
     ڿ     ڿڿ         ڿ
   Ŀ    ڿĿ
   Ŀ   ٳٳ                  NO
      ٳ Ŀ  Ŀ
       ڿ ſ    ڿ 
        ſĿ          I Don't Need To!
       

 VOL. WUN, ISSUE TUE                                  April 1995
 
don't need to what it doesn't matter no i don't need to no i don'

Ŀ
***************************************************************
*                    MEMBERS AND CONTRIBUTORS:                *
*                                                             *
*                DeRaNgEd:  Suck me, I'm Deranged!            *
*             Black Sunshine:  Lick me, I'm Blonde!           *
*              Anacodia:  Buy me a beer, I'm Irish!           *
*                  Raven:  Fuck me, I'm Indian!               *
*           Violetta Kitten:  French me, I'm Portuguese!      *
*                                                             *
***************************************************************
;
                  *******************************
                  It's like KeTCHuP with a kick 
                  *******************************
     ķ
                           DISCLAIMER                      
                                                           
      Here's your warning.  Your sense of humor must be at 
       or beyond a certain level before you read this.  You 
      must not be offended easily.   You must want to have 
      fun.  You  must  have  an  open mind.  You  must  be 
      willing and prepared  for  us  to make fun  of  your 
      handle, and make up stupid rhymes about it.  This is 
      not going to be like anything else you've ever  seen 
      before-- and we like it that way. We distribute this 
      on the basis of the freedom of press and the freedom 
      of speech, blah blah blah.  Oh yeah, and those under 
      17 are not admitted without an adult.. SIKE!         
     Ľ
                        All material @ 1995



                              Ingredients

     i.  THE VOICE OF REASON
         ...editorial comments
    ii.  HELLO I LOVE YOU
         ...greetings  and  salutations /  news / rumors /
         announcements
   iii.  TRUTH OR DARE
         ...we respond  to  your  questions  and  comments
    iv.  "WHEN THE FUN IN MODEMING GOES, SO DO I"
         ...so you think you know YAUN-Ti, huh
     v.  WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
         ...quiz yourself-this issue: modem lies uncovered
    vi.  SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED
         ...top ten list-this issue:  the Pyroman ensemble
   vii.  ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND ROCK
         ...life  and  love according to popular musicians
  viii.  WORD PLAY
         ...we  desecrate  song  lyrics,  your names, your
         handles and anything else we can think of
    ix.  TRUTH
         ...part one of  the columns- this issue headed by
         Raven
     x.  DESIRE
         ...part  two  of the columns-this issue headed by
         Violetta Kitten
    xi.  KARMA
         ...part three of the columns-this issue headed by
         DeRaNgEd
   xii.  EXPERIENCE
         ...part four of the columns- this issue headed by
         Black Sunshine
  xiii.  BRAWN
         ...part five of the columns- this issue headed by
         Anacodia
   xiv.  SWEET LITTLE SECRETS
         ...last  month's  poll   results/  new  questions
    xv.  I WANT TO F#?! YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL
         ...what REALLY goes on in on-line hot chat..LIVE!
   xvi.  THE RANDOMNESS OF THOUGHT
         ...poetry   /  moods  /  ramblings  /  creativity
  xvii.  DEAR RAVEN
         ...Raven    answers    your    personal   letters
 xviii.  AND THAT'S FINAL
         ...month in review /coming attractions /good-byes


 
     "Salt N Pepa said 'shoop,'  now  my girl done cut loose.
      One down, too many more to go..."
                            --Sir Mix-A-Lot, SLEEPIN' WIT MY FONK
 


                            The Voice of Reason
               (life is hard so strike a pose on a cadillac)


     Guess what... Issue Tue is out!  What??  You already knew
     that?  Damn, so much for the element of surprise.   Well,
     Issue Wun hit harder than I thought it would.    With one
     issue, we acquired a bigger fan club that I  ever thought
     possible.  People I never heard of previously were coming
     up to me to say, "Hey, that was fucking awesome.. when is
     the next one coming out?"   Of  course our dear  brothers
     felt they had to pick on the little sisters a  little bit
     but   nothing  is  worth  doing  if  you can't  take  the
     criticism.  Hell, I think that is the only way to go; you
     learn by what others say is  right  or  wrong  with you..
     whether they are right or wrong, there is still something
     to be ganied by it,
         In the past month,  we  have also put up our own board
     (yes, women can be SysOps, too).    My personal thanks  to
     False God, Buster Friendly and Orion Pax and everyone else
     along the way. [Of course there are more formal thank-yous
     in the appropriate section.
          So   anyway,  I  just  want  to  say  thanks  for the
     inspiration, thanks for the criticism, thanks for  reading
     this.  Without you, we are nothing.
                                        --DeRaNgEd!!


     I am still  recovering  from  the  overwhelmingly positive
     response to ISSUE WUN.   Our mission was to make you  feel
     and think and laugh, and it has been successful a  hundred
     times over than what we expected.
         I cannot adequately describe  my  pleasure  at  having
     reached so many of you.  I think that I can speak for more
     than myself here when I say that... it is  much  more than
     having people compliment you on what you have accomplished
     so far; it's also the  satisfaction  of  having  expressed
     yourself in a way that has affected someone else.
          I understand there are still a  few  people  who have
     not figured out yet what this e-mag is all about.  No it's
     not just something we do because we are bored. :)   We all
     have jobs or college or both.  Our  aims  are  both  to be
     creative  and  to  write  what we feel strongly about.  We
     want to celebrate and curse the lives we live by   turning
     everything into a satire.  All the members of TDKEB write.
     Some have been published in local, college, state and even
     national publications, as  well  as other electronic mags.
     Does this make us more qualified than anyone else  to  sit
     around and talk about life?  Nope.   Anyone with the drive
     and the desire to expand on ideas can do it.  We have! The
     fact that we already write just makes it a  little  easier
     and possibly more promising.
          Go into this with an  open  mind.   Don't  let  blind
     prejudice or ignorance keep you from understanding! I want
     to  thank  every  single person who took the time to read,
     comment  and spread ISSUE WUN.  Within one issue along, we
     reached  over  a  hundred and twenty-five people.  That is
     amazing.  Those who support us are the ones who caught our
     true selves and let us spread our reflections to  you, and
     therefore, become part of you  in  a  way.  As this grows,
     we only hope to get better.  If  you have ideas, send them
     to one of us. Everything we do is both for you and for us.
     Notice this issue is bigger and  has  more  columns.   The
     ideas never stop coming.   Read "Hello I Love You" for the
     updates on everything with TDKEB and to see us go down  on
     our knees and express gratitude to certain someones.
          Have fun.  I hope you like this issue as  much as you
     did the first one.
                                     --Black Sunshine

     P.S.  Yes, I skipped several  opportunities  here  to make
     innuendoes.  I  wanted  to  get  my  POINT  across.   And,
     resisting was HARD to do but boy, don't I feel better now!


 
     "Twenty-three positions in a one-night stand."
                              --Prince, GETT OFF
 


                             Hello I Love You
                  (and you didn't even kiss me good-bye)


                          WE WANT TO SAY HIGH TO:
                    and not necessarily in this order..


          Tortuga:  Wine me, Dine me, 69 me!
     Rivas J'Kara:  If you've got the candle wax...?
           Nimrod:  Please sign us up for the Erotica free
                    clinic.
              Hcp:  You put your weed in it!
           Mishia:  We think you and your "friend" Mud Horney are
                    *REALLY* stupid.
        Gatoperro:  What's up with that mess?
         Kangaroo:  Starbucks.. NOW!
          Pyroman:  Arizona.. Anyone?
          YAUN-Ti:  Do you like naked babies?
        Maelstrom:  Freaking hello you Daddy Mac & Cheese
  Big-D Bongwater:  Pee Pee
           Pacman:  Please don't fuck up this edition so I have
                    to send it to you twice.
       Timeshadow:  um..ok.  Thanks for the ITN accounts.  Now
                    shut up and get to work! :)
              LDS:  Where's my slurpie?
            Srbin:  Get out of Tele-arena for once.
        Zandramas:  We should go into the ribbon business. We'd
                    make a fortune!
     False Muppet:  You are really cool.  We are very impressed
                    with you.
            Marlo:  Hey get a life, quit cheating in trivia! :)
           Fugazi:  Swing it to the left and swing it to the
                    right, think about baseball, swing it all
                    night, YEAH!  Oh yeah, do you want to touch
me?
             Ilsa:  Stacey says you are SOOOOOOO k rad
       Shadowolfe:  Could you PLEASE do that in the privacy of
                    your bedroom.. ohhh that is your bedroom..
             Dave:  Lick me!
       Jack Flack:  Those who are talking about Brent getting a
                    job and not playing trivia need to go to
                    [T]eleconference. :)
       Blackcloud:  Now go trash your Tel-Co trucks, smoke your
                    pot and get grounded!!  And what's this
                    obsession with giving head to Joe?
            Prong:  Are you off the rag yet? :)
                U:  Quack, quack.  You're right, we wouldn't date
                    ex-married chicks if we were you either.
   Prince Kheldar:  We'll have to I.D. you before you can come to
                    our next party.
           Gorgas:  Marshmallow bars-- would you make up your
                    mind already?
     The Stranger:  Happy late birthday!! :)

                  **GROUP GREETS GO OUT TO:

              TBH:  Just 'five drunk beetches' greetin' a few
                    pretentious little boys.. but you are still
                    brothers in our books.. YES YES YES!! :)
              P0i:  The phabulous phive wants to ask you phools
                    if this phondness phor spelling everything
                    like 'phallic' is going to be a phucking
                    phavorite phad phorever? :)
              SAZ:  Your new viewer is the bong!  And don't worry
                    you're not losing two of your writers.

                 **SPECIAL GREETS TO:

          LA Guns:  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR NOT
                    BREAKING UP!!!
Mr.   Spirit  at
Raven's house(RG):  STOP PULLING HER FREAKING HAIR!! :)
      La Baguette:  For providing the atmosphere for the first
                    official TDKEB meeting [even though we had a
                    substitute B :) And a busy one at that].
           Willie:  He's the San Francisco treat AND the other
                    white meat, plus he's got the right one baby
                    and he's on sale, sale, sale NOW at Oklahoma
                    Discount Furniture.  Eat all you want-- he'll
                    make more.


    **And to all the people that bitched about not getting
      greeted last time:  A big FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!  Next time
      don't be so fucking eager!!! :)

         **AND EXTRA, EXTRA, EXTRA SPECIAL TDKEB THANKS TO:
        Mr. Spock:  Working so hard on a viewer for us!! WOW WOW!
                    And for the nifty program you wrote for us
                    for this issue!
        Orion Pax:  For Renegade, in all its BBS glory :)
           Wolvie:  The link to OP, and the help with setting up
                    the board.
            Mirth:  For offering to make ANSIs (even though we're
                    still waiting for them).
          YAUN-Ti:  The coll VGA you made.  Peace offering? :)
                    Also for the interview, support and the
                    offers to help out.  Can we have some ANSIs
                    please please please please??? heheh
  Buster Friendly:  For all the help and advice with the BBS and
                    linking us with Mr. Spock.
             Dave:  Awesome bitmaps.  You have talent.
  Social Parasite:  For being so polite. :) You seem really coll.
                    And for offering to be a distro site.
     The Stranger:  For your encouragement, support and feedback
                    even in the wake of potential disaster, for
                    brainstorming BBS names for us, and for being
                    our first distro site.
        False God:  For the BBS name suggestions and helping us
                    set up the BBS.
         Ozzy and
       Fruit-loop:  The coll computer deal.  Come back!!!

Hope we didn't forget anyone... if we did, just cry and moan a
lot and we will remember next time.

     THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND HELP!   WE ARE
     FOREVER  IN YOUR DEBT!    Also, to many countless others,
     thanks  for calling to test out the board, and for giving
     advice,  suggestions,  help,  offers,  encouragement  and
     support  of  what  we  are  doing.  None of this would be
     possible without you.   You have replenished our faith in
     the idea that people are willing to help out others.  May
     you all live long, happy, prosperous, sexually fulfilling
     lives.


                 
                       What's Up In April...


*** We're back.     We're bigger.     We're better.   We're  new
and
improved.   We're   the   choice of a new masturbation.   It's
ISSUE
TUE!!   YES   ANASTASIA!    SCHWING!    Ok.. settling back down
once
again  as  you  can  see,  there  is still no viewer.  There will
be
by  issue  Thur-ey.    Mr.   Spock   is   spending a few hours
daily
putting  it  together  for  us  cause  he's such a  swell  guy!  
We
don't   even   know   how   to  thank  him.  Any ideas?  Um.. oh
ok.
Anyway,   if   you   haven't  already,  read  that file you
unzipped
called  !READ1ST.NOW  (Head now!).  It  gives  more  explanations
of
the  files  and  format,  etc.   Text  is not as fun as a viewer,
we
know but get ready for all that to change.  Soon.

*** Most  of  you  probably  know this already, but TDKEB's BBS
went
up   officially   on   March  28  and  is  going  strong.  We 
voted
democratically  on  the  name,  narrowing  down  a  list of
nearly a
hundred   names,   and   finally  agreed  upon  "Twisted 
Phallicy."
(Sorry,  False  God, no  "The Happy Penis" or "Vagina Valley.")
This
is  where  you'll  get  all  your  TDKEB news, issues, and info
from
now on.   Plus you get to chat with us.  Well, maybe.  It's a
highly
social  board,  with  an  average  of  25  callers  and 150
messages
posted  daily. It's  still in the productive and experimental
stages
right now as well..  so  be  patient.  Oh.. you want the number? 
Go
look at the bitmap.  And  pay  attention  to  every word in it. 
Now
go play.

*** TDKEB    also    got    its   local   distro  sites down: 
Where
Shadows   Wait,   which   is   also   the   Soulz  at   Zero  
world
headquarters, and The Far Shores.  TDKEB  has  its  own  little
file
base  on these boards   there  and  everything... it's so cute
hehe.
The  Stranger and Social Parasite offered  the  use  of their
boards
for this such purpose.  So  if  you can't get on Twisted Phallicy
to
get the new issues, check there next, cause that's these two 
boards
will be the the first places it'll be uploaded every time. We're
not
giving out the numbers or NUPs either.  We're not allowed.   Talk
to
the SysOps. :)

*** Finally, TDKEB is having their second party!!!  (Hopefully 
all
TDKEB members will be there this time.. on  hand  and 
autographing
floppy disks).  The  party  will  be  mid-April, just  a  few 
days
after  this  issue is released.  It's invitation only, sorry!!!
But
if  you  didn't  get  one,  talk  to Black Sunshine or DeRaNgEd
and
they'll  see  what  they  can  do.  If  you can't come, we'll
still
give you all the gory details,  maybe  even  pictures.  Who 
knows?
We can get really creative.   What's  the  occasion???   Why, 
it's
Anacodia's,  DeRaNgEd's  and  the  substitute  B's 
half-birthdays.
Plenty of reason to celebrate.

*** The  Brotherhood  of  4o5  is  taking a break from
distributing
newsletters  this  month???  For  more  information,  be  sure 
and
check out the interview with TBH President, YAUN-Ti.

*** Gatoperro,  is  it  true  there's  going  to  be no more
TTG???

*** Soulz at Zero  is  getting bigger  than  ever.  It's 
spreading
through  the  Internet  now  and  has readers as far away as
Canada
and Australia.  AUSTRALIA!!!   There  were  four  new writers
added
in April, and their new viewer is awesome.   Check  it  out  if
you
haven't already.

*** Ok,  so  there  was  no  Gathering  that allianced P0i and
TBH.
P0i's  making changes?   Rumor  has  it  that Fugazi left the
group
due to  irreconcilable differences  with  President, U,  who
claims
Fugazi   was  kicked  out of the group.  U  then  asked  Fugazi 
to
rejoin,  who declined.  Is  it  true  that  there is no more
Phaith
and  Social Parasite replaced him?  And  that  Mr.  Spock and
YAUN-
Ti are  merging with the group?   Oh man,  can't  these people
make
up their  minds already? :)  TDKEB missed the hell out of you,
Joe.

*** Special   announcement  expressly  from Violetta Kitten: 
Black
Sunshine   and  Fugazi  sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G...
HAHAHA.

*** Time  to hibernate.   Everyone's getting bitten by the
marriage
bug.  Just  because we're  so up on the news, we thought we'd
share
with you that  twenty  million  modem  couples are planning to
take
walks to the  altar together.  Okay..  not  really  twenty
million.
Let's see..  there's Doctor Rotcod, whose  wife-to-be  isn't in
the
modem world.   (Is  it  true  you  haven't  even kissed her
yet???)
Then there's  the too-good-to-be-true  couples  Eagle  and
Girasol,
Jimbo and  Pebbles, and Tivia and Samurai.  WOW.   There's also
one
secret one  that we can't talk about yet.  (Oooh,  bet that
aroused
your... uh..  curiousity).  Someone's feeling left out.   Won't
say
any names but  it starts with TDKEB.  No seriously, congrats to
all
all of you.   May your marriages not be tempered  with  the 
modern
divorce solution.   And may you forever feel the way you feel
about
each other now.  Was that sappy or what?

