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Archive-name: tv/mst3k/songs
Version: "$Header: Songs,v 1.4 93/03/14 18:03:08 rsk Exp $"

This list was compiled by Lisa Jenkins (jenkins@mhd1.moorhead.msus.edu),
with help from various folks as noted below.  I've done a sort-and-merge
on it to produce this version.

The following is a list of songs in the experiments, listed by season,
production number and experiment name.  Note that the production numbers used
in the Comedy Channel 1989/90 season are from Best Brains' Experiment Guide
and do not reflect the actual order the episodes were aired.

All songs were originally found in the Satellite of Love Newsletter (SOLN)
or on the USENET newsgroup alt.tv.mst3k.


Theme songs
-----------

"Love Theme from Mystery Science Theatre [sic] 3000"
from opening of _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ on KTMA TV23.
Lyrics: Joel Hodgson and Josh Weinstein
Music: Charles Erickson and Joel Hodgson


[Sung by "Joel and the Joels."]

In the not-too-distant future--
Next Sunday, A.D.--
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different than you or me.
He worked in a satellite loading bay,
Just polishing switches to pay his way;
He did his job well with a cheerful face,
But his bosses didn't like him
So they shot him into space.

We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst ever made.
Joel says when you got lemons,
You make lemonade.
Now keep in mind he can't control
When the movies begin or end,
Because he used the extra parts
To make his robot friends.

Robot roll-call--
Cambot
Servo
Gypsy
Crow!

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts,
Just repeat to yourself it's just a show,
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Theater 3000.


-----------

"Love Theme from Mystery Science Theatre [sic]"
from opening of _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ on The Comedy Channel and
Comedy Central.

Lyrics: Joel Hodgson and Josh Weinstein
Music: Charles Erickson and Joel Hodgson


[Sung by "Joel and the Joels."]

In the not-too-distant future--
Next Sunday A.D.--
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different from you or me.
He worked at Gizmonic Institute,
Just another face in a red jumpsuit.
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses didn't like him
So they shot him into space.

We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst we can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And we'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind Joel can't control
Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call:  (Let's go!)
Cambot!  (Pan left!)
Gypsy!  (Hi, girl!)
Tom Servo!  (What a cool guy!)
Croooow!  (What a wisecracker!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la la la),
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!"

KTMA TV23 1988/1989 season
--------------------------

January 1989 SST Death Flight
"Death Flight Song" (before show)
"Banana Boat Song"

May 7, 1989 The Million Eyes of Su-Muru
"Love Theme"

Comedy Channel 1989/90 season
-----------------------------

103 Mad Monster (Commando Cody part 2)
"Beverly Hillbillies Parody" (in movie)

[In theater:]

SERVO: Come'n listen to a story about a man named Jed,
      A poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed,
      Then one day he was shootin' at some fooooooood--

JOEL:  And up from the swamp came a big ugly dude.

SERVO: Wolfman, that is.
      Black teeth.
      [] face.

      Well, the next thing you know, old Jed's really scared.
      The kin folks said, "Jed, get away from there!"
      Said, "My cabin is the place you outta be,"
      So he loaded up his drawers and he told his family.


Transcribed by Lisa Jenkins.

104 Women of the Prehistoric Planet
"Clay & Lar's Flesh Barn"

[On the satellite:]

JOEL: Hey, sirs.  Uh, wha--what's up?

[In Deep 13:]

LARRY:  Our income if this new gig works out.

DR. FORRESTER: Yes.  Larry and I have developed a new chain of fast food
restaurants with very low overhead because we don't cook our food.

LARRY: 'Cause frying and broiling takes out a lot of the neutrients.

DR. FORRESTER: Yes.  Uh, if your body likes another body, why don't you try
one of our burgers a la natrale?  It's, uh, ripped from the bone to your plate
in seconds.  It's Clay and Lar's Flesh Barn.  Ha, ha.  Uh, make with the
lyrics, Larry.  [picks up model of Flesh Barn]

LARRY: [brings out guitar]
      If you're tired of the same old fare,
      You've got a friend named Clay and Lar.
      All our meat is guaranteed rare
      Because we don't cook it!

DR. FORRESTER: You see, cooking takes out all the flavor.

LARRY: If you're tired of cookin' at home,
      Try our meat right off the bone.
      If you listen, you can hear it moan
      Because we don't cook it!

