Volume 5, Number 11 14 March 1988 +---------------------------------------------------------------+ | _ | | / \ | | /|oo \ | | - FidoNews - (_| /_) | | _`@/_ \ _ | | International | | \ \\ | | FidoNet Association | (*) | \ )) | | Newsletter ______ |__U__| / \// | | / FIDO \ _//|| _\ / | | (________) (_/(_|(____/ | | (jm) | +---------------------------------------------------------------+ Editor in Chief Dale Lovell Editor Emeritus: Thom Henderson Chief Procrastinator Emeritus: Tom Jennings Contributing Editors: Al Arango FidoNews is published weekly by the International FidoNet Association as its official newsletter. You are encouraged to submit articles for publication in FidoNews. Article submission standards are contained in the file ARTSPEC.DOC, available from node 1:1/1. Copyright 1988 by the International FidoNet Association. All rights reserved. Duplication and/or distribution permitted for noncommercial purposes only. For use in other circumstances, please contact IFNA at (314) 576-4067. IFNA may also be contacted at PO Box 41143, St. Louis, MO 63141. The contents of the articles contained here are not our responsibility, nor do we necessarily agree with them. Everything here is subject to debate. We publish EVERYTHING received. Table of Contents 1. ARTICLES ................................................. 1 Some Thoughts on Standards ............................... 1 PC-SIG CD-ROM On-line 24 hrs ............................. 3 GIZLIB....A QUICK BASIC DELIGHT .......................... 5 IDEAS FOR A NEW -AND BETTER- FIDONET ..................... 9 LT-286 A Superb Replacement For An XT Motherboard ........ 11 2. COLUMNS .................................................. 15 Let's YACK about The Programmer's Dictionary ............. 15 3. NOTICES .................................................. 23 The Interrupt Stack ...................................... 23 Latest Software Versions ................................. 23 FidoNews 5-11 Page 1 14 Mar 1988 ================================================================= ARTICLES ================================================================= Thom Henderson, 107/528-520/1015 System Enhancement Associates, Inc. Some Thoughts on Standards If the FTSC ever publishes a standard on how to do echomail, ARCmail, FOSSIL drivers, etc. I'll pay attention, but am I supposed to make a big deal out of any random group that meets at a wide spot in the road? There are at present something like three thousand sysops in FidoNet. Probably three hundred of them either now do, have done, or intend to do network software -- and nobody knows exactly which three hundred. No, we don't really intend to keep all three thousand (or even three hundred) informed of every little change that we may or may not make to every little program, nor do we expect them to keep us informed. In theory, at least, this is why you have a standards committee. We have no objection to providing input to said committee on any technical topic that it may wish to consider, but I don't see how SEA or anyone else is bound to do any more than that. If you let your standards committee do what it was meant to do, then you will reap the benefits. But if you hobble it, thwart it, or forbid it to act, then you will be (are) at the mercy of the natural "market forces" in your network. An excellent current example of this is echomail. None of you will allow your standards committee to establish any standards relating to echomail. Thus you are all at the potential mercy of any developer who comes up with a new wrinkle, twist, or feature that might be in demand, even though it may break your existing systems. An actual example from your past is the whole Yahoo experiment, which broke many systems in the name of perceived features. Fortunately that is behind you now, but many of you have yet to assimilate the lessons of it. I've gotten a few people upset by referring to FidoNet as a "mature technology". Those of you who would dearly love to "play games" with the protocols (like the late, unlamented Yahoo experiment) rail at that designation, but in few (if any) cases have I been allowed to explain. By "mature" I mean that it is no longer solely (or even mainly) a province of the hackers. Few on your network either know or care how the stuff works. All they care about is that it does. And THAT is the true strength of your network, if you would only realized it. A percent or two of performance, or a widget or two that maybe three out of three thousand will use, is of little import compared to the mighty throng to whom your network is a powerful tool for COMMUNICATION. It is for them that Tom Jennings, Randy Bush, Ben Baker, and myself saw the need for a standards committee, because for THEIR FidoNews 5-11 Page 2 14 Mar 1988 needs stability is more important than widgets. ----------------------------------------------------------------- FidoNews 5-11 Page 3 14 Mar 1988 The IEEE Port CD-ROM at 1:107/233 516-757-9469 As of March 16th 1987, the entire PC-SIG 705 disk library of public-domain and shareware programs is on-line at the IEEE Port (1:107/233). This has been done through the sponsorship of the Institute of Electrical and Electronic Engineers (IEEE) which has provided a Philips CM 100 CD-ROM player and the PC-SIG Disks 1-705 CD-ROM. We have established a somewhat convoluted procedure for gaining access to the over 700 directories on the PC-SIG CD-ROM disk. This process is described below and is also readable on- line at The IEEE Port. The files listed below are file requestable 24hrs from 1:107/233. They are the ARCed Tables of Contents of the various disks. Note that because all these files are