*** Everything in this entry is  completely  truthful  and
attempts
to present information  in an unbiased  manner.  The  last week 
in
March and the first week  in  April was  Major BBS hell.  
Vinculum
Data Systems went down for  a week  and a half  (during which 
time
most of this e-mag  was  put  together,  what   with  all that
free
time..  haha).  Why?  Seems  Peter  Dimas  and staff  had a
falling
out with business partner, Gaddiel, and  they  had  to move  all
of
the equipment  out  of  Gaddiel's  office,  or something like
that,
and back to the original location.  Gaddiel had locked  the 
office
doors and changed the locks, so they  couldn't get in and  get 
the
equipment out.  When VDS finally  reclaimed  it, there was still 
a
huge time wait due to  getting it all set  back up and  waiting 
to
for the telephone  company  to  transfer  all the  phone  lines.
On
the  initial  day  back  up,  VDS  was  credit  exempt  and
offered
customers  the  chance to  stock-pile  credits  at 50 hours for
ten
bucks.  Even  at the  normal  rates of  thirty-three cents an
hour,
it's still the  cheapest local  multi-line  board.  Gaddiel has
now
joined  with  Mirth  and  put  up  a  twenty-line  Major BBS, 
Dark
Creations, Inc.,  at  rates  of  forty  cents an hour.  Viking 
has
also set up his own  family-oriented  Major BBS, InTheNet, at
fifty
cents  an  hour.  Boy, is  competition  fierce  right  now. 
Paying
customers  should  end up  with  the best  of all  worlds with
this
one.  The feud between  Gaddiel and  VDS is getting a little old
on
both  sides.  VDS  claims  that Gaddiel  was  embezzling money
from
them,  as  well as  using  customer  credit-card  numbers  for
um..
illegal  things.  VDS  also  claims  that  Dark  Creations  will
be
running the  popular Tele-arena door game  illegally, however,
Dark
Creations  was  able  to  purchase  the 4o5 area code  lock for
the
game.  It  DOES  mean, however, that  both systems  will be able
to
run the game.  There is  no real way to  know for sure what went
on
between  Gaddiel and  VDS.  "I recall in the first days of VDS
when
it had  moderators,   and I  was one," said Black Sunshine.  "I
was
'discharged'  totally rudely  and  unfairly  because  I was
friends
with  Blackcloud  who  was  friends  with  Ugly  Kid  Joe 
(Digital
Anarchist) who had been causing  problems  for Peter Dimas and
Vds.
Then to justify  it, staff members  of VDS made up numerous
stories
about  how I  had been  leaking  information  to  Blackcloud 
about
'sysop  activities   and  information'  and  giving  him 
impartial
treatment  while I was  moderating."  While  this is  old news,
and
has  been long  since buried, it  makes it  difficult  to know 
for
sure if  the stories  they tell about  Gaddiel are or even could
be
accurate!   However,  one  thing  that  is  for  sure is  that
when
members  of TDKEB  went to  the VDS  office  before Gaddiel left
to
pay him money  for credits,  he would show  them how he was
reading
the private  conversations of  the people  online.  He  also
showed
them and  laughed about how  funny it was to purposely  lock up
the
board  for  about  ten  or  fifteen  seconds  and  then  watch 
the
dialogue  scroll  and everyone  in  teleconference  get pissed. 
He
also  read email  and replied to people, interjecting his
comments,
in an  email  conversation.  Regardless  of whether he actually
did
anything  illegal  or anything  to wrong  Peter Dimas, all of
these
other  things  ARE   fact  and  cannot  be   denied   and  are 
not
appreciated.   Mirth,  however,  is an  awesome guy, and  so DCI
is
going to  be given a  chance for  his sake.  ALSO (AND YOU ALL
MUST
CHECK THIS OUT) ON  DCI, WHEN  YOU GO INTO  THE ON-LINE  GAMES
MENU
THE  HOT-KEYS FOR  ALL OF  THE  GAMES, READING  DOWN ARE T, D, K,
E
AND B.  YES  YES!  IS THAT  AWESOME  OR WHAT?? WE ARE
IMMORTALIZED.
THAT'S  REASON  ENOUGH  TO  CALL..  haha j/k.  The other new
multi-
line  board, InTheNet, promises a  less-free  open  speech 
policy,
however, the  sysop  is extremely nice  and is willing to work
with
customers.  He's also not  completely nuts  like Gaddiel or the
way
a lot  of the  VDS staff  used to  be (still is??) and he has a
lot
of people  backing him.  Who  will  win the  Major-BBS wars???
Only
time will tell...


 
     "Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hang
      onto."
                              --Delores, DELORES CLAIBORNE
 


                             Truth Or Dare
               (only one way around an indisputable fact)

     This month we had so many questions and comments, it may
     take several pages to get through them all.  However, we
     feel it is important to include them all-- or as many as
     we can-- to  show  everyone  our  appreciation  for  the
     interest  and  reaction  that  has been generated.   The
     response  was  overwhelmingly  positive.  In  less  than
     a  month,  we   received   over  fifty  comments  and/or
     questions with ONE ISSUE   ALONE!   The   two   negative
     responses   were   voiced  in   the  Brotherhood's  most
     recent newsletter, number ten.  We  don't  want to leave
     any  of  you  in  the dark!   Here's  what   these   two
     writers  had  to  say word for word and our views on the
     subject:

           
          "Well I have to say that I expected a little
          more of the TBH ho's.   Between this and the
          Brotherhood of   Boards I don't know what to
          think.  Some of the poetry was ok but just a
          little advice,  why  don't you ALL write the
          next issue instead of just Kristen  (psycho)
          and Dee.  Good luck   on  your  TDKEB BBS...
          you're gonna need it. I guess this would fit
          into the  cateogory of ripping you to shreds
          but either get a LOT better or QUIT!  OH and
          Brit,  your   husband  is  a  far  cry  from
          Sebastian  Bach and watch who you whisper to
          when you're talking about me.  GASH.. "
                                               --Prong


           
          "I laughed.  That's about   it, so if that's
          their goal, success. Other  than  that  I do
          know that girls  just want to have fun,  but
          give me a break.  The jokes   were  "sorta,"
          the articles were "kinda," but  I  could  of
          [have?] done without the poems of kookiness.
          I  want  all  of  you to find a copy of this
          classic and read it.   It  is  different  as
          promised and not computer/scene related.  It
          reminded me of 5 drunk beetches talking shit
          just for kicks.  The highlight they admitted
          I am god (kinda) heh, oh chicks,  last  time
          I checked, it was up to 5 seconds.   *smirk*
          Smiles and "why mes" go out to the TBH ho's.
          This   was   no  surprise,  it  is  a  semi-
          entertaining letter,   but I guess I read it
          sober by mistake  (Hi  T,  D, K, E and B you
          psycho-sluts, you are all still  Sisters  in
          my book) =)"
                                             --YAUN-Ti


     --WHOA... you expected more from us???  Well maybe if we
     really were your ho's. I noticed something strange here.
     You  two didn't  agree  with  each  other about what you
     liked.  One  liked  the  poetry, the  other didn't?  One
     thought  it   was  "semi-entertaining"   and  the  other
     thought  we  should  "get  A  LOT better or QUIT?"  That
     speaks  to  us  in  the way of something called.. um.. a
     difference of opinion.  We don't expect everyone to like
     everything  in  this  e-mag.   It's  so diverse however,
     there's  bound  to  be  something  entertaining for just
     about everyone who checks this out. That doesn't mean we
     aren't any good.  We think, in fact, it testifies to the
     opposite.   Or at least says that we have recognized the
     fact and are attempting to cover everything.
          Your  comments  were  very  interesting  to us, and
     especially  intriguing  and  enlightening.  However, are
     personal  slams truly necessary???  It should be obvious
     the area(s) here that we are really talking about.    We
     think  it  only the right thing to  do,  if only for the
     sake of standard journalistic etiquette and practice, to
     refrain from name-calling.   And we're not talking about
     "Hi my name is Prong and I can't admit when I am  wrong"
     when  there are a dozen  places  surrounding  it  asking
     that one not take those as slams,  but  as  inside jokes
     and  an  indication that we feel comfortable enough with
     you and like you enough to play our game with your name.
     Even now we have no need to throw real insults your way,
     so we will not.
        There  has been some apologizing taking place for the
     supposed  "harshness"  with  which  we and our work were
     addressed.    Apologies  are  accepted,  although  quite
     unnecessary. :)  If this is truly your opinions, then we
     welcome  and  accept  them,  by all means.  Opinions are
     great things, even when in the minority.  They are still
     just  as  important,  as  long as the person stating the
     opinion  is educated on the subject he is commenting on.
     We  hope  that after reading this, it   relieves   some
     of  your  frustrations   and  confusion,  and  that, as
     time  passes,  and  there  are  more issues,  that  the
     essence of what this is all about will become even more
     clear to you.   That is, after all,  our  goal.  Making
     you laugh is good.   Making you think about why you are
     laughing is even better--  not  an easy task for people
     who have been drinking to do.  :)     It takes a lot of
     effort  and  calculation to turn something serious into
     something funny,   therefore   slanting   a   different
     note  of seriousness on it.  We  are  sorry that it was
     lost on you, but over time,  there will be more chances
     to  reach  you.  We'd  be  hypocrites if we didn't care
     about how we affect our readers. We hope that over time
     you  will  even want to change your opinion,  if just a
     little,  to  say  something  to  the  effect of,  "This
     isn't so bad after all."
        But,  if  that  never  happens, we  must  still allow
     ourselves  the  luxury of failure on this level.  Trying
     will  be our own reward. There are others to be touched;
     it is hard to cater to the needs of only two. It is hard
     to reach everyone...  and   we  believe  we  are  mature
     enough  to  realize  that  it  will  probably not happen
     and  to  take whatever insults you feel are essential to
     proving   that   our  mission  might  be  lost  on  you.
     Meanwhile, I suggest you sit back and get settled in. We
     won't be going away for quite some time. :)
        Thank you for listening.

                                   --TDKEB
                                   March 27,1995
                                   This  letter  was composed
                                   and modified as a  reponse
                                   which    honestly      and
                                   adequately   reflects  the
                                   views  and opinions of all
                                   members.


     
     The remainder of the comments concerning ISSUE WUN  were
     encouraging, flattering and optimistic.  We are still in
     shock  at  how many people went out of their way to tell
     us what they thought:


           
          "I love it.  I was only mentioned twice tho."
                                             --Pyroman

           
          "I was   insulted  repeatedly.. but oh I feel
           loved. It makde me laugh.  Hard thing to do,
           8 o clock. I've seen more talent in you than
           anyone in the Brotherhood..."
                                             --Fugazi

           
          "That  newsletter   is   fucking  hilarious.
           Especially  the  names.  I  was practically
           crying, me and Barry laughed so hard."
                                           --Stick Boy

           
          "Nice newsletter... just  needs  a viewer...
           and a MOD..."
                                           --Maelstrom

           
           "heheheh I read   your  mag! heheheh It was
            cool!  I liked it!"
                                             --Tortuga

           
          "God I am so paranoid  right  now  to  write
           anything to  you  feeling  that  I'll   get
           ridiculed by  a  group  of  women--  didn't
           I  already  go through that in high school?
           I thought it was great, I liked the quotes,
           I  liked  the long fiction/non-fiction type
           pieces about each letter of TDKEB,  I liked
           the different  departments, I liked all the
           mention of SAZ. :)  So I thought overall it
           was really nicely done  and I can't wait to
           see next month's.   I even  enjoyed the few
           filthy   comments  made  towards me. :) You
           ladies  worked  very  hard  it seems and it
           shows."
                                        --The Stranger

           
          "It was... interesting.  Really the only way
           to describe  it... I laughed   all  the way
           through it."
                                      --Prince Kheldar

           
          "...Realllly enjoyed the newsletter... and I
           was more than mildly impressed..speaking as
           an  ex-English  Lit major soooo many  years
           ago <g>... Anyhow, I especially enjoyed the
           gossip  parts... Just  feeding  my  purient
           interests, ya know...but on  occasion I did
           choke up on the poetry part.. and no..ain't
           gonna tell you whose... but  I did like the
           Truth or Dare section..."
                                             --Sunkist

           
           "I liked the newsletter.  I  can't  believe
            I was mentioned.  I  feel  really  special
            right now."
                                            --Kangaroo

           
           "You guys did pretty good..I've already got
            it spreading around... :>"
                                          --Timeshadow

          
           "I think it's cool..wish we had more and on
            a more frequent basis than once a month."
                                   --Mithrandir Slayer

           
           "Thank you for the magazine. I found it both
            amusing and informing."
                                             --Espruar

           
           "I just read and enjoyed the first issue of
            TDKEB... One of you Heathers insisted I get
            it."
                                              --Stuckee

           
           "I enjoyed the first effort fo TDKEB...   An
            interesting 'underground' lit thing."
                                             --Rainking

           
           "The mag is pretty rad... I like it.  All you
            guys need is a personalized reader :0  Maybe
            put  you're movie quotes up at random.   The
            text was  cool as hell though.  Keep it up."
                                                 --Deega

           
           "[I wish} to let it be known to the  writers
            of TDKEB <hence, TDKEB> that [I have]  just
            now recovered [my] breath after reading the
            newsletter.  Good points were.... TBH Slams
            ....rofl...You never appreciate those words
            until  you've  heard  them  used by working
            with one of them...The fact I was graced to
            be mentioned, slammed, but mentioned. :>  I
            think I  need to watch what I say nowadays.
            hehehehe... Hell, there was another comment
            ...oh well,  I'm  going  to  go look at the
            Trafficlits outside....  You guys did good,
            I'll  be  sending  a  copy to the Underdark
            <Stormbringer will want to see this> and it
            should get fair distribution from there....
            <clap><clap><clap>...   now  get  to  work,
            there's another issue to write....
                                               --Wolvie

           
          "I  liked  the  issue  and look forward to the
           next."
                                                  --Dave


--Thanks, guys.. Your input means alot.. Really  pleased with 
the
  outcome of the mag.. All I can  think to say right now is
thanks
  and I love  you all.. well  most  of you.. and  you know who
you
  are.. :) -Violetta Kitten
--Whoa... where  am I?  You  would think I just walked into a
door
  or something.  I've never heard  so many positive comments
about
  one thing.  I am  pleased to  know that  *we* pleased  you! 
(Oh
  baby, please  please me!) I think  the only negative thing
we've
  heard is  "Get a viewer".. or  "You need a MOD" . . what will
be
  left to bitch about when we get those? -DeRaNgEd
--Thank  you.  Thank  you very  much.  {tap, tap, tap}  Ladies
and
  gentlemen, TDKEB has left the building. -Black Sunshine
--You guys, thank  you soooo  sooo much  for the incredible
amount
  of feedback  from  the first  issue.  You  guys  seriously
don't
  know  how much the  e-mail about the issue meant to me. 
Please,
  keep  telling what  you like and dislike about the e-mag. 
Thank
  you very very much! :) :) -Anacodia
--Well, I'm  just happy  everyone  liked it.  Even  tho we 
didn't
  really care if anyone liked  it or not, we  did it for
ourselves
  mostly, but now  I think we are  going to  focus  more on a
real
  magazine type  public service thing.  More  mature, well not
TOO
  mature.. and informative.  Thanks everybody. --Raven

          
          "LDS  was insulted that he wasn't insulted in
           the e-mag."
                                               --Nimrod

--That doesn't mean we don't think he is insulting. -VK
--Oh, now  I am  so  perturbed  I  think I might go blow
peppermint
  patties. -D
--And  I'm  insulted  that  you're  insulted  that  he was
insulted
  because  he wasn't  insulted.. or something.  Sorry, we'll try
to
  do a more well-rounded slam fest from now on. -BS
--He is new.  Give it time. -R

           
          "I  am  rather offended at the greet you gave
           me last time.  I have an axe [in tele-arena]
           now!"
                                                --Mirth

--I'm Henry the Eighth I am... -VK
--Well bear that  axe as  well  as you can baby, because we are
out
  to get ya. -D
--And a fine  axe it  is, too,  I'm  sure.  Is  it as quick as
your
  sword? -BS
--Well  wield  your axe  well young man, it's a  virtual one so
you
  can't hurt us.  Nyah nyah. -R

           
          "I  didn't  get greeted.  I might not be into
           modeming much anymore, but I still expect to
           get greeted!"
                                      --Big-D Bongwater

--Greet this, mother fucker. -VK
--Um, well be more annoying on-line and we might greet ya. -D
--And I expect  that I  would gladly pay you on  Tuesday for a
blow
  job today.  -BS
--Okay,  this  is  where  I  just  beg  for   forgiveness  for 
not
  answering many  pages due  to school and emotional baggage that
i
  was dealing with.  And HI ZANE!! Is that better? -R

           
          [Concerning  the  quiz  question  about  the
          skittles in Issue Wun] "You ho's put them on
          a string and use them as ass beads!"
                                               --Prong

--Hi, PronG.. you sure are swell. -VK
--Wrong!  Thank  you for  playing.  Oh yeah, would  you like
thighs
  with that? -D
--Is this  part of that one  fantasy with a cock ring that you
kept
  trying to tell me about over the phone last October??? -BS
--I  don't  even  know   what  an  ass  bead  is.   You  must 
have
  experience in that area. -R



     
    **TRUTH OR DARE   would   not   be   complete  without the
    bombardment  of  the  truly inane subjects that we love to
    talk about anyway.  Read on...

