------------------------------------------------------------------------------
all mail received has had headers and signatures removed with the exception
of:
        a) fakemail
        b) mail through anonymous servers
        c) certain special cases
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
note: grayarea has given countless hours of help in putting this magazine
together along with the rest of the CdC crew.. i apologize that so much time
has been taken out of her busy life to help out with the magazine.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
cult of the dead cat / cult of the disposable camera / cult of the drying cum-
stain / cult of the dead canary / cult of the dead chihuaha / cult of the dead
cadillac / concentrated drag:::::::::::::::::::cweenz / cult of the douche con
dom / cult of the dope cut /::XXXX::XXX::XXXX::cult of the dressed cabbage / c
ult of the dumb comedian / c::X:::::X::X:X:::::ult of the deadly carbonated_be
verage / cult of the dead ca::X:::::X::X:X:::::nine / cult of the dumb cow / c
ult of the disheiferist clep::XXXX::XXX::XXXX::/ cult of the duplicated copy /
clean dildos in a cab / cows:::::::::::::::::::drowning cows / cult of the dum
b cult / cult of the dildo that can / crowning dead corpses / cult of the disp
osable condom / cyber doodical c / can dogs croak? / cult of the dead cornflak
e / cult of the distinct color / cult of the dead crib / CULT OF THE DEAD CAT!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 _ __/|
 \'X.X'  Cult of the Dead Cat, Inc (c) 1992-1994
 =(___)= Funky Assed Niggahz who fORGOT the Vaseline (c) 1992
     U
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SEND ALL COMMENTS, QUESTIONS, ARTICLES, MEATLOAF, 'JESUS LOVES ME' STICKERS,
GIFS OF GRAYAREA'S OVARIES, PHOTOGRAPHS OF MERC'S PENIS, PEABOY'S JEWISH CAP,
UPT'S PASSWORD FILES TO...
        upt@bud.indirect.com
        imedia@tdn.net
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome to Issue 208 of Cult of the Dead Cat!

"Grayarea nevah evah evah smokes dat CRACK!
 Pick up her magazine from off dah RACK!
 Wearing tablecloths around her BACK!
 She thinks that all the hackers are MO'BLACK!"
                                -G-NUT/CdC

Issue 207 was thrust upon the Internet and we got a great response. Grayarea
(dumb b1tch who bettah have my money!) gave me a call earlier regarding the
issue.

Mahatma: Hello?
Grayarea: Hello Mahatma, God of Programming and ALL things. I did as you told
        me to! I did good master! I distributed issue 207 to everyone and it
        was fun. I can I do it again?
Mahatma: You call me to tell me that you did something good? Dumb b1tch, you
        bettah have my money!
Grayarea: Oh master Mahatma, God of Programming and ALL things. I worship you
        so. I am not worthy to speak to a computer GOD like yourself. Can I
        kiss your feet?
Mahatma: Dumb b1tch, you bettah have my money!
Grayarea: But.. But..
Mahatma: <CLICK>

I guess that went well. Anyway, look for Cult of the Dead Cat to rock the
Internet once again.

In this issue:
     1. Letters (and shit) to the Editor! Featuring: GRAYAREA-PHOBIA!
     2. CdC EVENTS - FLYER BASTARDIZATION!
     3. Analyzation of the underground culture based on logoff comments
                on CdC's powah-house board. This tells us everything we
                need to know about hackers.
     4. Where to obtain issues!
     5. Dah Komputah Act!
     6. The moment of truth - *** responds to CdC allegations!
     7. Another moment of truth - is *** gay?
     8. CULT OF THE DEAD CAT AS A RELIGION
     9. carding for deprived citrus
     10. the new CdC bank card!@#
     11. LOSING MONEY AT MC_DONALDS

==========CDC ARTICLE 1======================================================
Dear Mahatma, grayarea is a
<?someone?:#hack> child molesting, dope smoking, broke, deranged bitch

*CdC says*
        We all know that netta is a child molesting, dope smoking, broke,
        deranged bitch. She says so in her magazine!
                                                    
Date: Wed, 2 Nov 94 12:34 EST
From: m3rc@!hackme.now.spam.phreak.mil

Hey n1ggah! Wuzzup?

*CdC says*
        Could this be? Is merc back on the net and does !hackme.now.spam.
        phreak.mil really exist? Finger it everyone! See if its true! We
        here at CdC don't know how to do that so its impossible for us to
        see if its true!

Date: Oct 27, 1994 at 9:34p
Subject: Cult of the dead cat

You guys are a bunch of fucking faggots and flamers who are trying to make
the information superhighway a piece of trash. I wish you guys who put your
fucking publication somewhere where it will get some use like the recycling
bin!

*CdC says*
        Thanks! We enjoy our homosexual activities and really love netsex.
        Even grayarea and theora enjoy having netsex with us. Thanks for the
        compliment, we are glad that you think our publication is worthy of
        the great 'leet bin!

Phone conversation with Swamp Ratte':
        Mahatma, you are truly 'leet. I am glad that your message of great
        salvation through masturbation reaches the whole world.

*CdC says*
        My b1tch is throwing the message everywhere. Pretty soon, clinton
        himself will have it! N1ggah!

From: <Anonymous Hackah>

You n1ggaz a/>3 wr0ng! Haquz d0n't uze slang when they talk, n1gga. Dat
Theora b1tch is a n1ggaj00 w3rd, we d0n't uz3 slang!@#

*CdC says*
        w3rd. 3y3 agr33

From: <Anonymous Hackah>

Did you guys hear that merc is getting married? His lover goes by Bubba.
Bubba's brother is desperately seeking Peaboy as well since he has a brother
in jail with him.

*CdC says*
        Yeah, I am invited to the ceremonies. Merc has been walking around
        with his finger in Bubba's beltloop. He looks sexy.

From: <Anonymous Sysop> posted on Usenet

Posse is back. There have been numerous attempts to exploit the rdist bug on
my WWIV bbs. I am sure this is the Posse and not just a bunch of losers. I am
scared that all my childporn gifs will be deleted from my bbs. Please help.

*CdC says*
        To fix the rdist bug on WWIV all you need to do is lubricate your
        disk drive. Lubrication will stop the Posse and other evil hackers
        from trying to crash your bbs.

From default, Thu Nov  3 @ 8:33p
Subject: GRAYAREA

Grayarea is a good person. I hate how idiots like loki and everyone else
completely discredit her. I wish they would all just mind their own business
because she minds hers.

*CdC says*
        read on..

Date: Fri, 4 Nov 1994 12:40:17 -0500 (EST)
Subject: grayarea comments for CDC

please, refrain from using my address n'shit if this message gets published.

grayarea is a nice person.  i do not see why so many people hate her.
i guess those people are suffering from opposite-sex-o-phobia or something.

*CdC says*
        Ok, thanks for the comment. I completely agree. I'll publish the
        letter along with a score of others who are supporting grayarea and
        what she is trying to accomplish.

        Thank you for the comment,
        Mahatma Mcaf33, CdC

*M0'* Is there this great phobia of grayarea? I have no idea. Your comments?
        Also, why does this person wish to remain anonymous? For fear that
        because this person supports grayarea she'll get banned from IRC?
        Hasn't happened to ANYONE CdC related.. not even some of her most
        hostile supporters.

Date: Mon, 7 Nov 1994 22:04:36 -0700
From: m1tn1ck@!hacked!.whitehouse.gov

I am entering my vote on the Grayarea/Netta Pro or Con discussion.

I say PRO! She is the m0st l33test w0man on irc, and I think she is an excellent
 journalist. I think her presence on IRC has left a great influence on hacker cu
lture, in giving us an eye to see ourselves though. Or even an 3y3.

You may use my name and full email address (heh!) in the article, please do,
even though you planned not to use them.

Also, I would like to say HELLO to all of my FanZ out there k33p up
th3 caUs3.... HACKING IS NOT A CRIME!

m1tn1ck.

