F I D O N E W S Volume 16, Number 45 08 Nov 1999 +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+ | The newsletter of the | ISSN 1198-4589 Published by: | | FidoNet community | "FidoNews" | | _ | 1-717-732-6820 1:270/720 | | / \ | | | /|oo \ | | | (_| /_) | | | _`@/_ \ _ | | | | | \ \\ | Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720 | | | (*) | \ )) | DougM@paonline.com | | |__U__| / \// | | | _//|| _\ / | | | (_/(_|(____/ | | | (jm) | Newspapers should have no friends. | | | -- JOSEPH PULITZER | +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+ Table of Contents 1. ARTICLES ................................................. 1 R12 Election: the Runaround .............................. 1 2. COLUMNS .................................................. 5 Fidonet-related sites .................................... 5 Ol'WDB: Scientific Thinking .............................. 8 3. COMIX IN ASCII ........................................... 10 Cow-Operation ............................................ 10 4. NOTICES .................................................. 11 Future History ........................................... 11 5. FIDONEWS INFORMATION ..................................... 12 Masthead ................................................. 12 FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 1 8 Nov 1999 ================================================================= ARTICLES ================================================================= Here's a story, sad but true From Lesley-Dee through me to you About an RC she once knew And his tantrums when he was through Chorus: Stay away from the Runaround, Mike Lesley-Dee Dylan @1:250/201 as told to Doug Myers This strange story is, in part, the result of your editor trying to get someone from Region 12 to post news on the election there. Everyone was busy trying to get routed netmail working, and most considered that exercise to have more intrinsic value than trying to keep a demanding Snooze editor silent. However, Leslie-Dee did respond, though her responses got lost in routed netmail (okay, so maybe they had a point about priorities)! Earlier this week, Dee crashed me packets of the goings on in her regional echo where the election was being (kinda) conducted. Her effort was unsuccessful, though, in that I couldn't absorb the over 1 Meg of messages in time to write a comprehensive story. Just as we went to press it occurred to me, however, that Dee had summarized the latter part of the election in a post to me telling me why she couldn't write the story. So the poem at the beginning is to represent the fact that this is not a conventional article... more like poetry in motion. And the "as told to..." in the credits is to represent the fact that I absolutely did not even ask Dee if I could post her netmail, let alone ascribe the story to her. You'd think I'd learn to stop taking liberties with the Chief Super-Bitch, but the rest of the story is in her words, though extracted from two different netmail messages and edited. --------------- It begins with Shawn O'Connor posting a test message, responded to by Mike O'Connor, followed by Shawn O'Connor's announcement of the calling of the election. When Shawn is called on it, since he didn't have the authority to call an election, Mike O'Connor (then RC) came in and announced that he had been away on business and had to ask Shawn to make the post on his behalf. But he did have time to respond to the test post, just before Shawn posted the announcement, and it would have taken only a moment to say - Shawn will be posting the election information with my authority. The message base continues on through a comedy of errors, and flames and attacks, through four ballots, until Mike declares Darrell Salter the winner, in a rather farcical debacle. FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 2 8 Nov 1999 There are some real gems in there - look in particular for Steve