DR. FORRESTER: Stunned, killed right at your table, eviscerated, very fresh.

LARRY: Now, there's no need for you to drive through,
      Our fresh meat will walk out to you.
      You'll say hi, you'll say moo,
      It's Clay and Lar's Flesh Barn.

DR. FORRESTER: Fifteen locationsto serve you, now in Altoona.


Transcribed by Lisa Jenkins.

109 Project Moonbase (Commando Cody parts 7 & 8)
"Commando Cody Song"

[In theater:]

SERVO: You are watching Commando Cody
      And it's a new character from Republic.
      He gets in trouble every week
      But he's saved by editing.

      Just a tweak of the nipple sends him on his way
      A pumpkin head and a rocket-pack, he'll save the day.

JOEL:  His laboratory is a boxing ring.
      When bad guys come to mix it up,
      Somebody always gets kidnapped,
      And Cody has to fix it up.

      He drinks his tea at Al's cafe'
      And flies along on wires.
      He beats up crooks and flies with hooks
      And puts out forest fires.

CROW:  Bad guys beware, Cody is there.
      You'll like his hair, it's under his helmet 'cause we couldn't
        think of a good rhyme
      And that's the end of the Commando Cody theme song,
      So sit right back (and) with a will of granite
      And watch chapter 8 "The Enemy Planet."

Transcribed by Lynn-Anne Friese.

110 Robot Holocaust (Commando Cody part 9)
"Human"


Comedy Channel/Central 1990/91 season
-------------------------------------

202 The Sidehackers
"Sidehackin'"

Music:  The Brains

[On the satellite:]

[Crow is on guitar, Servo has drums]

JOEL: [carries in Ultamate blue screen] All right, well.  We've gotta really
neat treat for you guys.  We worked on some heavy charts about sidehackin'.
Cambot, I want you to run that race footage in there?  On the, uh, Chromakey.
Okay, you guys--vamp.

[music starts]

JOEL: Yeah, I'm trapped up in outer space.  Sometimes my life feels like a big
pile of nothin'.  So what?  Word.  I live with it.  Dig it.  But anyway, we
[sic] and my bloods would like to wail out a song about our friends, the
sidehackers.  Goes like this:

SERVO: 1, 2.  1, 2, 3, 4.

JOEL: [sings]
     Sidehackin' is the thing to do
     When it doesn't hurt to have a low IQ.
     Take a life you like and a litO, sidehack it, Crow!

[music breakdown]

SERVO: Whoo!  Oh, go, Crow!

JOEL: It's a sport that attracts a lot of racing fools.
     A lot of people get hurt 'cause there are no rules.
     All you need is a toxic landfill,
     A cycle and a sidecar and an urge to kill.
     Better get with the sport 'cause it won't last long;
     The founders of this sport are at Forest Lawn.

Transcribed by Lisa Jenkins, with help from Mitch Gelly and Dave Harris.


"Love Pads the Film"

[On the satellite:]

JOEL: [carries in keyboard] Oh, brother!

SERVO: Boy!  What a depressing film!

CROW: Yeah!  Talk about nihilism.  That's the second film in a row that had the
hero die in the end.

SERVO: Boy, we're never gonna snap outa this existential dilemma.

JOEL: [begins to to play keyboard]  Oh, I was afriad this would happen, so I
brought this thing along.

SERVO: Joel, why was the movie so *BAD*?!

CROW: Yeah!  It was cool in the beginning with the sidehacking, then it went
right down the drain and they had to pad out the rest of the film with all
that killing.

JOEL: Oh, no, Crow.  It wasn't killing that padded out the film.

CROW: Huh?

JOEL: Only love pads the film.

[sings]

     When stories were young
     And dreams were not done
     A sorrow was so far away.
     A storybook scene
     With songs to be sung
     And life--life was just for today.

SERVO: Oh, Joel!

JOEL: But nothing lasts forever.
     Only love pads the film.
     Of all the dreams you'll treasure
     Only love--love pads the film.

SERVO: Joel, may I?

JOEL: Please.

SERVO: [sings]
     The love that you made
     Were two hearts in one.
     Our flowers still blow in the wind.

Crow.

CROW: You give all you take--
     A day in the sun--
     But even the sun must descend.