ARCed you are required to first download each of them to your own disk and unARC them. Once you have done this, you may search for occurrences of any particular string in the Tables of Contents with one of these commands: DFIND "string" FFIND "string" outfile.nam where "string" is the value for which you wish to search. DFIND will display the results directly on the screen, whereas FFIND will write the output of the search to a disk file which you may subsequently search manually with an editor or list program. Index to PC-SIG Disks 1-705 =========================== P001-100.ARC Table Of Contents for disks 1 through 100 P101-200.ARC Table Of Contents for disks 101 through 200 P201-300.ARC Table Of Contents for disks 201 through 300 P301-400.ARC Table Of Contents for disks 301 through 400 P401-500.ARC Table Of Contents for disks 401 through 500 P501-600.ARC Table Of Contents for disks 501 through 600 P601-700.ARC Table Of Contents for disks 601 through 700 P701-705.ARC Table Of Contents for disks 701 through 705 PC-BIBLE.ARC Table Of Contents for The Bible (King James Vers) FIND.ARC Batch commands to search Table of Contents files SEALINK.ARC SEAlink 1.13 Excellent protocol to use for batch downloading. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * PC-SIG LIBRARY - Disk Access Procedure FidoNews 5-11 Page 4 14 Mar 1988 When you log on to the IEEE Port (300/1200/2400) (no pre- registration is required) type "F" from the main menu to get to the files area. The procedure to select which particular disk is started in area 16 by typing "F". You will be given a menu that looks like this: Enter I - To get information on what files and programs are available. D - To get information on addressing a particular disk from the PC-SIG Library and then to select a disk. S - I've seen it all before, let's just select a disk! C - Explain the use of SEAlink protocol for downloading a disk. Q - Quit. I highly recommend option "C" for those who do not use SEAlink in some form or another. It will save you a lot of time and typing. Since you have the instructions here type "S" to select the disk you wish to DL from. You will be prompted to enter the number of the PC-SIG disk you wish to access. Type the numbers as three whole numbers (i.e. to select disk 49 type "049"). You will then be informed that you selection has gone thru and to proceed to files area 99. In order to actually the access the PC-SIG disk that you selected you will have to transfer to file area 99. This area does not appear in the list of areas maintained by OPUS; that's OK, just use the A99 to go there anyway. Area 99 area will be pointing to the PC-SIG disk you select. Before OPUS will let you in to area 99 you must enter the access code "PCSIG". Although you won't be able to use the F(ile List) command here, you will be able to use the R(aw Directory) display to see the names of all the files on the selected disk. You may then download any file(s) as you normally would from any file area, the only difference being that you will be DLing from a subdirectory of the CD-ROM. Usually there is a file named DISK###.TXT on each PC-SIG disk so if you select disk 694, use the T(ype) command to list out DISK694.TXT and get a descriptive file listing of the selected disk. I run SEAdog 4.11 on top of Opus 1.03a on an original IBM XT with 2 ST 225s. A Zoom Short 2400 baud modem (internal) and a Philips CM 100 CD-ROM Player. If you have any questions or suggestions I am reachable at 1:107/233. As DLing disks from the CDROM can be quite expensive over the phone line, I am more than willing to fill any disk that is sent to me with whatever disks you request. Please include return postage. ----------------------------------------------------------------- FidoNews 5-11 Page 5 14 Mar 1988 By Gene Coppola 107/246 Some VERY Exciting things are happening to GLIB and its loyal users! I. What's New The first and most obvious is the size of GLIB 1.4! The library now has 90 routines available for use including COMPLETE mouse and DOS level file control. This is about 50% more than in GLIB 1.31 and puts it on a par with some of the expensive commercial libraries. And, many of the GLIB routines run adequately under OS/2! A. FUNCTIONS in Assembler! This allows you to evaluate a subroutine as an expression or assign the result in fewer lines of code! For example: OLD: CALL exist("foo.bar", ExistFlag) IF ExistFlag THEN .. .. NEW: IF exist("foo.bar") THEN .. .. This lends itself to a number of advantages: code is smaller, more easy to read, makes more sense and so forth. All it requires is a simple DECLARE statement at the start of your code. Even this is made simple with the GLIB14.INC file you should have. B. DOS Level File Functions: GLIB 1.4 now supports complete file access via DOS Functions. In so doing, you can completely avoid those annoying runtime errors by letting DOS return you an error code, rather than an error! C. Mouse support. We now have a considerable number of routines added for mouse support, including cursor control, mouse work area restrictions, mouse sensitivity (Mickey Factor). These have been tested on the new Micro-soft (dove bar) mouse, the Logitech mouse and the Mouse Systems mouse. All seem to work fine except the Mouse Systems seemed to need a explicit call to set the cursor mask, so we have one which is called MSETCSR. D. OVER FORTY new routines !!! DAYOFYR - Gets current day of the year (1- 366). DLIGHT - Trigger a floppy disk light on. FCOPY - Copy a file, as quickly as DOS. FCREAT - Create a new file, returning a File handle. FidoNews 5-11 Page 6 14 Mar 1988 FEOF - Set file pointer to the end of a file. FOPEN - Open a disk file, getting