 The Hedgehog Song, v1.5
     (or why the Hedgehog can never be buggered at all)

         The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All

 Verse 1.
       Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
       But I have to say this as a warning to you:
       With almost all animals, you can have ball
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

 Chorus 1:
       The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
       They'll give you a pain in the worst place they can
       The result I think you'll find will appall:
       The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

 Verse 2.
       Mounting a horse can often be fun
       An elephant too; though he weighs half a ton
       Even a mouse (though his hole is quite small)
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

 Chorus2:
       The spines on his back are so awful thick
       you'll end up with naught but a painful prick.
       He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball,
       Hence the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

 Verse 3.
       Screwing a cow while she goes moo-moo
       Will be entertaining to both her and you
       Or you might try a tiger, if you have enough gall
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

 Chorus 1.

 Verse 4.
       A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
       And a cat or a dog can be more than a pet
       Even a giraffe (despite being so tall)
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

 Chorus 2.

 Verse 5.
       You can manage a snake, though its poison might kill
       It's amazing how humping a camel will thrill
       You can go with a snail if you slow to a crawl
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

 Chorus 1.

 Verse 6.
       You can ravish a sloth but it would take all night
       With a shark it is faster, but the darned beast might bite
       We already mentioned the horse, you may recall
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

 Chorus 2.

 Verse 7.
       You can roger a skunk if you can stand the smell
       Or even an oyster, should he let go of his shell
       A troll can be rocky if down you should fall
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

 Chorus 1.

 Verse 8.
       For slippery fun, you can cornhole an otter
       Or pego a pig after parting his trotters
       Or tumble a tapir, though the prospect appall
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

 Chorus 2.

 Verse 9.
       For prosimian fun, you can bugger a lemur
       To bolster your name as a pervert and schemer
       The lemurs cry "Frink!" as a coy mating call
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

 Chorus 1.

 Verse 10.
       Antipodean pranks -- you can futter a wombat
       Or strive with a 'roo in venereal combat
       Or hump a goanna -- go on, do it all
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

 Chorus 2.

 Verse 11.
       A moose is amusing, a squid quite confusing
       Or try on a rhino if you fancy a bruising,
       Or mountin' a mountain goat (careful, don't fall!)
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

 Chorus 1.

 Verse 12.
       You could thrust with a thrush if you fancy a climb,
       Or pork a few piglets if you have the time,
       A skinhead's pet cat if you don't mind a brawl,
       But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