JOEL: Everybody, now.  Come on.

CROW: Ta-da!

ALL: But nothing lasts forever.

GYPSY: Forever.

ALL: Only love--

GYPSY: Only love--

ALL: --pads the film.

GYPSY: --pads the film.

ALL: OBo hoo hoo hoo.

JOEL: Geez.  What's wrong, Tom Servo?  You look as upset and downtrodden as a
little robot with inarticulate limbs *CAN* look.

SERVO: Oh, it's Creepy Girl, Joel.  I just met a girl named Creepy Girl.  And
suddenly, I find--

[music starts, lights dim]

CROW: I smell a song comin' on!

SERVO: Boo hoo hoo!  Oh, Creepy Girl.

[sings]

      Lyle Waggoner's a total jerk,
      second only to Tommy Kirk.
      Could you find it in your heart
      to love a 'bot like me-hee-heee?
      That fishy story you tell
      always makes me slee-hee-pyy,
      but that's just what I get
      for dating a girl that's cree-hee-pyyy!
      My Cree-hee-py Gir-hirl!

[spoken]

Oh, "C" is for that feeling of uncertainty for not quite knowing what ethnic
group you're from.  "R" is for the gifts you give me every time you smile.
The first "E" is for--uh, well, I don't really know.  But the second "E" is
really a grammatical thing 'cause otherwise it would be "Crepy Girl," and
where would that leave us?  The "P" is definitely not for "platonic."  And
"Y?"  Because I love you!

[sings]

      My-hyyyyy--!
      Cree-hee-py Gir-hirl!

[spoken]

Oh, what are you Creepy Girl?  Are you French, Italian, or one of those
swarthy Gypsy-types?  Haha.  Well, you're accent suggests a romance language,
but I can't be sure.  Oh, we can definitely rule out a Germanic language.  But
it's okay!  I am a 'bot without a country.  All I know is that I love you!  I
want to shout it from the mountain tops!  Uh, but, I'd have to get back down
to Earth and actually *CLIMB* a mountain.  Or they could just drop me off on a
mountain.  I don't care!  That would be okay, because I just--need--*YOU*!

[sings]

      My-yyyy. . . Cree-hee-py Gir-hirl!
      Won't you be mi-hee-hiiine?!
      I'll give you scrolls and fish
      and tinker-toys and wi-hee-hiiine!
      I'll ditch these guys
      if you'll be myyy Cree-hee-py Gir-HIRL!
      Be-hee mi-hine before
      moo-hoo-vie si-i-i-i-rle the world?

CROW: Yeah!

[In Deep 13:]

FRANK: Hey, it wasn't my fault that we showed that Phantom Creep at the end.
Dr. Forrester calls all the shots around here.  If you ask me, that chauffeur
had the right idea.  As a matter of fact, I prepared a little number:

[Spotlight on Frank who gets out of cardboard limo and dons chauffeur hat and
white gloves.  Dr. Forrester "sits" in back of limo reading paper.]

FRANK: If chauffeurs ruled the world--
      it's what I'd like to see
      'cause everyone in the world
      would take a back seat to me.
      I wouldn't have to drive--
      I wouldn't have to steer--
      'cause all would bow down before me
      in total abject fear.
      All the gorgeous dames
      would worship at my feet!
      Why--I could have any one of them I want!
      Even Meryl Steep!
      I'd have complete respect
      of everyone on the planet
      including intellectuals,
      even Daved Mamet.

[Frank dusts off cardboard car and Dr. Forrester who gets angry at this.]

FRANK: Tell me, why do I have to take
      orders from this guy?
      I'd like to drop him a bucket of boiling grease
      and watch him slowly die.

DR. FORRESTER: That's enough, Frank.

FRANK: If chauffeurs ruled the world--

DR. FORRESTER: That's enough, Frank!  *FRANK!*  [Picks up cardboard limo and
dumps it over Frank's head.]

FRANK: --is what I'd like to see--

DR. FORRESTER: That's enough!

FRANK: --'cause everyone in the world
      would take a back seat to me--Mommy!

[Dr. Forrester dumps newspaper on top of Frank.]

DR. FORRESTER: That's enough, Frank.