a DOS file handle. FUNIQ - Create a unique/temporary file. FWRITE - Write a string to a file opened with a DOS handle. GETCH - Allow input from predefined string. GET/SET FATTR - Get, set or reset file attributes. GET/SET DRV - Get or set the default drive. INCR / DECR - Replicate 2 TURBO BASIC functions INSON/INSOFF - Toggle insert state on or off KBLOOP - Old routine with syntax change. LASTDRV - Return last logical drive on the system LCOUNT - Count the number of lines in a file QUICKLY. LNAMEF - Swap names to last-name-firstformat. MCSRINC/MCSRDEC - Decrement mouse cursor flag MCSRON/MCSROFF - Mouse cursor on or off. MGETXY - Get mouse cursor location MLONG /MNORM - Set / reset mouse Mickey Factor. MPRESS - Get number of mouse button presses. MRELEASE - Get number of mouse button releases. MSETXY - Set mouse cursor location MSETXRNG / MSETYRNG: Define/limit mouse work area. MTYPE - Test for mouse existence. PGETCH - GETCH with cenetered prompt. RINSTR - Returns LAST position of a char in a string READSCRN - Quickly read a string from the CRT at current location SYSTIME - Return system time as integers. TFRMAT - Old routine with slight syntax change VFNAME - Test to see if it is a valid filename. VIDOFF - Turn CRT off. VIDON - Turn CRT back on. These are just the NEW routines listed above! E. Top QB Libraries Team Up Commercially!!! An agreement has been reached between Roy Barrows of Project X Development Group and myself to merge our two respective QuickBASIC libraries and market them under PROJECT X's QBTOOLS/2.1. By adding about 80% of the routines in GLIB (the balance being duplicates) to QBTOOLS/2 as well as an additional 14 or 15 I wrote up just for the occasion, the number of callable routines in QBTOOLS/2.1 soars to over 220! This is not a decision I made lightly. There were once 4 BBS distributed QB add on libraries and this is the last to move to the commercial arena. After very careful examination, it became clear that QBTOOLS and Roy ARE the type of product and person that I have no compunction about becoming associated with. QBTOOLS is quite genuinely innovative and Roy is a gifted programmer, one look at OSG (Screen Code Generator) will confirm that! FidoNews 5-11 Page 7 14 Mar 1988 With over 220 routines, at $69.95, QBTOOLS is undoubtedly the best value for the dollar in after market add on libraries at only .36c per routine! But money is not the only factor, because with QBTOOLS you get 220 WORKING routines. Not only that, but you get a couple of the most innovative QB developers utilities including OSG, the Object Code Screen Generator, a source code formatter and a library manager. GLIB release 1.40, to be released Saturday Feb 6, 1988 will be the final BBS type release of GLIB. About 70 of the 90 routines including the FieldEditor, have already been ported to QBTOOLS/2.1 and I will continue to develop routines for the QBTOOLS/2.1 library. The only conversion involved is to rename the routines into longer more descriptive names characteristic of the QBTOOLS/2.1 library. This means GLIB users who pick up QBTOOLS/2.1 will suffer a minimum of upgrade shock and still benefit from the many, many more routines available in QBTOOLS/2.1. We will also be including an ALIAS file so that longtime users of GLIB can use QBTOOLS with the new/long names or the old/short names. While there will be no further releases of InfoSoft's GLIB or DLIB, USERS who register their copy will be eligible for a 50% discount on QBTOOLS/2. This offer is good only on the 2.xx releases of QBTOOLS since GLIB could remain on BBS everywhere forever. We reserve the right to alter, modify, extend or revoke this offer upon the release of version 3.0. So, once you get QBTOOLS at $39.95, your cost plummets to a paltry .18c per routine. But, you don't get the discount by reading this but by registering your copy of GLIB 1.4. PLEASE! o DO NOT attempt to register GLIB with PROJECT X, use the mailer enclosed to register GLIB, and your name will be forwarded. o If you do NOT register GLIB, you do NOT get the special 50% discount on QBTOOLS. o DO NOT call Project X for GLIB support. I support GLIB via The Information Booth at 316 684 8744. After Feb 10, 1988 I will also be in a position to support or answer questions on QBTOOLS. Finally, I want to thank my beta testers Harry Hodson Gene Coppola and Don Hawkinson for allowing themselves and their machines to become guinea pigs at times. FidoNews 5-11 Page 8 14 Mar 1988 Thank you for your support, Gizmo Mike The Information Booth 316 684 8744 GLIB14.ARC is available on 107/246 for F/R or download. ----------------------------------------------------------------- FidoNews 5-11 Page 9 14 Mar 1988 Pablo Kleinman Node 368/101 IDEAS FOR A NEW -AND BETTER- FIDONET (Let's make some changes...) Time goes by and the FidoNet grows faster every day. I don't think that, when creating the Fido Bulletin Board System, Tom Jennings knew he was starting something this big. I have read lately some articles, where sysops express their disagreement regarding the way things are going right now, specially with IFNA. Some sysops chose to form another, parallel net (like Ryugen Fisher, for example), some others just expressed their disappointment. Thru this article, I want to give you my opinion, and to present you a new idea, a new idea that also contains new concepts. I think something MUST BE DONE, before it is "too late". The FidoNet nodelist has already 3000+ members, in all the 5 continents of the world, in about 30 countries. FidoNet has become a totally INTERNATIONAL network, rather than an "American one with some nodes overseas". THE NEW IDEA I WANT TO PROPOSE IS THE FOLLOWING: One "FidoNet Association" is created for each of the 4 zones (I'm assuming that Latin America will be Zone 4). These associations may vary in their internal organization, since each zone's requirements and neccesities are very different. When they are finally established, each designates 3 members to take part on the International FidoNet Council, that is finally formed by those 12 representatives of the 4 zones. Each zone has the right to have the Presidency of the Council for 6 months a year (each has the right to preside over the council once every two years). The Council's President must be one of the 4 representatives sent by the zone who designates him/her, and has the right to vote twice when there is a tied vote. The International Council is in charge of various things, like designating the International Technical Coordinator, setting the technical standards (either directly or by naming a "technical committee"), publishing the Net's official newsletter, and establishing the Net's basic international rules. Comprehensive rules are established by each zone's association. The International Council also acts as a "supreme tribunal" for interzonal disputes. Any disputes within a zone are to be arbitrated by the zone's association. The Zonal FidoNet Associations are to be TRANSPARENTLY DEMOCRATIC, which ensures the democratic qualities of the International FidoNet Council, as well as of the net itself. The Zonal Associations have the right to name the coordinators for all the networks, regions as well as the zone's. I HOPE YOU'LL HELP SHAPE THIS IDEA: FidoNews 5-11 Page 10 14 Mar 1988 I personally think this concept still needs to be shaped up. The "main idea" puts a special emphasis in democracy, as well as on each sysops' right to determine their coordinators, authorities and delegates to the main International Council. I would like everybody to participate in the development of this new idea, to ensure it's representability of all the sysop's wishes. Please, send mail to node 368/101 (soon-to-be 800/1) with your opinions. If FidoNet's and IFNA's current authorities consider this idea feasible, an echomail conference could be created to ensure everybody's participation on the development of this new idea. Thank you for taking the time to read this article, and thanks to IFNA for maintaining a publication where everyone can express oneself freely. Pablo Kleinman (368/101) Buenos Aires, Argentina ----------------------------------------------------------------- FidoNews 5-11 Page 11 14 Mar 1988 Recently I saw an ad for an LT-286 replacement XT motherboard. The price was so low, ($249) that I just had to order one. I expected to receive a real piece of garbage, but since it comes with a 30 day money back warranty, I felt I had nothing to lose. The LT-286 is also covered by a 2 year warranty as well. What I received was a nice surprise. The motherboard came packed securely in anti-static plastic, packed with peanuts in a heavy shipping container designed to hold the motherboard, the manual, and additional memory or co-processor chips. Upon examination, I found a well designed circuit board with no last minute jumpers soldered in. The memory chip sockets are placed as far as possible from the 80286 chip to avoid heat problems. This board has been designed to replace the motherboard in an XT or clone, and has several features not seen in any other replacement board. The following VLSI components and subsystems are on the motherboard as received and tested. 1) Intel 80286 microprocessor. 2) Intel 82284 8Mhz clock generator. 3) Intel 80287 co-processor (optional). 4) Intel 8237-5 4 channel DMA controller. 5) Intel 8255A-5 parallel interface. 6) Intel 8253-5 timer. 7) Intel 8259A interrupt controller. A) 32k of Read Only Memory, optional to 64k. B) One Megabyte of high speed, parity checked RAM. C) High performance NO WAIT STATE bus controller. D) 16 bit system bus to XT IO bus interface. My only complaint with the design is the placement of the 80287 chip socket. You will need to remove the motherboard to install the 80287 chip at a later date. Unlike an XT motherboard, this board has multiple data buses. This is the key to understanding the astounding speed this board produces. The LT-286 incorporates several distinct data buses. A) A fast 16-bit bus for the 80286 CPU and 80287 chip. B) A fast 16-bit system bus for onboard RAM and EPROM. C) A moderately fast 8-bit bus for onboard I/O. D) A slow 8-bit expansion bus for offboard I/O. The onboard RAM and I/O devices are clocked at the full 80286 speed using the 16 bit bus. The expansion bus interface is clocked at a slower 4.77 Mhz rate. This FidoNews 5-11 Page 12 14 Mar 1988 zero wait state system runs many times faster than its clock speed might suggest to the casual observer who naively compares computers by their clock speed. My old board (a dual speed NEC V20) was only able to accomplish at best a 1.7 on Norton's SI while the LT-286 registers a 7.7 using the same test. Using the new Landmark Speed Test the LT-286 registers an 8.8 reflecting the extra speed due to zero wait state operation. The second reason the LT-286 is so fast is the fact that it incorporates a built in disk cache system. When the motherboard is fully populated with 1 Megabyte of RAM the excess RAM above 640k is used for the disk cache. This is a true read/write cache. The only disadvantage to this feature is that it takes 8k of main memory. The cache can be turned off by changing jumpers on the motherboard or by software methods. The BIOS is dated September 7, 1987 and displays a Copyright by Wave Mate. It is nice to have a recent BIOS for a change. It shows that the designers of