*CdC says* Its nice to know that some people are paranoid of grayarea. For
        some reason, it seems that only the narcs and complete lamers in the
        scene are the ones who are messing with grayarea.

        People who hate grayarea (are there any? i guess not since no one
        has enough balls to send us a letter) send in letters! We want to
        hear your side of the story!

Date: Mon, 7 Nov 1994 22:09:55 -0700
From: T0MTH3TURD@deadchiuhuahua.deadcanary.buttlick.deadkat.k0m

TH1S 1S T0M TH3 TURD AT MY L33T N3W N3T S1TE R3ACHABL3 AT 127.0.0.1 AT L3AST THA
TS H0W 3Y3 G3T T0 IT...  3Y3 L0V3 N3TTA SH3 R0KZ MY PANT1ES!!!!!!!!!

*CdC says* TOM! Its nice hearing from ya. How's it been? Glad to hear it!
        Get on those phones, make those sales!

Subject: netta gillboa, aka-grayarea
Date: Tue, 8 Nov 1994 04:16:45 -0500 (EST)

Yoh, [ANONYMOUS] here,
        I hear you are doing a peice on netta, well...
keep my name out of this, i do like to remain as neutral as possible,
however netta has been an okay person over the past year that i ahve  known 
her.  At tiems she  can be a  littel bit paranoid, however what do you 
expect from  somone who lived  through the sixties with all the 
drugs and oppression by the state.  I trust her enough  to know where
my real address is, and i have wellcomed her into my home on several 
ocassions.  as a matter of fact her and my fiance' are getting along just
fine.  Mostly i find the negativity related with her name to be one of many
things.   a) the fact that she is press scares many people
          b) the fact that she is  a bit paranoid feeds the sharks
          c) the fact that this whole net-h/p/a- world is a new and unexplained 
phenomonon in american culture, and those who master it, i am sure, are at times
atleast afriad of the potential the press may cause.

        To be honest with you, i can believe that all this crap happened for several
reasons: netta is an open honest, caring person.  Hackers consider themselves,
and many are, rejects form a society that doesnt understand or give a flying fuck.
netta is press, netta can show the world the true side of hackers, and for some
fucked up reason certain hackers, whom will remain nameless, are  afraid that
netta's power would destroy the image they have tried to keep.  and well
ya know how certain hackers wish to keep the BAD/EVIL Hacker image alive for
thier own ego trip...
honestly, netta knows many things about my personal life that i would not
trust to many of the people  on #hack/#phreak/#bah hell to anyone who
can finger me  or  look up my www page.  imho she's kuhl.
did  i say enough :)

*CdC says* Can't agree with you more. I don't know how many times me and
        grayarea sat on irc for endless hours talking about love, cars, spam,
        and random personal philosophies. She's one of the few people who I
        have not met (except over the net) who I can truly say I know quite
        well -- well enough to completely trust her.

        IMHO she's k-kuhl'n keen and pretty spiff!

Date:    Tue, 08 Nov 94 02:52 CST
From: Jim Thomas (tk0jut1@mvs.cso.niu.edu)        <TK0JUT1@MVS.CSO.NIU.EDU>
Subject: An unsolicited note about grayareas & netta G.

I heard via the grape vine that you're doing a special issue on
Netta Gilboa and Gray Areas, so I thought I'd take the liberty of
dropping ya this unsolicited note 'cause of her great rep among a
lot of us.

Gray Areas is a great magazine. We put out Cu Digest, and Netta
will occasionally send some of her material over to us so we can
run it.  GA covers stuff that nobody else does, and she's taken
some heavy risks in laying out some of the info. Guess it angers
some folk, but she's a pretty good journalist and one of the best
interviewers around, and calls 'em like she sees 'em, and that
takes class and courage. Netta's a pretty neat person, if you
don't mind red-heads, and maybe that's what got her a great
interview with GG Allin before he OD-ed. Her interviews for GA
have covered stuff from hard-core bikers to porn stars, not to
mention Barry M, the long-forgotten dude from Country Joe and the
Fish, and a bunch of others. She's the Barbara Walters of the
counter-culture Mag scene. And cool.  She took on The Well last
year, head-on, which took some nerve, but she pulled it off.  If
you want any more info, I'll be happy to pass along glowing
accolades for one of our favorite people.

Thanks for listening,


Jim Thomas / Cu Digest

*CdC says* Thanks for the comments. Its nice to know that others feel the
        same way I do about netta!

Date: Tue, 8 Nov 1994 09:51:39 +0000
From: Roth Tamas Aladar <aladar@aladar.pmmf.hu>
Subject: GRAYAREA

Hi,

  I heard on IRC that you're interested in ppls opinion on Grayare (Netta 
Gilboa) ....

  If you can use my opinion here it goes:

    She's a kind person who is really helpful. It's good to talk to her, 
she always in silence, but sometimes she's talking quite a lot.
    I could talk to her on many topics, including life, viruses, etc.
    She's not a person like many on irc who has ideas such as some ppl 
can't join some channels, if i'm banned she'll unban, i'm sure ...
    

  That's what i know about her, if you need a bit more infos on her such 
as her deeper personality, just ask, what i know i'll tell  ...

*CdC says* Grayarea has always been helpful to me as well. I can't stand
        people using GREYAREA or others SIMILAR nicknames when she is online
        and harassing her. Ouch... Thanks for the comments.

Subject: grayarea

thoughts on grayarea <netta gilboa>
well, i've conversed with her on the net for over a year now....when i 
first met her she was being tormented and crucified by IRC users that had 
a grudge with her. for many of months i had a perception of her as some 
evil nark who had a beef with hackers.
well, tima had passed and i slowly got to know her......i came to learn 
she is a real sweet person and she has a lot of character. i not only had 
made a new friend, but some one i really became fond of.
she runs a magazine and spends a lot of het time devoted to it.
as i reflect back on my third year on the internet, i think to my self 
that she has been a important part of my life in cyberspace and along 
with a select few others on the net. if she ever decided
to give up IRC, i think that a part of my life would be diminished.

*CdC says* Yeah, I myself had originally heard about her when someone said
        that we should invite her to the Neutral Territory section on UPT.
        I did. I let everyone know that she had full system access (as good
        as any hacker) but I was met with unfavorable responses. Certain
        users started leaving me mail asking me what I was smoking.
        "WHAT THE!!?? WHAT IS >>SHE<< DOING HERE WITH FULL ACCESS??!!"
        I did not know her at the time so I lowered her access. I thought
        about it, gave her a chance and before she even called for the first
        time her access was back to FULL again. I trust her fully.

>>THOUGHTS ABOUT GRAYAREA FROM UPT!

Anonymous Hacker from UPT
Subject: Re: responsibilities
Date: Sat, 08 Oct 94 21:14:17 PST

John is for sure a character. I don't know about him though. Do any of 
you guys have any contact with grayarea or theora? I am wondering about 
them. They seem to be too interested.

Anonymous hacker
Subject: Re: responsibilities
Date: Sun, 09 Oct 94 15:28:58 PST

I know both Grayarea and Theora, not sure what you mean by 'too 
interested'.

Anonymous hacker
Subject: Re: responsibilities
Date: Mon, 10 Oct 94 01:20:01 PST

Grayarea and Theora are really cool. I like to mag. Especially the 
interview with the Well hacker.
Anonymous hacker

Subject: Re: responsibilities
Date: Wed, 12 Oct 94 00:32:38 PST

Whats that supposed to mean? I don't know theora but grayarea is cool and 
puts out a great magazine.

Subject: Re: responsibilities
From: root@gail.upt.org (Invalid Media - System operator)
Date: Wed, 12 Oct 94 12:53:43 PST
Organization: (Newsgroup) alt.neutral

> Whats that supposed to mean? I don't know theora but grayarea is cool and 
> puts out a great magazine.

I like Grayarea and she is regarding as a really cool person among all 
the people in my area.. 