           
           "Naked TDKEB yeeeee-ha!!!"
                                              --Fugazi

--See, I can be nice.. but we  only do it because  we love you
babe
  =) -VK
--Where?  Dammit, I  missed it  again, didn't I?  I always miss
all
  the good stuff *pout* -D
--I'm  naked?   And   nobody  told   me???   Well  hell,  ride 
'em
  cowboy! -BS
--Uh, Kristen... we never discussed this... -A
--In  some  opinions,  naked  TDKEB  would  be a  very 
frightening
  experience.  But now that I think  about it, I supposed 
Kristen,
  D, Tina, Erika and I are all naked under our clothes. -R

           
           "I have a question for you girls.. How many
            fingers do you prefer?   And  do you prefer
            manual or automatic sticks?"
                                           --False God

--I think I would be  inclined to answer that if I actually  gave
a
  damn. -VK
--If you know me so well, then tell me which hand I use! 8) -D
--Actually, I  prefer  tongues  to  fingers..  and as far as
sticks
  go  [I  refuse  to  make a  Stick Boy  joke :)],  it's   a 
tough
  decision... manual  gives me  far  more control, but an
automatic
  is  SUCH  low  maintenance.  Oh  well,  as   long   as  there 
is
  plenty of  gas  and  I'm  driving  with  insurance, I'm  going
to
  put  some   mileage   on   that    speedometer!    Yes,  yes! 
Go
  Speedracer!  -BS
--Collectively or single? -A
--I prefer  as  many  fingers as  the guy wants to use.  As long
as
  they are not my  own finger.  Mine  our boring.  Why would I
want
  to use  my own  fingers???  And  as far  as  sticks go,
automatic
  all the way. -R

           
           "How can Sunshine be Black????"
                                          --Timeshadow

--It's  the  end  of  the  world as we know it, it's the end of
the
  world as we know it.. And I feel fine. -VK
--Well, if  your  mind  is that  limited, then  maybe you should
be
  sitting  at  home  watching   Sesame  Street  and  learning 
your
  ABC's.   -D
--Gee, I haven't been asked  THAT  a million times.  :) Oh, and
how
  do shadows tell time? -BS
--When it's Kristen. -R

           
          To Black Sunshine:    "That's what your TDKEB
          board should be about--  call  your  favorite
          TDKEB  girl and they'll  talk  dirty  to  you
          or   in   your   case   they'll    tell   you
          embarrassing   stories  about penis fantasies
          as young children and how well the men of TBH
          have sex."
                                          --The Stranger

--Hi, My name's Bambi, and I have a penis. -VK
--Damn!  Why the hell didn't I think of that? -D
--What?  Moi??  I'm not a  'kiss  and  tell'  kind of girl, now 
we
  all  know  that.....   oh, and  before  I  forget,  call 
Twisted
  Phallicy  soon.  Boy  do  I  have  to  tell  you  about  that
one
  sysop... -BS
--That  would  cost  the users SO much money they would all have
to
  go to the poor house. -R

            
           "So who are the original people in the group?
            And how did TDKEB form?  And how did you get
            the idea to make this newsletter?"
                                      --Prince Kheldar

--One  time  Dianeme  and  I  made a  trip out to  Kristen's
fluffy
  pad..  Oh, I  won't  go  into  details about what we were
doing..
  but  at  the end of  the  night we were all assembled in front
of
  her  book shelf,  bidding farewell, and  I noticed  that
Deranged
  had a  TDK tape  in her  pocket...  Something  clicked in my
mind
  and  I  spoke my  insanities.  "Tina,  Dianeme, Kristen ---
TDK."
  And  the idea  just  stuck.  Then  we  decided later to add
Raven
  and Anacodia because we were all really close friends. -VK
--1) The  originals  are  TDKEB!  No  exceptions   to   this 
rule!
  2) That's  privileged  information,  mister.   3) We  were 
bored
  and  needed  yet  another  thing  to  clutter  up  our  busy
work
  schedule. -D
--Well,   after  Zakk  Wylde  went  back  to Ozzy  and Kirk
Hammett
  took  off  to  do a solo project,  you're looking at only five
of
  the  original  members.   We  formed  when.. oh  dear,  I 
didn't
  think  I'd  be  explaining  the  birds  and  the bees for quite
a
  few  more  years... and  we're  just  too  brilliant  to keep
all
  this  wit  bottled  up  inside  of us, not sharing with you..
how
  greedy. -BS
--Um...from  the  nature  of  the letters in TDKEB it would be
safe
  to assume  that  Tina,  D,  Kristen,  Erika and Brittany were
the
  original members.  Duh. -R

           
          "How many calories/nutrients/fat grams are in
           the average male ejaculate?....I  hear a lot
           of   protein..  but   I  need  to  know  the
           calories/fat grams...."
                                             --Sunkist

--I read an  article in one of  those funky women magazines that
it
  was  definitely  fat  free.  Hhaha...... I  remember  my 
English
  Composition  teacher told  me she  once saw a talk show with
this
  famous  supermodel  that  was  on this "special" diet..  And
that
  was  the  only  thing  she  ate.  Gross.  I am  not  real
worried
  about all that shit.. go figure. -VK
--Um, they forgot to  teach us that  in science class.  I feel
like
  an important  part of my  education has been forfeited because
of
  the biased education system. -D
--I  don't   know,   but  I  read,  "How  to  Make  Him  Think 
You
  Swallowed  When  You  Really  Didn't"  and I  it  may be just
the
  breakthrough we've been waiting for-- no pun intended. -BS
--I understand  that  if  you  are  worried  about  the
fat/calorie
  content in semen, you should  just  avoid a piece or two of
candy
 you were thinking about eating... -A
--Gross.  I don't want to know. -R

           
          "I thought I knew all the names,  but  I  was
          wrong. I still don't know T =violetta = ????"
                                              --Cruiser

--You  forgot to  capitalize  the "V" in  Violetta..  Next  time
it
  will be your head. -VK
--Where  have you  been  hiding?  In  a broom  closet spanking
your
  naughty monkey? -D
--What  in  the  HELL  makes you  think  Violetta  is a part of
all
  this???  DAMN we can't keep anything a secret. -BS
--Well, if  you  didn't  introduce yourself to each one of us
three
  times you wouldn't get so confused. -R

           
          "Damn  [the issue]is getting long  (put your
           favorite TDKEB joke here)."
                                        --TBH Issue 10

--"Once  the  beaver, always   the  beaver."  --  Jello  Biafra
-VK
--Um,  ok.. what's  the  best  way to get the attention of a
member
  of the TDKEB?  Yell "Head Now" in a crowded room and watch. -D
--Yes,  well   you   know, the  LONGER  you  can  drag  it out,
the
  better the, uh... payoff.. :) -BS
--Ha  Ha.  I  guess  you  guys  have run out of originality and
are
  looking to us for it now. -R

           
          "I   hand   over   to   you,  all  my  sexual
           frustrations  from the redwood forest to the
           virgin islands,  this  land was made for you
           and me."
                                             --Nice Guy

--From California  to the  New York Islands, this hand was made
for
  only me. -VK
--I don't  need  your  sexual  frustrations!  I  have my own,
thank
  you very much. -D
--Oh goodie.. Santa came early this year. -BS
--Thank you, Jazzy Jeff, for that. -A
--Oh  good  God,  on  top  of  my  own?   We  may have to expand
to
  Europe. -R

           
          "Why  are  the girls of TDK90210 so clickish
           [sic]?"
                                              --Nimrod

--You do what you need to -- survival of the fittest. -VK
--Clickish?  Dammit,  you're  making  Willie mad.  Watch out  or
he
  might give you a REAL San Fransisco treat! -D
--TDK90210?  We're  doing  numbers  now?  Is  that  like  3l173 
or   33117733 or 696969 or whatever the fuck it is today? -BS
--Oh shut up, you are just jealous because you aren't in  any 
cool
  cliquey groups.  -R

           
           To Violetta Kitten:  "Are  you  the coolest
           chick on VDS?  You and Stick Boy should get
           married  then  you  could  have the coolest
           children around."
                                              --Nimrod

--Yes, I am.. Don't listen to Black Sunshine..  chances  are.. 
she
  missed her medication. -VK
--I  thought  you  said  *I*  was  the  coolest!?!  Oh well,
you're
  right.  Vio is WAY cooler than I am!  And twice as nice. -D
--Vio is definitely in the top rankings  of  coolest chick on
VDS..
  you  are  lucky  you even get to talk  to  her.  She  barely
even
  speaks to me!!  But I already beat her  on  one  point..
er..that
  would be having the coolest child around.. heh. -BS
--Ice ice baby. -R

           
          "I think   all  you  TDKEB  people want Joe
           [Fugazi] to go down on you."
                                         --Blackcloud

--Yeah, you're  just  suffering from clit envy.  I bet you
secretly
  want Joe to go down on you, too... I've heard you  chanting 
late
  at night in your blissful slumber, "DOWN ON JOE!   DOWN  ON 
JOE!
  DOWN ON JOE!"  Well I hate to  burst  your  bubble,  skippy, 
but
  fat chance!  This Joe's no ho! -VK
--No but I am sure you wanted to watch.  Sorry to disappoint you
-D
--Ahhh what do you expect? "I'm at my sexual peak, young lady!"
-BS
--Not all of us.  Some of us would  rather  have  Kelley Nickels
go
  down on us. -R

           
          "What would you do if  I  were lying  naked
           before you?"
                                            --Stuckee

--I  would  probably  throw  up  then  run  screaming..  thanks
for
  asking. -VK
--Um.. laugh my ass off! -D
--Why, I believe the correct response  would  be,  'Oh I would
just
  burst with fruit flavor...' um, yeah. -BS
--I would prolly just shut my eyes.  I am a good girl! -A
--Run and scream.  I'm afraid of naked men.  -R


 
     "A fast moving car is the only place where you're legally
      allowed to not deal with your problems.
                              --Douglas Coupland, LIFE AFTER GOD
 


                 "When the Fun in Modeming Goes, So Do I"

Who  around here hasn't heard of  or seen the name "YAUN-ti?"  As
founder  of  The Brotherhood of  4o5, YAUN-Ti never imagined that
his idea of  consolidating the  local boards  into an underground
coalition would explode into a  massive movement which would both
divide modemers   in  the  405  area code, and set up a system of
operation similar to real-life  political hierarchy. Now, YAUN-Ti
is putting his enterprise on hold to pursue his computer artwork?
Sit back and peek in on a conversation  I had with YAUN-Ti, as we
talked about The Brotherhood, his artwork, modeming  in  general,
and the "YAUN-Ti" away from the computer.  This  conversation  is
published here in its  entirety  with nothing   omitted.  So  you
think you know YAUN-Ti, huh?  Read on...


6:53 pm  Sun Apr 2, 1995
Recorded with user: YAUN-Ti
Chat reason: Hey Dammit
------------------------------------

Black Sunshine:  Ok.. well.. I guess before I start asking stuff
I  want  to give you a chance to tell me exactly why you kind of
approached  me for this interview?  I mean, why did you think it
would be a good idea?

YAUN-Ti:  Well, everything I say in 4o5 is just taken wrong and
people don't  get a clue unless I name names, and, well, that's
kind of jerky  to  just flame people unless they ask for it.  I
want a place that  many  read to see just what is on my mind as
Brian not as YAUN-Ti the elite fuck in 4o5 (a dude in Las Vegas
called me that on I-net) hahahaha.

BS:  Ok..  so  basically  you just want to, like, get stuff out
that's on your mind that  you  feel you either can't say in TBH
newsletters or you think isn't reaching the right people?

YT:  Kinda and I just like to laugh at times, and well TDKEB is
something I want to do but never will with TBH. It's funny, and
well I am funny (you know that) and so I guess I want people to
just be entertained.  And  to  see  that  I  am  not  just some
bastard.

BS:  Ok, I see.. kind of like throwing  a  different  slant  on
yourself then.  Well, you have mentioned TBH.  What is going on
there? You have broughtup before to me that you.. hmm.. I can't
remember  exactly  how you phrased it... but you said something
about  how  you  possibly  are  thinking of leaving it for your
artwork or putting it on the back burner...something like that?

YT:  Yeah.. I have just lost some interest  in  the whole scene
here.  The scene used to be a few changes  and  the  flow  kept
rolling.. now it seems that it changes  every  day, and I don't
want it to be something that cries for respect,  because in the
scene today, nothing is sacred, and it's abused.  I mean when I
began  TBH4o5 as a newsletter about a year ago it was something
small, just a text file really,  and  it's  grown into this big
thing.  I like that part of it, I hate the part  that  everyone
just takes advantage of the whole  underground idea. It used to
be like a secret thing, and  now  it's  just  up for grabs.  It
has lost its fun for me. I am not calling it quits yet. I mean,
I  took  a break and won't be back with issue eleven until late
May or even June.  I just need to get away, and I plan to spend
time in the art scene.  UNION, the group I am in now, is just a
whole  different  world than anything local.  I mean, you start
running  around  with  one  of the best three art groups in the
nation and you have to be serious about it.. and I am.

BS:  Yeah, it  would seem like it, since you are taking a break
from TBH.  But  you  mentioned that the whole "underground" was
being taken advantage of?  How do you mean?

YT:  Gawd.  I  could  explain it best like this. When I started
finding out that there  were  darker  sides  to the modem (like
pirate files and p/h/a and all that) about six years ago it was
hard to find. Boards would look normal on the front end and you
had  to  have  high  access to find back doors with the "elite"
stuff.  Now,  it's  like "Hey, I have a board and it's run with
OBV/2  software  and  I  am going to advertise it as 0-day,  no
lamers" type.  It's  not  special and it's grown into something
that is sad and sick.  Ya  know,  maybe it could just be I have
access anywhere and it's not so hard to find?  I dunno..

BS:  No, I don't think it's just you. It seems like every time 
I  log  on  a board I see all these advertisements with little
descriptions under them that say things like:"P/H/A only" etc. 
And it's just like.. so blatant. I think, though, that part of
the reason why it's like this now  is  because  of TBH and the
newsletters. It's like everyone wants to be a part of this big
"project"  or  something.   Why  do you think there is so much
interest in TBH and the newsletters and activities and such?

YT:  Man.  Good one.  Yes,  I can say that the overflooding of
shit can be pointed to the newsletters and  the  interest, and
that  bothers  me.  I can't keep them hidden, because everyone
wants to read them. I find it almost funny when it gets around 
on  Internet and people all over the nation want to read about
Oklahoma's underground. Why people have this interest...that's
a "tuff" question.  I  could say that there is a whole society 
on the modem world, or as some call it, "cyber-space," that is
just a mask for people.  You see, on the modem one may be able 
to  succeed  at things, whereas in real life certain goals are
not there to gain.  It's like something I always want to study 
as a  sociologist  some  day.  So they want to be part of this
power;  it's  really  strange  if ya ask me.  I started TBH as
something  for  me  and  a group of a few underground boards I
called,  and  now it's just something that people look forward
to.  I hope they don't read it just to look for their name.

BS:  It seems as if a lot of people DO do that..  I was on VDS
[Vinculum Data Systems-- duh!] right after the 10th issue came
out, like the very day and I saw an argument between two users
(that I won't mention)  about  whose  name  was mentioned more
often.    No kidding..  and  they  were counting up like "I've
been mentioned  twelve  times since the first issue" and stuff
like that.It's become very overblown and like you said, almost
sad because as I understand it, it was just some kind of thing 
to  present  news  in the scene to local boards and now people
read it for entertainment,  which  I'm  sure  is  not what you
wanted at all.   But  do  you think your goal of uniting local
boards in this way was accomplished?

YT:  Yes, it was. I brought it all together with TBH4o5. And I
am grateful.  There are a lot of boards  out  there  from  the 
underground side that are great  because of the support I gave
them and the support the members of that board gave me. It was 
a  circle  of  things  at  first.   Then I started calling TBH
the  "newsletter  to inform and entertain" and now it's mostly
entertainment that is given, because there is not much news to
give every month  or  so, but I think that was part of TBH and
its  growing.  I  don't  have  a  problem  with  people  being
entertained  by  TBH.  I  have  a  problem  with   people  not
understanding who it is written for.

BS:  So after all that,  you  are going to concentrate more on
your artwork for the time being. I want to ask you some things
about that.  Okay.. speaking to someone who is unfamiliar with
the differences between art groups across the country, what is
the  difference  between  saying, "I  am in ACID" and "I am in
UNION" or whatever?

