Guide to Computer Language BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in "Our son's computer cost quite a bit." BOOT: What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills. BUG: What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: what computer magazine companies do to you after they get your name on their mailing list. CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals. COPY: What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time at the computer and not enough time studying. CURSOR: What you turn into when you can't get your computer to perform, as in "You $#$%&@#$ computer!" DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven hours at a clip. DUMP: The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install your computer. ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into a computer showroom to "just look." EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals. FILE: What your secretary can now do to her nails six and a half hours a day, now that the computer does her day's work in 30 minutes. FLOPPY: The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food. (see "Chips"). HARDWARE: Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes and other heavy equipment you haven't laid a finger on since getting your computer. IBM: The kind of missile your family members and friends would like to drop on your computer so you'll pay attention to them again. MENU: What you'll never see again after buying a computer because you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant. MONITOR: Often thought to be a word associated with computers, this word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who always want to see your hall pass at school. PROGRAMS: Those things you used to look at on your television before you hooked your computer up to it. RAM: What you do to the side of your computer when it's not working properly. RETURN: What lots of people do with their computers after only a week and a half. TERMINAL: A place where you can find buses, trains and really good deals on hot computers. WINDOW: What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally erase a program that took you three days to set up. VUARNET INT'L: A BBS in Boston specializing in text philes, message bases, and home of the naked Co-Ed BBS team. -/Vuarnet International/- 617/527.oo91 24oo-16.8k HST/V32bis