Being a Public Enemy of your Neighborhood by Excursionist 8/1/89 In the past, I have seen sevaral Anarchy Magazines and anarchy text files that cover everything from blowing up sea gulls to making poisons from household plants. They are all well written and useful for the everyday anarchist, but they lack something. Realism. I'm not saying all these texts are unrealistic, but a lot of them are. Once I stumbled across a g-file entitled "WIPEOUT.BOX" which went into great depth to describe how to eliminate all the people in your neighborhood. The required materials for this box were: 1 cargo airplane, 1 nuclear warhead, and piloting skills. I do not know why the author of that text file even bothered to load up his text editor to write something so utterly stupid as that. This is why I am writing this file.... So an everyday person like me who doesn't work for METLEX Explosives & Research Company can create havok within his/her neighborhood. The required materials are things you can find around your house, or if not, go to K-Mart and buy them for $20 or less. The most expensive thing is a bb gun I suppose. Wrapping a dick head's house: [1] 2-? rolls of Brand X toilet paper (i.e. Kroger Kost Kutter toilet paper. No use wasting good paper on an asshole's house) [2] Lot's of piss. Chug down a couple of cans of your favorite beverage 30-45 minutes before you leave on your venture. Optional: [3] Generic bb gun As you might have guessed by now, the simplicity of this scheme is grand. Since a lot of neighborhoods are now being patrolled from 1:00 - 5:00 am., I suggest leaving your home at around 12:15 am. This gives you 45 minutes of trouble making. As mentioned earlier, consume 3-6 cans of your favorite non-alchoholic beverage [being drunk when wrapping a house doesn't help much] before leaving the comfort of your home. Sneak out of the house through a bedroom/bathroom window so that no one including your neighbors see you. Walk/jog/run/sprint to the victim's general area. Once there, make sure no one is watching. Optional: Shoot out the street lights with your bb gun before proceeding any further. Then the excitement begins. Commence to tear off 3-10 foot pieces of toilet paper from the roll and spread them in all the necessary places. Suggested areas: Windows and hard to reach places like the roof. Putting the paper on windows is the most ideal spot because when you urinate all over the toilet paper, it will stick best to the windows. Ring the doorbell 5 times and haul ass through the backyards. If you are pursued by violent dogs or hostile victims, that's what your bb gun is for. Just make sure you don't hit them in the face since homocide is not your intent. But whatever you do, do not let them see your face. Put your shirt over your uglyness if you have to, but don't let anyone catch a glimpse of your head. This walk through of rapping a house is a picture-perfect sequence of events that have worked marvalously for me in the past. But here's the catch: Everything NEVER goes right. If it does, leave me E-mail on one of the boards I'm on and tell me how you did it. I suppose that wraps things up for this file. Hope you have fun with it. -[ExCursion]- ******************************************************************************* I would like to thank the Death Master for letting me on his board so he will be the first one to receive this text. hehehehe.... ******************************************************************************* phile #1 of the Nuisance series