YT:  Well I never did any studies on the history of art groups
out there, I know that ICE and ACID were some of the first out
there, I mean, years ago. And there really is no difference to
me  other  than I have artists in one group that I love to see
what they have drawn and faves in other groups that I look at. 
To be  honest (and this is a bad part of the art scene) people
like  it  sometimes  just  for the name.  People will spend up 
to two hundred bucks on a two hundred line ANSI from people in
ICE or  ACID or even UNION for that matter.  So its like a big
market  now.  I have met artists who live off of art work now. 
And as for differences in the groups, it's the artist.I really
hope that many users who have access to these art packs take a
look at them.  They are great.

BS:  All   right.  So  you  are  saying  that  pretty much the
differences lie in the quality of the artwork  that members in
the groups put out?


YT:  Yes and no. Sometimes a member from ACID will go to UNION
or  some  other  group  for  a  month,  so  its not the groups
themselves.  The  big  three  have  a  tradition of great work
overall  so to compare the groups would be unfair (though many
do). It's just part of this hobby I enjoy.  It's just based on
taste of the person viewing it, and the group's talent itself. 
Some groups out there really suck, but they are just trying to
make  it  in  the  scene as a big power art group (like I said
before the real life/modem life).

BS:  Who are "The Big Three?"

YT:  Hahah..  I could answer 2 ways.  The big three on the art
scene are ACID,ICE and UNION.  The big three local are TTP,EX,
and SD (boards--I call them the big three because they are the
biggest underground boards) heh.

BS:  It  seems  almost similar to the TBH thing we just talked
about, where there's,  like, a hierarchy of what is "cool" and
what isn't (or "elite" haha). It's like politics or something. 
I  liked  what  you said about modeming vs. real life though..
when  did you get this sudden interest in art (or is it not so
sudden?)

YT:  Well I have been in many smaller groups: RANCID and EDEN,
to name a few. These were used by me to just sharpen my skills 
and  now  that  I  made  UNION  I  feel that I need to be more 
serious.  I   mean,  my  first  pack  with  the group is to be
released soon, and I already have people I don't know on I-Net
asking me do do them  pics for cash or trade (like accounts on
other boards and such)  and they have never seen my work, they
just want the UNION name. 

BS:  Wow.. so is that your goal?  To make money at this?

YT:  NO. I hope it is no one's. My goal in the art scene is to
let people around the world see my stuff. That's it.  I am not
saying I'll turn down cash..hehehe..but it was never a plan of
mine and when I was offered [money]  the  first time, I nearly
laughed thinking it was a joke.   And  I dunno, I'd love to do
graphics for a living.

BS:  How do you think this is going to  affect  TBH,  and  the
scene locally now that you are spending more time working with
UNION and your artwork?

YT:  Well that's why I found me a staff (even though even they
at times seem to be too busy even for something they love).  I
mean, Flack is forgiven, he is hard at work with the SAZ crew.
But  the  others  just  don't understand deadlines and such. I
have  many out there local that would love to be on the staff,
and  I  may  have a staff change when I come back.  I have not
decided yet.


BS:  But  you  are seen as kind of the "leader"  since you are
the founder.  You don't think this will affect the scene (more
than the newsletter itself)?  I am basically talking about all
those people who oh.. like read the newsletter to  be  "elite"
and stuff like that...

YT:  Heh, it  takes more than a copy of TBH to make one elite.
Well, yes it may do something.. good or bad I can't tell. It's
hard to say because the scene is moving so slow now,  and with
I-Net growing so fast its like the  need  for  Bulletin  Board
Systems is going downhill fast. I can get anything--ANYTHING--
off the Internet that I can get here on local boards, and many
times faster.

BS:  So you think that with time, all of the "BBS world"  will
become obsolete?

YT:  Well, I  have  two  ways  I think about the future of the
modem world. 1) The BBS will become an I-Net thing (like MUDS,
but more of the BBS style)  where  you  can  set up a board on
your  I-net  account  and  people  call  it  with  their I-net
account; or  2) The government and its pressure for control of 
I-net  will  kill the Internet craze (underground-wise anyway)
and the BBS will become higher than it has ever been.

BS:  That is interesting... Do  you  see yourself as a kind of
"role model" for people locally or even nationally?

YT:  Well local... I  hope  so, in  ways.  See, this may sound
crazy to some, but this is a hobby I live for, and anything or
anyone that makes it local brings  in  the  national.  Like  a
board  getting  a  site  for a group that none local have seen
before, or a local making it national.   National.. oh man,  I
have  been  asked  by  many  across  the  nation to make TBH a
nationwide thing.   It won't happen, and if it does I won't be
running it.  It  would  take all my time.  I have a bad enough
time trying to get the local mag  together; I  don't  want  to
hunt down Joe Blow from Kansas for his article over the I-net. 

BS:  So  what have you contributed to the scene other than the
formation of TBH4o5?

YT:  Heh..  I dunno really.  I try and help out anyone that is
into the BBS thing. I hate those who put up a  board  for  the
sake  of saying I am a SysOp instead of putting up a board for
the love of the modem (if there is a love hehehe). I guess you
could  say  I  try  and  support all the groups local that are
worth the eyes of others.  I  know  many think that my opinion
is, like, the one to get, but it's just my taste and if others
follow it, then it's sad they went with it without looking for
themselves.

BS:  Yes.. I  have  noticed  you  seem  to be a pretty helpful 
person. You've helped out TDKEB a lot.  How long have you been
modeming?

YT:  Oh, long one here..heh..[deep breath].. Okay, I would say
probably about eight years overall.   It started when a friend 
of mine had his 1200 baud modem with his PC Junior (Lefty) and 
we called some boards and got GIFs (and with CGA oh man was it
sad). We would spend hours just downloading two GIFs. And from
there we found boards with message bases. The scene was rather
small.  The  second  time was a friend down the street sold me 
his  C64  with  a  VIC20 300 baud modem.. haha.  That's when I
started doing it daily.

BS:  Wow,  that  is  hard to believe you have been doing it so
long.  I mean, I think the first time I saw a modem was when I
was about fifteen.  I  remember  my ex-boyfriend bought a 1200
baud  from  someone for, like, fifty dollars and he was acting
like  it  was the greatest thing on the planet.  I watched him
spend  hours  getting  pictures  (of  naked  women.. haha) and
chatting with SysOps  and  NO ONE really knew what modems were
except just these few  people, it seems like, you know.. and I
know  there  were  like  probably two women in the whole state 
that modemed.. ahaha.   Well.. ok  I  would  like  to ask your
opinion about something:  the "standard  of  speaking" in  the
modem world (especially the  'underground') seems to portray a
kind of racist and sexist  attitude.  Where  the hell did this
come from??? 

YT:  Well I really don't know. The racist views are not as big
as  you  think  locally.  I  have  heard  of  and  seen boards
nation-wide that devote the entire BBS to racism.  It's sad in 
my opinion and some things some people may take for just jokes
may  hurt others, or may just piss 'em off big time.  The 'ho'
talk is not meant to be taken seriously. It started as just a 
way to speak of "chicks" (heh) on the modem. And when I first
started,  I knew none, maybe that's why it's not very fair to
some, but  now  with  "home  computers"  and the big sales of
computers,  the  scene  is  balancing  out.  I  can't  really
understand the negative feelings some hold. They are probably
that way in real life as  well, and it gets passed into their
"modem personality."  As  for  the underground there are some
(politically speaking) women  in  the  national  scene  (none
really local) that move 0-day  or  such,  but  they  have  my
support if it's for them. I remember when I first met a chick 
on the modem (I know chick sounds bad,  but  hell  I like the
word.. heh) she was cool as shit, and I know that the typical
thought of a modem girl is not a good picture in  many  heads 
out there, but there are many I have met that are fine. Hell, 
the chick I live with now I met over the modem.

BS:  Yes,  it's  just  coming back, I think, to what you said
about more computer sales... more people are getting exposed. 
Computer  "chicks"  (like  me and the rest of TDKEB) are just
normal people.. not  great, not  repulsive.. haha.  Just like 
the rest of the world I guess.  Speaking of GOGIRL (whom you 
have lived with since that fateful night in my kitchen), some 
of TDKEB wants me to ask you like how that situation is going 
(or you can tell me to mind my own fucking business..hahaha)?

YT:  Your kitchen!   Big memory.. hahaha.   Well,  it's  been
almost six months  (I can't believe that one myself) but it's
great.  Hehehe.. I won't get into like hot and horny details.
She  is  a person who just doesn't get this "elite" thing and
I'll never be able to explain how I feel about the "scene" to
her. She has quit modeming, and I never found out really why.
She  jokes  about  some of the others she dated on the modem, 
and I think its funny that she was, like,  so shocked to find 
out YAUN-ti  was  not  some evil god.. haha.  We used to joke
that she was sleeping with the enemy.

BS:  Hahaha.  No  actually,  I  think  most of us (TDKEB) were
pretty  surprised to find out that you and most of the rest of
TBH4o5 are  really nice guys.  But you are kind of like a um.. 
oh.. a "housedaddy" now.  So how has fatherhood changed you?

YT:  Oh man, I don't know, I know I just can't go out and grab 
a sixer every other day.  And  her  kids  are  like  two of my 
closest friends now..its great.  Like just the other day I had
the  great  chance to explain things to the five-year old (she
asked me what lungs were  and  how they worked).  YAUN-Ti, Mr.
Science hahaha.. And  it's just cool, but it has changed a lot 
of my old habits.   I  don't drink much anymore, and I have to
watch my language because every word I speak gets repeated.

BS:  Wow.  It sounds like you are enjoying being around them a
lot! That is great. You describe them and being with them with
such enthusiasm. That is something like, if I didn't know you,
I would NOT expect of the "YAUN-ti Modem Persona." :)

YT:  Hahaha yeah I guess I have this strange picture that gets
into people's heads when they hear the name or think  of  some 
of the things I support or do on the modem, but I am, or I try 
to be,  the  same.   One thing I did not mention before that I
should  have  is  that  with  TBH  I have met some really cool 
people and some really good friends. Brent (False God) and Rob
(Jack Flack)  are  two  right  off the top of my head that are 
more than modem pals.  I  talk  to those guys on the phone and
hang out when I can.   That's  one great thing that TBH4o5 has
given ME.

BS:  Yes it has introduced a lot of people it seems.  And even
like  the  Gatherings  and  such  brought people together that
weren't  even  in  TBH4o5,  like,  for  example, US [TDKEB and
TBH4o5].  Are there going to be any more Gatherings?

YT:  Well, if people would quit having them out in the middle 
of nowhere and bring them closer to Norman.. haha. I hope so, 
I enjoy those things, more than the party itself.  There is a
lot of fun at those.  I  remember the first Gathering was not
even with TBH4o5. It was there I announced that I would bring 
the scene together, and well I did that.

BS:  Yeah!  This  is true, you sure did.  I have seen so many
changes just over  the  last six or seven months and I'm just
barely into the surface  of  a  lot  of it.  You know that we
(TDKEB) are having a party in Norman on ------- right?? 

YT:  Cool, I'll have to try and get me and Gogirl to make it.
Yeah I kinda like to be the funny man at those parties.

BS:  At ANYWHERE!!  I  remember  that  one  time  after  that
meeting at Capitol Hill about the modem pornography bill when 
we all went to  Denny's and you were talking to that waitress
about having a tattoo on your butt or something.. so..um.. DO
YOU?

YT:  Hahhaha I won't tell... haha..Yeah, it's a big rose with 
a banner that says 'The Love Butt.'   Hahaha  No, I don't.  I
just like to turn heads and step out of the norms.  It's okay 
to walk  against the flow every now and then, so I just do it 
the loudest.

BS:  Yeah..  that  is  for  sure.. hehe.  I  think that about
touches  on  everything  we  wanted  to ask.. but do you have
anything  you  wanted  to  ask or add here before we end this
damn thing already?  

YT:  Well,  I  guess  that  for this moment that I still want
everyone to support the locals, get some affils and bring 4o5 
to  the national level.  I want this scene to be big like New
York's  or Chicago's.  I mean, we have changed for the better
since the  support of TBH started, and I want it to continue. 
And that I  will be back for issue eleven.  Don't  know when, 
but I will.   And I want those who hate the art scene to give 
it a look. Many boards out there have the latest packs.  It's
some good stuff.  And  thanks  for  this..  another  reason I
wanted  it  is because I'd look funny asking myself questions 
in TBH4o5.

BS:  True..:) You actually have kind of made me curious about
the art packs. I'd like to look at some.  I guess now I will.
Well, thank  you  for  this interview and all the help you've
given TDKEB and also  before  I let you go (hehe) I just want 
to say that all of the ragging  we do on you and TBH, etc. is
meant in fun. There's nothing malicious  and  personal  about 
it. We'll try to keep this interview intact however, just for 
the sake of clarity.

YT:  Hehehe  I  know, I  liked  TDKEB, just  go t lost in the
goofiness  of  it all.  It was really good, and a nice change
from the normal stuff I see and do on the scene. ;)

BS:  Yeah that's what we were shooting for (no pun intended..
I'm sorry, I've been good this whole interview).   Okay, I am
glad you liked it.  Hopefully, with time they will get better 
and better.  Thanks again for the interview.

YT:  Hey, no problem.  I'm glad you agreed to it.  And I hope 
you  have much fun and success doing [the TDKEB e-mag], cause
when the fun in modeming goes, so do I.

BS:  Yeah.. exactly.  Same here.  

YT:  You  are  going  to  fix the grammar and spelling a bit,
right?

BS:  Yes.. hah..I'll run spellcheck and stuff.  I know I made
hella typing errors back there.  But this is the quickest and
best  way  I've  ever  done  an  interview  because  you have 
verbatim what was said RIGHT THERE!  

YT:  Yeah, I  do  it  every month.. hehehehe.  I am surprised 
there were no goofy questions.

BS:  Nah..  not  really.  We have some serious stuff too.. :) 
Actually, I was really curious as to what you had to say so I
wanted to try and keep it serious.

YT:  Cool! Well, K, I am outty, I need to pee bad.  Good luck 
on your news thingie... :) 

BS:  Thank you. I hope things work out for you, too. Bye bye.


 
     "I  like  the  idea  that  a  voice can just go  somewhere
      uninvited, and just sorta hang out.. like a dirty thought
      in a nice clean mind."
                      --Happy Harry Hard-On, PUMP UP THE VOLUME
 


                           What Do You Know?
           (there's a question of relevancy at stake here)

The modem world is filled with them:  half-truths, fallacies,
lies.  People say things casually over the modem that may or may
not be true.  Do you have what it takes to filter through the
bullshit and get down to the real facts?  Check yourself by
taking this quiz of the most common modem lies.

When people say the following sentences and questions to you, how
should they REALLY be interpreted?  Can you read between the
lines?  Pick the one answer in the set of five that DOES NOT
belong.

     "I'm a model."
          a. "I was Baywatch's casting director's first choice
              for Pamela Anderson's character."
          b. "Once I was at the mall and this foreign custodian
              there asked me for my phone number."
          c. "I don't break mirrors."
          d. "I can spell the word 'model.'"
          e. "I have REALLY green eyes."

Odd man out:  A

     "My wife is mean to me."
          a.  "The last time I cheated on her, she threatened to
               leave me."
          b.  "She refused to do the dishes last night."
          c.  "She doesn't like it when I spend time on my modem
               because I flirt with other women."
          d.  "She claims I'm a victim of premature ejaculation."
          e.  "She purposely tries to keep my self-esteem low
               so I won't leave her."

Odd man out:  E

     "I am the human vibrator."
          a.  "I need my batteries replaced every other day."
          b.  "Once I made this woman have an orgasm back when I
               was in the prime of my youth."
          c.  "Sex with me is the perfect opportunity to practice
               your 'faking' skills.
          d.  "One night with me will leave you begging for
               more."
          e.  "You might have good sex with me after you put me
               through basic training."

Odd man out:  D

     "I'd like to meet you sometime."
          a.  "Are you busy in, oh, say about... five minutes?"
          b.  "Are you as bored and lifeless as I am?"
          c.  "I'm horny as hell."
          d.  "Yes!  I found the cyberspace singles bar!"
          e.  "I'd like to take you to Sunday morning
               church service with me to meet my parents."

Odd man out:  E

     "Do you have a gif of yourself?"
          a.  "Are you sexy?"
          b.  "I'm horny as hell and I want something to
                masturbate to."
          c.  "If you're ugly, I'm wasting my time talking
               to you."
          d.  "Is it true you turned down Playboy?"
          e.  "I can't wait until I meet you.  I have to know
               what you look like now Now NOW!"

Odd man out:  D

     "Do you switch hit?"
          a.  "Just out of curiosity... have you ever
                 participated in a menage a' trois?"
          b.  "Can I take pictures?"
          c.  "Does your boyfriend switch hit?"
          d.  "Are you kinky?"
          e.  "Can I ask nosy questions about your personal
               life?"

