9

Hit Ctrl-S to Pause, Ctrl-Q to restart             Spacebar to Stop Permanently


                     SOME  GENERAL  TRUTHS

Self-starters..... won't. Interchangeable parts..... don't.

Don't mess with Murphy.

90% of everything is crud; the other 10% is KRUD.

If you're feeling good, don't worry.  You'll get over it.

All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.

Where you stand on an issue depends upon where you sit.

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it.

A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

You will always find something in the last place you look.

"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong." -Murphy.

"Some do, some don't." -Dibble

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

Never argue with an artist.

You will remember to take out the garbage when the truck is two doors away.

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong;
but that's the way to bet.

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

A penny saved is not worth very much.

There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate.

Anything in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Everything east of the San Andreas fault will eventually plunge into the
Atlantic Ocean.

The other line always moves faster.

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.

Murphy's Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression.

The chance of a piece of bread falling buttered side down is directly
proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Celibacy is not hereditary.

You can't be too rich, or too thin.

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

No matter how long you shop for an item, it will go on sale after you buy it.

No one's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in
session.

Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.

A $300 picture tube will protect a 10 cent fuse by blowing first.

If it jams, force it; if it breaks, it needed to be replaced anyway.

Anything is possible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the
exact middle.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Leakproof seals..... will.

If you fool with a thing long enough, you will screw it up.

The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.

When a broken appliance is demonstrated to the repairman, it will work right.

A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his
mouth.

Every solution breeds new problems.

Never eat prunes when you're famished.

Never argue with a fool.  People might not know the difference.

Every job will take twice as long as you expect with half the profit.

The chances of seeing someone who knows you are dramatically increased by
not wanting to be seen.

There is always one more bug.

Nature is a mother.


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