[On the satellite:]

JOEL: We think your song is--

ALL: --*FABULOUS!*

[In Deep 13:]

FRANK: [choked with tears]
      If chauffeurs ruled the world,
      it's what I'd like to see,
      but I guess some other palooka will rule the world
      [snorts with tears]
      No, not me.

DR. FORRESTER: Push the button, Judy Garland.  [Frank sobs with tears.]  Push
the button, Fra
JOEL: It's Wild Rebels cereal, the nutritious cereal that's like getting hit
in the back of the head with a surf board of flavor.

SERVO: Look!  Marshmallow Fatties!

CROW: Sugary Lindas!

JOEL: I got tangy, twangy Banjos!

SERVO: Crunchy Oat Rods!

CROW: And cheaters too--  Die cheater *DIE*!!

[music stops]

MOM: Kids?  What are you doing in there?

ALL: Having a good breakfast, Mom!

[music starts]

SERVO: Pour on the milk!  1, 2.  1, 2, 3, 4.

ALL: Wild Rebels!
    Punchy, crunchy rebels!
    Don't bust your teeth on something sweet and hard!

JOEL: Wild Rebels cereal part of this complete breakfast.

CROW: Hey!  There's a cheap surprise inside!

JOEL: I got a gun!

SERVO: I got a sawed off pool cue with a leather strap!

CROW: I got a chunck of hose filled with lead shot!

SERVO: Awright!  Let's take it home!

ALL: They won't get soft or squishy.
    Better eat 'em or you're a sissy.
    Just pound 'em down you stupid clown--
    THEY'RE WILD....!!!!

JOEL: Wild Rebels cereal, just eat 'em.

ALL: Oh!  We got movie sign!

[In theater:]

JOEL: Wow, fruity, kookie rebels

SERVO: Umm hmmm, nutty.


Transcribed by Johnny Klonaris and Lisa Jenkins.

210 King Dinosaur (X Marks The Spot)
"Joey the Lemur"

[On the satellite:]

JOEL: I wrote a song and sketch about the lemur.

SERVO: All right.  [clears throat]
      It's Joey the Lemur, the friend to mankind,
      Our furry sort of monkey friend who really does shine.  Hey!

JOEL: Joey the Lemur, he's really fun to have around to huggle and talk to
       and fun fun fun!

CROW: Joey the Lemur, he'll run everywhere.
     Joey the Lemur, what kind of heck of animal is he anyway?
     Umh uh...Joey the Lemur, the kind of animal that would go to the
       bathroom anywhere.
     Joey--

JOEL: Wait a minute, hold it!

CROW: Huh?

JOEL: Just hold it.

CROW: But there's more!

SERVO: Hey!

JOEL: That's okay.

CROW: Oh.

JOEL: This is the lemur.  Native to the Philippines and Madago the primate world who's often uh, who's often mistaken for our friend the
chimpanzee.  But don't make any mistake, I'm not saying anything wrong about
our chimpanzee brethren, only that I wish--here's wishing they'd throw a
little more work our way, all right?

CROW: Lemur, the lemur, L-E-M-U-R.  Uh, I--hey!

JOEL: [as lemur] Hey, who's this bird-dog-thing, I don't like him!

SERVO: L is for LEMUR!

JOEL: [as lemur] L is for lemur, 'nuff said!

CROW: E is for EAT!

JOEL: [as lemur] E is for eat.  I eat four times my own weight in nuts and
berries, which has its consequences, but go figure!

CROW: M is for MONKEY!

JOEL: [as lemur] Monkey.  I'm often mistaken for a monkey.  It goes with the
turf.  Let's go!

SERVO: U is for UNUSUAL!

CROW: And UNPREDICTABLE!

JOEL: [as lemur] Unpredictable is right!  I once took a whiz on Johnny
Carson's sportcoat--I don't panel well.  Okay, on with the show!

SERVO: R is for RADICAL!

CROW: And RAMBUNCTIOUS!

JOEL: [as lemur] Randy as a jackrabbit, that's me alright!  Whoooooo!

SERVO: Yes, it's the splendiferous lemur....

CROW: ...friend to all mankind!

JOEL: [as lemur] Please consider me as a possible corporate symbol or mascot
suitable and fine for any professional or semi-professional sport team.

CROW and SERVO: It's the (CROW: magnificent/SERVO: splendiferous) *LEEEMURRR*!