Odd man out:  A

     "I've been modeming since before you were born."
          a.  "You are a child."
          b.  "I am a god, and I know way more than you'll EVER
                know."
          c.  "I remember when I had to walk barefoot two miles
                in the snow to school-- both ways!"
          d.  "I was country, when country wasn't cool."
          e.  "Everybody's doing it, so why can't I?"


Odd man out:  B

     "Can I be in your gang?"
          a.  "Are you a crip or a blood?"
          b.  "Do you switch hit?"
          c.  "I'm not really this desperate, really, I'm not."
          d.  "Please I need to belong.  Please, PLEASE!"
          e.  "Where can I get an application?  I've read every
               issue of your newsletter and I mix letters and
               numbers when I spell words."

Odd man out:  C

We suggest you use this guide and add to it each and every time
you modem from now on.  It's getting thicker and deeper by the
minute... everyone should also enroll in Intro to Modem Bullshit
101 before the next issue of TDKEB.  Thank you.



 
     "I'm a lumberjack now, baby, but I ain't jacked my lumber
      baby, since my chain saw you."
                              --Jackyl, THE LUMBERJACK
 


                         Some Assembly Required
             (you never know who that might be at the door)

This month, we'd like to dedicate our top-ten list to PYROMAN.
Greg, go get the tissue, get a bucket, put a towel down, whatever
you have to do.  Here is our list of the top ten things we never
want to see Pyroman type again... there are even a few bonus
entires!

     14     "SUP"

     13     "When is your party?"

     12     "Is anything going on tonight?"

     11     "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

     10     "Kangaroo is a lamah."

      9     "Why aren't you talking to me?"

      8     "I got this awesome woman.  She's a model."

      7     "Why is Tina calling me that?"

      6     "Is Kristen and [insert any male on VDS] going
             out/getting back together?"

      5     "Someone call Barry for me."

      4     "Get [insert anyone in a teleconference channel other
             than the one he is in] to invite me."

      3     "You've changed."

      2     "Why is [insert any TBH member] mad at me?

      1     "Where did [insert any TBH member] go?"


 
     "You rich bitch with your socially acceptable rebellion."
                              --Ivy, POISON IVY
 


                      All's Fair in Love and Rock
                (that night the earth stopped turning)


     SOMEBODY SAVE ME!   I think I'm FALLING TO PIECES.  
Sometimes
when I glance in the  mirror, I'll  think  I've  got the LOOKS
THAT
KILL.   Other  times, I  feel   pretty   OUTSHINED.   I  know 
that
beauty is in the  EYE OF THE BEHOLDER,  but  I'm  looking  for 
the
LOVE OF A LIFETIME.  I  don't  want the SAME OL' SITUATION, and
I'm
tired  of  going ROUND AND ROUND.  No  more  EASY COME, EASY GO. 
I
can  HANG TOUGH,  but  I'm  still  CRYIN'  over  the  last
FABULOUS
DISASTER.    But NO MORE TEARS.   LIFE GOES ON,  right?   I'm 
ONCE
BITTEN, TWICE SHY,  and  I  NEVER  want  to  be ALONE AGAIN with
MY
FRIEND OF MISERY.
     During  THE SMALL HOURS  in  the  STILL  OF THE NIGHT,  I
CALL
YOUR NAME.  I don't know HOW MUCH LOVE  it  will  take to find
you,
but  you'll  know  when  YOU'RE IN LOVE.  I CAN'T EXPLAIN, but
it's
MORE THAN A FEELING.  I JUST WANNA know WHEN IT'S LOVE.
     It's  AMAZING  what  some  guys  will do to get CLOSER to
you.
If  you  are  ALL FIRED UP,   SCARED,  HELPLESS,  OUT TA GET ME, 
A
LITTLE BITTER,  if  you  are  just  looking for a SEX TYPE THING
or
NOTHIN' BUT A GOOD TIME  on  the WILD SIDE and you CAN'T GET
ENUFF,
If you won't LOOSEN UP,  or  RISE  to the occasion, if you're a
KID
EGO or a WANTED MAN,  enjoy  BREAKING ALL THE RULES,  are  full 
of
BIG TALK  or are a big, fat  LIAR, have  DIRTY SECRETS,  if 
you've
BEEN CAUGHT STEALING,  if  you're  a  LIVE WIRE  who's  too HARD
TO
HANDLE, if YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME, if you have  low 
SELF-ESTEEM,
or if you are one of those  guys  who  DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT
(TIL
IT'S GONE),  then  DREAM  ON,  because  YOU'VE  GOT  ANOTHER 
THING
COMIN'.   You'll  get  NOTHIN' FOR NOTHIN'  from  me.  I'll 
surely
tell you you can LOOK BUT YOU CAN'T TOUCH.
     Yet,  paradoxically,  NICE BOYS  will probably be told to
take
a WALK.
     This  may  make  you  FUCKING HOSTILE,  but  DON'T CRY.   AM
I
EVIL?   Nah,  it's  ONLY MY HEART TALKING.   Yes,  I know LOVE IS
A
BATTLEFIELD and we're  all  LIVING ON THE EDGE,  but  I CAN'T
STAND
THE HEARTACHE  of  a BAD OBSESSION.  It's SAD BUT TRUE.  That's
THE
WAY IT IS.   I  mean,  EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN  and  we  all 
know
LOVE IS A KILLER, but if you're a HEARTBREAKER, you'd  better 
stay
MILES AWAY  before I get ANGRY AGAIN.  If  you're  going  to 
drive
me CRAZY, then I DO NOT WANT THIS.   I'm  NOBODY'S FOOL,  so 
don't
leave me feeling HOLLOW.
     But   I   guarantee   that   if   you've  got WHAT IT TAKES
to
KICKSTART MY HEART, you'll be BACK FOR MORE.   If  you were BORN
TO
BE MY BABY, then  I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU  with  MORE THAN WORDS. 
It
wouldn't be LIVING IN SIN, because  WE BELONG  together and
NOTHING
ELSE MATTERS.  ANYTHING GOES!   We  can  take  THIS LOVE  to  A
NEW
LEVEL.  If you  DON'T TREAT ME BAD, DON'T DAMN ME,  and  DON'T
WALK
AWAY, then  YOU COULD BE MINE.   I'll worship EVERYTHING ABOUT
YOU.
     IT'S SO EASY, really.   If  you're ready to GIVE IT AWAY,
then
HERE I AM!  I WANT ACTION!  If  you  make me HOT AND BOTHERED,
then
REACH FOR ME  because  I  want  to  SPEND MY LIFE with you.  If
you
are  the  ONE IN A MILLION,  if  there's  NO ONE LIKE YOU,  and
you
give me SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN,  I'll be the one who  wants  TO
BE
WITH YOU   FOREVER.   It  would  be  HEAVEN!  It would be
PARADISE!
I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOUR LOVE (AND AFFECTION).  I'll  be 
SWEATING
BULLETS until you COME AS YOU ARE   RIGHT NOW.  I've  got  a
little
PATIENCE.  If you can't be the one  to WIND ME UP,  then  WHAT 
THE
HELL HAVE I?    WITHOUT YOU,  I  might  as  well  say  GOOD-BYE 
TO
ROMANCE.


 
     "Don't remember where I was, I realized life was a game,
      The more seriously I took things, the harder the rules
      became."
                              --Megadeth, A TOUT LE MONDE
 


                                 Word Play
                    (hey little girl want some candy)

You let me desecrate you...

--Hi my name is Joe and I like it nice and slow so will you
please
   suck my big toe?
--Hi my name is flower and I like to pee in the shower.
--Hi my name is Stacey and my underwear is lacy and I like to
    pretend I'm Dick Tracy.
--Hi my name is Lucy and my thighs are real juicy.
--Hi my name is Pete, dany I am so k-rad elite.
--Hi my name is Pam and I like to body slam then eat a can of
Spam.
--Hi my name is Turtle and I wear a chocolate-covered girdle.
--Hi my name is Chastain and I forgot my last name.
--Hi my name is Dave and I live in a cave.
--Hi my name is Jello and they call me Mellow Yellow.
--Hi my name is Daisy and I am a little bit crazy.
--Hi my name is Mr. Spock and I'm the biggest cock on the block.
--Hi my name is Daniel and I'd like to fuck a cocker spaniel.
--Hi my name is Deega and I'm just too fucking eaga'.
--Hi my name is Colby and I'm a stud but nobody's told me.
--Hi my name is Kevin and beating off is heaven times seven.
--Hi my name is Prong and I wanted you to talk about my long
schlong.
--Hi my name is Todd and I live inside a pod because I think that
I
    am a god.
--Hi my name is Erotica and I act like a slut allotica.
--Hi my name is Rivas and I look a lot like Beavis.
--Hi my name is Erika and me and Brent make a good pairika.
--Hi my name is Gus and I ride the short, yellow bus (thank you
    Brent.. hehe).
- Hi my name is Barry and now I'm no longer hairy, but my friends
    still think I'm a fairy so I guess I'm pretty scary.
--Hi my name is John and my dong reaches San Juan.
--Hi my name is Paramour of Pain and I can't spell my name.

                               I NEVER CAME
                    (as put to the lyrics and music of
                      "Eternal Flame" by The Bangles)

     Close your thighs
     Give me your man, darlin
     Do you feel yourself beating?
     Do you use your hand?
     Do you feel ashamed?
     Am I only creaming
     Or is this burning why I never came?
     I believe you'll taste like spree, darlin
     I catch you when you rae peeping
     You belong in me,
     Did you know I came?
     Do you want me screaming,
     Or is this yearning why I feel ashamed?
     Scream my name
     Sometimes you must aim
     Though your wife is lonely,
     Still you cum and leave a stain.
     I don't want to use your ceiling,
     Ohhhhhhhh.
     Close your thighs,
     Give me your hand,
     Do you feel my part needing?
     Do you have a man?
     Did you kneel in shame?
     Will I soon be creaming
     Or is this burning
     Why I must abstain?


 
     "I'm such a liar.  I lie to myself constantly.  The truth
      is that I didn't know what I wanted back then.  But when
      I saw her, I began to get an inkling."
                              --Mark, SEE YOU LATER
 


                               TRUTH
     Ŀ
     Indisputable Fact Corresponding To Real Events;   The
     Absence of Fallacy or Falsehood; Sincerity or Honesty
     
                              by Raven

Is it okay to bend the truth?  You have to admit, a  lot  of
people
on the modem do it.  Actually it's pretty safe to say that  at 
one
time or another we have ALL bent the  truth  on  the  modem.  
Does
this  sound  familiar?  "I'm  beautiful,  slender,  sexy  and 
have
golden  hair  and  eyes."   That's  bullshit.   Or this famous
one.
"I'm every man's fantasy." That one is from  Precious.   
Please...
Do you know how you would have to be to become EVERY man's
fantasy.
What if one man's fantasy is to make love to a goat!? Anyway...
     Is it okay to bend the truth?  That was my original 
question.
I  don't  believe  there  is  anything  wrong  with it  in 
certain
situations,  however  what  comes  around  goes  around.  In 
other
words,  whatever  you  do,  it  comes  back  to you.  So if you
lie
lie to someone and they lie back, don't  expect  to  have the
right
to be angry.
     The truth is a powerful weapon.  Everyone  fucks  up once in
a
while and if you keep score of things,  it's  pretty  safe  to 
say
that  if  you  criticize  someone  there is probably something
that
you have done that this person can  bust  you  for.  Verbal
insults
are slung about as if they were  nothing, but  the  truth  is, 
the
more a person is insulting, the  worse  they feel about
themselves.
It has been proven so many times.  The  truth  will  set  you
free.
Don't you hate having something on your mind that you  just 
cannot
tell to anyone?  Something maybe that you are ashamed  of  or 
that
you know about someone else that you just can't tell?  We all do
at
some  level.   Just  maybe,  if  we  all  face  that  fact  that
we
have things like that in common we can tell the  truth  about 
each
other without our egos getting blown away.  And  we  all  know
what
deadly things egos are.
     Let's tell the  truth,  who  needs  egos.  Stop  hiding, 
come
into the light.  You  might  be  sexy  to  yourself  and  to 
those
that love you.  But you will never be all that you say you  are 
if
you have an ego problem.  Just  tell  the  truth.  You  won't 
look
like such an ass when people get to know the real you.


 
     "They have all murdered your heart. They thought you were
      a whore.   That is a terrible word to use on someone who
      is really just a sad little girl looking for love, isn't
      it."
                              --The Salesman, DEMON KNIGHT
 



                             DESIRE
    Ŀ
    The State Of Wishing, Longing or Yearning; The Object
    Of A Lust;  Sexual Appetite Or Passion; An Aspiration
    
                        by Violetta Kitten


Desire is  such a powerful  word..  When I  think about  it my
mind
goes  into  overload;  the  strongest  emotion I  know.  A 
burning
sensation  inside  of me... I  want  something.  I see it.  I
taste
it.  I  feel it.  I  hear it.  But  it is not mine.  I can not
have
it.  Something to be dangled in front of me, behind me...
suspended
all around  me.  I try to  grasp it, but it slips slowly through
my
fingers.  Slow enough to let me know what I am missing.  It's 
this
unimaginable  hell  that  surrounds me, teasing me  like the
sweet,
poisonous smell of fresh, virgin blood through a vampire's
decaying
nostrils.
    And I'm seeing something I want right now.  I have this
picture
in my mind.. Can you sense the  intensity?  Can you  feel what I
am
feeling?  The  desire is  so strong, it  lurks inside of me and
all
around me.  It consumes my every thought, my  every action.  I
live
for you, I breathe for you, I move for you, I die for you.
    I  have  these  desires,  but  I can  not describe them. 
These
sensations are so intense that I simply can't deny them either. 
If
I tried to sit here and illustrate them to  you,  it  would take
an
eternity.  There is too much  activity in my head surrounding 
them
and  too  much  denial in society.  Can you sincerely tell
yourself
that all of  your desires  are  fulfilled?  Or more logically,
that
all of your desires will fade into some kind of reality at any
time
in your life?  Maybe it is just me and my negative thinking......
I
would love to accept it as  the  truth, but I have  experienced
too
many "bad" things in my life to follow that line.  Life is
entirely
too painful for me to sit  around and let my  dreams live my
life..
More reasonably, I want to let my life live my dreams.
    But what if I  were to  ignore the  activity?  Sometimes I
wish
that I could shut off my emotions to the world.  I think about
this
constantly.  I need  some  protection, but is  this the  answer? 
I
contemplate  all  of  the  things  I  have  ever  wanted.  Are
they
justifiable?  Do  they  still exist  inside of me?  Questions to
be
answered  only  by  myself  (that  is,  unless you know something
I
don't.. ???) .  Ever since I was in elementary school I have
wanted
to  play  the  drums.  They  have always fascinated me.  I can
just
relax,  listen  to  a drum  solo, and get lost inside myself... 
So
peaceful.  The dream still remains.. And sometimes I wonder...
Once
that desire dissolves into truth, what's next?
  It is not like  I never  achieve the things I want to.  There
are
times when  my desires  turn to  reality, but that just leaves
more
room for more desire.  There is never enough room.  Desire is a
big
part  of  life  and  I  think  that if I never  dreamed, if I
never
wanted, if I never wished, if I never desired... I would shrivel
up
and  die  emotionally.  That is something I am not ready to
handle.
It's not like I am high on life (I will be the  first to admit
that
I am  far  from  pleased  with my life status right now), but
every
once in awhile  someone or even something  new develops in my
life,
things happen  as a result - no matter  what, good or bad...
mostly
bad - and I learn something new.  Observe, Establish, Evolve,
Move.
It is a constant chain, but who wants life to stay the same?

   "My heart is aching..  My body is burning.. My hands
    are shaking..  My head is turning..  You understand
    ..  It's so easy to choose..  We've go time to kill
    ..  We've got nothing to lose..  I want you now."


 
     "I was young when I died.   I  didn't have the chance to
      make my mark on the world. I didn't do anything unique,
      nothing that will change the course of history.   But I
      wasn't  a  bad  girl.  I don't want to be forgotten.  I
      want people to remember me."
                              --Shari, REMEMBER ME
 


                              KARMA
    Ŀ
    Determination of a Future or Destiny  Established  By
    Behavior In The Present;  Aura  Or Atmosphere of Fate
    
                            by DeRaNgEd

   Drifting  aimlessly somewhere between past, present, future
what
has  been, what  is,  what will be, and what is reality.  But is
it
really?  Who  are  we?  What  where  we  yesterday?  Who will we
be
tommorow?
   I close my eyes and imagine yesterday years  ago in a 
different
life.  Sitting silently in a small spice shop waiting  for
someone,
anyone to stop in for a visit. It is a cold lonely  life
sometimes.
Venice is a  beautiful  place  though  and the  waters keep my
mind
occupied; the thought of soaking my sore feet  in them, quiet
rides
over the smoothly  flowing surface. I hear my name  then
"Victoria"
coming from near by.
   Cold hands touch my skin and wake me from the  past I no 
longer
know.  That  is a  different  body; the  same  soul but definitly
a
different body. We all change.
   I look down at my growing stomach.  The unborn one I hold
within
I knew  in her  previous life.  She was a he.  His life a hard
one.
Drugs and luck played the biggest part of her life.  In this life
I
will have to change  that for  her or him.  It's hard  to keep
this
keep this all straight.  Should I refer to him/her as in the now
or
as in the past.
   I close  my eyes  and  try  to  focus on tommorow.  I am
walking
through  a dark  forest  the scent of a  fresh kill is all over
me.
There  is a  creeping sense of tiredness trying to consume my
body.
I  will  soon  get  back  to my den and watch as the  wolf
children
consume themselves in endless games  until they too tire
themselves
out.
  The  crashing  of something in the distance brings me back
again.
Even  the  form  in  which  we  take  changes.  Human.. wolf..
what
difference does it make to a  wandering spirit.  The only  thing
it
it really  needs is a  shelter or  home to rest  and persist
rather
than wander in the dark realms of the unknown.