--
Invalid Media           upt@bud.indirect.com [primary]
                        upt@cyberspace.org+  [secondary]
                        imedia@tdn.net       [secondary]

Anonymous hacker
Subject: Re: responsibilities
Date: Thu, 13 Oct 94 16:12:36 PST

I don't think they are. I think grayarea is a bitch.

Anonyomous hacker
Subject: Re: responsibilities
Date: Thu, 13 Oct 94 17:34:35 PST

> I like Grayarea and she is regarding as a really cool person among all 
> the people in my area.. 

I regret to say that I have had different experience with grayarea.  
There was a time when she got so upset from being kicked off #phreak on 
irc by a particular individual, that she mailed his sysadmin about it.  
The letter is printed in BoW #4 if you would like to check it out.  The 
offending individual was U4EA, but I mean really it is irc not real life. 
In her letter she said things like "you have a hacker on your system" 
etc. and it was his legitimate university account.  Now that's just pure 
bullshit on her part.  She made claims such as his kicking her being 
damaging to her business and that she was consulting her lawyers.  U4EA's 
sysadmins basically told her they didn't give a shit about IRC anyway.  
She even made further attempts beyond that to get him investigated by 
local area police.  Now I'm sorry, but this type of shit is ridiculus and 
I can never have any respect for her magazine as long as I live because 
of her actions.  She is unprofessional, egotistical, and just plain 
whiny.  Nuff said.

Anonymous hacker
Subject: Re: responsibilities
Date: Thu, 13 Oct 94 23:40:52 PST

> I like Grayarea and she is regarding as a really cool person among all 
> the people in my area.. 

Grayarea has the biggest ego I have seen though. She thinks she's the 
leader of the "other side" and the most representative of the hackers. I 
don't really trust her.

Anonyomous hacker
Subject: Re: responsibilities
Date: Sat, 15 Oct 94 12:51:36 PST

> > 
> > I like Grayarea and she is regarding as a really cool person among all 
> > the people in my area.. 
> > 
> I regret to say that I have had different experience with grayarea.  
> There was a time when she got so upset from being kicked off #phreak on 
> irc by a particular individual, that she mailed his sysadmin about it.  
> The letter is printed in BoW #4 if you would like to check it out.  The 
> offending individual was U4EA, but I mean really it is irc not real life. 
> In her letter she said things like "you have a hacker on your system" 
> etc. and it was his legitimate university account.  Now that's just pure 
> bullshit on her part.  She made claims such as his kicking her being 
> damaging to her business and that she was consulting her lawyers.  U4EA's 
> sysadmins basically told her they didn't give a shit about IRC anyway.  
> She even made further attempts beyond that to get him investigated by 
> local area police.  Now I'm sorry, but this type of shit is ridiculus and 
> I can never have any respect for her magazine as long as I live because 
> of her actions.  She is unprofessional, egotistical, and just plain 
> whiny.  Nuff said.

Get the real story straight before you start making half-informed 
statements.  Netta was being fucked with by some people on IRC, and
not for jsut kicking her off #phreak.  Apparently they were harassing
she and her husbands business to an extreme degree.  If you have ever
owned a business (which I would wager you have not) you would know that
if someone is fucking with your phones, you are losing free access to
a valuable tool (in publishing often the _only_ tool) you need to conduct
business.  She was totally justified in trying to rectify that.  She may
have gone a little overboard in accusing various people, but if someone
is fucking with you and you are getting desperate, I can see how it would 
happen.

I would figure I know Netta a fair bit better than you, and to call her
egotistical or whiny is ridiculous.  To call her unprofessional is 
absurd.  She was being nothing but professional when she was trying to
figure out who was fucking with her business.

I find it really funny the kind of people who want to jump on the 
nark-calling bandwagon based on some inaccurate information gained 
from IRC.  And don't give me some sob story about u4ea.  He is a piece
of shit and most likely deserved it.

Anonymous hacker
Subject: Re: responsibilities
Date: Sun, 16 Oct 94 16:59:03 PST

> I find it really funny the kind of people who want to jump on the 
> nark-calling bandwagon based on some inaccurate information gained 
> from IRC.  And don't give me some sob story about u4ea.  He is a piece
> of shit and most likely deserved it.

Now, now... Ok maybe calling her unprofessional, whiny, and egotistical 
was going overboard based on what I know of her, but I'll still never 
trust her.  You DON'T mail someone's university sysadmin and sick your 
lawyers on them because they seem a likely candidate for being the 
so-called "business-damaging" culprit.  I didn't give you a sob story.  I 
gave you what I know to be true.  Maybe a little too much personal 
assumption on my part but all I know is that you can trust VERY few 
people anymore, and grayarea isn't one in my book.  If someone is fucking 
with your business, you call your local police, not the nearest irc 
puppy's sysadmin.  

Anonymous hacker
Subject: Ok
Date: Sun, 16 Oct 94 23:40:26 PST

Don't you think grayarea should be here to defend herself?

*CdC says* Wowsers, UPT is mixed among support/hatred for grayarea. Now if
        these people would be willing to backup some of the accusations!

Subject: Netta
Date: Wed, 9 Nov 1994 02:49:06 -0500 (EST)

I heard a net.rumor you were looking for comments on Grayarea
and I decided to respond.

Netta and I met at HoHoCon at hit it off immediately.  We talked
the night away, and continued well into the next day.  It is so
difficult to find people who are intelligent enough to be worth
talking to, I was very happy to meet Netta that night.  It was
the highlight of that years HoHoCon for me.  

There are many words to describe Netta.  She is highly intelligent,
and yet very emotional.  Hot tempered, yet level headed.  She
has one of the best analyticial minds I have come across, yet
she becomes emotionally involved with everything she analyzes.
Netta is a strong female who has succeed where most people of
either sex would fail, yet she is sensitive to peoples perceptions.
Netta is shrewd and tough in business, yet she is warm and caring
to her friends.

I am quite happy to have Netta as a valued friend.

Date: Wed, 9 Nov 1994 13:15:02 -0500

Dear CDC,

I am glad that you have decided to run a piece of GrayArea
again. I have known GrayArea as a netfriend for a while. I
think she is one of the finest ladies on the net today. She is
not your everyday ordinary woman but a woman with a sense of
purpose. WIth fierce determination, she has documented every
aspect of the Underground life ranging from S/M mistresses to
brilliant hackers. It is difficult to bring out a publication
which deals fairly with all aspects of life especially with
some egomaniacal hackers. GrayArea does provide a well
balanced view without letting personal proclivities creep into
reporting. I really think she is doing a stellar job and
deserves glowing praise.

It is unfair to pick on her as a "Nark" or "Bitch", etc .. I
think she is doing a more constructive job than most people
she reports on. 

I will flash anyone who thinks otherwise :)

Date: Fri, 11 Nov 1994 02:28:51 -0800

     I have been informed that you are writing an article seemingly meant to
judge a good friend of mine, so I will tell you basically how we met and how 
I feel regarding the current attitude towards her.

     I met Netta (grayarea) at Hohocon last year, as she was talking to 
people in the lobby of the Hilton and selling her magazine.  I had heard that
Urnst Kouch (a man I had worked with when I wrote for the Crypt Newsletter)
had an interview published by her in Gray Areas, and was curious about it.
I asked her for a copy of that issue, and read it.  Later that night, I
was called over to a group she was chatting with by a man who had recognized
some of my work and so I began talking to them.  