the LT-286 are regularly updating their product. Before installing the LT-286 make sure you back up any hard disks you have installed. Some controllers are very sensitive to CPU timing and will require you to format again, after you install the LT-286. Don't take this statement the wrong way! After I installed the board and did a complete format I had no problems with the hard disk or the controller. Installing the mother board took me about 15 minutes, and it should not take you much longer. The longest time was spent transferring the RAM chips from my old board. The chips sockets on the LT-286 are well designed, but it takes considerable effort to insert the RAM chips. These sockets certainly will never allow a chip to jar loose, and are probably also used in the TEMPEST grade system the designers produce. The new motherboard was an EXACT fit, and installed with no problem what so ever, even though it went into a clone and not a pure IBM XT. A complete printed manual was included, with an updated supplement, but there were no instructions included for do-it-yourself installation. All the connectors were where they belonged and if you inspect the connections BEFORE you remove your board you should be able to replace it with no problems. Since the LT-286 comes with a 30 day money back warranty and I FidoNews 5-11 Page 13 14 Mar 1988 run a multi-user bulletin board, the best way to burn in this board was to run the BBS on it. So I set up the BBS and let it run. I have had no problems to date, and the board runs cool and performs well. I have had no problem with any software I own. I tested the LT-286 with all the standards, including Lotus 123, dBase III+, Paradox, Professional Write, and Wordstar. Even heavily protected software like PC-TECHNICIAN ran with no problems. Due to the fast speed some protected software might not run. However since all the major software packages are no longer protected, this should not present a problem. Just to check I installed Lotus from my master disks with no problems. dBase III+ also installed with no problems. Vault and Prolock protected software installed with no problems I could see. Customer support is of primary concern, especially to someone who might not be comfortable with installing a new motherboard. I made up several interesting problems and called for technical support. In each case the technician was able to diagnose the problem and supply the correct answer. Each technician was knowledgeable and did not try and rush me off the phone. They spent as much time as was needed to work through each problem. The LT-286 is a fine product with a good design and good technical support. I recommend this to anyone who wants to upgrade their PC or XT to a 286 machine. In this version their are eight expansion slots which are 8-bit slots. This allows you to keep your old expansion boards and use them with the LT-286. My Intel Above Board, which is notorious for not working with high speed systems works quite well. The bus design on the LT-286 was designed to allow 8-bit expansion cards to perform just like they were still in an 8088 system. The LT-286 is really the baby in a fine line of new products. Several other motherboards are also available with both 8-bit and 16-bit buses, with clock speeds from 7.2 to 12.5 Mhz. I would love to be able to test their top of the line 16-bit 12.5 Mhz motherboard in my system. CTXT Systems, Incorporated founded in 1985, is the originator of the Lateral Technology Concept, an engineering philosophy based on technological hybrid optimization. First manifested in the Lateral Technology line of motherboards and desktop computer units, the ultimate expression of Lateral Technology arrived in 1987 with their magnificent LTP-7 portable computer, FidoNews 5-11 Page 14 14 Mar 1988 incorporating many industry firsts in a unique package: a 14 inch diagonal 720x350 resolution gas plasma screen; three half-height storage devices (up to 160Mb internal hard disk drives available); seven full length expansion slots in an Angular-Bus design (patent pending); full size 84-key keyboard; a dozen brand new electronic features, all in a 15"x17"x7 1/2" format weighing only 26 pounds thanks to the LTP-7's all TITANIUM chassis. CTXT Systems Incorporated is located at 9205 E. Alabama Avenue in Chatsworth, California. Their phone number is (818)-341-4227. Their FAX number is (818)-709-6907. If you call for information or to place an order please ask for Susan Selbrede, and please mention this article in FidoNews as your source of information about CTXT Systems. Susan is a very polite, well informed person who will be glad to help you with any questions you might have, or to take your order. ----------------------------------------------------------------- FidoNews 5-11 Page 15 14 Mar 1988 ================================================================= COLUMNS ================================================================= YACK Yet Another Complicated Komment by Steven K. Hoskin ( STEVE HOSKIN at 1:128/11 ) Episode 3: The Programmer's Dictionary The orginal version of this that I ever saw was in a photocopied article from a magazine of some kind. I therefore have no clue as to whom I should be giving credit for the initial conception of this collection of fundies, but over the years my friends and I have added to this, and this is one of the later versions of... The Programmer's Dictionary --------------------------- Algorithm - New type of musical beat, known best for being hard to dance to. Analyst - The person who always has an answer. See also, Son/Daughter. Argument - Unpleasant encounter with the instructor after mid- terms. Array - That which comes out of Buck Roger's gun. Assumed Decimal Point - Located two postions to the right of a programmer's current salary in estimating his own worth. BASIC - 1. Adjective used to describe programs to give to rookies. 