 
     "There is no new experience in life.  Something may happen
      to you that you think has never happened before, that you
      think is brand new, but you are mistaken.   You only have
      to  see  or smell or hear or feel a certain something and
      you  will  discover  that this experience you thought was
      new has happened before."
                        --Robert, THEY SHOOT HORSES DON'T THEY?
 


                             EXPERIENCE
     Ŀ
     Active  Participation In  Some  Event Leading To  The
     Acquisition Of  Skill Or Knowledge Through The Senses
     Or Mind; Living Or Encountering; A  Loss of Innocence
     
                          by Black Sunshine

Downfall


Let me tell you a story.  This will not be like most stories: 
it's
not happy and it's not easy to grasp, even though it occurs with
an
almost frightening consistency.  And it  never ends.  Not now. 
Not
ever.  It's  a  portrait  of  the journey into discontent, as
shown
through  ardent self-destruction.  Let's  talk about the whole
drug
experience.  Let's talk about what separates the drug  abusers
from
the clean freaks.  Let's talk about what separates us all.
     Drugs are  both a passive and active element in the descent
to
the bottom.  They  are a  cause and an effect of mental
entrapment.
Why  do  people  stick needles into  breathing  rivers of blood
and
inject  toxic  waste  directly into the flow?  Why do they pull
the
thick, sweet smoke of brain  poisoning into their lungs and trap
it
there  until  they  choke for air?  Why do they swallow tiny,
white
packets of paranoia-- ten, twenty, fifty at a time-- until they
gag
and convulse in a heart-wrenching backlash?
     We  all  have  our  little  vices.  What is real without
them?
There  is  no  mastery  of self today without  these  tiny trips
to
nowhere.  Nowhere  is,  after all, right in front of you.  It's
all
around  you.  It's inside  of you.  Even without drugs. 
Especially
without drugs.
     Sometimes the  only  way to get inside yourself is to get
away
from  yourself.  As you  attempt  to leave, you  may notice you
are
doing  strange  things to keep  yourself, things  you never
thought
you'd do.  You  thought  you were strong  until you tried to
divide
yourself  this way.  A drug-induced  dream will  both lock you
away
and set you free in one shot.  Then you really see what's going
on:
     There  is  so  much self-hatred.  I see it everywhere I
look--
in the people I love, in the  people I hate.  It's not 
prejudiced.
I  see it  right  outside my  apartment, and I  see it two
thousand
miles away.  I see it in the middle of the day, and at four a.m. 
I
see it in my past.  I see it in the mirror.
     The struggle begins.
     And how should I torment myself today?
     The control I surrender makes way for a new kind. The
chemical
entity  that  chips away at my  integrity, pilfers  tiny bits of
my
memory and  my morality, and  erodes the dull  pain behind my
blank
stare, also conversely transforms  me into a goddess, seething
with
enthusiasm, self-confidence  and vitality.  I know  she's not
real.
But she feels more authentic than what is real.  This thing that
is
killing me has brought me back from the dead.  I indulge 
heartily.
I  feed off  of the pain that always comes later, because it is
the
only thing I am not distant from.  Yet, eventually, it only
reminds
me of  the shadow I  will be when I am myself again.  When there
is
only me.  I  can't  live  without this  thing that is destoying
me,
because then I would be alone with myself.  I have to  tear 
myself
apart to keep myself intact.
     When  there  are  no  distractions, it is the hardest to
live.
When there is no pain, it is  the  hardest to remember.  When
there
is no  memory, it is the hardest to feel.  We yearn desperately
for
sweet, cold  sips  of liquid life, saturated  with the knowledge
of
memory and the celebration of the ability to feel  deeply.  Then
we
thrust  it  away  the moment  it begins to overpower us. Without
an
identity, we would be assimilated.
     We don't know ourselves.  Something  essential is missing
from
the fabric  of  intrapersonal  communication.  There's a well-
worn
circle  that  our generation has been placed on and ordered to
race
around at  a speed that is ungodly.  We are fed the  delusions
that
belonged in our parents' world, shoved into a frenzy of media 
hype
and stripped of direction-- a circle has no direction, it is
always
turning.  Without  a destination,  there is  no motivation. 
Desire
becomes empty and futile.  We misplace our purpose, our 
humanness.
We lose ourselves in bottomless isolation.
     I want  to  reach  out and touch things, but they aren't
there
The  things  I  yearn  for  today  are  already  regressing  so
far
backwards  in time  that they will soon be in the past.  But not
my
past.  You  can't  touch  me.  Nothing  can.  You can't even see
me
anymore and I forgot how to get out.
     Getting out!  There's an ambition, something  real.  I long
to
get out of this place... this  situation, this state, this
country,
this planet, this  galaxy-- my head.  There is  always a  cell
when
you  can't  get  out of  your head.  It closes in; the thoughts
are
torturous.  Why are they even there?  There is no  peace inside
our
heads  anymore.  There  is  only  an  incompleteness that burns
and
clutches  with the  desperate  fingers of hope, and  of need. 
What
would  happen  if  I  didn't  need anymore?  It's clinging. 
Please
don't let go.
     But  no  one  showed  us  how  to  hold  on  once the
delusion
inevitably  crumbled.  When  will  I  be alive?  When can I
finally
experience  reality?  I fear that if I was  able to  ultimately
get
out of  here-- the  only thing I pray for, the  only thing that
can
save me-- that there would be nothing left.
     This is a story about how to keep yourself when you don't
even
know  who  that  is.  Why wouldn't  we want  to hurt ourselves
when
everything  else  is  so  numb?  Pain  is  the  only  true  link
to
actuality.  The drug experience is one of the only  way out of
your
isolation.  There  is  nothing  to  separate  drug  users  from
the
clean... sooner  or  later, we all try to  get out of ourselves,
or
else we block the exits to ensure that we will never have to
leave.
A  double-edged  sword.  Lack  of contact is going to kill you;
you
have no spirit.  None of us do.  Not now.  Not ever.

How much will I ingest today?
How much?
Three-hundred thirteen hours, forty minutes, twelve seconds.
I have been clean for three-hundred thirteen hours.


 
     "If  I commit suicide,  it  will not be to destroy myself,
      but to put myself back together again.   Suicide will be
      for me only one means of violently reconquering myself."
                              --Antonin Artaud, AN ANTHOLOGY
 


                               BRAWN
    Ŀ
    Well-developed Muscles; Strength;  A Quality Of Being
    Able Due To Potency or Durability; Resiliance;  Power
    
                            by Anacodia

     People  need  a  certain  amount  of  strength to be  able 
to
survive.  I am not talking about physical strength, but strength
in
other forms.  Strength is all in your head.  You  make  yourself
as
strong or as weak as you imagine yourself to be.
     If you  make  yourself  out to be physically strong, and
carry
yourself as such, you will begin to believe that you are
physically
strong.  If  you  make yourself out to be mentally strong and
carry
yourself as such, people will believe that you are mentally
strong.
Of  course, people  that  go  to  either  extreme tend to be
rather
annoying; you  become  either a bully or a geek.  While it would
be
nice  to know everything,  and  nice to be able to  defend
yourself
against that everything that came your way, if you possess a
little
of  both, and  continue working for both, you pretty  much  have
it
made.


 
     "My fear grips the will of stone,
      My grip fears I'll die alone."
                              --Pantera, LIVE IN A HOLE
 


                         Sweet Little Secrets
                (all alone on the edge of the world)

You answered our questions...
Is the proverb "honesty is the best policy" a fact or a myth?
  Dave:  Honesty implies that a truth is being told.  Truth is 
not
  self-evident.  Truth to one may be a lie to  another.   Only 
God
  knows the  truth.   Sometimes  people  aren't  strong  enough 
or
  emotionally  stable  enough  to tell the truth.  In cases such
as
  these it is best to either  plea  the  fifth  or simply give
your
  opinion and state it as such - only  an  opinion.  But  under 
no
  circumstances should you lie.

What is the one thing you feel you can never have?
  Espruar:  Freedom from our idiotic government.

If you could know one thing about your  future, what would you
want
to know?
  Violetta Kitten: I think that's crossing boundaries there
skippy!
  I really want to  know  nothing about my future, but if I have
to
  pick, then I'll take...  how  does  Violetta die for two
hundred?
  Death and all its surroundings  are  extremely fascinating to
me.
  It's kind of like  the  children's  song, "The bear went over
the
  mountain to see what he could see..."

Talk about an experience that makes you laugh.
  DeRaNgEd:  Once I  went  to  a rave and there were so many
people
  tripping on acid there.  I  walked  in  and  yelled,  "BEES!"
and
  waved  my  arms like there were bees flying around me and all
the
  tripped-out  people  started ducking and waving their arms
around
  too and freaking out.  It was hilarious.

Is it more important to have body brawn or mental brawn?
  Black Sunshine:  I  thought  I  already mentioned that my goal
in
  life is to have the perfect mind.  Of  course,  I  would  love
to
  be perfect in every way.  Who doesn't want a perfect  body?  
But
  bodies die.  I guess I would actually love to  have  the 
perfect
  soul, and mental brawn is a key to that.

                              TRUTH/Raven:
              What  is  the  worst  lie  you have ever told?

                          DESIRE/Violetta Kitten:
              Tell  about a desire you  have had in the past
              that has come true.  How do you feel about it?

                             KARMA/DeRaNgEd:
              Do you believe that you have had  a  past-life
              experience?  If so, describe it.

                         EXPERIENCE/Black Sunshine:
              Are you more into the idea that we  as  people
              are products or experience and environment  or
              of biology and genetics?  Why?

                              BRAWN/Anacodia:
              What situation would justify  making  yourself
              out to be physically or mentally stronger than
              you are?

     Please send your responses to any of the five of  us.  We 
are
     anxiously awaiting your answers!!! Thank you.



     "So he reaches down and begins to play with his dick. When
      it gets hard, he takes it fully in his hand and begins to
      massage it.  But then, without warning,  on the up-stroke
      it  pops up out of his crotch and sits there by itself in
      his hand... Oh shit, he thinks, I'll have to be more
      careful in the future."
                     --Stephen Paul-Martin, FEAR AND PHILOSOPHY
 


                    "I Want To F#?! You Like An Animal"
                What REALLY Goes on in an On-line Hot Chat


What you are about to read is real.  This  is  a complete,
unedited
hot chat conversation that occurred on  Vinculum  Data  Systems 
on
November 25, 1994 at around 3:09 A.M.   Before  you  begin 
reading
it, let me first give you some background  on  it.   Kid 
Dynamite,
the victim in  this  capture,  was  a  VDS  frequenter who
harassed
all of  the  TDKEB  repeatedly  for several weeks, asking
questions
such as, "What is  your  favorite  position?", "Are you horny?"
and
the ever-popular  "What  are  you  wearing?"   On  this 
particular
night,  when   he  was  simultaneously  harassing  Black 
Sunshine,
Violetta Kitten  and  Anacodia,  and  they  all  realized  it,
they
decided to play along for the time  being  and  give  him  what 
he
wanted:  a hot chat.  The end result  was  going  to  be 
something
they could pass around to a few friends, as a  sort  of 
vengeance.
So the  capture  logs  were turned  on.  At  the  point  where 
the
captures  start,  the  hot  chat  has  barely started.  He
believes
that Raven and Black Sunshine are both together  and  are
bi-sexual
roommates.  Keep in mind that this  guy  is  getting  bombarded 
by
three women at the same time.  Here  is  the  outcome,  followed
by
commentary from us  on  so-called "hot  chats."  Nothing  has 
been
omitted here.  Warning:  Some  of  this probably borders on what
is
considered pornography in this state.  Like we care.

Reading Assistance...

     This is for those of you who have never been on VDS before
     or  have  forgotten  the  format  of  how  conversation is
     presented.  All of the  conversation  that  occurs  in the
     ==> <== 's is in  a  "chatter channel" and only the people
     listed inside the arrows are inside the  channel  and  can
     the conversation in these arrows. Black Sunshine, Violetta
     Kitten and Anacodia were in this chatter channel comparing
     notes about what  Kid  Dynamite  was saying to them at the
     time and vise  versa, while the others that were in there,
     were in there just to laugh.  All  of  the  dialogue  that
     occurs with  "(whispered)" after it denotes a message that
     only the person it was sent to at the time could read.  We
     have conveniently combined the  three  captures  here  for
     easy reading.  Hope you can follow along.. here we go...