     After Hohocon, I talked for many hours with grayarea on IRC and found
her to be an engaging conversationalist.  At any rate, I watched much of the
war between her and some of the hackers that took a dislike to her, and
found it ridiculious.  Hackers, originally, existed to learn, and to exchange
their ideas and information - to me, this is what the entire game is about,
to learn and to share.  As I watched, a slew of hackers (if you wish to call
them that) came out to bitch about her "prying" and decided to retaliate 
against her for being curious without being a hacker herself.  I find this
ridiculous, especially since through her magazine she provided many hackers 
with a gateway, if you will, to express their ideas, beliefs, and whatever
they wished to talk about to a far larger audience and with a far lesser bias
than any other media had to my knowledge.  As far as her being a narc, no.
She tried to fight back at times when people attacked her in ways that I found
rather demeaning to hackers as a whole - by abusing their talents against a
rather harmless and defenseless target, but she was not a narc.  In fact,
anyone that has followed the events around her at all will recall that she
has defended some of the hackers that have harassed her the most, refusing
to give information to the officials and the like, and has kept her word
whenever she has promised not to divulge information to others.  This
happened in the events following the Well break-ins and the sharing of the
email gleaned from said system.  I only hope that others can set aside much
of the childish bullshit that has been spread throughout the community 
recently and talk to her, to find what I have.  I respect Netta in the 
fullest, and am proud to know her as a friend.
  
Date: Wed, 16 Nov 1994 01:39:53 GMT
From: nobody@nowhere.com

H0H0H0H0H0H0H0!!!!!

THIS IS SANTAH KLAUZ 3Y3 W1LL BURN Y0U AL1VE!!!!

PH3AR M3!!!!

TH3R3 IZ N0 3SCAP3 F0R Y0U!

H0H0H0H0H0!!!!!!

- CULT 0V TH3 D3AD CAT TAZK 4C3
     S00PAHP1MP1N3L33T HAQ UNIT
     BYTCH BETA WATCH YO BACK!!

W3 W1LL TAK3 OV3R H0W DAR3 YOU 1M1TAT3 US!!!#@!!]

BTW!@# GRAYAR3A IS A B1TCH!

*CdC says* Come now, grayarea a b1tch?

From: anonymous cDc member (yes, a cDc guy here!)
date: Wed, 9 Nov 94 18:05:37 EST

[top part edited out]

   The other thing was to say a bit about Grayarea. I've known her on-line for
over a year now, and first met her at last year's HoHoCon... Overall, My 
impression/opinion of her is very positive... I think she gets a lot of flak
in the scene for a lot of reasons... two big ones are that she is both a 
woman and journalist.. Both of which are things that have, traditionally, been
viewed with suspicion in the CU... Journalists because they tend to make hackers
out negatively... and Women because... well.. They're women.. Hacking has 
traditionally been a boy's game... And with people like Cori and Noelle to 
reinforce this fear... I think that is a prejudice that will stick for a long
time. 

   But in any case. My opinion of her IS very positive. I find her very 
professional as a journalist, and quite a nice person to boot. I think all the
narc/whatever rumors are complete bullshit... and after being in the scene 
for as long as I am, you tend to develop a sense for these things (call it 
survival instinct..)...
 
If You want to know anything else, get back to me.

Date: Thu, 17 Nov 1994 03:50:57 -0500

Grayarea, the Editor/Publisher of Grayareas(TM) magazine is a wonderful
woman, and friend of the people involved in the underground of cyber-
space. Not only a friend of us, but also of those who are not in the
establishment. She is a voice for those who would otherwise not have such.
Personally, I have spent some time with Grayarea, at cons and other social
events, and she is definatly good people. Those that are not worthy of print
have tried to bring her under the microscope of scrutiny, for no reason other
then her being a female and trying to be apart of cyberspace. As for Grayareas
magazine, all I can say is keep up the good work and crank out more issues.
==========CDC ARTICLE 2======================================================
+------------+
| CdC EVENTS |
+------------+
CdC has gone insane!

We took a flyer... CdC comments within []'s

Set Free [a church]
Party in the Park
Free Music
Free Food
Sunday Nov. 6th
Sunday Nov. 13th
2 PM
Tempe Beach Park
West of Mill Ave on First St
Come as you are!!!!
[background: pictures of homeless people, skinheads, joe college, etc]

WE BASTARDIZED THE FLYER!

Set Free
with
CdC
and the SET FREE CHURCH
FREE: music by DJ Jesus XT and the 12 Superpimps
      drugs
      underage women
      sex
      KY Jelly
Party in the Park
Free Music
Free Food
Sunday Nov. 6th
Sunday Nov. 13th
2 PM
Tempe Beach Park
West of Mill Ave on First St
Come as you are!!!!
Event sponsored by The Angry Street Preachers Association and the Infamous
Cult of the Dead Cat. Please bring your own farm animals, nitrous bottles,
and [rest of flyer cut off due to speedy photocopying! DAMN!]
[background: pictures of FLASHING M.C. - a flasher.. M.C. ANIMAL HUSBANDRY -
including a graphic picture of a man sticking his penis inside of a sheep.
the man says "Baby got back!", the sheep says "Baah Baah BAAH", picture of
a man licking a baby's bottom saying M M M M M M M good!]

We took 90 cents and make 94 photocopies (4 independent photocopies, 30
with 3 flyers on each page). We took out the pay cartridge so that only 15
copies registered.. great savings!

We then went to Mill Avenue and passed the flyers around to all the preachers
on the street promoting this event and christianity as a whole. Note that
Mill Avenue is the cool part of Tempe, Arizona where all the punks, goths,
and others hang out.

US: Set Free with CdC! Take a flyer!
Preacher1: Is this event really by the Set Free Church?
US: Of course.. read it!
Preacher1: THIS IS DISGUSTING. [tears up his flyer]
        This is sick. Not only are you insulting the church, you are
        insulting everyone who loves Jesus.
US: Fuck you. You assholes are doing the same thing by telling us all
        that we are scum and should repent to be saved.
Preacher1: If you had any morals you would give me the rest of your
        flyers.
US: HAHA [people walk by and we give them flyers]
RandomPerson: RIGHT ON! FREE DRUGS!
US: Yeah! And the Set Free Church promotes this!
Preacher2: No they don't. This is disgusting.
Preacher3: This is sick!!! [starts to cry]
Preacher1: Get the hell out of my face. You are sick and are going to hell.
US: FUCK YOU! MAHATMA SAVES! FUCK ANIMALS!
Preacher1: Blah! [walks away]
BackgroundPreachers: Are you gonna let these idiots get away with this?
US: FREE DRUGS!

We went to the showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show (on Mill Avenue) and
passed out the flyers to random groups of people. It was fun. We enjoyed it.
We had great fun with 90 cents. You can too.

Bartardization of other's works. Its what CdC is all about. We're actually
going to the party in the park to see if our flyer distribution had any
effect on it or if people knew it was a joke. It was hilarious. The street
preachers were disgusted -- ALL of them.

==========CDC ARTICLE 3======================================================

I am going to carefully analyze the words spoken by hackers to see what they
are really about. All these comments made by hackers are undoubtedly
completely serious. Enjoy.

