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  ...presents...            Fatal Attraction for Real

                                                         by G.A. Ellsworth



                      >>> a cDc publication.......1990 <<<

                        -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-

 ______________________________________________________________________________





        So I got the job.  Cool!  I get to work with all of these really great

looking women.  Cool!  I'll finally start to get over that last person who

fucked with my mind....



        Hmm... Julee doesn't talk much.  She's not bad looking, I wonder if

she's got some kind of hate for people or something... (--hahaha--).. .nah!!

Wonder what she's like... "Really?  You're engaged?  Wow!  What a trip, do you

think you are really old enough to tie yourself down?  Pretty scary huh?"



        "Julee, do you think you could give me a ride home?  Really?  Great, so

tell me more about this fiancee -- oops... sorry I know you hate that word.... 

 Ok, tell me more about your boyfriend...."



        "Doggy style huh?  <embarrassed yet turned on..>  Yeah, I like it too.

Y'know, I didn't think we'd be talking about sex all that much considering you

are getting married and all....  Yeah, I love oral sex too... heh heh... much

better to give than receive... heh heh heh."



        "You smell pretty nice yourself....  So you think you really want me

huh?  What about Tom?  Ok, I won't mention him again...I'm just a little

weirded out by this"



        Yeah, this is definitely strange... but what the heck... if she's too

horny for one guy... and she doesn't feel guilty about it, what could it hurt?

And wow... she could like fullfill some of my fantasies and all that....   I

mean, she's so giving of herself.  She loves to give me head... she likes it

when I come in her mouth... she even wants me to fuck her in the ass... god

this is like a dream come true....



        "Yes of course you are important to me... you wouldn't be here if you

weren't."  Wait, do I really mean this?  Maybe I shouldn't say this without

thinking it through.  "Yes, really... what do you think I'd lie just to get

into your pants?"  Well, she's kinda doing the same thing... I don't think she

really means that she LOVES me, she's just saying what she's feeling at the

moment.  "Oh god yes that feels good.  Please don't stop.  Where are you

going?"



        "Why did you leave last time?  Really?  You were testing me to find out

if I was lying?  Did I let you down?  Great... yeah, I want to make you come

too."  Oh man... why am I thinking with my dick?  How can I let myself do this?

"Yes this is definitely a good thing... you really want me to fuck you in the

ass, huh?  Wow, I've always thought it would be pretty cool, you like it huh? 

I think I will...."  Am I really hurting her?  Why is she crying like that...

I'd better just keep goi... no wait... I'd better stop.  "Julee?  Julee, are

you ok?  I'm sorry I didn't want to hurt you... I didn't mean to... I thought

you wanted me to.  I'm sorry... I love you Julee."  Goddamnit... there I go

again... do you really love her?  Why the hell did you say it then?  What are

you doing?



        "Buy you a fifth of Schnapps huh?  That would do it... won't hurt so

much huh?  Great...."  Why didn't I think of this before... get her drunk. 

"You know that I get all weak when you touch me like that... yes it feels

great... yes you are the best ever at oral sex... I mean it." (I really do)

"God where did you learn this?  Fuck yes... that's exactly right... wow!"



        Seems like I've had more to drink than she has... wow... I'm starting

to feel pretty fucked up.  "Yes... you are my best friend Julee... no of course

not... I'd never tell my friends about this... yes yes... you could come to me

anytime you had a problem... god you are so good at this... you make me feel

so... wonderful...."  Then why does my soul feel like she's drinking my blood?

"Oh Julee I really do love you...."  Black out.



        My god... what did she do to me last night?  How could I have made all

those promises?  How could I have said all that?  Damn, I can hardly remember

what I said.  I remember her coming over and telling me not to tell anyone what

to say... god, it's like she drugged me and brain-washed me or something... I'm

really scared.  What does she really want?  How could she say that she loves

me?  How could I say I love her?  This is so insane!  How much of my soul did I

bare to her?  Why would I let down my defenses like that?  It's like she used

me... but I let her... I'm really scared now... it's like she's got so much

control.  Why is this getting to me?  What did I do wrong?



        I'm away from her now.  It's been 2 years.  But I'm still afraid of

her.  Somehow she got inside my brain and I ended up saying and feeling a bunch

of things I had no control over.  Whenever the phone rings and it's for me, I

ask "Who is it?"



        "Some woman, she didn't give a name."  My heart races.  My face flushes

and I feel whatever it was planted inside me come to life again.  My fantasies

are haunted by her.  I will be having sex with someone else and her name will

pop into my mind.  I'm afraid of her.  I have never met anyone like her, and I

hope I never have to go through this again.  I feel like I've been raped.

  _   _   ____________________________________________________________________

/((___))\|The Dead Zone........214/522-5321|Demon Roach Undrgrnd..806/794-4362|

 [ x x ] |NIHILISM.............415/285-9453|The People Farm.......916/673-8412|

  \   /  |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194|The Bombay............714/897-0412|

  (' ')  |Lunatic Labs.........213/655-0691|The Works.............617/861-8976|

   (U)   |====================================================================|

  .ooM   |(c)1990 cDc communications by G.A. Ellsworth.          06/22/90-#142|

\_______/|All Rights Pissed Away.                                             |