JOEL: [as lemur] I, the lemur, beg you to consider me.  I am willing to travel
and would make an excellent companion to any elderly or unelderly...elderly
person.  Gentlemen, please consider me.  Thank you.  Won't you?  Thank you.


Transcribed by Ryan Franklin, Jason Corley and Lisa Jenkins.

212 Godzilla vs. Megalon
"Jet Jaguar Fight"

213 Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
"Godzilla Geneaology Bop"

[In the satellite:]

CROW: Joel?

JOEL: Yeah.

CROW: Joel!  Jo--

JOEL: Uh, over here, yeah.

CROW: Oh, there you are.  Uh, I'm confused.  Uh, Just who is this Godzilla
guy?

SERVO: Yes, wise one.  Please, teach us.

JOEL: I don't know 
SERVO: Come on, let's cut to the chase you couple of geeks, and get to the
family tree!

CROW: Huh?

JOEL: Well, it started with a nuclear blast and pets that were released.

SERVO: Oh, like--

SERVO and CROW: --baby alligators and other nasty beasts?

JOEL: Right. The fusion reaction caused them to grow a thousand times their
size.

SERVO: Oh.

CROW: Well, that explains Godzilla's attractive tail and thunderous thighs!

JOEL: Right.

SERVO: Ah!

JOEL: Now you're getting it little buddy--

CROW: Ah!

JOEL: --but now we must move on.

SERVO: Uh hu.

JOEL: Godzilla's not the only one to benefit from the A-bomb.

SERVO: Yeah.  Look, there's Aunty Ness from Scotland's Loch, they married in
the spring.  And their first-born was Godzookie, and now we begin to sing!

[in background]

Bop be du-bop!  Be du-bidie du be du bop....

[you got the picture....]

CROW: Godzookie went to Hollywood, an agent to the stars.  He had an affair
with Lorna Lufts and smoked a big cigar.

SERVO: And outa the lust of the love affair Rob Pearlman resulted.

CROW: Hu!

JOEL: You know, surgery was considered for him, but nobody was consulted!  Oh,
I did it again.

CROW: Then Ron met Yoko Ono, and they began to spawn a couple of hundred
horrible things as green as [forest lawn].

SERVO: There they are: there's Kermit the Frog, the Swamp Thing, Hulk, and
       Earnest Borgnine too!

CROW: But Earnest Borgnine isn't green!

SERVO: Well put him on a boat and he is!

JOEL and CROW: *WHAT?!*

SERVO: Hey!  Who's that at the bottom, a-wallowin' in his shame?

CROW: Oh, that's just Steve Guttenberg of Police Academy fame.

SERVO: Hu.

JOEL: To wrap it up, the worst mutation...

CROW: No, you don't suppose?!

SERVO: Oh yes it is, the horror of horrors--

ALL: --Karl Baldwin's nose!

SERVO and CROW: Ohhhh nooooo!

JOEL: We got movie--commercial sign on top.

CROW: Dig it.


Transcribed by (jka@math.ufl.edu) and Lisa Jenkins.


Comedy Central 1991/92 season
-------     Oh, Tibby.  My Tibby,
      reality's hard.
      So Tibby,
      let's play in the yaaaaaaard!
      Oooooooh, Tibby!  Oh, Tibby!

[Crow enters]

      He runs like the wind.
      A couple of inches--aha!--
      and then back again!
      Oooh-doh-doooh.

CROW: Uh, may I take a verse?

SERVO: Oooo-doo-doooo.  Well, if you feel it, Crow.

CROW: Oh, I--do.  Ahem!

SERVO: Well, Crow.  Then by all means.  Join me, won't you?

CROW: 5, 6, 7, 8.

      Tippyyyy--!

SERVO: It's *TIBBY*!  *TIBBY!*

CROW: Oh, sorry.  Sorry.  Sorry.

      I love you my fine lit-tle fellaaa!
      Even though you gave the whole fam-i-ly salmonellaaa!

[lights rise, music stops, Joel enters]

SERVO: No!  No!  It's not their fault!

CROW: Hee hee hee hee!

SERVO:  It isn't their fault! Crow, you take everything good and--!  You rip
my heart out!!!  [sobs]

CROW: Geez, I'm--I'm sorry.

JOEL: C'mon, Crow, let'm finish his song.

CROW: Oh, okay.