Fredette's campaign poetry - a take off on HMS Pinafore. Please make an effort to get something from this to put into the Snooze. I am finally starting to recover a bit from this flu, but I'm still pretty sick, and I have a lot of other stuff to catch up on. This provides a perfect example of spontaneous human combustion of an elflord RC. It's absolutely classic. We were heading into yet another runoff, with an absolute tie between Darrell Salter and Steve Fredette, when Steve Fredette posted an hilarious message, from the alias of Mike O'Connor Jr.: From: Mike O'Connor Jr. Oct-30-99 11:53:08 To: All Oct-30-99 15:16:34 Subj: Runoff election --------------------------------------------------------- Dad phoned me from the rest home earlier today and asked if I would take over the job of returning officer for the election. He's having a hip replaced and can't spare the time right now. Don't get into a panic now, folks. I don't have nearly as much trouble with counting as Uncle Shawn did. The 923rd runoff begins on July 14, 2017 at 9:00pm and ends Friday, July 21, 2017 at 9:00pm. Results to date: Darrell Salter 27 Steve Fredette 27 17 votes invalidated due to sysops having passed away. From: Mike O'Connor Nov-03-99 20:58:32 To: All Nov-04-99 11:14:56 Subj: My vote --------------------------------------------------------- Steve just screwed himself. I withdraw my vote tallied under the password KillKenny. It's truly a sad state of affairs when mail forgery is considered funny. You are all pathetic. Bye. From: Mike O'Connor Nov-03-99 21:46:44 To: Darrell Salter Nov-04-99 11:14:56 Subj: Cheers --------------------------------------------------------- My condolences on your winning of the R12 election. A package is on FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 3 8 Nov 1999 it's way to your address. You've got till Thursday Nov 11 to set things up with the ZC. Cheers Mike From: Steve Fredette Nov-04-99 00:56:36 To: All Nov-04-99 11:14:20 Subj: Show of hands --------------------------------------------------------- All right people, how many of you actually thought my "Mike O'Connor Jr" post was funny? [pausing to count show of hands] Twelve. Ok, how many 'got' the joke, but thought it was juvenile, and not particularly amusing? [counting] Seventeen. (Hmmm... gotta try harder next time.) Ok, how many didn't get the joke at all, and actually believe that the real Mike O'Connor Jr (if there is one) actually teleported himself 18 years into the future, moved to Ottawa and posted a message from my system, and also doesn't know the difference between an alias and a forgery? [counting] One. ...Steve From: Mike O'Connor Jr. Nov-04-99 01:12:48 To: Mike O'Connor Nov-04-99 11:14:20 Subj: My vote --------------------------------------------------------- MO> You are all pathetic. Oh, fuck off, Dad. Grab a sense of humour. Drink your geritol and shut up. Or it's off to the pasture with you. Oh, by the way... the Directeur General des Elections du Quebec called again asking about you & uncle Shawn. The polls indicate that the upcoming 17th sovereignty referendum will be very close, and they need your 'special skills' again this year. ...Your loving son From: Steve Fredette Nov-04-99 11:42:50 To: All Nov-04-99 23:11:44 Subj: Show of hands --------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 4 8 Nov 1999 * Forwarded (from: STEVE) by Steve Fredette using timEd 1.10. * Originally from Mike O'Connor (1:167/166) to Steve Fredette (1:163/551). * Original dated: Thu Nov 04, 09:00 * Replying to a message originally in area REG12 SF> Twelve. Ok, how many 'got' the joke, but thought it SF> was juvenile, and not particularly amusing? Insulting a supporter is just plain stupid. BTW. You used my real name. I have the same name as my DAD. Fuckin idiot. SF> [counting] SF> real Mike O'Connor Jr (if there is one) actually That's me you fucken moron. Don't bother to reply. I've severed all links. Mike --------------------------------------------------------- So the result of our fourth ballot in the R12C election was 14 for Darrell Salter, and 14 for Steve Fredette, but at the last moment, Mike O'Connor withdrew his own vote for Steve, making it 13 for Steve, and declared Salter the winner. I told you the Reg12 election would be worth covering. :-) ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 5 8 Nov 1999 ================================================================= COLUMNS ================================================================= ------------------------------------------------------ ! = New entries this week ? = not responding ?? = unknown content, doesn't look like fidonet . -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- . | FIDONET-RELATED SITES | ` -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- ' Last update: Oct 29, 1999 FidoNet Homepage: http://www.fidonet.org FidoNews: http://www.fidonews.org [HTML] ftp://sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/ SDS Files: http://fidobbs.dk/download (Web Access to SDS) FTSC page: http://www.ftsc.org/ General: http://owls.com/~jerrys/fidonet.html List server: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/fidonet-discussion Zone 1: http://www.z1.fidonet.org Region 10: http://www.psnw.com/~net205/region10.html http://www.tnl-online.com/andy/rgn10.htm Net 103: http://www.webworldinc.com/club103/ Region 11: http://oeonline.com/~garyg/region11/ Net 2410: http://oeonline.com/~garyg/net2410/ Region 13: http://www.net264.org/r13.htm Net 264: http://www.net264.org/ Region 14: Net 282: http://www.rxn.com/~net282/ Region 17: http://www.nwstar.com/~region17/ Region 18: http://techshop.pdn.net/fido/ Region 19: http://members.home.net/hbh3/r19 Net 124: http://www.startext.net/np/net124 http://texoma.net/~flv Net 130: http://www.startext.net/homes/net130 Net 393: http://www.chatter.com/~wb/ Zone 1 Elist http://members.xoom.com/echolist/ Zone 2: http://www.z2.fidonet.org Region 20: http://www.fidonet.pp.se (in Swedish) Region 23: http://www.fido.dk (in Danish) Region 24: http://www.swb.de/personal/flop/gatebau.html (German) Fido-IP: http://home.nrh.de/fido/ (English/German) Region 25: http://www.literary.freeserve.co.uk/net2502/ Region 26: http://www.nemesis.ie REC 26: http://www.nrgsys.com/orb Region 27: http://telematique.org/ft/r27.htm Region 29: http://www.rtfm.be/fidonet/ (French) Region 30: http://www.fidonet.ch (German) ? Region 33: http://www.fidoitalia.net (Italian) FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 6 8 Nov 1999 Region 34: http://www.pobox.com/cnb/r34.htm (Spanish) REC34: http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/4552/ Region 36: http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/7207/ Region 38: http://public.st.carnet.hr/~blagi/bbs/adriam.html Region 41: http://www.fidonet.gr (Greek/English) Region 42: http://www.fido.cz Region 50: http://www.fido7.com/ (Russian) Net 5010: http://fido.tu-chel.ac.ru/ (Russian) Net 5015: http://www.fido.nnov.ru/ (Russian) Net 5030: http://kenga.ru/fido/ (Russian & English) ?? Net 5085: http://www.fidonet.uz/ (Russian) ? Zone 3: http://www.z3.fidonet.org Zone 4: Region 80: http://fidobrasil.8m.com (Portuguese) Region 90: Net 904: http://members.tripod.com/~net904 (Spanish) Zone 5: http://www.eastcape.co.za/fidonet/ Zone 6: http://www.z6.fidonet.org Region 65: http://www.cfido.com/fidonet/cfidochina.html (Chinese) Fidonet Via Internet Hubs a @ preceding an individual's name implies a virtual email address. The email is translated as follows firstlast@osirusoft.com will automatically route to the appropriate individual's email. Anyone in this list will also receive routed notice of this feature. In my case, it would still be joejared@osirusoft.com, but you get the idea. v-email flag firstnamelastname@osirusoft.com Node# | Operator | Facilities (*) | Speed | Basic Rate -----------+-------------------+----------------+-------+------------ Zone 1 | | | | 10/3 @ Brenda Donovan | FTP,UUE,BinkP | T1? | $??