You're in False God's private channel.
Channel Topic: "Sex, great? Or Overrated?"
Kangaroo, Kid Dynamite, Anacodia, False God, YAUN-Ti, Violetta
Kitten
and Black Sunshine are here with you.
Just enter "?" if you need any assistance.
:***
==> (CH #------) [Kangaroo] [Anacodia] [Violetta Kitten] [Black
Sunshine] <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  Capture on. <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: Mine too. <==
:***
==> From Anacodia: My capture is on too. <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  We can compare logs. <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Now we can all savor this funny jive. <==
:***
Kangaroo is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
Kangaroo is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell him you really want to see what he is
hiding under his manly covers. <==
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered):  What are you
doing?
:***
:From Anacodia to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I want to see how you
look completely undressed...every crevice.
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Anacodia (whispered): What would we do
though?
:***
:From Anacodia to Kid Dynamite (whispered): Hmmmmm
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Black Sunshine (whispered): Tell Raven she
should lick you.  And slide a finger in your ass too...
:***
:From Black Sunshine to Kid Dynamite (whispered): Oh baby yes...
can I suck you at the same time?
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: Hahahahahahhaahhahaha He just told me to
get Raven to lick me and uh do some other stuff. <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: HAHAHAAHAHAH <==
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): Does it feel
good??  What now??
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): Yeah.. feels
nice...  what would you like me to do to you?
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): Suck me of
course.
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered):  Okay I think
I can chill with that...
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Come on give me an update <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: Ok then I asked him if I can suck him
off. <==
:***
From Anacodia (to Black Sunshine): Hey K....can I come over to
you and Raven's house tomorrow night?  I had such an experience
last time.
:***
:From Black Sunshine (to Anacodia): Oh E.. yes please do.. we
missed you.. we are thinking about you right now...
:***
:From Anacodia (to Black Sunshine): Oh K... stop... you don't
have to say that.. but I learned a lot about myself last time I
was there...
:***
:From YAUN-Ti:  Cool.  Me 2
:***
Kangaroo is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
Kangaroo is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
==> From Kangaroo: HAHAHAH GO! <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell us what he said. <==
:***
:From Kangaroo (to Anacodia): Say, can you tell me what your body
looks like naked.
:***
:From Kangaroo (to Anacodia): Or something to that effect
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  He wants me to give him head. <==
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered):  Is that all?
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): I want to know
more of what I should do to you!!
:***
:From Black Sunshine (to Anacodia): You have to join us again..
it has been too long.
:***
:From Anacodia (to Black Sunshine): Yes... I have waited for 3
days...
:***
From YAUN-Ti: Sweet!
:***
From YAUN-Ti to Anacodia (whispered): hehehehehehehe
:***
:From Anacodia to YAUN-Ti (whispered): HA HA HAHA  THIS GUY IS A
FLAKE.
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  He wants to know more of what he
should do to me. <==
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): Do you like
pleasing women?
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): Of course...
what do you want me to do?
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I am wet.  I
want you to suck my love juices dry.
:***
:From Anacodia to Kid Dynamite (whispered): Are you still there?
:***
==> From Anacodia: I think he passed out. <==
:***
From Kid Dynamite to Anacodia (whispered): Yes... you never told
me what we will do.
:***
:From Anacodia to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I want you to fuck me
like I have never been fucked before.
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell him you want him to pound his meat into
your cleaver. <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  I go I am wet.  I want you to suck my
love juices dry haha. <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: I just said something similar to
that, Vio. <==
:***
==> From Anacodia: I said-- I want you to fuck me like I have
never been fucked before. <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: YES! <==
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): Ok....but what
next?
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I want you to
slide your tongue in and out of my wet cunt.
:***
From YAUN-Ti to Anacodia (whispered): Join me in on it hahahahaha
:***
:From Anacodia (to YAUN-Ti): You can come over to if you want...
you give great head.
:***
:From YAUN-Ti (to Anacodia): Only if I can lick everyone's
breasts slowly like last time.
:***
:From Anacodia (to YAUN-Ti): GOD i loved that...
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Black Sunshine (whispered): Is she licking
you out?
:***
:From Black Sunshine to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I am so wet.. I
wish you were here to fuck me with your big cock.
:***
Black Sunshine is moaning softly!
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: I just said.. Raven has me so wet.. I
wish you were here to fuck me with your big cock. <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten: I go I want you to slide your tongue in
and out my wet cunt haha. <==
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): I've been
doing that...
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered):  deeper deeper
faster faster
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell him you want him to slowly lick your slit
until you slime all over. <==
:***
==> From Anacodia: I am going to get Yaun and False God in this
chat chan, ok. <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Bust it. <==
:***
:From Anacodia to YAUN-Ti (whispered): Come to chat chan ------
:***
:From Anacodia to False God (whispered): Come to chat chan ------
:***
:From Anacodia (to Black Sunshine): We can have Yaun over to...we
can have a huge orgy.
:***
:From Black Sunshine (to Anacodia): Oh yes.. yes.
:***
From Kid Dynamite to Anacodia (whispered): How big are your tits?
How hairy is your pussy?
:***
:From Anacodia to Kid Dynamite (whispered): My tits are average
but it is what I can do with them that makes me exceptional.  And
I will give you a full on beard.
:***
==> From Anacodia: Ok.. from Kid Dynamite:  How big are your
tits?  How hairy is your pussy? <==
:***
==> From Anacodia: hah hHAHAHAH HA HAA HA <==
:***
Kangaroo is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Black Sunshine (whispered): What is Raven
doing now??
:***
:From Black Sunshine to Kid Dynamite (whispered): She is still
licking me and I am touching her big smooth tits.
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Black Sunshine (whispered): Ever go without
underwear with a skirt?
:***
:From Black Sunshine to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I never wear
underwear.
:***
:From YAUN-Ti (to Anacodia): I'll do that tongue trick with you
all... remember that?
:***
:From Anacodia (to YAUN-Ti): You are making me HOT.. oh my god oh
my god.
:***
Anacodia starts to shake... then SHUDDERS!!!!
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I am sliding
my hand down to your hard cock and rubbing gently.
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: He just asked if I ever go without
underwear with a skirt? <==
:***
:***
==> From Kangaroo: HAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH <==
:***
==> False God just entered this chatter channel.<==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  OH MY <==
:***
==> (CH #------) [Kangaroo] [Anacodia] [False God] [Violetta
Kitten]
[Black Sunshine] <==
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Black Sunshine (whispered): Tell Raven to
lick your ass now.....
:***
:From Black Sunshine to Kid Dynamite (whispered): Oh yes.. I love
it when she does that... She is doing it right now.
:***
==> From False God: Ahh, yello. <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: YES!  FG! <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: He just told me to tell Raven to lick
my ass now.. eww. <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  hahahahhaha  HAHAHAHhahahaha <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  Back door.. Back door. <==
:***
:From Anacodia to YAUN-Ti (whispered):  GET IN OUR CHAT CHAN
:***
:From YAUN-Ti to Anacodia (whispered): What number?
:***
:From Anacodia to YAUN-Ti (whispered): It's number ------
***
:From YAUN-Ti (whispered): how?
:***
:From Anacodia to YAUN-Ti (whispered): Type ;; on.  Then type ;;
------
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): What about
your tits?
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): What about
them?
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten: "What about your tits?" <==
:***
==> From Anacodia: He asked me the same thing. <==
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): What do you
want me to do to them??
:***
==> From Anacodia: ha hah aHA HHAA A <==
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I want you to
cum all over them.
:***
==> From False God: Losers! <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: I told him she has me so wet and I am
fingering myself now.. hahahhaa. <==
:***
==> From Anacodia: Gross!! hah hH h H <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell him you are ready to climax. <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell him you can feel it coming. <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: hahahahahaahaha <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Like a gush of juice. <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaha <==
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I am rubbing
my clit right now just thinking about your cock between my
breasts.
:***
From Kid Dynamite to Anacodia (whispered): What can you do
exceptionally well with your tits??
:***
:From Anacodia to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I can shove them in
lots of different places...believe me you will probably pass
out...most others have...ask Yaun-ti.
***
==> YAUN-Ti just entered this chatter channel.<==
:***
==> From False God: About time you dork! <==
:***
==> (CH #------) [Kangaroo] [Anacodia] [False God] [Violetta
Kitten] [Black Sunshine] [YAUN-Ti] <==
:***
:From Black Sunshine to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I am going to
come soon.. can I suck you?
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Black Sunshine (whispered): Yes.....suck
it while i put it between your tits!!
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  This is hilarious. <==
:***
==> From Anacodia: hah ah <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: Now from Kid Dynamite:  Suck it while I
put it between your tits. <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten: hahah he is doing the same! <==
:***
==> From Anacodia: Ok yaun, I told him I made you pass out
because I was so good with my tits. <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: hahahahahahahahahahahha <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell him you need his meat in your oven. <==
:***
==> From False God: hahah <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: rofl <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  I have never laughed so hard in my
fucking life. <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: hahahahahhahaha <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: THIS IS TOO FUCKING HILARIOUS <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: No doubt... this is the shit.. <==
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): Want me to
lick you ass, grab your tits and finger you at the same time
while you grab my cock?
:***
==> From Kangaroo: hahahahahahahah <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten: He wants to lick my ass, grab my tits
and finger me while I grab his cock. <==
:***
==> From YAUN-Ti: Neato. <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: HAHAHAHHAHAHA This is the fucking bomb. <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: hahahahahahaah <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: roflroflroflroflrofl <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: hahahahahah <==
:***
==> From YAUN-Ti: Tell him that you tie me up and you four whip
me. <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  hahahha <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: YES! <==
:***
From Kid Dynamite to Anacodia (whispered): Where can you shove
your tits??
:***
:From Anacodia to Kid Dynamite (whispered): Places you never even
thought of... I like to whip Yaun... ask him about it.
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Black Sunshine (whispered): Is she done
yet???
:***
:From Black Sunshine to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I am about to
come.. she is licking my clit now..
:***
Black Sunshine is moaning softly!
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered):  All that
could work..  would you like to try 69?
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): Yes....lets do
it now!!  Is your pussy shaved?
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: He asked me if I am coming yet. <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten: haha He goes is your pussy shaved? <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHHHA <==
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I would shave
it for you.
:***
==> From YAUN-Ti: Hhahahahahhah <==
:***
:From Anacodia (to Black Sunshine): I am getting extremely hot
thinking about you and Raven and I the other night.
:***
:From Black Sunshine (to Anacodia): Ohh.. I am doing her right
now.. she can't wait until you come and join us again.
:***
:From Anacodia (to Black Sunshine): Tell me... Oh my god....
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell him you shave it raw every night. <==
:***
==> From False God: Tell him you have it shaved like a heart. <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten: Nasty. <==
***
==> From Anacodia: ahaha hHAHHA HAHHA HA <==
***
==> From Kangaroo: HAHAH YEAH <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten: Raw? <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell him you want him to be the key to your
heart or something to that shitty effect. <==
:***
==> From YAUN-Ti: Tell him you let Raven shave it. <==
:***
:From Anacodia to Kid Dynamite (whispered): When I was over at
Raven's and Black Sunshine's the other night, we shaved each
other....that really got me off.
:***
From Kid Dynamite to Anacodia (whispered): Did you lick each
other 3 ways??
:***
:From Anacodia to Kid Dynamite (whispered): In the beginning
yes.. I was so sweaty when we finally passed out.
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered):  Sometimes me
and bunch of my girlfriends shower together and we shave each
other.
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell him you want to suck his testicles. <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  I told him sometimes a bunch of my
girlfriends shower together and take turns <==
:***
==> From Anacodia: HA aha haah Now from Kid Dynamite: did you
lick each other three ways?? <==
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): Meet me right
now.. your house.  Give me your address and be ready to be
fucked.
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): So soon?
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten: OH MY.. he goes meet me right now your
house give me your address and be ready to be fucked. <==
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Black Sunshine (whispered): Did you come
all over Raven?
:***
:From Black Sunshine to Kid Dynamite (whispered): Yes.. all over
her face.. she is sticking her pussy in my face now.. I'm licking
her.
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Black Sunshine (whispered): Raven needs to
type now...
:***
:From Black Sunshine to Kid Dynamite (whispered):  This is
Raven...
:***
==> From Kangaroo: ahhahahaahahahaaahahh <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: I told him I am Raven now.. haha <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: He is beating off profusely, I am sure <==
:***
==> From False God: Tell him your tongue wants to dance on his
dancefloor of love. <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: HAHAHHAHAAAHAHAHAHAH <==
:***
Kangaroo is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: rofl rofl hahahaahahahaha <==
:***
Kangaroo is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Black Sunshine [thinking it's Raven typing]
(whispered): What is Black Sunshine doing to you now?
:***
:From Black Sunshine to Kid Dynamite (whispered): She is rubbing
herself all over me.  I want to be fucked.
***
==> From Kangaroo: That was classic. <==
:***
==> From Anacodia: This is sick. <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten: Very.  That's why it is so fun <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: What did he say? <==
:***
==> From YAUN-Ti: He shoots.. he scores. <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: hahahahahahah <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: rofl rofl <==
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): RIGHT
NOW!!!!!!
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten:  He is getting violent.  He goes RIGHT
NOW!!!!!!!  He is "vio" lating me. <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: hahahhaa <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell him you already have six people working
on you and to wait his turn. <==
:***
:From Anacodia (to YAUN-Ti): HEAD NOW NOW NOW
:***
:From False God (to Anacodia): No.......HEAD NOW!
:***
==> From YAUN-Ti: Tell him when you go out and don't have a
friend or a dildo that you use your high heel shoe. <==
:***
==> From Anacodia: ahha h ha <==
:***
==> From Violetta Kitten: OUCH <==
:***
==> From Kangaroo: That would itch. <==
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): What if I
declined?
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Violetta Kitten (whispered): I'd fuck you
up the ass.
:***
:From Violetta Kitten to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I have never
done that before.
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Black Sunshine (whispered):  Tell her to
lick your ass.  What is your address??  I'll fuck you both...
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: He just asked for our address, too.. <==
***
==> From Kangaroo: Tell him you need his bun in your oven. <==
:***
==> From False God: Kang, you dork, that's pregnancy. <==
:***
:From Anacodia to Kid Dynamite (whispered): I hope you like girls
in dresses... I wear dresses often...people can't see me
fingering myself if I wear dresses :)
:***
:From Kid Dynamite to Anacodia (whispered): Ever put a guy under
it and let him lick your wet pussy and feel your tits?
:***
==> From Anacodia: Now he said "Ever put a guy under it and let
him lick your wet pussy and feel your tits?" <==
:***
==> From Black Sunshine: rofl <==
:***
==> From YAUN-Ti: Tell him you taste yourself and love the smell
of sex. <==
:***
Kangaroo is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
Kid Dynamite just vanished from the Teleconference!
:***
*** Kid Dynamite LOGOFF, 17 channels in use...
:***
:From Violetta Kitten:  HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA
:***
:From Kangaroo: SHIT!
:***
:From Black Sunshine: hahahahhhahaaha
:***
:From Anacodia: Couldn't take it anymore!
:***
:From Kangaroo: ahahahhahahahaha
:***
:From Anacodia: FUCK
:***
:From False God: He got too horny and fried his computer.
:***
:From Violetta Kitten: Holy fucking shit.
:***
:From YAUN-Ti: hahahahahahaha
:***
:From Kangaroo: He probably couldn't stand it.
:***
:From Black Sunshine: He just exploded.
:***
:From Anacodia: THAT WAS AWESOME.
:***
:From False God: hahahhah
:***
:Black Sunshine is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
:From Kangaroo: And he just came all over his computer and blew
the bitch up.
:***
Kangaroo is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
Kangaroo is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
:From YAUN-Ti: hahahahahaha
:***
:From Black Sunshine: hahahahahahahahha
:***
:From Kangaroo: hahhahaha
:***
:From Kangaroo: WE KICK!!!!
:***
:From Anacodia: hahahah That was hilar!
:***
:From Violetta Kitten:  That was the shit.
:***
:From Black Sunshine: That RULED!!!!!!!!
:***
:From Kangaroo: That was the most fun I have had ever since I
masturbated last night.
:***
:From Black Sunshine: You know he was stroking it.
:***
:From False God: Man, oh man.
:***
Anacodia is grinning at YAUN-Ti rather slyly.
:***
Black Sunshine is Rolling on the Floor laughing at Kangaroo!!
:***
:From False God: He had to log off to go clean up.
:***
Anacodia is Rolling on the Floor laughing at Black Sunshine!!
:***
Violetta Kitten is Rolling on the Floor laughing at False God!!
:***
:From Kangaroo: hahahahah
:***
:From Kangaroo: I am sure he will be back for another round.
:***
Black Sunshine is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
:From Kangaroo: hahahhaahhaahahhahah
:***
:From YAUN-Ti: hahahahahaha
:***
Kangaroo is Rolling on the Floor laughing!
:***
:From False God: hahahahaha
:***
:From Anacodia: haha He asked me if we licked each other three
ways.
:***
:From Kangaroo: ahahahahaahah
:***
Black Sunshine is Rolling on the Floor laughing at Anacodia!!
:***
:From Kangaroo: That was the bomb.

                       
---It's all getting so sad.  We dial up a number  to  talk  to 
our
friends.. and  what's  this  "hotchat"  shit  anyways?   Do 
people
actually get  off  on this stuff??  If you would like the answer,
I
am sure either  Kid  Dynamite  or  VDS's  own  Erotica  (or  if
you
prefer Metro, EROTICA ONE) could direct you to  the  answer 
you're
searching for.  Sure it's fun if you want  to  laugh  your ass
off.
And  we  do.  But,  it's  so  demeaning,  and  further  more, 
what
enjoyment  can  one  person  possibly get from this?  Might as
well
just lie in bed,  masturbate,  and  talk  dirty  to  yourself.  
It
would  help  save  some  pennies  for  a  rainy  day. Survey says
-
masturbation in.. hotchats out.  --Violetta Kitten

---Oh boy am I burning up now!!  Thank  god  he  wasn't  being 
Hot
Chatted  by  all  five  of  us  or  that  would  only have been
two
sentences long and not really worth putting  in  here.   Why do
men
like to HOT CHAT so damn much? I mean hell if you want to  get 
all
excited read Playboy or something.  I  think  it is really
annoying
everytime I log on somewhere  and  I  get   5  messages  from 
guys
saying stuff like,  "Hey  Why  don't you and I get all nice in
cozy
in a quiet chat and I can do  tell  you  things  that will make
you
scream with pleasure."  There may  be  females  out  there who
like
those kinds of things but they are  pretty  hard to find.. most
are
the 13 year old children  who  think  it  is  funny to see how
hard
they can make a man. --DeRaNgEd

---Some men, it seems, don't  see  the CLEARLY VISIBLE line
between
flirting and  harrassing.  I'm  not  talking  about,  like, 
sexual
harrassment  here.   I'm  just talking about being paged
repeatedly
by some lonely, horny  nobody  on  a  multi-line  board with
things
such as "Do you like oral sex?"   Excuse  me,  but  when  did 
that
become his business?  When a guy does  this  to  me,  especially 
a
guy I don't even know,  I feel as  if  he's  trying  to  invade 
my
'personal cyber-space.'   I  mean--  okay,  he's not even trying
to
talk to me like a human being, he just wants  me  to  talk dirty
to
him.  That is such a turn-off!!!  He doesn't  even  know  me.  
For
all he knows, I could be the most  disgusting  thing on the
planet.
I could be a guy!! (Well, some might even be  into  this,  which
is
fine, that's their business, but I'M NOT A  GUY!!).   I'm 
anything
I want to  be  over  the  modem,  though.   Aren't  we  all?  
This
brings  me  to  my  point  though:  most  people  who are into
this
don't even care. They just want the fantasy. Blah. --Black
Sunshine

--Personally I feel hot chats are pretty stupid, but  if  they 
are
original enough, two can play at that game,  but  there's  just 
no
telling where we'll end up. --Anacodia

Raven was unavailable for comment. Perhaps she is recovering from
a
hot chat??? :)


 
     "The only activities I could think of that humans do that
      have  no  other  animal  equivalent  were smoking, body-
      building  and  writing.  That's not much considering how
      special we seem to think we are."
                              --Douglas Coupland, LIFE AFTER GOD
 


                         The Randomness of Thought
                    (there is no tommorow in my heart)



                 Towering Senseless With the Gun in My Hand
                             by Violetta Kitten


     Rush into me
     i want to be inside of you
     Take all of me
     I have a whole new world for you
     Take me, Break me
      Fuck me up
     Challenge me, Defend me
      Tie me up
     It's all I ask of you
     To be my lord, my king
     I want to show this to you
     My only precious thing.
     Love and devotion
     Fantasy and emotion
     Heart and soul -
     you dissolve my commotion
     i just have this one dream
     i only have this one desire
      this is my only need
     you are all i require
     you make me want nothing else
     you make me yearn for only you
     you make me live for your every breath
     Right now it is all I want to do
     Caress my pain with your soft, gentle kisses
     i need you
     let your heart bleed into me so i can feel your pain
     i want to
     Make me feel something
     i need to
     rape my dying passion with your venomous claws
     i want you
     Make me a woman
     Something I feel I am not
     Treat me like a goddess
     His demons corrode my thought
     i want the chance to be able to love you
     will i ever get to hold you?
     i want the chance to be able to hate you
     will i ever get to see you?
     Down, I am falling down
     I know you could save me
     Down, I am on my knees
     What's wrong with me?


