From: Rick Thoma
To: Chris 
Topic: Annoyed   

> Do you know what the most annoying thing in the world is??
 
  Chris, let's play a little game, just for fun.  Now, here's what you
do:
 
  You take some money, and you go buy a fast AT class machine.  Now, you
add a fast hard drive, oh... say around 40 Megs, for starters.  Then, you
get it all all up and running.
  No, that's not a fun game, let's try this.  You take that machine, and
buy a couple hundred dollars worth of software for it, so other people can
talk to your machine.  To do this, you will have to spend every moment of
your free time setting up that expensive software package, just to make sure
it's running OK.  Ohhhh... this IS fun.
  No, no, no.  You can't can't go bowling tonight, and you can't go out to
the bar tomorrow night.  Yo, Chris, you have to stay home, because you and
I are playing this fun little game.  You have to stay home, because you are
so close to having that software set up!  So close.  Now it's time to add a
few things.  Maybe some doors, so people will have something to do besides
just download files from that system you're working on.
  No files Chris?  Ooops.  You better make about 5 Hundred dollars worth of
phone calls.  This way, when those first few people call that nice little
project of yours, they can tell you that another board they call has more
than you do.  Isn't this fun Chris?
  Hey Chris, guess what, that big 40 megger isn't so big anymore.  Well, if
you want to keep playing, you better get up another 5 Hundred bucks for a
bigger drive.  Hurry, hurry!  People are starting to call!!!  Ohhhhh, isn't
this FUN?
  Congrats, you have your own nifty color menus!  Ain't they pretty!  You
have a dozen doors working!  Already!  You have 6 people calling!  And the
best part is, this only took you two months!  Only two months, Chris!  But
now we're REALLY having fun!
  Hey, Chris, you don't have any GIFs!  You have all the DOS utilities in
the world, but you forgot the GIFs!  Everybody loves GIFs.  Get some GIFs,
Chris!  Hurry!  Hey, Chris, these GIFs are HUGE.  They're taking you forty
minutes each to download.  Oh no, Chris.  Your phone bill is going through
the roof!  The phone company is threatening to disconnect your phone!  You
better run to the bank and give them... oh... say 5 Hundred dollars.  But
it's worth it, 'cause now you have all these GIFs.  Everybody LOVES GIFs!
  But people are starting to complain.  Your line is always busy.  They
just don't understand that it's busy because you've been downloading all
these GIFs that everybody loves!  You better get a faster modem.  You can
buy one for say... 5 Hundred dollars.
  Now, you have your fast modem, but the board is still busy!  (Tell me,
when was the last time you had THIS much fun?).  Some guy calls at seven
every night, and plays Tradewars for 45 minutes!  Just when everyone is
trying to call!  You better get a network, so you can go multi-node.  You
wanted to play, let's play to win.  You can buy one for... oh...5 Hundred
buck.  Oh, you might need another machine.  That's, oh... 5 Hundred bucks!
  Chris!  You did it!  You have a multi-node BBS, Lotsa GIFs, 'cause every-
body LOVES GIFs, 85 callers, nifty color menus, two big hard drives, and
all of those DOS utilities.
  Oh-oh.  Hey Chris!  Look!  Everyone is going Netmail! If you want to stay
in this game, you have to call Mount Vernon every night!  You have to stay
on line with Mount Vernon for half an hour!  Just when your phone bill was
beginning to come down.  Jeez, seems you just can't win.  Just when you had
things running SO smoothly!  You have to have netmail, Chris.  Because we
know everybody LOVES Netmail!
  You did it!  You won!  You have your nifty color menus, 184 callers, all
of those nifty DOS utilities, all of those GIFs that everbody LOVES, you
have netmail, 'cause everybody LOVES netmail.  You have four hard drives,
three computers, and your phone bill is under... 5 Hundred dollars!  You
did it!  You won!  You won!
  Now, the BEST part is... you get to give ALL of this away.  That's right.
Oh?  I didn't TELL you when we started playing?  That's right, Chris.  You
give this all away for nothing, to complete strangers.  Why?  You're asking
ME why?  Hey, you're the one who wanted to play!
  Well Chris, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to get going now. I had
to take the board down to talk to you.  Someone may be getting a busy signal.
Can't have that!
  Be Seeing You!
 
* Origin: ...Are we having fun yet?  (1:272/63)