gotta go, have a new toy or two to try out.
                     [<ANONYMOUS>, 06-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* This could be interpreted as having a large weapon with which
        to assassinate the president. Does this mean that all hackers are
        evil scum who call bbses to obtain information on espionage, murder,
        assassination, etc? We think so.
Nynex is Mynex Victim
          [<ANONYMOUS>, 06-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* OUCH! This is an obvious threat to society as a whole. Nynex is
        now in trouble because evil hacker scum is going to destroy you and
        everything you stand for! Nynex works for the good of the American
        people, how can they be tampered with!!??
become a monk
      [<ANONYMOUS>, 06-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Does this mean that the ultimate goal of a computer hacker is to
        serve the lord? Does this mean that we really ARE hacking for jesus?
(slurp) (slobber) Ohhhh yeah!
              [<ANONYMOUS>, 07-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are street scum who should be kept off our streets. We
        have too many hormones and not enough sex or masturbation. We resort
        to netsex and masturbation while reading posts on UPT. What next?
        Molesting small animals and children? We think so! Hackers die! Die!
S    P    A    M       R   0    0   0   0   L   S
                        [<ANONYMOUS>, 07-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers can't spell or use correct spacing. R0000LS should really
        be written as 'exceeds the standards set by other lubricated meat
        products produced by Hormel'.
I'm not a hacker, but I play one on rexd
                    [<ANONYMOUS>, 08-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* An imposter?
Send me to hell, or give me a lump of coal and I'll start my own
                                [<ANONYMOUS>, 09-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are out to destroy the world. This is obvious since this
        anonymous hacker wants to destroy the world but starting his own
        hell (which means an evil burning place that jesus hates)! Bad hacker
        Bad hacker Bad hacker!
You gonna bark all day little doggie, or you gonna bite?
                            [<ANONYMOUS>, 09-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Sadomasochism is the way of the hacker. Hackers love pain. Hackers
        love going to jail and getting buttrape by BuBBA! Just ask merc.
Citadel R00lz!!@!  bah...
            [<ANONYMOUS>, 09-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* What about us?
digital anarchy
       [<ANONYMOUS>, 10-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Anarchy = No Government. Overthrowning the government with digital
        watches? Maybe.
You are silly. 
       [<ANONYMOUS>, 11-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are all homosexual and say things like this.
get a lawyer.  now.
         [<ANONYMOUS>, 11-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are bad bad bad people who are demanding and like to push
        their opinions on others.
i rok
  [<ANONYMOUS>, 11-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are bad bad bad people who think highly of themselves.
        Their egos get in the way and they think they know everything. This
        type of behavior can eventually lead to homicide. Do we want these
        killers on our streets?
believe in angels
        [<ANONYMOUS>, 12-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are sports fans.
change for the machines
           [<ANONYMOUS>, 13-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers promote change in a violent way. That and hackers don't
        know proper grammar. This should be 'Change the machines'.
Fuck you, wont do whatcha tell me
                [<ANONYMOUS>, 13-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are anti-authority and hate listening to others. This
        could be from over-masturbation.
I'm just a mutha fuckin pimp.
              [<ANONYMOUS>, 13-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers promote prostitution which could kill off the whole
        population because of disease. Are hackers genocidal? I think so.
9x rulz
   [<ANONYMOUS>, 15-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* While hackers want to control Nynex and take it down completely,
        they also think that is rulz (rules, surpasses standards set by
        others).
go see pulp fiction
         [<ANONYMOUS>, 15-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are avid movie goers.
smail is secure?
        [<ANONYMOUS>, 15-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers question the security of sendmail and other unix programs
        which process information.
ho ho, gotta go
       [<ANONYMOUS>, 16-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Once again hackers are promoting prostitution -- the one thing
        more important to them than taking control of the world. When there
        is a ho (prostitute) at the door, hackers leave all their work alone
        and have sex with the prostitute (most likely pimped by another
        hacker).
'NYNEX! NYNEX!' - Beavis
            [<ANONYMOUS>, 17-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Are hacker obsessed with Nynex?
I can't be witty on demand.
             [<ANONYMOUS>, 17-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers can't be witty on demand.
"We trained hard- but it seemed that
                  [<ANONYMOUS>, 18-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are confusing!
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?
                       [<ANONYMOUS>, 18-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are Libertarians who promote drugs and driving under the
        influence of drugs. They also want to be like birds and fly.
k3wl
  [<ANONYMOUS>,19-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers use bad slang.
*** RAgent has changed the topic on channel #hack to...
                           [<ANONYMOUS>, 19-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are inconclusive
The man who laughs has not yet heard the terrible news.
                           [<ANONYMOUS>, 20-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are negative people who think everything is bad and that
        there is never a silver lining to every cloud.
sniff
  [<ANONYMOUS>,21-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers promote the sniffing of internet packets and male butt-
        holes.
bite me
   [<ANONYMOUS>, 21-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers like being beaten, whipped, beaten and molested. This
        could mean that hackers hack so that they can go to jail and meet
        Bubba (merc's fiance). This means that hacker laws won't do any good
        since hackers WANT to get busted.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
                 [Some d00d from CdC, 21-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers associate food products with legislation.
Winners don't lose drugz
            [<ANONYMOUS>, 22-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers equate being a good person with not losing your drugs.
        Hackers are big drug dealers, drug users and really bad people.
free your soul., smoke a bowl..
               [<ANONYMOUS>, 23-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers want to get away from everything so they smoke pot.
There were billions of stars in my COSMOS!
                     [<ANONYMOUS>, 24-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers think that the universe is electronic and stored on tape
        somewhere in government archives.
sniff
  [<ANONYMOUS>,24-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Overuse of the word sniff
LOCKout
   [<ANONYMOUS>, 24-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers love GUI security programs.
Why not?
    [<ANONYMOUS>, 24-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers always questiona authority.
Press Me
    [<ANONYMOUS>, 25-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers promote sado-masochism.
"Nothing I do is my fault.  My family is dysfunctional and my parents did
                                    [<ANONYMOUS>, 25-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers grew up in bad, poor families. How did they get their
        computers? Because hackers are obviously minorities who are treated
        unfairly by our legal system, they (like other minorities) stole
        their computers. I personally downloaded my 486 from NASA.
Haha
  [<ANONYMOUS>,25-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers like to laugh at the expense of other people.
try at -f
    [<ANONYMOUS>, 25-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers like to censor words. -f should read 'if'. And once that
        is uncensored, the sentence reads 'try at if' but thats bad grammar.
poof
  [<ANONYMOUS>, 26-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Poof is the command on Waffle that lets you hide your connection
        so no one knows you logged on. Hackers are very secretive and like
        to hide everything they are doing.
What we have heuh.... is a failiuh...... ta communicate!
                            [<ANONYMOUS>, 28-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are black.
Mary had a little lamb. The doctor was very surprised.
                           [Some d00d from CdC, 29-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers are not surprised. Why? Because hackers like to breed with
        small (and not so small) animals. This promotes disease.
you are responsible for your own vomit
                   [<ANONYMOUS>, 29-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers have no responsibilties
Mice are elephants built in Japan.
                 [Some d00d from CdC, 30-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers hate this government and everything about this country
        (which is why they want to overthrow our fearless leaders) and fully
        support the work of the Japanese. Why? Because hackers are minorities
        (mexicans and blacks) who stay inside so much they lost the color in
        their skin making them look Japanese.
Ohhh, shit... outta pre-made taglines!
                   [Some d00d from CdC, 30-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers depend on technology and do not like to do work for them-
        selves.
Why stop at only one bowl?
             [<ANONYMOUS>, 31-Oct-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers like cereal.
eyem baq
    [mdma, 02-Nov-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers can't spell.
life
  [<ANONYMOUS>, 03-Nov-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers don't have one.
After styrofoam is made, what is it shipped out in?
                         [Some d00d from CdC, 03-Nov-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers like Catch-22
Hot water heater? Hot water needs heating?
                     [Some d00d from CdC, 03-Nov-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers prefer oxy-morons to clearasil-morons.
I know a girl...... a girl named party.... party girl...... I know she wants
                                      [<ANONYMOUS>, 03-Nov-94]|
*CdC says* Hackers know one girl. Probably Grayarea.