2. Programming language once erroneously thought to be user-friendly. Backup - Action taken by a programmer when an accident is about to happen in front of his/her car. Batch - A small complaint. Binary - A program missing two program statements. Bit - The increment by which programmers slowly go mad. Board - Most common mental state of most programmers. Bucket - An item on a table that catches spare data. Bug - A small German car that runs rampid in your program. FidoNews 5-11 Page 16 14 Mar 1988 Bus - As in Greyhound or PDP, upon which all data commute to work. Byte - 1. What computer science students do to their pencils. 2. An action that programmers teach their dogs to do to operators. C - A lie commonly told by novice programmers; "I see..." COBOL - Fraternity/Sorority mix party. CRT - An adjective that describes the way programmers talk to operators, i.e., "Why are you so curt to me?" Cable - Pay television for programmers and printers. Card Punch - Machine known in this day and age for making good note cards to write memos on. Card Reader - Woman who tells fortunes. Chaining - A method of attaching programmers to desks to speed up output. Checkpoint - The location from which a programmer draws his salary. Close - Description of the constant state of operator's minds. Comments - See Fixed Word Length. Common Language - The first thing a programmer must forget in order to be successful. Comp Sci Instructor - See also, God. Compiler - Program that continuously finds fault with your work. See also, Wife/Husband. Complex - Adjective used to describe problems to be avoided. Computer - Scientific Phenomenon; it is probably the only thing in this world that can understand a programmer. Computer Bank - Where your computer stores the money it embezzles when your accounting program has a "bug" in it. Concantonation - Catholic ritual performed once a year to bless programmers. Copyright - 1. A hacker's self-invested authority to duplicate any software package on the market. 2. Knowledge that such duplication has been performed properly Core Storage - A receptacle for the center section of apples. FidoNews 5-11 Page 17 14 Mar 1988 Counter - A device over which martinis are served. Cursor - Someone who Batches a lot. DATA DIVISION - Keypunch section. DIVISION - Partitions between offices. Data Base - Phrase commonly heard by the first base coach of a softball team made up entirely of programmers. Debugging Aids - 1. Insecticides. 2. Computer Science instructors. Decision Gate - What programmers use to choose which computer language they will use. Device Driver - Licensed vehicle operator. Digitizer - Machine that reduces physical objects to computer memory, just like in the movie TRON. Directory - Listing showing where everyone works. See also, Dump List. Disk - Toy used by programmers with nothing better to do. See also, Board, Frisbee. Disk Management - Sensible care of one's back. Disk Pack - The result of lifting too much weight over your head. Dummy Arguments - Discussions between operators. Dump - Slang term for the computer building (i.e., Why do I spend so much time in this Dump?) Dump List - List of office branches in the computer building. ENVIRONMENT DIVISION - The people that scan your office for fire hazards and unhealthy deposits of smoke. Error - What someone else has made when he disagrees with your computer output. Execution - Punishment for programmers who do not follow the Standards Manual. See also, Network. External Storage - Wastebasket. FORTRAN - Model train set up on the floor, usually HO scale. Fixed Word Length - Four-letter words used by programmers in a state of confusion. Flippy Disk - Side two of an LP record. FidoNews 5-11 Page 18 14 Mar 1988 Floating Control - A characteristic exhibited when you have to go to the restroom but can't leave the computer. Floating Point - The absolute limit before floating control is lost. Floppy Disk - The result of driving a Floppy Drive. Floppy Drive - A car with a flat tire. Flow Chart - A graphic representation of the fastest route to the restroom. Format - What you wipe your feet on before entering the computer building. Free - Obsolete expression. Function - What a program never does on the first run, seldom does on subsequent runs, and when it finally does, is a good indication that the program is obsolete. Function Key - Tool required to make a program work. Commonly hidden in Bugs. GOSUB - Polite way for programmers to tell operators where to go. See also, Go To. Gigabyte - The little laugh that comes out of an operator's mouth when he/she bites his/her tongue. Global Variable - Internationally known Variable, such as Anita Bryant. See also, Variable. Go To - Often used in conjunction with Biblical locations. See also, fixed word length. Hacker - Someone who coughs a lot. Hard Disk - The result of much muscle-building work on one's back. Hard Drive - A car with solid rubber wheels. Hardware - Something that, if you play with it long enough, it breaks. See also, Software. Head Crash - Last step before a computer Go To, usually executed by a programmer crashing his head against the nearest wall. Head Thrashing - What programmers do when upset at operators. See also, Head Crash. Hexadecimal - High resolution trick, using a six-sided dot for a decimal point. FidoNews 5-11 Page 19 14 Mar 1988 Hierarchy - Chain of command. High Memory - State of mind a programmer is in when his/her program finally works properly. See also, Function. High Order Language - See Fixed Word Length. IC - Lie commonly uttered by Computer Science students. IDENTIFICATION DIVISION - The security guards for your company's parking lot. Infinite Loop - See Loop. Initialize - First visual input devices appearing on infant programs. Input - Food, whiskey, beer, aspirin, etc. Interrupt - Usually the result of a Keypunch. See also, Head Crash. Jump - 1. Dangerous move commonly made by programmers to get to conclusions easier. 