in a while. I've never written to you I don't think, though I've read yer 'zine forever since the BBS days now and then. I'm the guy that started the cDc thing. You're out in Rhode Island? I was wondering if you're planning on attending 2600's 'HOPE' convention thing here in NYC in a week? [ati wasn't able to go to this OR webzine2000.] [hopefully next year. burning man neither...] If so, you should introduce yourself. Jello Biafra is doing the keynote speech and we're gonna do some crazy show thing on Saturday, it should be a hoot. Anyhow- just wanted to say I've been digging ATI. G. Ratte'/cDc to ati@etext.org Shut the fuck up T.J. Pianto to ati@etext.org I saw your listing on the internet. I work for a company that specializes in getting clients web sites listed as close to the top of the major search engines as possible. Our fee is only $29.95 per month to submit your site at least twice a month to over 350 search engines and directories. To get started call our toll free... Mike Bender [dear mike, look at where we sit in] [the search engines, then consider] [how much we paid (0.00), then refer] [to what the last reader suggested.] [no, never mind. I did not say that.] [[smile]] Dick Cheney, the added-value candidate. Think I heard his daughter is gay... any reality to that? Akira [seems to be. interesting which pundits it matters to and which ones it doesn't.] WE DON'T DO MUCH WITH 4-WARDED SCHTUFF, BUT THIS 1 HAD "ADDME" WRITTEN ALL OVER IT! >leaders of the Evangelical Laodicean Church in Canada last week >announced the publication of a new hymnal. "This is truly a hymnal >for the new century," said Presiding Bishop Luke W. Armm. > >"This collection of hymns really captures the essence of our tradition," >Bishop Armm explained. "At the core of our belief is the motto, >'Moderation in all things,' and that applies to our faith life as well. >We just don't like to get carried away." When asked if the new hymnal >will help the Laodicean Church attract new members, Bishop Armm >replied, "People in today's society get kind of uncomfortable with too >much talk about things like commitment and dedication. They'd much >rather have a religion that they can turn on or off at will. Our church >seeks to meet that need. This hymnal will help with that, I think." > >Editor in chief of the new hymnal, Priscilla ("Presh") S. Moment, >explained some of the difficulty the committee had in choosing hymns. >"Many of the old favourites just won't cut it among Laodiceans," said >Moment. "We had to change a lot of the wording to make them fit with >our style. We tried to incorporate some new songs into the book, but we >had trouble finding Laodiceans interested in writing new music." > >The title of the new hymnal, Church Songs, was chosen very carefully, >explained Moment. "We didn't want to turn anybody off with threatening >words that no one understands any more like 'Worship' or 'Hymn.'" Here >is a partial list of titles included in the new Laodicean hymnal: > > A Comfy Swedish Mattress Is Our God > Above Average Is Thy Faithfulness > All Hail the Influence of Jesus' Name! > Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound > Be Thou My Hobby > Blest Be the Tie That Doesn't Cramp My Style > Go Tell it on the Speed Bump > He's Quite a Bit to Me > I Lay My Inappropriate Behaviours on Jesus > I Love to Talk about Telling the Story > I Surrender Some > I'm Fairly Certain That My Redeemer Lives > It Is My Secret What God Can Do > Joyful, Joyful, We Kinda Like Thee > Just as I Pretend to Be > Just as I Am, with Lots of Excuses > Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word > My Hope Is Built on Nothing Much > My Faith Looks Around for Thee > O, God, Our Enabler in Ages past > Oh, for a Couple of Tongues to Sing > Oh, How I like Jesus > Onward, Christian Reservists > Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me > Praise God from Whom All Affirmations Flow > Self-Esteem to the World! The Lord Is Come > Sit Up, Sit up for Jesus > Spirit of the Living God, Fall Somewhere near Me > Take My Life and Let Me Be > There Is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today > There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings > We Are Milling Around in the Light of God > What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus > When Peace, like a Trickle > When the Saints Go Drifting in > Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following & ON THIS WEEKEND IN HISTORY: [thank yous to Dustbunny] All in the Family's Carroll O'Connor, who played the beloved Archie Bunker is 76 today. Tony Bennett, is 74. James Hetfield of Metallica, is 37. Cult movie director, Kevin Smith, is only 30. Baby. 1951 - "I've Got You Under My Skin," entered the pop charts. 1979 - The Knack's Get The Knack, goes Platinum. Then they kinda fall from existence, sort of. I mean, everyone knows the song "My Sharona," but they could've been a bigger band, no? 1986 - Weird Al Yankovic records "Addicted To Spuds" and "Living With A Hernia." 1996 - Another group that sadly went out of existence is Los Del Rio. Their "Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix)" was #1 on this day on the pop charts. I remember going to my friend's prom and having to learn that dreaded dance. I can still do it, and I'm sure that you still do it when you're alone in your room. Don't lie. 1975 - Only because he's a genius, David Bowie's "Fame," entered the Top 40 chart. 