After carefully analyzing the words of all the hackers, I came to the
following conclusion:

Hackers are evil scum who call bbses to obtain information on espionage,
murder, assassination, etc. They are an obvious threat to society as we
see it today. They want to take over Nynex/9x. The ultimate goal of a
hackers is to serve the lord. This means that hackers are really hacking
for Jesus or Mahatma Mcaf33. Hackers are street scum who should be kept
off our streets. They have too many hormones and not enough sex or
masturbation. They resort to netsex and masturbation while reading posts
on UPT. They enjoy molesting small animals and children?
Hackers can't spell or use correct spacing. Hackers are out to destroy
the world.  Sadomasochism is the way of the hacker. Hackers love pain.
Hackers love going to jail and getting buttrape by BuBBA! Just ask merc.
Hackers promote overthrowning the government with digital watches!
Hackers are all homosexual and say things like 'silly'. Hackers are bad
bad bad people who are demanding and like to push their opinions on others.
Hackers are bad bad bad people who think highly of themselves. Their egos
get in the way and they think they know everything. This type of behavior
can eventually lead to homicide. Hackers are sports fans.  Hackers promote
change in a violent way. That and hackers don't know proper grammar.
Hackers are anti-authority and hate listening to others. This could be from
over-masturbation. Hackers promote prostitution which could kill off the
whole population because of disease. Are hackers genocidal? I think so.
While hackers want to control Nynex and take it down completely, they also
think that is rulz (rules, surpasses standards set by others). Hackers are
avid movie goers. Hackers question the security of sendmail and other unix
programs which process information. Once again hackers are promoting
prostitution -- the one thing more important to them than taking control of
the world. When there is a ho (prostitute) at the door, hackers leave all
their work alone and have sex with the prostitute (most likely pimped by
another hacker).  Hackers can't be witty on demand. Hackers are confusing!
Hackers are Libertarians who promote drugs and driving under the influence
of drugs. They also want to be like birds and fly. Hackers use bad slang.
Hackers are inconclusive. Hackers are negative people who think everything
is bad and that there is never a silver lining to every cloud. Hackers
promote the sniffing of internet packets and male buttholes. Hackers like
being beaten, whipped, beaten and molested. This could mean that hackers
hack so that they can go to jail and meet Bubba (merc's fiance). This means
that hacker laws won't do any good since hackers WANT to get busted. Hackers
associate food products with legislation. Hackers equate being a good person
with not losing your drugs. Hackers are big drug dealers, drug users and
really bad people. Hackers want to get away from everything so they smoke pot.
Hackers think that the universe is electronic and stored on tape somewhere in
government archives. Hackers love GUI security programs. Hackers always
questiona authority. Hackers promote sado-masochism. Hackers grew up in bad,
poor families. How did they get their computers? Because hackers are
obviously minorities who are treated unfairly by our legal system, they (like
other minorities) stole their computers. I personally downloaded my 486 from
NASA. Hackers like to laugh at the expense of other people. Hackers are very
secretive and like to hide everything they are doing. Hackers are black.
Because hackers like to breed with small (and not so small) animals. This
promotes disease. Hackers have no responsibilties. Hackers hate this
government and everything about this country (which is why they want to
overthrow our fearless leaders) and fully support the work of the Japanese.
Why? Because hackers are minorities (mexicans and blacks) who stay inside so
much they lost the color in their skin making them look Japanese. Hackers
depend on technology and do not like to do work for themselves. Hackers like
cereal. Hackers can't spell. Hackers like Catch-22. Hackers prefer oxy-morons
to clearasil-morons. Hackers know grayarea.

==========CDC ARTICLE 4======================================================

WHERE TO OBTAIN ISSUES!!

bbs:
        unphamiliar territory           602-804-0313
        login catfur /pub/ae2/cdc_cat
internet:
        corrupt.sekurity.com
        from invalid, grayarea, random other people on irc via dcc

>> werd

==========CDC ARTICLE 5======================================================

                          TITLE XXIX-COMPUTER CRIME 
  
  SEC. 290001. COMPUTER ABUSE AMENDMENTS ACT OF 1994. 
  
  (a) SHORT TITLE.-This subtitle may be cited as the "Computer Abuse 
Amendments Act of 1994". 
  
  (b) PROHIBITION.-Section 1030(a)(5) of title 18, United States Code, is 
amended to read as follows: 
  
  "(5)(A) through means of a computer used in interstate commerce or 
communications, knowingly causes the transmission of a program, information, 
code, or command to a computer or computer system if- 
  
  "(i) the person causing the transmission intends that such transmission 
will- 
  
"(I) damage, or cause damage to, a computer, computer system, network, 
information, data, or program; or 
  
"(II) withhold or deny, or cause the withholding or denial, of the use of a 
computer, computer services, system or network, information, data or program; 
and 
  
  "(ii) the transmission of the harmful component of the program, 
information, code, or command- 
  
"(I) occurred without the authorization of the persons or entities who own 
or are responsible for the computer system receiving the program, 
information, code, or command; and 
  
"(II)(aa) causes loss or damage to one or more other persons of value 
aggregating $1,000 or more during any 1-year period; or 
  
"(bb) modifies or impairs, or potentially modifies or impairs, the medical 
examination, medical diagnosis, medical treatment, or medical care of one or 
more individuals; or 
  
  "(B) through means of a computer used in interstate commerce or 
communication, knowingly causes the transmission of a program, information, 
code, or command to a computer or computer system- 
  
  "(i) with reckless disregard of a substantial and unjustifiable risk that 
the transmission will- 
  
"(I) damage, or cause damage to, a computer, computer system, network, 
information, data or program; or 
  
"(II) withhold or deny or cause the withholding or denial of the use of a 
computer, computer services, system, network, information, data or program; 
and 
  
  "(ii) if the transmission of the harmful component of the program, 
information, code, or command- 
  
"(I) occurred without the authorization of the persons or entities who own 
or are responsible for the computer system receiving the program, 
information, code, or command; and 
  
"(II)(aa) causes loss or damage to one or more other persons of a value 
aggregating $1,000 or more during any 1-year period; or 
  
"(bb) modifies or impairs, or potentially modifies or impairs, the medical 
examination, medical diagnosis, medical treatment, or medical care of one or 
more individuals;". 
  
  (c) PENALTY.-Section 1030(c) of title 18, United States Code is amended- 
  
  (1) in paragraph (2)(B) by striking "and" after the semicolon; 
  
  (2) in paragraph (3)(A) by inserting "(A)" after "(a)(5)"; 
  
  (3) in paragraph (3)(B) by striking the period at the end thereof and 
inserting "; and"; and 
  
  (4) by adding at the end the following new paragraph: 
  
  "(4) a fine under this title or imprisonment for not more than 1 year, or 
both, in the case of an offense under subsection (a)(5)(B).". 
  
  (d) CIVIL ACTION.-Section 1030 of title 18, United States Code, is amended 
by adding at the end thereof the following new subsection: 
  
  "(g) Any person who suffers damage or loss by reason of a violation of the 
section, other than a violation of subsection (a)(5)(B), may maintain a civil 
action against the violator to obtain compensatory damages and injunctive 
relief or other equitable relief. Damages for violations of any subsection 
other than subsection (a)(5)(A)(ii)(II)(bb) or (a)(5)(B)(ii)(II)(bb) are 
limited to economic damages. No action may be brought under this subsection 
unless such action is begun within 2 years of the date of the act complained 
of or the date of the discovery of the damage.". 
  
  (e) REPORTING REQUIREMENTS.-Section 1030 of title 18 United States Code, 
is amended by adding at the end the following new subsection: 
  
  "(h) The Attorney General and the Secretary of the Treasury shall report 
to the Congress annually, during the first 3 years following the date of the 
enactment of this subsection, concerning investigations and prosecutions 
under section 1030(a)(5) of title 18, United States Code.". 
  
  (f) PROHIBITION.-Section 1030(a)(3) of title 18, United States Code, is 
amended by inserting "adversely" before "affects the use of the Government's 
operation of such computer".

(End of Computer Crime Proposed Act)
==========CDC ARTICLE 6======================================================
<Okinawa:#hack> theora rokz n stuph ;)

A MOMENT OF TRUTH! *** RESPONDS TO ACCUSATIONS THAT HE IS THE WELL HACKER!
-> ***** any comments on the grayarea interview in which you were accused of
+being the Well hacker?

***** it was stupid thing to say.

FURTHERMORE, PROOF THAT *** IS HOMOSEXUAL!

* *** dreams of oki's butty hole
* Okinawa feelz elite to be in ***'s dreamz
<***> what?
<Okinawa> fuck you ***, stop hitting on me
<***> But Oki, I love you so. I want you to sit on my face. Please!
<***> Oki, why are you ignoring me? I love you!