2. Something programmers do when a program works. See also, High Memory Jumper - 1. Programmer with a working program. 2. Suit worn by female programmers. Keyboard - A random series of keystrokes, usually either "asdf" or "l;kj", used when programmers are bored. Keypunch - Error solving technique used by many programmers, consisting of applying his fist to the teletype terminal. Laser Printer - Machine dedicated to producing blueprints for new and better Lasers. Last Pointer - Used by the Computer Science Instructor as deterence. See also, Next Pointer. Light Pen - A pen commonly used by programmers because it is easier to use, due to its reduced weight. Line Printer - Machine that prints lines on blank paper. Also known as Paper Shredder. Local Variable - Closet Variable. See also, Variable. Logical Operator - Extinct Species. Logo - The way a survivalist programmer goes past a window when someone is shooting at him through it. Logorithm - Old kind of musical beat, best known for its lack of motion. FidoNews 5-11 Page 20 14 Mar 1988 Loop - See Infinite Loop. Low Memory - 1. The characteristic a calculator exhibits when the battery is out of energy. 2. Adjectival phrase describing most programmer's ability to remember. Machine Language - Grunts, groans, squeaks, shudders, etc. Macro - The last half of an expression of surprise; "Holy Macrol". Mag Tape - New scientific metallic adhesive strip that can be applied to the hubcaps of your car to make them look "cool". Mainframe - The portion of a film used to focus the projector. Mass Bus - A very large bus, sometimes a GMC motor coach. See also, Bus. Memory Dump - Amnesia. Memory Extension Board - Review of a programmer's ability to remember. Mouse - Small creature that leaves tracks on a screen. Network - Punishment for programmers who do not write efficient code, where they are sent out to tie terminals together as hard labor. Next Pointer - The pointer designated by the Comp Sci instructor to be used when the Current Pointer breaks. See also, Pointer, Pointer Stack. Open - Description of the constant state of operator's mouths. Operator - The person who always rips your program in half when removing it from the line printer. See also, Inefficient. Output - See Floating Control. Overflow - That condition resulting from exceeding the Floating Point. Owner - The person who tells you when you can and cannot use the computer. PASCAL - Frantic shout by quarterback when throwing the football to an unaware reciever. PINBOL - Most widely used language. Terminals often found in pool halls. PROCEDURE DIVISION - The office that tries to tell you how to do your job. See also, Wife, Husband. FidoNews 5-11 Page 21 14 Mar 1988 Pointer - Used by computer science instructors to encourage students to behave. Pointer Stack - Arsenal. See also, Pointer. Post Mortem Dump - Place for dead programmers. See also, Dump. Programmer - Red-eyed mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. RAM - 1. A mountain animal. 2. Usual speed at which a headcrash is performed. RETURN - 1. What some programmers never do when they "lose" it. 2. What some programs never do when they "Go West". RPG II - Artoo's little cousin. Run - Ritual feared greatly by programmers. Runaway Subscript - Delinquint member of your program's family. SNOBOL - What programmers throw at operators in the winter time. Scope - 1. Thing programmers do to a new dump (See Dump). 2. Mouthwash for operators. Screen - Used in futile by programmers to try and keep bugs out of their programs. Significant Digit - Middle finger of either hand, commonly used by programmers while talking to operators. Sin - Not attending Concantonation services. Software - Something where, if you play with it long enough, it works. See also, Hardware. Software Piracy - The act of stealing a programmer's bed. Squash Routine - Pre-planned execution of agile moves in an old British game. Stack - Favourite part on a female computer for male programmers. Standards Book - Instructions for driving stick-shift cars. String - Used to tie data together. Structured Programming - Contradiction of terms. TROFF - What pigs eat out of. TRON - What your mother or wife says when she's found a new suit for you, "Here's something I want you to TRON." FidoNews 5-11 Page 22 14 Mar 1988 TURBO PASCAL - New and powerful car, requiring a special diskette in order to legally drive it. Commonly seen breaking speed limits when traversing Mass Buses. Tape - Sometimes used to chain programmers. Tape Drive - Best known for its ability to have lunch in the middle of reading the only copy of a source tape. Terminal - Status of most programmers, especially after the user sees the programs he/she has written. Text Editor - Employee of a local newspaper. Top-Down Structure - Impressive accidental coincidence when found. See also, Structured Programming. Trapezoidal Rule - Country ruled completely by trapezoids. Underflow - Symptom of an impotent programmer. User - The person who never seems to be able to tell you what he/she wants from the computer. User-Friendly - Synonym for anti-programmer. Variable - Bi-sexual programmer. Vector - The first name of the lowest part of your operating system's