D A T A P R O C E S S I N G D E F I N I T I O N S ACCESS TIME- THE TIME BETWEEN THE INSTANT AT WHICH INFORMATION IS CALLED FOR, AND THE INSTANT AT WHICH MANAGEMENT EXPECTS THE FINAL REPORT. ASSEMBLER- ONE WHO DROPS HIS CARD DECK. BIT- THE INCREMENT BY WHICH PROGRAMMERS SLOWLY GO MAD. BREAKPOINT- THE POINT AT WHICH PROGRAMMER INCREMENTS PAST LAST BIT AVAILABLE. CHAINING- A METHOD OF ATTACHING PROGRAMMERS TO DESK, TO SPEED UP OUTPUT. CHECKPOINT- THE LOCATION FROM WHICH A PROGRAMMER DRAWS HIS SALARY. CORE STORAGE- A RECEPTACLE FOR THE CENTER SECTION OF APPLES. COUNTER- AN AREA OVER WHICH MARTINI'S ARE SERVED. CRASH- WHAT A DETACHED (Q.V.) PROGRAMMER WOULD DEARLY LOVE TO DO, FOR AT LEAST EIGHT HOURS. DEFAULT- DE LINE WEST OF WHICH DE STATE OF CALIFORNIA WILL FLOAT OFF TO SEA AT DE NEXT MAJOR QUAKE. DETACHED- WHAT PROGRAMMER BECOMES AFTER THIRD DAY WITHOUT SLEEP. DEVICE- MEDIEVAL TORTURE INSTRUMENT SUCH AS THUMBSCREW, IRON MAIDEN. DISKETTES- A GROUP RECENTLY FORMED FROM OLD MEMBERS OF THE ROCKETTES. DOCUMENTATION- A MANUAL WHICH TELLS YOU HOW TO USE A PROGRAM, SYSTEM, OR UTILITY ONE VERSION AGO, AND WHICH IS NOW UNSUPPORTED. ERROR- WHAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS MADE WHEN THEY DISAGREE WITH YOUR COMPUTER OUTPUT. EXTERNAL STORAGE- WASTEBASKET FIXED WORD LENGTH- FOUR LETTER WORD USED BY PROGRAMMERS IN A STATE OF CONFUSION. FLOATING CONTROL- CHARACTERISTIC EXHIBITED WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, BUT CAN'T LEAVE THE COMPUTER. FLOATING POINT- THE ABSOLUTE LIMIT BEFORE FLOATING CONTROL IS LOST. HARDWARE- NUTS, BOLTS, AND CIRCUIT BOARDS "LEFT OVER" AFTER REPAIRMAN HAS REASSEMBLED CPU. HOST- PERSON WHO INSISTS ON KEEPING VISITING PROGRAMMER UP UNTIL 4 AM WITH TRIVIA. I/O DEVICE- NOTE YOU SIGN FOR THE BANK IN/ORDER TO GET LOAN FOR NEW (OLD) CAR. LIBRARY- AN ORGANIZED COLLECTION OF OBSOLETE MATERIAL. LOAD- WHAT YOU DUMP AFTER REACHING FLOATING POINT. LOW ORDER POSITION- THE PROGRAMMER'S LOCATION IN THE CHAIN OF COMMAND. MAINFRAME- PRIMARY PERSON WHO JUST GOT SET UP FOR THE BLAME OF THE SYSTEM CRASH. MICROSECOND- AMOUNT OF TIME NEEDED FOR A PROGRAM TO BOMB. MONITOR- SHIP THAT FOUGHT THE MERRIMAC. NANOSECOND- MEASURE OF TIME ON MORK'S PLANET ORK. OFF-LINE- UNCHARITABLE REMARKS PROGRAMMER MAKES TO WIFE OR HUSBAND UPON BEING PHONED AT 9PM TO COME IN BECAUSE SYSTEM JUST CRASHED. ON-LINE- PROGRAMMER TRYING TO DEAL RATIONALLY ON PHONE WITH MANAGEMENT AT 9PM. PERIPHERAL- NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU DON'T... PRINTOUT- A DOCUMENT TO VERIFY DATA YOU KNOW IS WRONG ANYWAY. PROGRAMMER- RED EYED MUMBLING MAMMAL, CAPABLE OF COMMUNICATING WITH INANIMATE OBJECTS. SOURCE FILE- ONE WHICH WAS "APPROPRIATED" FROM ONE OF THE COMPETITORS. SWITCH- WHEN MANAGEMENT CHANGES ITS MIND. TERMINAL- CONDITION OF DETACHED PROGRAMMER THREE DAYS FURTHER ALONG.