JOEL: Go ahead, Tom.

CROW: It's just a stupid ol' turtle.

JOEL: Go ahead, Tom.

[Servo stops crying, lights dim, spotlight on Tibby]

SERVO: Thank you, Cambot.

[music begins]

      Tibby.  My Tibby,
      your blood may be cold,
      but I know that your heart
      burns as hot as a coal!
      It burns with the love
      only turtles can feel!
      Tibby--!

[spoken]

Is our love real?

My Tibby, I'll never let the dog nose around your bowl, but you know that
don't you?  I can see it in your beady, little eyes!  If you high-center on
your rock, Tibby, I'll be there to help you down!

[sings]

      The toilet's not your fate, friend!
      You'll always run freeeeeee!
      Tibby--!
      Long as you have meeeeeeeeeeee!

[music ends]

CROW: D'you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?

JOEL: That was really good, Tom.

SERVO: [sob] Thank you.

JOEL: We got Commercial Sign.


Transcribed by J.D. Shull and Lisa Jenkins.

303 Pod People
"Burning Rubber Tires"

[In the satellite:]

GYPSY: Hear the engines roll now.

JOEL, SERVO and CROW: Idiot control now.

GYPSY: Idiot control now.

JOEL, SERVO and CROW: Hideous control now.

GYPSY: Hideous control now.

JOEL, SERVO and CROW: Needy on the road now.

GYPSY: Needy on the road now.

JOEL, SERVO and CROW: Needy in control,
Wheels on fire,
Burning rubber tires!

GYPSY: Tires!

[In Deep 13:]

DR. FORRESTER: He's pretty good.

FRANK: Good?  He's the *BEST*!

[In the satellite:]

JOEL, SERVO and CROW: Near each other rolls now.

GYPSY: Near--now.

JOEL, SERVO and CROW: He really likes to go now.

GYPSY: He--like--go.

JOEL, SERVO and CROW: Needy inches bow down.

GYPSY: Bow down!

JOEL, SERVO and CROW: Pity and a poor boy.

GYPSY: Poor boy!

JOEL, SERVO and CROW: Hear the X's roll,
Peas on a pod,
Burning rubber tires.

GYPSY: Tires!

[In Deep 13:]

DR. FORRESTER: Oh great.

FRANK: Say!

DR. FORRESTER: Pretty good.

FRANK: Yeah!

DR. FORRESTER: Whadda think?

[In the satellite:]

JOEL: It stinks!


Transcribed by Lisa Jenkins.

"Clown in the Sky"

[On the satellite:]

[music plays in background, Servo whistles]

JOEL: Well, guys, looks like it's time to pack it all in again.

CROW: Yeah.  We are the stuff dreams are made of.

SERVO: Oh, that's beautiful, Crow!  Shakespeare?

CROW: Uh, no.  Burmashave, act--

SERVO: Oh, well I--huh?

JOEL: [as he takes Crow apart] You know, guys, it always hurts--

CROW: Ow!

JOEL: --to close it all up--

SERVO: Yeah.

JOEL: --strike the set--

CROW: Ow!  Geez!

JOEL: --wipe off the grease paint--

SERVO: Yeah.

JOEL: --uh, napkin up the blood and entrails--

CROW: Ouch!

JOEL: --and move on to another town.

CROW: Uh, oh.  I smell a song.

SERVO: Mmmm hmmm.

JOEL: [sings]
     Tell me where does all the magic go--

SERVO: [in background] Ooooo!

JOEL: When the curtain falls to end the show?
     Do the clowns always cry
     When they pack up the paper sky,
     And the champaign is being poured,

JOEL: Uh, Servo, if you don't stop doing your Anthony Newly, I'm gonna throw
you against the wall.

CROW: He'll do it, too.

JOEL: [sings]
     Will there still be a clown in the sky--

SERVO: Help us out, Crow!

JOEL, SERVO and CROW: Still be a clown in the sky--

SERVO: Take it home, Joel!

JOEL: Tell me, where is that clown in the sky for me?

[spoken]

     I love you, Tom Servo.

SERVO: I love you, Joel.

JOEL: I love you, Crow.

CROW: You're not my real father!

JOEL: Wadda think, sirs?

[In Deep 13:]

DR FORRESTER and FRANK: It stinks!

