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Bernzomatic Tricks

A Bernzomatic is one of those little portable two-tank welding & soldering
blowtorches. The mayhem applications of such a device are nearly innumerable.

- Try any of my Krazy Glue tricks that stick metal together, with a
  Bernzomatic.
- Solder that dick's bike's wheels, or handlebars, or brakes, stuck. These
  could not be done with Krazy Glue.
- Weld locker doors shut. Works even better than with Krazy Glue 'coz there's
  no solvent for this.
- If you see a bike chained to a fence, you can either weld the chain to both
  the fence and the bike, or solder the keyhole/combo knob stuck.
- Make modern art out of school desks: Weld them all together in a pseudo
  random arrangement.
- Take battery, spark plugs, starter motor, or whatever out of car so it won't
  start. Then weld hood on.
- Deflate enemy tires; weld wheel nuts on so tire can't be removed. Krazy Glue
  the valve so it can't be refilled either.
   
Be creative (destructive?)

More pranks:

- Have fun switching price tags in the local department store or labels in the
  supermarket.
- Go to the trick and joke shop and get a BIG rubber spider. Go  to the 
  liquor store with this and put the spider in a bottle (twist off caps are
  best)
- Place motor oil all over stairways and ramps.
- Wipe boogers on buttons of elevators and other things (only if you are REAL
  gross)
- Go to Radio Shack. You know how all the parts hang from hooks in little
  plastic bags stapled to a card?  Krazy Glue a few thousand of those to
  the hooks they hang from. Do this to shelved stock as well; if you don't
  make yourself look suspicious you will appear to be "just looking".
  You can also do this in drugstores and other stores, but I have named
  Radio Shack 'coz I was thrown out of one once for knowing more about the
  TRS-80 on display than the manager...
- If you live in an area with no cable TV, go up on your enemy's roof at a
  time when he is not there to hear your footsteps, and re-aim his
  antenna in a random direction. If he has a rotator, Krazy Glue its gears
  so it will not rotate the aerial.
- Attach a bud box to your enemy's house. Then, blue-box thru it a lot
  and at a dangerous time. Watch him try to explain it to Bell!
- If you can get access to your enemy's computer without him knowing, remove
  a few choice chips. Like ROM, the 6502, a few RAMS, or the Video chip.
  The Keyboard Rom is ideal - leave in other chips, and your enemy will have
  a working machine EXCEPT...
  (for comod0res: pull the kbd CIA chip)
- Similarly, if you have the same machine as your school, you have a
  supply of spare parts for free! All you do is, when you have a blown
  chip, take it out of your machine, go to school, wait until you can have
  2 minutes ALONE in the computer room, and then swap your blown chip for the
  good one in one of your school's machines. ESPECIALLY EASY if your
  school has Apples, coz then you don't need to fuck with unscrewing
  anything. The school will NEVER ask questions, they will assume the chip
  blew from natural causes (which it actually did, but not in their 
  machine) and they will PROMPTLY fix it themselves, so you will not even
  be without the use of a school computer for long! Also, if you are
  caught red-handed, just say you are trying to get the disk card to work
  or something; if they discover the blown chip right away they might
  think you "accidentally" blew it and may make you pay for it (at their
  reduced school rate!) but that is the VERY worst that can happen if you are
  REALLY stupid.
- Remember the Hockey-puck Krazy Glue trick of my last file? Well, glue
  your enemy's records into one big long cylinder in the same manner.
- Let's see how fast that rotary razor will run with the blades Krazy Glued
  to the screen!
- Steal a box of your enemy's favorite disks. If he has any wares
  on it that you want, copy them. Then, open them all up, and, with RUBBER
  GLOVES ON so as not to fuck up his data, randomly place the actual disks
  in other jackets, so that the labels on his disks are completely wrong.
  Krazy Glue the jackets shut so he won't get suspicious.
  Now, at your earliest convenience, return his disks (stick them under a
  desk at school or something so he will think he lost them), and wait
  for him to try and boot up some! "Gee, I think I'll play Karateka....
   What? Applewriter? What the fuck..."
- If your enemy has a Commodore 64, give him a disk of neat0 programs.
  Include a file called "auto-boot menu", which he will 
  assume is exactly what its name implies.
  Now, the file with that name should be as follows:
  You may have heard of programs that
  can format 40 tracks on the 1541. You should also know that this knocks the
  drive head against the track 35 post. "Auto-boot menu" should 
  repeatedly, non-stop, bang the head against this post in an attempt to
  format/read/write track FIFTY. This will totally FUCK his alignment to
  death, and if he is stupid and has never read comodore magazines,
  he will go to a computer store and pay a hundred bucks or so
  to get it fixed.
  (HINT: you cannot do this using DOS, you must program the stepper motor.)
- Take your enemy's disk notcher. When you get home with it, take it apart.
  If it is the kind that resembles a one-hole punch, then remove the
  blade and return it to him. If it is the plastic Taihaho job, take off
  the 2 screws at the bottom. Take out the blade, which should be bevelled.
  Grind it so it is completely rectangular, then file the edge so it
  is dull. Put it back together and return it to your enemy. I guarantee
  you, he will never use it again.
- Take a piece of square (1/2") mild steel stock about a foot long and,
  under heat, bend it into the shape of a horseshoe magnet. Paint it red.
  It should have no magnetic field at all, but surrepetitiously place it
  underneath all of your enemy's disks.  You will do no damage but the look on
  his face...
- If you REALLY hate your enemy then just go out and buy a real magnet,
  and do the same thing.
- Krazy glue ALL the buttons in an elevator so they cannot be pushed.
  Great to do in REALLY tall buildings.


Well I hope that gives you a few MORE ideas, have fun making thy foes
miserable.

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