1986 - Only because they're Christians, Stryper's "Live In Japan" video was released. 1991 - Only because they sucked, Metallica's Metallica album was released. 1962 - Marilyn Monroe found dead of apparent self-inflicted drug overdose. Beat Generation Godfather, William S. Burroughs, died this weekend in 1997 at the age of 83. Sock Puppet Godmother, Shari Lewis, died on this day in 1998 at the age of 65. [side reference]-[http://cosmos.lod.com/~ati/ati76.html] (someone just informed me I mixed her up with the) ( romper broom lady. oh well... ) And now, another ATI quick TAB. AA, CC, GG, AA. AA, CC, DD, AA. [voiceover:] When you want dirty football socks to look their whitest, just use twice as much GAIN. So what for eczema, athlete's foot and diaper rash. axl rose. OK, one last hint axl rOSe one more? ok: 374 2156 And we end this ATI with a poem reprint. ****** ******** ******** ** ** ** ** ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ******** A Commercial Interlude by Pete Dolack Come on down! We've got the best selection around! No defense contractor can beat Bombs 'R Us Heat-seeking missiles, tanks, spy planes - we've got 'em all Whether you're installing a puppet government or eliminating enemies of the state We're making deals like crazy At Bombs 'R Us, our customer satisfaction is guaranteed our weapons will kill more people than our competitors' weapons Or double your money back Don't forget our 1960's Nostalgia Night next Friday When Napalm and Agent Orange will be 50 percent off Dress like your favorite South Vietnamese dictator and we'll throw in a free pistol holder And don't worry about your citizens finding out what you're up to Because we've extended our 2-for-1 special on all shredders Autographed by Oliver North Bombs 'R Us Our killing is insane! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Send anything to: ati@etext.org Go ahead, you know you wanna... Get back issues of our Zine at: http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/cygnus.html and remember the yiddish proverb, "a thousand corporations can tie down a Rosie O'Donnell..." ****** ******** ******** ** ** ** ** ******** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ******** OK... One more. Same writer! this 1's called: "Coke Isn't It A trip to the supermarket to buy a six-pack of coke What could be simpler? I turn down the soda aisle There are shelves full of coke Which should I get? There's classic coke, new coke, diet coke, Okay, I'll grab some diet coke Then there's caffeine-free diet coke, classic diet coke, low-sugar diet coke, new diet coke This is getting more difficult than I thought Okay, I'll just buy some caffeine-free diet coke and get out of here, but wait, there's low-sugar caffeine-free diet coke All right, this is it I reach for the low-sugar caffeine-free diet coke I'm finally done No, it cant' be It is Sweat starts streaming down my face as I see strawberry low-sugar caffeine-free diet coke, cherry low-sugar caffeine- free diet coke, classic low-sugar caffeine-free diet coke, and orange low sugar caffeine-free diet coke I didn't know what I was going to do until I saw a sign Can't decide?, it said, We can help Dial 1-800-coke -- cola counselors are standing by It was my only chance When the operator came on, I almost couldn't speak It was just too much Don't worry, the soothing voice said We'll put you in touch with a diet coke specialist The counselor listened to my story She said we're recommending a consumer training class And you're just in luck, there's one convening this afternoon I took down the address and headed over Several people were already seated when I arrived But a few minutes later, an armed guard closed the door And locked it. Someone wearing a paramilitary uniform stood at the front Nobody leaves this room without submitting their will to coke You will know the difference between the different cokes You will drink only coke You will spread the word of coke to all you meet Every waking hour will be spent in the service of coke I knew I had to find a way out but security guards ringed the room so I tried to create a diversion I stood up and said, 'I have reason to believe there is a pepsi lover in our midst' A gasp went up from the crowd as a man turned toward me and admitted to once drinking a pepsi Take him away! the leader screamed Security guards grabbed the man and took him away for interrogation It was now or never as I charged the window and leapt through An hysterical voice on a loudspeaker called for all hands To hunt down the escapee as sirens blared I ran as hard as I could to escape the dogs Finally, out of breath and thirsty, I wound up at the same supermarket This time I decided to avoid the coke aisle I asked the stock clerk where I could find bottled water Oh, do you want bottled water with carbonation, bottled water with low sodium, bottled water with lemon, bottled water with a lime twist, Before he could go further, I ran out of the store and headed home Where I decided to stay until Presidential Election Day Because then there would finally be no choice.