MORE PROOF THAT *** IS GAY ++AND++ IN LOVE WITH INVALID MEDIA ++AND++ THAT
HE IS THE INFAMOUS WELL HACKER ++AND++ THAT HE'S BUSTER BUNNY!

<invalid> *** -- you've been accused of being the WELL hacker. what are you
+gonna do now??
<***> kill myself
<***> and you invalid?
*grayarea* heh
<invalid> ***, are you really going to kill yourself? can i quote that for
+CDCI?
<***> yea, I will commint suicde, with netta
<***> I will commit suicide with Netta
<***> You can quota that
<***> invalid: yes, you can quote "I will kill Netta, and then myself"
<glasshead> buster bunny is ***
<invalid> eye's got gifs of *** in the shower.. who wants to trade?
***** *smooch*
***** send me one
<invalid> WOW! More dirt on ***!
***** ok baby
***** send me a copy, you wuss :)
***** I will be dreaming of your hairy one
<invalid> Ok..
***** thanks...
***** I am already.. fantasizing..
***** *meow*
***** send me a copy, damnit :)
=========CDC ARTICLE 7=======================================================
M@H@+M@ MC@F33 (MM) @ND MC C0F33$P1LL@H (CO)

+u3$d@y
~~~~~~~
CO: Y0 wuzzup, g
MM: Ju$+ M@ckin' 0n +h3 v@+0 hyp3 +ip!
CO: W3rd, 3y3 g0+z +@ g0 +0 c0ur+ +0M0rr0w @+ 8:30@M nigg@, C@n y@ +@k3
        M3 in y0 piMpin' c@Mry?
MM: @igh+!

W3dn3$d@y
~~~~~~~~~
CO: 6 @M! w3rd, i c@n g3+ @ f3w M0' Minu+3$ 0v r3$+, My g0+z+@ l3@v3 @+
        7:f0h5! w3rd!
<$#>+iM3 p@$$3$<$#>
MM: KNOCK Kn0CK! i+z 7:f0h5,g!
CO: D@Mn n1gg@h, 3y3 f3ll @$l33p!
MM: $h3i+, f00!
CO: $HOW3R $HOW3R!
MM: D@Mn f00, i+z @lr3@dy 8:15, f@g c@n h@k!
<$#>driv33N<$#>
MM: $hi+ f00, wh3r3'$ d@ fuk3n c0ur+?
CO: I d0n'+ kn0w, l3+$ w0rry @b0u+ p@rk33N..
<$#>+iM3 p@$$3$.. @nd p@$$3$<$#>
CO: FUCK! W3'r3 g0nn@ b3 l@+3...
MM: N0 $hi+...
<$#>8:35@<$#>
In c0ur+ @ll +h3 b1+ch3s @r3 fly. wi+ +h3ir h@ir d0n3 @nd 3v3ry+hing.
MM: W3'r3 in c0ur+.. bu+ I'v3 g0+ @ cl@$$ in @n h0ur$. $HI+!
CO: D0n'+ w0rry, w3'll b3 0u+ 0f h3r3 in @ $n@p..
<$#>+iM3 p@$$3$<$#>
Judg3: L@M@h $cuMbuck3+! Pl3@$3 $+@nd!
L@M@h: Y3$ $ir!
Judg3: I$ L@M@h $cuMbuck3+ y0ur +ru3 n@M3?
L@M@h: Y3$ i+ i$ $ir!
Judg3: Y0ur h3@r33N will b3 0n J@nu@ry 1$+.
Judg3: H0Mi3 G M0n3y! Pl3@$3 $+@nd!
H0Mi3: Y3$ $ir!
Judg3: I$ H0Mi3 G M0n3y y0ur +ru3 n@M3?
H0Mi3: Y3$ i+ i$ $ir!
Judg3: Y0ur h3@r33N will b3 0n J@nu@ry 1$+.
<$#>@nd $0 0n @nd $0 0n<$#>
Judg3: ***** *** *******! Pl3@$3 $+@nd!
CO: W3rd nigg@!
Judg3: I$ ***** *** ******* y0ur +ru3 n@M3?
CO: Fuck y3@r b1+ch!.. UMM I M3@n $ir!
Judg3: Y0ur h3@r33N will b3 0n J@nu@ry 1$+.
MM: Y3$! W3'r3 0u++@ h3r3...
<$#>9:f0h0<$#>
MM: W3'r3 b@ck.. I'M in cl@$$! +hi$ i$ k3wl.

=========CDC ARTICLE 8=======================================================

CULT OF THE DEAD CAT AS A RELIGION!
(a reprint of issues 176-180)

        I. Religious origin of Cult of the Dead Cat
        II. Religious significance of SPAM
        III. Mating with SPAM
        IV. Tenants of Disheiferism/CdC

The Religious Origin of CULT OF THE DEAD CAT

Columbus, Ohio. March 1976. A group of 244 members of the Satanic Church got
together in a conference room at a local hotel. 50 members completely
denounced the teachings of Anton Lavey and were banished into cans of SPAM
(which is a trademark of Hormel). These seven cans were then given to the
remaining 194 members of the church. 7 elders took the cans and decided to
branch off Satanism into various groups.

These various groups are:
        Cult of the Dead Cat
        Funky Ass Niggers who Forgot the Vaseline (FANWFTV)
        Polyester Wearing Pimps with Limps

These 7 elders are:
        $3aGaT3, Mahatma Mcaf33, PAVA, Tom the Turd, />AD />ALF, CyberGunk
        and Anton Lavey.

In 1979, Mahatma Mcaf33 mated with 3 of these cans of SPAM (to be explained
at a later time) and hence the tradition of Cult of the Dead Cat started.
By 1981, FANWFTV and Polyester Wearing Pimps with Limps merged into the
FANWFTV conglomerate which later (1992) merged with Cult of the Dead Cat.
From these cans of SPAM came the direct line of CdC including VOLKSWAGON,
G-NUT, KRi$ KR0$ and others.

4 cans of SPAM were left and given to $3aGaT3 (who later got run over with
the can of SPAM thus releasing bible fundamentalism into a parallel dimension
which created Christianity). Of the 3 cans left, only one is accounted for.
It sits on top of a modem (along with a pimpin' cigar and a plastic moving
rat whose mouth is stuck in a trap) giving it supah powahz. Where? Its in
the eleet paluz owned and operated by MC Coffeespillah and M.C. B.A. Mahatma
(M.C. Bourne again Mahatma Mcaf33).

RELIGIOUS SIGNIFICANCE OF SPAM

SPAM has been a treat for ages. It was orriginally created during world war
II as a treat for British soldiers. Nuff said!

MATING WITH SPAM

The SPAM MATING tradition is one that has raised much controversy within
Cult of the Dead Cat...

The proper way to mate is this.

Undress.
Cover yourself with peanut butter.
Cover a room you are in completely with peanut butter.
Fill a large fish tank (or other large container) with peanut butter.
Stick the unopened can o' SPAM inside the large container.
Become sexually aroused (masturbation is appropriate)
Use a pick (covered with Peanut Butter) to open the can of SPAM.

(NOTE: everything in the room NOT covered with peanut butter will be infected
with subliminel viruses and the SPAM disease will engulf all living objects)

Stick your penis inside the can of SPAM (making sure you wear a condom
covered with peanut butter) just as you are about to cum.

There. Within seconds, a fetus grows inside the SPAM and you are now in a
parallel dimension.

The fetus must then be quickly covered with peanut butter to prevent
infection with SPAM disease. Once all the spam is killed off, you must put
the fetis inside the empty peanut butter jar and carefully remove it. From
there, it quickly grows and creates a follower of disheiferism (or..
Cult of the Dead Cat).