                                Dear Mother
                            by Violetta Kitten


Struggling,
 i try to push him away
he suffers a look strong and fierce
As if he were the victim
He pulls his lips closer to mine,
Forcing his demons into my body
They run all up and down me,
Injecting me with their pure, sweet poisons
I try to scream, but no one comes
I try to cry, but no one hears me
And the gun scrapes the sides of my throat
My tongue traces the ghostly outline
As i faintly remember him saying -
   i only do this because i love you
And, at long last, the trigger is released
All of my emotions scream out to them,
        like a blazing fire...
And no one hears me.


                            Capture My Control
                            by Violetta Kitten

What would you do if I shot you right now?
What would you say if I told you I loved you?
Last night...
   I saw the coffin break.
   I felt the darkness tremble.
   My whole world caved in.
And you didn't even care.



                                 Untitled
                                 by Raven

For: you know who you are and don't worry about it interfering
with your girl macking because they will never see this and won't
know who you are anyway.

     My love was like a black and endless mine
     dark and empty
     a worthless hole in the earth
     and then a precious jewel was found
     it burned so brightly
     the darkness was gone.
     And the mine became rich and full.
     A pricelell wealth of joy.
     A diamond with twin sparkling saphires for eyes,
     rubies for lips
     and pearls for a smile.
     But no matter how valuable other jewels may be,
     There will never be one as precious to me.


                      Boredom in Greek Tragedy Class
                                 by Raven

     Prancing horses in rows of three
     Fiery beasts dance like angels bound on earth.
     Flash of steel on hoves that slice the air
     They move over ground lightly and free.
     Fluid motions, liquid grace
     Smoke personified in lines of three.


                           Boredon and Horniness
                                 by Raven

     Turn around and see
     Someone who cares deply for thee
     Whispers of love in the air
     Fingers intwined in your hair.


                           Burnihsed Bronze Glow
                                 by Raven

     The glow of burnished bronze tarnishes in the shadow
     The gleam of polished silver rusts at the presence
     Emotions too strong for a mere earth bound being.
     I can sing songs of tender feelings gut why waste the time,
     When the mouth should be busy sharing kisses sublime.

                         Fruit Loops and Ice Cream
                                 by Raven

     Where in heaven is there a soul like you?
     Where can one find a heart so pure?
     Darkness dwells in light that we cannot see.
     Revealed to me, your light burns like the sun.
     Flames of sadness, now charred embers
     Ice of pain, now smooth waters.
     Where in heaven is there a soul like you?
     I will relinquish a heart so pure.
     Your comfort, I will be.
     Your love, I will keep.


                           Thinking of Something
                             by Black Sunshine

     Why is there a pair
     Of women's underwear
     Lying on the ground?
     Discarded with an empty bottle
     Of Mountain Dew,
     A box of Cheeze Nips,
     An empty, crumpled
     Marlboro Package
     Shining in the sun.
     Ducks walk by.
     Don't see the pale blue
     Frilly cotton
     Half-covered with the kicked-up dirt
     And yellowed pine needles.
     The trees guard it
     Like a dirty secret,
     The sun bleaches away
     The stains of knowledge
     That I'm not sure
     If I'd want.
     How could you forget
     Your underwear?
     Or is she able
     to
     forget

                             Life on my Plane
                             by Black Sunshine


     Green and gold.
     Light dying summer
     And ripening autumn.
     Razor blades and shining
     Silver
     Crosses.
     Screeching tires.
     Close the door.
     There is nothing right
     Anymore
     Kiss me good-night
     And leave me.
     There are too many
     People in here.
     Shut up.
     I fee; claustrophobic.
     Rose petals burn
     Quickly
     And smell nice
     With drops of
     White wine.
     Thorns hurt
     Especially when you
     Don't see them.


                             To Make You a Man
                             by Black Sunshine

For:  who the fuck do you think

     Did it make you a man
     To clasp my heart in your hand
     And hold it out for your friends to watch the pulse,
     The strong, steady beat that was there just for you;
     Then, once bored, toss it away and laugh?
     "You think this doesn't hurt me, too." you told me;
     And I died thinking my life brought you an ounce of pain.

     How did you justify expressing your grief
     At the thought of me sleeping with another you knew,
     To make me cry in guilt, in shame, in love
     Over what never even came to be true;
     Then tell your friends about your big 'act?'
     "He should have known I still love you," you said;
     And I rejoiced thinking your heart was still bound to mine.

     How does it feel to sit back with a joint
     And use my body to bond with your friends?
     To describe with such crude, vivid clarity
     The curves, the acts, the words spoken in passion,
     And how it felt to be inside of me?
     "I didn't tell anyone," you once said to me;
     Oh, how I wanted to believe.

     I swing, bi-polar, between the hate of disbelief
     And the sweet irrepressible forgiveness of love--
     Both irrationally and equilly blinding,
     Both begging the truth out of nothing.

     Did it make you a man
     To hurt
     To betray
     To deceive
     To seize
     To reject my offering to you,
     My pleading for understanding and acceptance,
     And to flick your new eyes of indifference over me?

     Even now, the tears of shock and disgrace burn my cheeks;
     I must wipe them away before you see.
     Because that's how the game is played now
     isn't it?

                 Free-flowing Poetry Written in Succession
                       By Black Sunshine and Fugazi

     Ever drifting tides bring you back to me again,
     Make me think of long lost memories,
     Pictures and visions, all of you.
     My evil brought your good so close,
     Now I cry the tears of so many
     Screaming tortured souls.
     We are bound together, helpless
     Against the omnipresent powers.
     My hate is you again.
     My hate turns to fire, a blazing hot entity
     That once needed me to breathe,
     Now only needs one breath exhaled from you
     To stay alive to view the changing seasons,
     To burn away the ages
     Of bitterness that love built
     And time will not forget.
     I feel the embers cool to ashes;
     There's nothing left to burn
     And I am empty
     A void.
     My cold and empty eyes tell the story
     Of betrayal so dark and unfathomable
     I dare not think of it again.
     Free me from these chains that are my heart.
     Cut the bonds, sever yourself from me,
     Give me back the emptiness, I have it
     With you or without you.
     I stumble and then I fall
     Into this last and final ascent.
     My destiny, I was meant to go alone,
     Alone on a silver platter coated with the rust
     Of too many washings in lonely oceans,
     LIke salt water dripped on a concrete pavement,
     Or into an open wound.
     My tears sting and drip
     LIke honey, thick, sugar sweet syrup trickling
     Onto my tongue, tasting like golden poison.
     I wish I could take you away
     I wish I could be real without you
     I wish I had something true again.


                             i am the hourglass
                                 by DeRaNgEd

i sit back and watch
as time passes me by
leaving me in the
background.
the lights flash by
like a high speed
car chase on the
interstate of life.
i am the hourglass
cracked.
i feel the sand
drifting slowly through my fingers
to form a puddle
of solid lifeless waste
waiting for that one
curious soul to
come along and
turn me over
to watch the sands
fall through the
crack leaving me
empty and alone.




 
     "We set up barriers to protect who we think we are.  Then
      one day,  we get stuck behind the barriers and can't get
      out."
                         --King Arthur, THE KNIGHT IN RUSTY ARMOR
 

                                Dear Raven
         (i am finding it increasingly harder to go on this way)


Dear everybody:

I will entertain completely serious letters  with  serious 
answers
if anyone wants to ask me anything.  I'm no  expert, but 
sometimes
someone   else's  opinion  helps. Just  send  it  to  me  or 
Black
Sunshine  and  I'll do my best.  Of course, silly ones are
welcome,
too.  All  letters  will remain anonymous unless otherwise asked
to
be exposed (and no that doesn't mean I'll take your pants off).
                                   --Raven


     Dear Raven:

     I am self-conscious about my twelve-inch penis.  I think I
     have a complex.  Plus, I'm not sure what kind of support I
     need.  What do you recommend?
                                   --Anonymous


     A crane maybe?  And a reality check?  -R

                                 ---------

     Dear Raven:

     There is an adult action on VDS called "rimmer."   No  one
     will tell me what it means.  Could  you explain it  to  me
     please?
                                   --Anonymous

     Well let me try.  People that know me,  know  that  I'm  a
     little bit naive. I had to ask a lot of people and subject
     myself to much  ridicule to find out for myself.  It seems
     that the popular  answer is when you lick someone's *ahem*
     butthole.  I  don't  know WHY anyone would ever want to do
     that but I guess Pete or whoever created that action likes
     it. -R

                                 ---------
     Dear Raven:

     I  have been talking to a certain guy that I met over the
     modem the other day. He seems very sincere and everything
     but I'm afraid that he is just being nice to me so he can
     meet me and have a chance to try to sleep with me. I like
     to have fun over the modem like any other girl,  but  I'm
     just not like that in person.  You know, I'm respectable.
     Should I meet him? What should I do if he tries to make a
     move on me?
                                   --Anonymous

     Well, first  of  all,  it  might  not hurt to ask him his
     intentions, if he gets  real  offensive he either has bad
     ones or he gets offended easily. If the answer's suitable
     then  I  would  STRONGLY  suggest  to  meet him in a very
     public place preferably crowded and well lit.   If things
     progress well  from  there and later you are alone and he
     still makes a move  that is too fast for you, insist that
     you are not ready for that.  If  he  doesn't  like it and
     acts like you are a bitch and leaves,then in turn spreads
     nasty rumors, screw him.   You  know the truth and that's
     what will prevail.  Don't  let  anyone  push   you   into
     anything you don't want to do.  He's  not  worth it if he
     doesn't respect you  and  foremost  it is important to be
     friends and know each other. Things tend to move a little
     faster on the modem but that doesn't mean you have to get
     swept up in the current. -R

                                 ---------

     Dear Raven:

     My wiener itches and I think it's going to fall off. What
     do I do?
                                   --Anonymous

     Ask Deranged, she has expertise in that area. -R

                                 ---------

     Dear Raven:

     What are ass beads? I have heard this used before a couple
     of times, but I am  unclear about what they are.  (Also, I
     have been informed  that  I may have misdirected my letter
     and that it might be better sent to Prong at TBH.  Is this
     true?)
                                   --Anonymous

     Yes, that's true.  You should direct it to Prong because I
     have NO idea what ass beads are.  My ass is a one way exit
     only. I think I speak for the majority of TDKEB when I say
     that.  Of  course  some  of  us might entertain some weird
     fantasies, so I can't say for sure.   We  don't  know each
     THAT well. But if Prong won't tell you, then look it up in
     the HUGE dictionary at the OU library. I swear, everything
     is in there.  Even Dickhead.  If  dickhead and cunt are in
     there, I'm sure assbead will be in there, too. -R



 
     "I'm sober now."
                              --Chainsaw, SUMMER SCHOOL
 


                             And That's Final
                      (we ain't going out like that)

                         THE PAST MONTH IN REVIEW

                    Best Farwest Trivia Question Seen:
                    "Ding Dong Bell.  Where is pussy?"

                               *  *  *  *  *
                       Best Time Spent Wasting Time:
             The Medieval fair on April 8, at a booth where
             there were candles for sale, and reading aloud
             very dramatically,  the  tag  attached  to one
             candle: "Please keep my wick trimmed to 1/2 an
             inch for best results.  When I get really hot,
             I also have a tendency to drip so please place
             something under me just in case." Oh, that was
             too perfect   to  have been written just for a
             candle.

                               *  *  *  *  *
                          Worst Day of the Month:
             St. Patrick's Day. It's a very stupid holiday.
             As Rivas J'Kara said,  "Why do  Americans  get
             drunk on a holiday  that  celebrates the saint
             who  brought  Christianity  to  Ireland?" Wear
             green?  Um.. I don't think so. As Fugazi said,
             "Green: the national horny color."  [No wonder
             it's his favorite!] Get pinched?  Um.. no.  We
             don't  like  the  little  "Kiss me, I'm Irish"
             thingie  either,  but  you  probably  saw  our
             variations on that one already.

                               *  *  *  *  *
                               Collest Post:
                       (as seen on The Institution)

             Date: 6:08 pm Sat Mar 18, 1995
             From: Kangaroo
             To  : All
             Subj: Andre
             Stat: Normal                    Origin : Local


            I just saw this show called Andre

            Its  about  this  seal who almost dies and this
            little girl with a huge head adopts it.

            And  it  runs  away  like  5 times but it keeps
            coming back.
            It was the vomb.

            The gomb.  bomb

                               *  *  *  *  *
                            Best Pick-Up Line:
           "What school do you go to?" was said by  a  fine
           young male specimen (coughh) to Violetta Kitten,
           DeRaNgEd, and Black Sunshine  as  they  wandered
           around Crossroads Mall during spring break.   He
           backed up his question with the ever-ready  "I'm
           mom" and finally, looking up with the  light  of
           realization in his eyes, said, "I'm making a big
           fool out of myself."   And  his  excuse?  "I get
           really nervous around girls."

                               *  *  *  *  *
                               Biggest Loser:
          GADDIEL.  GADDIEL.  GADDIEL.  GADDIEL.   GADDIEL.
          Oh yeah, and Gaddiel was a loser, too. Even if he
          didn't do all those awful things VDS accuses  him
          of doing,  he still did some pretty dumbass stuff
          that isn't up for debate.  If you don't know what
          we're talking about then you didn't read the news
          and rumors in "Hello I Love You."  We don't  want
          to repeat ourselves.

                               *  *  *  *  *
                            Stupidest Thing Said:
          Okay, who can point out what's wrong  with  these
          sentences?  Raise your hand.  "Women  spent  more
          time trying to  make  themselves  better  looking
          in the 80s instead of the opposite today... I can
          sum up the 80s  with  one  word  baby, and that's
          "skin" and if you forgot like I had let me remind
          you that we got to see a lot more of it back then
          that the flannel-wearing chicks of today. Society
          put  a  lot  more  weight  into beauty back then,
          which was a-ok with me."  We love you, JF. ;)

                               *  *  *  *  *
                         Most Overrated Activity:
                              It's still sex.

                               *  *  *  *  *
                         Most Underrated Activity:
                             SEX!! SEX!! SEX!!
                 But then it depends on who you're under.

                               *  *  *  *  *
                     Best Graphitti Wall Conversation:
                        (As seen on Terminal State)

          One group can not effectively flame everyone  in
            one sitting..remember that.
          One  dick cannot effectively flame every ball in
            one sitting..remember that.
          One idiot  cannot  effectively smoke every joint
            in one sitting..remember that.
          One guy cannot fuck every chick in one sitting..
            remember that.
          One  fat  mexican cannot draw a good ansi in one
            sitting.. remember that.
          One  local  cannot  steal every ware out there..
            remember that.
          But one local can sure as fuck try...

                               *  *  *  *  *
                         Most Overused Statement:
                               "Whahaha..."
                            (what the fuck??)

                               *  *  *  *  *
                         Best Online Conversation:
          It began with Ma'omfelemars (or Gorgas)  saying,
          "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to fuck we go,"  and  we
          won't print the rest.  It's personal.





                        ****CUMMING ATTRACTIONS****
                            
               ...A VIEWER!! YES, YES, YES!!! SCHWING!!!...
                      ...GIF photographs of TDKEB...
                   ...more pics..ANSI..VGA..GIF..BMP...
      ...TDKEB party number two..bigger and better than ever...
 ...so what DO women really want already?  we're gonna tell
you...
     ...the spirit world can tell us the last time you
masturbated...
         ...modern culture and the search for a new vocabulary...
   ...at least three new columns including reviews, profiles/
      interviews with people in the modeming world and
horoscopes...
                 ...pass a story-- twist it, corrupt it...
                                AND MORE!!





                            Parting Comments...

              "Joe bootie naked--film NOW!" -Violetta Kitten
      "My wiener itches.  I think it's going to fall off."
-DeRaNgEd
             "We bring good schwings to life." -Black Sunshine
                  "I have the busiest B in town." -Anacodia
                   "I wanna dip my balls in it!" -Raven


                             NOW BACK TO YOUR
                        REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM
                           ALREADY IN PROGRESS.
                TDKEB Issue Thur-ey available on May 10th.
                  **Taste the rainbow of fruit flavors**


 
     "How sexy am I now, fucker?"
                              --Mallory, NATURAL BORN KILLERS
 





