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		     How to Make Bugs Breakdance
			  By: The Daredevil



  Hello, name's Daredevil.  I am about to present you with step by step
instructions on how to make insects and such to dance around like Michael
Jackson.  Havoc Chaos and I figured this out while over at Havoc's home.  Bugs
can breakdance, despite popular belief!

  The first thing you will need is a neat pair of tweezers.  Their use will
become obvious later in this SoftDoc.  While tweezers work best, I also
recommend scissors and (oops.) exacto-knives for those without shaky hands.

  The next thing you will need is a bug.  I highly recommend flies, as they are
abundant, and nobody really misses them.  Some people get angry if you use
insects like spiders or crickets.  (Don't ask me, darn those enviromentalists.)

  Flies can be found around window sills, fresh meat, or any beer-guzzling
father.  They are pretty much easy to trap, but the catch is that you'll need
them alive.  Fly swatters and newspapers should not be used to catch these
little buggers.  Horse flies also are not recommended, as they are supposed to
bite.  (Hey, i've never been bitten.  If you have, send me E-Mail, okay?  -DD)
The common house fly works best.

  Now, capturing these pests alive is the thing.  Get a glass or something, and
trap it.  Wait a while, and watch it fly feebly around the jar looking for a way
out.  If you're smarter than you look, it won't get out.  It's real fun to shake
the jar and stun the sucker.

  Take the fly from the jar with a 'kleenex' or something of the like, and hold
it so it's pitiful wings are accessable to you.  Now, with the tweezers I
mentioned above, pull his wings off.

  (AUTHORS NOTE:  Some lesser minds have accually called me 'sadistic' because
of the fact that I pull flies wings off.  Well, you don't hear them complaining,
do you?  -DD)

  Anyways, now that his wings are gone, all he can do is hop and run around like
a complete fool.  Now, here's the fun part.(What do you mean, pulling the wings
off was the fun part!?)

  The first trick is to teach it the backspin.	Put your new-found pet in the
(a) corner in your room.  The fly will then attempt to climb the wall.	But, the
poor, pitiful creature won't make it.  He will fall to the dusty floor onto his
back.  This is where you come in.  If he isn't spinning around, then give him a
little help.  They will be back-spinning in no time at all!

  You'll notice that flies without wings jump around a lot.  This really looks
like a neat act, and they can really jump far.	(Coming next:  Fly Olympics?
Nahhh...)

  My favorite trick is to get a paper plate(You know, the cheap ones your mother
buys from K-Mart...) and put your friend on top of the plate.  Bounce him up and
down on the plate, and watch him attempt to walk afterwards.  It's really neat.

  Well, this is just about all of the neat little tricks you can do with bugs.
You can take up boring Sunday afternoons with this pasttime, and maybe we'll se
a breakdancing bugs contest one of these days.	Maybe not.

  (ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Lord Omega of Shadow Keep BBS suggests to spray them
with 'Windex' and other household items.  They really get weird, according to
him.)

  I just also wanted to point out that Havoc the Chaos's Stepmother warned us
that pulling wings off of flies was beginning signs of insanity.  We are not in
ANY way responsible for people's sanity, after they take up this sport.  It was
rumored that Charles Manson liked to play with flies...
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