/$10 12/12 | Ken Wilson | FTP | T1 | $24mo. 13/25 @ Jim Balcom | FTP | 56k | $20mo. 103/301 @ Joe Jared | BinkP | aDSL | n/c 105/8 | Russ Johnson | FTP,BinkP,VMoT | 384k | n/c 105/72 @ Larry James | FTP | aDSL | $5/$15 mo. 106/1 @ Matt Bedynek | BinkP, FTP | 128k | n/c 106/6018 | Lawrence Garvin | FTP, VMoT | 64k | $5/mo 140/1 @ Bob Seaborn | FTP | T3 | $5/$16 167/133 | Stephen Monteith | BinkP | 128k+ | n/c 211/417 @ Korombos | BinkD,UUE,FTP | T1 | n/c 246/160 @ Mason Vye | FTP, UUE | 56K | n/c 270/101 @ George Peace | FTP | 6mbps | $20mo. 271/140 | Tom Barstow | UUE | T1 | n/c 280/169 | Brian Greenstreet | FTP | 33.6 | $2mo. 342/3 | Richard Dodsworth | BinkP,FTP | 128K+ | n/c 345/0 @ Todd Cochrane | FTP | T1 | n/c FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 7 8 Nov 1999 396/1 @ John Souvestre | FTP,VMoT | T1 | $10/mo 396/45 | Marc Lewis | UUE | 33.6 | $26/yr 2401/305 | Peter Rocca | FTP,UUE | T1 | unkn 2424/101 | Kari Suomela | FTP,VMoT,BinkP,UUE| T1 | n/c 2604/104 | Jim Mclaughlin | FTP,VMoT,UUE | 33.6 | $1mo 3613/1275 @ Jack Yates | UUE | 28.8 | n/c 2613/404 @ David Moufarrege | BinkP,FTP,VMoT | 128k+ | n/c 2624/306 @ D. Calafrancesco | VMoT | 33.6 | n/c 3632/84 | Robert Todd |FTP,VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 57.6k | n/c 3639/93 @ Ross Cassell | FTP, BinkP | 128K+ | n/c 3651/9 | Jerry Gause | FTP,VMoT | 33.6 | $3/$6 3803/1 @ Ben Ritchey | UUE | 56k | n/c -------------------------------------------------------------- Zone 2 | 20/11 | Henrik Lindhe | BinkP | ??? | n/c 31/1 | Gabriel Plutzar | BinkP | T1+ | n/c 203/600 | Mikael Karlsson | UUE | 64k | n/c 221/360 @ Tommi Koivula | BinkP,UUE | ??? | n/c 236/205 @ Michael Kaaber | BinkP | ??? | n/c 246/2098 | Volker Imre | BinkP | ??? | n/c 284/800 | Jeroen VanDeLeur | FTP,UUE | 64k | n/c 292/626 | Filip Ruymen | Binkp, UUE | 128K+ | n/c 292/2003 | Eric Vaneberck | BinkP | 768k | n/c 301/1 | Peter Witschi | BinkP | ??? | n/c 332/807 | Roberto Mascolo | BinkP | ??? | n/c 335/535 @ Mario Mure | BinkP,VMot,UUE | 64k | n/c 335/610 | Gino Lucrezi | UUE | 33.6 | n/c 344/201 | Julio Garcia | BinkP | ??? | n/c 346/3 @ Carlos Navarro | UUE | ??? | n/c 382/100 | Sinisa Burina | BinkP | ??? | n/c 406/555 | Marius Kaizerman | BinkP | ??? | n/c 406/555 | Ofir Michaeli & | BinkP | ??? | n/c 423/81 | Milos Bajer | BinkP | ??? | n/c 464/4077 | Serguei Trouchelle| UUE | 19.2 | n/c 465/204 | Va Milushnikov | BinkP | 33.6k | n/c 469/84 | Max Masyutin | VMoT | 256k | n/c 480/112 | Adam Sarapata| FTP, VMoT, UUE,BinkP| 128k | n/c 2411/413 @ Dennis Dittrich | UUE,BinkP | 64k | n/c 2446/301 | Lothar Behet | BinkP,VMoT,UUE,FTP | 64K | n/c 2474/275 | Christian Emig | UUE | 64k | unkn 5030/115 | Andrey Podkolzin | BinkP | ??? | n/c 5100/8 | Egons Bush | BinkP | ??? | n/c 5020/1159 | Gennady Kudryashoff | UUE | 33.6 | n/c -------------------------------------------------------------- Zone 3 633/260 @ Malcolm Miles | FTP,BinkP | 64K | n/c 640/954 | Rick Van Ruth | FTP,VMot,UUE,BinkP| 56K| n/c 774/605 @ Barry Blackford|BinkP,VMoT:10023,ifcico,FTP |33.6| n/c -------------------------------------------------------------- Zone 4 905/100 | Fabian Gervan | VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 128k | n/c 902/18 | Javier Tejedor | UUE | 33,6 | n/c -- FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 8 8 Nov 1999 * FTP = Internet File Transfer Protocol * VMoT = Virtual Mailer over Telnet (various) * UUE = uuencode<->email type transfers * BinkP = front end mailer for TCPIP networks ---------------------------------------------- Fidonet oriented news servers news.osirusoft.com (US west coast) agnese.fidoitalia.net (Italy) Fidonet oriented chat rooms. room #fidonet 5PM (PDT 10AM GMT) Sundays irc.isonline.com irc.killaz-r-us.com irc.korombos.org ---------------------------------------------- Please send updates, corrections and suggestions to Joe Jared, 1:103/301, joejared@osirusoft.com, and complaints to jarhead@osirusoft.com . ----------------------------------------------------------------- Ol'WDB: Scientific thinking at its best... The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing over time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave; therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions of the world. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 9 8 Nov 1999 there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This allows for two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So is it #1 or #2? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you." -- and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in winning Ms. Banyan's affections, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am certain Hell is exothermic and will not freeze." The student received the only "A" on the exam. (author unknown) ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 10 8 Nov 1999 ================================================================= COMIX IN ASCII ================================================================= \ / ________________________________ \/ / \ (__) /\ | At times likes these you | (oo) O O | REALLY CoVet a proper surgeon! | _\/_ // O \________________________________/ * ( ) // O \ (\\ // o \( \\ ) o ( \\ ) /\ ___[\______/^^^^^^^\__/) o-)__ |\__[=======______//________)__\ \|_______________//____________| ||| || //|| ||| ||| || @.|| ||| || \/ .\/ || . . '.'.` COW-OPERATION ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 11 8 Nov 1999 ================================================================= NOTICES ================================================================= Future History 31 Dec 1999 Hogmanay, Scotland. The New Year that can't be missed. 1 Jan 2000 The 20th Century, C.E., is still taking place thru 31 Dec. 1 Jun 2000 EXPO 2000 World Exposition in Hannover (Germany) opens. 15 Sep 2000 Sydney (Australia) Summer Olympiad opens. 21 Sep 2000 10 years of FidoNet in +7 (xUSSR) 1 Jan 2001 This is the actual start of the new millennium, C.E. -- If YOU have something which you would like to see in this Future History, please send a note to the FidoNews Editor. ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 12 8 Nov 1999 ================================================================= FIDONEWS INFORMATION ================================================================= FIDONEWS MASTHEAD Fidonews Staff: Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720, DougM@paonline.com Webmaster: Jim Barchuk, jb@fidonews.org Columnist: Joe Jared, 1:103/0, jarhead@osirusoft.com (Fido Via Internet Hubs column) Columnist: Warren D. Bonner, 1:103/401, wdbonner@pacbell.net (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB") Editors Emeriti: Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince Perriello, Tim Pozar, Sylvia Maxwell, Donald Tees, Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink ------------------------------------------------------ FidoNews is published weekly by and for the members of the FIDONET INTERNATIONAL AMATEUR ELECTRONIC MAIL system. It is a compilation of individual articles contributed by their authors or their authorized agents. The contribution of articles to this compilation does not diminish the rights of the authors. OPINIONS EXPRESSED in these articles ARE THOSE OF THE AUTHORS and not necessarily those of FidoNews and/or the Editor. Authors retain copyright on individual works; otherwise FidoNews is Copyright (C) 1999 Douglas Myers. All rights reserved. Duplication and/or distribution permitted for noncommercial purposes only. 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FIDONEWS 16-45 Page 14 8 Nov 1999 "Disagreement is actually necessary, or we'd all have to get in fights or something to amuse ourselves and create the requisite chaos." -Tom Jennings -----------------------------------------------------------------