___________________________________________________________________________ | | | Beyond Zork: The Lore and Legends of Quendor | | | | A USAlliance Release | | | | Typed By: Z-Man | |___________________________________________________________________________| Within these pages is recorded certain knowledge regarding the flora, fauna, and locales of the kingdom. Although this wisdom has well stood the test of time, I would not wish to see it lost forever in the uncertain mists of the future. Therefore, for the enrichment of our heirs and with homage to our ancestors, I have writ into permanence the lore and legends of Quendor. -MNG GRUE: The grue is a sinister, lurking presence in the dark places of the earth. Its favorite diet is adventurers, but its insatiable appetite is tempered by its fear of light. No grue has ever been seen by the light of day; few have survived its fearsome jaws to tell the tale. DISCIPLINE CRAB: Discipline crabs are small moral crustaceans found in cellars, fallout shelters and other subterranean lairs. These brooding curmudgeons are deeply offended by the slightest intrusion; if cornered, they employ their razor-edged pincers with righteous efficiency. ELDRITCH VAPOR: Eldritch vapors dwell in cemeteries, moors and other locales where fog will hide their evershifting forms. Gleeful and mischievous, they enjoy snatching away the posessions of those foolish enough to wander into their realm. Visitors without possessions are themselves snatched away. DORNBEAST: Smart adventurers run the other way when they hear "Hurumph," the battle cry of the deadly dornbeast. Its 69 sensitive eyes can paralyze an unwary explorer with a single glare. Captured victims are plastered with round, sticky secretions that never come off. MONKEY GRINDER: Avoid this nightmare at any cost! Spawn of a carnival necromancer, the monkey grinder can blast minds to jelly with its powerful Sense Organ. Deceptively eloquent in both manner and speech, these loathsome creatures actually possess little intelligence, and suffer an illiteracy rate of 103%. IMPLEMENTOR: The Implementors are a race of minor deities who dwell on the Ethereal Plane of Atrii. Their ample free time is spent on costly luncheons where gossip and sweet nectars flow freely. Implementors do not discourage rumors that the world was created by them as a plaything. GIANT CORBIE: Corbies are carrion birds with sharp eyesight and sharper beaks. Their color vision is so well developed, they can spot a yellow grotch in a hayfield from 200 bloits away. Corbies prefer the taste of dead, rotting flesh, but have been known to feast on live, running adventurers. CHRISTMAS TREE MONSTER: Vast herds of these luminous vegetables roam freely amid the glacial valleys of the south. Residents fear the autumn migrations, in which the trees cheerfully trample everything in their path. Christmas tree monsters are repelled by caterpillars, but nobody can explain why. MINX: Irresistably cuddly, the minx shares all the most ingratiating characteristics of kittens, koala bears and piglets. Minxes are highly prized for their ability to find and root out chocolate truffles from the ground, and will eagerly devour them if given the opportunity. UNICORN: Most unicorns have fled to the Plane of TransInfinite Splendor, where they enjoy a carefree existence free from the cruelty of man. The unhappy few left behind are eagerly sought by zoos and private collectors. It is good luck to kiss a unicorn's horn; but woe to any fool who harms one. FROON: Legends of this magical kingdom date back before the reign of Entharion the Wise (0-41 GUE). Said to lie somewhere beyond the clouds, Froon was the setting for a series of beloved children's books by L. Frank Fzort, and later became a successful movie musical starring Judy Garlic. HUNGUS: Part sheep, part hippopotamus, the hungus builds its nest in jungle swamps and other hot, squishy places. Normally docile and eager to avoid conflict or activity of any kind, the hungus is fiercely clannish, and will instantly charge at anything that dares to threaten its kin. SPENSEWEED: The healing virtues of this common roadside plant are well documented. Although it is safe to eat, spensweed is most effective when applied directly to wounds as a salve. Avoid the cheap commercial preparations, which may contain artificial coloring and preservatives. CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE: Chocolate truffles grow only between the roots of oak trees. Dark brown when fresh, they decompose rapidly once exposed to air. Truffles were a favorite of Lord Dimwit Flathead the Excessive (770-789 GUE), who ordered the excavation of entire forests to indulge his bottomless appetite. MOSS OF MAREILON: First classified in 843 GUE by Thwack of Mareilon, this soft, pale fungus thrives in underground tunnels and public toilets. When squeezed, the moss releases an invisible cloud of spores which improves the dexterity of laboratory rat-ants. Its effect on other species is uncertain. COMPASS ROSE: The stem of this rare annual always droops in the direction of the prevailing wind. Rumors that the compass rose can actually control the wind are hotly denied by the Guild of Meteorologists, who harvested the species to the brink of extinction in the Rose Riots of 811 GUE. MORGIA ROOT: It is a rare enchanter who does not carry morgia root to gnaw on during a long journey. The mint-flavored juice improves stamina, slakes thirst and conceals bad breath. In domestic applications, morgia root is often baked into pies, and makes an excellent platypus stuffing. CRUEL PUPPET: Few creatures are more dispised than the cruel puppet. It attacks by twisting itself into unflattering caricatures of its opponent, accompanied by jeers, rude noises and shocking accusations. Staunch monarchs have been reduced to tears by these merciless shapeshifters. DUST BUNNY: Dust bunnies burrow in obscure corners and under furniture, and defend their territory by multiplying. They can clog a passageway in seconds, filling the air with dark, suffocating particles. Static electricity and lemon-scented sprays are their only natural enemies. PHEEBOR: Ruins of this ancient city are still visible at the confluence of the rivers Phee and Bor. The reason for its downfall (circa 400 BE) is unclear, but minstrels sing of a feud between Pheebor and its sister city Borphee over the naming of what is now called the Borphee River. RED HERRING: These common fish patrol the dark recesses of freshwater pools and streams. But a handful of granola brings them racing to the surface, a fact known by every rural schoolboy. The old adage about red herrings being "good brain food" has no scientific basis. LUCKSUCKER: Lucksuckers feed on good fortune. Part physical entity, part mental phenomenon, the sucker's appearance is based on the laws of probability, and may change without warning. Good luck charms provide only a temporary shield against attack. The best strategy is to run! UR-GRUE: Ur-grues are thought to be the shades of fallen Implementors. Skilled in black sorcery, the ur-grue can envelop itself in a personal zone of darkness which neither lamp nor flame can penetrate. Sunlight is the only thing it fears. It is unwise even to speak of this utterly evil entity. THE COCONUT OF QUENDOR: Through reluctant to dismiss the Coconut outright, most historians regard its historical existence as dubious at best. Orkan of Thriff has suggested that if all the "Shards of The One True Coconut" and "Vials of The Blessed Milk" were gathered in one place, they would form a stack nine bloits highery, the ur-grue can envelop itself in a personal zone of darkness w