memory. Voice Synthesizer - Device used by programmers to communicate with human beings. WATFOR - Statement frequently uttered by computer science students. WRITE Statement - Opposite of Wrong Statement. Word Processor - Machine that makes food out of old computer listings. ----------------------------------------------------------------- FidoNews 5-11 Page 23 14 Mar 1988 ================================================================= NOTICES ================================================================= The Interrupt Stack 16 May 1988 Digital Equipment Corporations Users Society Spring Symposium. Will be held May 16-May 20 in Cincinnati, OH. 16 Jul 1988 A new areacode, 508, will form in eastern Massachusetts and will be effective on this date. The new area code will be formed from the current areacode 617. Greater Boston will remain areacode 617 while the rest of eastern Massachusetts will form the new areacode 508. 25 Aug 1988 Start of the Fifth International FidoNet Conference, to be held at the Drawbridge Inn in Cincinnati, OH. Contact Tim Sullivan at 108/62 for more information. This is FidoNet's big annual get-together, and is your chance to meet all the people you've been talking with all this time. We're hoping to see you there! 24 Aug 1989 Voyager 2 passes Neptune. If you have something which you would like to see on this calendar, please send a message to FidoNet node 1:1/1. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Latest Software Versions BBS Systems Node List Other & Mailers Version Utilities Version Utilities Version Dutchie 2.80 EditNL 3.3 ARC 5.21 Fido 12e* MakeNL 1.10 ARCmail 1.1 Opus 1.03b Prune 1.40 ConfMail 3.31* SEAdog 4.10 XlatList 2.86* EchoMail 1.31 TBBS 2.0M MGM 1.1 BinkleyTerm 1.40* QuickBBS 1.02 * Recently changed Utility authors: Please help keep this list up to date by reporting new versions to 1:1/1. It is not our intent to list all utilities here, only those which verge on necessity. ----------------------------------------------------------------- FidoNews 5-11 Page 24 14 Mar 1988 __ The World's First / \ BBS Network /|oo \ * FidoNet * (_| /_) _`@/_ \ _ | | \ \\ | (*) | \ )) ______ |__U__| / \// / Fido \ _//|| _\ / (________) (_/(_|(____/ (tm) Membership for the International FidoNet Association Membership in IFNA is open to any individual or organization that pays a specified annual membership fee. IFNA serves the international FidoNet-compatible electronic mail community to increase worldwide communications. Member Name _______________________________ Date _______________ Address _________________________________________________________ City ____________________________________________________________ State ________________________________ Zip _____________________ Country _________________________________________________________ Home Phone (Voice) ______________________________________________ Work Phone (Voice) ______________________________________________ Zone:Net/Node Number ____________________________________________ BBS Name ________________________________________________________ BBS Phone Number ________________________________________________ Baud Rates Supported ____________________________________________ Board Restrictions ______________________________________________ Your Special Interests __________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ In what areas would you be willing to help in FidoNet? __________ _________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________ Send this membership form and a check or money order for $25 in US Funds to: International FidoNet Association c/o Leonard Mednick, MBA, CPA 700 Bishop Street, #1014 Honolulu, Hawaii 96813-4112 USA Thank you for your membership! Your participation will help to insure the future of FidoNet. Please NOTE that IFNA is a general not-for-profit organization and Articles of Association and By-Laws were adopted by the membership in January 1987. The first elected Board of Directors was filled in August 1987. The IFNA Echomail Conference has been established on FidoNet to assist the Board. We welcome your input to this Conference. ----------------------------------------------------------------- FidoNews 5-11 Page 25 14 Mar 1988 INTERNATIONAL FIDONET ASSOCIATION ORDER FORM Publications The IFNA publications can be obtained by downloading from Fido 1:1/10 or other FidoNet compatible systems, or by purchasing them directly from IFNA. We ask that all our IFNA Committee Chairmen provide us with the latest versions of each publication, but we can make no written guarantees. Hardcopy prices as of October 1, 1986 IFNA Fido BBS listing $15.00 _____ IFNA Administrative Policy DOCs $10.00 _____ IFNA FidoNet Standards Committee DOCs $10.00 _____ SUBTOTAL _____ IFNA Member ONLY Special Offers System Enhancement Associates SEAdog $60.00 _____ SEAdog price as of March 1, 1987 ONLY 1 copy SEAdog per IFNA Member Fido Software's Fido/FidoNet $100.00 _____ Fido/FidoNet price as of November 1, 1987 ONLY 1 copy Fido/FidoNet per IFNA Member International orders include $10.00 for surface shipping or $20.00 for air shipping _____ SUBTOTAL _____ HI. Residents add 4.0 % Sales tax _____ TOTAL _____ SEND CHECK OR MONEY ORDER IN US FUNDS: International FidoNet Association c/o Leonard Mednick, MBA, CPA 700 Bishop Street, #1014 Honolulu, HI. 96813-4112 USA Name________________________________ Zone:Net/Node____:____/____ Company_____________________________ Address_____________________________ City____________________ State____________ Zip_____ Voice Phone_________________________ Signature___________________________ -----------------------------------------------------------------