WAYS TO GET YOUR WOMAN PISSED!! ------------------------------- Written by: YNGWIE(SYSOP) and SPERMIE(CO-SYSOP) OF... THE CENTRE OF ETERNITY (609)-767-8569 A Black September/cDc Presentation *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=* While she's going down on you, read the newspaper. Tell her that one breast is larger than the other. Refuse to have sex on the grounds that you are saving yourself for the right woman. Immediately after intercourse, open the door and shout into the hallway,'Okay, , who's next?' Ask her if she's in the mood for cunnilingus. If she says yes, say, 'Well, I'm not.' Put her diaphragm on top of your head and walk into the nearest synagogue. Tape-record one of your sexual sessions, then play it back for the guests at your next dinner part Strap her bra to your head and pretend that you're a World War I flying ace. Hide her month's supply of birth control pills in twenty-eight different places. Call her up from work and tell her you want to do it 'doggie-style' when you get home. Bring home a great dane with you. After having intercourse, slide in a ten-dollar bill into her hand, and say, 'Same time tomorrow?' After a long, romantic kiss, ask her when was the last time she trimmed her nose hairs. Work up a good imitation of her having an orgasm. Tell her that you want to watch her masturbate. When she's in the middle of it, start laughing. Ask her why she doesn't fill up with water when she takes a bath. Tell her she has a birth-mark in a place she can't see. Stick tampons in your nostrils, and imitate a walrus. Make a sling-shot out of her panties. Tie her to the bed, and tell her all the erotic things you are going to do to her. Then go bowling. While performing cunnilingus, just before she goes over the brink, stop, say 'I'll finish later.' Then roll over and go to sleep. After insertion, break out in a sweat, put on a concerned look, and say, 'I'm stuck.' Walk her up to a cop and tell him that she keeps on making suggestive comments. When she doesn't have an orgasm, say, 'Oh, stop complaining. Women don't have orgasms.' Ask her if you can have some of her vaginal juices so you can work on your spitball. Suggest that both of you shave your pubic hair. After she does it, point, laugh, and refuse to shave your own. Tell her that feminists are ugly. While having intercourse, fake a heart attack At the moment you shoot off, scream your mother's name. Call her up from work and tell her that you want to try a threesome when you get home. Bring home her X-husband. While seeming to be preoccupied, insert your cigar into her vagina and say, 'Hold this for a sec, will ya?' Tell her that you think it's time the two of you started going out with other people. After she consents, ask her if she'll fix you up with some of her friends. Tell her that her mother called while she was out and asked her if nymphomania runs in the family. Grab one of her nipples and say, 'Okay, now who's going to take out the trash?' While walking down the street, scream at her, 'A hundred bucks a night? Since when?' and walk away. (Optional statement to be spoken with suprise: 'Come on, the whole footballteam??) ======================================= ================================== This has been a Black September/cDc Presentation. All rights worth shit. Thanks Yngwie and Spermie Distributed in part by: Skeleton Crue 415-376-8060 located out of Moraga, California. !!Get on the band wagon before it RUNS YOU DOWN!! Headquarters for Computer Hackers and Anarchists to Overthrow Society (CH&AOS)