The Nine Disheiferist Statements

1. Mahatma represents indulgence instead of abstinence.
2. Mahatma represents vital existance instead of spritual pipe dreams.
3. Mahatma represents undefiled wisdom intead of hypocritical self-deceit.
4. Mahatma represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love
   wasted on ingrates.
5. Mahatma represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.
6. Mahatma represents responsibility to the responsible instead of
   concern for psychic vampires.
7. Mahatma represents man as just another animal - sometimes better, more
   often worse than those that walk on all-fours - who, because of his
   "divine spiritual and intellectual development," has become the most
   vicious animal of all.
8. Mahatma represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to
   physical, mental, or emotional gratification.
9. Mahatma has been the best friend Cult of the Dead Cow has ever had, as
   he has kept it in business all these years.

==========CDC ARTICLE 9======================================================
THE FORMATION OF A NEW SECT IN CdC

CARING FOR DEPRIVED CITRUS...

DO YOU LOVE YOUR LEMONS AND OTHER CITRUS FRUITS?
WE KNOW YOU DO.

DID YOU KNOW THAT LEMONS ARE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES AND THAT WITHIN 10 YEARS
(IF NOTHING IS DONE), THEY WILL DRY UP AND COMPLETELY DIE?

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO STOP THIS?
WELL, THINK ABOUT IT...

WHAT DO LEMONS NEED MOST?
WHAT DO PEOPLE NEED MOST?

LOVE

YES, THATS IT. FOR ONLY 5 DOLLARS A DAY WE WILL CARE FOR ONE OF YOUR LEMONS.
FOR A DONATION OF 25 CENTS WE WILL CARE FOR OUR OWN LEMONS.

HOW IS THIS DONE?

YOU GIVE US THE MONEY, WE SPEND IT ON OURSELVES (BECAUSE IN ORDER TO LOVE
OTHERS, WE NEED TO LOVE OURSELVES AND IF WE ARE UNHAPPY BECAUSE WE HAVE NO
MONEY THEN WE CAN'T LOVE OURSELVES OR ANYONE ELSE -- LIKE LEMONS) AND THEN
ARE CAPABLE OF LOVING.

WE SLEEP WITH YOUR LEMONS!
WE HAVE SEX WITH YOUR LEMONS!
WE DO EVERYTHING WITH YOUR LEMONS TO MAKE THEM FEEL LOVED.

THIS IS ONE LARGE STEP FOR EVERYONE!

SAVE THE LEMONS!
CARING FOR DEPRIVED CITRUS...

COMING SOON..

CARDING FOR DEPRIVED CITRUS-- VISA/AE/MASTERCARD/ALL MAJOR BANK CARDS!

==========CDC ARTICLE 10=====================================================

INTRODUCING THE NEW CDC BANK CARD...

ANNUAL INTEREST RATE: 25%
ANNUAL FEE          : WE GIVE YOU $25 DOLLARS A YEAR (IN YOUR ACCOUNT)
MINIMUM BALANCE     : $5

YOU SEND US MONEY TO THE CDC P.O. BOX (TO BE ANNOUNCED)
WE SEND YOU A BANK CARD THAT CAN ONLY BE USED AT ATM'S AROUND THE WORLD
THAT SHOW THE CdC LOGO...

==========CDC ARTICLE 11=====================================================
[-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-]
      ccccc    ddddddd        ccccc                                
    ccc   ccc  ddd   ddd    ccc   ccc       <U|_+3 0P|-| +|-|3 |>3@|> <@+
   ccc         ddd    ddd  ccc              <0/\/\/\/\U/\/1<@+10/\/Z3!!!@!1
   ccc         ddd    ddd  ccc                         _ ___/|
   ccc         ddd    ddd  ccc                  \      \'X.x,'       /
 --ccc---------ddd----ddd--ccc------------------->     =(___)=      <-------
    ccc   ccc  ddd   ddd    ccc   ccc           /         U          \
      ccccc    ddddddd        ccccc                   \/\/03/\/\
[-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-]
        
        LOSING MONEY AT MC_DONALDS: BY TOM THE TURD

        OKAY. YESTERDAY, I WAS AT MC_DONALDS. I ORDERED MY USUAL, 2 CHICKEN
 HAPPY MEALS, WITH COKE, AND 8 SWEET AND SOUR SAUCES. WHEN I GOT DONE, I
 DECIDED I WAS STILL HUNGRY, SO I WENT TO THE COUNTER AND ORDERED AN APPLE
 PIE. 

        THE NICE MAN SAID IT WOULD BE 78 CENTS, AND I GIVE HIM $1.03. BUT,
 TO MY DELIGHT, HE TYPED IN $10.03, AND THE REGISTER WAS SAYING THAT I HAD
 $9.25 COMING BACK! AGAIN, I HOPED TO SCORE BIG IN MC_DONALDS, BUT, INSTEAD,
 THE DUDE GAVE ME BACK $.20... I THINK THEY ARE CATCHING ON.

        I WENT TO MY TABLE: I THOUGHT... AND WROTE ON A NAPKIN:

         ORIGINAL $'S  1.03
         APPLE PIE      .78
        --------------------                
         CHANGE         .25

        ERGO

         ORIGINAL $'S 10.03
         APPLE PIE      .78
        --------------------
         CHANGE        9.25

        AHH! THE NICE MAN FUCKED UP!! NOW, THOUGH, I SEE A WAY THAT WE CAN
 ALL LOSE LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY. WE JUST NEED TO DO THIS. GO TO MC_DONALDS,
 ORDER ANYTHING, AND PAY WITH SEMI-EXACT CHANGE. THE HELP IS SO STUPID THAT
 YOU WILL GET INCORRECT CHANGE.

]10 PR#3
]20 PRINT "CULT OF THE DEAD CAT BBS SITES! SUPPORT FOR THE K-CAT FORCE!"
]30 INVERSE: PRINT "WE ARE JUST SO MASSIVELY ELITE!"
]40 NORMAL: PRINT
]50 PRINT "dEATH bLOOD gORE               (307) PRI-VATE"
]60 PRINT "FlounderBall                   (513) NOT-DONE"
]70 PRINT "9BBS                           (915) FUCK-YOU"
]80 PRINT "OSTORMY                        (307) BLOW-US!"
]90 PRINT "modem over michigan(MOM)       (616) JERK-OFF"
]100 PRINT "FLAMINGE TUBBE OPHE LARDE AE  (602) MEAT-BTR"
]110 GOTO 110

>> END OF CDC ISSUE 208
>> COMING NEXT ISSUE...

MO' INFO ON *** (anonymous n1gga)
updated on Caring for Deprived Citrus
Slacker comes to CdC territory!
MC C0ff33's court updates
UPT IS LAME!@#
music reviews -- dj essential, dj pari, third floor, ONE, bauhaus
MC NO_ALARM speaks (??)

           /+==================================================+\
+=========+ W3 FuK3N RuL3, S0 K0M3 H3R3 @ND SuCK 0uR @SS3S!@#!@# +===========+
|         |                                                      | CDC 1994, |
| _ __/|  | dEATH bLOOD gORE.... 307 Di3-JeWZ! CdC W0/>Ld HQ     | KiCKZ BiG |
| \'x.X'  | FlounderBall........ 307 MAs-SiV3! FUK3N 3L33+ AE!@  | FuK3N @SS |
| =(___)= | L3Gi0N 0F DuD3S..... 406 Y3@-SuR3! 3Lit3 W@R3Z!      | 3V3RY D@Y,|
|     U   | H0LY B@tSHit F@tM@N. 307 Y0u-SuCK! 735+ ViRi         | FuCKH3@D  |
|  !W03M  | M00DY NuNZ W/B0N3RS. 704 Y3@-Rit3! N3W CDC Sit3!!!   | DiCKLiCK  |
|         | ThA N1ggA B1tCH..... 602 PRY-VAT3! R@V3L@ND!!!       | @SSSuCK3R!|
+=========+ SOUL KITCHEN........ 602 XXX-XXXX! K-SPiFFY 3LYt3    +===========+
           \+==================================================+/
